This post follows up from last week’s post “Why Trans People Don’t Produce Happy Love Lives”. The original responder followed up with another comment which I used to clarify even further how stories create reality. I’m including only relevant portions. Read her full reply here on Medium.
In today’s world, being clear about how things happen matters more than ever. Otherwise a person gets caught up in negative events and dragged along by their sloppy story-telling. Then they get more of the same. Their lives suck and, before you know it, they’re on drugs. Or depressed, feeling powerless and, yes, out of control.
None of that need happen. Instead, why not become super human?
Trans as a super power
The responder writes:
“I do know about positive thinking, however. If you had any idea of the journey I’ve traveled to arrive at where I am as a stealth Trans woman you would know. I may as well have wanted to be the first astronaut on Mars.“
This explains why so many transamorous men, after passing through their chaser and trans-attraction phases, into transamory find trans women alluring. Sure, trans women might have penises. They might look fantastic. Maybe not.
But what trans women go through significantly distinguishes them from most cis-women. Through that path they develop extraordinary toughness, passion, intelligence, self-awareness and confidence. Some possess an aggression which sometimes serves them well. That aggression shows as success in chosen fields, making them exceptional professionally. These traits also make them excellent partners.
The person who wrote me continues:
“Meeting or finding a partner feels different. I can’t control what others do. I’m not in control of the way Trans women are stereotyped and fetishized by popular culture. How many times have I met a family member of a significant other and watched their surprise that I was “so normal.” Positive thinking has helped me ignore or tolerate or endure the discrimination and rejection. I don’t know that I have overcome it. As a good friend said, I want to be loved FOR who I am NOT IN SPITE OF IT.”
“I don’t dwell on these things, nor use them as excuses, but simply acknowledge that they are real and empathize with my sisters regarding our mutual experiences with this path.”
Her perspective is great. Yes, these things exist. But they need not shape one’s experience. Neither bigotry, chauvinism, or any other negative belief set need be something you take on. The less one cares about what another thinks or feels, even if they direct their thoughts towards you, the better one’s life goes. No exceptions.
Empathizing: bad idea
But the moment, you take on another’s beliefs, those beliefs start creating YOUR reality. Which is why not dwelling on (stories) like “fetishization culture” or “transphobia” serves your best interest.
What most people don’t understand is “empathy” means “aligning with another person’s story”. When one feels what another feels, both people MUST resonate with the shared story. That’s why when someone empathizes with another going through a tough time, they feel the struggle in that. Society would tell you that’s worth doing. I’m saying it’s not. Not if you want what you really want.
Far better: create your best life. Then inspire others to empathize with that. That way you lift people up. Again, when one empathizes with another’s plight, that unfortunate situation brings them down. Whether they recognize the “downing” or not.
I say, don’t bring yourself down, bring others up!
Of course successful transgender women know about positive thinking. Especially regarding their transition success. Still, such women might feel disempowerment in other life areas. It explains why some successful trans women remain single and lonely.
Same goes for everyone else. Dating websites take advantage of such imbalances.
Some successful people know more about “determination” and “will power” than positive thinking. This distinction reveals itself in successful people’s attitudes. Attitudes which reflect hefty doses of skepticism and resignation. Such attitudes come from struggle, working hard and other characteristics accompanying “determination” and “will power”.
These attitudes combined with often told stories about life areas not working out, reveal a lack of positivism.
You can shape others
Being trans or trans-attracted, you, dear reader, might claim positivity, yet still struggle. That’s why The Transamorous Network exists. It offers upliftment and a 100 percent success guarantee. Do what we describe and you’ll find everything you want, easy and quick.
So many think external circumstances and other people’s behaviors exist beyond their control. That belief distinguishes “Positive Thinking” from being Positively Focused.
My experience tells me a person can’t control what happens after it happens. This includes people’s behavior. No amount of positive thinking will change something that happened already.
Many people try changing people’s behavior that way. Changing people’s behavior after it shows up rarely works. When it does, it rarely lasts.
Effort that fails to impress
But people’s behavior comes from somewhere. All behavior starts as incipient impulse before it shows up. In other words, there’s an underlying origin of all physical phenomena, including human actions/behavior. When a person learns to leverage that, EVERYTHING that shows up shapes to that person’s desires. It does so because what they’re doing when leveraging that incipient reality is they create [shown up reality] before it shows up.
People trying to control other people’s behavior after the behavior happens, create feebly. I pasted the definition below because the it amplifies my point:
There’s no strength or force in trying to change people’s shown up behavior. But one can 100 percent convince and impress the Universe so it inspires behavior in others matching what one wants. That is, IF they discover the reality I refer to above. Then leverage it to their advantage.
Life matches what one wants when one realizes how that happens. I explain how that works every week in this blog. Most don’t understand how it works. But those who do become super human.
Then they get everything they want.