men who love transwomen - The Transamorous Network

June 6, 2023June 4, 2023

How To Turn Toxic Anti-Trans Rhetoric Into Great Results

It’s Pride Month!

Typically we don’t celebrate such things. But this year, something happened demonstrating a perfect application of what we talk about all day, every day here at The Transamorous Network. And it’s related to Pride Month. So we wanted to amplify the goodness.

While scrolling social media we came across an interesting meme. Mixed Martial Arts Competitor Fallon Fox posted something our friend Kari reposted. The post refers to a pride month artistic rendering of the words “pride” and “month” mushed together. The result is the rainbow-colored word “demon”.

Fallon alludes to some kind of controversy about this meme. We didn’t realize what the fuss was about. It’s a cool meme, which cribs from art created by queer artist “Art By Veya”, who is selling the design in various styles and colors of t-shirts on their website.

So we looked up the controversy. Apparently the kerfuffle started with conservative media member and QAnon believer Lauren Witzke. She posted the meme on Twitter. She thought she was “owning the libs”. As with all attempts to push against something, though, it backfired.

Instead of putting fear in the LGBTQ community, her post acted as free advertising for the creator. It also generated a flurry of “good news” LGBTQ articles proclaiming how great the tweet was:

But that’s not all! There are a lot of other positive things happening in response to Witzke’s lame attempt. Let’s check them out.

Stories create reality

First, notice Witzke’s attempt to cancel the community did exactly the opposite. It’s a perfect example of “Whatever you push against, you amplify”. In other words, whatever you put your attention on will grow. It happens that way because that’s how our participation in the Universe creates more of the Universe. So it’s to our advantage always to pay attention only to things we want to see more of. Or tell the most positive story we can about what we face.

Second, notice all the positive stories journalists, gay folks, and even Fallon Fox are making of Witzke’s tweet. These people are finding empowerment and…let’s admit it…great humor in Witzke’s fruitless attempt. These are perfect stories that will create more and better experience for everyone involved.

Finally, let’s take a look at the artist who created the work. It’s a certainty “Art By Veya” had NO IDEA this kind of thing would be responsible for pushing them into a whole other notariety level. A lot of folks are reposting and posting anew about this seemingly coincidental experience. “Art By Veya” is literally getting famous from what looks like a coincidence. And, according to the artist, her sales have seen a sharp increase.

Only these kinds of things aren’t coincidence. More of these kinds of things can happen for all of us when we tell positive stories about our lives and what we want. In fact, such experiences happen around us all the freaking time. But if we’re too head-down, complaining about life, bored or anxiety-ridden we miss them.

Why? Because such events are high-vibration events. And if we’re not at the frequency of such events they might as well not happen. Because we’re not a match to them. So they happen, but we don’t experience them.

Create your version of this goodness

Which is why we encourage everyone reading this that if you’re unhappy with aspects of your life, you can change them. No matter what it is. Our clients are showing themselves that they can make their lives better. So can you.

Don’t have a lover and want one? You can have one. Your landlord evicted you because you’re trans? You can fix that too. Nothing is outside of your power to change. But you can’t keep telling stories about what you don’t want and expect it to go away. Witzke and other anti-trans people are proving this over and over.

So are transgender women and trans-attracted men, by the way. Notice the more the community complains and push against anti-trans people, such as J.K. Rowling, the more they double down on their opinion. We can’t get what we want by pushing against what we don’t. Witzke’s example proves this as do many others.

So tell better stories. Tell EXCELLENT stories and watch what happens. It won’t happen overnight, but change awaits your discovery, and your delight (hey, that rhymes!). The only price you must pay: the price of feeling better about your currently situation.

Need help doing that? We’re here.

May 30, 2023April 15, 2023

Men Who “Bottom” Offer Pleasure To Trans Women

Alright. Let’s admit something up front. This story will trigger many transgender women. I’m not meaning to trigger transgender women. I’m meaning to soothe their resistance so they get what they want. Still, if you’re trans and feeling triggered, please stop reading.

Physical reality thrives on diversity. In all the Universe, diversity reigns. “All the Universe” includes the transgender community. My conversations with transgender women and trans-attracted men confirm what I know: great diversity exists in the trans community. Not all transgender people believe the same. Nor do they behave the same. Nor do they prefer the same things. Isn’t this obvious?

So while perhaps the majority of trans women may agree on any given subject, there always will be those who don’t. That’s great news for some trans-attracted men. Because as long as trans-attracted men exist, there will be transgender women matching those men’s preferences. And vice versa.

The Universe drove that home for me the other day. I didn’t see it coming, honestly. So when it happened, it blew me away. I consider myself pretty well-versed on trans/trans-attraction issues. But I guess even an old salty dog of a windbag like me can learn something new.

An unexpected enlightenment

A reader of mine, proud as hell about his trans-attraction, responded to one of my recent stories. What he wrote was astounding. It astounded me because I hadn’t thought about the perspective he shared:

Julian’s comment blew my mind on several levels. Not only is Julian proud of his trans-attraction, he lives his preferences out loud. But that’s not all. Julian takes it way beyond what I had thought about men who prefer pre-op transgender women.

What Julian is saying here is, transgender women who like to penetrate men enjoy that act. They find penetrating men sexually pleasing. In other words, fucking men, and seeing the men enjoy it, gives them pleasure. All this time I’ve taken that fact for granted. But it’s an important point. One worth highlighting. For women who like fucking men, those women like it. And so, men who like being fucked by transgender women who fuck men, offer such women pleasure.

Perfect matches exist

Of course there are transgender women who revile their penis. Some transgender women want their bodies to match who they believe they are. So they get Gender Confirmation Surgery (GCS). Those women won’t feel fully themselves until they do.

But there are also more transgender women coming out expressing appreciation for their penis. They are proud of not being like cis women. They don’t need GCS. They’re fine with who they are and what they are. Some pass, but some don’t care about that. And some of those women enjoy using what they were born with. For those women, it’s good men like Julian exist.

Even so, I always counsel men like Julian, especially those in early trans-attraction stages, to consider something important. Transgender women are human beings. Because they’re people, they bring far more to the table than a source of sexual gratification. But since men are men, they often express their attraction in hyper-sexualized or objectifying terms. Transgender women need to understand that. In other words, the men’s behavior isn’t personal.

Focus on wanted, not the opposite

If transgender women can get over taking what men do or say as personal, they can find their matches more quickly. It doesn’t take a large pool of men meeting a trans woman’s preferences to meet her match. If a transgender woman is monogamous, it only takes one guy. And the Universe will match her with that guy. If she’s a match to him.

But if transgender women believe only guys like Julian exist, and they don’t want that, then those women aren’t matches to the guys they want. So they won’t find them. Then they’ll compromise.

No wonder so many transgender women express bitterness towards men like Julian. They’re all busy focused on what they don’t want. So all they see is that. The problem is, in their bitterness, they’re not a match to the guys that aren’t like Julian. And so such men might as well not exist.

But they do exist.

A bitter trans woman complaining about “Julians” will not find them though. Because she’s not a match to them. Meanwhile the “Julians” of the world will find their matches. That’s because men like Julian focus on what they want and ignore everyone else. And everyone else’s opinions. So they get what they want. And as a result, the women they get get what they want too.

May 9, 2023March 26, 2023

Trans-Attracted Men: Your Struggle Is On You

Sometimes I get great responses from transgender women. More and more transgender women who get it write me. I like that. They confirm what I already know. When they do that, I know they are amplifying their own awareness. Including their awareness of the reality of trans-attracted men.

These are the kinds of transgender women I want to surround myself with. Women who are articulate, insightful and intelligent. Transgender women who are not consumed by self-loathing. Self-loathing that they then project onto trans-attracted men. I like interacting with transgender women who are a match to me. Like the woman who wrote me recently. It’s so refreshing when that happens.

By the way, doing what I’m doing here makes it more likely that I meet more such women. While I talk about what I want I get more of what I want. It also represents a basic, essential practice of “stories create your reality“. I’m telling stories about what I want. Doing so, I’m becoming more a match to what I want. And in becoming more of a match, I’m meeting more of the kinds of transgender women I want to aquaint myself with.

I love it when my life proves what I tell my clients. Meanwhile, my clients increasingly discover how effective telling positive stores is too.

It’s not easy at first. But after some practice, they get good at it. Then anything becomes possible.

One transgender woman to another

A regular reader of my articles on a social media website recently shared her perspective. Her perspective didn’t surprise me because this transgender women is brilliant AF. It doesn’t surprise me she also happens to be an artist. Artists have built-in connection with the wisdom of All That Is. In other words, they can access more readily, wisdom at the center of All That Is and express it as art. That’s why they create art.

Being transgender AND an artist is a major gift this woman gives to herself. I don’t know if she realizes how special she is, but I realize it. This is why when she shared her view, it didn’t surprise me. But what she wrote was so accurate, I had to share it.

Here’s the article she responded to. In it I raved about a telephone conversation I enjoyed with a trans-attracted guy. He reached out to me after looking at The Transamorous Network’s instagram profile. The guy inspired me so much I just had to share details of who he was. I’m glad I did. What I got in return was gold.

It’s up to you men

Genivieve began her response with a well-deserved critique on transgender women’s perspective on men:

“To be upset about being fetishized is to misunderstand men. Men objectify everything they desire. It’s not just Trans women. Cis women are equally objectified if not more so. It’s the way men fixate on their prey so to speak. It’s generally something they discovered earlier in life as they are first becoming a sexual being. Like being imprinted, it remains for life as their primary attraction.”

Imagine if more transgender women understood this. Hell, it would be great if Cis women understood this! It would take a lot of sting out of being objectified. Objectification needn’t be a triggering event. And it isn’t, when the person being objectified doesn’t tell stories about it that personalize it. That’s a more empowering way of looking at it anyway. Because when a man objectifies, it’s not personal! Well, it’s personal for him. But that’s all.

Like Genivieve says, men objectify pretty much everything they want. Not just women. They objectify cars, money, certain occupations. Again, it’s not personal. It’s just a process men use.

But — and here’s the kicker — men aren’t the only ones doing this. Women do it too. As offended as they get about it, women objectify men as well. They do the same to women sometimes. They even do it to themselves. Maybe not as much or as overtly as men. But that may be because society conditions women to conceal their very natural objectifying tendencies. If that conditioning weren’t there, my guess is women would take men’s objectifications less personally. And they’d be more transparent about when they objectify others.

But that’s another story.

The struggle of not taking objectification personally is a struggle. But it doesn’t need to be.

It’s on you men

Later in her comment, Genivieve gets to the heart of the matter. I love this because she pulls no punches. Nor need she. The bolded parts are made here for emphasis:

“The key with all men is to understand and allow them what they crave. If you want to keep a man’s interest, you must first be what he is actually attracted to. The social struggle for Trans-attracted men is the difficult part. That work is on them. Once we all can openly embrace who and what we are, we can live more simply and happily with someone that we can love completely.”

Hear, hear Genivieve! Indeed, trans-attracted men, your path is laid out before you. It’s on you to figure it out. No one’s going to do that for you. The thing is though, you took on this task yourself before you came into a body. So you’re up to the difficulty.

In fact, when you decided to come into the world as trans-attracted, you didn’t see it as going to be hard. You saw it as the great opportunity that it is. The opportunity to live in a new way. A new way that would help nudge humanity towards greater diversity, openness and expansion. And you knew you would be better because of the journey. The same is true for every transgender woman.

The crux of the matter

And this is why trans-attracted men and transgender women have the potential to be perfect mutual matches. That they often come together amidst all kinds of drama, blame, anger and frustration is the flip side of that mutual match potential.

And this is why I do what I do for both transgender women and trans-attracted men. So much potential for love exists between these two groups. If only both sides can get over their disempowering stories, then approach one another from understanding born of realization. I write these articles to nudge both sides to that realization.

It happens one person at a time. When it does, the sparks of love shine and everything becomes possible. Everything becoming possible first starts with you loving yourself. Or as Gen puts it: “openly embrac[ing] who and what we are”.

Trans or trans-attracted you’re meant to enjoy everything you desire. But as Gen says, it’s on you to get to that enjoyment. If you’re ready, I can help.

By the way, if you want to follow Genivieve on Medium, be my guest!

April 25, 2023March 12, 2023

Yet Another Transgender Woman Gets It

Oh boy, I’m attracting extraordinary transgender women!

I love it when I connect with transgender women who get it. The trans community is NOT homogenous. Not in any respect, but especially when it comes to opinions about many things, including being transgender.

Many transgender women hold views totally different from those who complain about men, their lives, the world around them and how poorly that world treats them. To the trans-attracted men: I suggest focusing on these transgender women. Not those who blame you for their experience. Trust me, you’ll find them everywhere.

These kinds of transgender women see where their views of the world shape the world they live in and experiences they have. Still others get how pointing fingers at men for being chasers perpetuates negative experiences transgender women experience with such men.

I will say this over and over: men struggle with their trans-attraction. That struggle strongly resembles processes many transgender women go through on their way to self-acceptance. Processes that help both parties get over their fear, their confusion, and shame. In other words, both parties have a lot in common. In fact, both parties share extremely intimate experiences. Experiences that can form the basis of intense, intimate, deep, loving relationships.

Another joyful connection

I had the pleasure of communicating with yet another transgender woman whose insight and maturity allows her to see things other transgender women can’t or won’t. I loved reading her response to a story I posted recently. Her response increases my knowing that these kinds of women exist. Women who share perspectives I have. Perspectives which say being trans is a unique, special and world-changing experience. And those having those experiences are worthy of veneration.

In the story I posted not long ago, I shared my personal views about transgender women. I wrote about what they represent (to me) and what that representation means for the world. Kari responded to that story. She gave me permission to use her real name.

The two comments she made are gold:

A brilliant and accurate analysis of what I wrote in my original story

And her perspective shared subsequently.

I’m heartened that transgender women exist like Kari. Women who can hold two different views and accept both. I also appreciate her self awareness. That self awareness shines through her self-image. A self-image through which she can see flaws in beliefs transgender women hold which vilify trans-attracted men. And ideas that try to put all transgender women in the same box.

There’s a lesson here guys

The transgender community is as diverse as any other. Transgender women exist who will meet any preference. They don’t all think the same. While there are transgender women who want to live as if they’re cis, there are transgender women who eschew that paradigm. And if you’re interested in a trans woman who will satisfy your preferences, you can find them.

Finding them however, means you must stop putting all your eggs in the wrong basket. Instead, focus on what you want to the exclusion of all else. Let them come to you. Let the Universe bless you with your perfect match. You do that by becoming a match to what you want. That happens if you focus exclusively on what you want.

Meanwhile, the girl you want, who meets your every preference, will get her own impulses. She’ll be inspired to places where you are. And before you know it, you’ll find yourself in her arms. And her in yours. Need help figuring this out? Then contact me.

And feel free to read some of Kari’s writings on Medium.

April 4, 2023February 10, 2023

The Best Way To Improved Transgender Lives

Many trans-attracted men and transgender women have a hard time with this because it sounds so unbelievably “absurd”. And yet, there’s ample evidence supporting the notion. The notion that the fastest way to a better life, whether it’s finding a partner, having family accept us or finding more freedom in society, comes from first accepting how life is now.

Now, some transgender women who come to this story will push hard against this. Their experience seemingly shows them the best way to change a life situation is to push against it, resist it, protest about it.

But one of life’s many paradoxes is, it is the accepting of what is that makes change happen faster. And, in every case where change happens, that’s what makes it happen. Even when it looks like that’s not happening.

An old client of mine found this to be the case. After a l-o-n-g period of her family disowning her, she recently IM’d me with delightful news:

A former client realizes a long-held desire. Her family had disowned her. But now, after practicing what we offer at The Transamorous Network, she’s manifested a long-held wish.

Make peace release resistance

Persistent negative experiences, especially involving other people, remain persistent because we focus on trying to change the experience. But the problem with changing the experience involves why we want to do that. Typically, humans want change because they don’t like what they have. Trans-attracted men feel shame about their trans-attraction, for example. They don’t want to feel that awful emotion. So they try changing what they are.

But if they make peace with their trans-attraction, “shame” gets replaced with “being ok with what is.” That making peace eliminates one’s focus on the unwanted experience. Eventually “being ok” allows the person to explore their bogus stories about trans-attraction. Stories like “I must be gay” or, “my family will disown me”, under dispassionate scrutiny can then turn into more empowering stories.

In the absence of resistance, change will show up. Especially when the person focuses on what they want, while being ok with what they have.

That’s part of the practice I share with my clients. As simple as it seems, it has powerful, enduring force. Force born of what creates and maintains the Universe.

Future improvement

The same goes with transgender women. If we want love from men, love that looks like what we want, we must stop looking at experiences that don’t match that. We also need to stop complaining about those experiences. Complaining is focus. Negative focus. Negative focus amplifies that which we complain about. Since the Universe gives us what we focus on, not what we want, the Universe in this situation will give us more to complain about.

But when we come to peace with experiences we’re having and revel in the reality that we’re creating those experiences, we embrace our power. And there, future experiences MUST look different. Especially if we focus on what we want, instead of what we don’t.

Abraham, one of my spiritual guides, putting it plainly. Improvement happens speedily when we accept our present.

We must stop complaining. Focus on what we want instead. Appreciate, or at the very least, accept what we have. For the change we want can’t happen so long as we resist what we have.

But in the acceptance, we come into eventual new futures. Futures aligned with everything we want. It’s the Charmed Life I write about on my other blog.

Having trouble not complaining? Give me a shoutout. I can help!