Self-love Acceptance - The Transamorous Network

December 3, 2024November 17, 2024

I Had Sex With A Post-OP Trans Woman

Photo by Dainis Graveris on www.sexualalpha.com

TL;DR: The author shares what happened when a trans woman invited them to test drive her new vaginoplasty. What they found and what they recommend may surprise some and confirm others’ opinion about what sex with a post-op trans woman is like.

What it is like to be inside a post-op trans woman’s vagina? What does it feel like? Is the medical miracle comparable to the real thing?

Not long ago, I got answers via an unexpected late-night invitation: a trans woman I know traveled to Thailand for her “bottom surgery”, recovered, and now wanted feedback on her new nether regions. She wanted me to take a test drive.

I was willing, if she was willing to take the feedback (and some other things) for what it was: my honest, unvarnished opinion. It was a hook up, no doubt, not something I do lightly or even frequently. But Jane, let’s call her, is a familiar person and I wanted to help. She’s also smart, kind, politically active, young and pretty. In the least, we’d have good conversation as always. So I jumped in a Lyft and headed to Southeast Portland.

I’m writing this for you guys interested in trans women who may not have had sex yet with one, or maybe have, but with a pre-op trans woman. Or maybe you have had sex with a post-op trans woman. If you have, I’d love to hear your experience.

Here comes mine…

First, upfront disclosure: I prefer pre-op trans women for obvious reasons. Before you girls start hating, realize this is MY preference. It’s way more than about the plumbing alone and if you don’t like it or understand it, go after what you want rather than railing against me. I know my preference is natural. Yours are too. So go for what you want and leave mine alone. 😊

I didn’t realize Jane had a vagina until after my Lyft had long ago dropped me at my destination and departed towards its next fare. I sat there across from Jane on a tan couch positioned oddly in the center of her apartment, amid boxes, panties, cat litter and other assorted strewables. The place looked like two airlines crashed in her apartment spewing passengers’ private things wall-to-wall. Shit was everywhere…except maybe where it should have been.

Jane offered a good excuse: She’s packing for a cross-town move. Why she thought about getting vaginal feedback now crossed my mind later, long after the test drive. But in the moment…well, let’s just say I was focused on more important things.

The point being, $35 into a $60 round trip Lyft fare, it was too late by the time she told me she had a vagina to decline the offer. Not that I would have had she told me ahead of time.

I’m not a hypocrite, so being where I am in my own development stemming from practicing what I preach at The Transamorous Network, I had no expectations what Jane’s booty call would include. She simply asked “want to come over and have sex with me?” That was it.

I had no idea what Jane had in her pants either. I knew from lengthly conversations that she saw herself “as a woman”. My awareness extended only that far. Besides, I know plenty of trans women who see themselves as women, but have penises.

As I said, Jane also is pretty, smart and fun to be around. So I didn’t mind if nothing happened, if she had a cock or something else. No specifics significantly registered. I only thought it would be nice to see her, sex or no sex.

After acknowledging this was a booty call and with small talk catchup behind us, the night got more…interesting. A fairly rigorous conversation followed about “the act”: her desires, how she liked it, what she was into, etc.

I made sure everything about to happen was consensual, without making it weird, even though I thought about whipping out my iPhone and recording us both acknowledging a consensual pairing.

Most of our pre-foreplay intellectual banter concerned Jane’s preoccupation with my pre-op preference.

But it’s not relevant

Like some trans girls, Jane is hyper-sensitive over men who prefer pre-op trans women. I get that sensitivity. While some men can and probably do get off being objectified — by trans women and others — sometimes for their endowments, their six pack, or money, for example, most trans women I know aren’t too keen on a guy liking them only for what they’re packing.

Some men do objectify pre-op trans women. But most of the men I work with through The Transamorous Network want something more than sex with trans women. They’re rational enough in their desires though to know what they like, and I encourage self-love, honesty and integrity in all my clients.

Desires, I tell them, are to be fulfilled. So long as my clients tell stories consistent with what they want, what they want will fulfill themselves. Same with trans women and their desires. Planet Earth contains enough time and space for everyone’s desire. One needn’t criticize what another wants just because one doesn’t want that.

If a trans woman doesn’t want to be objectified for having a penis, she won’t so long as she tells stories consistent with what she wants (being seen for all she is) instead of what she doesn’t want (being seen only as having a penis).

So trans women: Go get what you want. Leave others to their desires.

By the time we talked through Jane’s triggered story about my preference (which was irrelevant) sex was a foregone conclusion. No one was backing out, neither Jane, nor I, nor my curiosity, nor her feedback desires.

I had never been with a post-op trans woman. This would be an interesting anthropological adventure! What happened next was….

Clinical…and about what I thought it would be

I should also add here that I’ve led a robust sex life, filled with many, many women, some men, trans people (yes, trans men too) and other more advant garde experiences I needn’t share. The point is, I’ve been around body parts. Including LOTS of vaginas.

I also have a fair understanding about how doctors perform the delicate surgical origamic alchemy transmogrifying a penis into a vagina. It’s a medical miracle, frankly, that it functions at all.

I’ve heard second hand from trans women that their artificial vag works just great, so well these coital doppelgängers work, men can’t tell the difference they say.

Yet never had I heard men describe their experience being in one. This was my first-person opening, a slot inviting my entry, so to speak. So, with relish, I took my shirt off. Then my pants…

Looking back I’d say it was what I thought it might be. Our pairing carried a tone more clinical than amorous. Imagine having sex with someone knowing researchers watched through a two-way mirror you knew was a two-way mirror. Or you had sex with a fellow researcher, while each of you remained mostly in clinical mindsets while fucking…

Going with that clinical vibe, here’s what I observed:

It was not a vagina

As much as a trans woman might say it is, it isn’t. Once inside, even with lube, it felt like a crevice designed with no thought as to the shape of a penis. It felt as though someone opened a hole in a body, but didn’t bother to contour it in a way to make it vaginal-like.

Unlike a vagina, no fleshy folds awaited inside to coddle me to orgasm. Instead it felt like rubbing against exactly what it was: epidermis. Not only was it too shallow and thus most unwelcoming for my length, it also featured insufficient diameter. Even with lube it felt the whole affair would rip my penis skin off, like the skin of a grape, were any intensity applied.

As we both undulated ourselves while in the act, I felt an uncomfortable hardness. No, it wasn’t my erect penis, rather it was a bone… I mused as to whether that was Jane’s pelvic bone, which made being inside her an uncomfortable experience in addition to feeling near flayed.

Also unlike a vagina, there appeared to be two bulbous, fleshy forms just above and inside the “vaginal” canal, only slightly protruding, like a tiny prolapsed anus. It felt exactly like a little penis peeking out of a cave. When Jane came, I felt ejaculate shoot from between those fleshy forms, much like ejaculate from an erect penis.

Speaking of penises, somewhere in my pelvis lies a muscle. When flexed, my erect penis, rises and falls without manual assistance. I don’t know whether a vaginoplasty, the medical term for “turning a penis into a vagina”, includes dismantling that muscle.

In Jane’s case, whenever she moved her hips as though to thrust, I felt the two fleshy forms aforementioned move…not vaginal like, but like a penis. That movement and the discharge gave me the distinct impression that, despite its transformation, and no matter how emasculated it may have become, a penis was, in fact, still present and accounted for, but now literally hood-winked into appearing as a vagina.

Finding my way around the vaginal exterior confounded me as well. It resembled no vagina I’m familiar with. I couldn’t find the clear and pleasantly erect, welcoming clitoris typically shrouded in its fleshy hood near the vaginal apex, even when Jane insisted it was there and vigorously played herself to orgasm.

Despite our mutual arousal the whole time, the experience was less than satisfactory.

I shared my thoughts in detail with Jane afterwards in candid, no uncertain terms. Not surprisingly, she took it in stride, listened intently while taking mental notes. She thanked me for the honesty and said other men she’s been with said it was just like a vagina. I don’t know these men, so I can’t speculate at all about their prior experiences. I only speak from mine.

Which include understanding…

I know trans women don’t get vaginoplasty, vulvoplasty, SRS, or “bottom surgery” – whatever you want to call it – for the pleasure and satisfaction of the men. I presume the main reason some (not all) trans women go to such lengths is so their exterior decor matches their interior identity blueprint. They want to look how they feel…to them, most of all. They want to look in the mirror and see only that which matches how they feel. Many feel strong rejection of their penis.

I get that.

My opinion and experience therefore doesn’t matter as far as trans women go. If a trans woman wants such a procedure, I say whatever makes you happy. Maybe somewhere on the list for such women, a future partner’s experience counts. Maybe not.

Still, the following might be helpful.

One of my former clients, a senior medical professional who runs a major health organization, is familiar with vaginoplasty and vulvoplasty procedures. When I described my experience my client said my observations were “clinically and anatomically spot on”.

“It’s extremely difficult,” my client said. “To create something where there is nothing. Most literature in the field says results are marginal and often dissatisfying” in both form and function. He continued by saying invariably partners don’t experience satisfaction with such procedures and that it is routine that subjects return for repeated modifications.

“This is a major procedure and in my opinion not worth the risk and expense because once done, no matter how unsatisfied, it can’t be reversed. And at this point, the results are not satisfactory,” He added.

We both agreed over the reasons, the stories, which drive some trans women to seek a visage matching their ideals. So my client says such trans women should seek the most capable provider possible, with no concern for expense, so they are happy with the outcome. Even then, he says, they may have unsatisfactory results.

I have a hard time believing guys, especially those with ample vaginal experience, would find such a surrogate satisfactory, let alone pleasurable. My client, with medical experience agrees: “Any man who has had sex with cis-women will know right away what they’ve entered is not a vagina.”

I asked him whether there are skeletal differences between men and women in the pelvic area, explaining my experience with what I thought was Jane’s pelvic bone.

“Indeed,” He said. “The female pelvic arch, where the genitals are, is wider and higher than the male pelvis. So it’s highly likely you were grinding against her “male” pelvic bone while trying to find the right angle inside her “vagina”.”

Registerednursern.com confirmed this:

The subpubic angle is the angle produced by the inferior rami of the pubis, which creates the pubic arch. In women, the subpubic angle will generally be equal to or greater than 80 degrees (obtuse), which is similar to the shape of the letter “L”. In men, the pubic arch is narrower, creating a subpubic angle that is usually less than or equal to 70 degrees (acute), making it a similar angle to an upside down “V.”
https://www.registerednursern.com/male-vs-female-pelvis/

That upside down V was exactly what I bumped up against. Here, look at this drawing for clarification, which also comes form registerednursern.com.

Take note of differences in pelvic arch location and shape between a male pelvis (left) and female pelvis (right). The male pelvis arch is lower AND far more narrower, meaning, you’re going to hit it while fucking. Especially during missionary style. Photo: registerednursern.com.

“We’re just not at the point where that kind of surgery can produce convincing results,” My client said. “And it’s highly unlikely we’ll be able to create from scratch a faithful replica to what it feels like entering a vagina.”

So it goes…

I remember one day, decades ago, accepting a quite young trans man’s invitation to hook up, before Craigslist kiboshed its personals section. When I arrived at a St.Johns apartment, a beautiful, pierced young person with a full face of stubble welcomed me. When he took off his clothes, he had had not a stitch of surgery. Everything “girl” remained untouched. Beauty rivaling Venus stood before me. Venus with a beard and short hair.

As I feast my young eyes upon them, pang of sorrow accompanied my awe. I knew some day this guy would likely go under the knife, irreparably altering what I experienced as a perfect human specimen.

And yet, beauty IS in each beholder’s eye. What must be done must be.

I’m glad I had this experience with Jane, even though what she has holds no candle to a natural vagina. Not in my opinion anyway. Guys: Whatever you call it, this procedure has a long way to go. Natural vaginas, as yet, have no rivals. If a vagina is what you want, stick to cis-women.

I know my experience is but one data point, with a doctor’s endorsement of sorts. Still, I hope what I experienced was not state of the art. If so, it’s not worth the money in my opinion, and the state of the art is…disappointing.

I’m glad I prefer, and get the opportunity to enjoy, penis-equipped women, who are, like me, happy with what they have. If you like what I like, I assure you there are at least as many women out there who want to keep their penis, as there are numbers of us willing to go to bed with and love out loud penis-equipped women. Go for what you want.

Don’t worry about people condemning your preference. Your preference isn’t theirs so their opinion doesn’t matter. Let no one talk you into compromising. Especially rants from trans women. They don’t know you. They aren’t you. You are you, be that.

And for those girls who feel they must get bottom surgery: you go for what you want too. But please don’t let impatience or economics lead you towards regret. What I’ve found is the doppelgänger turned out to be a poorly-conceived and executed facsimile. My advice for men again: if you want a vagina-equipped woman, the cis-variety is the best bet.

November 5, 2024October 6, 2024

What the best relationship looks and feels like

TL;DR: The author argues for trans and trans-attracted people being selfish as the way to create a happy life for themselves. They share a client’s experience in creating happiness to illustrate and support his argument.

Trans women and trans-attracted men: Let’s talk about relationships. There’s a lot to talk about here. Mainly because most of us feel relationships are one of the most, if not the most, important things. After all, we are told, we need relationships to be happy. Everything we do, need and want, it seems, comes through relationships. It is relationships with others that create community. It’s relationships through which we – supposedly – find love. Such relationships also create safety, belonging and a whole lot more.

And, if we’re honest with ourselves, relationships also offer the worst in humanity. Relationships with others are the framework through which some of humanity’s worst traits surface. Greed, conflict, psychopathy and violence all would be meaningless were it not for relationships.

So relationships aren’t all rainbows and butterflies, as the saying goes. We all know this. Just ask Israelis and the Palestinians…relationships can suck. And yet, a lot about what we seem to be – human – seems to compel us toward relationships. Especially relationships with other humans.

There’s a far more satisfying, powerful relationship, however, one through which everything we want comes. It’s so all-encompassing, we literally can’t survive without it. And when we prioritize that relationship above all else, we can live our wildest dreams.

That relationship is what I’m writing about today.

Let’s dive in.

Over all else

The relationship I’m referring to has nothing to do with a god, especially the Christian god or Jesus. But this relationship does tap into the power Christians ascribe to their god.

The trouble with this relationship, however, is it’s as plain as the nose on our faces, and yet, we invariably prioritize other relationships ahead of it. And that out-of-whack prioritization creates all the troubles we have in other relationships. That’s because that which we could enjoy a relationship with wants our undivided attention. When we give it that attention, undivided, everything else in life flows easily.

What relationship could I possibly be referring to?

The relationship with ourselves.

That’s right, there’s no better, more satisfying, more powerful relationship than the relationship with ourselves. The reason why is because everything we see “out there” in the world springs from this relationship. So when we get this relationship where it should be – as our number one priority – then everything “out there” falls in line.

It doesn’t happen in an instant. That would be magic and magic isn’t a thing. But when a person prioritizes themselves over all else, then gradually, all else reflects the improvement inherent with prioritizing a relationship with themselves over all else!

Selfishness: a virtue

That seems like circular logic, but, as I’ve written before, the Universe and All That Is functions on circular logic. All That Is exists to joyfully know itself. The paradox of that is, the more it seeks to know itself, the more of itself it creates. This process makes All That Is – and you and me – eternal. So the more All That Is seeks to know itself, it creates more of itself to know. That’s the glorious circular process often described in ancient teachings.

Now, some might argue that prioritizing one’s self over others leads to selfishness. I completely agree. But I know selfishness is not bad. In fact, it’s the best way to be. Because when one lives that way, they discover everything else, including other people, are able to take care of themselves, leaving the person free to be, enjoy and lavish their life.

Indeed, when we put ourselves first in all things, our life also improves. We stop trying to change things over which we have no control. Letting go of such tasks feels better and better. And when we feel better, the world around us reflects that better mood back to us. It reflects it in ever-improving life experiences.

So, really, we have control of all of our experience. How? Because experience reflects back to us our inner state. And when we prioritize our inner state – our relationship with ourselves – then our life experiences reflect that improved inner state.

We also feel love and other higher emotions more. That’s because when we seek to know ourselves, which is aligned with what the Universe always does, we can’t help but feel the eternal joy that is Universal consciousness.

Put it to the test

That previous section may sound like a bunch of “New Age” hooey. Especially to cynical, jaded trans women. But it’s 100 percent accurate. I can write forever about how powerful what you’re reading is. But nothing compares to evidence produced by your lived experience.

So if you’re having trouble believing this stuff, I suggest you prove to yourself how accurate it is.

So how do we prioritize the relationship with ourselves? It doesn’t seem easy when the entire outside world encourages prioritizing others over ourselves. So it takes practice. It helps to know that a “self” exists in us worthy of our undivided attention. That “self” is the “god in human form” I write about in my other blog. Discovering its existence is easy.

The best way to do that is by testing Positively Focused premises, which are summed up in the phrase “you create your reality through the stories you tell”. As a person tests these premises, they create, or manifest, experiences – people and things – that come in surprising, seemingly coincidental ways.

And when so many of such manifestations happen over and over, the person must acknowledge something other than “coincidence” is at work. That acknowledgement is just like acknowledging there is a self worthy of having a relationship with. Paradoxically, the person testing these premises, once they start seeing things happen, will want more things to happen. As more happens, they also get more bold: they want bigger things to happen.

As their desires grow in scale or magnitude, their trust grows. Their trust in themselves and in this self they are building a relationship with.

Betrayal births bitterness

Growing that relationship brings a necessary letting go of beliefs keeping us all prioritizing others over ourselves. As we let go of them, we might have to face hard-seeming choices. Often it means disregarding what others think of us. Sometimes that looks like cutting off certain people, including family members.

For example, a client recently faced having to cut off her daughter. Her daughter, the epitome of a hellion, raked the client over all kinds of emotional coals throughout their 20-year relationship. Yet, the client believed she had to be there for her daughter, despite the poor treatment, because that’s “what parents should do”.

Little did she know she created the belief “that’s what parents should do” after her parents did something the client considered unconscionable.

Throughout her youth, her parents promised her they’d save for and pay for her college. But when the client was 16, the parents reneged on their promise. Because of this the client felt her parents betrayed her. She bitterly resented their decision and that bitterness festered in her.

An angel disguised as a devil

The betrayal was personal for her. So, when she had a child out of wedlock, something she didn’t want in the first place, the client swore to “make things right” by not doing to her daughter what her parents did to her.

The problem with all of that is the Universe has an amusing way of showing us all how our bogus beliefs aren’t in our best interest. It will give us experiences reflecting our bogus beliefs right back at us. If you think all men interested in trans women are chasers, you’ll only meet that kind of guy, for example. If you believe all trans women are not passable or psycho, you’ll get that. In the client’s case, the Universe gave her a hellion daughter. And boy, did this young person torture her!

Their relationship was making the client miserable. Little did she realize, this daughter was an angel the client sent herself. The angel’s mission: to teach the client she has everything she needs within her, to stop blaming her parents, and to put herself first.

After weeks of learning to prioritize herself through what I offer, the client, after one particularly harrowing conversation with her daughter, decided to do just that. She cut her daughter off and the relief she felt was immediate. With each passing day, her relief grew.

Doubling down

Thirty days in, she was feeling great. But then, her old created reality, born of her belief “that’s what parents should do” reasserted itself. Her daughter reached out and kept reaching out. She wanted to “fix” their relationship. The client couldn’t resist. She felt pulled, by her belief, to reconnect. Which is what she did.

This kind of thing typically happens. A client will have an epiphany making their life much better. But then, old belief momentum draws them back into their old way of being, the being they left behind. Usually, when that happens, it shows the client why they would have been better off not letting that happen.

But there’s no way clients can get it wrong. For these kinds of “set backs” actually amplify their commitment to put themselves first. Which is exactly what happened with this client.

The reconnection was horrible. Nothing got “fixed”. And it reminded the client what had been absent for 30 days. It also put those past 30 days of relief, peace and ease in proper perspective. She wanted more of that. So she doubled down on cutting her daughter off.

The way to relief

Two weeks after her recommitment her husband said something remarkable over dinner.

“You seem really happy,” he told her. The client agreed, she did feel happy, happier than she had in decades. The husband credited that return to happiness to his wife cutting her daughter off. But the client knew it was primarily because she was putting herself first and that caused her to make a choice she otherwise would not have been able to do.

A week later, her husband once again noticed.

“It’s so good seeing you so happy,” he said. The client agreed. She said she was returning to the self she knew before her daughter “happened”.

Now, it’s not that the client doesn’t love her daughter. She loves her and wants the best for her. But she realizes that, to be happy, she must put herself first. And when she does that, she thrives. And as she thrives, eventually, her daughter will too. That must happen because the client’s experience and everything in it, including her daughter, reflects back to her, her inner state. Before, her daughter reflected the client’s inner turmoil. Turmoil born of expecting her parents to have put her first, when, obviously, they could not have.

Their decision not to pay for their child’s college was the right thing: they had to put themselves first. The client was making them wrong for doing what they knew was right. And so, the Universe, through her daughter, was showing the client the way to relief.

Putting ourselves first is the best way to personal happiness. (Photo by Lesly Juarez on Unsplash)

It’s all choice

And that’s the thing about realizing what comes from putting ourselves first. We realize no one is responsible for our happiness but us. And, no one can make us happy but us. Any other happiness source is fleeting, capricious and fickle. As such, such happiness sources are not in our best interest to put before the one relationship that really matters.

Meanwhile, as I mentioned before, everything in our experience improves when we do this. And so, the client’s daughter’s life must also improve, as she learns what her mother did: That she must put herself first and stop relying on her mother for her happiness…or anything else, including tuition, food and rent.

Relationships are not about people coming together, planning together, working out problems, coming up with solutions together, compromising, and investing in and extracting from each other what they need, all while claiming to love one another. Rather, each person is 100 percent responsible as a creator for creating the best version of their life.

When they do that, the whole world improves, but only for that person. In the meantime, those choosing a different life way fade out of that person’s experience. Then those reflecting the person’s new choice show up as reflections of that choice made.

This explains why so much variety in life experience exists. People are choosing, either deliberately or not, then the world reflects back to them the nature of that choice.

It’s all about unconditional love

This means, first cultivating a strong relationship with one’s self is paramount. When that happens, life reflects back to the person only the best things in life, because that’s just what happens when one puts themselves first.

Then, and only then, can a person create better versions of life AND better versions of people in their lives. They create versions of people by coming into the presence of another with their relationship with themselves so secure, that that other person has no choice but to reflect back to the creator a version of them matching what’s going on in the creator.

And when the creator achieves that, sees the person exhibiting the version of themselves the creator envisioned, and then revels in that, the manifestation of evidence of their creation, then that person being created feels that reveling as unconditional love for them. And that changes that person irreparably.

That’s why selfishness is so important. It can literally change human relationships. It does that through love, which is what ourselves have in abundance for us.

And that’s how we can influence others in the best way. “Influence” happens whether we know we’re doing it or not. Unfortunately, for most of us, we’re using that influence by recreating versions of people we don’t like, by complaining about their behavior, wishing they were someone that they’re not, or complaining in general.

Meanwhile the one relationship that empowers us to have a different experience of all we experience awaits us. That relationship is all unconditional love. And when we prioritize that relationship, we become that: Unconditional love.

October 29, 2024September 29, 2024

This Trans-Attracted Man’s Life Gets Better And Better

TL;DR: The author shares the story of a trans-attracted man who finds bliss in his discovery that his reality comes from stories he tells.

Every time a client texts me with evidence their life is getting better, I delight in the receipt. That’s because I know when they send me such messages, they’re having the time of their lives. It’s also delightful because their improved life amplifies my knowing in this “you create your reality by the stories you tell” business, aka (by some) as “Wishful Thinking”. LOL.

When some people use that “Wishful Thinking” moniker, they’re being pejorative. They don’t believe this “you create your reality by the stories you tell” business is real. They believe that because this “you create your reality by the stories you tell” business is working for them. It’s just reflecting back to them the manifestation of their belief: that this “you create your reality by the stories you tell” business doesn’t work, or it’s pseudoscience or new age quackery.

The jokes on them though because this “you create your reality by the stories you tell” business is working, just like it does for me and all my clients. I love that!

But I love more when clients text me with their wonder. That’s what I’m writing about today.

Beliefs defending themselves

This past week a trans-attracted client finds himself as wonder-filled as I am. Except, he’s finding himself so dumbfounded by his manifestation results, he sometimes slips into disbelief.

I love when that happens too because it means that client finds himself in a Belief Confrontation. A Belief Confrontation is when All That Is shows us something at odds with our beliefs. When that happens, the juxtaposition of our belief, and the reality we’re experiencing at that moment, is so jarring, our belief “defends” itself.

Our belief doesn’t put up its dukes and gets into a fist-fight with the reality. It’s not human after all. But the energy and momentum comprising our belief is strong. And that strong momentum, when confronted with another strong momentum of energy or vibration, experiences a kind of polarity shift. Kind of like when you try put two magnets together and they repulse one another.

When that polarity shift happens in a human, the human feels an emotion. Typically the emotion is negative. That negative emotion comes on instantaneously and can feel so strong it can compel the human into a psychologically defensive stance. They’ll resist that which doesn’t accord with their beliefs. Or they might willfully ignore it.

Our civilization is full of examples illustrating this process underway. And it’s underway all the time, everywhere.

It really works

After clients produce evidence that “you create your reality by the stories you tell” is accurate, force accompanying Belief Confrontations ease, allowing the client to feel the force without it taking them over. That’s what happened with this client. He deserves some praise because he’s significantly soothed his Belief Confrontations around the fact that he’s in the driver’s seat of his life, no one else, and that he can create any life he wants.

So when he texted me, he briefly expressed some disbelief, but followed that up with a string of evidence showing this “you create your reality by the stories you tell” business works. And that balance – between the brief disbelief and the litany of evidence – amplified within him his growing momentum aligning with the belief “this ‘you create your reality by the stories you tell’ business really works!”

Here’s what he texted me:

A trans-attracted client amplifying his belief in this “you create your reality by the stories you tell” business by sharing his powerful results.

There’s no evidence proving this “you create your reality by the stories you tell” business doesn’t work. Again, even for those who think it doesn’t work, it’s working. It’s working by showing those people a reality in which the belief “this ‘you create your reality by the stories you tell’ business doesn’t work” doesn’t work!

But for those willing to soften that belief, those people’s worlds will increasingly show them that this “you create your reality by the stories you tell” business does work. And as that evidence grows, the person will consciously come into their own power. The power they knew they had when they first incarnated as human.

The Charmed Life

We all came here in our human experiences to enjoy our creative power. That includes trans people. We all are incipient gods becoming more in a structure we have created as a part of the consciousness of All That Is. That sure sounds like a circular argument. But that’s only because All That Is is circular in its awareness and purpose.

All That Is is all about one thing: knowing itself through expanding its awareness of itself. That’s its purpose. And it joyfully prosecutes that purpose. We are physical expressions of All That Is seeking to expand its self-awareness. As such, we too can joyfully create our experiences as we move through our human lives.

We don’t have a choice about the expansion or the experience. But we do have a choice in how that experience happens, what’s included in it, what’s not, and how much we enjoy that experience. That’s our innate gift we give ourselves.

And when we choose to deliberately create experiences which bring us joy, then that experience of human life just gets better and better. Just as my clients are seeing in their lives. And as I’m seeing in mine. It’s the Charmed Life. And it’s available to everyone. Even trans people.

October 15, 2024September 17, 2024

Girls: Why The Fuck Do We Tuck?

TL;DR: This is a guest story written by Kari and published with her permission. Kari shares a story in which she revolutionized a lot of feelings about her body, including feelings about her penis. Along the way, she realized many toxic beliefs she – and many trans women – hold. She then encourages a reaching for greater, more empowering freedom.

I recently found myself at the intersection of two converging trajectories or evolutions and while I can see the outcome approaching fast, I don’t know how I feel about it.

Hold onto your butts, we’re going in….

The first evolution was my discovery of dresses last summer.

I had bought a few dresses over the five years I have been out, but never really worn them. Until last summer, that is.

Some of these dresses were sleeveless and that’s where the problem first appeared.

Comfort in my skin

I had spent the first part of summer wearing short sleeve shirts and the result was a set of very pasty shoulders and tanned forearms.

I looked like a farmer…in a bad way:

You say Farmer Tan, I say Ombré Skin Art

So this summer I decided to even out that tan by spending a few minutes each day in the sun in my bikini. The road to degeneracy is, however, paved with good intentions. Changing into a bikini and then back into clothes mid morning started becoming tiresome. So I started just stripping down to my panties and lying in the sun on our private balcony. This resulted in a nice light tan across my entire body except my butt which was extremely pale.

And that’s how I ended up naked, on the balcony in the sun, daily.

This naked sunbathing made me consider my body and how I felt about myself. The act of slowing down and being quiet outside did make me think that naturists are on to something and I am way more comfortable with myself now.

Ladies, if you ever feel unattractive, spend 15 minutes on your back and 15 minutes on your tummy in the sun daily. By the end of summer you will be more comfortable in your skin. There is just something about having sunshine and a light breeze on your naked skin that improves your confidence. At least it did for me.

And next summer I may join a naturist group.

Okay, so I hope y’all into TMI, because we are about to overshare.

“My filly blunt”

The other evolution is a little complicated. Transition is a slow evolutionary process. During this summer, perhaps triggered in part by my nude sunbathing or other factors, my sexuality, or rather my sexual expression, started to surface again.

Let me explain.

When switching your governing hormone your sexuality does some strange stuff. Since starting HRT my entire understanding of my own sexuality and how I express it has been completely rewritten. There was a period, shortly after I started HRT, where I almost completely lost interest in anything sexual. Then about two years ago a slow process of re-emergence started.

Slowly the lights have been coming on again so to speak.

When this happened I noted a shift in who I was attracted to, how I was attracted to them and how I thought about and experienced sex.

I also started to engage with my sexuality and its expression in new ways. An example of this is that I now find pleasure in erotic images of myself. I enjoy sharing erotic but tasteful artistic pictures with my partner. To be blunt, I started sending artsy dick-pics to my partner.

Censorship is the antithesis of free speech and must be resisted in all its manifold forms, specifically this form that deprives the viewer of the majestic image that has been redacted.

Oh and if you’re wondering, judging by the response, dick-pics are just one more thing women just do better than men.

Okay, enough waffling about sunbathing and erotic art, this isn’t an art blog or a sunlight therapy woo page on Facebook. This is a transsexual blog and I know you’re here for the same reasons Republicans and Gender Criticals go to Pornhub.

You’re here for the girl-dick.

So let’s talk about this filly’s blunt.

Exploring my nudity

I can’t speak for men but judging by the quality of the examples of the masculine dick-pics I have seen, men don’t think about their genitals in the same way women do. I think for men a picture of their genitals is a visual cv for their sexual qualities.

They are functional images. Its this big, its this long and its shaped in this manner which will have this effect on you when I use it in these ways. Lighting, context, focus and composition are all lost in the singular pursuit of graphic exposure. The male dick-pic is the construction drawing of nude art.

Before transition I didn’t understand the dick-pic. I assumed it was a matter of dysphoria. Showing nudes of myself that featured my penis just felt uncomfortable and ugly.

I hated it.

However, this summer I decided to explore the art of nude self portraits. I had seen a particular content creator on Instagram who specifically makes erotic self portraits via photography and I like her stuff, so I decided to try it myself.

Over the last few months, whenever I have been inspired, I have taken photos of myself in various states of undress.

“Proudly displaying their junk”

One of the things I noted very quickly was that I didn’t have that alien feeling when genitals were visibly in the images, either explicitly or implied by “the bulge”. In fact, I started to see the beauty in these photos. I didn’t see a person struggling with discordant genitals or pathetically resigned to the misery of not being able to do anything about her penis.

I legitimately saw a naked woman with a beautiful dick.

Of course the question that raised itself to me was, did I find this girl-dick beautiful because its mine and attached to me or was it all girl-dicks that had suddenly become beautiful?

My questions led me to the Trans-HiveMind.

I went back to Tumblr.

And on Tumblr I found a lot of girl-dick.

I found trans women proudly displaying their junk and trans women not so proudly displaying their junk with captions asking “would you still date me if you knew about my dick?”

Looking at these images I noted the “would you date a trans woman” posts are as tragic as those Only Fans Milfs on Insta who aim their content at middle-aged dude’s crotches.

Ladies, men don’t need begging.

Why the Fuck do we Tuck?

The posts made by trans women who are clearly comfortable with their genitals on the other hand are beautiful. In fact they are as beautiful as images of women with vaginas.

However, this is not an article to sing the praises of and promote the beauty of girl-dick.

I have far more sinister motives than that and we already know girl-dick is gorgeous.

What I am saying is girl-dick is no less desirable or beautiful or feminine than girl-vagina and when we accept this simple truth, we must ask: Why the Fuck do we Tuck?

We don’t tuck because our genitals are ugly.

We don’t tuck because it’s comfortable.

We don’t even tuck because we suffer dysphoria.

Rock it unapologetically

We tuck because we have been told by heteronormative society that women have vaginas and if your crotch isn’t a smooth, flat front then you are a man.

We have internalized the idea that we cannot be beautiful women when we have a little extra in our undies. We believe men see us, trans women, as second class because we don’t have a genital configuration that ignorance and regressive societal rules have mandated as the gold standard.

Today’s gaff is, for trans women, no different from last century’s whale boned corset for cis women. We don’t need to squeeze our organs into new positions and uncomfortable contortions to be beautiful. We don’t have to mould ourselves to the society’s regressive ideas to be beautiful.

We simply need to rock that bulge unapologetically and one day, society will catch up.

One day, a trans woman is going to walk down the catwalk at Paris Fashion week untucked and no one is going to bat an eye about the girl-dick.

Well, maybe I do know how I feel about the outcome of that intersection now.

Maybe I want to say: Vive le pénis féminin!

September 24, 2024September 23, 2024

Prominent Republican: “I’m a perv”

TL;DR: The author shares their enthusiasm for the revelation that a prominent Republican is a “Chaser”. They then describe how this is a positive sign, a sign that things are improving for transgender people.

Back in February I wrote a post about how conservative populations include some of the most trans-attracted people despite that population’s anti-trans rhetoric. It was a story I enjoyed writing, mainly because evidence supporting the story was so compelling. I also wrote about how blatant hypocrisy among conservative transphobes was, in fact, fueling momentum for the “future inclusion of trans people”.

Now, this past week, life served a perfect example of that hypocrisy…on steroids.

Last week, CNN outed prominent republican and Trump darling Lieutenant Governor Mark Robinson as a hypocrite, a self-proclaimed “Black Nazi” and more. But what really made him news to this blog is that the story reveals extensive evidence of Robinson being an avid trans-porn consumer, making him a trans-attracted, queer. In other words…his own words… “a perv…”

His history is clear

Now, trans-attraction isn’t a bad thing. There are probably hundreds of thousands of men who are trans-attracted. I write about this all the time on this blog from a positive perspective. I’ve even defined an evolutionary process trans-attracted men move through as they come to accept what they are.

Robinson is at the “chaser” stage of this process. He had been unwilling to admit his attraction publicly. Now that the news is out against his will, he’s denying it vehemently. That makes sense. Robinson vilifies trans people and gay people as part of his far right political platform. The record is clear on Robinson’s thoughts about trans and gay people.

Indeed, his hypocrisy contributes to what I described in my post back in February. It:

“…creates a lot of unnecessary nail-biting and hand wringing. It also creates a lot of wasted time and expense. Not to mention anxiety and self-loathing among those I love. After all, unless one is positively focused, loving oneself is really hard in today’s society. Especially when swaths of the population hate what you are…”

“…supports the unseemly double-standard Republicans hold when it comes to trans people: they secretly love what they publicly hate.”

This anecdotal, yet factual evidence from Robinson’s past adds to the body of evidence showing that a lot of conservatives are also trans-attracted or even queer themselves. Even while they attack people in our community.

With Robinson’s outing, his political career might be losing steam. For now, the GOP-er refuses to embrace his past. How could he? It already might be career-ending. Trump, for example, already delisted him from his next presidential rally according to news reports.

The world is getting better

As ugly as his views are, we can see this news from an empowering, positive perspective. One is we once again have our suspicions confirmed: many of those trying to restrict trans freedoms are, in fact, trans-attracted and may themselves be trans or at least queer. Second, we can see much of their rhetoric reflects a strong momentum of self-denial and even self-loathing. I mean, come on! A black man supporting a return to the days of slavery????

So these people are acting out of a profound lack of self-acceptance. That’s worthy of our compassion. Not anger.

Third, there are people out in the world working to make trans lives freer, safer and more prosperous. Some of those people don’t know consciously that that’s what they’re doing. But they do the work anyway. Thank goodness too for the internet archive, which, apparently CNN used to verify much of what they found about Robinson.

The world is getting better for trans people. I’ve written this so many times. Revelations about Robinson strike nerves for sure. But they also add to the many examples showing trans-phobes for what they actually are. Often they’re legitimate chasers, so consumed in self-hate that they project their hate onto the very people they secretly love.

The more of these stories come out, the better life gets for trans people. The more stories about trans people that get made, the better life gets for trans people. And as more men come out proudly loving trans women, the better the world gets too. So much is happening making the world better for trans women.

So let’s thank Robinson. He’s not doing it consciously. But as his past acts catch up with him and hopefully ruin his career, they’re also making the world better.