Yes, it’s true: some transgender women are as complicit in perpetuating toxic masculinity as men. But those transgender women doing it aren’t aware they’re doing it.
Frankly, we’re not even sure the men are aware. But that’s another story.
We’ve offered many times a unique perspective on cis-trans dynamics – ways both parties in seeking partners behave – which perpetuate toxic masculinity.
Recently we discussed this from the trans-attracted male’s perspective. No doubt, these men sometimes do their part to perpetuate toxic masculine attitudes and behaviors. Particularly the “alpha male” variety – those men some transgender women desire most.
That post was a promo for our recently-released YouTube and Podcast episode. We featured Tommy Matt, an activist in many areas and a strong proponent for transgender rights. Particularly transgender women and transgender women of color.
Tommy also is a self-declared, trans-attracted man.
Tommy speaks definitively, clearly describing the role toxic masculinity plays in cis-trans relationships and potential relationships. While Tommy focuses on the men, Remy, our show co-host, does an outstanding job highlighting transgender women’s role in perpetuating toxic masculinity saying “…it takes two. Every relationship is a dance between two people’s stories.”
The conversation struck a chord for one transgender female viewer who felt strongly enough to share her opinion. It’s powerful enough to repeat here:
“…trans women are sometimes just as guilty as cis men of perpetuating toxic standards of masculinity. But, because gender is a construct and because it’s how we communicate beyond words, toxically masculine men are a cheap way to highlight (if not affirm) a trans woman’s femininity. In other words, a cis man’s perhaps extreme or exaggerated concept of his own masculinity can be attractive, soothing, and/or satisfying to an albeit insecure trans woman because she believes she looks even more feminine around him than she does around a cis man generally perceived as less masculine. I think this phenomenon exists between insecure cis folk too. But, consider that that insecurity is pronounced for those who suffer from gender dysphoria.”
There’s a lot of truth to be explored in this.
Watch the entire interview: