Transgender, Trans-Attracted…And…Over 50

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Once when visiting The Philippines, I spied a man –– probably in his sixties –– who was walking hand-in-hand with a woman. Not only was this woman less than half his size (and a quarter his girth), she was clearly a quarter his age.

Now I don’t have any issue with people dating whoever they want. That’s not the point.

The point is, while some transgender women may think all trans-attracted men are looking for relationships with young transgender women –– significantly younger –– there are trans-attracted and transamorous men out there who would prefer a transgender woman from the same generation.

And, guys, there are transgender women of mature age looking for guys their age too.

I know for sure this is the case, because both groups are writing me emails.

And while it’s probably ego-boosting, guys, to think about being with a very young transgender woman for the sex appeal perhaps, or the beauty maybe, listen up.  A long term, meaningful relationship that isn’t based on some kind of unstated, commercial exchange, is more likely with someone who has some life experience. Someone with common beliefs, and, likely, common desires.

In other words: someone whose stories match yours.

It’s highly unlikely a 58 year old’s and a 20 year old’s stories are going to match.

Unless, again, a commercial exchange is the story bringing two together. After all, there are plenty of older men out there willing to pay for the company of a younger woman. Including a transgender woman.

Happens all the time, right?

 

I’ve commented on social media accounts featuring transgender women asking moderators how come they don’t feature older transgender women.

I haven’t got a response from any of them.

hearts

I speculate mature, senior transgender women are likely too busy living their lives to post as regularly as young ones do on social media. Perhaps young transgender women who are prominent on social media find telling their stories on social media as natural. About as natural as, say a senior transgender woman sharing her stories in person.

Maybe.

Whatever the case, middle-age and senior transgender women’s and trans-attracted men’s relative absence online may cause these groups to think their matches aren’t out there, when, actually, there are lots of women in that age range. And guys too.

Interestingly, research by UCLA’s Williams Institute found that there are almost as many elderly transgender people as young. The study estimated that 0.5% (or one in every 200) of Americans aged 65 or over identified as transgender, compared to 0.7% among 13- to 24-year-olds.

So there are bound to be transgender women of all ages in your town.

Same goes with trans-attracted/transamorous men.

And remember, guys (and gals), you only need one.

It’s not surprising older men (and many older transgender women) who write us ask “is there anyone out there for me?”

That’s why we don’t encourage online dating, cruising social media or trying to find your partner anywhere other than in your hometown. Or at least nearby. But always in person. Because online dating can be brutal to one’s positive stories.

CNN recently featured a story about a person who is photographing and chronicling the joys and struggles of senior-age transgender people (yes transgender men as well). I loved stumbling onto this article because it confirmed for me there are transgender people of all ages out there.

You don’t have to settle. You can have what you want.

6 thoughts on “Transgender, Trans-Attracted…And…Over 50

  1. Sorry, but the reality is trans woman are only a sexual fantasy for most men. The media has Also created the problem because they sexualize trans woman from an early age. Just look at Dragqueen story time and the promotion of children not old enough to drive, being feminized – usually in an erotic or “over the top” way. Being trans female seems to be associated with being a perfect, georgous woman that would make any cis woman feel “ugly”. Rarely do we see the TRUE difficulties in “passing” and the challenge to meet up with internet porn, photoshopped phots and that “perfect” photo that makes her look fantastic.

    And the “rich girl”, candy girl, and Hollywood trans woman have probably spend $50, 000 in plastic surgery, implants, vocal work etc. If you think all mature woman look as flawless as Katlin Jenner, you have been misled. The fact is, most trans woman, especially mature trans woman struggle and work hard to look passable. The internet and Media has turned being trans into some perfect , flawless beauty queen fantasy. What we often are is slightly masculine looking men who sound like men. If you have $ 60, 000 to donate to me to get implants, new teeth veneers, hair replacement for my thin, masculine hairline, liposuction , lip and butt implants , etc etc etc..then MAYBE you can get the kind on non sexualize relationship the public is being led to beige is the “norm”.

    And as someone who knows many pre-op trans woman in relationships dropped by their boyfriends after their bottom surgery, ask yourself this; why wouldn’t he rather be with a Woman that looks, feels and reacts like a nature female? Your special attraction has been eliminated and your now in competion with many many more biologically correct woman.

    The trans woman rave in pop culture is a manufactured fad. All the young trans kids will discover, after the attention and party is over, after they start to,age like every other woman, and after they are now faced with double the challenges of aging woman- that of your male genetics, and that your an aging woman…well, there is going to be a lot of pain, heartbreak and depression in the future Trans community.

    So….Plan on a relationship NOT because your trans and a fad, not because you have a special appendage “situation”, not because you will be someone’s storybook wife , but ONLY because to remain male is painful To YOU ONLY and your prepared to live a lonely life to do it . Yes, there are exceptions. But make sure he introduces you to his family and friends before you “open the store”. If he has excuses, it’s for the kink and sex…and that ok too…just don’t expect a marriage proposal anytime soon.

    I would date and marry a trans woman, ( as a trans woman or a man) but I’d understand and love the person. As a trans woman who lives as male because I realize how much money it takes to look like the public and media’s view of a trans woman, I would suggest you stop selling a relationship as “trans” and simply selll yourself as a male cross dresser- that way there is no disappointment, no fantasy, no pretending- and if you find a mate who accepts that,, then even better, as a transitioned woman…oh, amd if your looking for an in emend project to make your “media -internet” version of a hot, mature pre-op trans woman- I’m your girl and willing to relocate!

    1. You’re right Kimmie about one thing: the reality IS that trans women are only a sexual fantasy for most men.

      But that reality is only “true” for trans women and other people who believe that. Like I mentioned in my last reply to your comment on our Alex Jones post, you might want to do some more reading about what we talk about at The Transamorous Network.

      There are plenty of trans women for whom men do NOT feel that way about trans women. Those women don’t need to indulge in the “reality” you’re talking about. They’ve got the reality they want. 🤷🏽‍♂️

      The media doesn’t create problems. They talk about problems people create. What people? Well, every person creates their own reality, so every person creates their own problems….So the media is not creating problems. Trans women (and trans attracted men) are creating the problems. Their own problems.

      I don’t know what “Dragqueen story time” is. So I won’t comment on that. But I will say, again, that you’re right. Being a trans female IS associated with ” being a perfect, georgous woman that would make any cis woman feel “ugly”.”

      But only for trans women who believe that. In other words, only trans women who tell that story have that experience.

      I don’t know what your point is about the “TRUE difficulties”. For some trans women there are no “difficulties”. So “difficulties” is a subjective experience. As all experience is.

      You seem to be focused on the appearance aspects of being trans. Why is that? Passability has nothing to do with being happy. Unless a person makes passability equal to being happy. If they do, then they’re in trouble. Because for that person, being passable will never be achieved. And so you see what you see in the world: many women spending so much on their physical appearance.

      That’s not necessary to be happy. A trans woman can be happy and not be passable.

      You write: “What we often are is slightly masculine looking men who sound like men. If you have $ 60, 000 to donate to me to get implants, new teeth veneers, hair replacement for my thin, masculine hairline, liposuction , lip and butt implants , etc etc etc..then MAYBE you can get the kind on non sexualize relationship the public is being led to beige is the “norm”.”

      There are a lot of stories you’re telling that are limiting your life experience. Many of them are expressed throughout your comments (both about our Alex Jones post, and about this post you’re commenting on). I understand why a lot of trans women share frustrations you’re expressing here.

      But really Kimmie, those frustrations don’t have to be both for you and for other trans women (and trans-attracted men). You can be happy. And when you get happy consistently enough, hell, many of the frustrations you’re expressing here take care of themselves. You’ll find your self having a happy life. With everything in it you want and none of what you don’t want.

      It sounds like you’re experiencing a lot of what you’re not wanting, all perpetrated at the hands of “other people”: men, the media, other trans women, society…I hear the anger…which is what happens when powerlessness boils over. It gets projected as anger towards others you may feel are responsible for your experience.

      I was just talking this morning with a trans-attracted man who is doing the exact same thing you are doing. He’s blaming trans women for his sorry life experience. Meanwhile, all that complaining just perpetrates the life experience he’s complaining about.

      You’re doing the same thing.

      You did ask a question, so I’ll answer it directly. Although you may not (probably won’t) like the answer:

      You asked: why would a man drop a trans woman after she gets bottom surgery?

      The answer is because he wasn’t honest up front about the kind of trans woman he wanted. He wasn’t willing to wait until he got what he wanted. So he compromised. And when the trans woman he was with lived her life experience the way she wanted to, she became something he doesn’t want. So he left.

      That should be no surprise. Had the guy been honest with what he wants (to himself and others) that wouldn’t have happened. But the trans woman isn’t off the hook either. She had a story going on too. One that had her meet and get into a relationship with someone who matches those stories.

      So that’s why. It’s not because she (or you) are “in competition” with “many more biologically correct [women]”. No one is in competition for anything. You create your OWN reality. No one creates it for you.

      You’ve written here a lot of complaints about life. They are your complaints. About YOUR life. Although you’re talking about others experiences, you’re really venting your frustrations about you.

      And, like with the guy I talked with today, the more you repeat these stories, the more bitter, angry or frustrated you’re going to become….

      But there’s a way out of that Kimmie. You can be happy. No matter what. And have the life you want. But not if you keep telling the same stories you’re currently telling.

  2. I’ve been single for 13 years just can’t find a man that wants to be with me due to being a trans woman

    1. Hey Sarah. This is Perry. I’ve heart this story often. It can be frustrating to end up with bupkis after 13 years. But I assure you, with just a little shifting in the stories you are telling yourself about this situation, you can find a man who wants to be with you so fast, it will make your head spin.

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