TLDR: The author shares how a client dramatically changed as a result of the practice they advocate. Doing so, the client found satisfying relationship success with a transgender woman, thereby supporting the author’s assertion that everyone creates their reality. Including their relationship reality.
Some transgender women struggle finding a male partner. So much so they become bitter about men. Trans-attracted men struggle too. They often become bitter as well in their search for a transgender partner. Then they wallow in that, fuming silently and alone.
But not all such men struggle. Not all transgender women struggle either. Some in both parties find one another. That’s what happened with a transamorous client over the last three weeks. It was a longer story than that; one in which he came to accept himself and his desires. Doing so, he found happiness in his heart.
When that happened his external reality had to reflect that inner state. Which is exactly what we promise here at The Transamorous Network. Today he’s finding himself in a relationship with a transgender woman perfectly matching what he’s putting out: happiness, clarity and adventure.
That’s what this story today is about. It’s about his trajectory; the trajectory that had him finding a perfect match in a trans woman of his dreams. Let’s dive in!
The tyranny of Christian dogma
This guy, who I’ll call David suffered mightily because of his trans-attraction. That’s because he was also devoutly Christian. David knew as a child that something was different with him sexual orientation-wise. Christianity, however, turned that “something was different” into “you’re going to hell”. So David struggled with that awareness for many decades. Mostly because he bought into the strong momentum of belief propping up Christianity.
What’s ironic is, David inherently knew something was wrong. Not wrong about him, though. He knew something was wrong with Christian dogma. But his fear of going to hell was so strong, so real for him, he couldn’t check in with his Broader Perspective knowing that Christianity is full of distortions. Distortions that literally kill people.
So, this confounding confusion between his knowing and his fear had him bury deeper and deeper his authentic self. That’s why he ended up marrying a cisgender woman. That’s why that marriage fell apart. It’s also why, for many years, David was profoundly unhappy. Unhappy with himself. Unhappy with his job and unhappy with relationships, or, rather, the lack of them.
All this time, his authentic self eked out. He cross-dressed in private. He enjoyed “toy parties” wherein he engaged in highly-pleasurable solo ass-play. Right on the heels of that wholesome enjoyment, however, always rose the ugly heads of guilt and shame. Guilt and shame born from bogus Christian beliefs.
The Universe gives us what we’re ready for
When David came to The Transamorous Network for relief four years ago, he was profoundly troubled. So much of his life was unsatisfying. But he knew by then he couldn’t deny his trans-attraction. So he “leaned in” to it through the practice we offer.
It took four full years before David was willing to fully let go of what held him back: adherence Christian dogma. It can be hard letting go of that. Especially when, like David, you’re surrounded by people who amplify those beliefs. But last year, a dam broke in David’s consciousness. Through that break came the flood of his authenticity.
It seems like it happened over night. In two or three weeks, he went from being hesitant, to being fully committed to his authentic self. In this time he “came out” to his mom, to close friends and coworkers. He shared photos on his dating profile of him wearing women’s clothes. And he accompanied those photos with a self description acknowledging who he really is. What’s more, it also included what he really wanted, in all its glory.
“Since the universe will give me everything I want,” David said in one session. “I might as well put it out there.”
I whole heartedly agreed.
The Universe constantly gives us what we’re ready for. Not what we want. If we’re not ready for what we want, if we’re resisting it, or are afraid of it, the Universe will give us “manifestations” reflecting that resistance and fear back to us. That’s what’s happening when trans women keep meeting chasers, or violence. It’s hard to accept, but everyone creates their reality and everything in it. No exceptions.
David was realizing this. That’s why, in letting go, he found freedom and fun.
Prefect reflections
Almost immediately after embracing his authenticity — remember, this took a long time, a duration that culminated in a peak release spanning two or three weeks — David connected with three really choice trans women. They all were perfect matches, of course. The people you meet always are. So it didn’t surprise David that two of them showed him beliefs he needed to adjust. Still, those two women were pretty choice women. But the third…OMG!
The third, who I’ll call Shonda, met many of David’s criteria. She also had things about her he didn’t necessarily enjoy. For example, she’s in the middle of a significant career change since COVID disrupted what she was doing before. As such, she’s emanating energy that she’d like a partner who can provide a financial foundation for her. David has that kind of financial stability.
But he also has struggled with people asking him for money…and he giving it to them…particularly, his family members, all of whom aren’t as financially secure as he is and rely on him to bail them out when they get into financial trouble. David helps them willingly. He feels he should. They’re family after all.
But he also hates that they come to him as their first option and that they come so frequently. He says they act entitled to his money. And they don’t seem willing to do anything to change circumstances keeping them coming with their hands out.
Many relationships aren’t meant to last
Everyone we meet is a perfect match to what we’re putting out. This can be fun and adventurous to know. But when we don’t know this, meeting people, especially potential partners, can be very frustrating.
Shonda and her financial/career situation reflected back to David the exact beliefs he has about money. In that reflection, she offers him a chance to clean up those beliefs, and in so doing, if he wants, meet someone better financially situated.
This shows why every encounter with another is a stepping stone to something better. People we meet aren’t necessarily The One. They are the one we’re supposed to meet at that time. Not because they’re The One, but because they show us something we want to know about ourselves.
This is why I don’t encourage people immediately jump into relationships with the first person they attract, or even the second, third, fourth or fifth. It’s much better to use those encounters for fine tuning. Don’t do that and in a short time you’ll see why such people make lousy lovers: they weren’t meant to be your lover.
No wonder so many relationships don’t last. They’re not meant to.
The great thing with David is, he’s clear about all this now.
Missing out on a lot of fun
Because he’s clear, he sees a lot of ways Shonda serves him by reflecting back to him beliefs working against his relationship happiness. I won’t go into all of them, but suffice it to say, David is getting it.
Which is why instead of feeling “head over heels” for his relationship success, the word he kept using was “sober”. He’s “sober” about what he’s attracted. He’s aware what’s happening in this relationship and isn’t allowing superficial things – such as how pretty Shonda is – to cloud his clarity.
Clarity is such a good thing.
If more people can find what David has, relationship journeys could be far more fun than they are. But nearly everyone is so fixated on getting that partner they want, they’re suffering the whole way. Then they’re settling for something they don’t want. Or they compromise and get love, while being wistful for what they gave up…because they didn’t believe it was possible.
One of my mentors puts it plain:
When we’re not having fun, we miss out on a lot. When we think we can’t have what we want, we miss out on that too. David found a different approach. And because of that, he’s enjoying a different experience.
It’s hard to find a better frequency
There’s so much fun out in the world. Many people have been trained though to focus only on what’s “going wrong”. That’s no fun. And, that focus will only attract more of that into one’s life experience.
The opposite is true too. If a person focuses only on good things happening, that focus will attract more of that into life experience. Before long, nothing but good is happening. How can you not find happiness with a life like that?
That’s what I’ve found; so much good stuff happening and my life filled with happiness. My clients are finding it too. These days, more cisgender people are becoming clients. The vast majority of my clients are now cisgender.
I think that’s because the trans community generally wallows so strongly in negative beliefs they can’t find the frequency of what I offer. That’s ok. We’re all eternal. Living one life in chronic negative focus is insignificant compared to eternal existence that has a basis in joy.
But if you’re wanting something different than the struggles trans-attracted men and trans women so often experience, I suggest you contact me, before all my available slots fill up.