The best way to a life where everything someone wants happens easily – including lasting love – involves that person realizing they are eternal. Transgender and trans-attracted people especially benefit from this realization. That’s because those two groups come into the world expressing extra-special connections to their eternal natures.
So when I received a question from The Transamorous Network’s sister website, I thought I’d share my response here too.
Everyone’s eternal
The question actually came in three parts:
How do you know a person never dies? Is the soul really eternal? How can you prove this?
It’s so funny so few take the question seriously, including transgender and trans-attracted people. Most think fulfilling their desires, dreams, wishes, involves working hard, struggling and sacrifice. But if one seriously dives into these questions, getting what one wants can happen so easily and so quickly, life becomes the joyful experience it’s meant to be.
That’s because if a person fears death, or what happens after death, life gets colored by that fear. That fear generates much anxiety. And anxiety prevents a life where everything comes easily. Pretty everyone fears death. So much so investigating such questions never arise. Or, if they do, it happens at the very end of life.
Often, that’s too late to do any good.
But answering these questions goes a long way towards seeing life as it is instead of through distortions and fears born of bogus stories. While seeking answers will reveal answers, such answers doesn’t exist in “objective” form. That’s because life (even “after-life”) is 100 percent subjective. So proof reveals itself only in life’s subjectivity.
Which is why at The Transamorous Network, we advise clients cultivate consistent positive stories about life, about themselves and about what they want. That way, their subjective life experience reflects those positive stories.
So realizing you’re eternal involves self-exploration. And when you take that adventure, evidence you find will come through intimate, personal experience. Being subjective, such evidence won’t convince others. Therefore, having someone show you evidence won’t work. You must show it to yourself.
First, some important context
The evidence will literally set you free. I’ll describe how to get the evidence. But you must take the adventure and create the proof you want to see. Do this and you’ll find yourself convinced. It takes patience and practice, but the process works 100 percent of the time.
Before I share the process, let’s look as some context.
Physical life experience – particularly the external-seeming, objective aspects – are projections of the soul’s inner experience onto itself. So the person experiencing physical life experiences an experience of self projected into the awareness of itself. That projection looks and feels as an apparent separate, “objective” reality.
Why does it appear that way?
So the experiencer can experience “more” of itself. It also fulfills “intentions” central to who and what “self” wants to become. Seeing proof of an eternal soul therefore first requires knowing what you just read. That information gives context to proof you’ll find. The proof, in other words, will look like life experiences. Those experiences will accumulate thus “proving” convincing.
You also need lots of patience. Proof rarely comes in a flash. And when it does, it is often missed or it’s bewildering or incomprehensible. Like a barely remembered dream in the morning, if you don’t know how to recall it, or replicate it, you can’t hold onto it.
But with patience, the gradual, unhurried nature of All That Is will reveal everything you’re wanting to know.
Making proof visible instead of invisible
Next tip: you’re surrounded by evidence that you’re eternal. You just can’t see it. Seeing proof requires orienting perception so you can perceive it. The absence of evidence is what you see when you think you’re mortal. Which is why people think death is real.
“Orienting” your perception doesn’t mean “doing something” in physical reality. Instead, it means “allowing yourself to realize” what you want to know. “Doing something” and “allowing yourself to realize” represent two distinct things.
One way “seekers” complicate matters happens when they think or believe in ways making seeing proof difficult if not impossible. The word “soul” for example, generates belief constellations that work against “allowing yourself to realize”. I wrote about this before, here.
Beliefs are communicable too, just like some diseases. They get passed on through language primarily. You’ll notice you talk to yourself almost constantly. Much of that internal dialogue confirms and reconfirms beliefs, many of which work against seeing answers sought. So the next step involves realizing how language and beliefs muddle perception, then cleaning up language and belief.
Practical example time 😊
For example, look at the following two statements:
I want to see evidence that the soul never dies
I want to be the realizer of my eternal nature
Notice the action-oriented nature inherent in statement one. It also presumes no visible evidence. The speaker wants to see what they don’t see.
This statement affirms evidence’s absence instead of affirming evidence’s abundance. The perceiver wants to see something she currently does not, the “does not” component gets emphasized above all else. It creates “disbelief”.
Notice statement two is passive. The speaker speaks to evidence showing itself to her. Further, her statement expresses desire to become something, not see something. It also assumes the existence of what she wants to realize. She understands her eternal nature is a thing and she expresses her desires around experiencing that.
These subtle distinctions make all the difference.
The word “proof” is problematic as well. “Proof” is adversarial. It says “show me because I don’t believe it.” Wanting proof affirms your doubt. It also offers confrontation. “PROVE IT” is the energy of the word “proof”.
See the subtlety?
Let’s put this all together
Ok, so now you have a sense of four important premises:
Evidence you want will occur as 100 percent subjective. It will only convince you. No one else.
Desired evidence surrounds you. Wanting to create or discover evidence distracts you from experiencing it. You’re wanting to realize the already-existing evidence. Or better said: you’re wanting to realize your eternal nature, which already exists.
How you frame your request will either support your intent or defeat it.
Your beliefs will hinder or help you become the realizer of the answer to your question.
So now, the process is simple: you simply ask for the answer in a way that supports getting the answer…then hold to knowing the answer shows itself.
What happens next: you’ll experience events confirming your intent. Things start happening showing that you’re eternal. But you must keep the four points in mind. Also, you must constantly question thoughts and reactions which will stop the evidence dead in its tracks. Or they’ll cause you to miss the evidence.
The evidence becomes evident
For example, one day at a bus stop or someplace familiar, someone you know may join you. You’ll strike up a conversation and this person may say something – mention a newspaper or magazine article, a website, a book, or TV show – that will cause within you an “a-ha!” moment. What they say will sound perfectly timed and related to your intent. Perhaps they will mention the show God Friended Me, for example, or the Netflix show, The Good Place, both having themes in eternal life. And then one of many different things might happen:
You will totally miss the relevance between the shows (and their premises) and your request. Here Universe and All That Is gave you a clue. But your beliefs will block the connection. So you’ll say something like “huh, interesting” and let the moment pass.
Or, maybe you’ll think “hmm, I just read a blog about seeing my eternal nature and here is someone telling me about a TV show about god and the afterlife.” And your mind then might go: “this is a coincidence” and you’ll miss the relevance.
OR….You may feel goose pimples or a shiver down your spine and think “This is no coincidence. This is evidence showing itself….” Then you’ll get excited….You might go home later and watch either show, enjoy the premise offered and then, be inspired to casually research online the word “serendipity”….
Do something like number three and you’re on your way.
Seeing overwhelming evidence
The seeming chance bus stop encounter began the realization. But if you aren’t alert, you’ll miss it. That’s how subtle Universe works. Your job remains maintaining alertness and expectation.
Keep this up and you’ll experience all kinds of evidence. They literally surround you:
Someone may start talking about eternity or life extension at a function you attend
A dream might happen where you experience events implying an eternal being
More events will happen confirming real what science calls “pseudoscience”
You may be invited to an Ayahuasca event or a meditation session.
And then, at some point, you’ll notice old beliefs gradually shifting. You’ll move through life differently. Your changed beliefs and lifestyle reveal more serendipitous opportunities making disbelief harder:
Dreams will become more and more lucid and engaging
You’ll start to want to know what your dreams are about
You’ll start playing with this whole idea that “you create your reality” and you’ll start getting evidence of that showing up all over your life
Then, really amazing things will start happening. Things that, in the past, you would have said “that’s coincidence” or “that’s impossible” or “random” or “confirmation bias” or some other nonsense. Only now you won’t say those things because they happen so often there’s too much of them proving they’re real.
By then you’re on your way.
The rest of the path is up to your realization. Keep it up and you will eventually realize what every sincere person realizes: life and everything in it, including you, is eternal and death is not the end. It’s only the beginning of more life.
When transgender or trans-attracted clients really understand “stories create reality” they become unlike the vast majority of people on Earth. For clients, the world is perfect, unfolding perfectly and giving everyone exactly what they want.
Then, finding joy in life gets easier and easier. As that happens, everything they want starts happening. Moreover, it all happens effortlessly, which is what we promise all Transamorous Network clients.
Transgender people find true love that has eluded them for decades. Trans-attracted men gain freedom from shame and shadows, guilt and embarrassment. In time, even they discover their transgender match. But first, both parties discover unshakeable happiness.
After all, you don’t want a relationship with an unhappy person. And, if you’re not happy, you can’t enjoy a happy relationship. Did we say you create your reality? If you’re unhappy, how can you create a happy relationship? Or a happy life?
This segment from a live client session features someone exploring their unique gender expression. While discovering “stories create reality” they also turned desperation and struggle to increasing levels of joy, confidence and freedom. Listen as the client raves about what they’ve learned.
A early-transitioning transgender client gets it.
The upward happy spiral
Such testimonials happen in nearly all sessions. It’s cool clients give permission to share them. This way, instead of asking for a crafted testimonial, I get to share clients raving live, in-session. What’s more, what they say, unscripted, to me offers more convincing proof specifically because it’s unscripted.
Such epiphanies make showing clients how to deliberately create their reality a joy for me. The more they discover their own joy and confidence, the more they inspire me to do more for them.
I also expand my own practice, as I want more just as my clients do. And so, together, we all get more fun, more pleasure, more joy and confidence from within ourselves. Furthermore, life, being the reflector that it is, reflects back to us experiences which match that fun, pleasure and joy.
It’s an upward spiral that’s hard to beat.
The spiral is so good, clients willingly share their joy and confidence, just like this client, as well as the client above.
You can experience the same joy and confidence. It’s waiting for you. Life wants you to have it. Are you ready? Yes? I can help.
Every once in a while a transgender person will write us in anger. They don’t like when we say “you create your reality”. They don’t like it because they think we’re blaming victims for “tragedies” they experience.
Here at The Transamorous Network, we know everyone creates their experience, including tragic ones. So we are saying people create their experiences. Only there are no victims. And when a person gets this for themselves, they realize something powerful: They can create any reality they want, including one where nothing ever bad happens to them.
That’s our point in saying “you create your reality”. Instead of wallowing in unwanted experiences, why not create a life where tragedies don’t exist, and instead, your life fills with joyful experiences?
Today’s post unpacks the “Victim Blaming” trope. It shows why victim hood doesn’t exist as an objective fact. Then it details why no one need experience tragedy. While unpacking all this, the post offers strong arguments why anyone thinking someone “blames victims” should rethink how they’re thinking.
It’s not that the blaming-the-victim trope isn’t true. It’s just that claiming a person does that, severely harms the claimant. That’s because the person making that claim disempowers themselves when they claim “victims” exist.
In other words, they make themselves a victim thereby setting up opportunities to experience victim hood.
Let’s first unpack the idea that tragedies exist.
Tragedies: do they happen?
When a person stands in the belief that “victims” exist, that belief validates the notion that “tragedies” exist. No doubt events happen wherein great suffering occurs. Often, such events happen with little or no warning. At least it seems that way.
Situations happen all the time that one group or another calls tragic. Even our political leaders use that word in describing events that, indeed, seem tragic. Building collapses, earthquakes and other natural disasters, airplane disasters, pandemics, mass shootings, terror attacks, rapes, violent murders…the list goes on and on.
Suffering from tragedies happen. But need they?
From one perspective these events are tragic in the sense that it seems none of the victims asked to have that experience. They (the victims) just had “bad luck”, standing at the wrong place at the wrong time. The tragedy claims them. Then their suffering spreads to their survivors – friends and families. Those who experienced similar situations and those who sympathize with the tragedy through media coverage, a reenactment film, or social media suffer empathetically as well.
It’s understandable then, when someone says “these people manifested that experience” the vast majority of people will respond angrily. They will accuse the speaker of “victim blaming”. Then claim that “creating your reality” is “unmitigated rubbish”. Which is how one person answered a question about Law of Attraction on Quora.
And yet it’s true
“Why would a person choose to be in a terror attack, die in a fiery plane crash, get raped or murdered!?” These people will cry. “That’s totally callus and impossible. It’s irresponsible to say such a thing! Not only does it disrespect the pain and anguish survivors go through, it perpetuates rape culture, misogyny and a host of other evils!”
While this post responds to such arguments in great detail, these words, while accurate, can only go so far. The best way these things get understood happens through practicing creating your reality in your daily life. Results you produce offer far more convincing proof than words on a screen.
So yes, it’s true. When a person experiences something like a tragedy, they chose that experience. We explain here in great detail. So bear with this very long post.
Things happen that appear tragic. But do they happen to everyone, or only those who invite them? (Photo by John Middelkoop on Unsplash)
What are you?
When a baby comes through the vagina, and for now, every baby comes in that way, humans think that being is innocent. They believe it arrived for the first time. It knows nothing about life on Earth. The infant needs nurturing, education and such.
And while the thing (the baby’s body) needs nurturing, the inhabitant knows the deal. It brings wisdom, not innocence, to earth. Whether freshly out of the vagina or 80 years old, a human being represents an emanation from a being possessing vast capabilities.
That being stands as vast as its capabilities. It is eternal, having existed as long as All That Is has been around (it has never not been around). In addition to being eternal, that being also enjoys indestructibility, invulnerability and it exists in all dimensions simultaneously.
You, dear reader, are this being.
Again, words on a computer will not convince you. To know…or credibly believe this…a person must put into practice a process that proves what you’re reading as accurate. Telling positive stories does this. Evidence positive stories produce will, over time, provide such enormously convincing proof, you’ll give up your human experience, revealing what and who you really are.
I have arrived!!! When that baby comes through the vagina, and for now, every baby comes in that way, humans think that being is innocent. But it’s not at all that. (Photo: Alex Hockett)
The Sacred Forgetting
Back to our baby…
When this eternal, indestructible being looks into the dimension that contains planet earth, they see great potential. We won’t go into detail about that potential. We’ll only say the potential is so great, it is literally irresistible.
However, to “come into” this experience and experience it fully, the being must “forget” its true nature. Also, the being, in all its beingness, is too great to “fit” into this dimension. So in addition to “forgetting”, it also must “squeeze” a portion of itself into this reality.
This all happens in the birthing process, shortly before or shortly thereafter, depending on the being’s choices. Some call it The Sacred Forgetting.
When the being sees this reality through the eyes of its creation “the body” (the infant), having forgotten temporarily its true nature, the reality of earth is COMPLETELY OVERWHELMING. This can’t be overstated. For some, it is totally frightening. But the infant is still a creator, no matter how small or innocent it might look.
That’s enough about the baby for now. Now, let’s look at the Universe.
The wish granting jewel
First of all, all physical reality is an emanation of the eternal, indestructible being experiencing it. It has no substance other than that. Therefore, it is 100 percent subjective as an experience. It has no objective reality separate from an observer. And no observer experiences what another does. This graphic helps illustrate this. It’s taken from the book Seth, Dreams and Projections of Consciousness, by Jane Roberts.
The ultimate reality of physical reality and its relationship to the eternal, indestructible force or entity that you are. Your reality overlaps those of another, but the other experiences only theirs. And you experience only yours.
Since it is so that no one experiences what another does, the being emanating determines the emanation. In other words, reality exists as a projected emanation of what goes on “inside” the projector. The being experiencing the emanation projects the emanation, then observes what it projects.
This is crucial for the unfolding of All That Is. Because the unfolding of All That Is is 100 percent dependent on All That Is. “All That Is” is the vast collection of the beings described above. All That Is literally is a stream (like a water shooting out of a hose) of intelligent, awareized energy. That “energy” is what “beings” are.
Since beings comprise All That Is, their collective emanations constitute reality across all dimensions. Why is this? And why is it crucial?
Everything plays a part
The reason reality is set up this way is because it facilitates “more and better”. More and better of what? More and better improvement, expansion, deeper unconditional love and appreciation. All those things are the purpose of the Universe. The Universe, therefore, exists in order to prompt or trigger these things.
So it is predisposed to these things because these things – love, improvement, expansion – are the basis of what intelligent, awareized energy is all about.
These beings could accomplish the purpose on their own. But it’s far more fun and immersive doing it across dimensional reality. And, since “improvement and expansion” are the name of the game, at some point way back in “time” these beings understood through their personal experience that “improvement and expansion” were more satisfying when they happened the way they do right now across space-time-realit[ies].
Now, we’re referring to the relationship between humans and the Universe. But the same dynamic exists between every instance of physical reality and the Universe. Not just humans. An ant enjoys a similar experience. So does a rock. Dirt too. Atoms too. The wind as well. These beings animate every instance of physical reality. Remember: you are one of them. That’s important.
So the Universe exists as a “process” whereby immensely powerful all-knowing beings use the “process” to expand into more and better. In doing so, everything becomes more and better. That evokes more and better, deeper feelings of love and appreciation, joy and empowerment among these beings.
Now let’s get back to that baby.
Physical reality on earth is an emanation of consciousness, consciousness being the limited version of the being’s experience while in a physical body.
Separation, illusion, insecurity
Human perceptions create the illusion of separation. It looks, though eyeballs and other senses, like physical reality is separate from the observer. That’s on purpose.
The human forgot what it is. So in human form, this god (what else would you call it?) perceives the world from a human perspective. From that perspective, for example, it looks like there are other “humans”, some of which care a great deal about this baby, some who don’t care at all. Some might even want to harm it.
But initially, the baby is surrounded by humans offering care. This situation – birth conditions, including parental type, economic circumstances, ethnicity, religion and more – are conditions all decided and agreed upon. Every being involved, including the baby, agreed it would unfold the way it does.
In other words, no randomness occurs when a baby comes through that vagina. All conditions are known and everyone involved agreed to them. The baby is a creator. It always was before, it still is now and will forever be.
Abraham telling it like it is from Ester Hick’s daily email.
Dependency begins
The problem, and this is where all problems start (if you want to call them that), is the forgetting. Not only has the baby forgotten, so has its parents, the doctor, the nurse, the uber driver, the children who are now the baby’s siblings. Even though they all agreed in advance, all of them forgot that’s what happened.
So now, the baby comes in (or out). Reality’s bewildering nature so starkly shocks, it causes insecurity in the baby. The baby realizes that, in it’s forgetting and now human perspective in a tiny body relative to others, it must fend for itself.
But it has allies. Its parents, the nurses and doctors, midwives or doulas, in those initial days, care for it. It realizes then that it must rely on these larger humans to give it what it needs.
That’s problematic in a way because it sets up and reinforces something that is not happening but looks like it is: that the baby is dependent on bigger humans, humans who are separate from the baby and could, at any time, withdraw their support or offer dangerous expressions such as anger…and “punishment”. So one of the first things babies learn is how to manipulate adults into caring for them.
Onto emotional adulthood
From that early moment on, the now human has concluded (not learned), or adopted from others’ conclusions, that the world is separate from it and filled with others, some of whom care, but most who don’t. The human also concludes that they must be careful.
They must be careful because at any moment, those who don’t care might come and do something that will harm them. Or those that do care will turn into those who don’t. That’s scary.
Even those with the best upbringing feel this way. We’re generalizing a bit for brevity’s sake. Generally, hardly anyone on the planet grows up free of the following emotions:
Insecurity
Anxiety
Worry
Doubt
Disappointment
Blame
Frustration
Annoyance
Boredom
Impatience
Jealousy/envy
Fear
Pessimism
Anger
Grief
Dispair
Depression
Occasionally, they’ll experience more positive emotions. But because humans generally exist in a state of insecurity, the emotions above represent their dominant life experience.
Now, we’re ready to talk about manifestation.
Where “reality” springs from
Without emotions, it would be very difficult to manage one’s manifestations. There are other factors, but emotions play a big role.
Remember, reality is an emanation that has no objective substance. It’s there to show the being what it has going on “inside” so it may steer to “more and better”. In doing that it gets more love, joy and appreciation.
So when an internal condition exists, that condition eventually gets reflected “out” into the emanation (reality). This is on purpose so the being, now in a human body, can tell what’s happening “inside”.
Because it is in a body, only a portion of its energies are in the emanation. “The emanation” includes the body. So its focus, in the beginning, is kinda fully engaged in negotiating through and around in the emanation, aka physical reality.
That’s why a human who doesn’t know what you’re reading believes the emanation is real. Beliefs associated with that belief tell the human that the way they get what they need happens through manipulating matter – people, circumstances and events. Doing that requires near full attention. And it’s exhausting.
Remember, reality is an emanation that has no objective substance. It’s there to show the being what it has going on “inside” so it may steer to “more and better”. In doing that it gets more love, joy and appreciation.
Linking thought and reality
Now, another word for the word “condition” used four paragraphs above is “vibration”. Everything is vibration. Science has proven this, but please, don’t ever let science be the final word. It knows very little.
Physical reality as an emanation is composed of vibrating frequencies or conditions operating in a harmonic. That harmonic allows human senses to translate the vibrating frequencies the way they do – into objects and space. But those frequencies have their basis in the same “place” from which beings emerge through a vagina into the world. So conditions or vibrations are constantly moving forward, changing and expanding within the being that now is partially in a human body.
Reality springs as an emanation from thoughts people think. These thoughts harmonize vibrationally with others, and increase in frequency until they create the reality each person sees. (Art by me)
How manifestation works
When that internal vibration or condition changes, the emanations must change, matching the internal change. Then the body’s senses translate those changed emanations into changed conditions, circumstances and events matching the internal frequency change.
That’s what happens when some tells stories. “Manifestation” occurs. And manifestations are ALWAYS occurring because people constantly tell stories.
Every human does this. Every human exists eternally. It squeezed itself into a body. Each human being agreed to all the circumstances making its experience “real”. And, each person cooperates with all the others in agreement.
So physical reality happens on purpose. It serves expansion, more and better, and deeper levels of unconditional love which is the basis of All That Is. All That Is, of course, springs from the collective stream of awareized energy, the “being” which all humans are. Which is what you and we are.
So “manifestation” is a fancy word for the process by which internal conditions (stories) get projected into external emanations which match those internal conditions through vibrational harmonics, which are under the direct control of awareized, eternal, indestructible beings choosing to incarnate in a physical body. The process is designed to facilitate greater levels of unconditional love, a kind of evolution for these beings, of which you are one.
A detailed explanation of how manifestation works. (My graphic)
Manifestation: It is law
Any time a person puts their attention on their physical reality, then formulates a story about what they’re putting their attention on that’s different from what they’re observing, they change the frequency of their internal vibration. When they do that, the emanation they’re looking at will change to match the story because the story represents a shift in vibration, vibration setting up conditions for the emanations. All other conditions being equal THIS MUST HAPPEN.
The same is true when a person simply changes their beliefs or changes their mind, or makes a statement inconsistent with observed reality. If they hold that vibrational harmonic long enough, their reality must change to match it and it will change to match it unless the emanator (the person) fails to hold the changed vibrational harmonic.
And this is why everyAnd this is why everyone who says manifesting is rubbish is right. Their story, their internal vibration says “[manifesting or Law of Attraction] doesn’t work”. What do you think their reality is going to show them? It will show them it doesn’t work.
By now you should logically arrive at the following: there are no tragedies. But we’re going to offer more to help you see the logic of that.
The Universe is predisposed to good. We already said that. Love, more and better all represent good. But there seems to be some “bad” going on. Why is that if the Universe is predisposed to good?
It’s because all that “bad” being created is on purpose and designed to lead people to the good.
Now think about that. Doesn’t that make the “bad” actually good?
Free will means a lot
It does. But people enjoy free will. Nothing can happen they don’t want to happen. They sit in the driver’s seat. They also forgot everything you’re reading. So they don’t know they create their reality and their reality is supposed to be filled with fun, good, happy love.
Go back and look at that list of emotions. Most people reside in the combination of these. Even those who say they don’t.
Emotions are early indicators of vibrational harmonics or stories. And emanations (reality) ALWAYS match the internal, incipient condition(s) as late stage indicators. Emotions tell you whether or not the emanation you’re about to experience is going to be good or not when it comes.
But when it’s not, that’s a good thing. That’s because external reality exists to help people understand whether they’re going in the direction of more and better, or not. And since every human enjoys free will, no one but the individual makes the choice.
So if I (as a human) am focused on stories that are predominantly negative, my reality will reflect that back to me. Not as a punishment or something bad, but as a clue telling me “look at and do something about your internal reality (my stories)”.
But I’m free to not do that. If I don’t, my reality will keep emanating what I’m putting out.
Tragedies emerge from free will
If I’m in insecurity or fear most of the time, or anxious, for example, the world around me will reflect that back to me. Not as punishment, but so I can know that my stories need attending. And if I don’t do that, if I keep focusing on conclusions that are negative, I will get more and more of that, in greater intensity, including more and more circumstances reflecting my internal state back to me, like a positive feedback loop.
It’s hard to believe, but a person who is raped had strong vibration happening inside, that created earlier warnings in him or her that, had they heeded them and changed their trajectory earlier, they would have avoided the rape altogether.
The same is true for people experiencing strong emanations such as terror strikes, disasters and mishaps.
Again, you must put the practice to work in your life to convince you of this. These words will not do it. But evidence you create will.
A person in tune with their “higher knowing”, we call that one’s Broader Perspective, enjoys a kind of GPS mapper. Their Broader Perspective routes them around such experiences to the degree the person tells positive stories. Better said: one’s Broader Perspective constantly guides people to everything they want. Since hardly anyone “wants” to experience tragedies, such things aren’t included.
Tragedies happen in the mind of observers and the lives of those who invite them in. That means you needn’t experience one. (Photo by Dasha Urvachova on Unsplash)
When things “go wrong”
We’ll offer another perspective on “tragedies” of which there aren’t any 😊. That is, when such things happen, great good always comes from them, but not always immediately. Hopefully you see this. One of the greatest tragedies, World War II, spurred some of the greatest advances in many, many fields, for example.
The point is, you can’t know, in your human form, why something happens to another. But it’s for certain what’s happening is on purpose and benefits the entity experiencing it. And, when that happens, the benefits spread to everyone else because everyone else is cooperating with everyone else as described above.
So nothing is ever going wrong, even though it may look like it. Conflicts, disagreements, protests, wars…it all represents eternal beings working out vibrational harmonics such that the end result is more and better, best described as an eternal, unconditional state of ever-becoming more…love.
The purpose of existence is simple: creating more love. (Photo by Fadi Xd on Unsplash)
Tragedy disempowers
No one ever need experience “tragedy”. Certainly such situations happen. But they need not be seen as “tragedies” as, surely, they are not. And, no one, absolutely no one, need experience something like that against their will. That doesn’t mean such situations don’t happen. When they do, people involved got there while not paying attention to what they created.
There always will be people struggling to gain their footing, and, in the process create emanations for themselves that look “tragic” to others.
The problem with concluding they are tragic is, when you do that, you tend to enflame your own sense of insecurity, which, if you hold long enough, will manifest into your own tragic versions.
Or, you can take the hint your emotions are sending you, shift your attention to something better-feeling and experience only increasingly positive experiences. That’s the nature of life’s promise to all beings. It also fulfills the basis of the practice my clients and I explore through The Transamorous Network.
Someone sent the following response to a Medium article of ours:
“If you are attracted to transwomen because they are transwomen, That is a fetish,” The person wrote. “Just like if you are attracted to women because they are Asian or Black, if you are White. Not something to be proud of. You’re just being shallow.”
This person went on:
“If you are attracted to women and it doesn’t matter if she is a transwomen, there is nothing to be shamed of. Really, in modern times, I don’t think there is a form of sexual attraction anyone should be ashamed of except when it isn’t towards an human adult.”
Except any sexual attraction this person considers a fetish, apparently.
If your skin color looks like Tom Ellis‘ from the show Lucifer, and you think women who look like Ellis’ South African co-star Lesley-Ann Brandt are sexually attractive, you’re a fetishizer. You mustn’t be proud of that attraction. Even if you genuinely feel attraction to such surface features at first.
That’s what this person says. But is that accurate? Or is more going on here?
There’s more going on
While this person’s comment seems sensical and worthy of agreement, I think it merits further scrutiny. Yet I know many people, especially transgender women on the receiving end of trans-attracted men’s attention, will wholeheartedly agree with it.
That’s because a LOT of transgender women struggle in the self-acceptance department. And, of course, such women’s stories create their reality. No one gets around that.
So men they’ll meet will reflect “lack of self-acceptance” back to such women. A transgender woman unwilling to accept her status as transgender and enjoy that part of her, will create realities showing her resistance to “what is”: the material actuality of who and what she is as trans.
Certainly, a transgender woman is more than transgender.But resisting that material actuality resists what is. And when that happens, the resister will create material actuality reflecting back this unharmonious inner/outer reality.
That material actuality, includes men she meets.
Self-acceptance, for the trans and trans-attracted is key to love you want and deserve. And the most important story to accept is about accepting yourself.
The dilemma of living stealth
Every transwoman who wants to “live stealth” deals with such stories. Even if only slightly. For “stealth” means being seen and accepted as cisgender, which is not what a transperson is.
Certainly excellent reasons drive a trans person to wanting to live stealth. As this Wikipedia entry describes, living stealth can increase one’s self dignity. A person may feel they live fully in their gender when living stealth. They might feel safer too. So living stealth can soothe a lot of resistance. Living stealth also can cause anxiety associated with being discovered as not being cisgender.
That aside, all those excellent reasons – dignity, full access to one’s gender and safety – are states of being. A transgender woman can attain such states without “passing” at all. Let alone living stealth.
The problem comes when reality hits that ideal. When anyone stands outside of what they want, feeling inadequate, not good enough, unsatisfied and anxious stands alongside them. Those feelings will create realities revealing inconsistencies in who one is being.
Everyone is perfect as they are, moving towards greater perfection. Hear the self-acceptance in that? But who one is being when not accepting oneself as they are now, can’t abide with who one is. The reason life reflects this disharmony is so one can do something about it.
Anytime one feels any less than positive emotion, that feeling indicates disharmony. Emotions such as hopeful, joy, freedom, appreciation, love, positive expectation and eagerness indicate internal harmony.
Perfect matches everywhere
Not standing in such positive emotions, again, creates life experiences matching that. The same holds true for trans-attracted men. Many such men don’t stand in those positive emotions because they don’t accept who they are either. They wonder if trans-attraction means “I am gay” (nope). They fear what friends will think. If married, they worry about wifey finding out.
Doesn’t it make sense then, that these two people – the insecure transgender woman and the insecure trans-attracted man – would find one another? Each perfectly matches the other in their beliefs. And beliefs or stories create reality, including relationship realities.
But if either party judges the other they match with as undesirable, then no progress happens.
Say, for example, the transgender woman harshly rebukes the man’s attention as “chaser behavior”. To the Universe she’s saying more loudly than anything else “I don’t accept myself as acceptable so this man who is attracted to me, can’t be for any other reason other than that which I don’t accept about myself”.
In reply to such stories, the Universe says: “Great. Have some more of this kind of man. Until you figure out how to accept what you are.”
In other words, non-self-acceptance is a tough place from which to find love. For in not loving oneself, how can one find love in another?
“But I can’t accept what I am.” Someone may say.
I assert that that someone already did accept it. They’re here as they are because they accepted that before coming here. And they did so for a metric shit ton of good reasons.
The best contribution you can make is by realizing you chose to come into the world as you are, accept it and get on with giving the world the benefit of that. We show you how to do that at The Transamorous Network.
How matches happen
Starting to see how a person attracted to a transgender woman, because she is trans, might not be a fetish? Far deeper explanations exist.
A person attracted to a trans woman because of her trans-ness gets there partly because he is part of that woman’s reality, showing her what she must know to get what she wants (self-acceptance). Another side of the story exists, of course, because both parties co-create the rendezvous.
A trans-attracted man in the “chaser” stage is trying to figure his shit out. He comes with pre-agreement about his trans-attraction just like the trans woman. While his path looks different, it’s actually the same. Mainly, he must accept what and who he is to get what he wants.
But, just like a guy who first discovers girls will chase girls for the “pune-tang”. The chaser-stage, trans-attracted man is like a dog in heat. Maybe he discovered his attraction through porn or a documentary or social media. Either way, he’s excited and intrigued. Hooked.
But he also doesn’t know anything about his object of affection. So he’s going to stumble. He will likely also question his own sexuality. He may even question his gender. That might trigger all kinds of self-acceptance issues. Especially if this guy, like many people, thinks what others think about him carries any importance.
It doesn’t of course, but most people think it does.
So now this guy faces a quandary. He found something he wants, but it causes non-acceptance in him. Getting what he wants requires that he accept what he is. But, just like the transgender woman who lives on the same “story level”, he can’t accept that he might be gay. He also can’t not pursue his attraction.
So he pursues, steeped in insecurity. His insecurity flows from him like radar. That “pinging” gets “heard” by those transgender women – and only those transgender women – on the same radar “frequency”. In other words, insecure ones.
Getting the love wanted requires putting out what you’re wanting. When you’re steeped in self-acceptance issues, you’re not doing that. Relationships you find while standing there help show you that.
An exceptional life awaits
What do you think happens next?
That’s right. The two match. So they meet.
What happens next depends on what moves each party makes. At The Transamorous Network, we show trans and trans-attracted people how to make moves leading to more positive emotions. Emotions such as hopeful, joy, freedom, appreciation, love, positive expectation and eagerness.
Why?
Because when one stands in those, one’s radar puts out signals which attract people standing similarly. Each client approaches dating happy. So better matches get made.
“Fetish” doesn’t apply to any situation. Especially when those using that word intend to demean the fetishizer or the fetishizing. Underneath surface appearances, a great and eternal dance roils. Huge forces swirl around these encounters, all of which flow from who one “bees” (as in being) at any moment.
So if someone wants to meet someone who wants them for who and what they are, that person must first stand in profound self-acceptance. Anything less will bring relationships showing why that relationship won’t satisfy in the long term. Hardly any relationships come meaning to stay because nearly all of us are works in progress.
We constantly get better, improve, change, become more. And perhaps the greatest challenge for humans lies beneath those words. We are constant, changing beings. Always moving forward. But accepting that in a world unwilling to accept people as constantly changing, becoming-more, eternal entities, can be tough.
That’s why we’re here. We help people figure this out. When they do, they become an exception. And in that, their lives become exceptional.
As Transamorous Network clients get how important their stories are, they also learn something crucial for living amazing lives: how to identify intrusive thoughts.
Intrusive thoughts are ideas popping up seeming unbidden. They are intuitions which, if followed, lead to everything someone wants.
But if a person doesn’t know how to tune themselves to intrusive thoughts, or they don’t understand where intrusive thoughts come from, life can get pretty crazy, including dating life. That crazy is where “drama” in relationships comes from.
Here’s how to put a stop to that and meet the guy or transgender woman you want.
Intrusive thoughts come from somewhere
Where intrusive thoughts come from is important, because if you don’t know where they’re coming from and you follow them, they could create experiences you don’t want, including drama.
Everyone creates their reality. Most people get a little of what they want and a lot of what they don’t. That’s because they don’t understand what you’re reading.
For example, a trans-attracted man who feels shame about his trans attraction will encounter realities in which the only transgender women he meets match his shame.
They (the transgender women) will be users, or they’ll consider him shady or a “chaser”. They themselves will be insecure and shame-filled (i.e. feeling unworthy) thereby perfectly matching the man’s feelings about himself.
In this humorous clip, a transgender woman gets an earful in her session as we talk (for the first time) about intrusive thoughts. It’s worth listening to because she gets several insights at once, all in less than five minutes.
Everyone is a match
This is why I’m not so interested in meeting transgender women right now. Because while I’m far beyond soothing negative stories that create shame, I want far more in my relationship than an average experience.
I want an extraordinary experience. Having that means I must be a match to it. I must, in other words, become extraordinary myself.
Everyone showing up in our lives matches stories we’re telling ourselves. Those stories determine what impulses, what intrusive thoughts come into our awareness. Our emotions help us know whether to follow an intrusive thought or not. So knowing how one feels is really important.
I know two things tell me how my life is going: what shows up in life now and how I feel.
Paying attention to that helps me understand what intrusive thoughts are coming and whether or not I want to follow them. Following those consistent with my positive stories is creating an increasingly amazing life.
