I do mean disappear. As in never having to deal with them ever. Ever.
A lot of transamorous men – those married to transwomen, those dating transwomen and those looking for them – are afraid of “what people will say or do” if they were to publicly acknowledge their love, desire and romantic and sexual attraction to transgender women. What these guys don’t realize is it is exactly that fear that creates situations where they experience instances of stupidity, ignorance and insecurity (incidentally, the same is true for transwomen who fear what others will say or do). Your fears are creating experiences in your life that match them.
A short primer on life, aka “reality”. Ever notice, guys, when you’re thinking about buying a new car and you have the model in mind, seemingly suddenly you start seeing this model car all over? Ever notice how sometimes, maybe not always, you’ll be thinking of someone and sometime later you’ll run into that person or that person will contact you in some way? Well, this is how life is.
People call these things “coincidence.” But they don’t mean what I’m about to describe. Coincidence is the co-located incidence of you and the thing you are most focusing on. Coincidence as most people think about it, is a random, uncontrollable and sometimes uninvited act. But that is not what is happening because nothing about your life is random or uncontrollable.
Your life is a product of what you think and how you feel. That’s it basically. Hard to accept, I know because I refused to accept it for a very long time.
So guess what? If you’re fearing what other people are going to say about you wanting to have sexual experiences with transwomen, if you’re worried about what your parents are going to say if you bring your transgender girlfriend home, guess what? They will! But if you don’t give a fuck, I mean, really don’t care – not in a defensive way with your lower lip all out – guess what? They won’t either.
My family, my coworkers even my wife are all testaments to this. No one in my life batted an eye when I told them. That includes the testosterone-ladened martial arts community I participated in (long enough to earn a 3rd degree black belt by the way). My wife, not being threatened or against my interest is all for my desires. And no, my life isn’t some kind of exception. Well, it is but only because I know my thoughts and focus are creating my experiences.
Let’s take it back to the days when I was insecure about my desires, when I was still in the Marines and worried about what people would think about my romantic interest in transwomen. Back then some of my fellow Marines harassed me for being gay and I didn’t even tell them anything (nor was I gay)! How did they know something was up? I was broadcasting that information from all my pores, or more accurately, through my thoughts, which are physical emanations we all exude.
You’re transmitting your thoughts too. All of them. The minute you start owning your natural normal desire for transwomen, your transmissions will change. When that happens, so will your life. I guarantee it.
And when that happens, all those people you feared would ridicule you for your desire will either change….or disappear from your life.