I spoke with many a transgender woman’s dream today. This guy checks all the boxes. Sean (not his real name) recognizes and owns his trans-attraction as super-positive. He’s single (divorced) and never had sex with escorts or prostitutes, trans or otherwise. Sean never watched porn, including transgender porn. He takes care of himself physically, lives in a ski resort town and is active and attractive.
As I said, a transgender woman’s dream as far as I can tell.
Sean doesn’t drink or party and he doesn’t smoke. He prefers hanging out in intimate settings. His family and his ex wife both know about his trans-attraction. The wife even knew before they got married!
But after 10 years of marriage, his wife grew intolerant of his, as he puts it, “non-Alpha male ways”. Sean enjoys women friends over male friends. He wears his emotions on his sleeve so he gets his feelings easily hurt. Sean is sensitive in other words. Over time, these characteristics got on his ex-wife’s nerves, he said. So she used his trans-traction as the reason for leaving him.
Of course when someone blames another for their experience, the real problem always lies with the person doing the blaming. After ten years Sean never cheated on his wife, he says. As I wrote above, she knew about his trans-attraction from the get-go. Sean can’t explain why his wife changed her mind about their marriage after ten years.
Getting on track to self-acceptance
Even so, Sean says the divorce was a blessing. Getting divorced allowed him freedom to consciously explore his trans-attraction, which he just started doing. He knows it won’t go away, he says. He felt this way since he was a child.
During his early exploration, he thought he’d never meet a transgender woman in his ski resort town. It’s full of tourists, he says, and most of those people are mainstream. But after exploring his attraction more deeply, one day, in a grocery store, he spied a transgender woman and her boyfriend shopping. It was a huge shift for him, he said. It convinced him he could enjoy the relationship he really wants. I encouraged Sean to see this rendezvous as a sign of him progressing toward his desire. And the more he accepts all he is, the more such rendezvous he will enjoy.
Meanwhile, discovering The Transamorous Network offered Sean a different perspective. While some think The Transamorous Network the worst thing to come along for transgender women, the network actually helps a lot of people. Including transgender people. It provides uplifting messages for men struggling with themselves. It also encourages transgender women let go of negative stories keeping them from enjoying the love that so often eludes them. That’s why so many trans and trans-attracted people write us in appreciation for our content. It’s also why our clients live increasingly exceptional lives.
Like many men, Sean saw value in our material and contacted me through our free 1:1. “I’m done with vaginas,” he said at some point in our conversation. And he means it.
Happiness and love comes from within
Many trans-attracted men say this. Myself included. It doesn’t mean what some people interpret it to mean.
Being “done with vaginas” means a man finally accepts his attraction to transgender women. It doesn’t mean all such men want pre-op transgender women. But it does signify a recognition of that “je ne sais quoi” I often say transgender women possess. A “something else” that cisgender women don’t have. And I’m not talking about a penis.
So many trans-attracted men try avoiding their natural, wholesome trans-attraction by hiding out in vaginas. Meanwhile, I get to meet guys like Sean. Guys eager to do some self-exploring. Doing so begins a new era in a guy’s life. An era where the guy can accept and eventually come to love all that he brings to the table.
Self-acceptance represents a big part of what makes a person happy. Comparing ourselves to others, or fearing what others think of us, both represent recipes for unhappiness. Caring what others think about us can produce happiness. But that happiness rests on a shaky foundation. Because no one comes here to make other people happy. Our happiness is our job. No one else’s.
That’s why the best, most stable happiness comes from within. And happy people attract happy love. So a satisfying love life starts with happiness. And happiness best happens through self-acceptance. That’s something trans-attracted men AND transgender women could practice more. And if they do, more will find the love they seek. It’s why all my clients find themselves experiencing increasing happiness, then better love lives.
Thinking of wanting to accept your trans-attraction? Are you trans and tired of meeting men who only want to see you in the shadows? Let’s explore greater self-acceptance and get you ready to meet your match. Start here.