Your life is supposed to be an ongoing series of happy experiences that get better and better. Then you return to where you came, reveling in the joyful adventure you had on earth. Transgender or trans-attracted, this is supposed to be your life experience.
That includes all the lovers you might want.
We call it living “happily ever after.” That’s why you’re here.
A lot of people would probably say being transgender or transamorous means you’ll be or must be unhappy. Feeling bitter, frustrated, angry, scared, annoyed, jealous, or insecure seems to come with the territory.
But there is no circumstance in which you can’t be happy. You only have to learn how it’s done.
In happiness you get all you want. Including love and security. No matter how many transgender women get murdered. No matter how many work in the sex industry. Those numbers don’t condemn you to an unhappy life.
The only thing keeping you from being happy and having all you want is literally “doing” life wrong. With practice and patience you can not only have the life you want, you also can be an example for others.
How to be happy
Happiness is not the result of doing. It results from being.
In other words, it’s a “being state”.
You become happy by being happy.
“That sounds like a circular argument, Perry. What do you mean?”
Let’s clear up some misconceptions.
Pursing happiness through material consumption or acts, including sex, is bound to disappoint. That’s because feelings you get from buying things, or from your action aren’t meant to be permanent. They’re meant to make you want more.
Which they do.
That’s why the good-feeling from buying a new pair of shoes, for example, goes away after you’ve worn them a while.
It’s why when you have a casual sexual experience, after the orgasm, you tend to feel hollow.
When you figure out how to be happy as a being state, not through doing things, then actions you take from that being state are the way you express your happiness, not how you achieve happiness. They are also more powerful regarding getting what you want, including a lover.
In other words, your doing is an expression of your happy state, not a means to being happy. How do you find happiness? By first understanding what happiness is.
Happiness is an emotion. Yeah, you know that. But, what is the role of an emotion? Have you thought about that? In all the conversations we have about this, no one (so far) has thought thoroughly about what emotions are for.
They just accept their existence.
Emotions serve a purpose. Figure that out and you understand why being happy is important. Then, when you’re not happy, you know why.
Next, learn how to make happiness happen. Then and only then can you become happy when you’re not happy. It’s not true that you are not happy because of what you’re experiencing. You’re not happy because you’re not trying to be happy.
If you know how to make happiness happen, then when you’re not happy you can become happy. You only have to know how. Then practice. Once you’ve practiced, becoming happy at any time is easy.
Stay happy long enough and you’ll create “happiness momentum”. Happiness momentum is when happiness becomes your steady state. It takes a while to get there, but when you’re there, it’s easy to keep it going. This is crucial for living happily ever after.
Once you have created your own happiness momentum, then you’ve got it all. Because a consistent, happy state is the open door through which all you want easily comes.
There are other things you must to know. For one, you must learn to see signs telling you your practice is working.
What do we mean by that?
The world around you is your subjective life experience. Your life experience comprises a series of accretion events. They look like random compositions of people, circumstances and objects coming together in a certain timing.
These accretion events show up through a process guided by something. It’s not random.
What seem like random events actually are planned events. Who is planning them? You are. How? Two ways that work together. One is what you pay attention to, the other is how you feel when you pay attention.
Look at happy things or think happy thoughts. That organizes accretion events to match your happiness. These become your life experience. Look at unhappy things or think unhappy thoughts. That organizes accretion events to match your negative feelings. These become your life experience.
So, you decide what events, people, elements and circumstances become your experience. And you know which ones are coming by how you feel.
It’s that simple.
Nearly everyone on the planet forgot this is how life works. And that’s why people try to “make” happiness happen through doing: buying things, going on trips, being with others, having sex etc.
The pursuit of happiness doesn’t work because the pursuer forgot she carries her happiness with her. Happiness is not found in the physical world. That’s not what the physical world is for.
We know this seems preposterous pseudoscience. But a little test on your part can prove that it works 100% of the time. Like many things requiring mastery, you need someone to remind you how to see the signs of it working.
Make your life purpose happiness and you will live happily every after. Including finding all the love you could possibly want.