I love knowing that life always gets better. Nothing beats that knowing other than seeing it happen. Seeing it happen is what makes telling the right stories so fun. Especially when it comes to trans-attracted love.
But people, especially in relationships, believe in “too good to be true” or, waiting “for the other shoe to drop”. They expect something negative is always out there. Something is always out there, especially in relationships, waiting to go wrong.
There’s never a need for “the other shoe to drop”. Unless, of course, you expect that. What a person expects, happens. So when I respond to questions from trans women or trans-attracted men about why their love life isn’t working, I always tell them it is working. They get exactly what they expect.
The reason why people think their love lives don’t work is because they don’t understand what’s happening. Often a person will think they’re expecting what they want. But actually, they’re doing the exact opposite. As one client recently described here on our YouTube Channel:
So a person might think they’re expecting what they want, but aren’t. Then when what they want doesn’t happen, they’re oblivious as to why.
The power of momentum
Momentum creates everything. But one must understand which direction their momentum builds. Momentum can happen in the direction of what someone doesn’t want. But, when a person tells the right stories consistently, that focus creates momentum which ensures desired relationships. My housemate situation illustrated this perfectly.
For the last year, I’ve enjoyed two housemates matching perfectly my positive focus. A third moved in at the beginning of the year who started off looking like a match. But in short order they proved how unmatched they were.
So instead of focusing on those things not matching what I wanted, I instead did as I did before with previous mis-match housemate situations: I focused on what it would be like not having them there.
It was no wonder then this past summer this person announced they made other living arrangements. I knew that meant my housing situation would improve. So instead of thinking about how wonderful it was that this person soon would be gone, I focused on the next person and how great of a match – a better match – they would be.
My landlord reflects me perfectly
Since living here so long, I enjoy a great relationship with my landlords. We’ve seen renters come and go and we work well together screening potential applicants.
I can’t help infusing that process with my positive focus, which sometimes kind of gets on my landlord’s nerves, because it can look like I’m rather passive with screening applicants in a timely manner.
I know scarcity consciousness drives much behavior which looks like “responsiveness”. After all, if something offered to me is mine, it doesn’t matter how timely or not I respond. It’s mine. I bring this same approach to screening potential housemates: the right housemate in no way can be deterred from moving in. My stories drive what happens in my life. Not “responsiveness”.
But my landlord doesn’t know this. She believes “doing” makes all the difference. Including being responsive.
I love when my environment reflects back to me how I focus in the world. One day my landlord and I had an exchange over text that perfectly illustrated this. We differed on our approaches to filling the vacancy.
Of course I didn’t want to further inflame differences between us, so while saying I’d defer to her approach, I kept up with my predominant focus on my stories rather than any action I take. 🤣
All beliefs proven “true”
When a person lives in the world of “doing”, that world confirms their beliefs. For example, my landlord believes her attention to detail, prompt comms and quick scheduling of viewings makes all the difference. But I know all that action pales in comparison to holding true to the knowing that the Universe handles all this and my action means very little in my life unfolding.
But if a person (like my landlord) believes action makes all the difference, that person’s life will confirm such beliefs as “true”. And in that truth, one better take prompt action or else.
Any belief believed long enough will produce corresponding realities proving that belief true. The problem with belief in actions as being predominant factors for desires becoming things is, when it comes to desires where you feel powerless to act, such desires seem impossible.
If I want a partner, and I don’t know what action to take to get her, the powerlessness I might feel indicates I have stories preventing me from getting what I want. “Action makes all the difference” could be (and often is) one such story.
Soothing such stories creates a life proving what my landlord says I know; that the Universe delivers. I trust in that because that’s what my stories have created a life full of. So I KNOW this to be.
My landlord doesn’t and that’s ok.
The uncanny proving itself
But then my landlord sent the following story which totally confirmed what she knew about me: the universe will orchestrate people out of the path who are not a match to what I want and deliver those who are:
I know our views, my landlord and mine, are more similar that she thinks. But her upbringing has her kind of focusing more in the “doing space” than me. That’s ok. Because days and several bad fits later, she sent another text:
It was a perfect unfolding. Joe first connected with my landlord for a room she had in her house, but the timing/match delayed that consummation so the unfolding would continue such that he became my housemate!
Right around the same time, one of my other housemates gave notice. She’s horny. 😂 And she needs privacy and room to…uh…entertain. So she’s finding a place where she can live alone.
Instead of being upset about that, I knew her moving out, as great a housemate as she was/is, means the next person is going to be even better. That has me feeling extremely positive about her moving out.
And that’s the key to everything. I could be disappointed and feeling loss at having a good fit moving out. I could also feel worried the next person won’t be as good.
But what good do such thoughts do? They only set up circumstances such that I get what I think about. So doesn’t it make sense to think about what I want, not what I fear?
I think so.
Having done that consistently enough through the years shows me, not only does it make sense, it always turns great results in to greater results. Just like I prefer it. And by the way, Joe moved in last Wednesday. He’s great!