Editor’s note: In this series, we’ll highlight conversations with our readers/viewers. We think folks will benefit from these conversations. All names are made up to protect everyone’s privacy:
Hi,
I am a late transitioning trans woman. Before my GRS I was dating a tranny chaser who constantly verbally abused me for wanting to get GRS. He would scream at me to not get my penis removed. When I woke up from GRS, he was gone. That was early August 2020.
In January 2021, I met my current boyfriend. He was specifically interested in feminine, traditionally minded women – cis or trans – didn’t matter. We have been living together for several months now and he is nothing but wonderful to me. Great guys who don’t care whether or not you are trans do exist.
Somewhere In the US
Hi There Somewhere,
Isn’t it great when, when you get what you don’t want, it creates a strong desire in you for what you do want….and then, when you tell stories that match what you do want, you get that?
I think it’s great there are guys in the world who “don’t care whether or not you are trans”, just as there are guys out there who want a woman with a penis…and everything in between.
I’m sure you get a TON of validation from your current guy, right? Sure sounds like it. That’s so great.
If I were you, I’d stop telling the story of what happened in August 2020. Why repeatedly share something you didn’t enjoy? Then, I’d never stop telling the entire world about the guy you currently live with. That way, you’ll feel wonderful AND get more things you want.
By the way, using the phrase “tranny chaser” equates to calling a transgender woman “tranny”. Transgender women don’t like being called tranny. Trans-attracted Men struggling to find what they want in a partner struggle even more when those they find attractive describe them as “tranny chasers”. And if you think about it, that phrase denigrates you at the same time it denigrates him.
You probably know that, but likely think describing that guy that way makes sense because of how he treated you. But that phrase tells a story you really want to let go of…if you want a life you’ll love.
A match for everyone exists. No exceptions. Often, people find their match by “kissing a lot of frogs”. Every relationship though represents a stepping stone toward the one relationship everyone wants, the only relationship that matters, really. That relationship: the one each person has with themself.
Just as you got what you want, that guy from August 2020 will eventually get what he wants once he tells stories matching that.
Happy outcomes feel great. Enjoy the boyfriend you live with. Forget those who came before.
TTN
Hi again,
Since I first read this story and then again now I have been thinking about this from my point of view which is as unique as anyone elses might be. I don’t know every detail about this of course but it seems if the original guy was looking for a trans woman with a penis not wanting grs then he has a right to be dissapointed possibly. Quite a shallow relationship possibly also but it was working. I have a friend who definitely has a breast fetish, always has and married a woman with what he needed only to have her have to have a double masectomy years later. Im sure he is dissapointed to some extent but they have a lot more going for them as a couple than just the breasts so they are still happily together. They are a good couple.
If a guy finds his perfect match at any time he can consider himself very fortunate. In my mind the penis is a plus if the rest of the relationship works. If i was to meet a trans woman who definitely did not want grs and then went ahead with it anyway then that is similar to a couple agreeing to not have children and then one of them changing their mind. People change. Hard to dump on the guy for leaving, not the match he had in mind and without being there, there may have been other issues. It is always a perspective thing in relationships. I f to people see things the same way then good. Otherwise it is a struggle.
I don’t think you can call either guy in the story above a trann y chaser or otherwise when they are no different than a guy who like breasts, big or small, legs, butts etc. What attracts the eye at first must have some substance behind it and positive attitude can really be the difference. Walking away from a relationship that isn’t going to work is better than sticking it out for years like I have seem people do only to realise they have wasted years that they could have been doing something better. No regrets just lessons learned hopefully.
Have a good day.
I couldn’t have said it any better. In fact, your statement about the breast fetish guy is a perfect example of how things change, sometimes in a way you don’t expect. Sometimes, two people come together under certain circumstances, but then they expand in such a way that the circumstances they came together under pale in comparison to what unfolds. So many trans women don’t give trans-attracted men the opportunity to “grow“ or expand into who they can be.
There’s never anything wrong with holding out for what you want. Of course, if someone is feeling desperate or powerless, trying to manipulate or aggressively change someone’s opinion always seems like the right thing to do, even if it’s not. Still, I encourage everyone to hold out for what they want. Because the world will give it to you, if you hold out for that rather than compromise.
Loved your comment.