And whether it’s the birds or the bees or humans or trees….It’s love season! Let’s get you some!
For a limited time and for limited peeps, we’re offering a 50 percent discount on our 1:1 Matchmaking services. Trans-Attracted men can get our exclusive, effective, guaranteed 1:1 service for $100 a month (original subscriptions: $200/mo). Transgender people get the same great services for $75 a month (normally $150/mo). That amounts to a $14/hr session rate for men and a $10/hr session rate for transgender women.
We haven’t offered a discount…ever. Five slots are open starting TODAY for each category, so, claim your spot by selecting your option below and hitting that subscribe button now.
After selecting your category and completing the subscription we’ll redirect you to our calendar where you can schedule you monthly session date and time. Then you’re set!
DOES IT WORK?
Yes! I guarantee it too! But if you’re curious about the process go here and read about how it works. Or read the real life expressions of appreciation below.
(ABOVE) A trans-attracted client raving over how his life has changed.
(ABOVE) Another trans-attracted client expressing appreciation after successfully eliminating ideas of committing suicide from his life over his trans-attraction.(ABOVE) A trans-attracted client expresses appreciation in an unique way…(ABOVE) My very first transgender client thanking me via Facebook for changing her life for the better. She now sails around the world with her lover on a sailboat!
Of course, you can contact me with any questions, or schedule a FREE trial 1:1 to ask in person.
It’s easy finding our match when we understand that our stories determine who we’re meeting. This applies whether we’re transgender or trans-attracted.
But in this post, let’s look specifically at trans-attracted men looking for a transgender partner. What I’m sharing today applies equally to transgender women looking for a partner. In short, stories create reality. And when our stories contradict what we want, we can’t get what we want, no matter how hard we try. Not until we do something about the stories we’re telling.
For example, many trans-attracted men look for transgender women who will top them. This is an extremely triggering thing for many transgender women. But not all of them.
The reason some transgender women get triggered so strongly when guys express this legitimate desire, makes sense when we understand it. Some (not all) transgender women tell extremely disempowering stories about the penis that came with their male body. Such stories create equally extreme negative emotions. The psychological community calls these negative emotions “dysphoria”.
But all that’s happening is the woman is confronting all the stories in her head about her body AND what she knows herself to be. She’s focusing on what she doesn’t want (the penis) instead of what she wants. Doing so, she amplifies the negative experience. So uncomfortable the amplification can get, that she literally might want to cut her penis off. Or commit suicide. Or she might vomit any time she has a penis-stimulated orgasm. Like this transgender woman explains:
Self-loathing meets itself
Meanwhile, trans-attracted guys experience similar situations. His negative stories about his attraction for transgender women causes in him equally strong negative emotions. So instead of embracing what he wants and thinking about what he wants in a positive way, he will amplify his own discomfort. Do that long enough and he, too, will consider suicide.
Yet, the guy can’t deny his attraction because it is an innate part of who he is! Just as the transgender woman can’t escape the fact that she is trans. Even if she’s 100 percent deep stealth. See where this is going?
The transgender woman focuses on her hatred of her penis. The guy equally struggles with his trans attraction. At the same time, both want a relationship. So what should we expect happens? Of course, these two people will find each other because they are perfect matches, reflecting to each other their own lack of self-acceptance combined with their matching desires. It’s not rocket science!
It’s no wonder the guy’s intense negative focus causes him to express, to the trans woman, however clumsily and even insensitively, his desire to be topped or to suck a dick. He has no consideration for how the trans woman might be feeling about her penis. He’s too preoccupied. But get this: the transgender woman equally has no compassion for what the guy is going through either. For the same reason.
Both parties are oblivious to the other person’s experience. It’s no wonder a firestorm happens when these two come together. It’s no wonder neither has compassion for the other. Still, they are a perfect match! But that match is based in extreme negativity.
How to meet that better match
Getting out of this conundrum is simple. The answer for both parties is getting out of preoccupation with negative focus/stories. Then, instead, focusing on what each party wants. Not what they don’t want. This is harder to do than to explain. But every client I work with eventually gets there.
Meanwhile, trans-attracted male bottoms, plenty of women out there LOVE their penis. For your viewing pleasure, listen to two of them talk about it themselves. Here’s the first.Here’s the second. Both are categorized on YouTube as “age restricted”. So I can’t embed them here. By the way, there are plenty of men who prefer post-op women. Men who will fuck them like they fuck cis-gender woman. There’s a match for everyone, in other words.
Everyone can enjoy anything we want. It starts with sorting out our stories, then focusing on stories supporting what we want, instead of focusing on stories about what we don’t. Do that and our lives improve dramatically. Then eventually we’ll meet our matches. No exceptions.
But if we wallow in stories about things we hate, dislike, wish weren’t true, etc., we get stuck.
It’s no wonder to me that many more men are coming out trans-attracted. Transgender women complaining about the lack of such men can’t see what I see though. That’s because their beliefs about such men make such men invisible. Even though the women are surrounded by them.
Such women are like a previous trans-attracted client. He thought no transgender women existed in his city. That is, until he changed his beliefs. If trans women complaining about finding a man changed their beliefs, they’d find available men everywhere.
Instead, many transgender women go on complaining about their lack of prospects, when there are literally millions of trans-attracted men out there. And more are coming out nearly every year. The data back this up.
That’s what I’m going to talk about in this post. That and why so many men are turning out trans-attracted. By the way, this also means there are more trans-attracted people coming out who are not men. That’s right, more women are declaring themselves trans-attracted too.
What this all means is, transgender women have no justification for complaining about being single or not finding a partner, if they want one. The only reason that’s happening is because they don’t believe having a partner is possible.
But let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
The proof is plain
A Medium.com writer turned me on to statistics showing a massive increase in people – especially men – interested in transgender people. Now, the jaded, the frustrated, the perpetually complaining transgender women are going to read the following and scoff. And when they do that, they’re just amplifying their own beliefs. Not saying anything about what’s really happening.
So if you’re one of those women, dear reader, CHECK YOURSELF! You are the one preventing yourself from finding a partner. No one else. That’s because no one else is creating your reality but YOU.
Ok, here’s the evidence.
According to one of the largest porn sites on the internet, searches for transgender-explicit content is now the seventh most popular content searched for. Searches for “trans” grew by 141 percent in 2021. Views of such content grew by over twenty percent, placing that content among the top ten content viewed on the site.
“Increasingly, marginalized sexuality is coming out of the shadows,” she says. “We are talking about sex more, we are more free to explore our sexual fantasies with less judgment attached. Our sexual curiosity is coming out of the closet. When it comes to Trans individuals, we are now seeing more and more people who are portrayed in mainstream media, thus making trans porn more intriguing, more available and more accepted.”
There’s another reason for the increase too. It has to do with the men.
Burgeoning self-acceptance
More men are discovering their irresistible attraction to transgender people. Some of these men are shocked and dismayed by their discoveries. But that’s no matter. Other men go straight to the transamory phase of the Chaser to Transamorous Journey.
But most of them must go step-by-step through their journey. They must cope with and gradually overcome their initial shock, shame, and embarrassment. Yes, their titillation as well.
I don’t understand why transgender women don’t understand this, bring more compassion to the table, and thus, find themselves with a partner. Then again, I do understand. Because I talk with such transgender women all the time. It’s hypocritical to negatively judge men for their journey when so many transgender women go through their versions of the exact same journey.
Self acceptance is a problem a lot of humans deal with which keeps them from enjoying what they want. Especially in relationships. (Photo by Caroline Veronez)
The Universe answers all
There’s another reason why so many men are discovering the wonder and beauty and value embodied by transgender women. It’s a reason Dr. Betito doesn’t acknowledge though. Probably because her profession doesn’t consider it a real thing.
When anyone has a desire, the Universe will immediately answer it. It will instantly fulfill that desire. But to receive the fulfillment as their reality, those who desire it must let it in.
Transgender women have been asking for men to love them since they’ve been around. Their asking has increased in recent years. In addition, more people, especially young ones, are declaring their authenticity as trans.
Well, all that declaring and asking, the Universe is answering. There MUST be men willing to love trans women if the women are asking. And the women are asking. Thus, men MUST SHOW UP in response. That’s what we’re seeing.
So, transgender reader. If you’re without a partner, you have no one to blame – if you must blame someone – other than the person in the mirror. Your complaints about the men you meet keep you meeting those men. If you want something different, you can’t keep doing the same things.
The best way to create a better dating life starts with learning how to do nothing. When people discover the power of doing nothing, life really starts taking off. And dates people have get better and better.
This is especially true for those looking for that perfect mate. Transgender and trans-attracted people struggle finding love because they’re caught up in the “doing disease”. It literally feels like that. Dis-ease.
We think all we need “to do” is do more of what others are doing and we’ll find our mate. So that’s what we do. We go to bars. Maybe we ask friends to hook us up. But the one thing so many do while infected with “doing disease” is pursuing a partner via online dating.
I know that path personally. Over the early part of my life I probably spent something like seven thousand dollars subscribed to various online dating sites. That includes transgender-specific ones. I spent another five thousand or so on other match-making alternatives. That was before I discovered a far more powerful way to fall in love: telling powerful stories.
Doing is drudgery
Before that discovery, I was caught up in doing too. And doing had me doing what everyone else did. It worked. Sometimes. Looking back, though, the success rate of all that doing wasn’t very high. It wasn’t any fun either in retrospect.
No one really likes getting on dating sites in order to find love. It’s a lot of work and money. But it’s crazy how many people go there. So few actually find what they want that way, yet, so many go that way and struggle through sucky experiences.
I’ve asked my clients which they’d prefer: meeting their match in their daily life, on the way to the grocery or while in a park for example, or meeting them on line. Every one agrees they’d prefer meeting them in real life.
Why do so many go through that drudgery then? Maybe it’s because they’re trapped in the doing the disease like I was. I’m glad I found the way out. The way out being doing nothing. It seems crazy, but it’s true. Here’s why.
So many people tire themselves out by trying to get what they want through action. But doing nothing begins a path where things happen far more easily. No struggle required. (Photo by Adrian Swancar)
You match what you’re getting
First, the reason why so many seek their partner through doing, yet fail to find them, is because they’re trying to get something they don’t believe they can have. I talk about this with every client. A person can’t find something they think they can’t find. That’s the case for keys, lost gloves and partners one think doesn’t exist.
How can someone find a partner if they think that partner doesn’t exist? That’s the belief in which many transgender and trans-attracted people stand. So many transgender people think they can’t find a guy who will love them for what they are. So many trans-attracted guys think transgender women of the kind they want, don’t exist. And yet, both parties do, do, do, while not knowing their doing doubles down on their negative thoughts about what they want.
Worse still, how can a person find someone to love if they believe they themselves aren’t lovable? Many transgender women struggle with believing they are worthy of what they want. A lot think they love themselves. But track what comes out of their mouths and in short order overwhelming evidence piles up. That evidence shows what that trans woman really feels about herself.
Same goes with trans-attracted men. Although it’s much easier seeing the evidence. We trans-attracted men struggle with shame and embarrassment about our attraction, but also about our desires. We’re insecure about what our desires tell us about ourselves. And so we struggle too.
Insecurities proceed us all
The fact is, if a person doesn’t think their partner exists, or they don’t think they deserve finding them, they’re not going to.
So when such a person goes online to find their partner, armed with such beliefs and insecurities, they draw to them experiences confirming their beliefs and insecurities. They meet skeezer trans women, cavort with call girls and escorts and get had by gold diggers. Or they meet men who only want to sext, see dick picks or ghost the minute online conversations turn to meeting in person.
When people get these responses, they ignore what these experiences tell them. Instead, they try harder, do more, push, struggle more. They think if they do all that, they’ll finally get what they want.
It doesn’t work that way. Especially in love.
Finding love is easy when you give up the struggle. Even if you’re trans or trans-attracted. (Photo by Juliette F on Unsplash)
Doing it different?
Doing nothing begins an important process. That process reverses inertia created when a person keeps doing the same thing over and over, while expecting different results. When someone calms themselves, relaxes and focuses inward, powerful processes get underway even though it seems like nothing happens.
And the more that person relaxes into doing nothing, the more effective they get. That’s because every person, trans or trans-attracted, receives guidance through their intuition. Doing nothing tunes one into their intuition.
What really happens is, by doing nothing, the person calms down noise in their head. That way they start hearing clear signals their intuition sends all day, every day.
In time, the person realizes some profound insights. Like this client:
Uncovering such insights takes a while. And this is the challenge. So many people in our lives tell us doing nothing is lazy and time wasting. But it’s not that. It’s a profound state of being which tunes one back into their deeper knowing.
But if you listen to society, parents, educators and all those loud mouths in the peanut gallery, you’ll hear “stop being lazy”, “work harder”, “success is in the struggle”.
It works but it’s tough
Such approaches work. But do you really want to struggle through life? I don’t. I’d rather enjoy life while seeing my life bringing me everything I want with little effort.
People who struggle claim it’s worth the struggle. They look at and display scars they “earned” on the way to their success. I say give that approach up, especially when it comes to finding love.
Instead, figure out how to become a match to the relationship, that lasting, loving, true love you want. It’s far more fun, easier, and when it shows up, will be a better match. That’s because on the way to receiving it, you’re becoming a match to it. You’re becoming happy. You’re letting go of your pessimism and joylessness. You let go of blame and judgement.
And when all that happens, you can’t help but meet someone who is just like you. After all, in all that doing to find a partner, the judgement, pessimism, and joylessness you experience is what you get in return in the form of partners matching all of that.
A better way exists. It starts with doing nothing, which really is doing a lot. Learning to do nothing transforms lives. My clients know this. It’s time for you to know it too.
The best way to get what you want is to pursue what you want because pursuing it is joyful. This is especially true when trying to find love as a transgender or a trans-attracted person.
That’s because “the odds” of you finding the love you want are very low…if you’re looking at the odds. Looking at the odds is what it means to be “realistic”. Being realistic means “trying hard”. It means doing what others did and their successes or failures. It involves focusing with the end in mind and “faking it till you make it.”
All of those ways can work. But look around at people doing it that way. It’s hard work. People hate the process. Hardly anyone gets what they’re after, because the path is so filled with struggle many or most give up on what they want. Or worse, they compromise. They settle for something “ok” instead of holding out for their dream.
Those outcomes happen when someone goes after something thinking the result is what they’re after. If, however, a person goes after something, knowing the journey to that thing is what matters most, the entire process and experience of the process changes. It’s no longer a struggle, it’s a joy. The process of doing becomes the purpose of the doing, not the means to the ends. And in that mind space, what one wants happens, fast.
Your action isn’t the main attraction
Why does this happen? Because when the mind isn’t focused on the end goal, the mind becomes more open to millions of avenues leading to the goal instead of the one way one thinks it must happen.
Think about it. When focused on a particular goal, say, finding a lover, usually people think of one particular way to get that lover. The main way they think it must happen has to do mainly with their taking action to “make something happen”.
But the majority of people who get what they want, especially really big things they want, hardly ever get those things through their hard work. And usually, when asked, those people attribute “success” to “luck” or “god” or some other force greater than themselves that made it all possible. There’s truth to their attribution. Your action is not the main attraction.
Often, these people reach a point in their “doing” where they realize they’ve done all they can. With nothing more they can do, they give up. They surrender to “come what may”. Typically, once they give up, once they surrender, that thing they want shows up. It’s not the surrender that makes that happen. It’s what happens when one surrenders.
Surrender to the journey
When one surrenders, they give up actions, but also thoughts standing in the way of the easy flow of what is wanted. In other words, the person no longer stands in the way of what they want. Instead, in giving up, they become a cooperative element in the unfolding.
Another way of “surrendering” is giving up focusing on the end goal and instead enjoying the process, doing what one’s doing for no other reason than the joyful doing of the doing. A client and I talked about exactly this recently. Take a listen:
I have several really big things I’m “manifesting”. They include things 99 percent of humans will say can’t be done. But I know those things on my list are as easy for me as an eternal being, with the power of the Universe behind me, to accomplish as it is to walk from one room to another. However, I must relax into the process of their unfolding, because I too have residual belief in their impossibility.
It’s not the “impossibility” of the things I want keeping them from happening. It’s the belief in the impossibility slowing things down. So for someone like me, who wants really big things showing up, I must focus relentlessly on the journey as the goal rather than the goal itself. That’s why I see, nearly every day, evidence of their unfolding.
Everyone can enjoy fulfilled dreams
Compared to what’s on my list, finding a partner, for a transgender or trans-attracted person, is easy as pie. Which is exactly why I write in this blog every week how easy finding a partner is. It IS easy. When a transgender person or a trans-attracted person gives up beliefs running contrary to the love, the ideal love, they desire, what they desire will come.
Thoughts contrary to what they desire aren’t the only ones that must go though. Thoughts seemingly having nothing to do with what they want also must go. This is why it seems to take forever for most people wanting a partner to find one. It’s also why some transgender and trans-attracted people never find their partner. They aren’t willing to surrender. Meaning, they aren’t willing to give up what they must to have what they want.
The biggest thing to give up is being right. Many transgender women and trans-attracted men will swear to the accuracy of their disempowering stories about men or transgender women. Little do they know their being right is one of the biggest things keeping them from enjoying their desires fulfilled.
Anyone can have what they want no matter what it is because the Universe is a wish-granting jewel ready to deliver ANYTHING someone can formulate desire for.
All that’s required is focusing on the reason why someone wants what they want rather than focusing on the thing wanted. Doing that will naturally put one in alignment with the wanted thing, so long as the reasons feel good. If a person can remain in those good feelings, instead of thinking about how lonely they are, or how impossible the goal seems, they’ll get what they want. It’s that easy.
Feeling good is like finding
It’s easy because when a person focuses on why they want what they want and feel good in that, the desire becomes more important than the fulfillment. They don’t need the thing they want, because they already feel good without it. So the desire’s fulfillment becomes irrelevant. When a person gets there, then having what they want is icing on the cake because they already feel as they will feel when what they want comes. Feeling good about what you want, is as good as having it. And when you’re there, you’re sure to have that which you want.
If you’re struggling to find that love you want, it’s likely you’re focused too much on the end goal of having the lover, instead of enjoying the journey to the lover. It’s not hard shifting that focus. It can happen in as little as five minutes. You know you’ve done that when you feel good right now, even without having that love you want. And again, when you feel good, you’re closer to having what you want than you think.
If you want to know more about how this all works, set up a free 1:1 and let’s talk. Let’s discover how easy it is to have the love you think is impossible. It’s not as impossible as you think. All you need is a bit more joy.
