Self-love Acceptance - The Transamorous Network

October 26, 2021September 9, 2021

How To Become Super Human, Trans or Trans-attracted

This post follows up from last week’s post “Why Trans People Don’t Produce Happy Love Lives”. The original responder followed up with another comment which I used to clarify even further how stories create reality. I’m including only relevant portions. Read her full reply here on Medium.

In today’s world, being clear about how things happen matters more than ever. Otherwise a person gets caught up in negative events and dragged along by their sloppy story-telling. Then they get more of the same. Their lives suck and, before you know it, they’re on drugs. Or depressed, feeling powerless and, yes, out of control.

None of that need happen. Instead, why not become super human?

Trans as a super power

The responder writes:

“I do know about positive thinking, however. If you had any idea of the journey I’ve traveled to arrive at where I am as a stealth Trans woman you would know. I may as well have wanted to be the first astronaut on Mars.“

This explains why so many transamorous men, after passing through their chaser and trans-attraction phases, into transamory find trans women alluring. Sure, trans women might have penises. They might look fantastic. Maybe not.

But what trans women go through significantly distinguishes them from most cis-women. Through that path they develop extraordinary toughness, passion, intelligence, self-awareness and confidence. Some possess an aggression which sometimes serves them well. That aggression shows as success in chosen fields, making them exceptional professionally. These traits also make them excellent partners.

The person who wrote me continues:

“Meeting or finding a partner feels different. I can’t control what others do. I’m not in control of the way Trans women are stereotyped and fetishized by popular culture. How many times have I met a family member of a significant other and watched their surprise that I was “so normal.” Positive thinking has helped me ignore or tolerate or endure the discrimination and rejection. I don’t know that I have overcome it. As a good friend said, I want to be loved FOR who I am NOT IN SPITE OF IT.”

“I don’t dwell on these things, nor use them as excuses, but simply acknowledge that they are real and empathize with my sisters regarding our mutual experiences with this path.”

Her perspective is great. Yes, these things exist. But they need not shape one’s experience. Neither bigotry, chauvinism, or any other negative belief set need be something you take on. The less one cares about what another thinks or feels, even if they direct their thoughts towards you, the better one’s life goes. No exceptions.

Just because something exists doesn’t mean it deserves your attention. Being super human means being way more selective about what you see. (Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash)

Empathizing: bad idea

But the moment, you take on another’s beliefs, those beliefs start creating YOUR reality. Which is why not dwelling on (stories) like “fetishization culture” or “transphobia” serves your best interest.

What most people don’t understand is “empathy” means “aligning with another person’s story”. When one feels what another feels, both people MUST resonate with the shared story. That’s why when someone empathizes with another going through a tough time, they feel the struggle in that. Society would tell you that’s worth doing. I’m saying it’s not. Not if you want what you really want.

Far better: create your best life. Then inspire others to empathize with that. That way you lift people up. Again, when one empathizes with another’s plight, that unfortunate situation brings them down. Whether they recognize the “downing” or not.

I say, don’t bring yourself down, bring others up!

“Plights” aren’t worth empathizing with. Energetically, doing so always brings you down. Want to help someone? Uplift them.

Of course successful transgender women know about positive thinking. Especially regarding their transition success. Still, such women might feel disempowerment in other life areas. It explains why some successful trans women remain single and lonely.

Same goes for everyone else. Dating websites take advantage of such imbalances.

Some successful people know more about “determination” and “will power” than positive thinking. This distinction reveals itself in successful people’s attitudes. Attitudes which reflect hefty doses of skepticism and resignation. Such attitudes come from struggle, working hard and other characteristics accompanying “determination” and “will power”.

These attitudes combined with often told stories about life areas not working out, reveal a lack of positivism.

You can shape others

Being trans or trans-attracted, you, dear reader, might claim positivity, yet still struggle. That’s why The Transamorous Network exists. It offers upliftment and a 100 percent success guarantee. Do what we describe and you’ll find everything you want, easy and quick.

So many think external circumstances and other people’s behaviors exist beyond their control. That belief distinguishes “Positive Thinking” from being Positively Focused.

My experience tells me a person can’t control what happens after it happens. This includes people’s behavior. No amount of positive thinking will change something that happened already.

Many people try changing people’s behavior that way. Changing people’s behavior after it shows up rarely works. When it does, it rarely lasts.

So many people tell us to be positive. But hardly anyone tells you how. But “how” is the key to being positive. We talk about “how” every week.

Effort that fails to impress

But people’s behavior comes from somewhere. All behavior starts as incipient impulse before it shows up. In other words, there’s an underlying origin of all physical phenomena, including human actions/behavior. When a person learns to leverage that, EVERYTHING that shows up shapes to that person’s desires. It does so because what they’re doing when leveraging that incipient reality is they create [shown up reality] before it shows up.

People trying to control other people’s behavior after the behavior happens, create feebly. I pasted the definition below because the it amplifies my point:

There’s no strength or force in trying to change people’s shown up behavior. But one can 100 percent convince and impress the Universe so it inspires behavior in others matching what one wants. That is, IF they discover the reality I refer to above. Then leverage it to their advantage.

Life matches what one wants when one realizes how that happens. I explain how that works every week in this blog. Most don’t understand how it works. But those who do become super human.

Then they get everything they want.

October 19, 2021September 14, 2021

Why Trans People Don’t Produce Happy Love Lives

A transgender woman responded to a recent post of ours on Medium. The story showed how complaining about negative dating experiences creates a continuous stream of more such experiences. Here’s what she wrote:

I’m a Trans woman who has had all of the negative dating experiences you describe. Magical thinking about the universe and “man” -ifesting my partner didn’t [work for me].

I don’t believe a cisgender person [apparently she was referring to me] really knows the feeling of meeting someone, having real chemistry and then having them run away after you come out to them. A hundred times. Cisgender women are often fetishized, but Transwomen are treated like an alien sex creature. You really have zero idea, and I say this in the kindest way.

I found my partner through some luck and simple diligence. I formed a strategy and kept at it until I found someone who “saw” me, not the label. The other parts of the equation are working on yourself and being happy with who you are. Men are initially visual creatures and a grounded understanding of that reality helps too.

Here’s what I find interesting about her reply. Besides thinking I’m cis, which I’m not, her response shows exactly how what she calls “magical thinking” works. But she, like so many, believes in what other clueless people taught her. She believes in “luck” and “hard work”. Both of which can work, but as the phrase “hard work” implies, it’s no fun going that route.

And though she claims she met her partner through “luck and simple diligence”, what really happened is, she told stories that created a reality wherein she matched with the person she met.

Everyone tells stories

Whether a person believes it or not, stories and nothing else, create reality. “Beliefs” is another word for “stories”. What you believe, happens.

For example, the other day, my housemate lost her keys, including her key fob for her car. She turned the place upside down looking for her keys. But she couldn’t find them.

Why couldn’t she find them?

Because she believed her keys were lost, that’s why. In other words, no matter how hard she looked for her keys, she couldn’t find them because she created a reality in which finding her keys was impossible.

About 10 days later, after spending $285 for a replacement car key fob, the keys showed up.

Where were they? Some mysterious, really secret hiding place? No. They were in a jacket pocket in her closet.

They were there…yet not there.

She “found” her keys because she no longer stood in stories creating a “lost” reality. Instead, she gave up believing she lost them. Then her broader perspective guided her to what she wanted: her keys.

I’m sure you’ve experienced this too. I have. So have several other clients. A person can’t live an experience that doesn’t line up with their beliefs. The same holds true about finding a lover.

It’s a secret hidden in plain sight: reality springs from what you think about. (Photo: Photo by Kristina Flour on Unsplash)

Man-ifestation and luck

So how did this transgender woman discover her partner through telling better stories even though she doesn’t know how that works? Let’s take a look. Here’s what she wrote:

“I found my partner through some luck and simple diligence. I formed a strategy and kept at it until I found someone who “saw” me, not the label. The other parts of the equation are working on yourself and being happy with who you are. Men are initially visual creatures and a grounded understanding of that reality helps too.”

First, I don’t know if her partner is male or female, that said, she starts by acknowledging that she doesn’t really understand how it happened. I write that because she uses the term “luck”.

Luck is a word people use when describing outcomes they don’t understand. “Luck” means “success or failure apparently brought by chance rather than through one’s own actions.”

Why “luck” seems random

So luck implies something beyond one’s control. But creating reality lies within everyone’s control. Everyone creates reality according to their beliefs or stories. Not knowing how they’re doing that doesn’t mean they create reality some other way.

Since most people don’t understand how they create reality, they think when things go well for them, they experience “good” luck. They see luck as a random event. Being random, they also believe in “bad” luck. But bad things happening happen the same way good things happen.

Both kinds of “luck” happen in line with what people believe. Most people’s beliefs contain a few stories consistent with what they want. But far more beliefs people hold revolve around unwanted subjects. Things like racism, inequality, taxes, money shortages, fears about their health or a loved one’s health, worries about being lonely, anxiety about work, negative feelings about people who don’t share their beliefs or values, etc.

No wonder people’s lives contain so much random occurrence. It looks random, but randomness happens because people don’t think thoughts consistently about what they want. Their thoughts contain a hodgepodge of random thoughts. Thus their reality looks random.

Man-ifestation and hard work

Nearly everyone thinks diligence and hard work produce results. When people see success happening with my project Copiosis, they often say “good for you, you worked hard. You deserve this.”

But I don’t work hard to make Copiosis – or anything else I want – happen. Working hard makes getting what you want hard. Which is why so many don’t get what they want – in love, and, on the way to not getting that, experience anxiety, frustration and loneliness.

Later in the paragraph we’re looking at, the writer says: I formed a strategy and kept at it until I found someone who “saw” me, not the label.” I assert what happened here was, she listened to her inner guidance as well as looked at what worked for her in the past. She saw her past successes and applied similar methods. But most important, she started telling a different story: I want someone who sees me, not the label.

A transgender woman (not the writer) telling negative stories…and getting commensurate results.

All that other stuff she did falls into the “doing” category. Doing NEVER produces results, although it looks like that. Doing or action puts a person in a certain location, time and space-wise, where an “unfolding” happens. The unfolding includes circumstances and people coming together in a timing which creates desired results. All that timing and unfolding first gets created in stories. Then associated components assemble into manifestation. Doing happen so you rendezvous with other components as the final necessary component.

Emotions are key

Think about it. Very likely, our writer’s strategy implementation left her feeling discouraged at times as she met potential partners not yet aligned with what she wanted. Which is why she complained at first about experiencing everything I wrote about. Remember?

Yet, she still believed. She told herself a story (such as “I must be diligent and persist, I know this can work” or something like that) which changed “discouragement” into some other positive emotion, such as, maybe, at the very least, “willingness”.

Feeling willing to continue on a course feels better than feeing discouraged. So the story “I know this can work” creates a reality consistent with it: at some point evidence must show up proving that story true.

So long as she kept to that story, and entertained as little contrary stories as possible, “[Finding] someone who “saw” me, not the label.” was inevitable.

Which is exactly what happened.

Even more powerful stories

The writer next amplifies exactly the same stories I write about here all day every day:

“The other parts of the equation are working on yourself and being happy with who you are.“

Essentially she says: I became the best person I could, I found my happiness.

At The Transamorous Network we assert that a person can’t find a loving, happy, positive, successful, trustworthy, friendly, responsible partner, if they, themselves are unhappy, not loving, negative, unsuccessful and irresponsible. In other words, you must become a match to what you want. Otherwise, you’ll not get what you want.

This person did that. She focused on herself, while also putting in place processes which allowed her to feel more hope, expectation and positivity about her goal. Yes, she took action, but it sounds she told positive stories which made her feel positive expectation, which inspired actions. Then those actions led her to her desired outcomes. Outcomes which already existed!

Isn’t that what I talk about all day every day here? Of course it is.

How does that equate to the dirisive “magical thinking?”

Stories create reality. Beliefs create reality. Action doesn’t create reality. Action moves you to a place in time and space where what you want materializes. If you want a partner willing to love you in the way you want, you must become a match to that person you idealize.

Idealization isn’t bad. Idealizing gets a bad wrap because people believe idealizing is unreasonable. They discourage people from dreaming big dreams and going for those because they themselves fail at manifesting their dream.

Don’t be one of those people. Have your ideal. Be the teller of your own story. Get the happy love life you want. You do that by stories you tell, so tell the very best.

October 12, 2021September 3, 2021

Outstanding Transgender Dating Results Start With One Thing

If you’re trans attracted and want that perfect partner, you first gotta understand one thing that will kibosh any intent to get what you want.

You’ll still get what you want. But it will end in sadness.

I recently chatted with a Transamorous man who experienced this first hand. He moved from trans-attraction to transamory years ago. Since living out loud and proud about what he likes, he enjoyed meeting quite attractive transgender women, some of whom he dated for years.

But each relationship left him sad. Pointing out the one thing leading to his sadness triggered tears he barely kept back. For his dating experience confirmed this one thing knocking out cold some cis-trans relationships’ potential.

That one thing really comprises two things. If you don’t know them and you’re trans attracted, you’ll not only not see it when you get what you want, you won’t keep it either.

Everyone’s a stepping stone

Transgender women experience life moving from one state to another on the way to an ideal vision of “self”. Unlike most people, their transition keeps them in near constant dissatisfaction about one thing or another. That dissatisfaction offers tremendous motivation. Especially when the woman sees potential on the horizon.

For example, some trans women aspire to professions which reward them for their extreme, post-surgery good looks, their stature and unique aspects, which make them natural runway fits. Modeling, acting or other performance professions offer such opportunity. These professions also offer wonderful life styles and, of course, lots of money. Such lifestyles also come with many gorgeous, successful men.

Others who may not meet those standards, still recognize their physical appearance exceeds those of many cis-women, making them highly desirable. Even for “straight men”, whatever that means, some transgender women turn male heads wherever they go. That makes them highly desirable…and they know it. Just ask any high-priced transgender “escort”. 😱

Many trans-attracted men target such women as their ideal partner. They wish for and idealize such women, who they often see in porn, on Only Fans, or other online venues such as Instagram or Tumblr.

But most transgender women like these, on their way to that success, still want companionship, love, attention and validation. So on their way, they’ll accept relationships with men they will eventually consider not up to the quality they know they can attract. That’s where you come in.

Transgender women like actress and vocal performer Alexandra Grey pursue, and often get, stardom. Are you really up to par with that kind of success? (Instagram)

In other words, trans-attracted men sometimes become stepping stones for these transgender women. They satisfy their companionship, attention and validation needs through you as they move towards their ideal self and their ideal lives.

Dating people temporarily needs no justification. Most relationships don’t last and aren’t meant to. That’s ok.

You must up your game

But if you want that top-shelf transgender woman and you don’t qualify yourself as top shelf, even if you get her, you won’t likely keep her.

The guy I spoke with experienced this first hand. He met a girl shortly after her transition. They connected right away, began dating and enjoyed one another.

Then COVID struck. As with many relationships, constant close proximity strained their relationship. One day, the woman told this guy some bad news. She knew she had tremendous potential as a model. What she didn’t say the guy understood instinctively. As she fulfilled that dream, her tastes, and opportunity to satisfy those tastes, would change. That meant, he no longer offered what she wanted.

I know very beautiful transgender women aspire to top shelf everything. Yes, exceptions exist. But most, I would argue, like most people, react to social conditioning. They seek what society says they should. That leaves many a regular guy shooting for such top shelf women, only to face disappointment later.

People sometimes ask “Well, Perry if your approach works, where’s your relationship?”

I tell them I’m patient. I’m in no hurry. My match and I are still becoming. We will meet when I am at my peak. That moment evolves as I write this, as I develop this platform, Positively Focused and Copiosis. Each of these grows more successful. While more people discover them, I become more well-known. Before long, large numbers of people will know me and my passions. As my passions influence the world more, I become more influential.

That notoriety will create a global awareness of who I am. That will galvanize attention from my partner, who themselves will also enjoy global notoriety, or at least be at that “level” in their own life.

In other words, I’m creating self and stature matching the person I know I eventually will partner with. I call that upping my game. A Transamorous Network client once called that “becoming the best version of me.”

Every sock meets an old shoe

Not all trans-attracted men need become movie stars, billionaires, world leaders or other kinds of influentials in order to meet their match. But if someone aspires to relationships with highly attractive, successful, intelligent, secure, confident transgender women, that person must also be attractive, successful, secure and confident.

Otherwise the two won’t match.

The good news lies in the fact that everyone comes into life with natural gifts. Nurture those and one can’t help become influential in their own way. Like this transgender woman who once also had multiple personalities. She lives out loud about this. As a result she enjoys 133,000 subscribers and helps people like her.

Trans-attraction represents one such gift. Usually, gifts come in combinations. Rarely does a person enjoy only one. So trans-attracted men all come with more than trans-attraction as a gift.

A smarmy saying offers wisdom. It goes “every old sock meets an old shoe.” It means, every person can potentially meet their match and that match can offer great satisfaction, comfort and ease. But enjoying that satisfaction first requires becoming a match to that satisfaction.

That happens when one ultimately finds out how to create life in which their wildest dreams become reality. At The Transamorous Network we show people, transgender and trans-attracted how to do that.

Get what matters most

The perfect partner needn’t be a model or movie star. Fame doesn’t guarantee relationship success. But many people live far short of their ideal, leaving them desperate, insecure and unsatisfied.

Desperation, insecurity and dissatisfaction offer terrible foundations upon which to build a relationship. And, they tend to draw people living in similar states.

If you want that perfect trans girl and you, yourself, aren’t perfect (whatever that means for you), prepare for disappointment. But many sane, happy, fun, easy-going transgender women exist. They may not be models, but they can offer love, companionship, relationship and affection.

And in the end, when all the glam fades and it’s just you two, what really matters? Model-like appearance? Influence? Fame? Or things like honesty, integrity, communication and trust? Most people I talk with, including transgender women, when I remind them of what matters, act surprised.

Hopefully you’re not. Avoid the kibosh. Revise what you look for in your trans partner. Focus on becoming your best you. Tell positive stories about everything. Then see what happens.

September 21, 2021August 19, 2021

Exclusive: How A Full, Happy, Client Session Looks

I’m overjoyed sharing this video and appreciate deeply my client’s willingness to share it with you too.

It’s deeply touching watching what happens in this, unfiltered, full, lightly edited recording. I knew when we had it, it offered extraordinary insight into how telling better-feeling stories works.

As my client gets near the end of the session, you can see how deeply his new stories transformed his perspective.

A session anatomy

The client came to the session after spending the week in disempowering stories. As such, he characterized the week as negative, sharing only those experiences he had access to – those matching his lower level stories – as “proof” substantiating his experience.

This offered a wonderful opportunity. We practiced shifting his stories. As he told increasingly better-feeling stories, positive experiences he had during the same week, ones he didn’t mention, returned to his memory. That’s because as he improved his stories, he resonated to those instead of more negative experiences with which he originally perceived through his matching, negative stories. In doing so his mood changed completely.

This session illustrates so many powerful insights, the most important being: Telling stories that feel good creates better life experiences.

It’s simple. Tell positive stories, get what you want.

What reality resonates?

The reality one experiences is the one with which they resonate. Life’s harmonics will draw to a person, experiences from the infinite matching that person’s stories or beliefs. He can access no other realities, even though they’re just as real. One’s experience therefore rests completely with what stories he tells. This includes relationship experiences, as well as who shows up in one’s life.

So if you want someone to love, but keep meeting toads or skeezers, the remedy isn’t on a dating site. It’s not in finding a different person. Your remedy lies in your stories.

Every reality exists simultaneously. By shifting one’s stories, through simple declarative statements, one finds oneself realizing totally different versions of the exact same reality they experience. Only details change because the better-feeling stories draw details matching them.

I love this work. I love showing people how to change their stories so they end up on track to everything they want.

But what fulfills me most is the jubilance I feel when I see significant positive shifts in people’s being. This happens in the video at 00:35:39. Especially when they see it too. That’s the payoff. That and the client realizing their life changed for the better, of course.

We’re all eternal. Getting what you want can happen all day every day. They’re sign posts along a never ending path of personal fulfillment and joy. Life’s purpose therefore doesn’t rest in getting what you want, although getting that really is fun.

Life’s purpose fulfills itself in wonderful, delicious, rambunctious feelings birthed from knowing you’re at the center of the Universe. You’re eternal, getting exactly what you create. Nothing beats that, as my client here shows.

Enjoy.

September 7, 2021July 23, 2021

How Perfect Manifestation Makes For Great Results

It’s fun watching how my desires fulfill themselves. Even desires I want at one time, but then expand out of. These too still become my reality, whether I want them or not. When this happens, it proves what we talk about at The Transamorous Network.

Through such proof I also learn how to refine my story telling practice. That way I create more reality consistent with my desire. What happened recently offers a perfect example.

A couple years ago after my marriage ended in divorce, I needed a job. I manifested the perfect job immediately, with no effort, in perfect timing. That job set me up to never work a job again. (Links go to my sister site Positively Focused)

While working at that company though, I briefly aspired to management. At the time I saw pretty great potential in moving up the ranks, potentially rising quickly as that company grew.

But those thoughts came from old stories. Stories most people tell about what “success” looks like. In those stories, “career success”, “corporate success”, rising through the ranks and a big salary means success.

That kind of success though tends to cost a lot. One’s life balance, freedom, passions and authentic self-expression usually get squelched in such opportunities. I should know. I enjoyed just such success at a major utility and a high tech company spanning over 20 years. Both careers took their toll.

I’m glad I’m past that.

Be careful what you ask for…you might get it

Still, while at that big company, I got caught up in old beliefs. Other beliefs in that constellation had me doubt what I now no longer doubt. Those other beliefs told me pursuing my passions was scary, hard and hardly anyone succeeded doing that.

So one day, while doing my job, I told myself a story. I thought about how cool it would be to transition into management at this company. In telling that story, I created a future reality where the company invited me to apply for a position that opened doors to future operational leadership.

Then I forgot all about it. I didn’t “try” to “make it happen”. In fact until what happened next happened, I forgot all about that future reality.

That’s because during the ensuing short months at that company, several other desires fulfilled themselves. Those opened doors to where I am now, not working and instead pursuing my passions and allowing my Charmed Life.

Here’s what happened.

If it’s not a “hell yes!”

The other day I got an email. It came from a recruiter working at the company where I worked. The email offered me an operational leadership position. The position offered exactly what I wanted: open doors to greater leadership.

The email specifically said “this role is a stepping stone into operational leadership”!

At first, the email sounded interesting. But the more I thought about it, the less intriguing the opportunity felt.

“Why?” You may ask. “You manifested exactly what you wanted!”

True, I wanted that…a few years ago. Now, life and my desires changed. The opportunity sounded interesting. But interesting isn’t enough. I know if an opportunity doesn’t feel like a “Hell Yes”, it’s a “Hell no!”, no matter how good it sounds.

The real opportunity…

Given where I am, I wrote the sender telling him I wasn’t interested for several reasons. Then I thought about this experience and saw the gold in it.

I thought about the mechanics of this manifestation, what I did, or more important, what I didn’t do, and how it unfolded. Here’s what I saw:

I created the desire our of my then, now, the told the story of that desire
The desire felt exciting at the time and I had sincere interest in it.
Then, I totally forgot about it. I didn’t stew on it, I didn’t do any processes to amplify the desire or the fulfillment, I used no affirmations. I let it go.
This is important: Fulfillment took a while. During that time I felt no impatience about getting anywhere, which allowed me to relax and let things unfold.
As a result of all the above, the story manifested into a reality, with me not doing anything to “make it happen”.

This result typifies what I’d call perfect manifestation technique. No focus on “when” or “how”. No trying to make it happen. Total surrender and…fulfillment…with no effort on my part.

This manifestation also lets me know just because a manifestation fulfills itself doesn’t mean I need to step into it. Manifestations represent sign posts along my unfolding path to expansion, which has no end.

That means I face continual streams of unfolding desires, some I’ll embrace, others I’ll pass by.

Today far more interesting unfolding desires keep me excited about my now and the future. I enjoy watching all desires unfold though, whether I embrace them or not, knowing they all come with teachings which make me a better, deliberate creator.