Category: Self-love Acceptance

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Outstanding Transgender Dating Results Start With One Thing

Photo by Nathan Walker on Unsplash

If you’re trans attracted and want that perfect partner, you first gotta understand one thing that will kibosh any intent to get what you want.

You’ll still get what you want. But it will end in sadness.

I recently chatted with a Transamorous man who experienced this first hand. He moved from trans-attraction to transamory years ago. Since living out loud and proud about what he likes, he enjoyed meeting quite attractive transgender women, some of whom he dated for years.

But each relationship left him sad. Pointing out the one thing leading to his sadness triggered tears he barely kept back. For his dating experience confirmed this one thing knocking out cold some cis-trans relationships’ potential.

That one thing really comprises two things. If you don’t know them and you’re trans attracted, you’ll not only not see it when you get what you want, you won’t keep it either.

Everyone’s a stepping stone

Transgender women experience life moving from one state to another on the way to an ideal vision of “self”. Unlike most people, their transition keeps them in near constant dissatisfaction about one thing or another. That dissatisfaction offers tremendous motivation. Especially when the woman sees potential on the horizon.

For example, some trans women aspire to professions which reward them for their extreme, post-surgery good looks, their stature and unique aspects, which make them natural runway fits. Modeling, acting or other performance professions offer such opportunity. These professions also offer wonderful life styles and, of course, lots of money. Such lifestyles also come with many gorgeous, successful men.

Others who may not meet those standards, still recognize their physical appearance exceeds those of many cis-women, making them highly desirable. Even for “straight men”, whatever that means, some transgender women turn male heads wherever they go. That makes them highly desirable…and they know it. Just ask any high-priced transgender “escort”. 😱

Many trans-attracted men target such women as their ideal partner. They wish for and idealize such women, who they often see in porn, on Only Fans, or other online venues such as Instagram or Tumblr.

But most transgender women like these, on their way to that success, still want companionship, love, attention and validation. So on their way, they’ll accept relationships with men they will eventually consider not up to the quality they know they can attract. That’s where you come in.

Transgender women like actress and vocal performer Alexandra Grey pursue, and often get, stardom. Are you really up to par with that kind of success? (Instagram)

In other words, trans-attracted men sometimes become stepping stones for these transgender women. They satisfy their companionship, attention and validation needs through you as they move towards their ideal self and their ideal lives.

Dating people temporarily needs no justification. Most relationships don’t last and aren’t meant to. That’s ok.

You must up your game

But if you want that top-shelf transgender woman and you don’t qualify yourself as top shelf, even if you get her, you won’t likely keep her.

The guy I spoke with experienced this first hand. He met a girl shortly after her transition. They connected right away, began dating and enjoyed one another.

Then COVID struck. As with many relationships, constant close proximity strained their relationship. One day, the woman told this guy some bad news. She knew she had tremendous potential as a model. What she didn’t say the guy understood instinctively. As she fulfilled that dream, her tastes, and opportunity to satisfy those tastes, would change. That meant, he no longer offered what she wanted.

I know very beautiful transgender women aspire to top shelf everything. Yes, exceptions exist. But most, I would argue, like most people, react to social conditioning. They seek what society says they should. That leaves many a regular guy shooting for such top shelf women, only to face disappointment later.

People sometimes ask “Well, Perry if your approach works, where’s your relationship?”

I tell them I’m patient. I’m in no hurry. My match and I are still becoming. We will meet when I am at my peak. That moment evolves as I write this, as I develop this platform, Positively Focused and Copiosis. Each of these grows more successful. While more people discover them, I become more well-known. Before long, large numbers of people will know me and my passions. As my passions influence the world more, I become more influential.

That notoriety will create a global awareness of who I am. That will galvanize attention from my partner, who themselves will also enjoy global notoriety, or at least be at that “level” in their own life.

In other words, I’m creating self and stature matching the person I know I eventually will partner with. I call that upping my game. A Transamorous Network client once called that “becoming the best version of me.”

Every sock meets an old shoe

Not all trans-attracted men need become movie stars, billionaires, world leaders or other kinds of influentials in order to meet their match. But if someone aspires to relationships with highly attractive, successful, intelligent, secure, confident transgender women, that person must also be attractive, successful, secure and confident.

Otherwise the two won’t match.

The good news lies in the fact that everyone comes into life with natural gifts. Nurture those and one can’t help become influential in their own way. Like this transgender woman who once also had multiple personalities. She lives out loud about this. As a result she enjoys 133,000 subscribers and helps people like her.

Trans-attraction represents one such gift. Usually, gifts come in combinations. Rarely does a person enjoy only one. So trans-attracted men all come with more than trans-attraction as a gift.

A smarmy saying offers wisdom. It goes “every old sock meets an old shoe.” It means, every person can potentially meet their match and that match can offer great satisfaction, comfort and ease. But enjoying that satisfaction first requires becoming a match to that satisfaction.

That happens when one ultimately finds out how to create life in which their wildest dreams become reality. At The Transamorous Network we show people, transgender and trans-attracted how to do that.

Get what matters most

The perfect partner needn’t be a model or movie star. Fame doesn’t guarantee relationship success. But many people live far short of their ideal, leaving them desperate, insecure and unsatisfied.

Desperation, insecurity and dissatisfaction offer terrible foundations upon which to build a relationship. And, they tend to draw people living in similar states.

If you want that perfect trans girl and you, yourself, aren’t perfect (whatever that means for you), prepare for disappointment. But many sane, happy, fun, easy-going transgender women exist. They may not be models, but they can offer love, companionship, relationship and affection.

And in the end, when all the glam fades and it’s just you two, what really matters? Model-like appearance? Influence? Fame? Or things like honesty, integrity, communication and trust? Most people I talk with, including transgender women, when I remind them of what matters, act surprised.

Hopefully you’re not. Avoid the kibosh. Revise what you look for in your trans partner. Focus on becoming your best you. Tell positive stories about everything. Then see what happens.

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Exclusive: How A Full, Happy, Client Session Looks

I’m overjoyed sharing this video and appreciate deeply my client’s willingness to share it with you too.

It’s deeply touching watching what happens in this, unfiltered, full, lightly edited recording. I knew when we had it, it offered extraordinary insight into how telling better-feeling stories works.

As my client gets near the end of the session, you can see how deeply his new stories transformed his perspective.

A session anatomy

The client came to the session after spending the week in disempowering stories. As such, he characterized the week as negative, sharing only those experiences he had access to – those matching his lower level stories – as “proof” substantiating his experience.

This offered a wonderful opportunity. We practiced shifting his stories. As he told increasingly better-feeling stories, positive experiences he had during the same week, ones he didn’t mention, returned to his memory. That’s because as he improved his stories, he resonated to those instead of more negative experiences with which he originally perceived through his matching, negative stories. In doing so his mood changed completely.

This session illustrates so many powerful insights, the most important being: Telling stories that feel good creates better life experiences.

It’s simple. Tell positive stories, get what you want.

What reality resonates?

The reality one experiences is the one with which they resonate. Life’s harmonics will draw to a person, experiences from the infinite matching that person’s stories or beliefs. He can access no other realities, even though they’re just as real. One’s experience therefore rests completely with what stories he tells. This includes relationship experiences, as well as who shows up in one’s life.

So if you want someone to love, but keep meeting toads or skeezers, the remedy isn’t on a dating site. It’s not in finding a different person. Your remedy lies in your stories.

Every reality exists simultaneously. By shifting one’s stories, through simple declarative statements, one finds oneself realizing totally different versions of the exact same reality they experience. Only details change because the better-feeling stories draw details matching them.

I love this work. I love showing people how to change their stories so they end up on track to everything they want.

But what fulfills me most is the jubilance I feel when I see significant positive shifts in people’s being. This happens in the video at 00:35:39. Especially when they see it too. That’s the payoff. That and the client realizing their life changed for the better, of course.

We’re all eternal. Getting what you want can happen all day every day. They’re sign posts along a never ending path of personal fulfillment and joy. Life’s purpose therefore doesn’t rest in getting what you want, although getting that really is fun.

Life’s purpose fulfills itself in wonderful, delicious, rambunctious feelings birthed from knowing you’re at the center of the Universe. You’re eternal, getting exactly what you create. Nothing beats that, as my client here shows.

Enjoy.

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How Perfect Manifestation Makes For Great Results

Photo by Stefan Mächler on Unsplash

It’s fun watching how my desires fulfill themselves. Even desires I want at one time, but then expand out of. These too still become my reality, whether I want them or not. When this happens, it proves what we talk about at The Transamorous Network.

Through such proof I also learn how to refine my story telling practice. That way I create more reality consistent with my desire. What happened recently offers a perfect example.

A couple years ago after my marriage ended in divorce, I needed a job. I manifested the perfect job immediately, with no effort, in perfect timing. That job set me up to never work a job again. (Links go to my sister site Positively Focused)

While working at that company though, I briefly aspired to management. At the time I saw pretty great potential in moving up the ranks, potentially rising quickly as that company grew.

But those thoughts came from old stories. Stories most people tell about what “success” looks like. In those stories, “career success”, “corporate success”, rising through the ranks and a big salary means success.

That kind of success though tends to cost a lot. One’s life balance, freedom, passions and authentic self-expression usually get squelched in such opportunities. I should know. I enjoyed just such success at a major utility and a high tech company spanning over 20 years. Both careers took their toll.

I’m glad I’m past that.

Be careful what you ask for…you might get it

Still, while at that big company, I got caught up in old beliefs. Other beliefs in that constellation had me doubt what I now no longer doubt. Those other beliefs told me pursuing my passions was scary, hard and hardly anyone succeeded doing that.

So one day, while doing my job, I told myself a story. I thought about how cool it would be to transition into management at this company. In telling that story, I created a future reality where the company invited me to apply for a position that opened doors to future operational leadership.

Then I forgot all about it. I didn’t “try” to “make it happen”. In fact until what happened next happened, I forgot all about that future reality.

That’s because during the ensuing short months at that company, several other desires fulfilled themselves. Those opened doors to where I am now, not working and instead pursuing my passions and allowing my Charmed Life.

Here’s what happened.

If it’s not a “hell yes!”

The other day I got an email. It came from a recruiter working at the company where I worked. The email offered me an operational leadership position. The position offered exactly what I wanted: open doors to greater leadership.

The email offering…

The email specifically said “this role is a stepping stone into operational leadership”!

At first, the email sounded interesting. But the more I thought about it, the less intriguing the opportunity felt.

“Why?” You may ask. “You manifested exactly what you wanted!”

True, I wanted that…a few years ago. Now, life and my desires changed. The opportunity sounded interesting. But interesting isn’t enough. I know if an opportunity doesn’t feel like a “Hell Yes”, it’s a “Hell no!”, no matter how good it sounds.

The real opportunity…

Given where I am, I wrote the sender telling him I wasn’t interested for several reasons. Then I thought about this experience and saw the gold in it.

I thought about the mechanics of this manifestation, what I did, or more important, what I didn’t do, and how it unfolded. Here’s what I saw:

  1. I created the desire our of my then, now, the told the story of that desire
  2. The desire felt exciting at the time and I had sincere interest in it.
  3. Then, I totally forgot about it. I didn’t stew on it, I didn’t do any processes to amplify the desire or the fulfillment, I used no affirmations. I let it go.
  4. This is important: Fulfillment took a while. During that time I felt no impatience about getting anywhere, which allowed me to relax and let things unfold.
  5. As a result of all the above, the story manifested into a reality, with me not doing anything to “make it happen”.

This result typifies what I’d call perfect manifestation technique. No focus on “when” or “how”. No trying to make it happen. Total surrender and…fulfillment…with no effort on my part.

This manifestation also lets me know just because a manifestation fulfills itself doesn’t mean I need to step into it. Manifestations represent sign posts along my unfolding path to expansion, which has no end.

That means I face continual streams of unfolding desires, some I’ll embrace, others I’ll pass by.

Today far more interesting unfolding desires keep me excited about my now and the future. I enjoy watching all desires unfold though, whether I embrace them or not, knowing they all come with teachings which make me a better, deliberate creator.

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How Positive Stories Make Happy Days Even Better

Photo by Devin Avery on Unsplash

Everything and everyone enjoys a oneness which, when telling positive stories, gets confirmed in delightful ways. Tuning ones self through positive storytelling practices, more such delights reveal themselves.

I like when this happens. It confirms what I know. The more it happens, the more confirmation I get. This blog celebrates such confirmations. Sharing what I know amplifies my awareness. It heightens my sensitivity. So I see more such experiences. More such experiences creates positive realities we talk about at The Transamorous Network.

Since I practice what we teach, my life includes many examples proving that statement. It includes so many examples, I find life joyful and I find me deserving. In that deservedness, I relax into grace. In that grace, life gets really good.

Because in grace, in that relaxing perspective, I see my desires fulfill themselves. I walk in perpetual bliss, knowing all works out in my eternity. Standing in that, evidence of my blessedness reveals itself to me near constantly.

One way that happens involves examples proving we all are one. They happen all the time in everyone’s life. But often, they get called coincidence. They show up and people feel them. But they pass them off, ignore them, or see them, but disregard the message. That’s why so many lives fall short of people’s expectations.

Virtuous upward spiral of great good

All That Is shows itself in billions of little things. Little happenings people ignore in their busy, nose-to-the-grindstone lives. But when someone stops and focuses on such little things, they begin something wonderful.

In giving attention to them, they exalt them for the joyful All That Is expression they represent. In that exaltation they open themselves to bigger things.

Before long, what they want starts showing up too. Fulfilled desires show themselves and their recipients understand their worthiness. That’s why recognizing these little things carries such weight.

In their acknowledgment sparks the virtuous spiral leading not only to self-fulfilling desires, but to joyful lives.

So every chance I get I exalt these little happenings for what they are: gracious, loving expressions created by All That Is just for me.

Two examples back to back

Two such happenings showed themselves in the same day recently. On Thursdays in summer, when days fill with warm temperatures, clear, blue skies and most people confine themselves in temperature-controlled offices, I ride my bike to the beach.

There I set up a shelter, blanket and chair. I take my computer, phone, creature comforts such as water and food and a good read with me. Typically I spend nearly all day there, marveling at my leisure life and earth’s abundant beauty.

One Thursday I invited a friend. She owns no bike so we agreed she’d meet me there. Knowing we’d need more water, I asked if she’d swing by my place and grab an extra bottle I left on the porch just before I started my bike journey. She said yes.

The ride to the beach I enjoy includes a 14 mile one-way trek. Sometimes I take potty breaks along the way. Especially if I’ve had a lot of water. So nothing unusual occurred to me when I pulled up to a port-a-potty in a park about a quarter of the way to the beach. I rested my bike on the port-a-potty’s back wall, went inside and did my business.

Me mugging for the camera in front of the port-a-potty I just used.

While exiting the John, I got an impulse. It said at that moment “text your housemates. Let them know why a bottle of water is on the porch.”

All That Is coordinates just for me

So I did so. I texted my housemates, told them about the bottle and got ready to continue my ride.

But one of my housemates texted back immediately. Here’s a screen shot of my text and what she wrote in reply. Then my acknowledgment of what happened.

A housemate and I communicating in synch with the Universe and me celebrating that oneness.

My housemate didn’t catch what I saw. Or maybe she ignored how significant the experience was. I didn’t ignore it, obviously. Instead, I reveled in it because I knew All That Is, my Inner Being and the Universe coordinated that exchange just for me.

I do love it when such things happen. Every time they do, I amplify the experience by acknowledging it, celebrating it and then replaying the experience over and over. That way, I prepare myself for future such experiences.

Which is exactly what happened later that day.

More blessedness evidence

I enjoyed my day with my friend at the beach. We talked about our spiritual practices and watched Osprey play in the sky. She got sunburned. I got to eat her fruit. She brought more than she could eat but we had plenty of water. 😊

My bike ride home left me happy and well-exercised. Summer days last well into the evening, so when I got home at around 9 p.m., the sun hung low in the sky. As it set and time to button up the house approached, I got the impulse to do something one of my housemates typically does.

Each evening we close up part of the house so we aren’t disturbed by people using that room. It requires closing the doors to that room.

My impulse said “go upstairs and close the doors.”

I typically, but not always, follow my impulses immediately and encourage my clients do the same as well. Doing that puts one in synch with the reason one gets an impulse. That way one rendezvous with manifestations coordinated on one’s behalf. The Universe blesses all of us all day, every day this way. That’s why tuning one’s self to hear impulses carries so much importance.

After all, if you can’t hear the impulse to act, how can you follow it?

A second awesome outcome

My room takes up half the basement space. I started walking through the other part of the basement and up the stairs when a message notification pinged on my phone. I checked the phone. Nick, another of my housemates sent a text. Here’s our exchange:

I didn’t text back my excitement at receiving Nick’s text. But I recognized the synchronicity. I received an impulse moments before he texted what he was unable to do. You can bet I was excited. Two times in the same day! Awesome!

If we let it in, we will see the universe constantly shows us how it loves us, has its gaze upon us and wants us to know that. It always communicates how blessed we are.

But if we don’t let it in, such evidence goes unnoticed. Or acknowledged as coincidence, something far less grand than what’s actually happening.

Telling positive stories tunes me in so I see these events as they are: beautiful evidence of my blessedness. More such events happen these days, showing me I’m riding that upward spiral to more and greater outcomes. Outcomes aligned with my fulfilling desire. Including meeting that romantic partner I’m becoming a match to.

I’m excited for more evidence that I’m at one with All That Is.

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A Trans-attracted Man Shares His Powerful Freedom

We love it when a transamorous man publicly declares his love of transgender women. That’s our goal at The Transamorous Network: inspiring more men along their trans-chaser-to-transamory journey to drop their shame and publicly own how amazing being transamorous is.

Case in point: Corey Delano.

While many battled fear and insecurity around COVID-19 in the last 18 months, Corey decided sharing his love of transgender women felt right. So not only did the highly-certified technician do so, he did it grandly…on YouTube.

Having posted 10 months ago, Corey’s video racked up almost 100,000 views so far. And while almost 100,000 doesn’t make his video “viral”, as far as we’re concerned, that’s a healthy viewership for the trans/trans-attracted community.

Corey’s straightforwardness endears him to his viewers. He makes no bones about his attraction, even when acknowledging he may get negative responses.

“I don’t care what the general population things about me.” He says.

When I sifted through the video’s over 2,000 comments (in 10 months!), most seemed quite supportive. The video garnered over 16K thumbs up compared to a measly 158 thumbs down. An impressive ratio.

We want to amplify Corey’s message because it bears repeating.

No shame, just glory

Corey’s message: no shame exists in your trans-attraction. It’s natural and wholesome.

We’ll add: the only reason you feel shame about your trans-attraction owes itself to what you bring to it in your thoughts.

Shame tells trans-attracted men what they’re thinking about their natural attraction doesn’t line up with what they really know at the core of who they are. When a guy tells stories like “my friends will ridicule me”, or, “I’ll lose my job”, or, “Am I gay?” when feeling arousal over transgender women, of course they’ll feel shame.

They’ll also feel embarrassment, insecurity, fear, judgement…and many other emotions. All these emotions tell the thinker, what they’re thinking is bogus.

Our clients discover freedom from all these negative emotions once they start telling positive stories about their attractions. Such freedom not only makes finding wholesome, strong, lovely transgender women possible. It also turns every other aspect of life in better directions.

That’s why our clients report specific and general improvements in their lives. They also find more empowerment and happiness.

Listen how Corey’s confidence, honesty and certainty comes through along with the words he’s sharing. It’s the message we share too.

We’re eager to see more men like Corey come forward.