How To Meet Your Match - The Transamorous Network

April 4, 2023February 10, 2023

The Best Way To Improved Transgender Lives

Many trans-attracted men and transgender women have a hard time with this because it sounds so unbelievably “absurd”. And yet, there’s ample evidence supporting the notion. The notion that the fastest way to a better life, whether it’s finding a partner, having family accept us or finding more freedom in society, comes from first accepting how life is now.

Now, some transgender women who come to this story will push hard against this. Their experience seemingly shows them the best way to change a life situation is to push against it, resist it, protest about it.

But one of life’s many paradoxes is, it is the accepting of what is that makes change happen faster. And, in every case where change happens, that’s what makes it happen. Even when it looks like that’s not happening.

An old client of mine found this to be the case. After a l-o-n-g period of her family disowning her, she recently IM’d me with delightful news:

A former client realizes a long-held desire. Her family had disowned her. But now, after practicing what we offer at The Transamorous Network, she’s manifested a long-held wish.

Make peace release resistance

Persistent negative experiences, especially involving other people, remain persistent because we focus on trying to change the experience. But the problem with changing the experience involves why we want to do that. Typically, humans want change because they don’t like what they have. Trans-attracted men feel shame about their trans-attraction, for example. They don’t want to feel that awful emotion. So they try changing what they are.

But if they make peace with their trans-attraction, “shame” gets replaced with “being ok with what is.” That making peace eliminates one’s focus on the unwanted experience. Eventually “being ok” allows the person to explore their bogus stories about trans-attraction. Stories like “I must be gay” or, “my family will disown me”, under dispassionate scrutiny can then turn into more empowering stories.

In the absence of resistance, change will show up. Especially when the person focuses on what they want, while being ok with what they have.

That’s part of the practice I share with my clients. As simple as it seems, it has powerful, enduring force. Force born of what creates and maintains the Universe.

Future improvement

The same goes with transgender women. If we want love from men, love that looks like what we want, we must stop looking at experiences that don’t match that. We also need to stop complaining about those experiences. Complaining is focus. Negative focus. Negative focus amplifies that which we complain about. Since the Universe gives us what we focus on, not what we want, the Universe in this situation will give us more to complain about.

But when we come to peace with experiences we’re having and revel in the reality that we’re creating those experiences, we embrace our power. And there, future experiences MUST look different. Especially if we focus on what we want, instead of what we don’t.

Abraham, one of my spiritual guides, putting it plainly. Improvement happens speedily when we accept our present.

We must stop complaining. Focus on what we want instead. Appreciate, or at the very least, accept what we have. For the change we want can’t happen so long as we resist what we have.

But in the acceptance, we come into eventual new futures. Futures aligned with everything we want. It’s the Charmed Life I write about on my other blog.

Having trouble not complaining? Give me a shoutout. I can help!

March 21, 2023March 16, 2023

Get Our 1:1 Matchmaking Service at 50 Percent Off!!

It’s spring everybody!

And whether it’s the birds or the bees or humans or trees….It’s love season! Let’s get you some!

For a limited time and for limited peeps, we’re offering a 50 percent discount on our 1:1 Matchmaking services. Trans-Attracted men can get our exclusive, effective, guaranteed 1:1 service for $100 a month (original subscriptions: $200/mo). Transgender people get the same great services for $75 a month (normally $150/mo). That amounts to a $14/hr session rate for men and a $10/hr session rate for transgender women.

We haven’t offered a discount…ever. Five slots are open starting TODAY for each category, so, claim your spot by selecting your option below and hitting that subscribe button now.

After selecting your category and completing the subscription we’ll redirect you to our calendar where you can schedule you monthly session date and time. Then you’re set!

DOES IT WORK?

Yes! I guarantee it too! But if you’re curious about the process go here and read about how it works. Or read the real life expressions of appreciation below.

(ABOVE) A trans-attracted client raving over how his life has changed.

Read a long-form testimonial of a transgender woman who not only found her match, but married him…all as a result of the practice!

(ABOVE) Another trans-attracted client expressing appreciation after successfully eliminating ideas of committing suicide from his life over his trans-attraction.

(ABOVE) A trans-attracted client expresses appreciation in an unique way…

(ABOVE) My very first transgender client thanking me via Facebook for changing her life for the better. She now sails around the world with her lover on a sailboat!

Of course, you can contact me with any questions, or schedule a FREE trial 1:1 to ask in person.

February 14, 2023December 31, 2022

A Transgender Match Exists For Every Type Of Guy

It’s easy finding our match when we understand that our stories determine who we’re meeting. This applies whether we’re transgender or trans-attracted.

But in this post, let’s look specifically at trans-attracted men looking for a transgender partner. What I’m sharing today applies equally to transgender women looking for a partner. In short, stories create reality. And when our stories contradict what we want, we can’t get what we want, no matter how hard we try. Not until we do something about the stories we’re telling.

For example, many trans-attracted men look for transgender women who will top them. This is an extremely triggering thing for many transgender women. But not all of them.

The reason some transgender women get triggered so strongly when guys express this legitimate desire, makes sense when we understand it. Some (not all) transgender women tell extremely disempowering stories about the penis that came with their male body. Such stories create equally extreme negative emotions. The psychological community calls these negative emotions “dysphoria”.

But all that’s happening is the woman is confronting all the stories in her head about her body AND what she knows herself to be. She’s focusing on what she doesn’t want (the penis) instead of what she wants. Doing so, she amplifies the negative experience. So uncomfortable the amplification can get, that she literally might want to cut her penis off. Or commit suicide. Or she might vomit any time she has a penis-stimulated orgasm. Like this transgender woman explains:

Self-loathing meets itself

Meanwhile, trans-attracted guys experience similar situations. His negative stories about his attraction for transgender women causes in him equally strong negative emotions. So instead of embracing what he wants and thinking about what he wants in a positive way, he will amplify his own discomfort. Do that long enough and he, too, will consider suicide.

Yet, the guy can’t deny his attraction because it is an innate part of who he is! Just as the transgender woman can’t escape the fact that she is trans. Even if she’s 100 percent deep stealth. See where this is going?

The transgender woman focuses on her hatred of her penis. The guy equally struggles with his trans attraction. At the same time, both want a relationship. So what should we expect happens? Of course, these two people will find each other because they are perfect matches, reflecting to each other their own lack of self-acceptance combined with their matching desires. It’s not rocket science!

It’s no wonder the guy’s intense negative focus causes him to express, to the trans woman, however clumsily and even insensitively, his desire to be topped or to suck a dick. He has no consideration for how the trans woman might be feeling about her penis. He’s too preoccupied. But get this: the transgender woman equally has no compassion for what the guy is going through either. For the same reason.

Both parties are oblivious to the other person’s experience. It’s no wonder a firestorm happens when these two come together. It’s no wonder neither has compassion for the other. Still, they are a perfect match! But that match is based in extreme negativity.

How to meet that better match

Getting out of this conundrum is simple. The answer for both parties is getting out of preoccupation with negative focus/stories. Then, instead, focusing on what each party wants. Not what they don’t want. This is harder to do than to explain. But every client I work with eventually gets there.

Meanwhile, trans-attracted male bottoms, plenty of women out there LOVE their penis. For your viewing pleasure, listen to two of them talk about it themselves. Here’s the first. Here’s the second. Both are categorized on YouTube as “age restricted”. So I can’t embed them here. By the way, there are plenty of men who prefer post-op women. Men who will fuck them like they fuck cis-gender woman. There’s a match for everyone, in other words.

Everyone can enjoy anything we want. It starts with sorting out our stories, then focusing on stories supporting what we want, instead of focusing on stories about what we don’t. Do that and our lives improve dramatically. Then eventually we’ll meet our matches. No exceptions.

But if we wallow in stories about things we hate, dislike, wish weren’t true, etc., we get stuck.

Feeling stuck? Let’s get you unstuck.

January 17, 2023December 1, 2022

Finally A Transgender Woman’s Advice Speaks Truth

So many transgender women blame men for their dating experiences. I hear their complaints often through correspondence here at The Transamorous Network.

Some say men only want dick picks. Once they get sex they want, the women say, the men ghost them. Transgender women complain about how men won’t date them in public. They also complain about men who “are otherwise good men, but are “too weak” to fully own their full selves.”

Meanwhile, I must sound like a broken record. I’m sure some roll their eyes when I say “you meet these kinds of men because you’re a match to them. Change the stories about men you’re meeting and you’ll meet different men. If you don’t, you’ll keep meeting these men you revile.”

Here’s a perfect example of a typical response I get:

Well, dear transgender women readers, if you won’t listen to me, perhaps you’ll listen to a fellow transgender woman. This person is not a client. And yet what she shares is exactly what I tell my clients repeatedly.

In a story she wrote for Halloween, she acknowledged her past experiences which showed her how she perfectly matched men she met. Not only does she describe it perfectly, she also acknowledges the fact: every transgender woman creates every situation they experience.

Indeed. And that includes men they meet. Here’s the author’s own words:

“…I was…attracting the wrong kind of men. It turns out that you get what you fish for. If you use trampy bait, you will get trampy men. If you’re advertising sex, men will expect it.”

The gold is within

In other words, who we’re being, creates experiences we get. If we’re getting a certain kind of man, we’re creating him. So the solution is do something about who we’re being. Complaining about what we’re getting won’t work!

This transgender woman shares so much gold. The story is worth reading in its entirety. In it she confronts her own stories, who she was being, and in doing so, she owns having created her past experiences. Then she changes who she was being, first by examining what stories she put out in the past, then conjuring new stories about what she wanted.

Is it any wonder this transgender woman is in a relationship? Here’s some more gold:

“What I need to consider is what do I want a man to see when he does notice me? What kind of man am I interested in? That just gets me back to understanding myself. What do I like and what do I want to call into my life? Do I want to call in a seedy one-night stand or a man who is interested in some deeper part of me? In my case, I decided on the latter.”

A human being is a powerful, eternal expression of All That Is. In that expression we enjoy full free will. We can create any experience we desire. No one else does it but us.

The question remains then: when transgender women blame men for their experiences, who really is to blame? Is there really blame to assign? Or is it really the case of an eternal being (the trans woman), having chosen to come into the world as trans, figuring out the best way to joy, but getting stuck in her shoddy creations?

Those are questions every transgender woman should seriously consider.

December 13, 2022October 21, 2022

The Best Trans Love Comes from Happy Thoughts About Love

Many trans-attracted guys and transgender women ask me how to get love they want. Some aren’t ready for my answers. Others, become clients. Those folks not only live happier lives, they eventually get what they want.

They get a lover, or a job. They stop thinking of killing themselves. In short, they become happy.

Sometimes clients will ask why what they want isn’t happening. I tell them it is happening. When the client can’t see it happening, it means they’re telling stories which block their perception.

Whether we perceive our progress or not makes all the difference. Every thing we want does manifest. But often, important “manifestations” slip by our awareness. For example, most transgender women will not celebrate the thought “My joyful, attractive lover is on the way”. They’re too focused on not having that joyful attractive lover. Or they complain about men they’re meeting.

Chasers, scared guys and guys just looking for dick pics abound. When they fill transgender women’s dating lives, it’s easy thinking they’re the only men out there. It’s true for trans-attracted men too. When trans-attracted men can’t find a transgender woman who will take them seriously, or can’t find any in their area, it’s easy to say “there are no transgender women near me.”

The problem is whatever we look at or talk about becomes our reality. So when a guy shows up representing an improvement on the kinds of guys the woman usually meets, she’ll look at that guy through her past experience. She will look over the improvement. Then say “nothing is changing”, or, like a recent client: “I always meet these kinds of guys.”

And when a transgender woman appears in the man’s neighborhood, he’ll literally not see her.

Incremental improvement

Meanwhile, improvement, evidenced in the new guy, still exists. So does the transgender woman living in our neighborhood. Just because we don’t see them, doesn’t mean they’re not real. But if our perception stays stuck on past negative experience, then for all intents and purposes, they’re not real. We’ll keep creating more negative experiences instead of seeing what we want coming true.

Which explains why so many transgender women and trans-attracted men struggle with everything from negative self image to negative dating experiences. Or no dating experiences at all. Loneliness, depression and sadness or dismal online dating results all indicate chronic focus on past negative experience.

But something cool happens the moment a transgender woman or trans-attracted guy changes their perspective. In that moment, a new dimension shows itself. In that new dimension, improvement shines everywhere. It was always there. But with our changed perspective, we now see it. We see our men getting better. And we start seeing transgender women everywhere.

We change our perspective through stories we tell about what we’re looking at. So long as we tell stories about things we don’t like, we keep seeing those things. We keep experiencing them too. But when we focus on improvement and talk about how improved our life becomes, we support more improvement showing up in our perspective.

*Anyone can find that partner they want (Photo by* *Caleb Ekeroth*)

Evidence abounds

For example, one of my clients, who I’ll call Karen, dates exclusively online. These days she only does so when feeling lonely or depressed. That’s improvement. Another improvement though, shows up in men she’s meeting. Karen is on her 52d week of practice. She’s improved her stories a lot. But she still has many other stories needing cleaning up.

Nevertheless, she acknowledges small improvements in men she meets online. She really wants to meet men in person. But for now, the story “I can’t find a man locally” dominates her attention. So she doesn’t notice when men compliment her or strike up conversations with her, which they do often whenever she goes out.

Karen didn’t agree when I told her men she meets online have improved. After detailed analysis, however, she couldn’t disagree. The men still ghost her. Or they are early in their trans-attraction and thus unwilling to meet in person. But Karen had to agree, they improved in terms of their willingness to talk with her, the things they had in common with her, and how they treated her.

Noticing incremental improvement is crucial. That’s because that’s how all manifestations happen, including relationship manifestations. It’s also crucial because noticing that improvement adds momentum behind the improvement. Without noticing the improvement, or worse, noticing no improvement, we perpetuate what we’re getting; whether that’s sucky men, crazy transgender women, or no relationship nibbles at all.

Getting what you want can be hard when we keep looking at what we don’t want. (Photo by Adrian Swancar on Unsplash)

How to not get your true love

Appreciating incremental improvement also holds back impatience. Impatience happens when we overly focus on the relationship we want. We recognize it’s not there. Then lose sight of the incremental improvement. Impatience tells us we’re creating a reality we don’t want. Usually that means more of what we now have.

It’s also important knowing what “manifestations” look like. Impatience is a manifestation. So is recognizing the impatience. Doing something about it is a manifestation too. Appreciating ourselves for doing that is too. It’s important to understand everything is a manifestation. It’s important because even an emotional improvement is progress. And going from impatience to appreciation represents an improvement.

Anyone wanting a relationship they think they can’t have stands amidst manifestations telling them something they really want to know. Those manifestations include negative emotions they feel while standing where they stand. I help clients practice everything I shared in this post. Not only do clients live happy lives as a result, they also eventually find the guy or girl of their dreams.

It doesn’t happen in an instant. It happens gradually. The good news is, on the way to that ultimate relationship, my clients find their lives becoming increasingly happier. Want what they have? Contact me.