TL;DR: This post compares two clients—Cliff and Justin—to explore the real meaning of trans-attraction. Through their stories, the author reveals key vibrational differences and offers support for men ready to find clarity.
In a recent post, I introduced two men — Romero and Cliff — who believed they were trans-attracted. But closer exploration revealed something else. Romero was simply trying to find a better label than “gay.” Cliff, while deeply in love with his wife, found himself “curious.”
Both used trans experiences to better understand themselves — but neither fit the profile of a truly trans-attracted man. This week, I want to introduce someone who does. I’ll call him “Justin”. His story draws a clear line between trans-attraction and everything else.
When Curiosity Isn’t Curiosity—It’s Clarity
Justin came to me in the midst of a painful divorce. It wasn’t his first. In fact, he described a long trail of relationships—all with cis women—all ending in emotional wreckage.
From the outside, you might think Justin had “bad luck.” But like every client I’ve ever worked with, Justin wasn’t unlucky. He was vibrationally unaware. He carried unacknowledged beliefs about himself, women, relationships, and life. Beliefs he picked up during childhood. Beliefs that haunted him. And those beliefs made him a poor match for the kind of love he was idealizing.
Because yes—Justin is a romantic. He wants love. He believes in long-term relationships. But belief in romance alone won’t get you one. You have to be vibrationally aligned to receive that kind of experience.
Justin wasn’t. At least, not yet.
From Numbing to Awakening
Like many men going through a breakup, Justin turned to porn. In his case, trans porn. But trans content wasn’t new to him. He had been drawn to it—compulsively—since he was a teen. This time, though, it led somewhere different. It didn’t numb him. It woke him up.
That’s when he found The Transamorous Network. From our first conversation, it was clear: Justin wasn’t just “curious.” He wasn’t trying to reframe a kink and wasn’t escaping a label. He wasn’t using trans women to test something else. He was, in fact, done with cis women. He was done pretending he could go back. That’s because he felt a deep, soulful pull toward trans women — to the exclusion of cis women.
That’s the hallmark of real trans-attraction.
Sure, Justin still finds cis women attractive. But when he pictures a future partner, it’s always a trans woman. No contest. No confusion. And no toggling back and forth.
Cliff, on the other hand, still feels most connected to his wife. And that’s ok. His trans experiences opened curiosity — but not clarity. That’s the difference between trans attraction…and something else.
Why Justin’s Current Relationship Still Might Not Work
Like many men in the early stages of discovering their trans-attraction, Justin entered what I call the “tranny chaser” phase. It’s a real, early-stage experience. The attraction is so strong it becomes manic. Men in this phase often flood themselves with porn, escorts, and fantasies — believing it’s finally the love they’ve been missing. But more often than not, it’s another loop. A vibrational replay of the very same stories that haunted them in cis relationships — just now, with different bodies.
Justin is currently involved with a trans escort I’ll call Marge. She lives in Mexico. She’s beautiful. And she’s expensive. She’s also a perfect vibrational match for where Justin currently stands.
Marge struggles with substance abuse. Justin once did too. Marge avoids emotional transparency. Justin still wrestles with that. Marge is sexually compulsive. Justin knows that dance intimately. This relationship, like all relationships, is a mirror. A mirror that’s purposeful.
They’re together to show what each needs to see in themselves. That’s the point.
He Wants Romance. He’s Getting Reflection.
Justin believes he’s in love. He thinks this might be “the one.” And maybe, it could be. But only if he’s willing to do the real work. He must stop trying to “get” a trans woman… And start owning who he is, vibrationally. In that way he’ll clean up his stories and stabilize his momentum. In that way he’ll become a match to the kind of love he actually wants.
Until then, his relationships will keep showing him… himself.
You might see yourself in Justin. Maybe you’ve been married to a cis woman, and it’s not working. Maybe you’ve tried to suppress your attraction to trans women. Or maybe you’ve been binging porn or seeing escorts… and wondering what that says about you.
Or maybe you’re more like Cliff: Curious, unsure. Hoping, perhaps, to explore — but not ready to leave the life you have. Both paths are valid. But they’re not the same. And you owe it to yourself to find out where you really stand.
If you see yourself in Justin or Cliff — or somewhere in between — let’s talk. You don’t have to do this alone. You don’t have to guess what it means. And you don’t have to keep spinning in a loop. Book a free private consultation with me. Clarity is the first step toward freedom.
And freedom… feels so much better. Visit The Transamorous Network and book your session today.
I really want to interact with Trans-women but I don’t know where to start or how to get started in my area by an app maybe or something like a site where you can find a place to talk to the girls and build up a relationship and a rapport.
I’m of the mindset that I treat people in the way I would want to be treated myself. In response to the blog post narrative I would have no interest in being occupied by what labels are given to you by what you are doing. You are a pair of consenting adults who are enjoying themselves and each other’s company.
If you have any suggestions on how I can get started with meeting up with trans ladies, please let me know 👌
Thank you for sharing your openness and curiosity. That mindset—treating people the way you want to be treated—is already a wonderful starting point.
One thing I always remind men is that trans women are everywhere. If you’re not noticing them in your area, it may have less to do with them not being there and more to do with the beliefs you’re carrying. When we believe something is missing, life reflects that belief back to us. When we shift into knowing what we want is already around us, those opportunities begin to show up.
I generally don’t recommend starting with dating apps. Most of the people on those platforms—men and women alike—are coming from a place of desperation or insecurity, and you don’t want to line up with that energy. A better path is to first build positive beliefs about yourself and about the kind of person you want to meet. When you do that, you naturally become a match to confident, self-assured trans women who also know their own worth.
Yes, this approach takes longer. But the outcome is far better, because when you’re standing in that confident vibration, you’ll meet women who reflect that back to you. In those moments, you won’t need to worry about what to say—the perfect words will flow naturally, because you’ll be in alignment. She will be too, and that’s what makes for a genuine, lasting connection.
So the best “site” to start with isn’t online—it’s your own vibration. Nurture your confidence, your self-acceptance, and your clarity. When you do, the right trans women will appear, and building rapport will feel natural, effortless, and joyful.
Thank you for getting back to me. And thank you too for the advice. I live on the outskirts of Blackpool in the North West of England and there is a popular gay/trans et al and I have never ventured into any bars or clubs to see if I can make acquaintances with someone who is happy to be in my company. About 15 years ago now, as a group with my friends, we went to a club which was classed as a ‘gay club’ and because it was open until 6am we were in there to carry on the night. I remember having a couple of conversations with a couple of trans ladies and at the time I felt comfortable and interested in getting to know them, I think I even shared a kiss with one lady. However, I didn’t build up my confidence and attend the bars which in hindsight is what I should’ve done.
I don’t know how to explain it but I feel like I might not be able to explain myself to anyone but then again that’s just nerves that you always get. I would be interested to know how the transition is mentally and emotionally impactful and how you are able to handle the challenges of the situation. Is that a topic that is encouraged or something that is not politely discussed until the person is ready to share with you?
Any thoughts or suggestions or ideas that you might have to make sure that I am able to be the best and most well mannered person I can be is gratefully accepted 🤗
Yeah, confidence – predominately in yourself – is key to spontaneity. Spontaneity wrt going someplace you may have never been before, and wrt being able to easily strike up conversation. Nerves aren’t something someone “always” gets, unless they’ve conditioned themselves through their stories to believe that’s what happens. You can “always” have the experience of being easy, light and fun in social settings (and that’s not about being an extrovert). It all depends on what stories you’re telling. Which brings me to your question.
When the trans woman feels your comfort and ease with yourself, she’s more likely to allow inquiries that ordinarily she would not. That said, most of them would like to have someone who is interested in them in that way, so long as your interest isn’t novelty, but actually genuine interest to know them. Usually, however, the trans woman and the guy both are a match, meaning they both are not comfortable with themselves and thus create “awkward” space between them. In that case, it’s tough to have meaningful conversations, which is why you’re referring to it not being polite to talk about such things. IOW, it all matters on how you’re being as to whether you can put the other person at ease. Of course, they have to be willing to be at ease as well…
Your desire to be “the best and most well mannered person I can be” is admirable. I would suggest you get to know yourself as the pure positive, loving being that you are, to move more into gaining confidence in yourself as that. When you do that, you won’t have to go to bars, where mostly insecure people go to “loosen up” with alcohol. Instead, when you’re at ease with yourself, you’ll meet trans women in ordinary places….on the street, at the bus stop, in libraries or other public venues. You’ll meet them where it is easy to strike up the conversation, rather than needing a drink to loosen up.
Have fun with this. Your interest is wholesome and you’re offering trans women the love they deserve. In that way, you’re serving them. And that’s good.
Thank you 🙏 im excited to embark on this journey and enjoy the experience and make some great friends at the very least. I’ll keep you posted on how things go and what I encountered 👌