Telling negative stories gives rise to all kinds of emotions. Emotions tell people crucial information. So I find it incredibly amazing hardly anyone understands why emotions exist. Especially the emotion “depression”.
Soon though more people will find out how important emotions are.
People struggle believing when I tell them their stories create their reality. Especially when they think about really bad things from their past. No one wants to know they own creating really bad past experiences. But everyone creates ALL their experiences. No one else. When a person understands how, then leverages that, freedom becomes theirs. Even freedom from depression.
Evidence surrounds us all
Evidence proving your stories create reality surrounds you. I assert that everyone wants to know how they can enjoy freedom and happiness. Everyone wants that lover, or that job, or that amount of money they think will make them happy. I find it humorous then when I tell someone how happiness happens, and the explanation goes over their head. Or they think I’m “mansplaining”, even though I’m nonbinary. 🤷🏽♂️
Knowing stories create your reality and leveraging that gives you all the happiness you can stand and then some. Such knowledge offers immense power and freedom. For if reality springs from stories, and it does, then you can create any reality you want.
Think about that:any reality you want exists. It can show up as your life. Learning how that happens turns “can show up as your life” to “is your life”. Doesn’t everyone want that? One would think!
A client sent me the following video. Hardly anyone would live without money these days, let alone in a cave like this guy does. But I’d wager everyone would enjoy freedom this guy experiences if giving up things money affords wasn’t necessary.
https://youtu.be/chVKpyjmE6w
Negative stories cause depression
His life shows exactly how negative stories not only lead to depression, they also can lead to suicide. At 1:20, he shares how he started thinking negative thoughts about life and society. “Thoughts” and “stories” are the same thing. So he started telling negative stories about life.
In a short while, he went from feeling good about himself and life, into depression. His father thought his son’s concerns about his homosexuality had something to do with it. He said his son feared his family would disown him because of their Christian views. Negative stories about his homosexuality, his family and life in general all led him to suicidal thoughts.
Thankfully, though he thought about killing himself, he never did. Instead he changed his stories.
Now he lives, in his words, like birds. “Birds have no worries,” He says. “I’m employed by the Universe. Since everywhere I go is the Universe, I’m always secure.”
Not only does this guy now live secure, he also lives free. And gets everything he wants.
Free and getting everything one wants. Everyone can live this way.
Getting all you want
Hardly anyone wants to live in a cave and that’s “o-cave”.😊 But pretty much everyone want’s what they want. Not just freedom and fun and all the money they want, but also all the lovers they want. Even if that means just that one love someone pines for. Or that one love one believe does not exist.
But it does exist. So does everything everyone wants. So does everything YOU want. You just can’t see it. The only thing blocking your vision are stories you tell that create realities wherein what you want remains absent.
The video up there ⬆️⬆️⬆️ can inspire. It shows how life shapes to how you think.
So if you think no trans women live in your area, if you think men won’t love you for who and what you are, then your reality shows you that. Then you feel frustrated, lonely, sad and, maybe, depressed. You try doing things like getting on then struggling on dating sites, as your reality confirms what you think. Like this girl:
A trans woman vigorously defending her limiting beliefs.
I started The Transamorous Network as and expression of my intent to reduce the number of transgender women murdered by shame-filled trans-attracted men. These days The Transamorous Network shows men and women how to get everything they want.
It doesn’t matter what you want. Whatever it is, have it. Just tell stories consistent with what you want, not what you don’t.
It’s easy really. Depression needn’t be your reality. Or any other negative experience. Live worry-free. Like birds. Then watch how everything you want becomes yours.
In today’s world, being clear about how things happen matters more than ever. Otherwise a person gets caught up in negative events and dragged along by their sloppy story-telling. Then they get more of the same. Their lives suck and, before you know it, they’re on drugs. Or depressed, feeling powerless and, yes, out of control.
None of that need happen. Instead, why not become super human?
Trans as a super power
The responder writes:
“I do know about positive thinking, however. If you had any idea of the journey I’ve traveled to arrive at where I am as a stealth Trans woman you would know. I may as well have wanted to be the first astronaut on Mars.“
This explains why so many transamorous men, after passing through their chaser and trans-attraction phases, into transamory find trans women alluring. Sure, trans women might have penises. They might look fantastic. Maybe not.
But what trans women go through significantly distinguishes them from most cis-women. Through that path they develop extraordinary toughness, passion, intelligence, self-awareness and confidence. Some possess an aggression which sometimes serves them well. That aggression shows as success in chosen fields, making them exceptional professionally. These traits also make them excellent partners.
The person who wrote me continues:
“Meeting or finding a partner feels different. I can’t control what others do. I’m not in control of the way Trans women are stereotyped and fetishized by popular culture. How many times have I met a family member of a significant other and watched their surprise that I was “so normal.” Positive thinking has helped me ignore or tolerate or endure the discrimination and rejection. I don’t know that I have overcome it. As a good friend said, I want to be loved FOR who I am NOT IN SPITE OF IT.”
“I don’t dwell on these things, nor use them as excuses, but simply acknowledge that they are real and empathize with my sisters regarding our mutual experiences with this path.”
Her perspective is great. Yes, these things exist. But they need not shape one’s experience. Neither bigotry, chauvinism, or any other negative belief set need be something you take on. The less one cares about what another thinks or feels, even if they direct their thoughts towards you, the better one’s life goes. No exceptions.
Just because something exists doesn’t mean it deserves your attention. Being super human means being way more selective about what you see. (Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash)
Empathizing: bad idea
But the moment, you take on another’s beliefs, those beliefs start creating YOUR reality. Which is why not dwelling on (stories) like “fetishization culture” or “transphobia” serves your best interest.
What most people don’t understand is “empathy” means “aligning with another person’s story”. When one feels what another feels, both people MUST resonate with the shared story. That’s why when someone empathizes with another going through a tough time, they feel the struggle in that. Society would tell you that’s worth doing. I’m saying it’s not. Not if you want what you really want.
Far better: create your best life. Then inspire others to empathize with that. That way you lift people up. Again, when one empathizes with another’s plight, that unfortunate situation brings them down. Whether they recognize the “downing” or not.
I say, don’t bring yourself down, bring others up!
“Plights” aren’t worth empathizing with. Energetically, doing so always brings you down. Want to help someone? Uplift them.
Of course successful transgender women know about positive thinking. Especially regarding their transition success. Still, such women might feel disempowerment in other life areas. It explains why some successful trans women remain single and lonely.
Some successful people know more about “determination” and “will power” than positive thinking. This distinction reveals itself in successful people’s attitudes. Attitudes which reflect hefty doses of skepticism and resignation. Such attitudes come from struggle, working hard and other characteristics accompanying “determination” and “will power”.
These attitudes combined with often told stories about life areas not working out, reveal a lack of positivism.
You can shape others
Being trans or trans-attracted, you, dear reader, might claim positivity, yet still struggle. That’s why The Transamorous Network exists. It offers upliftment and a 100 percent success guarantee. Do what we describe and you’ll find everything you want, easy and quick.
So many think external circumstances and other people’s behaviors exist beyond their control. That belief distinguishes “Positive Thinking” from being Positively Focused.
My experience tells me a person can’t control what happens after it happens. This includes people’s behavior. No amount of positive thinking will change something that happened already.
Many people try changing people’s behavior that way. Changing people’s behavior after it shows up rarely works. When it does, it rarely lasts.
So many people tell us to be positive. But hardly anyone tells you how. But “how” is the key to being positive. We talk about “how” every week.
Effort that fails to impress
But people’s behavior comes from somewhere. All behavior starts as incipient impulse before it shows up. In other words, there’s an underlying origin of all physical phenomena, including human actions/behavior. When a person learns to leverage that, EVERYTHING that shows up shapes to that person’s desires. It does so because what they’re doing when leveraging that incipient reality is they create [shown up reality] before it shows up.
People trying to control other people’s behavior after the behavior happens, create feebly. I pasted the definition below because the it amplifies my point:
There’s no strength or force in trying to change people’s shown up behavior. But one can 100 percent convince and impress the Universe so it inspires behavior in others matching what one wants. That is, IF they discover the reality I refer to above. Then leverage it to their advantage.
Life matches what one wants when one realizes how that happens. I explain how that works every week in this blog. Most don’t understand how it works. But those who do become super human.
A transgender woman responded to a recent post of ours on Medium. The story showed how complaining about negative dating experiences creates a continuous stream of more such experiences. Here’s what she wrote:
I’m a Trans woman who has had all of the negative dating experiences you describe. Magical thinking about the universe and “man” -ifesting my partner didn’t [work for me].
I don’t believe a cisgender person [apparently she was referring to me] really knows the feeling of meeting someone, having real chemistry and then having them run away after you come out to them. A hundred times. Cisgender women are often fetishized, but Transwomen are treated like an alien sex creature. You really have zero idea, and I say this in the kindest way.
I found my partner through some luck and simple diligence. I formed a strategy and kept at it until I found someone who “saw” me, not the label. The other parts of the equation are working on yourself and being happy with who you are. Men are initially visual creatures and a grounded understanding of that reality helps too.
Here’s what I find interesting about her reply. Besides thinking I’m cis, which I’m not, her response shows exactly how what she calls “magical thinking” works. But she, like so many, believes in what other clueless people taught her. She believes in “luck” and “hard work”. Both of which can work, but as the phrase “hard work” implies, it’s no fun going that route.
And though she claims she met her partner through “luck and simple diligence”, what really happened is, she told stories that created a reality wherein she matched with the person she met.
Everyone tells stories
Whether a person believes it or not, stories and nothing else, create reality. “Beliefs” is another word for “stories”. What you believe, happens.
For example, the other day, my housemate lost her keys, including her key fob for her car. She turned the place upside down looking for her keys. But she couldn’t find them.
Why couldn’t she find them?
Because she believed her keys were lost, that’s why. In other words, no matter how hard she looked for her keys, she couldn’t find them because she created a reality in which finding her keys was impossible.
About 10 days later, after spending $285 for a replacement car key fob, the keys showed up.
Where were they? Some mysterious, really secret hiding place? No. They were in a jacket pocket in her closet.
They were there…yet not there.
She “found” her keys because she no longer stood in stories creating a “lost” reality. Instead, she gave up believing she lost them. Then her broader perspective guided her to what she wanted: her keys.
I’m sure you’ve experienced this too. I have. So have several other clients. A person can’t live an experience that doesn’t line up with their beliefs. The same holds true about finding a lover.
It’s a secret hidden in plain sight: reality springs from what you think about. (Photo: Photo by Kristina Flour on Unsplash)
Man-ifestation and luck
So how did this transgender woman discover her partner through telling better stories even though she doesn’t know how that works? Let’s take a look. Here’s what she wrote:
“I found my partner through some luck and simple diligence. I formed a strategy and kept at it until I found someone who “saw” me, not the label. The other parts of the equation are working on yourself and being happy with who you are. Men are initially visual creatures and a grounded understanding of that reality helps too.”
First, I don’t know if her partner is male or female, that said, she starts by acknowledging that she doesn’t really understand how it happened. I write that because she uses the term “luck”.
Luck is a word people use when describing outcomes they don’t understand. “Luck” means “success or failure apparently brought by chance rather than through one’s own actions.”
Why “luck” seems random
So luck implies something beyond one’s control. But creating reality lies within everyone’s control. Everyone creates reality according to their beliefs or stories. Not knowing how they’re doing that doesn’t mean they create reality some other way.
Since most people don’t understand how they create reality, they think when things go well for them, they experience “good” luck. They see luck as a random event. Being random, they also believe in “bad” luck. But bad things happening happen the same way good things happen.
Both kinds of “luck” happen in line with what people believe. Most people’s beliefs contain a few stories consistent with what they want. But far more beliefs people hold revolve around unwanted subjects. Things like racism, inequality, taxes, money shortages, fears about their health or a loved one’s health, worries about being lonely, anxiety about work, negative feelings about people who don’t share their beliefs or values, etc.
No wonder people’s lives contain so much random occurrence. It looks random, but randomness happens because people don’t think thoughts consistently about what they want. Their thoughts contain a hodgepodge of random thoughts. Thus their reality looks random.
Man-ifestation and hard work
Nearly everyone thinks diligence and hard work produce results. When people see success happening with my project Copiosis, they often say “good for you, you worked hard. You deserve this.”
But I don’t work hard to make Copiosis – or anything else I want – happen. Working hard makes getting what you want hard. Which is why so many don’t get what they want – in love, and, on the way to not getting that, experience anxiety, frustration and loneliness.
Later in the paragraph we’re looking at, the writer says: I formed a strategy and kept at it until I found someone who “saw” me, not the label.” I assert what happened here was, she listened to her inner guidance as well as looked at what worked for her in the past. She saw her past successes and applied similar methods. But most important, she started telling a different story: I want someone who sees me, not the label.
A transgender woman (not the writer) telling negative stories…and getting commensurate results.
All that other stuff she did falls into the “doing” category. Doing NEVER produces results, although it looks like that. Doing or action puts a person in a certain location, time and space-wise, where an “unfolding” happens. The unfolding includes circumstances and people coming together in a timing which creates desired results. All that timing and unfolding first gets created in stories. Then associated components assemble into manifestation. Doing happen so you rendezvous with other components as the final necessary component.
Emotions are key
Think about it. Very likely, our writer’s strategy implementation left her feeling discouraged at times as she met potential partners not yet aligned with what she wanted. Which is why she complained at first about experiencing everything I wrote about. Remember?
Yet, she still believed. She told herself a story (such as “I must be diligent and persist, I know this can work” or something like that) which changed “discouragement” into some other positive emotion, such as, maybe, at the very least, “willingness”.
Feeling willing to continue on a course feels better than feeing discouraged. So the story “I know this can work” creates a reality consistent with it: at some point evidence must show up proving that story true.
So long as she kept to that story, and entertained as little contrary stories as possible, “[Finding] someone who “saw” me, not the label.” was inevitable.
Which is exactly what happened.
Even more powerful stories
The writer next amplifies exactly the same stories I write about here all day every day:
“The other parts of the equation are working on yourself and being happy with who you are.“
Essentially she says: I became the best person I could, I found my happiness.
At The Transamorous Network we assert that a person can’t find a loving, happy, positive, successful, trustworthy, friendly, responsible partner, if they, themselves are unhappy, not loving, negative, unsuccessful and irresponsible. In other words, you must become a match to what you want. Otherwise, you’ll not get what you want.
This person did that. She focused on herself, while also putting in place processes which allowed her to feel more hope, expectation and positivity about her goal. Yes, she took action, but it sounds she told positive stories which made her feel positive expectation, which inspired actions. Then those actions led her to her desired outcomes. Outcomes which already existed!
Isn’t that what I talk about all day every day here? Of course it is.
How does that equate to the dirisive “magical thinking?”
Stories create reality. Beliefs create reality. Action doesn’t create reality. Action moves you to a place in time and space where what you want materializes. If you want a partner willing to love you in the way you want, you must become a match to that person you idealize.
Idealization isn’t bad. Idealizing gets a bad wrap because people believe idealizing is unreasonable. They discourage people from dreaming big dreams and going for those because they themselves fail at manifesting their dream.
Don’t be one of those people. Have your ideal. Be the teller of your own story. Get the happy love life you want. You do that by stories you tell, so tell the very best.
If you’re trans attracted and want that perfect partner, you first gotta understand one thing that will kibosh any intent to get what you want.
You’ll still get what you want. But it will end in sadness.
I recently chatted with a Transamorous man who experienced this first hand. He moved from trans-attraction to transamory years ago. Since living out loud and proud about what he likes, he enjoyed meeting quite attractive transgender women, some of whom he dated for years.
But each relationship left him sad. Pointing out the one thing leading to his sadness triggered tears he barely kept back. For his dating experience confirmed this one thing knocking out cold some cis-trans relationships’ potential.
That one thing really comprises two things. If you don’t know them and you’re trans attracted, you’ll not only not see it when you get what you want, you won’t keep it either.
Everyone’s a stepping stone
Transgender women experience life moving from one state to another on the way to an ideal vision of “self”. Unlike most people, their transition keeps them in near constant dissatisfaction about one thing or another. That dissatisfaction offers tremendous motivation. Especially when the woman sees potential on the horizon.
For example, some trans women aspire to professions which reward them for their extreme, post-surgery good looks, their stature and unique aspects, which make them natural runway fits. Modeling, acting or other performance professions offer such opportunity. These professions also offer wonderful life styles and, of course, lots of money. Such lifestyles also come with many gorgeous, successful men.
Others who may not meet those standards, still recognize their physical appearance exceeds those of many cis-women, making them highly desirable. Even for “straight men”, whatever that means, some transgender women turn male heads wherever they go. That makes them highly desirable…and they know it. Just ask any high-priced transgender “escort”. 😱
Many trans-attracted men target such women as their ideal partner. They wish for and idealize such women, who they often see in porn, on Only Fans, or other online venues such as Instagram or Tumblr.
But most transgender women like these, on their way to that success, still want companionship, love, attention and validation. So on their way, they’ll accept relationships with men they will eventually consider not up to the quality they know they can attract. That’s where you come in.
Transgender women like actress and vocal performer Alexandra Grey pursue, and often get, stardom. Are you really up to par with that kind of success? (Instagram)
In other words, trans-attracted men sometimes become stepping stones for these transgender women. They satisfy their companionship, attention and validation needs through you as they move towards their ideal self and their ideal lives.
Dating people temporarily needs no justification. Most relationships don’t last and aren’t meant to. That’s ok.
You must up your game
But if you want that top-shelf transgender woman and you don’t qualify yourself as top shelf, even if you get her, you won’t likely keep her.
The guy I spoke with experienced this first hand. He met a girl shortly after her transition. They connected right away, began dating and enjoyed one another.
Then COVID struck. As with many relationships, constant close proximity strained their relationship. One day, the woman told this guy some bad news. She knew she had tremendous potential as a model. What she didn’t say the guy understood instinctively. As she fulfilled that dream, her tastes, and opportunity to satisfy those tastes, would change. That meant, he no longer offered what she wanted.
I know very beautiful transgender women aspire to top shelf everything. Yes, exceptions exist. But most, I would argue, like most people, react to social conditioning. They seek what society says they should. That leaves many a regular guy shooting for such top shelf women, only to face disappointment later.
People sometimes ask “Well, Perry if your approach works, where’s your relationship?”
I tell them I’m patient. I’m in no hurry. My match and I are still becoming. We will meet when I am at my peak. That moment evolves as I write this, as I develop this platform, Positively Focused and Copiosis. Each of these grows more successful. While more people discover them, I become more well-known. Before long, large numbers of people will know me and my passions. As my passions influence the world more, I become more influential.
That notoriety will create a global awareness of who I am. That will galvanize attention from my partner, who themselves will also enjoy global notoriety, or at least be at that “level” in their own life.
In other words, I’m creating self and stature matching the person I know I eventually will partner with. I call that upping my game. A Transamorous Network client once called that “becoming the best version of me.”
Every sock meets an old shoe
Not all trans-attracted men need become movie stars, billionaires, world leaders or other kinds of influentials in order to meet their match. But if someone aspires to relationships with highly attractive, successful, intelligent, secure, confident transgender women, that person must also be attractive, successful, secure and confident.
Otherwise the two won’t match.
The good news lies in the fact that everyone comes into life with natural gifts. Nurture those and one can’t help become influential in their own way. Like this transgender woman who once also had multiple personalities. She lives out loud about this. As a result she enjoys 133,000 subscribers and helps people like her.
Trans-attraction represents one such gift. Usually, gifts come in combinations. Rarely does a person enjoy only one. So trans-attracted men all come with more than trans-attraction as a gift.
A smarmy saying offers wisdom. It goes “every old sock meets an old shoe.” It means, every person can potentially meet their match and that match can offer great satisfaction, comfort and ease. But enjoying that satisfaction first requires becoming a match to that satisfaction.
The perfect partner needn’t be a model or movie star. Fame doesn’t guarantee relationship success. But many people live far short of their ideal, leaving them desperate, insecure and unsatisfied.
Desperation, insecurity and dissatisfaction offer terrible foundations upon which to build a relationship. And, they tend to draw people living in similar states.
If you want that perfect trans girl and you, yourself, aren’t perfect (whatever that means for you), prepare for disappointment. But many sane, happy, fun, easy-going transgender women exist. They may not be models, but they can offer love, companionship, relationship and affection.
And in the end, when all the glam fades and it’s just you two, what really matters? Model-like appearance? Influence? Fame? Or things like honesty, integrity, communication and trust? Most people I talk with, including transgender women, when I remind them of what matters, act surprised.
Hopefully you’re not. Avoid the kibosh. Revise what you look for in your trans partner. Focus on becoming your best you. Tell positive stories about everything. Then see what happens.
Everyone who earnestly tells positive stories in their life produces great results. Those results look like amazing lives. They feel like freedom, joy empowerment and a knowing that they are creating their life experience.
I own a sister blog called Positively Focused. Through that blog, I work with people outside of the transgender community. I share the same information with those people that I share with clients through this blog.
Sometimes, a Positively Focused client will say something so profound, sharing it with my transgender and trans-attracted clients makes total sense.
In a recent, fabulous Positively Focused session, Lisa shared her experience thus far, confirming the work’s effectiveness after 34 weeks as a client.
We all create our reality through stories we tell. When a person tests that theory, proof shows up in abundance, especially when disbelief, but a desire to believe, turns into belief.
Your stories matter
When belief turns to knowing, knowing borne of experience, then things really get interesting.
For when that happens, then one starts shining. From there, life gets better and better. More joy, more fun, more desires accomplished with no effort. But mostly: more joy.
After all, we all chose this experience knowing it offered wondrous opportunity. Expansion, freedom, joy and focus. We came here for that. Getting what you want, even a perfect relationship, just happen as natural byproducts of connecting with one’s powerful, creative knowing.
Life gets great when one tells positive stories as Lisa attests here.
Meaningful life happens when one chooses their life as meaningful. Every life represents meaningfulness, but when negative beliefs, resistance, anger and frustration dominate, finding one’s meaning can’t happen.
Why?
All That Is wants us all filled with ecstasy, joy and appreciation for life, for us. Negative experiences pile on the one who sees life negatively because All That Is uses such experiences. Such experiences show the negative person they can choose a better way. One consistent with what their Broader Perspective knows.
Many transgender women and trans-attracted men struggle with such chronic, negative experiences which produce anxiety, frustration, sadness and depression.
Life can be fun
Life can be fun. But that fun exists as an option. People come with free will built in. Everyone stands in freedom so profound, each person can choose shackles inherent in disbelief, anger, fear, insecurity and “traumas”.
In time, everyone releases such shackles. For many, that happens at the death moment. Sleep does it too. Most don’t realize it, but waking from sleep feels so great because a person experienced hours in sleep’s nonresistant state.
Death does the same thing.
But one needn’t die then experience joy, freedom and appreciation life offers. Life features those things in abundance for those willing to put a little focus into changing stories they tell about life.
From there, life’s automatic processes take over. Before long, one finds themselves in perpetual bliss. Just like they knew they would, when deciding living in a body would be a wonderful experience.
Proof waits for your discovery. You discover it first through thoughts you think. Then it shows itself to you constantly, as Lisa here confirms. From there your lover, whoever you think that is, shows up. Guaranteed.
