How Lesbian Trans Women Best Meet Great Matches Pt. 2

Photo by We-Vibe Toys on Unsplash

In part one, we examined a comment offered by a transgender woman who happens to be lesbian. Today, let’s continue examining those stories. Here’s the comment she made:

My problem with all of this is: what about transgender women who are not attracted to men? I am one of those. Yes, I have had bisexual encounters in the past, but that was purely to satisfy a sexual desire at the time.

I honestly have never felt any attraction towards men, hence if I’m thinking about a committed relationship, I would love to hear how and where a transgender female can meet someone that is potentially interested in her. I find it a very tricky topic: going to a typical lesbian venue could easily lead to having difficulties because of being a trans person. And that seriously limits the options to meet someone. I genuinly have not been able to think of a solution for this challenge. So, I would love to see an article on it!

Last time we looked at the story she’s telling that tells her she has a problem. That’s a problem. When one tells a story about having a problem, and voicing such a sentiment is storytelling, then one indeed stands in a problem. So our friend first must tell better feeling stories, ones that don’t create “problems”. 

I’d like to double down, please

The next story offers even more resistance blocking our friend from enjoying what she wants:

I find it a very tricky topic:”, she says. Then she doubles down on this one by offering details about why the problem feels tricky. Both amplify creative momentum introducing circumstances wherein she gets what she talks about: not getting what she wants.

“…going to a typical lesbian venue could easily lead to having difficulties because of being a trans person. And that seriously limits the options to meet someone.

She next tells another story amplifying momentum even more:

I genuinely have not been able to think of a solution for this challenge.”

So our friend experiences what she wants as beyond her ability to figure out. She cannot unravel the problem of figuring out where and how she can get what she wants.

Such circumstances exist commonly among people. Mainly because people don’t understand how easily reality happens. Or where it comes from.

Life needn’t be hard. Even for trans lesbians.

There’s no special “where”

So nearly everyone moves away from their desires. But they don’t know why that happens. Which is why so many live in frustration, anger and annoyance. Or anxiety, insecurity or a state of compromise relative to their dreams.

From there, people look to others hoping for solutions. And, since most people all do the same thing, the only recourse for folks lies in copying what they see leaving nearly everyone wanting, but hot having. Seeking but not finding. Can you guess where that leads?

That’s right. More frustration. No wonder so many turn to and fail on online dating sites. Even though so many people gather there, hoping for love. We wrote about how sucky online dating is. And how bad the success rate is.

But there’s an easier way. And a more fun way. But so long as people conclude the way others get their stuff represents the only way they can get their stuff, frustration, more often than not, results.

For example, most think they need to “go to where all the single ladies are” to meet single ladies. Bars, clubs, dating websites, weddings…these events become their only go-to options.

Notice a LOT of people meet people this way. But have you considered how exhausting, time consuming, frog-kissing sucky and uninspiring going to a bar is? And how many who do meet someone that way actually end up in lasting love?

There’s no special place to meet your ideal partner. Well, there is. The special place is wherever you are. Because there is where the Universe leads you. And when you follow your Inner Being guidance, spawned from positive stories, you’ll find your ideal relationship unfold in a beautiful, fun, exciting and deeply exhilarating way.

Uniquely you power

Humans are unique. The cool thing about being human is that uniqueness. It’s powerful. The ones doing what everyone else does make their experiences not unique. The key to a wonderful life filled with everything one wants is leveraging that uniqueness.

Part of that leverage comes from knowing the Universe has your back. Hard to know that when you don’t know how that works. But that’s what The Transamorous Network is about. You see, the Universe already knows this lesbian woman’s match. It’s already got her ready to meet this transgender woman.

But the transgender woman keeps thinking thoughts (telling stories) that prevent her from going where her mate is! Her mate is not at a bar. Nor is she online!

Way worth repeating: Most people try what others do to get what they want. Instead of relying on their connection to their inner knowing, which is their connection to the Universe, they look at what others do and copy that. Or they allow others to influence them into doing differently from what they feel would work.

Doing that, they limit the Universe’s unlimited power to deliver what they want in a surprising, delightful way.

The best way to meet your match is by finding positive things about your life and emphasizing those things by talking about only those. (Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash)

It’s more fun “by accident”

Surprise and delight implies “by accident”. It implies one minds their own business. While doing that, enjoying their lives, doing things they like, they make themselves happy. They see no problems.

Meanwhile, the Universe is on it. It’s giving everyone hunches of where to go, what to do, what to look at.

It’s doing the same thing with your future partner. If she’s a match, she’s doing the same thing you’re doing. She’s enjoying life, doing things she likes. She’s not telling negative stories about where you are and why she can’t find you. Instead, she’s following her hunches. Just as you are…or should or could be.

Then, one day, you’re driving down the road. On your right, you notice a doughnut shop. At that precise moment, your gut says, “turn into the doughnut shop!”

You’re not hungry for doughnuts, but the hunch, the impulse is there. You like doughnuts, but you’ve never been to this shop before. You’re kinda hesitant to go, but you’ve practiced following your hunches and telling positive stories about your wonderful female partner.

So, instead of saying “I’m not hungry,” and drive on, you say “what the hell,” and turn into the driveway.

The only open parking space is next to a late model BMW. You pull in. You’re now facing the street. The shop is behind you. When you open the door to get out, you accidentally hit a woman who’s trying to get into the passenger door of the BMW. Startled, she turns around, you look up…and…out of your mouth come the perfect words…

…Next thing you know it, you two are on a date getting to know each other.

That’s how it works

Viola! No dating sites. No hangovers or late nights. You stopped trying to find her. Instead, it just happened, seemingly by accident.

Only it’s NOT an accident.

How does that happen?

  • You stop telling negative stories about what you want.
  • Then you make yourself a match to your desire, by telling positive stories about what you want.
  • Then you start noticing how good you feel after consistently telling positive stories.
  • The better you feel, the more “happy accidents” start happening in your life.
  • That’s when you discover a quiet voice inside of you giving you instructions on what to do, where to go.
  • The more you follow those, the more “happy accidents” happen.
  • Then came the one “accident” you wanted in a delightful, surprising way.

It was almost as if the Universe was promising you what it had up its sleeve and guided you right to where it pulled the rabbit out of the hat!

And that’s exactly what it is doing for people telling positive stories.

We show people how

This is how our clients create amazing lives. They learn what you just read. Then they put it into practice. The practice shows them it’s working. The more it shows them, the more excited and happy they get. Before they know it, their lives improve at a phenomenal pace. Then they sound like this:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=4kthhOHo3zU%3Fversion%3D3%26rel%3D1%26showsearch%3D0%26showinfo%3D1%26iv_load_policy%3D1%26fs%3D1%26hl%3Den%26autohide%3D2%26start%3D268%26wmode%3Dtransparent
A client shares how telling positive stories about her life created a way more positive life.

No one came into the world to do what others are doing. That especially includes transgender people. But everyone gets mixed up about this because physical reality is initially bewildering.

We show transgender people and those who love them how to get the love they want easily and effortlessly. That’s the way they knew it could happen before reality’s initial bewildering nature threw them off track.

Finding a lover, whether you’re trans, lesbian or trans-attracted needn’t be the struggle most make it. But it is when people tell stories making it that way.

Tell better stories, and the world becomes your oyster. Not only that, you get to decide what kind of pearl you find.

Ready to create find pearl? We’re here to help.

How Lesbian Trans Women Best Meet Great Matches

Photo by We-Vibe Toys on Unsplash

Editor’s note: this post comes in two parts. The second part follows next week.

Good news: Transgender men and cis women now write us asking for advice on creating dating success. We always knew this would happen. The Transamorous Network exists to assist the entire transgender community. That always included transgender men.

It also includes anyone who feels attracted to transgender people. And of course, it includes transgender women who are lesbian.

Today, we’re offering this post addressing the latter group. Specifically, we’re responding to the following comment we recently got via our contact page:

My problem with all of this is: what about transgender women who are not attracted to men? I am one of those. Yes, I have had bisexual encounters in the past, but that was purely to satisfy a sexual desire at the time.

I honestly have never felt any attraction towards men, hence if I’m thinking about a committed relationship, I would love to hear how and where a transgender female can meet someone that is potentially interested in her. I find it a very tricky topic: going to a typical lesbian venue could easily lead to having difficulties because of being a trans person. And that seriously limits the options to meet someone. I genuinly have not been able to think of a solution for this challenge. So, I would love to see an article on it!

To start, we’re going to burst a bubble. Don’t worry, it’s a good thing. Ready?

Lesbian dating isn’t unique

Some people think their status, whatever it is, makes them unique. Recently on Medium.com, we got a disparaging comment attempting to chastise us for offering advice to the transgender community when The Transamorous Network founder, who is non-binary and prefers “they/them” pronouns, themselves aren’t trans.

Our response to that person is the same response we offer everyone. The “trans” experience is not special. Nor is it unique. Like any other experience people experience, the transgender experience is a HUMAN experience. The same holds for transgender women who know themselves to be lesbian.

And, since the human experience fits in with the way the Universe works, the best, most fun way for transgender women who love women to meet their matches coincides with the way transgender heterosexual women and trans-attracted men meet their matches.

Said differently: transgender lesbian humans and their experiences are highly susceptible to stories such people tell about their experiences. In fact, it is ONLY their stories influencing their experiences.

Now some might respond with the worn out trope about blaming victims. Pessimistic people will say women who get raped aren’t creating that reality. They’ll jump to such examples while not thinking about what they’re saying.

As hard as it might be to hear, people experience rape the same way people who get what they want experience that. Were that false, if any exception existed to what we offer as “Universal Laws”, these “laws” couldn’t be called “laws”.

It doesn’t matter what you are. You can have everything you want. But you first must become a match. Living a transgender experience combined with a lesbian experience makes it no more difficult.

Extraordinary opportunity

What so many miss when they get caught up in the false “rape/victim blame scenario”, is the ENORMOUS power and ability available in the statement “stories create reality.”

If “stories create reality” is true (it is), then NOTHING IS OFF THE TABLE. Everything is possible. Everything! Not only is everything possible, everything possible (that’s everything) can happen with no effort on anyone’s part.

So not only can everyone get ANYTHING they want, they can get it super EASY.

This means a transgender lesbian meeting her perfect match is super easy. All she need do is figure out how “stories create reality”, then implement that how.

Our clients get this. That’s why their lives excite them. And, the more evidence they create proving to them “stories create reality”, the more excited they get.

Their excitement comes accompanied by happiness. After all, how can you not be happy when you see everything you want, and then some, happening?

So smart people who hear “stories create reality” immediately see this extraordinary opportunity. The opportunity to create and have anything they want. Instead of jumping to the “rape/victim blaming scenario”, smart people will say “tell me how this works!”

There’s no reason a transgender person’s experience shouldn’t be filled with self-fulfilling desires. And, those desires can happen easy, making life equally easy.

How stories create mis-matches

Let’s just accept for now that “stories create reality”, whether you believe that or not. From that accurate assertion then, let’s examine the comment we got through our website. You’ll see how the commenter’s stories create the reality she experiences as described in the comment. Here it is again. No scrolling up required:

My problem with all of this is: what about transgender women who are not attracted to men? I am one of those. Yes, I have had bisexual encounters in the past, but that was purely to satisfy a sexual desire at the time.

I honestly have never felt any attraction towards men, hence if I’m thinking about a committed relationship, I would love to hear how and where a transgender female can meet someone that is potentially interested in her. I find it a very tricky topic: going to a typical lesbian venue could easily lead to having difficulties because of being a trans person. And that seriously limits the options to meet someone. I genuinly have not been able to think of a solution for this challenge. So, I would love to see an article on it!

The first story the writer offers is that “there is a problem”.

If a person thinks a problem exists, they need an answer. The problem with finding the answer is, if one keeps looking at the problem, they can’t get the answer. That’s why it’s so hard to find something that’s lost.

So long as our friend here looks at her problem “finding out how to meet a woman she can love”, for example, she is not open to the solution. So it won’t come.

That’s the first story she must soothe.

How does she do that?

Create better stories

She makes up any number of stories that turn “the problem” into something else. Any of these will work:

  • Lots of times in the past I discovered an answer about X. I can do that again.
  • I don’t have to know the answer to get the answer
  • I’m eager to see how I will meet my wonderful match
  • I don’t need to be in a hurry about this
  • I have plenty of time to figure this out
  • More challenging things have worked out in my life than this

These new stories can soothe the “problem story” our friend keeps telling into irrelevance.

The old saw “what you resist persists” is true. So does “what you look at continues to be”. If our friend doesn’t like that she can’t find a female lover, she must stop looking at the fact that she doesn’t have one and can’t find one. Sounds crazy, but that’s only because people don’t understand why this works.

The key to coming up with better feeling stories is new stories that make the story teller feel better. That means the ability to feel is extremely important.

In part two, we’ll continue looking at stories this woman tells that keeps her not having what she wants. Then recommend how she can get exactly what she wants.

A New Client Raves Over His Great Results

Photo by Janita Sumeiko on Unsplash

Some transgender people – it’s never trans-attracted men – get triggered by how I support the transgender community. They don’t realize their getting triggered has nothing to do with me or what I do. It’s all about their insecurity, triggered by stories they’re telling.

I often respond by telling such people my clients and the community in general benefit hugely from what I offer, evidenced by many people offering thanks, appreciation and examples of how it helps them. Nearly all my clients stick with me because what they get in transformed lives far exceeds how much it costs.

This is why I guarantee the results I promise.

My most recent client offers a great example. He’s a trans-attracted man. After his very first session, he created for himself exactly what I offer and guarantee everyone gets, trans or trans-attracted. Here’s what he texted me:

My newest client gets an extraordinary life experience after only one session.

Everyone gets similar results, although details look different. That’s only because all physical reality is 100 percent subjective. It’s unique to the perceiver. No one shares their experience with another. Which is why so much disagreement happens. Everyone thinks other people are having the same experience they are.

There’s no reason for a transgender person – man or woman – to go through life not getting what they want. Same for trans-attracted people. The only thing keeping such people from what they want is the person themselves.

The trans experience and the trans-attraction experience are human experiences. Both are wholesome and good. I show folks how to get to that wholesome goodness story-wise. Then, in time, their world must reflect that back to them. Including bringing them everything they want.

I don’t care when some transgender women hate on me after reading a Transamorous Network post. They literally don’t know what they’re talking about.

But trolls gonna hate

Sometimes a transgender woman will read me saying transgender women own the lives they create, then tell me I’m victim blaming. But they don’t understand what my clients do. There are no victims.

But if a person believes there are…they make themselves a victim as much as those they pity as victims.

I don’t care when some transgender women hate on me after reading a Transamorous Network post. They literally don’t know what they’re talking about.

But my clients do. That’s why they rave about results, while sticking around. They get a taste of their power. Then they want more.

I know what I offer helps transgender people and those who love them. I know because such people tell me so. That’s why I do what I do. I came here for this.

So when a client raves about results they produce, I focus on that. Those who get negatively triggered, who’ve never even tried to understand what I offer, let alone put it into practice, get the cold shoulder.

I tell them to take their triggered attitudes elsewhere. Find things to read they agree with. Leave me alone.

That way I have more time to serve those ready to live their lives as the creators they came to be.

Transphobias: Better Left In The Great White North

Photo by Denis Linine on Unsplash

If you’re transgender or trans-attracted, it’s better to think about all the great things about being trans and the great things about being trans-attracted, than thinking about other people’s transphobic opinions about who or what you are. At The Transamorous Network we encourage becoming oblivious to why people say and do things.

Unless you can tell positive stories about them.

That’s why we ignore when a trans woman thinks she knows better about where we’re coming from than we do, and criticizes or demeans what we share. What others think is none of our business 🤣.

A recent client experience shows why doing what we do acts in your best interest.

Coming to grips with her likes

She visited a local drive up coffee kiosk for a java infusion. It’s something she loves doing. Icing on that coffee cake is the beefcake who works there. My client crushes on him every time she sees his hunkiness.

He’s not her only crush. She talks with several men at a time. Her fortune meeting men shows her she’s getting everything she wants. It’s a case in point for trans women: tell the right stories and everything you want – including men – appear.

I think she’s having a great time with all the guy she’s talking with. The most recent guy she spoke with, however, told her dating transgender women scares him. Hearing this, my client expressed feeling two ways about it.

In the first way, she wants to console the guy and his insecurity. But in the second way, she wants nothing to do with it.

Give the finger to other’s opinion. They don’t matter, so you shouldn’t mind.

“I don’t want to have to help a guy come to grips with what he likes,” she said.

Match what you want

That’s when I explained how what he said reflected back to her what she’s thinking about the same topic.

“Huh?” she asked.

“The reason you’re meeting guys who are afraid of dating you is because you still aren’t sure you’re datable,” I told her. “That’s what the Universe is showing you by matching you with this guy. Your dates always match your stories.”

My client has enough of The Transamorous Network’s approach under her belt to get the truth of those words. Every trans woman meets people who match what she’s putting out. If she doesn’t like who she’s meeting, complaining about who’s she’s meeting is the worst thing she can do.

Instead, we recommend becoming a match to the kinds of men you want to date. How? Tell stories about everything that match what you want. Everything. That includes those guys you meet you’d rather not meet.

Doing so requires serious, honest assessment of stories you tell. Especially stories about men…and stories about yourself. Some trans women think they’ve got their thoughts in the right place. Usually, that’s not the case. It’s easy thinking you’re clear, when, really, you’re not. Like this client explains:

A trans woman acknowledges something nearly all trans women (and everyone else) won’t: she really didn’t understand what was going on in her head, until she got a real good look.

Same goes for you trans-attracted men. Figure out your stories, change them and the trans girl you want is yours.

Let’s return to my client’s story.

Back to the coffee kiosk

The hunky dude walking up and down line of cars had what my client interpreted as a “transphobic reaction” to her. She said when he saw her, he looked at her “strange” and kept looking back at her while taking others’ orders.

We talked about this from the perspective of “other people’s opinions aren’t my business“, and why that is. Most people move through the world from places of insecurity, fear, pessimism and negativity. Why on earth would my client want a piece of that????

Instead I asked my client if she could think of alternative stories which would make the hunk’s reaction less personal, or even personally favorable.

It took her a while. But after a little cajoling, she came to some good ones:

  • His behavior has nothing to do with me
  • He’s never seen a trans woman before and is curious, not negative
  • Maybe he’s trans-attracted and didn’t know it until now!
  • Maybe he finds me attractive!

It doesn’t matter whether these stories are true or not. How they made my client feel meant everything.

Why?

Because how she feels tells her something important. So these stories were very good for her. I knew this because her countenance totally changed after telling them. That meant she was headed in a totally different direction than before.

Stories create the world. And everyone’s telling stories all the time, including you. So why not create the best worlds? How? Tell the best feeling stories.

Leave them in the cold

How this guy reacted to seeing my client had nothing to do with her and everything to do about him. But in that moment, my client observed that reaction on purpose. Even though she didn’t realize it at the time, her current beliefs showed themselves in this guy’s behavior. That was a good thing, even if she didn’t believe it at the time.

Seeing what she saw was great evidence of The Transamorous Network’s approach working. Now she knows what her stories contain. That allowed her to do something about them: create better-feeling stories.

So what started as a negative situation turned out to be a really positive one. This is why nothing ever goes wrong in the world. Everything always goes right.

Leave other people’s opinion’s alone. Especially ones inconsistent with yours. They don’t matter. The only place they belong is where they belong…in the Great White North. In other words, out in the cold. Not in your awareness.

Keep them out there and watch how much your love life improves.

Finding Love Results From Seeing The Proof

Photo by Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash

This morning during a client session, the client shared a perfect example of how easily The Transamorous Network’s process works for getting the relationship one wants.

The process IS easy. But like my client, many trans women, and trans-attracted men, make it harder than it needs to be. They make it less fun too.

All one need do to get anything they want is tell stories about their desire and feel good about having it. Even if they don’t tell positive stories, evidence still surrounds them, telling them they’re getting what they want.

But because the person won’t acknowledge the evidence, getting what they want takes a VERY long time…or it doesn’t happen at all.

I should correct that. Every desire fulfills itself. But many people, especially trans women, compromise on what they want. They’re too impatient, tell too many contrary stories and focus on the wrong evidence. But even those girls get what they want…as everyone does…after death. For when a person dies, they return to nonphysical where everything happens in an instant.

No one need wait until death though to get what they want. I know this based on my own experience. That’s why I’m committed to serve members of the trans community ready to hear what I share. Those women (and men) are emmissaries of what’s possible.

This trans woman is an example:

But I digress…

It’s basic math

My client, let’s call her Josie, lamented during one session two weeks ago. She complained about men she was meeting and how those men expressed beliefs contrary to what she wanted. We talked a bit more before I turned the subject to something she enjoyed talking about.

After a little time there, Josie admitted feeling better. Then she doubled down on her previous feeling.

“I feel that I take two steps forward,” she said. “Then take one step back.”

What she was saying is she feels pessimistic because she sees herself going backwards. But if you look at what she actually said here, she was sharing evidence of progress. Not going backwards.

Think about it. It’s basic math.

Let’s say a person is walking forward from point A, and they take two steps forward. How far away are they from point A? Right, two steps.

Now let’s say they take one step back. How far are they away from point A? One step. That’s progress!

This is a common perception problem many humans (not just trans ones) suffer from. Josie acknowledged it in our session today.

“I have ingrained ways of looking at things that have me see negatively,” she said.

“I agree,” I said. “Meanwhile evidence surrounds you that you’re progressing.”

He’s looking for you. Are you seeing evidence that you two are getting closer to meeting? (Photo by Tamarcus Brown on Unsplash)

The evidence…

Then I reminded her about our session last week. Back then, after bemoaning progress that looks like two steps forward and one back, she happily described an encounter she had with a guy.

As she describes herself, she regularly smiles at women she doesn’t know, but never smiles or even makes eye contact with men. But last week she caught herself smiling at a guy.

That shocked and surprised her, but she also saw it (in the moment) as evidence of her progress. It so happened that in this same conversation she also talked about the “several men” she was talking to on dating sites.

So here she is producing all this evidence of guys showing her interest. And yet, she’s complaining about her lack of progress!

Then, this week, she shares even more evidence. Turns out that while walking her dog at the local dog park, she not only smiled at a guy, she struck up a whole conversation with him! As she did so, she was so clear what she was doing, she said she wanted to text me about her “progress” as she called it.

It’s easy, if you let it be

I told Josie then that she has the option at any time to turn her attention to evidence indicating progress towards what she wants. Instead, what she’s doing is indeliberately focusing on “lack of evidence”. That makes her feel shitty. Feeling shitty, Josie can’t see her progress. But the progress is there.

Focus on that progress and telling positive stories becomes easy. Then life gets easy. Then everything one wants comes easily. Including that love life where the perfect partner shows up.

But you must let it become easy. Most people fight against “easy” by being indeliberate about stories they tell. They focus on their pessimism, even when life is showing them all the evidence telling them they are getting what they want.

At The Transamorous Network I help trans women and trans-attracted men all day long learn how to turn their lives into lives where everything they want happens. It’s easy once you get the hang of it. And it’s fun.

Josie is beginning to get this. When are you going to?