TL;DR: The author answers a question about whether a person is blaming someone by telling them they create their reality. Then they explain why so many fail to hear their liberating message.
A trans-attracted guy I’m working with recently asked a question about the idea expressed in the phrase “you create your reality.”
He asked “When we tell ourselves a story that people who attract [negative] experiences bring it upon themselves through their [negative] vibration, are we also falling into the vibration of ‘blame’? Do we not all attract [negative] experiences no matter what?”
He went further as an explanation:
“Think about Jesus getting crucified, MLK getting shot, or maybe even any [negative] experience you or me have attracted in recent memory. It seems like the [negative] experiences happen no matter what. Couldn’t the same or similar circumstances still happen to a person with [highly positive] dominant momentum?”
These are excellent questions. Other clients asked similar questions before. And, I know many trans women think I’m blaming them for their troubles when I tell them they’re creating their reality, even though I’m not.
So let’s take a look at these questions as a way of clarifying what’s happening here.
The power we’ve always had
In short, no, I’m not falling into blaming people when I tell them they are creating their reality. Instead, I’m empowering them.
But it’s hard for a trans woman, or anyone really, to hear the empowerment if they’re in a deeply negative state. That’s why a few trans women write me rebutting what I offer.
I’m ok with that. I know how hard it can be to hear someone tell us we’re responsible for the problems we face. But really, who else is creating those circumstances? It seems like others are doing it. But that’s why we keep getting more of those situations; because the universe is trying to show us that, indeed, we’re doing it. And when we stop doing it, our lives improve. We also come into tremendous power. Power that was ours from the get-go.
Experiences a person with strong negative stories has cannot happen to someone else who is consistently telling positive stories. But it’s hard to tell what’s really happening with someone by outward appearances, which is why it’s best to just mind our own damn business.
For example, a client’s relatives were once highly respected church leaders. Congregation members looked up to these people as community paragons. What they didn’t know is what my client knew; that these relatives were drug-addicted alcoholics who struggled with all kinds of problems and they rarely lived behind the scenes according to what they said in church.
Creating life they saw possible
Outward appearances don’t tell the whole story. Neither do the words coming out a person’s mouth. What a person’s life looks like tells a more accurate picture. But even that can be misleading, for many reasons.
The main reason is because we each live in our own realities, separate from others’ realities. This is one reason, by the way, why we have so much power to create any reality we want; no one else exists in our reality but us. And, in that reality, we don’t have full access to another’s reality.
Overlaps do exist between people’s realities. But those overlaps are created by each individual in their own reality. In other words, we only see and experience our version of the overlap. The other person’s experience remains inaccessible.
Again, this explains why so much empowerment exists in “you create your reality”. No one else is in it but us. So we can create any experience we want, including versions of others (the overlap) matching what we want to see. These versions don’t show up in an instant, which explains why it can seem like nothing changes when it actually is changing. And this is also why it’s important to have a guide, someone who knows how this “you create your reality business” works. Such a person can show where evidence exists proving what we want is happening.
And, when a person starts seeing that evidence, joy about life returns. It was always there, but now, the person is returning to their original intent when they chose to come into physical existence: to joyfully create the life they saw possible.
So next let’s look at the leaders my client gave as examples.
About the enlightened ones
First off, Jesus isn’t a good example because he wasn’t a real person. Instead, he acted as an archetype in the imaginations of humankind at the time. Human imagination is akin to All That Is. It is the Source from which everything stems. That environment is also shared by a horde of other beings. All these beings are cooperating to guide humanity as it lives its human existence.
From time to time, humanity as a whole will receive “guidance”. It will come as a massive injection of information, usually in the form of a dream or incident, one that doesn’t happen in physical. The life of Christ was one such experience. Why else do you think there’s no physical evidence of his existence?
MLK, on the other hand was a real person. As such, his experience was different. He came into the world knowing he would have a huge impact on the world. He also knew and accepted and allowed his assassination. There are records showing this. I believe it includes a letter, written in his own hand, describing his awareness. In other words, he allowed it as part of his path.
There are lots of enlightened beings, meanwhile, who die in far more peaceful ways, including the iconic Buddha. More pass peacfully than those whose lives end tragically.
Bad things don’t happen to good people. When they seem to, then our judgement of that person is off, not what happened to them.
The contrast is all good
Now, saying someone brings a negative experience onto themselves can express blame, if the speaker IS in an energy of blaming. When I say this, however, I’m appreciative of the vast empowerment the statement implies. I’m in appreciation of the person I’m talking to; appreciation of the person’s immense power
I talk about this all the time in my blogs. Especially with regard to trans women.
“Bad things” or “contrast” as I call them, happens. But that contrast lessens the more positive we are. So while a person with chronic [negative] vibration will have their purse stolen, for example, a chronic [highly positive] person may drop a glass they were washing. Or they may experience a really hot day. Or they may want to buy something and that thing isn’t on sale anymore. They experience much less intense contrast or negative experiences in other words.
And, since a person who is REALLY highly positive recognizes that all [negative] experience is actually positive, they amplify such experiences…to the point that even these lighter versions do not happen. They happen sometimes, but they’re not experienced as contrasting experiences. It’s just all good.
Helping people find liberation
So no, I’M not “falling into blame” by saying another who experiences [negative] experiences brings it on themselves. Everyone creates their own reality. That’s a statement of empowerment.
But if you, dear reader, are mainly in negative energy you won’t read it as empowering. Instead, you’ll read it as blaming. Everyone hears through the filters of their beliefs, they typically don’t hear what’s actually being said. And so their interpretation can vastly differ from the speaker’s intent.
Again, this explains why some trans women read what I write then double down on their beliefs, their interpretations of the world around them. If you’re one of those people, I’m not saying your interpretation is wrong or invalid. What I am saying is there’s a more empowering interpretation than saying “All the anti-trans legislation is threatening me and my sisters.” or “all men who are interested in me are tranny-chasers”.
Those kinds of interpretations of the world around you can’t possibly feel good. And that not-good-feeling is telling you something important. You may not know what it’s telling you, but that doesn’t mean it’s not trying to tell you.
For those who learn what those not-so-good feelings are saying, then take that message to heart and do something, those people’s lives get better. My clients are living proof of this. My life is too.
So no, I don’t blame trans people for negative experiences they live. I’m trying to liberate them from such experiences. How? By showing them how to liberate themselves…by giving up thinking others are doing something to them.