Let’s face it: not every transgender woman is passable. But that needn’t pose problems for trans women or trans-attracted men. In fact, it can be the best thing ever for both parties, if both parties get over stories blocking the best relationship ever. At The Transamorous Network we show people how to get over those stories.
Tiffany sure gets it. She’s a Transamorous Network client and last week we concluded in a recent 1:1 session of hers that trans-attracted men and trans women both struggle over many common stories. Stories about trans-attracted men, masculinity, femininity, passing, topping and desires both transgender women and trans-attracted men share.
For example, it seems some trans-attracted men want what some trans women don’t want. Is that true? Or is there more to the story?
We enjoyed exploring those and many other answers. Sharing them might open some minds so we included takes in a shortened session video.
Trans-attracted men – lets get real
Take note my brothers. If you believe you can’t find a trans woman who will be with you, you’re right. Such beliefs keep you from getting what you want.
In other words, if you believe you can’t find a trans woman who will be with you, then what you want, and what you believe conflict. That conflict leaves you stuck in perpetual frustration.
The way out involves finding harmony between what you believe and what you want.
The trouble is, most trans-attracted men won’t reconcile what they want and what they believe. So they struggle…alone.
Bro, if you want that beautiful transgender woman, you gotta reconcile your resistance and your desire. There are plenty of trans women out there who will give you exactly what you want. Mainly because they enjoy it too.
Trans-attracted men don’t want what they want.
But if you think you’re going to find a super-passable trans woman, who also will top you with their penis…if they got one…good luck with that. We explain why in the video above.
Getting what you want is impossible if you’re looking for something that contradicts what you believe. Yet so many men do exactly that. They look for something in total contradiction with what they believe. Then complain when they can’t find what they want.
The trans woman you want is not going to be one waging chemical warfare on their testosterone. Not if you want her topping you. And most really passable trans women get that way by blocking hormones responsible for topping behavior.
The good news: you can get what you want in love and get it through a trans girl. But you must be willing to give up something: either your desire…or your belief.
We’ve said over and over that transgender woman and trans-attracted men potentially change the world for the better. We’ve also said how each transgender woman is special and mentioned the special role they play.
It’s likely no surprise to some transgender women that this is so. After all, early civilizations venerated trans people, saw them as more than ordinary humans and treated them as such.
But looking at how transgender women carry themselves in the world today, how they think about themselves, how they think about men who find them attractive, you’d think (mostly correctly) that many transgender women today don’tvenerate themselves.
We created The Transamorous Network to help change that.
You don’t get it…until you do
It took our podcast co-host Remy a single tea date and reading our guides to get who she was. Two years later, she changed her life. She went from believing all men are scum to living her life powerfully, including drawing to her a man who moved across the country to marry her.
Today, more than two years later, they’re still married.
In the seed of every transgender woman a powerful, world-changing being lurks. Same is so for trans-attracted men.
But feeling shameful or insecure about being different or fearing what others think about your difference generates experiences counter to who transgender women and trans-attracted men really are. So too when trans women try extracting positive compliments from others, such as “passable/not passable?” or “fuckable/not fuckable?”
Such playful-seeming actions on the part of transgender women mask insecurity. No one who loves themselves cares about what others think about them.
Recently, Tiffany, a Transamorous Network 1:1 client asked about this “specialness”. She wanted more about how transgender women, and by extension, trans-attracted men, are special, world changers, here to help humanity become more and better by themselves living their authenticity.
Here’s how that conversation went.
Words shared in this conversation mean little. But when life shows a transgender woman or a trans-attracted man these word’s accuracy, then the person hearing them, and experiencing life consistent with them, becomes absolutely convinced they are world-leaders here for a big purpose.
And along with that purpose comes the potential to fulfill every desire.
Positive stories will prove life convincing
But unless a transgender woman or trans-attracted man has personal experiences in their own lives like Transamorous Network clients, or like Remy has had, it’s hard to believe.
It’s only hard to believe because each person creates reality consistent with stories they tell. If, for example, a transgender woman believes they aren’t worthy of being loved by a man, or if a man believes he can’t find a trans woman who will love him for who he is…then both create realities consistent with those beliefs.
A transgender woman on Facebook complaining via her negative stories about men (and another transgender woman endorsing this story). It’s no wonder she struggles finding a man. The stories she tells aren’t consistent with what she wants.
Standing in those realities, I get why transgender women complain, bicker, call all men fetishizers, closeted gays or worse. I also understand why men seeking transgender women call the objects of their affection skeezers, gold-diggers, drama queens or worse.
Such labels spring from knee-jerk reactions indicating displeasure with realities each person is creating. The problem though is a person can’t change a reality they’re constantly complaining about.
It’s easy to get what you want
Getting what you want is supposed to be effortless, fun and guaranteed. Who stands between you and getting what you want? No one but you. So getting what you want is as easy as getting out of your own way and letting it happen.
It’s the “letting it happen” that’s hard. Most people aren’t willing to do that. Most want to “make it happen”, which is why so many people are dating online. They don’t believe life can lead them directly to their lover, so they get in there and try to do it.
Or they’re too impatient. They tell stories about running out of time, being too old, or worse – that they are beyond an age where they’re still attractive.
That’s why so many relationships suck. People push against what should be easy, thus making it really hard.
Letting it happen doesn’t mean sitting on your ass and waiting for that man or woman to come to you, although some waiting is required. Letting it happens means learning how “letting it happen” works, then stepping into one’s power, and using levers everyone comes equipped with to create a reality of one’s choosing.
Then everything happens in magical ways. Only it’s not magic.
Transgender women and trans-attracted men are on the forward edge of what it is to be human. It sucks being trans or trans-attracted when you don’t know that, and don’t own it.
Getting the love you want is not rocket science. Getting the love you want can mean getting EVERYTHING you want in love, no compromises. But first, you must stop compromising! At The Transamorous Network we help with that.
Getting what you want means you have to be happy. That’s because, more than anything, what you want is a happy relationship. If you’re not a match to that, you can’t have it.
At The Transamorous Network we cajole people into working with us by first focusing on relationships. But we also work on everything else, especially with being happy. Because if you’re not happy, you’re a match to others who aren’t happy. If you’re complaining about what you get in relationships, you’re a match to that. You can’t get a wonderful relationship when you complain about the sucky relationship, or no-relationship, you have.
At The Transamorous Network we fix that. Then, everything else follows easily, just like Tiffany says above. You can have the relationship you want. First you have to become a match to that. At The Transamorous Network we show you how.
As Transamorous Network clients get how important their stories are, they also learn something crucial for living amazing lives: how to identify intrusive thoughts.
Intrusive thoughts are ideas popping up seeming unbidden. They are intuitions which, if followed, lead to everything someone wants.
But if a person doesn’t know how to tune themselves to intrusive thoughts, or they don’t understand where intrusive thoughts come from, life can get pretty crazy, including dating life. That crazy is where “drama” in relationships comes from.
Here’s how to put a stop to that and meet the guy or transgender woman you want.
Intrusive thoughts come from somewhere
Where intrusive thoughts come from is important, because if you don’t know where they’re coming from and you follow them, they could create experiences you don’t want, including drama.
Everyone creates their reality. Most people get a little of what they want and a lot of what they don’t. That’s because they don’t understand what you’re reading.
For example, a trans-attracted man who feels shame about his trans attraction will encounter realities in which the only transgender women he meets match his shame.
They (the transgender women) will be users, or they’ll consider him shady or a “chaser”. They themselves will be insecure and shame-filled (i.e. feeling unworthy) thereby perfectly matching the man’s feelings about himself.
In this humorous clip, a transgender woman gets an earful in her session as we talk (for the first time) about intrusive thoughts. It’s worth listening to because she gets several insights at once, all in less than five minutes.
Everyone is a match
This is why I’m not so interested in meeting transgender women right now. Because while I’m far beyond soothing negative stories that create shame, I want far more in my relationship than an average experience.
I want an extraordinary experience. Having that means I must be a match to it. I must, in other words, become extraordinary myself.
Everyone showing up in our lives matches stories we’re telling ourselves. Those stories determine what impulses, what intrusive thoughts come into our awareness. Our emotions help us know whether to follow an intrusive thought or not. So knowing how one feels is really important.
I know two things tell me how my life is going: what shows up in life now and how I feel.
Paying attention to that helps me understand what intrusive thoughts are coming and whether or not I want to follow them. Following those consistent with my positive stories is creating an increasingly amazing life.
Nothing convinces better than life experience. That’s why I show transgender people and trans-attracted and transamorous men how to create in their lives proof that their stories can fulfill any desire imaginable. Including meeting amazing romantic partners.
But if YOU want to meet your amazing romantic partner, you gotta stop doing what so many other women do.
I have several transgender clients creating living proof that stories create reality. Gradually, their dreams flow into their lives with less and less effort. They’re happy, sure, eager about life and eager about meeting their matches. Like “Nadia” here:
Then there are others…
Occasionally however, I talk with transgender women who are not clients. I share the same stuff I tell my clients. What’s crazy is even though my clients’ lives offer a metric shit-ton of evidence of their dreams becoming real, these transgender women just don’t get it.
But I do.
Not being a Transamorous Network client, it’s hard (but not impossible) to understand your stories about reality create your reality. It’s way easer defending your limiting stories, which in turn limit your life. Like this transgender woman recently did while talking with me on Facebook:
A transgender woman vigorously defending her limiting beliefs with stories detailing what she doesn’t want, instead of what she wants. That’s a problem.
I’m not trans, but I have personal experience helping trans and non-trans people create fun, fulfilling lives. Everyone I work with gets lives filled with everything they want
So when I adamantly say “transgender women can have any future they imagine, and any kind of partner they want,” I mean it. 😌
He’s looking for you. Are you looking in the right places? (Photo by Tamarcus Brown on Unsplash)
Stand in the truth you want to live
Of course, many people know what they want. But most don’t know how to easily get it. Instead they do what others are doing, or what they’ve always done. Like the transgender woman above, when they get results consistent with what others get (results that suck), they get upset, frustrated and rant about what they’re getting. All the while not realizing their frustration exists for a reason.
Any experience a person has is valid. That doesn’t mean it’s the Truth with a capital T, or that their experience is an objective fact. There is no one Truth and there are no objective facts.
For example, many, many transgender women think all men are pieces of shit, want to bottom and fetishize transgender women for their penises.
Two transgender women commiserating over their truths. What is the price they pay for living this truth? Easy: no relationships, or relationships that suck.
SOME men may be this way, sure. And for transgender women who tell such stories, that’s pretty much the only men they meet. So of course, it’s TRUE that SOME men are this way.
But does standing in stories complaining about and commiserating over such men give you what you want? It clearly doesn’t, right?
Is standing in that truth really worth not getting what you want…especially when a better truth exists were you CAN get what you want?
I don’t think so.
Most people don’t know how to easily get what they want
Instead of looking forward to what one wants and talking about that, most people, transgender, trans-attracted or even plain ol’ cis, will complain about what they’re getting. They’ll complain to whoever will listen, and plenty of people exist who will not only listen, but add their own complaints in the mix.
That’s a definite no-no for both parties because in doing that, neither party helps the other get what they want.
One trans woman seeks confirmation of her story…And another gives it, thereby reinforcing the unwanted story for herself and her friend. If you want that amazing guy STOP DOING THIS.
It’s fun when a person understands life always shows one what stories are creating what realities. Only people who understand this though can do something about it thereby fulfilling their desires.
But since most people don’t understand this, they don’t know what to do that’s different. They keep doing the same thing over and over, or do things others are doing, thinking just because others are doing it, it will work for them. 🙄
Life is on everyone’s side
What I know is, life is 100 percent faithful to everyone. It is ALWAYS on every person’s side, showing them the sum total of what stories they’re telling. Life gives them plenty of early warning too, so a person understanding this can change a reality well before it becomes…well…reality.
Life is helping the transgender women in these examples above. But they don’t understand how. So they keep doing what they’re doing and getting what they give the most air-time to: opportunity to complain about men who treat them consistent with their stories.
If you, dear reader, want a different (better) love life, or anything else in your life, you must try a better way.
Impatience is not your friend…well…it is, kinda
People (and transpeople particularly) have a distorted perspective relative to results and time. Before any significant time passes they’re impatient and wondering why they’re not getting what they want.
The transgender woman above complains about what she’s getting or rather what she’s not getting, even though she’s only been dating for 12 months. But twelve months is a blink of an eye in universal terms! And yet, people think that’s a long time, then lose their shit when what they want hasn’t come by then.
That’s lunacy!
Looks are nice, but you’re wanting more than that, I promise. But none of what you want will come easily if you’re impatient. (Photo by Jakob Owens on Unsplash)
Life will give anyone what they want, but when a person gets impatient about it, it can’t happen. Why? Because feeling “impatient” tells you you’re giving more air-time to your complaint than your desire. And wherever you put your attention, you get more of that. In this case, putting your attention on having no relationship gives you exactly that: no relationship!
You don’t need options
Men and women think having a selection is a good thing. That’s why so many people are on dating sites. But the Universe will give you exactly what you want without you having to search or select.
You don’t need a “pool” of men. Thinking you need a selection means you don’t believe the Universe and life is on your side. You’re trying to do what life will do for you. And it will do it far easier than if you do it.
That’s why it’s so hard finding a partner, trans girl. Stop trying to do the Universe’s job.
You only need one man (if that’s what you want): that one amazing guy. But if you think you need to find him, or select him from a pool, you’re barking up the wrong tree (to mix metaphors LOL).
This bears repeating: The more you complain about the men you don’t want, the more you’re going to connect with that kind of man. Wanting that amazing man in your life means focusing on him. Not on the men you’re meeting who aren’t that.
It’s no wonder so many trans women have similar dating experiences. Most do the same things, get the same results then complain to each other about what they get.
Don’t be those women. Instead, tell stories about the man you want. Revel in the wonderful things going on in your life. Stay away from transgender women who complain. Then watch how life easily gives you what you want.
This may be hard to hear: It’s not the men that are the problem. It’s how you’re going about getting what you want. Change that up and see what happens.
