I publish these posts weeks after I write them. That way, I don’t feel pressure to write something if I don’t want to. Invariably, however, the urge strikes. And so I find myself at my writing table.
Not being a hypocrite, I’m going to lavish on what I want in this post, rather than dwell on what I don’t. I’m going to praise those readers who get what I’m sharing, who have benefited from reading these posts.
But I’m also going to praise those who haven’t got what I share. Including those lambasting that second post as transphobic. I am going to praise those people, because they offer grit, the grain of sand that contributes to the ongoing pearl forming in my personality oyster that unfolds as my daily life.
So in praise of both, I offer this rather brief post.
I’m pretty positive
Over the years of writing this blog, some trans women have pretty much raved about what I share. Those who get it, those primed to benefit from what I write, share their enthusiasm and satisfaction.
Some of those women engaged with me as clients. Others, haven’t, but they have reached out from time to time to share their life progress, progress happening at least partially because of what they’ve read on this blog.
I recall fondly an ongoing three-year conversation with a trans woman in the midwest somewhere, who struggled with men and career. After a couple years of focus, she wound up meeting much better men, and started her own business. One that became successful enough that she hired her mom as an employee.
Many such stories fill my memory. And there are less profound experiences that, while less profound, were no less gratifying to receive.
Recently, in response to my most recent posts (at the time of writing this), I got two examples I really, really appreciate. The first I’m sharing responds to a post I wrote after my post about the trans community helping Trump win. In that post I shared my “origin story.”
A few didn’t respond kindly to that one, but this person’s response resonates with intentions I put into that story:
Yeah. I’m pretty positive. And it seems that bright light I offer warmed the heart of this reader.
Making a difference
The post on Trump really triggered a lot of trans women. Getting triggered is unfortunate because it reveals so much more about the person getting triggered and says nothing about the thing the person is letting trigger them.
So when I got a lot of trans women pissed off about that post and the one about me having sex with a post-op trans woman, I reveled in the knowing I have about people, the Universe and how it all works. I shared some of that knowledge in responses to those people who commented negatively. On the surface what I wrote made little difference: the women just doubled-down on their triggered perspective.
But I know when that happens, such people make a connection with what I share in a powerful way. In that way, they are bound to encounter what they’ve read somewhere else in their life. Perhaps it will come in the form they can more readily digest. So I know while it looks like I made little difference, I actually made a HUGE difference.
And that’s why I’ve written so much on this blog. That and other reasons kept me coming back to my computer every week.
Comments like the one below kept me coming back too. Getting comments like this one cause all the flaming from triggered trans women to pale in comparison. Yep, some people out there get it. And it’s cool when they feel moved enough to share like this:
In praise
When a person gets triggered, the belief confrontation happening in them literally takes them over. They can’t control themselves, which is often why such people resort to name calling and even violence. So when people respond negatively in a comment, it doesn’t mean very much. They’re out of control.
But for a person to share a positive comment, something significant must happen to move them to take the time to comment. Feeling good isn’t enough. A strong resonance between the writer and the reader must happen. In other words, someone taking time to share a positive comment speaks more powerfully than someone firing off a triggered, angry offended rant.
That’s why I so appreciate when I get calls or comments, such as the ones above.
I appreciate the flames too though although sometimes it takes a while. That’s because they cause me to dig deeper into my awareness, the very same awareness that has me write these posts every week.
Maybe you can tell I’m heading somewhere. It’s a destination I expect will fulfill itself in the next two blog posts or so. Until then, I appreciate you, dear reader. Whether you get it or whether you don’t.
TL;DR: The author shares what happened when a trans woman invited them to test drive her new vaginoplasty. What they found and what they recommend may surprise some and confirm others’ opinion about what sex with a post-op trans woman is like.
What it is like to be inside a post-op trans woman’s vagina? What does it feel like? Is the medical miracle comparable to the real thing?
Not long ago, I got answers via an unexpected late-night invitation: a trans woman I know traveled to Thailand for her “bottom surgery”, recovered, and now wanted feedback on her new nether regions. She wanted me to take a test drive.
I was willing, if she was willing to take the feedback (and some other things) for what it was: my honest, unvarnished opinion. It was a hook up, no doubt, not something I do lightly or even frequently. But Jane, let’s call her, is a familiar person and I wanted to help. She’s also smart, kind, politically active, young and pretty. In the least, we’d have good conversation as always. So I jumped in a Lyft and headed to Southeast Portland.
I’m writing this for you guys interested in trans women who may not have had sex yet with one, or maybe have, but with a pre-op trans woman. Or maybe you have had sex with a post-op trans woman. If you have, I’d love to hear your experience.
First, upfront disclosure: I prefer pre-op trans women for obvious reasons. Before you girls start hating, realize this is MY preference. It’s way more than about the plumbing alone and if you don’t like it or understand it, go after what you want rather than railing against me. I know my preference is natural. Yours are too. So go for what you want and leave mine alone. 😊
I didn’t realize Jane had a vagina until after my Lyft had long ago dropped me at my destination and departed towards its next fare. I sat there across from Jane on a tan couch positioned oddly in the center of her apartment, amid boxes, panties, cat litter and other assorted strewables. The place looked like two airlines crashed in her apartment spewing passengers’ private things wall-to-wall. Shit was everywhere…except maybe where it should have been.
Jane offered a good excuse: She’s packing for a cross-town move. Why she thought about getting vaginal feedback now crossed my mind later, long after the test drive. But in the moment…well, let’s just say I was focused on more important things.
The point being, $35 into a $60 round trip Lyft fare, it was too late by the time she told me she had a vagina to decline the offer. Not that I would have had she told me ahead of time.
I’m not a hypocrite, so being where I am in my own development stemming from practicing what I preach at The Transamorous Network, I had no expectations what Jane’s booty call would include. She simply asked “want to come over and have sex with me?” That was it.
I had no idea what Jane had in her pants either. I knew from lengthly conversations that she saw herself “as a woman”. My awareness extended only that far. Besides, I know plenty of trans women who see themselves as women, but have penises.
As I said, Jane also is pretty, smart and fun to be around. So I didn’t mind if nothing happened, if she had a cock or something else. No specifics significantly registered. I only thought it would be nice to see her, sex or no sex.
After acknowledging this was a booty call and with small talk catchup behind us, the night got more…interesting. A fairly rigorous conversation followed about “the act”: her desires, how she liked it, what she was into, etc.
I made sure everything about to happen was consensual, without making it weird, even though I thought about whipping out my iPhone and recording us both acknowledging a consensual pairing.
Most of our pre-foreplay intellectual banter concerned Jane’s preoccupation with my pre-op preference.
Like some trans girls, Jane is hyper-sensitive over men who prefer pre-op trans women. I get that sensitivity. While some men can and probably do get off being objectified — by trans women and others — sometimes for their endowments, their six pack, or money, for example, most trans women I know aren’t too keen on a guy liking them only for what they’re packing.
Some men do objectify pre-op trans women. But most of the men I work with through The Transamorous Network want something more than sex with trans women. They’re rational enough in their desires though to know what they like, and I encourage self-love, honesty and integrity in all my clients.
Desires, I tell them, are to be fulfilled. So long as my clients tell stories consistent with what they want, what they want will fulfill themselves. Same with trans women and their desires. Planet Earth contains enough time and space for everyone’s desire. One needn’t criticize what another wants just because one doesn’t want that.
If a trans woman doesn’t want to be objectified for having a penis, she won’t so long as she tells stories consistent with what she wants (being seen for all she is) instead of what she doesn’t want (being seen only as having a penis).
So trans women: Go get what you want. Leave others to their desires.
By the time we talked through Jane’s triggered story about my preference (which was irrelevant) sex was a foregone conclusion. No one was backing out, neither Jane, nor I, nor my curiosity, nor her feedback desires.
I had never been with a post-op trans woman. This would be an interesting anthropological adventure! What happened next was….
I should also add here that I’ve led a robust sex life, filled with many, many women, some men, trans people (yes, trans men too) and other more advant garde experiences I needn’t share. The point is, I’ve been around body parts. Including LOTS of vaginas.
I also have a fair understanding about how doctors perform the delicate surgical origamic alchemy transmogrifying a penis into a vagina. It’s a medical miracle, frankly, that it functions at all.
I’ve heard second hand from trans women that their artificial vag works just great, so well these coital doppelgängers work, men can’t tell the difference they say.
Yet never had I heard men describe their experience being in one. This was my first-person opening, a slot inviting my entry, so to speak. So, with relish, I took my shirt off. Then my pants…
Looking back I’d say it was what I thought it might be. Our pairing carried a tone more clinical than amorous. Imagine having sex with someone knowing researchers watched through a two-way mirror you knew was a two-way mirror. Or you had sex with a fellow researcher, while each of you remained mostly in clinical mindsets while fucking…
Going with that clinical vibe, here’s what I observed:
As much as a trans woman might say it is, it isn’t. Once inside, even with lube, it felt like a crevice designed with no thought as to the shape of a penis. It felt as though someone opened a hole in a body, but didn’t bother to contour it in a way to make it vaginal-like.
Unlike a vagina, no fleshy folds awaited inside to coddle me to orgasm. Instead it felt like rubbing against exactly what it was: epidermis. Not only was it too shallow and thus most unwelcoming for my length, it also featured insufficient diameter. Even with lube it felt the whole affair would rip my penis skin off, like the skin of a grape, were any intensity applied.
As we both undulated ourselves while in the act, I felt an uncomfortable hardness. No, it wasn’t my erect penis, rather it was a bone… I mused as to whether that was Jane’s pelvic bone, which made being inside her an uncomfortable experience in addition to feeling near flayed.
Also unlike a vagina, there appeared to be two bulbous, fleshy forms just above and inside the “vaginal” canal, only slightly protruding, like a tiny prolapsed anus. It felt exactly like a little penis peeking out of a cave. When Jane came, I felt ejaculate shoot from between those fleshy forms, much like ejaculate from an erect penis.
Speaking of penises, somewhere in my pelvis lies a muscle. When flexed, my erect penis, rises and falls without manual assistance. I don’t know whether a vaginoplasty, the medical term for “turning a penis into a vagina”, includes dismantling that muscle.
In Jane’s case, whenever she moved her hips as though to thrust, I felt the two fleshy forms aforementioned move…not vaginal like, but like a penis. That movement and the discharge gave me the distinct impression that, despite its transformation, and no matter how emasculated it may have become, a penis was, in fact, still present and accounted for, but now literally hood-winked into appearing as a vagina.
Finding my way around the vaginal exterior confounded me as well. It resembled no vagina I’m familiar with. I couldn’t find the clear and pleasantly erect, welcoming clitoris typically shrouded in its fleshy hood near the vaginal apex, even when Jane insisted it was there and vigorously played herself to orgasm.
Despite our mutual arousal the whole time, the experience was less than satisfactory.
I shared my thoughts in detail with Jane afterwards in candid, no uncertain terms. Not surprisingly, she took it in stride, listened intently while taking mental notes. She thanked me for the honesty and said other men she’s been with said it was just like a vagina. I don’t know these men, so I can’t speculate at all about their prior experiences. I only speak from mine.
I know trans women don’t get vaginoplasty, vulvoplasty, SRS, or “bottom surgery” – whatever you want to call it – for the pleasure and satisfaction of the men. I presume the main reason some (not all) trans women go to such lengths is so their exterior decor matches their interior identity blueprint. They want to look how they feel…to them, most of all. They want to look in the mirror and see only that which matches how they feel. Many feel strong rejection of their penis.
I get that.
My opinion and experience therefore doesn’t matter as far as trans women go. If a trans woman wants such a procedure, I say whatever makes you happy. Maybe somewhere on the list for such women, a future partner’s experience counts. Maybe not.
Still, the following might be helpful.
One of my former clients, a senior medical professional who runs a major health organization, is familiar with vaginoplasty and vulvoplasty procedures. When I described my experience my client said my observations were “clinically and anatomically spot on”.
“It’s extremely difficult,” my client said. “To create something where there is nothing. Most literature in the field says results are marginal and often dissatisfying” in both form and function. He continued by saying invariably partners don’t experience satisfaction with such procedures and that it is routine that subjects return for repeated modifications.
“This is a major procedure and in my opinion not worth the risk and expense because once done, no matter how unsatisfied, it can’t be reversed. And at this point, the results are not satisfactory,” He added.
We both agreed over the reasons, the stories, which drive some trans women to seek a visage matching their ideals. So my client says such trans women should seek the most capable provider possible, with no concern for expense, so they are happy with the outcome. Even then, he says, they may have unsatisfactory results.
I have a hard time believing guys, especially those with ample vaginal experience, would find such a surrogate satisfactory, let alone pleasurable. My client, with medical experience agrees: “Any man who has had sex with cis-women will know right away what they’ve entered is not a vagina.”
I asked him whether there are skeletal differences between men and women in the pelvic area, explaining my experience with what I thought was Jane’s pelvic bone.
“Indeed,” He said. “The female pelvic arch, where the genitals are, is wider and higher than the male pelvis. So it’s highly likely you were grinding against her “male” pelvic bone while trying to find the right angle inside her “vagina”.”
The subpubic angle is the angle produced by the inferior rami of the pubis, which creates the pubic arch. In women, the subpubic angle will generally be equal to or greater than 80 degrees (obtuse), which is similar to the shape of the letter “L”. In men, the pubic arch is narrower, creating a subpubic angle that is usually less than or equal to 70 degrees (acute), making it a similar angle to an upside down “V.”
That upside down V was exactly what I bumped up against. Here, look at this drawing for clarification, which also comes form registerednursern.com.
Take note of differences in pelvic arch location and shape between a male pelvis (left) and female pelvis (right). The male pelvis arch is lower AND far more narrower, meaning, you’re going to hit it while fucking. Especially during missionary style. Photo: registerednursern.com.
“We’re just not at the point where that kind of surgery can produce convincing results,” My client said. “And it’s highly unlikely we’ll be able to create from scratch a faithful replica to what it feels like entering a vagina.”
I remember one day, decades ago, accepting a quite young trans man’s invitation to hook up, before Craigslist kiboshed its personals section. When I arrived at a St.Johns apartment, a beautiful, pierced young person with a full face of stubble welcomed me. When he took off his clothes, he had had not a stitch of surgery. Everything “girl” remained untouched. Beauty rivaling Venus stood before me. Venus with a beard and short hair.
As I feast my young eyes upon them, pang of sorrow accompanied my awe. I knew some day this guy would likely go under the knife, irreparably altering what I experienced as a perfect human specimen.
And yet, beauty IS in each beholder’s eye. What must be done must be.
I’m glad I had this experience with Jane, even though what she has holds no candle to a natural vagina. Not in my opinion anyway. Guys: Whatever you call it, this procedure has a long way to go. Natural vaginas, as yet, have no rivals. If a vagina is what you want, stick to cis-women.
I know my experience is but one data point, with a doctor’s endorsement of sorts. Still, I hope what I experienced was not state of the art. If so, it’s not worth the money in my opinion, and the state of the art is…disappointing.
I’m glad I prefer, and get the opportunity to enjoy, penis-equipped women, who are, like me, happy with what they have. If you like what I like, I assure you there are at least as many women out there who want to keep their penis, as there are numbers of us willing to go to bed with and love out loud penis-equipped women. Go for what you want.
Don’t worry about people condemning your preference. Your preference isn’t theirs so their opinion doesn’t matter. Let no one talk you into compromising. Especially rants from trans women. They don’t know you. They aren’t you. You are you, be that.
And for those girls who feel they must get bottom surgery: you go for what you want too. But please don’t let impatience or economics lead you towards regret. What I’ve found is the doppelgänger turned out to be a poorly-conceived and executed facsimile. My advice for men again: if you want a vagina-equipped woman, the cis-variety is the best bet.
TL;DR: Many in the LGBTQ community, including some transgender and trans-attracted people, are panicking over the 2024 election outcome. In this story, the author shows how such people helped Trump win the presidency. Then they show what transgender and trans-attracted people can do next to benefit from what happened on Nov. 5.
I’m pretty thrilled with what happened last Tuesday. Although I must admit, I didn’t feel that way last Wednesday. That’s because my Broader Perspective assured me one candidate would prevail over the other.
That’s not what happened. Trump handily won. And it may be that the Senate and the House will fall to GOP majorities too. At the time of this writing, that’s unclear.
What is clear though is half of America is thrilled. The other half is flip-flopping through rage, depression, disbelief, terror and more. Included in the second half, I’m sure, are many, many trans and trans-attracted people, and many other LGBTQ people.
I didn’t vote for Trump. And I’m queer/transamorous. But I’m glad he’s going to be president. Not for reasons you may think though, dear reader.
In this post, I’ll lay out why I’m thrilled instead of terror-struck about the election results and why you should/could be as well.
Let’s get to it!
A brilliant manifester
Those who haven’t regularly read my blogs will struggle with what they’re about to read. I invite comments and questions, just try to keep them civil, please.
Those who have regularly read my blogs will find this post consistent with everything else I write. In fact, earlier this year, I wrote about Trump and his seeming amazing ability to thwart what some might call justice. I praised his ability as a manifester too.
There’s no two ways about it: Trump is a brilliant manifester. He focuses on what he wants and he doesn’t care about things like facts, the truth or what others think about him. As a result of his pure focus, he usually gets what he wants.
Discovering Trump’s recent massive increase in his personal fortune, thanks largely to Truth Social, astounded me for example. All those silly things he sold to his followers — coins, custom Bibles, shoes — are evident of his powerful manifestation momentum. Especially when it comes to money. But Truth Social really took the cake. Until the 2024 election.
Now, I don’t agree with anything he is about. And yet, I must admire his ability to focus. His ability to focus on what he wants…and manifest it is exemplary.
Willing participants
Not so much with some transgender and trans-attracted people and other LGBTQ community members. We all are points of consciousness, existing in a vibrational reality of All That Is. Our thoughts determine what we create as our life experience. That includes politics. There’s no evidence disputing this.
So when a person focuses on something they want and they don’t resist it they will realize that thing in their lives at some point. Again, resistance is key. If they focus a little on what they want, and a lot on what they don’t, that conflicting focus slows down and can even prevent them getting what they want. Indeed, that conflicting focus can actually produce exactly what they don’t want.
And that’s exactly what nearly every progressive person was doing, including myself, leading up to Nov. 5. That includes many transgender and trans-attracted people and, I’m sure, other LGBTQ people too. Yes, I wanted Harris to win. But was my focus purely on that outcome? Nope. I dabbled in resisting Trump. And doing so, I added momentum to all the others wanting him to win, including Trump himself. That’s right, every progressive focusing intently on what Trump was doing vibrationally aligned themselves with the GOP, Trump and MAGA.
And that’s why Trump prevailed in the election. All those progressive points of consciousness became cooperative components of Trump’s desire to win. So he did.
How it really works
So when I say everyone got what they wanted, that’s what happened. By “got what they wanted” I mean, they got what they mainly focused on. This is an important aspect of this “you create your reality” business. We don’t get what we say we want. We don’t even get what we think we want. What we get is the physical match to the dominant vibration we’re emanating. And we emanate through our focus.
When we focus on something we don’t want, if we keep doing that, that’s what’s going to manifest. Life experience is a reflection. It constantly reflects back to us what we’re emanating. Having our focus become visible in this way, life experience helps us understand what we’re emanating, even if we can’t feel the vibration.
This explains why it’s important to not focus on the now so much, especially when it contains what we don’t want. Because when we do that, we are focusing our emanate-or on the reflection of past focus or vibration. Doing that, we create again what we’ve already created in our reflection. That’s how “reality” persists; many points of consciousness are focused on what is, thereby perpetuating it.
To get what we want, we look at our reflection – what we’re emanating – and if what we see is not what we want to create next, then we shift our focus or emanation.
Most of us don’t know that, so when something shows up that we don’t want, we keep focusing on that. We complain about it, or push against it. We tell our friends about it and commiserate. And in doing that we create more of that.
That’s how we all helped Trump win. And yet, there’s a really good outcome inherent in getting what we don’t want. Let’s look at that next.
Setting up the prerequisite
Anyone can use physical reality to figure out what they’re creating. Indeed, that’s what it’s for. However, people can develop sensitivity sufficient to perceive how they’re vibrating too. They also can listen to thoughts they think on the regular. Thoughts are more-manifested vibration, after all. So if our sensitivity to vibration isn’t very keen, we can pay attention to our thinking. If that’s too much work, we can simply observe what shows up in our lives.
Nearly everyone not in a practice such as the one I show clients how to use has insufficient sensitivity to perceive their vibratory emanations. Many trans and trans-attracted people don’t bother thinking about how they’re thinking. They think thinking is just an automatic process. Not something creating their future.
So for all those people, it’s easiest to use their reality to tune to what they want. But some don’t even do that! It’s all good though: since we’re all eternal, we have all the time in the world to learn how to create what we want.
Many trans and trans-attracted people fear their physical reality. They think, for example, that now that Trump is president, they must flee the country. Or, those outside the US must fear the US. That’s flawed thinking because it’s based on a premise that will bite such people in the butt if they don’t realize it’s a flaw. We’ll get to the good outcome I alluded to above. Let’s first look at this flawed premise as a prerequisite. It’s important.
I’ve shared this over and over: each of us exists in our own, individually-created reality. People in our reality are there as reflections. They reflect what we are thinking about the people they represent: strangers, letter carriers, loved ones, family members, coworkers, etc. So no one shares their reality with another. The practice I share makes this absolutely clear by pointing practitioners to evidence proving this the case. If you don’t believe this, then just assume it’s true for now.
Since we’re all in our own reality, and since we’re each the creator of that reality, nothing and no one can create something for us. Only we can. But if we think/believe that someone or something can create our reality, then our reality will reflect that back to us.
How? In the form of a reality seemingly being created by others.
It will also include events seeming to randomly happen, usually against our will. Again, it’s not that someone else is creating it or that what’s happening is random or accidental. We’re creating that experience from the belief (the vibration emanation) that draws that experience to us.
Many beliefs can do that. Here are examples and all them are fairly common in human consciousness:
Life is an accident of random processes
God is real and his will supersedes mine
Accidents happen
Bad luck happens
Good luck happens
Bad things happen to good people
Life is dangerous
Life is random
We never know when our time is up
Transphobes are a threat to my life
If my co-workers find out I’m trans-attracted, I’ll lose my job
Many more similar beliefs exist. But these should give us an idea of what beliefs create realities wherein it looks like others shape our experience.
Where reality comes from
The problem with such beliefs doesn’t end with the fact that they create realities that look like others can control what happens in our experience. Such beliefs, if believed, means that the person holding them must contend with such a reality!
So if we believe the world is going to hell because Trump is now president, we must leave the country, or even the world, if possible, because that belief will create experience consistent with it. I wouldn’t tell someone contemplating moving to Canada to stay in the US, for example. If they believe staying in the US is dangerous, they will perceive evidence proving this true. And eventually, they will attract to themselves experiences confirming the perceived danger.
But here’s the thing: another person, with the exact same conditions minus the belief about Trump will not see that evidence. And if they believe their reality springs from their empowering beliefs, it doesn’t matter that Trump is president. Because the president has no ability to force conditions to play out in our lives. Nor does anyone else. Unless we believe they do.
Focus creates reality. Thoughts create reality. Beliefs create reality. All three of these are the only Source of reality as it exists for each person. It’s important then, to cultivate beliefs consistent with the reality one wants.
But even if we don’t, the Universe and All That Is will help us do so. How? Well, now it’s time to visit that good outcome I mentioned above.
It’s a matter of choice
A hallmark of the practice I share describes the instantaneous creation of our ongoing reality experience. Part of that process includes our physical reality as a reflector. Here’s how that works. Here’s also how Trump winning the election is a good thing, especially for transgender and trans-attracted people.
Since our reality is a reflection, whether we’re conscious of it or not, we immediately know two things in the moment we experience the reflection: we know what we don’t want and we know what we do want.
In the case of “negative” reflections, the “not wanted” is front and center. Our emotions, thoughts and even our bodies sometimes reflect the “unwanted” aspect of an unpleasant experience. For nearly all progressives, Nov. 6 was an “unwanted” reality.
MAGA won with the help of progressives and trans and trans-attracted people.
But in that same instant, progressives also knew what they wanted. No, they didn’t want Tump to not be president. That’s still a focus on Trump, which leads to him being president.
Some progressives wanted freedom to be. Some wanted empowerment in their lives or the lives of people they know. Others wanted a country that, in their mind, cares for others. Many wanted all these things and more.
And in that moment of realization, in knowing what they wanted and what they didn’t want, they had a choice — a crucial choice. They could focus on what they wanted. Or they could focus on what they didn’t want.
I would bet nearly every single progressive in America focused, on Nov 6, on what they didn’t want. And they did that with very strong emotional intent. That’s a problem.
It must be
It’s a problem because all those progressives, while not knowing it, amplified Tump becoming president by focusing on that not-wanted situation and through their focus and emotions added more momentum to what they already focused into existence on Nov 5. It’s exactly what I described above about looking at what is and thereby creating more of that.
But some progressives (myself included) did something different. We expressed curiosity about what happened instead of fear or insecurity. We wondered how this happened. Then, getting an answer (what you’re reading here, dear reader) we decided to focus on what we want. In that focus, held no matter the evidence of the current reflection, we felt better. And in that better-feeling place, we emanate a more positive vibration.
That positive vibration must create a reflection in our lives consistent with that emanation. And it doesn’t matter that Trump won. But any progressives, including trans, trans-attracted and LGBTQ people, who try to do this, but also who believe Trump’s victory does matter, have the same problem progressives focusing on what they do not wanted have: they’re creating a reality for themselves that includes Trump controlling their life experience.
So the good news is, out of a negative experience, we know what we want and what we don’t. Line up with what we want and we will eventually get what we are lined up with. This is how the Universe works, so it MUST BE.
More and more GOP
A lot of progressives worry about other people. They worry about the poor. Some worry about LGBTQ people or other “disadvantaged” people such as BiPOC folks. The problem with that worry is, it doesn’t help.
If everything you just read is accurate (and it is) then those beliefs about those people create a reality for those believers in which those people are disadvantaged. If progressives really want to help others, their best bet is think the most empowering, positive and loving thoughts they can about everyone. Including their enemies (the GOP).
Because the hate or fear or worry progressives hold does nothing but disadvantage the very progressives holding such views. That holds doubly true for hate. Hating conservatives or transphobes doesn’t make them go away. Have you noticed? They haven’t gone anywhere. Indeed, we could say the conservative/transphobe movement has grown, become meaner and more effective. Thanks progressives!
Maybe it’s time we progressives take a different approach. One that nearly every spiritual leader suggests: love your enemies as yourself. I know that the more progressives who do that, the more those progressives’ lives will improve. My life shows that!
But those progressives can’t do anything to help another progressive’s life improve. Remember, we all create our own reality. Each progressive must do it for themselves. And many aren’t ready to do that.
No worry. We’re all eternal. And the world will keep reflecting back to such people a progressively awful life, until they surrender to the only power they have: the power of their Broader Perspective. And when they do, they’ll find everything they want is there.
TL;DR: This is a guest story written by Kari and published with her permission. Kari shares a story in which she revolutionized a lot of feelings about her body, including feelings about her penis. Along the way, she realized many toxic beliefs she – and many trans women – hold. She then encouragesa reaching for greater, more empowering freedom.
I recently found myself at the intersection of two converging trajectories or evolutions and while I can see the outcome approaching fast, I don’t know how I feel about it.
Hold onto your butts, we’re going in….
The first evolution was my discovery of dresses last summer.
I had bought a few dresses over the five years I have been out, but never really worn them. Until last summer, that is.
Some of these dresses were sleeveless and that’s where the problem first appeared.
Comfort in my skin
I had spent the first part of summer wearing short sleeve shirts and the result was a set of very pasty shoulders and tanned forearms.
I looked like a farmer…in a bad way:
You say Farmer Tan, I say Ombré Skin Art
So this summer I decided to even out that tan by spending a few minutes each day in the sun in my bikini. The road to degeneracy is, however, paved with good intentions. Changing into a bikini and then back into clothes mid morning started becoming tiresome. So I started just stripping down to my panties and lying in the sun on our private balcony. This resulted in a nice light tan across my entire body except my butt which was extremely pale.
And that’s how I ended up naked, on the balcony in the sun, daily.
This naked sunbathing made me consider my body and how I felt about myself. The act of slowing down and being quiet outside did make me think that naturists are on to something and I am way more comfortable with myself now.
Ladies, if you ever feel unattractive, spend 15 minutes on your back and 15 minutes on your tummy in the sun daily. By the end of summer you will be more comfortable in your skin. There is just something about having sunshine and a light breeze on your naked skin that improves your confidence. At least it did for me.
And next summer I may join a naturist group.
Okay, so I hope y’all into TMI, because we are about to overshare.
“My filly blunt”
The other evolution is a little complicated. Transition is a slow evolutionary process. During this summer, perhaps triggered in part by my nude sunbathing or other factors, my sexuality, or rather my sexual expression, started to surface again.
Let me explain.
When switching your governing hormone your sexuality does some strange stuff. Since starting HRT my entire understanding of my own sexuality and how I express it has been completely rewritten. There was a period, shortly after I started HRT, where I almost completely lost interest in anything sexual. Then about two years ago a slow process of re-emergence started.
Slowly the lights have been coming on again so to speak.
When this happened I noted a shift in who I was attracted to, how I was attracted to them and how I thought about and experienced sex.
I also started to engage with my sexuality and its expression in new ways. An example of this is that I now find pleasure in erotic images of myself. I enjoy sharing erotic but tasteful artistic pictures with my partner. To be blunt, I started sending artsy dick-pics to my partner.
Censorship is the antithesis of free speech and must be resisted in all its manifold forms, specifically this form that deprives the viewer of the majestic image that has been redacted.
Oh and if you’re wondering, judging by the response, dick-pics are just one more thing women just do better than men.
Okay, enough waffling about sunbathing and erotic art, this isn’t an art blog or a sunlight therapy woo page on Facebook. This is a transsexual blog and I know you’re here for the same reasons Republicans and Gender Criticals go to Pornhub.
You’re here for the girl-dick.
So let’s talk about this filly’s blunt.
Exploring my nudity
I can’t speak for men but judging by the quality of the examples of the masculine dick-pics I have seen, men don’t think about their genitals in the same way women do. I think for men a picture of their genitals is a visual cv for their sexual qualities.
They are functional images. Its this big, its this long and its shaped in this manner which will have this effect on you when I use it in these ways. Lighting, context, focus and composition are all lost in the singular pursuit of graphic exposure. The male dick-pic is the construction drawing of nude art.
Before transition I didn’t understand the dick-pic. I assumed it was a matter of dysphoria. Showing nudes of myself that featured my penis just felt uncomfortable and ugly.
I hated it.
However, this summer I decided to explore the art of nude self portraits. I had seen a particular content creator on Instagram who specifically makes erotic self portraits via photography and I like her stuff, so I decided to try it myself.
Over the last few months, whenever I have been inspired, I have taken photos of myself in various states of undress.
“Proudly displaying their junk”
One of the things I noted very quickly was that I didn’t have that alien feeling when genitals were visibly in the images, either explicitly or implied by “the bulge”. In fact, I started to see the beauty in these photos. I didn’t see a person struggling with discordant genitals or pathetically resigned to the misery of not being able to do anything about her penis.
I legitimately saw a naked woman with a beautiful dick.
Of course the question that raised itself to me was, did I find this girl-dick beautiful because its mine and attached to me or was it all girl-dicks that had suddenly become beautiful?
My questions led me to the Trans-HiveMind.
I went back to Tumblr.
And on Tumblr I found a lot of girl-dick.
I found trans women proudly displaying their junk and trans women not so proudly displaying their junk with captions asking “would you still date me if you knew about my dick?”
Looking at these images I noted the “would you date a trans woman” posts are as tragic as those Only Fans Milfs on Insta who aim their content at middle-aged dude’s crotches.
Ladies, men don’t need begging.
Why the Fuck do we Tuck?
The posts made by trans women who are clearly comfortable with their genitals on the other hand are beautiful. In fact they are as beautiful as images of women with vaginas.
However, this is not an article to sing the praises of and promote the beauty of girl-dick.
I have far more sinister motives than that and we already know girl-dick is gorgeous.
What I am saying is girl-dick is no less desirable or beautiful or feminine than girl-vagina and when we accept this simple truth, we must ask: Why the Fuck do we Tuck?
We don’t tuck because our genitals are ugly.
We don’t tuck because it’s comfortable.
We don’t even tuck because we suffer dysphoria.
Rock it unapologetically
We tuck because we have been told by heteronormative society that women have vaginas and if your crotch isn’t a smooth, flat front then you are a man.
We have internalized the idea that we cannot be beautiful women when we have a little extra in our undies. We believe men see us, trans women, as second class because we don’t have a genital configuration that ignorance and regressive societal rules have mandated as the gold standard.
Today’s gaff is, for trans women, no different from last century’s whale boned corset for cis women. We don’t need to squeeze our organs into new positions and uncomfortable contortions to be beautiful. We don’t have to mould ourselves to the society’s regressive ideas to be beautiful.
We simply need to rock that bulge unapologetically and one day, society will catch up.
One day, a trans woman is going to walk down the catwalk at Paris Fashion week untucked and no one is going to bat an eye about the girl-dick.
Well, maybe I do know how I feel about the outcome of that intersection now.
TL;DR: The author shares their enthusiasm for the revelation that a prominent Republican is a “Chaser”. They then describe how this is a positive sign, a sign that things are improving for transgender people.
Back in February I wrote a post about how conservative populations include some of the most trans-attracted people despite that population’s anti-trans rhetoric. It was a story I enjoyed writing, mainly because evidence supporting the story was so compelling. I also wrote about how blatant hypocrisy among conservative transphobes was, in fact, fueling momentum for the “future inclusion of trans people”.
Now, this past week, life served a perfect example of that hypocrisy…on steroids.
Last week, CNN outed prominent republican and Trump darling Lieutenant Governor Mark Robinson as a hypocrite, a self-proclaimed “Black Nazi” and more. But what really made him news to this blog is that the story reveals extensive evidence of Robinson being an avid trans-porn consumer, making him a trans-attracted, queer. In other words…his own words… “a perv…”
His history is clear
Now, trans-attraction isn’t a bad thing. There are probably hundreds of thousands of men who are trans-attracted. I write about this all the time on this blog from a positive perspective. I’ve even defined an evolutionary process trans-attracted men move through as they come to accept what they are.
Robinson is at the “chaser” stage of this process. He had been unwilling to admit his attraction publicly. Now that the news is out against his will, he’s denying it vehemently. That makes sense. Robinson vilifies trans people and gay people as part of his far right political platform. The record is clear on Robinson’s thoughts about trans and gay people.
Indeed, his hypocrisy contributes to what I described in my post back in February. It:
“…creates a lot of unnecessary nail-biting and hand wringing. It also creates a lot of wasted time and expense. Not to mention anxiety and self-loathing among those I love. After all, unless one is positively focused, loving oneself is really hard in today’s society. Especially when swaths of the population hate what you are…”
“…supports the unseemly double-standard Republicans hold when it comes to trans people: they secretly love what they publicly hate.”
This anecdotal, yet factual evidence from Robinson’s past adds to the body of evidence showing that a lot of conservatives are also trans-attracted or even queer themselves. Even while they attack people in our community.
With Robinson’s outing, his political career might be losing steam. For now, the GOP-er refuses to embrace his past. How could he? It already might be career-ending. Trump, for example, already delisted him from his next presidential rally according to news reports.
The world is getting better
As ugly as his views are, we can see this news from an empowering, positive perspective. One is we once again have our suspicions confirmed: many of those trying to restrict trans freedoms are, in fact, trans-attracted and may themselves be trans or at least queer. Second, we can see much of their rhetoric reflects a strong momentum of self-denial and even self-loathing. I mean, come on! A black man supporting a return to the days of slavery????
So these people are acting out of a profound lack of self-acceptance. That’s worthy of our compassion. Not anger.
Third, there are people out in the world working to make trans lives freer, safer and more prosperous. Some of those people don’t know consciously that that’s what they’re doing. But they do the work anyway. Thank goodness too for the internet archive, which, apparently CNN used to verify much of what they found about Robinson.
The world is getting better for trans people. I’ve written this so many times. Revelations about Robinson strike nerves for sure. But they also add to the many examples showing trans-phobes for what they actually are. Often they’re legitimate chasers, so consumed in self-hate that they project their hate onto the very people they secretly love.
The more of these stories come out, the better life gets for trans people. The more stories about trans people that get made, the better life gets for trans people. And as more men come out proudly loving trans women, the better the world gets too. So much is happening making the world better for trans women.
So let’s thank Robinson. He’s not doing it consciously. But as his past acts catch up with him and hopefully ruin his career, they’re also making the world better.
