It’s fun watching my life shape to my stories. It feels wonderful seeing my positive stories legitimize themselves by creating realities consistent with them. The same thing happens with my Transamorous Network clients.
I know all stories do that, of course. Any story told long enough will draw to the storyteller evidence proving the story “true”. When enough evidence gets created, the story no longer is a story. It becomes reality, then a belief. The belief fades into the background of awareness, and life becomes “how it is.”
That’s accurate to say for any story, any thought, that has become a belief. Which is why I don’t concern myself with people who disagree with me about what I share.
Plenty of people out there think “you create your reality through your stories” is hogwash. But they don’t understand the preceding paragraphs. They don’t know their story “it’s hogwash” became a belief long ago, is out of their awareness now that it has become a belief, and attracts evidence of its “truth”.
That’s why I don’t spend time trying to convince someone “you create your reality through your stories.”
Unless they’re a Transamorous Network client. 😊
Transamorous Network clients are different
A client is open. They’re willing to consider new possibilities. They want to believe. Their frustration over their trans-attraction compels them to be open. That makes seeing around existing beliefs more likely.
What I love about what I do with my clients is this: It’s easy for me to say “you create your reality through your stories” and point to my life, as full of evidence as it is. But it’s also easy for people seeing that evidence to dismiss it.
But as more clients come to The Transamorous Network, and create extraordinary lives as my current clients are, it gets harder and harder to deny that something special is happening.
All my clients are extraordinarily excited about their lives. They’re engaged and happy. They’re having fun discovering what I’ve discovered. And in their discovery I find joy too.
Client work then becomes play, a win-win for both parties. My clients enjoy Charmed Lives. I enjoy watching that. And I grow a larger and larger, undeniable body of evidence that being transamorous can be not only fun, but joyfully filled with fulling desires.
The reason why many transgender, trans-attracted and transamorous people have such a hard time meeting their matches is because they resist what they want.
A Transamorous Network client recently had an experience worth sharing. It not only shows how stories create reality, it also shows how, usually, trans and trans-attracted people don’t see connections between their stories and realities their stories create.
Not seeing those connections is why many transgender and trans-attracted people’s lives are so dismal, unsatisfying, lonely, depressing and more. Many such people feel powerless around doing something about such lives.
That’s why it’s important to know stories create reality. It’s also important knowing how to read the signs telling you what stories are creating what reality.
So let’s now turn to Selene’s story.
A transgender woman creates while not knowing she’s creating
Selene, who happens to be trans, came to her session in good spirits. She had a good New Year’s and Christmas, spent mostly at home with her family. The farm where she lives sits on cold, frozen farmland, but inside her home, good cheer, good food and family filled the space and warmed Selene’s heart.
That good cheer extended to her father, mother and sister, all of whom laughed and ate and opened presents together. Selene enjoyed a good family holiday. That mood continued days following Christmas.
Enjoying the holidays while being trans or trans-attracted is not as hard as you think. Click the photo to find out more. (Photo by Joanna Kosinska on Unsplash)
A couple days before her session, a customer entered the Starbucks where Selene works, ordered a drink, then took off his mask. He started drinking his beverage in the store. That behavior violated Starbucks’ COVID-19 policy.
Selene saw the customer and politely explained to him that, one, he couldn’t remove his mask while in the store and, two, he could not drink his beverage inside.
The man looked Selene up and down, then said “Are you trying to control what I’m doing sir?”
Then she heard her assistant manager behind her say “Sir, Selene is a woman, not a man. You must leave now.”
As the unruly customer turned to go, Selene added “It’s also illegal to retaliate against workers when they enforce statewide COVID policy.”
Not seeing the connections…until they’re seen
In her session a couple days after this experience, Selene wondered aloud why she experienced this. She thought such an experience wouldn’t happen since she’s been telling positive stories, evidenced by such a good holiday with her family.
Why did this unruly man enter her life experience? Why did she have such a confrontation? I remained silent.
A moment later, Selene started talking about something else. She thought she changed the subject. Little did she know, she was about to answer her questions herself.
Selene said she read an article on the internet. It described a new law now in effect in her area. It protects workers from retaliation when they enforce COVID-19 policies in their workplace.
After reading the article, Selene said, she liked the new law. She told me she thought about how cool it would be to have an experience where she could use it.
I looked at Selene silently. She got my look and smiled. It didn’t need saying, but I said it anyway:
“There is no mystery about this experience,” I said. “You were in your positive momentum of the holidays, feeling good, revelling in joy with your family. Then you read this article and felt confidence in the new information. Feeling confident, you declared wanting to use that law. So you created an experience consistent with your declaration: an opportunity to use it.”
Who comes into your experience depends on the stories you tell.
It’s obvious once seen
Life always shows how stories create reality. Most miss the connections, because they don’t believe that’s what’s happening. So when something happens now, they forget past nows wherein a story was told that creates the now happening.
Once you know how to see the clues, they’re obvious.
Here’s the formula using Selene’s example:
Selene felt wonderful from previous nows with her family. Those previous nows were born of work she’s been doing with The Transamorous Network for the last two years about her family.
In her wonderful feeling, she attracted a news story specifically about her work as a customer-facing employee. It’s likely Selene had an unexpressed desire to feel more protected at work around COVID and her gender. Thus her life experience revealed this news to her.
In the revealing, Selene felt better about her work as a customer-facing Starbucks employee. That confidence took it a step further: it had her express a desire for an experience matching that confidence, which would bolster said confidence.
Then she dropped the whole idea. She thought about it no further. She didn’t share the article. She forgot it until she brought it up in our session.
So, in only a few days, she got exactly the experience she wanted.
It always works this way…or it can
This is how stories always create reality. The reason why transgender and trans-attracted people have such a hard time meeting their matches, or getting anything they want, is because they resist what they want by focusing almost totally on what they don’t want.
They focus on sucky relationships they have or had. They focus on sucky relationships other trans or trans-attracted people share on social media. They think about tranny chasers, gold diggers and “hoes”. They are impatient with not having the relationship they want. They wallow in loneliness, yearning and sadness.
If instead transgender and trans-attracted people talked about positive things happening in their lives, about the positive aspects of relationships they DO have, about things they enjoy about their lives now, their lives would gradually include more of those things. And less negative people, experiences and circumstances.
Loving relationships aren’t hard to find. But if you think they are, then they are hard to find. The way out isn’t looking for loving relationships when you think they’re hard to find. The way out is changing your story about relationships.
I know what I want, when I get it, makes me happy. I also know when I’m happy I set up more future happy moments.
But since every time I get what I want, I am happy, I can just be happy, even when I’m not getting what I want.
I can be happy now, no matter what is happening.
This is the basis of our work at The Transamorous Network. I know when I put my happiness first, by telling stories about my life that make me happy, I put myself on a path to living a happy life. That’s because a happy life looks like feeling happy in every moment.
What happens in my life, when I’m not deliberate about choosing happiness, determines how I feel. But life doesn’t have to be that way. I can turn it around. I can choose to be happy, no matter what I’m experiencing, then experience good things always.
I know when I do that my life fills with happy experiences. Such as meeting transgender women in delightful ways. I know this because I’ve tried it and it has always worked out that way. I also know this because my The Transamorous Network clients get exactly the same results.
It’s a bit more complicated than that, but in a short while, I’ve created a life filled with happy experiences. So have my clients.
So this holiday season, I appreciate what I’ve realized: That life is happy when I am happy. And the happier I am, the more my life shapes to my happiness. In my happiness, I don’t need my life to change. But because I’m not focused on my life needing to change, because I’m not telling stories about how bad my life is, my life changes.
It’s a paradox, but it’s true.
I’m grateful for what I’ve discovered. And I’m loving seeing people who have come to me seeking relief from anxiety, insecurities, shame and other life problems, find relief and more, simply by telling better stories.
I appreciate knowing life is supposed to be fun, joyful and filled with fulfilled desires. I appreciating having such a life. And I appreciate sharing what I know with others, then seeing their life turn out that way too.
The easiest, most fun way to find yourself in a rewarding relationship with your ideal transgender partner is by becoming a match to your ideal. You do that by telling positive stories about life.
Speaking practically, telling positive stories creates positive life experiences. Consistent positive story telling creates momentum. Momentum held long enough, will draw your ideal partner right into your bed, guaranteed.
Simple experiments prove this. One need not understand or believe metaphysical or spiritual explanations for why this happens.
Think about it: if you want that beautiful, smart, confident, strong, capable courageous, proud and powerful transgender woman, and you are not beautiful, smart, confident, strong, capable courageous, proud and powerful, you’re not a match to what you want. You get what you think about, what you “be” about, i.e. what you tell stories about.
The stories you tell become who you are. From there, your life experience literally erupts from you, creating experience, people and events matching your stories. Everyone does this all day every day. Most don’t realize they’re doing it.
Why does life work this way?
Positive stories cause human senses to filter out anything not perceived positive. Again: our senses filter experience all day every day, allowing only experiences consistent with our persistent stories. Many transgender women, on balance, are fairly negative, so their life experiences match that.
Same with trans-attracted men’s stories about themselves, about life, probably and about transgender women. If one’s beliefs about trans women aren’t consistent with the trans woman one wants, guess what kind of trans woman one meets? If ones stories about themselves aren’t empowering, inspiring, positive and joyful, one gives off “vibes” consistent with disempowering, uninspiring, negative stories. It’s simple.
You may ask: What about people who seem positive? Why do they have seeming random negative events happen? Someone once told me a story of a trans woman they believed was always positive. She even practiced “the power of positive thinking”. Yet, someone murdered this trans woman.
The thing about creating reality is, one best knows what reality they’re creating in two ways: how they feel, and what shows up in their reality. It’s near impossible to tell what another has in their collection of stories by watching how they behave, or what they say. It’s much better watching how their life goes.
A lot of people who appear positive and happy, are not. They are insecure, lonely, they feel vulnerable, afraid and judged. Many seemingly successful and happy people exemplified this. Robin Williams, Freddie Prinze, Anthony Bourdain, Margaux Hemingway, Daniel Lee Martin, Philip Seymour Hoffman and many others struggled with pain and depression, finally taking their own lives when they appeared on the surface as “successful”.
So people usually have both positive and negative stories going on in their heads at the same time. Their lives include events exemplifying both.
Random negative experiences, such as getting robbed or raped, hit by a bus, or assaulted for being trans aren’t random. They come from long-term focus on negative stories or mixed stories with a negative ones outweighing positive ones.
The benefit of emotions
Often people can’t hear stories they’re telling. That’s why humans come equipped with emotions. Negative stories feel like “fear”, “insecurity”, “worry” or “victimhood”. Told often enough such stories become the person.
From the person then erupts experiences, people and events consistent with stories they’ve become. That’s why people get robbed, raped, hit by a bus or assaulted for being trans.
The same things happen for shame-filled trans-attracted men. Their negative stories about their attraction matches them to trans women who share similar (although not identical) stories. In other words, such men meet trans women who are not beautiful, smart, confident, strong, capable courageous, proud and powerful.
Often such feelings get past one’s perception because one focuses too much on what’s happening outside their head. Focus works best when it predominantly focuses on what’s happening inside one’s head first, since everything happening outside one’s head springs from what happens inside one’s head.
Negativity owes itself to positivity
Very few people chronically tell positive stories. There are many people, and a lot of trans women telling negative stories though. Everyone’s life matches their stories.
But even negative story tellers from time to time experience positive experiences. They do because a little positivity overwhelms tons of negativity. It does because negative “energy” isn’t an energy. Negative “energy” is what happens when positive energy gets diminished.
In other words, negative “energy” owes its existence to its relativity to positive energy. It has no substance, no independent existence of its own. It is defined by a lack of positivity.
What’s more, a chronically negative person still is, at the core, pure positive energy. That energy, no matter how obscured it may be by negative focus, still can overcome its overshadowed state when the negative-focused person drops their guard.
When he’s not paying attention, asleep or doing something “mindless” such as driving a car, taking a shower or experiencing something fun, positive focus’ power eeks through. That’s why a negative person can sometimes experience positive experiences.
Positive benefits feel fun
When I’m positive and excited by my positive stories, when I’m enthusiastic and eager about what I’m up to (or planning), I open up. I’m open to possibility, I see things consistently negative people can’t.
The world is full of delights.
Staying positive I produce results easily and fast. More important, on the way to those outcomes, I enjoy life more. That means life experience becomes more entertaining, more fun, more positive.
“Happy accidents”, what some people call “luck”, happen often for people telling positive stories. It’s not luck, but who cares what it’s called? Through such events problems solve themselves faster compared to focusing on the problem, trying to find a solution or trying to make a solution work.
When negative, one sees more negativity. Such focus turns things into “impossible problems.” When someone filters life through negative stories, the sheer enormity of bad things in the world overwhelms awareness. Every Transamorous guy becomes a “tranny chaser”. Every trans woman is a potential victim, every trans woman a guy meets ends up being a skeezer, working girl or gold digger.
A lot of people stand in such negative stories. Yet no such experiences need happen to anyone.
That’s incredibly naive
Someone reading this may not believe a bit of it. The majority of people believe negative situations described above are just natural parts of being trans-attracted, transgender or human.
I know, and my clients know, this is NOT NATURAL. Anyone well-practiced in telling positive stories discovers this.
A Positively Focused person knows her life experience springs ongoingly from her, not others. So she focuses on the one thing that really matters: her focus, not what others say, do or believe. Which is why my clients sometimes find their old friends getting on their nerves. My clients become so positive and their old friends’ chronic negativity so obvious, they become like oil and water: intolerable of each other.
Here’s the critical thing about being negative: It’s very hard to turn that train around. A life-long “realistic”, pessimistic or negative person may feel right about the world they experience. And they will be right.
They’ll be right because life experience springs from their stories. That doesn’t mean an alternative experience, one in which all desires fulfill themselves, including desire to have their ideal partner in their bed, doesn’t exist.
Momentum is momentum though. It takes a lot of work initially reversing negative-focus momentum. Since lives full of fulfilled desires are possible for everyone, that work pales in comparison to benefits derived, making the effort worth it.
Desires fulfilling themselves.It’s a life available to anyone, because everyone at their core is positively focused. It’s worth it. It’s fun and it’s everyone’s birthright. Even for trans and trans-attracted people.
Not living one’s birthright, in my opinion, is living. But just barely. Wanting that ideal woman in your bed is no fun if all you have is an empty bed.
