Where’s your manhood?

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And more importantly, who is defining it? Are you allowing other people, particularly your broke friends who are doing nothing really significant to define for you what manhood is? Are you allowing society to tell you what manhood is? Are you letting your family make that decision for you?

“No” you say?

Well, if you find yourself irresistibly attracted to transwomen, and you’re in the closet about that attraction, then, to put it plainly: you’re a liar.

We talked a lot about this last Monday night in our Facebook show IN YOUR FACE. The fact is, when you let others define what you are (men and transwomen alike) you life a life of shame and embarrassment. Instead, you have the option to be the courageous being you came into the world to be, be-damned what other people think. That’s your destiny.

Why are you letting other people dictate how you feel about yourself?

“I’m not.” You say. Really? So transwomen: why are you out seeking validation of your womanhood from a guy, from facebook, from craigslist, instead of going out and proudly living your life out loud, proud, and thereby finding all the joys of life you came to live? Why are you settling for in-the-shadows relationships, superficial sex-only relationships, or relationships that are otherwise demeaning?

Men: why are you allowing “what others might think” to keep you from being the proud human being you actually are, proud in all its glory, including your trans-attraction? For there is nothing about you to be shamed about. Especially your trans-attraction.

A man defines his own reality. He doesn’t let others define it for him.

The moment you begin to take back control of your reality-creation, you’ll be on your way to meeting the transwoman of your dreams. Every other transwoman you meet is a match to the shame-filled, creeper, down-low life your living.

And you wonder why you’re meeting skeezers, weirdos and gold diggers.

Up your game. Own your reality. Define what it means to be a man and fuck anyone who tries to tell you otherwise. THAT’S how you begin down the path of finding the transwoman of your dreams.

DeVos becomes latest unlikely Trans ally

Betsy DeVos trans allyDepartment of Education Secretary Betsy DeVos recently joined a long-running list of trans-allies when she declared recently her department would no longer hear cases where transgender students were denied using the bathroom matching their identity.

WTF you say?

We have always asserted, and will continue to do so, that often those you think are the vilest enemies of transpeople, actually are allies. In a world where everything is always working out for everyone, there’s no such thing as an “enemy”. For even “enemies” foster fertile ground for getting what you want.

Take Trump, for example. Many on the left, and pretty much every transgender person in the United States, save maybe Cait Jenner, believes Trump is the vilest of enemies of the transgender movement. Yet, from our perspective, Trump’s presidential win, his administration and his policies are responsible for some of the most significant and proactive initiatives. Those initiatives will have long-lasting implications for the United States; particularly in the legislative branch, and in courtrooms and city halls across the country. For now, more than ever, we see person after person, who happens to be trans, running – and winning – public office.

What’s more, we see more and more transgender leaders throughout our society – models, CEOs, inventors, school teachers, school principals – coming out one after the other. Following them are scores of young people who are far more comfortable identifying out of the gender binary than at any time in the history of the country. And following them are man companies realizing the right side of the transgender issue is supporting transgender people.

These trends are sure to continue. As we have said before, conservative agendas are losing agendas. Progress will always prevail in the end. DeVos will not forever be head of the education department. Nor will Trump administration policies remain in place forever. Neither will The Donald.

Besides, there are far more interesting things to be focusing your attention on than what’s happening in Washington. A great place for your scrutiny: what’s happening in your head. I presume, since you’re reading this, that you’re either transgender, or trans-attracted or transamorous. If you fall into any of these categories, it would behoove you to think about why you’re still hiding the fact that you are trans, or that you find transgender people attractive, if that’s what you’re doing. With so much positivity happening in the country,  the time couldn’t be better for you to come out.

Besides, it’s highly likely if you do, those who matter in your life will embrace you. Once you embrace yourself.

Men: How to love yourself

clem-onojeghuo-YOU GOTTA LOVE YOURSELF
Photo credit: Clem Onojeghuo

Learning how to love yourself is a life-long process that produces results immediately. You also get all you’re wanting. So it’s important that men learn to love themselves. Because that is the access to everything you want. Including the love of your life who happens to be transgender.

 

By “loving themselves” I don’t mean in this macho way that looks like false pride or false humility. By “loving themselves”, I mean discovering who you are. From that, love of self comes naturally.  It can’t help but come because “love” is what you are. So when you discover who you are, you naturally come to love and appreciate yourself. And when that happens, the Universe yields all that you want. Actually, it is always doing that, but your lack of self-love blocks what you’re wanting. “Lack of self-love” looks like stories you tell yourself that crate the reality you don’t want.

I know, sounds all woo. But it isn’t. It’s real. It sounds like woo because that’s what society (and science) tells us about what you’re reading. Religion tells us that too. And often religious people don’t love themselves. Or others. So we get confused about what “love” is when people profess to love but don’t. Particularly when it comes to loving themselves.

But with practice, everyone can find out what love is, simply by examining who and what they are. How? Read on…

First, learn to see positive in everything. I really mean this. You won’t believe how powerful this is (until you do it consistently). Most people I’ve worked with have a hard time getting beyond “superficial” perceptions of “positivity” and into the deep recognition.

For example, take the room you’re in. If I ask: “Tell me ten things that are positive about the room you’re in.” You might easily be able to do that. But if I say “take three minutes and tell me everything in the room that is positive”, most people barely make it to two minutes before they’re having to think really hard about it.

But with practice, you begin to realize just how much much we’re surrounded by positive things: situations, people, events, and more. As that practice expands your conscious awareness, you begin to realize that maybe there’s more to what you see with your ordinary eyes, ears, nose and such.

It seems crazy but seeing everything in a positive way really is the way to loving yourself. There’s more to it, of course, but it’s a perfect start.

Some guys reading this may say “I already love myself”. So far, I’ve seen even the most confident, open people have deep, negative stories about self-worth and self-value, indicating that, while they may appear self-loving on the outside, in reality they are not.

So begin the exploration today. It’s easy and with time you’ll see amazing results. Including the rendezvous with the partner of your dreams. We promise!

A life worth living can be yours

ariel-lustre YOU CAN HAVE IT ALLIf there is anything that’s worth having in life, it’s a life worth living.

A life full of fun, a life full of joy, a life full of freedom, wealth and love…all these are possible…for everyone. Even you.

Of course, at The Transamorous Network we focus on realizing that relationship you’ve always wanted. Yes, we mean “always”. For you may not have been aware of your transattraction, but it has always been a part of you.

So yes, you always wanted it. And that wanting has put a lot of different potential partners into your reality experience.

But your connection to that stream of perfect-partners-for-you feels like a freaking nightmare when you’re living life oblivious to how life “happens”, how it is created (by you) in hour present-moment experience. With this mindset, it’s difficult to see how life is working out perfectly for you. Even when it is.

And it always is.

Men: You are getting everything you want. If you aren’t having that experience in your life, it’s because you’re shooting yourself in the foot by living unconsciously.

Women: Same for you.

You don’t have to buy our guide for men or our guide for transwomen to understand this. But it sure makes the process of understanding easier. Otherwise, you gotta keep coming back here and reading all this. We don’t mind though. Keep coming back. As with life, there’s always something more to learn.

Trans attraction and the fear of death

LOVING YOU OUT LOUD MEANS
Closeted trans attracted men’s unspoken fear

Coming out as transattracted could be equated to dying: It’s a scary thing. Like death though there’s nothing to be afraid of. Although we can understand the fear.

We’ve been told all our lives that death is a scary thing. Religions have equated death to an ultimate judgement day, where your creator and you review your life and, well….it’s harps or fires baby! Other faiths suggest nothingness, paradises and such. But despite the afterlife stories, most of us irrationally fear death. Especially the first part, usually marked by some kind of massive illness, sudden traumatic experience like an accident or other violence. That must be what lead someone to once say “It’s not death I fear. It’s the dying part that’s scary!”

Science is getting around to soothing concerns about the afterlife. We here at The Transamorous Network have known all along that death holds nothing but amazement. As an aside we wonder why there is the death penalty. For killing someone as punishment is actually sending that person somewhere far better than ordinary life experience. We shake our heads in humanity’s misperception of the experience.

But we digress.

For trans attracted men in the closet, the fear of shame of humiliation in friends and family discovering one’s attraction to transgender women can be even scarier than death. We get it: at least when you die, presumably (this isn’t accurate but let’s go with it) you no longer have to face what others think of you. But here in life experience, you do. And for sure, there are some pockets of the world where being attracted to transgender women is problematic. So coming out as transattracted can have really scary consequences.

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Nas got it right. Same applies to coming out as trans attracted – the only thing to fear, is the fear.

Or can it? Well in some places perhaps. But most of the time, experience of other transattracted men has shown that coming out is more about the fear of fear itself, rather than something akin to dying. For nearly every man we know who has owned their trans attraction then come out to friends and family has found the process surprisingly lacking drama. We think that’s because of something we harp on a lot at The Transamorous Network.

You see, people respond to unspoken communication you send out about yourself. There’s a lot of depth to this, but put plainly: people read your self-confidence…or lack thereof. If you aren’t confident in who you are and how you live, people pick up on that as mirrors of you. A mirror reflects all that you see back at you. Focus on that zit and that’s all you see. Focus on the flab…the same.

But focus on the perfection that is you, including the perfection that is your trans attraction and, oh, the mirror that is society will reflect back to you the confidence you feel when you realize there is nothing wrong or shameful about finding transwomen beautiful, other than the collective indoctrination stemming from puritanical, cultural, familial biases and prejudices. These things are always made up. They are never truth. Nor are they accurate.

So think about it man. We are approached every so often via the comments section or an email by a guy who has come into their own trans attraction, moving into transamory and we can tell you, the joy in these guys’ hearts is worth the risk – and it’s a false risk – that comes with confidently owning this important part of who you are.

There is no death. And in your trans attraction there is no shame.