Tag: Trans-attraction

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How Lesbian Trans Women Best Meet Great Matches

Photo by We-Vibe Toys on Unsplash

Editor’s note: this post comes in two parts. The second part follows next week.

Good news: Transgender men and cis women now write us asking for advice on creating dating success. We always knew this would happen. The Transamorous Network exists to assist the entire transgender community. That always included transgender men.

It also includes anyone who feels attracted to transgender people. And of course, it includes transgender women who are lesbian.

Today, we’re offering this post addressing the latter group. Specifically, we’re responding to the following comment we recently got via our contact page:

My problem with all of this is: what about transgender women who are not attracted to men? I am one of those. Yes, I have had bisexual encounters in the past, but that was purely to satisfy a sexual desire at the time.

I honestly have never felt any attraction towards men, hence if I’m thinking about a committed relationship, I would love to hear how and where a transgender female can meet someone that is potentially interested in her. I find it a very tricky topic: going to a typical lesbian venue could easily lead to having difficulties because of being a trans person. And that seriously limits the options to meet someone. I genuinly have not been able to think of a solution for this challenge. So, I would love to see an article on it!

To start, we’re going to burst a bubble. Don’t worry, it’s a good thing. Ready?

Lesbian dating isn’t unique

Some people think their status, whatever it is, makes them unique. Recently on Medium.com, we got a disparaging comment attempting to chastise us for offering advice to the transgender community when The Transamorous Network founder, who is non-binary and prefers “they/them” pronouns, themselves aren’t trans.

Our response to that person is the same response we offer everyone. The “trans” experience is not special. Nor is it unique. Like any other experience people experience, the transgender experience is a HUMAN experience. The same holds for transgender women who know themselves to be lesbian.

And, since the human experience fits in with the way the Universe works, the best, most fun way for transgender women who love women to meet their matches coincides with the way transgender heterosexual women and trans-attracted men meet their matches.

Said differently: transgender lesbian humans and their experiences are highly susceptible to stories such people tell about their experiences. In fact, it is ONLY their stories influencing their experiences.

Now some might respond with the worn out trope about blaming victims. Pessimistic people will say women who get raped aren’t creating that reality. They’ll jump to such examples while not thinking about what they’re saying.

As hard as it might be to hear, people experience rape the same way people who get what they want experience that. Were that false, if any exception existed to what we offer as “Universal Laws”, these “laws” couldn’t be called “laws”.

It doesn’t matter what you are. You can have everything you want. But you first must become a match. Living a transgender experience combined with a lesbian experience makes it no more difficult.

Extraordinary opportunity

What so many miss when they get caught up in the false “rape/victim blame scenario”, is the ENORMOUS power and ability available in the statement “stories create reality.”

If “stories create reality” is true (it is), then NOTHING IS OFF THE TABLE. Everything is possible. Everything! Not only is everything possible, everything possible (that’s everything) can happen with no effort on anyone’s part.

So not only can everyone get ANYTHING they want, they can get it super EASY.

This means a transgender lesbian meeting her perfect match is super easy. All she need do is figure out how “stories create reality”, then implement that how.

Our clients get this. That’s why their lives excite them. And, the more evidence they create proving to them “stories create reality”, the more excited they get.

Their excitement comes accompanied by happiness. After all, how can you not be happy when you see everything you want, and then some, happening?

So smart people who hear “stories create reality” immediately see this extraordinary opportunity. The opportunity to create and have anything they want. Instead of jumping to the “rape/victim blaming scenario”, smart people will say “tell me how this works!”

There’s no reason a transgender person’s experience shouldn’t be filled with self-fulfilling desires. And, those desires can happen easy, making life equally easy.

How stories create mis-matches

Let’s just accept for now that “stories create reality”, whether you believe that or not. From that accurate assertion then, let’s examine the comment we got through our website. You’ll see how the commenter’s stories create the reality she experiences as described in the comment. Here it is again. No scrolling up required:

My problem with all of this is: what about transgender women who are not attracted to men? I am one of those. Yes, I have had bisexual encounters in the past, but that was purely to satisfy a sexual desire at the time.

I honestly have never felt any attraction towards men, hence if I’m thinking about a committed relationship, I would love to hear how and where a transgender female can meet someone that is potentially interested in her. I find it a very tricky topic: going to a typical lesbian venue could easily lead to having difficulties because of being a trans person. And that seriously limits the options to meet someone. I genuinly have not been able to think of a solution for this challenge. So, I would love to see an article on it!

The first story the writer offers is that “there is a problem”.

If a person thinks a problem exists, they need an answer. The problem with finding the answer is, if one keeps looking at the problem, they can’t get the answer. That’s why it’s so hard to find something that’s lost.

So long as our friend here looks at her problem “finding out how to meet a woman she can love”, for example, she is not open to the solution. So it won’t come.

That’s the first story she must soothe.

How does she do that?

Create better stories

She makes up any number of stories that turn “the problem” into something else. Any of these will work:

  • Lots of times in the past I discovered an answer about X. I can do that again.
  • I don’t have to know the answer to get the answer
  • I’m eager to see how I will meet my wonderful match
  • I don’t need to be in a hurry about this
  • I have plenty of time to figure this out
  • More challenging things have worked out in my life than this

These new stories can soothe the “problem story” our friend keeps telling into irrelevance.

The old saw “what you resist persists” is true. So does “what you look at continues to be”. If our friend doesn’t like that she can’t find a female lover, she must stop looking at the fact that she doesn’t have one and can’t find one. Sounds crazy, but that’s only because people don’t understand why this works.

The key to coming up with better feeling stories is new stories that make the story teller feel better. That means the ability to feel is extremely important.

In part two, we’ll continue looking at stories this woman tells that keeps her not having what she wants. Then recommend how she can get exactly what she wants.

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A New Client Raves Over His Great Results

Photo by Janita Sumeiko on Unsplash

Some transgender people – it’s never trans-attracted men – get triggered by how I support the transgender community. They don’t realize their getting triggered has nothing to do with me or what I do. It’s all about their insecurity, triggered by stories they’re telling.

I often respond by telling such people my clients and the community in general benefit hugely from what I offer, evidenced by many people offering thanks, appreciation and examples of how it helps them. Nearly all my clients stick with me because what they get in transformed lives far exceeds how much it costs.

This is why I guarantee the results I promise.

My most recent client offers a great example. He’s a trans-attracted man. After his very first session, he created for himself exactly what I offer and guarantee everyone gets, trans or trans-attracted. Here’s what he texted me:

My newest client gets an extraordinary life experience after only one session.

Everyone gets similar results, although details look different. That’s only because all physical reality is 100 percent subjective. It’s unique to the perceiver. No one shares their experience with another. Which is why so much disagreement happens. Everyone thinks other people are having the same experience they are.

There’s no reason for a transgender person – man or woman – to go through life not getting what they want. Same for trans-attracted people. The only thing keeping such people from what they want is the person themselves.

The trans experience and the trans-attraction experience are human experiences. Both are wholesome and good. I show folks how to get to that wholesome goodness story-wise. Then, in time, their world must reflect that back to them. Including bringing them everything they want.

I don’t care when some transgender women hate on me after reading a Transamorous Network post. They literally don’t know what they’re talking about.

But trolls gonna hate

Sometimes a transgender woman will read me saying transgender women own the lives they create, then tell me I’m victim blaming. But they don’t understand what my clients do. There are no victims.

But if a person believes there are…they make themselves a victim as much as those they pity as victims.

I don’t care when some transgender women hate on me after reading a Transamorous Network post. They literally don’t know what they’re talking about.

But my clients do. That’s why they rave about results, while sticking around. They get a taste of their power. Then they want more.

I know what I offer helps transgender people and those who love them. I know because such people tell me so. That’s why I do what I do. I came here for this.

So when a client raves about results they produce, I focus on that. Those who get negatively triggered, who’ve never even tried to understand what I offer, let alone put it into practice, get the cold shoulder.

I tell them to take their triggered attitudes elsewhere. Find things to read they agree with. Leave me alone.

That way I have more time to serve those ready to live their lives as the creators they came to be.

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Transphobias: Better Left In The Great White North

Photo by Denis Linine on Unsplash

If you’re transgender or trans-attracted, it’s better to think about all the great things about being trans and the great things about being trans-attracted, than thinking about other people’s transphobic opinions about who or what you are. At The Transamorous Network we encourage becoming oblivious to why people say and do things.

Unless you can tell positive stories about them.

That’s why we ignore when a trans woman thinks she knows better about where we’re coming from than we do, and criticizes or demeans what we share. What others think is none of our business 🤣.

A recent client experience shows why doing what we do acts in your best interest.

Coming to grips with her likes

She visited a local drive up coffee kiosk for a java infusion. It’s something she loves doing. Icing on that coffee cake is the beefcake who works there. My client crushes on him every time she sees his hunkiness.

He’s not her only crush. She talks with several men at a time. Her fortune meeting men shows her she’s getting everything she wants. It’s a case in point for trans women: tell the right stories and everything you want – including men – appear.

I think she’s having a great time with all the guy she’s talking with. The most recent guy she spoke with, however, told her dating transgender women scares him. Hearing this, my client expressed feeling two ways about it.

In the first way, she wants to console the guy and his insecurity. But in the second way, she wants nothing to do with it.

Give the finger to other’s opinion. They don’t matter, so you shouldn’t mind.

“I don’t want to have to help a guy come to grips with what he likes,” she said.

Match what you want

That’s when I explained how what he said reflected back to her what she’s thinking about the same topic.

“Huh?” she asked.

“The reason you’re meeting guys who are afraid of dating you is because you still aren’t sure you’re datable,” I told her. “That’s what the Universe is showing you by matching you with this guy. Your dates always match your stories.”

My client has enough of The Transamorous Network’s approach under her belt to get the truth of those words. Every trans woman meets people who match what she’s putting out. If she doesn’t like who she’s meeting, complaining about who’s she’s meeting is the worst thing she can do.

Instead, we recommend becoming a match to the kinds of men you want to date. How? Tell stories about everything that match what you want. Everything. That includes those guys you meet you’d rather not meet.

Doing so requires serious, honest assessment of stories you tell. Especially stories about men…and stories about yourself. Some trans women think they’ve got their thoughts in the right place. Usually, that’s not the case. It’s easy thinking you’re clear, when, really, you’re not. Like this client explains:

A trans woman acknowledges something nearly all trans women (and everyone else) won’t: she really didn’t understand what was going on in her head, until she got a real good look.

Same goes for you trans-attracted men. Figure out your stories, change them and the trans girl you want is yours.

Let’s return to my client’s story.

Back to the coffee kiosk

The hunky dude walking up and down line of cars had what my client interpreted as a “transphobic reaction” to her. She said when he saw her, he looked at her “strange” and kept looking back at her while taking others’ orders.

We talked about this from the perspective of “other people’s opinions aren’t my business“, and why that is. Most people move through the world from places of insecurity, fear, pessimism and negativity. Why on earth would my client want a piece of that????

Instead I asked my client if she could think of alternative stories which would make the hunk’s reaction less personal, or even personally favorable.

It took her a while. But after a little cajoling, she came to some good ones:

  • His behavior has nothing to do with me
  • He’s never seen a trans woman before and is curious, not negative
  • Maybe he’s trans-attracted and didn’t know it until now!
  • Maybe he finds me attractive!

It doesn’t matter whether these stories are true or not. How they made my client feel meant everything.

Why?

Because how she feels tells her something important. So these stories were very good for her. I knew this because her countenance totally changed after telling them. That meant she was headed in a totally different direction than before.

Stories create the world. And everyone’s telling stories all the time, including you. So why not create the best worlds? How? Tell the best feeling stories.

Leave them in the cold

How this guy reacted to seeing my client had nothing to do with her and everything to do about him. But in that moment, my client observed that reaction on purpose. Even though she didn’t realize it at the time, her current beliefs showed themselves in this guy’s behavior. That was a good thing, even if she didn’t believe it at the time.

Seeing what she saw was great evidence of The Transamorous Network’s approach working. Now she knows what her stories contain. That allowed her to do something about them: create better-feeling stories.

So what started as a negative situation turned out to be a really positive one. This is why nothing ever goes wrong in the world. Everything always goes right.

Leave other people’s opinion’s alone. Especially ones inconsistent with yours. They don’t matter. The only place they belong is where they belong…in the Great White North. In other words, out in the cold. Not in your awareness.

Keep them out there and watch how much your love life improves.

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Finding Love Results From Seeing The Proof

Photo by Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash

This morning during a client session, the client shared a perfect example of how easily The Transamorous Network’s process works for getting the relationship one wants.

The process IS easy. But like my client, many trans women, and trans-attracted men, make it harder than it needs to be. They make it less fun too.

All one need do to get anything they want is tell stories about their desire and feel good about having it. Even if they don’t tell positive stories, evidence still surrounds them, telling them they’re getting what they want.

But because the person won’t acknowledge the evidence, getting what they want takes a VERY long time…or it doesn’t happen at all.

I should correct that. Every desire fulfills itself. But many people, especially trans women, compromise on what they want. They’re too impatient, tell too many contrary stories and focus on the wrong evidence. But even those girls get what they want…as everyone does…after death. For when a person dies, they return to nonphysical where everything happens in an instant.

No one need wait until death though to get what they want. I know this based on my own experience. That’s why I’m committed to serve members of the trans community ready to hear what I share. Those women (and men) are emmissaries of what’s possible.

This trans woman is an example:

But I digress…

It’s basic math

My client, let’s call her Josie, lamented during one session two weeks ago. She complained about men she was meeting and how those men expressed beliefs contrary to what she wanted. We talked a bit more before I turned the subject to something she enjoyed talking about.

After a little time there, Josie admitted feeling better. Then she doubled down on her previous feeling.

“I feel that I take two steps forward,” she said. “Then take one step back.”

What she was saying is she feels pessimistic because she sees herself going backwards. But if you look at what she actually said here, she was sharing evidence of progress. Not going backwards.

Think about it. It’s basic math.

Let’s say a person is walking forward from point A, and they take two steps forward. How far away are they from point A? Right, two steps.

Now let’s say they take one step back. How far are they away from point A? One step. That’s progress!

This is a common perception problem many humans (not just trans ones) suffer from. Josie acknowledged it in our session today.

“I have ingrained ways of looking at things that have me see negatively,” she said.

“I agree,” I said. “Meanwhile evidence surrounds you that you’re progressing.”

He’s looking for you. Are you seeing evidence that you two are getting closer to meeting? (Photo by Tamarcus Brown on Unsplash)

The evidence…

Then I reminded her about our session last week. Back then, after bemoaning progress that looks like two steps forward and one back, she happily described an encounter she had with a guy.

As she describes herself, she regularly smiles at women she doesn’t know, but never smiles or even makes eye contact with men. But last week she caught herself smiling at a guy.

That shocked and surprised her, but she also saw it (in the moment) as evidence of her progress. It so happened that in this same conversation she also talked about the “several men” she was talking to on dating sites.

So here she is producing all this evidence of guys showing her interest. And yet, she’s complaining about her lack of progress!

Then, this week, she shares even more evidence. Turns out that while walking her dog at the local dog park, she not only smiled at a guy, she struck up a whole conversation with him! As she did so, she was so clear what she was doing, she said she wanted to text me about her “progress” as she called it.

It’s easy, if you let it be

I told Josie then that she has the option at any time to turn her attention to evidence indicating progress towards what she wants. Instead, what she’s doing is indeliberately focusing on “lack of evidence”. That makes her feel shitty. Feeling shitty, Josie can’t see her progress. But the progress is there.

Focus on that progress and telling positive stories becomes easy. Then life gets easy. Then everything one wants comes easily. Including that love life where the perfect partner shows up.

But you must let it become easy. Most people fight against “easy” by being indeliberate about stories they tell. They focus on their pessimism, even when life is showing them all the evidence telling them they are getting what they want.

At The Transamorous Network I help trans women and trans-attracted men all day long learn how to turn their lives into lives where everything they want happens. It’s easy once you get the hang of it. And it’s fun.

Josie is beginning to get this. When are you going to?

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How Life Can Be Great For Trans or Trans-attracted People

Photo by Brooke Lark on Unsplash

Life is great. Especially for trans or trans-attracted people. That’s because trans and trans-attracted people come into the world with powerful purpose: to create a new reality for humankind and expand All That Is.

I’m here to encourage those trans and trans-attracted people how special they are. My purpose also includes reminding them how powerful they are, how fun life is supposed to be — can be — and how easy it is to get all they want.

After all, we all came here knowing the experience would feel like a glorious adventure.

But, the brilliant “reality”…the real-ness of life experience…stuns nearly all of us out of our knowing. So, most people just try getting by. They compromise on their dreams. Then end up leading mediocre lives.

Mediocre is ok; but that’s all

A mediocre life is fine. Actually, mediocre lives represent “normal” living. So someone living a mediocre life means that person chose what everyone else chooses.

But how many people do you know had the following dream in childhood?

I’ll tell you how many. Zero.

That kind of life can feel ok. Seeing others living that way, most think it’s preferable. But a better life exists. Especially for trans and trans-attracted people. Even if you’re in a mediocre life (or worse) now, you can change it. We talk about that all day every day in this blog. The how is easy. But you must choose it.

A simple process like this gets it going. But understanding WHY it works is as important as doing it. Otherwise, you won’t believe it works. And that story stops the process in its tracks.

It’s easy; life is too

In a short time, anyone can prove to themselves the following:

  • That they are an eternal being
  • Life gives them everything they want, easy
  • Each person lives at the center of the universe
  • Nothing can harm anyone
  • Everyone is invincible
  • Each person creates their experience

With only a little practical application, anyone will see evidence of all this. And, when that happens, a person wants more evidence. The more evidence they see, the more gets created because the Universe wants each person knowing these things.

Trans and trans-attracted people must know these things even more. Why? Because when they don’t, they get lives so many trans and trans-attracted people live.

Don’t be like everyone else. Live extraordinarily. Life gets easy when you do.

Don’t know how? We help people every week learning just that.