Category: Transgender

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The One Thing That Will Destroy Getting What You Want

Photo by Žygimantas Dukauskas on Unsplash

The best way to a life where everything someone wants happens easily – including lasting love – involves that person realizing they are eternal. Transgender and trans-attracted people especially benefit from this realization. That’s because those two groups come into the world expressing extra-special connections to their eternal natures.

So when I received a question from The Transamorous Network’s sister website, I thought I’d share my response here too.

Everyone’s eternal

The question actually came in three parts:

How do you know a person never dies? Is the soul really eternal? How can you prove this?

It’s so funny so few take the question seriously, including transgender and trans-attracted people. Most think fulfilling their desires, dreams, wishes, involves working hard, struggling and sacrifice. But if one seriously dives into these questions, getting what one wants can happen so easily and so quickly, life becomes the joyful experience it’s meant to be.

That’s because if a person fears death, or what happens after death, life gets colored by that fear. That fear generates much anxiety. And anxiety prevents a life where everything comes easily. Pretty everyone fears death. So much so investigating such questions never arise. Or, if they do, it happens at the very end of life.

Often, that’s too late to do any good.

But answering these questions goes a long way towards seeing life as it is instead of through distortions and fears born of bogus stories. While seeking answers will reveal answers, such answers doesn’t exist in “objective” form. That’s because life (even “after-life”) is 100 percent subjective. So proof reveals itself only in life’s subjectivity.

Which is why at The Transamorous Network, we advise clients cultivate consistent positive stories about life, about themselves and about what they want. That way, their subjective life experience reflects those positive stories.

So realizing you’re eternal involves self-exploration. And when you take that adventure, evidence you find will come through intimate, personal experience. Being subjective, such evidence won’t convince others. Therefore, having someone show you evidence won’t work. You must show it to yourself.

First, some important context

The evidence will literally set you free. I’ll describe how to get the evidence. But you must take the adventure and create the proof you want to see. Do this and you’ll find yourself convinced. It takes patience and practice, but the process works 100 percent of the time.

Before I share the process, let’s look as some context.

Physical life experience – particularly the external-seeming, objective aspects – are projections of the soul’s inner experience onto itself. So the person experiencing physical life experiences an experience of self projected into the awareness of itself. That projection looks and feels as an apparent separate, “objective” reality.

Why does it appear that way?

So the experiencer can experience “more” of itself. It also fulfills “intentions” central to who and what “self” wants to become. Seeing proof of an eternal soul therefore first requires knowing what you just read. That information gives context to proof you’ll find. The proof, in other words, will look like life experiences. Those experiences will accumulate thus “proving” convincing.

You also need lots of patience. Proof rarely comes in a flash. And when it does, it is often missed or it’s bewildering or incomprehensible. Like a barely remembered dream in the morning, if you don’t know how to recall it, or replicate it, you can’t hold onto it.

But with patience, the gradual, unhurried nature of All That Is will reveal everything you’re wanting to know.

Making proof visible instead of invisible

Next tip: you’re surrounded by evidence that you’re eternal. You just can’t see it. Seeing proof requires orienting perception so you can perceive it. The absence of evidence is what you see when you think you’re mortal. Which is why people think death is real.

“Orienting” your perception doesn’t mean “doing something” in physical reality. Instead, it means “allowing yourself to realize” what you want to know. “Doing something” and “allowing yourself to realize” represent two distinct things.

One way “seekers” complicate matters happens when they think or believe in ways making seeing proof difficult if not impossible. The word “soul” for example, generates belief constellations that work against “allowing yourself to realize”. I wrote about this before, here.

Beliefs are communicable too, just like some diseases. They get passed on through language primarily. You’ll notice you talk to yourself almost constantly. Much of that internal dialogue confirms and reconfirms beliefs, many of which work against seeing answers sought. So the next step involves realizing how language and beliefs muddle perception, then cleaning up language and belief.

Practical example time 😊

For example, look at the following two statements:

  1. I want to see evidence that the soul never dies
  2. I want to be the realizer of my eternal nature

Notice the action-oriented nature inherent in statement one. It also presumes no visible evidence. The speaker wants to see what they don’t see.

This statement affirms evidence’s absence instead of affirming evidence’s abundance. The perceiver wants to see something she currently does not, the “does not” component gets emphasized above all else. It creates “disbelief”.

Notice statement two is passive. The speaker speaks to evidence showing itself to her. Further, her statement expresses desire to become something, not see something. It also assumes the existence of what she wants to realize. She understands her eternal nature is a thing and she expresses her desires around experiencing that.

These subtle distinctions make all the difference.

The word “proof” is problematic as well. “Proof” is adversarial. It says “show me because I don’t believe it.” Wanting proof affirms your doubt. It also offers confrontation. “PROVE IT” is the energy of the word “proof”.

See the subtlety?

Let’s put this all together

Ok, so now you have a sense of four important premises:

  1. Evidence you want will occur as 100 percent subjective. It will only convince you. No one else.
  2. Desired evidence surrounds you. Wanting to create or discover evidence distracts you from experiencing it. You’re wanting to realize the already-existing evidence. Or better said: you’re wanting to realize your eternal nature, which already exists.
  3. How you frame your request will either support your intent or defeat it.
  4. Your beliefs will hinder or help you become the realizer of the answer to your question.

So now, the process is simple: you simply ask for the answer in a way that supports getting the answer…then hold to knowing the answer shows itself.

What happens next: you’ll experience events confirming your intent. Things start happening showing that you’re eternal. But you must keep the four points in mind. Also, you must constantly question thoughts and reactions which will stop the evidence dead in its tracks. Or they’ll cause you to miss the evidence.

The evidence becomes evident

For example, one day at a bus stop or someplace familiar, someone you know may join you. You’ll strike up a conversation and this person may say something – mention a newspaper or magazine article, a website, a book, or TV show – that will cause within you an “a-ha!” moment. What they say will sound perfectly timed and related to your intent. Perhaps they will mention the show God Friended Me, for example, or the Netflix show, The Good Place, both having themes in eternal life. And then one of many different things might happen:

  1. You will totally miss the relevance between the shows (and their premises) and your request. Here Universe and All That Is gave you a clue. But your beliefs will block the connection. So you’ll say something like “huh, interesting” and let the moment pass.
  2. Or, maybe you’ll think “hmm, I just read a blog about seeing my eternal nature and here is someone telling me about a TV show about god and the afterlife.” And your mind then might go: “this is a coincidence” and you’ll miss the relevance.
  3. OR….You may feel goose pimples or a shiver down your spine and think “This is no coincidence. This is evidence showing itself….” Then you’ll get excited….You might go home later and watch either show, enjoy the premise offered and then, be inspired to casually research online the word “serendipity”….

Do something like number three and you’re on your way.

Seeing overwhelming evidence

The seeming chance bus stop encounter began the realization. But if you aren’t alert, you’ll miss it. That’s how subtle Universe works. Your job remains maintaining alertness and expectation.

Keep this up and you’ll experience all kinds of evidence. They literally surround you:

  • Someone may start talking about eternity or life extension at a function you attend
  • A dream might happen where you experience events implying an eternal being
  • More events will happen confirming real what science calls “pseudoscience”
  • You may be invited to an Ayahuasca event or a meditation session.

And then, at some point, you’ll notice old beliefs gradually shifting. You’ll move through life differently. Your changed beliefs and lifestyle reveal more serendipitous opportunities making disbelief harder:

  • Dreams will become more and more lucid and engaging
  • You’ll start to want to know what your dreams are about
  • You’ll start playing with this whole idea that “you create your reality” and you’ll start getting evidence of that showing up all over your life
  • Then, really amazing things will start happening. Things that, in the past, you would have said “that’s coincidence” or “that’s impossible” or “random” or “confirmation bias” or some other nonsense. Only now you won’t say those things because they happen so often there’s too much of them proving they’re real.

By then you’re on your way.

The rest of the path is up to your realization. Keep it up and you will eventually realize what every sincere person realizes: life and everything in it, including you, is eternal and death is not the end. It’s only the beginning of more life.

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[VIDEO] Why Doing Nothing Gives The Best Dating Results

The best way to create a better dating life starts with learning how to do nothing. When people discover the power of doing nothing, life really starts taking off. And dates people have get better and better.

This is especially true for those looking for that perfect mate. Transgender and trans-attracted people struggle finding love because they’re caught up in the “doing disease”. It literally feels like that. Dis-ease.

We think all we need “to do” is do more of what others are doing and we’ll find our mate. So that’s what we do. We go to bars. Maybe we ask friends to hook us up. But the one thing so many do while infected with “doing disease” is pursuing a partner via online dating.

I know that path personally. Over the early part of my life I probably spent something like seven thousand dollars subscribed to various online dating sites. That includes transgender-specific ones. I spent another five thousand or so on other match-making alternatives. That was before I discovered a far more powerful way to fall in love: telling powerful stories.

Doing is drudgery

Before that discovery, I was caught up in doing too. And doing had me doing what everyone else did. It worked. Sometimes. Looking back, though, the success rate of all that doing wasn’t very high. It wasn’t any fun either in retrospect.

No one really likes getting on dating sites in order to find love. It’s a lot of work and money. But it’s crazy how many people go there. So few actually find what they want that way, yet, so many go that way and struggle through sucky experiences.

I’ve asked my clients which they’d prefer: meeting their match in their daily life, on the way to the grocery or while in a park for example, or meeting them on line. Every one agrees they’d prefer meeting them in real life.

Why do so many go through that drudgery then? Maybe it’s because they’re trapped in the doing the disease like I was. I’m glad I found the way out. The way out being doing nothing. It seems crazy, but it’s true. Here’s why.

So many people tire themselves out by trying to get what they want through action. But doing nothing begins a path where things happen far more easily. No struggle required. (Photo by Adrian Swancar)

You match what you’re getting

First, the reason why so many seek their partner through doing, yet fail to find them, is because they’re trying to get something they don’t believe they can have. I talk about this with every client. A person can’t find something they think they can’t find. That’s the case for keys, lost gloves and partners one think doesn’t exist.

How can someone find a partner if they think that partner doesn’t exist? That’s the belief in which many transgender and trans-attracted people stand. So many transgender people think they can’t find a guy who will love them for what they are. So many trans-attracted guys think transgender women of the kind they want, don’t exist. And yet, both parties do, do, do, while not knowing their doing doubles down on their negative thoughts about what they want.

Worse still, how can a person find someone to love if they believe they themselves aren’t lovable? Many transgender women struggle with believing they are worthy of what they want. A lot think they love themselves. But track what comes out of their mouths and in short order overwhelming evidence piles up. That evidence shows what that trans woman really feels about herself.

Same goes with trans-attracted men. Although it’s much easier seeing the evidence. We trans-attracted men struggle with shame and embarrassment about our attraction, but also about our desires. We’re insecure about what our desires tell us about ourselves. And so we struggle too.

Insecurities proceed us all

The fact is, if a person doesn’t think their partner exists, or they don’t think they deserve finding them, they’re not going to.

So when such a person goes online to find their partner, armed with such beliefs and insecurities, they draw to them experiences confirming their beliefs and insecurities. They meet skeezer trans women, cavort with call girls and escorts and get had by gold diggers. Or they meet men who only want to sext, see dick picks or ghost the minute online conversations turn to meeting in person.

When people get these responses, they ignore what these experiences tell them. Instead, they try harder, do more, push, struggle more. They think if they do all that, they’ll finally get what they want.

It doesn’t work that way. Especially in love.

Finding love is easy when you give up the struggle. Even if you’re trans or trans-attracted. (Photo by Juliette F on Unsplash)

Doing it different?

Doing nothing begins an important process. That process reverses inertia created when a person keeps doing the same thing over and over, while expecting different results. When someone calms themselves, relaxes and focuses inward, powerful processes get underway even though it seems like nothing happens.

And the more that person relaxes into doing nothing, the more effective they get. That’s because every person, trans or trans-attracted, receives guidance through their intuition. Doing nothing tunes one into their intuition.

What really happens is, by doing nothing, the person calms down noise in their head. That way they start hearing clear signals their intuition sends all day, every day.

In time, the person realizes some profound insights. Like this client:

Uncovering such insights takes a while. And this is the challenge. So many people in our lives tell us doing nothing is lazy and time wasting. But it’s not that. It’s a profound state of being which tunes one back into their deeper knowing.

But if you listen to society, parents, educators and all those loud mouths in the peanut gallery, you’ll hear “stop being lazy”, “work harder”, “success is in the struggle”.

It works but it’s tough

Such approaches work. But do you really want to struggle through life? I don’t. I’d rather enjoy life while seeing my life bringing me everything I want with little effort.

People who struggle claim it’s worth the struggle. They look at and display scars they “earned” on the way to their success. I say give that approach up, especially when it comes to finding love.

Instead, figure out how to become a match to the relationship, that lasting, loving, true love you want. It’s far more fun, easier, and when it shows up, will be a better match. That’s because on the way to receiving it, you’re becoming a match to it. You’re becoming happy. You’re letting go of your pessimism and joylessness. You let go of blame and judgement.

And when all that happens, you can’t help but meet someone who is just like you. After all, in all that doing to find a partner, the judgement, pessimism, and joylessness you experience is what you get in return in the form of partners matching all of that.

A better way exists. It starts with doing nothing, which really is doing a lot. Learning to do nothing transforms lives. My clients know this. It’s time for you to know it too.

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A Powerful Transgender Woman Creates Her Best Man Yet

(Photo by Jeremy Bishop)

It’s so fun watching transgender women and trans-attracted people using stories to create their love lives. I love participating in that unfolding. When such people find their power, they realize they can create what they thought was impossible. Then their lives get really fun.

Of course, everything is possible. The only things keeping some things impossible are stories people tell. “That’s impossible” is a self-fulfilling prophesy.

Things change though when someone discovers they stand at the center of the Universe. There they realize they create everything around them. Including all the lovers they want…or the lack thereof.

Stories are powerful

A transgender client’s personal experience showed how powerful, or disempowering, stories can be. She started practicing with me 36 sessions ago. Last week, something happened that amazed her.

During those 36 weeks, Jennifer (not her real name) uncovered many disempowering stories. They included stories about dating, about men, about men’s intentions. But they also included stories about Jennifer herself. These included stories like the following:

  • I’m not good enough to get what I want
  • I’m too fat to get the guy I want
  • Men only want me for sex
  • I’m too old
  • Time’s running out for me to find a guy
  • I never can find the right guy I want

These stories together created Jennifer’s reality. What did that reality look like? One where men she met wanted her for sex, or for photos of her genitals. Several often called her, but only when drunk. They demanded sexually explicit texts, wouldn’t talk on the phone and when Jennifer pushed the issue, they would ghost her. Others made promises to meet in person, only to disappear later.

No wonder Jennifer created negative stories about dating, about men and about men’s intentions.

It’s not that her stories weren’t true. After all, she formed many of them from past experience. But if Jennifer wants what she wants, she can’t expect to get it while telling stories about what she doesn’t want, no matter how true they are.

Stories are powerful. They can create more of the same. Or they can create what you want.

Choose: get what you want or be right

Jennifer had a choice. She could tell true stories and be right. Or she could tell stories about what she wants and get that.

For example, one story she had about men was “I’ll never meet a nice guy locally”. Every guy she had met, she met through OKCupid. Desperation had her using online dating. No matter how many times I told her online dating works terribly, she kept using it.

That’s because she also believed it was the only way she met men. See how stories create reality? Her stories about not meeting local guys had her believing she could only meet men online. So that’s how she met them. And, the men she met there showed up consistent with her other stories. Especially stories about herself.

The online experience only amplified her frustration, which in turn reinforced her stories about men, her datability and her belief that she’d never meet the guy she wanted.

Again, Jennifer can’t tell stories about her past and get what she wants. Instead, she must tell stories about what she wants. That’s what we focused on in the ensuing 36 sessions.

A lot of transgender women would rather be right than get what they want, which is why they end up sad, bitter and alone. (Photo by Caleb Ekeroth)

Evidence starts proving it works

Over time, Jennifer’s new, empowering stories started creating realities consistent with themselves. It was rough going at first. Often Jennifer reinforced her old stories more than energizing new, more empowering ones.

However, there’s something cool about telling positive stories. Such stories enjoy enormous creative potential. You see, the Universe wants everyone to enjoy what they want, no exceptions. So when someone lines up with what they want by telling positive stories about it, they become a match to that. Then, that person gradually starts seeing evidence of what they want showing up everywhere.

That’s what happened with Jennifer. For example, men started waving at her as she walked down the street. Every time it happened, she said, she looked behind her to see if the guys were waving at someone else. Nope, they waved at her.

Or the male barista at the drive up kiosk would chat Jennifer up, where before he would ignore her. Another time a gas station attendant complimented her nails. And another time, a male restaurant sever paid particular attention to her as he attended the table she sat at with friends.

Ordinary people chalk these examples up to “coincidence” or some other logical explanation. But there’s no such thing as coincidence and logic has nothing to do with it! Everything happens on purpose. The purpose is reflecting back stories one tells about what’s happening.

The more Jennifer got this, the more such instances happened.

Evidence grows more insistent

Until one day while walking her dog at the local dog park, a man who also had his dog approached her. He said hi and Jennifer returned the greeting. They enjoyed a nice conversation while their dogs played. Afterward, the guy said “Oh, dude, I gotta go. I’m late.”

Now Jennifer interpreted that as the guy misgendering her. We don’t know what his intentions really were, but I told her telling such a story was not in her best interest.

“It’s better to make up a story that you feel better about,” I said.

“Like what?” She asked.

“Like ‘the guy was using “dude” like some people do. It’s just a figure of speech, like an exclamation”,” I replied.

At first, Jennifer didn’t like that new story. But after some cajoling she admitted it felt better than the knee-jerk story she wanted to tell.

I told her telling such stories would create the next evidence that would knock Jennifer’s socks off.

And that’s exactly what happened next.

Every transgender or trans-attracted person can enjoy a relationship that knocks their socks off. Unless their stories run contrary to having that enjoyment. (Photo by Jeremy Bishop)

It bowls you over

Jennifer had other stories not related to men and dating. These needed attention too. The combination of stories, what I call a Belief Constellation, creates everyone’s reality. Jennifer’s constellation included many negative stories about her work and her manager. Those stories kept Jennifer on edge, defensive and feeling like a victim.

Feeling on edge, defensive and victimhood makes one a match to situations that exacerbate feeling those ways. And not just work situations, dating situations too. That’s why we needed to soothe Jennifer’s work stories too.

That took a while, but the better Jennifer felt, the more she wanted to do the practice. In time, evidence at work convinced her more and more her new stories were working.

Her boss complimented her more and more. She gave Jennifer more responsibilities. When Jennifer announced she was looking for openings in other departments, her manager offered to reclassify her job so she could get more pay. Finally, her manager came out and told Jennifer how much she valued her and how much she wanted Jennifer to stay.

Evidence at work was bowling Jennifer over. It amazed her that simply telling positive stories could literally change her relationship with her boss!

Then one day Jennifer texted me from work telling me how a process I taught her – called PRE-PAVING – helped change her work experience. In the text, she misspells it as “preparing”:

Then it happened

Riding on that positive momentum created what happened next. Jennifer felt good about changes happening at work. So much so, she softened on the idea that she couldn’t meet men in person. She started acknowledging evidence showing she was meeting men. It’s just that she hadn’t soothed negative stories enough to have such men approach her in person.

That all changed rather suddenly.

A few days after a remarkably powerful session, Jennifer sent me a text. It was awesome:

Many layers prove how powerful this experience was for Jennifer. For one, she didn’t have to do ANYTHING to meet this LOCAL, GORGEOUS guy other than follow her intuition to take Rocco out for walk. Second, there’s NO WAY ON EARTH she could have deliberately sought out this guy. It could only happen this way, a perfect orchestration of her unfolding reality.

Third, the guy did all the work. He approached her and initiated a conversation. But most of all, what’s super awesome about this rendezvous, is through it, Jennifer realized yet another story she needs to clean up.

“He’s out of my league.”

However, even though that happened, she still had an experience totally contrary to EVERY experience she had in the past.

Every encounter a stepping stone

It’s really important at the point of receiving this experience that Jennifer enjoy the experience. Negatively judging herself does no good. Neither does harsh self-criticism about not doing something she thought she should have done. Everything worked perfectly here because this rendezvous wasn’t meant to be the perfect match or the perfect lover.

What it was, was an experience clarifying for Jennifer where she is on the path to becoming the perfect match to her perfect lover. How else will she know what disempowering stories remain in her constellation, if she doesn’t get to see her constellation in action? This experience worked perfectly.

It encouraged her. It created more desire in her. The fact that it happened gladdened her, inspiring her to the possibility that more such experiences can happen. It was a local connection! Something she thought impossible. And it showed that gorgeous men show interest in her.

So many disempowering stories got a dose of positivity just through this one experience. And so long as she remains in all these powerfully positive interpretations, Jennifer makes herself a match to more such experiences in the future.

Every client gets it

I love it when these kinds of things happen for my clients. Every client enjoys this kind of progression on their way to the love, the life, their greatest desires.

Everything is possible. Including having a relationship matching one’s wildest dreams. Nothing stands in the way of whatever anyone wants other than stories a person tells that are contrary to what’s wanted.

Clean those stories up though and watch how remarkable life gets.

Life is a wish-granting jewel. No matter what one wishes for, one can have it. One only need become a match to it, then draw that which is wished for to them as they hold themselves as a match to it.

I show clients how to do that. It’s easy, it’s fun and it works. Every time. You ready for your true love, your version of the wonderful life Jennifer’s creating? I can help.

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How To Easily Create Your Lover

Photo by Hans Vivek on Unsplash

There’s great power in managing vibration so that one stands in a high flying state. Doing so through positive storytelling one can literally shape others’ experiences. One can also shape other people. A powerful example of that happened this week with a Transamorous Network trans-attracted client.

This client finds himself profoundly affected by what he’s learned. He started four months ago. So he enjoys some proficiency with positive storytelling. But this week, like many clients, he came having had a rough few days. So when he showed up to the session, he wasn’t ready for what happened.

When I help clients attain a high proficiency with telling stories, I create a vibrational bubble in which I hold the session. Every session feels the same because of this. The high vibrational state I create then hold during the session “pulls” clients from wherever they are, to where I am. That’s why, unlike traditional therapy or counseling, every client enjoys extremely satisfying sessions containing powerful insights and breakthroughs.

A compelling offer

This time, however, I brought a lot more vibrational mastery to the table than usual. That’s because I meditated prior to the session, using a process which increases one’s vibrational focus. I also used another process because I wanted to amplify the great feeling I felt after meditation.

By the time I came to the session, I was bouncing off the walls with intense, positivity, appreciation and joy. So much so, the client’s socks got blown off.

The disparity between where he was and where I was was so great, he had to join me. He literally had no choice because my mastery was so strong. So when the client came into my bubble, his negative vibration had no place to go but outta here! 😂.

Which is why, after the session, he sent this:

Creating people on demand

When it comes to relationships, especially romantic ones, most people try to manipulate, convince, “love” (it’s not really that), bribe, blackmail or blame their partners into being someone they can be happy with. That hardly ever works.

Indeed, the whole idea of “love languages” is part of the problem with relationships. Expecting someone to be a certain way so you feel better is a recipe for disaster. It’s also not loving.

Loving is unconditional. That means, no matter how a person might be, you still love them. That’s hard when vibrational mastery eludes you.

But with vibrational mastery, not only can you love a person no matter how they are, when you do, THEY CHANGE.

The best way to change someone is to tell better stories about them. When you do, you “vibe” with the version of the person you want to experience. Then the person you’re with changes into that person. Better stories about that person make that possible. In the process you also feel fucking great!

Trying to change people through action or words hardly ever works. When it does work, it rarely lasts. It often also creates resentment. But using stories, you can make any change you want permanent. And people love you for it.

It’s just like what my client experienced. And I wasn’t even trying!

Want a powerful relationship with those you love, those you work with and those you care about? Stop trying to change them. Tell better stories about them, become a match to their best self. Then, watch how much power you have to create people on demand.

Want to know how? I can help!

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A Happy Transgender Woman Gets Her Dream Career

Photo by Clem Onojeghuo on Unsplash

A transgender client recently came to her session feeling ecstatic. I immediately became so too. That’s because I knew, even before she described what happened, what happened. She scored her dream career.

How? Solely by telling positive stories.

I know many will say this was a series of massive coincidences. But me and this client know what happened directly resulted from her learning to tell positive stories. As a result, she easily came into her dream job with absolutely no effort on her part. Instead she had fun, fun, fun.

“I told my mom,” she said. “Getting work this way is 1,000 times more satisfying than going through the grind everyone else is doing.”

Indeed. All during this time, her mom forwarded my client job openings from Indeed.com, hoping her daughter would apply. But my client wanted to prove to herself positive stories work better. I’m glad she wanted to test it, because the results were stunning. As they always are.

Here’s what happened.

Becoming a match to what’s wanted

Clare (not her real name) is on her 123rd session. It took her a while to start believing, but evidence she produced along the way roused dramatic behavioral changes. For one, she gave up online dating. She finally agreed it created more negative experiences than positive ones and those negative experiences too easily translated into negative stories about men. Those stories exacerbated her negative online experiences. That got her realizing trying to find a partner through online dating wasn’t worth it.

Then she gave up trying to “find” a guy altogether. Instead, she decided to focus on herself. She decided rather than meeting men who matched who she’s being now, she would become the “best version of herself” and, doing that, meet men who are a match to that.

It’s a standard result of the approach advocated here at The Transamorous Network. Every experience comes as a manifestation of what the experiencer emanates. That emanation happens through stories people tell about experiences had in the past, or experiences they want to have. The best way to meet the perfect partner involves first becoming a match to that. One does that by telling positive stories about a host of subjects. Those stories gradually change emanations one’s putting out about those subjects.

In time, one becomes a match to what they want, rather than being a match to what they don’t want. This process happens effortlessly. With enough practice, the process then happens automatically. Delight, surprise, life enjoyment and an ever-increasing desire for more of that mark “success” with the process. Oh, one also gets everything they want too!

How reality really works.

The sucky job hunt

As Clare focused on herself, a lot of resistance she held for many subjects started giving way. In the wake of all that, she discovered more peace and satisfaction with the way her life currently was. For many years, Clare harbored impatience, frustration and annoyance about living with her parents on a farm in rural America.

But through the practice, she learned how to appreciate this situation. Indeed, living with her parents offered exactly what she wanted. The biggest thing was time. Her parents love her, provide for her. Even though they want her to get on with living – get a job, find a place to live on her own and make a life for herself – they also weren’t pressuring her to do those things.

I encouraged Clare see value in all that support. But Clare focused too much on what she thought her parents thought about her living there. As a result, Clare felt pressure, anxiety and impatience. Those emotions motivated her to look for a job.

But looking for a job sucks! It’s tedious, there’s a lot of rejection, and, depending on one’s self-image, it can be demoralizing. Especially when one sees how many jobs one doesn’t qualify for. In many ways, job hunting closely resembles online dating!

Clare wavered between frustration and annoyance, then disappointment and anger as she sent out resume after resume to crickets and rejection.

All the while I encouraged her to give up job hunting and learn to create the job she wants. How? By telling positive stories about what she wants, instead of trying to find a “job”.

Would you jump off a cliff?

I know everyone, or at least most people, look for jobs exactly the way Clare was. And, many of those people find work that way. But it sucks doing it that way! Yes, people find satisfaction working for good companies and for good people. The opposite also holds up. In other words, just because everyone does something a certain way, doesn’t make it the way.

Besides, spiritual beings don’t come into a body to copy experiences everyone else experiences. Especially transgender and trans-attracted people. Just by virtue of being trans and trans-attracted, such people came for a different way. They came to live their special, unique paradigm-busting life experience. One that would transform the world while offering immense personal satisfaction.

I explained all this to Clare, many, many times before she actually believed it enough to apply this approach to getting work. By this time Starbucks hired her as a barista, which was great because their insurance plan paid for surgeries she wanted. She liked the job, at first. She enjoyed who she worked with and customers she served. Beyond that, insurance and a paycheck though, it offered little satisfaction.

It took about six months before Clare was over Starbucks. She wanted work in her field. Something creative. Something more consistent with her aspirations.

Week after week, dissatisfaction increased. Finally, she decided to try telling better stories.

Getting stories straight

It took her a while to find pleasing stories. Subjects she told stories about that impacted “getting a job” were many and varied. They included stories about work, obviously, but also about many other things.

About work, Clare needed to sooth old stories about her not being good enough to have her dream job. She believed such jobs were scarce. You need to know someone in order to get such a job, she thought. She also thought a person needed to live in an urban center, where creatives lived. None of these stories are true. They aren’t false either. But such stories create a reality that excludes getting the job Clare wanted.

Other stories she needed to address were about living at home, about her parents and what they thought, about why she wanted work, about the timeframe in which she “should” start working and more. As I said above, stories about lots of subjects affect success in any outcome. Stories about what’s wanted, for example, contribute only partially to what one gets or doesn’t get. Often, stories hindering one’s ability to get what they want have more to do with stories the person has about themselves. Those stories hinder the vast majority of people.

So Clare had her work set out for her. The main thing I encouraged Clare do was enjoy her now. Have fun, I told her. Find things she liked doing and forget about finding a job. Enjoy the fact that her parents lovingly support her. Enjoy the fact that she doesn’t really need a job.

That’s what Clare started doing.

Getting stories straight means adjusting what I say about life so that my life reflects my adjusted stories back to me. The Universe works no other way. Harness this and the world becomes yours.

Getting bored doing nothing

In essence, I told Clare “stop doing and be more”. That’s a problem for many, many people because most of us think and believe things happen as a result of “doing”.

That’s never the case though, but it looks that way. But the way things look is an illusion. Things happen as a result of what a person thinks and believes and expects. Action is what happens at the last moment. Action or doing puts a person at coordinates in space and time where the desired manifestation happens.

But again, this is really, really difficult for people to get. Especially parents. They think doing nothing is doing nothing. It’s lazy, mooching, being irresponsible.

None of that is true. Doing nothing is doing something. When a person does nothing, they’re soothing negative story momentum. Stories that keep them in “doing mode”, the doing of which keeps them thinking their doing creates results.

Clare had a really hard time with this at first. She quickly got bored. Video games no longer held her interest. Movies got old. She got impatient, frustrated. We talked about these feelings and stories they sprang from and, in time, created new stories for Clare about those things. Those stories allowed Clare greater ease and satisfaction with things she once liked doing.

It took awhile, but Clare found more satisfaction and pleasure in pastimes once she let go of judgement about those things, judgement, representing stories she inherited from her parents and society in general. Especially conservative society which harshly condemns idle hands.

Then things get interesting

One day after weeks enjoying her life, Clare came to her session feeling inspired. She had cruised Instagram this week, something she really enjoys, and her feed served up an invitation to a panel presentation on something like “How to manage production sets in a time of COVID”.

Now’s a good time to include that Clare’s field of choice, where her creative passions point her, involves working on creative production sets. Photo shoots and movie sets are where Clare feels most inspired and engaged. So when this invitation showed up, she knew it was the result of the practice.

“I knew this wasn’t coincidence,” She told me in session. “So I wanted to share it with you. I’m really excited this happened.”

I was too. It was exactly the manifestation Clare wanted. Furthermore, I knew, I just knew, this was the beginning of a series of manifestations leading to Clare getting everything she wants.

We talked about the best way to attend the event. I encouraged her, if she was so inspired, to write down every panel participant’s name and what they say. Then later, followup with each of them with an inspiring message over Instagram. I suggested she highlight something each person said that resonated with her. That resonance, I told her, offered a clue that would unfold in a delightful way.

So notice this: Clare relaxed into her life. She learned to enjoy more and more her day-to-day. She learned to stop telling negative stories about everything about her life. Then, the universe served up the perfect invitation: the opportunity to participate in this discussion.

It was perfect. But more stood ready.

Life happens easy when one takes it easy.

Momentum ensues

The next session, Clare was super excited. She reached out to all the panelists. Nearly all of them replied. Three of them invited her to an in person conversation. Long story short, one of these conversations happened on a photo set in a small company owned and run by a lesbian couple.

Clare’s manifestation was unfolding…

Clare said she could tell she impressed them. She was high flying in relating how the conversation went. She added the other conversations thrilled her too, but this one was the most thrilling.

“Go with that feeling,” I told her. And she did.

She continued corresponding with those panel members who responded to her most actively. Then, one day, seemingly out of the blue, Clare got a voice message from someone she didn’t know.

The voice message told her a corporate gig was coming up and, if she was available, the voice said, they’d love to have her join the team running the shoot.

Clare just got an employment offer!

Manifestation…happens

That same day, she put the details together with the caller. By the time we had our session that afternoon, the opportunity was hers. It came together literally an hour before our session began.

Needless to say, Clare was over the moon. She told me her mother and father both expressed pride in her getting her first paid gig, in her field of choice, with lots of opportunities to leverage this experience into future gigs.

But Clare and I both know the only leverage she needs is the leverage inherent in her power as a deliberate creator, exercised through her powerful story telling.

“I told my mom,” she said. “Getting work this way is 1,000 times more satisfying than going through Indeed.com.”

Indeed. When a person creates opportunity, it’s always more satisfying than going hunting for one. It’s much more fun seeing what one wants come to you rather than you having to go out and find it.

Whether it’s work, income, a lover, better health or happiness, nothing lies out of the realm of the possible. Unless one’s stories say something is impossible, nothing is.

If you’re a transgender woman lonely and longing for love, or a trans-attracted person yearning for that special someone, or you want better work, more money or something else you think will make you happy, there’s no better Source for any of that than the stories you tell yourself.

You are the genie in the bottle standing ready to fulfill your every wish. If you’re ready to tell better stories about your life so that your life improves, and would like some help with that, I’m here.

A delightful post script:

I finished writing this post and the next week, had a session with Clare. She came to the session overflowing with excitement. That’s because after doing the gig described above, “out of the blue” three other people called her. They all offered additional gigs, at rates 21 percent higher than the first one! One of the newer gigs is a 4-5 day shoot, meaning Clare will receive over $1400 for 4 days work!

“This sure beats my Starbucks job!” She said. “I used to make maybe $50 a day there.”

Indeed. Once a person gets in the grove telling positive stories, the flood gates can open, revealing that the Universe, for sure, is pouring down everything one wants. Clare’s experience is a perfect example of that!