Transgender - The Transamorous Network

August 29, 2023July 16, 2023

A Transgender Woman Buys Miss Universe Pageant?

Rikkie Valerie Kollé being crowned Miss Nederland (Photo: Instagram)

Holy Smokes! A transgender woman owns the Miss Universe Pageant. I didn’t know this. Did you?

A friend sent a text about the Miss Netherlands pageant naming Rikkie Valerie Kollé, who is trans, its 2023 title holder. While researching that wonderful news I discovered the new Miss Universe Pageant owner, Anne Jakrajutatip, is also trans.

It’s a delicious irony. That’s because Donald Trump owned the pageant before. Jakrajutatip bought it in 2022 for $14 million. But she owns more than Miss Universe. She also owns Miss USA, and the Miss Teen USA beauty pageant. She bought all three for a total of $20 million. Jakrajutatip said she’s committed to advancing Miss Universe as a more inclusive platform as part of her intention to transform the brand for the next generation.

“I don’t call Miss Universe a beauty pageant anymore,” Jakrajutatip told Metro Weekly in January. “I call it a women’s empowerment competition.”

Almost immediately after acquiring the pageants, Jakrajutatip also opened Miss Universe to mothers and married women. Groups unable to compete in prior years. Responding to a question about her declaration Jakrajutatip said, “Whether married or divorced, they [women] can compete, and do you know why? If you’ve had a husband but you’re still beautiful and fabulous, then why not?”

That’s awesome.

So who is this new owner of the biggest pageant in the world?

She’s a remarkable woman

Anne Jakrajutatip is a Thai businesswoman, television host and Chief Executive Officer of JKN Global Group, according to Wikipedia. Forbes says she’s the third richest transgender person in the world. Her estimated wealth exceeds $200 million. That’s impressive.

Other successful transgender business people exist, of course. They include the Wachowski siblings, and Martine Aliana Rothblatt, co-founder of Sirius XM. So I’m not surprised by Jakrajutatip’s wealth and success. Transgender women have it going on! That is, when they know their value, which, it appears Jakrajutatip does.

Jakrajutatip was born in Bangkok. Her parents ran a video rental store and encouraged her to learn English. She has two siblings, attended schools in Thailand and Australia and is 44 years old. She also created and directs “Life Inspired for Transsexual Foundation”. That’s a charity advocating for transgender rights in Thailand.

As for relationships, it’s unclear whether Jakrajutatip has one. Details are sketchy. She claims to have a “soulmate”. But I couldn’t find who that is. Meanwhile, she’s hanging out with young German-Filipino model and actor, Clint Bondad. They sure look like a couple. But she swears they aren’t.

Anne Jakrajutatip, (Photo By POPPORY FASHION BLOG, CC BY 3.0)

It’s not about the gossip

So this post seems to be about gossip and tabloid material. It’s not though. Instead, this post is about TREMENDOUS progress happening for transgender folks. All at the hands of successful transgender women!

Successful transgender women are in nearly every profession. All round the globe they’re making an impact. The more boardrooms, seats in congress and director’s chairs they take, the greater influence they’ll have.

So think about this. Many transgender women think GUYS coming out as trans-attracted will take transgender acceptance mainstream. If you ask me, that’s unnecessary. Because transgender women are doing just fine on their own. In other words, transgender women don’t need men to validate their existence.

What they do need is more transgender women living authentically. Moreover, they need more transgender women living successfully. Success can be defined many ways. If transgender women like Jakrajutatip, Sarah McBride, and others can do it, YOU can too, dear transgender reader. All you need is to know what you are. Then put that knowledge into practice.

And when more transgender women live successful lives something remarkable will happen: more men transgender women want will show up.

The men are out there. Your success as a transgender woman will bring you more men than you can handle. So many that, instead of complaining about where they are, you’ll be complaining about having too many!

Every transgender woman can experience this. Whatever your current circumstances, they don’t matter. Circumstances show up as reflections of one’s stories. So changing stories changes circumstances. Want proof? Become the proof you’re wanting to see.

I can help with that.

August 15, 2023July 2, 2023

It’s Not Your Trans Circus, Nor Your Trans-Attracted Monkey

The following comes from reader and subscriber Jaimie Harris. She responded to our post about what trans and trans-attracted love can look like. In that post we described how effortless finding love can be. We shared the experience of a transgender client who, by telling increasingly better stories, is finding her way through increasingly better trans-attracted guys.

What Jamie shares further illustrates how powerful stories are. They literally create our reality. And that’s exactly what happened with Jaimie. Her experience, like our client’s, illustrates everything we say here at The Transamorous Network.

Anyone can create anything they want. Whether a lover, a better job or a relationship. Whatever floats one’s boat can be one’s reality. But to have that, one must become a match to that ideal condition. That means thinking and believing in ways consistent with that which one wants.

It’s not easy at first. But that’s only because we’ve allowed ourselves to be trained out of that natural way of being. Every other living thing on this planet lives this way. Which is why you don’t see birds, for example, working hard. Or bears worried about the winter.

So here’s Jaimie’s response to our post. See if you can identify where she changed her old story to match what she wants. Then as a result ends up with exactly that.

Soothing one’s self to get what one wants

Thank you, your writing is on point. I was overwhelmingly lonely, after being on my own for several years. I have dated several men only to find out that they were still married, but they had no intimacy at home. Their problem, not mine. But I primarily prefer to be with ladies. I am pansexual.

As I was seeking ladies out to date online, even though I live in a city of 8 million people, I still had been unable to find my true love. I know that in my chats I was showing myself to be insecure and too needy for a relationship. But I couldn’t help it because of my overwhelming loneliness.

Finally, I got to the point where I could back off a little bit and decided that if they wanted to stop chatting after a day or two, it was their problem not mine. And then I became less needy when I was online. Now I have a girlfriend who I am engaged to that I met online. Every day she and I are together is even better than the previous day. She is trans but has not started her transition yet. I look forward to making her transition easier than I was since I had no support at home. Each day we are together our love grows stronger.

I’m sure that those ladies I was trying to date online were thinking I had issues that I still needed to resolve from having lived life as trans and being told I wasn’t worth anything to anybody and I was mental and perverted. I had seen two therapist, but neither one of them were familiar with LGBT issues, even though they advertised they were.

But your writing has always helped me to keep grounded. Thank you.

Evidence surrounds us daily

We are literally surrounded by evidence proving our thoughts create our reality. Jaimie changed her beliefs. She released beliefs creating “loneliness” enough to attract someone she eventually fell in love with. She also released beliefs telling her she was broken. In doing so, she realized therapists she was seeing couldn’t help her.

Now empowered, she can support her loved one in ways she didn’t enjoy. She no longer believes that other people’s actions have something to do with her. It’s a great way to live: “Not my monkey, not my circus”. Let other people live how they want. Make nothing they do about you. Then watch as your life improves.

Many great things lie ahead of Jaimie if she continues releasing old, disempowering beliefs. The path to everything we want unfolds when we do that. Jaimie’s experience also shows that anyone can do this work. It all comes down to living authentically. And by that, I mean living the fully-positive, enthusiastic, empowered self that lies at the core of all of us. By living from there, life must reflect that back to us in the form of a life we love.

Most of us, transgender, trans-attracted or otherwise instead live lives “realistically”. We think we must be up to speed on current events. We must believe what others tell us. What they tell us about being trans, or trans-attracted, they assert is “true”.

I tell my clients nothing they want lies on that path. Become positively deranged, however, and witness the wonderful life that unfolds from that.

Jamie’s figuring it out. You can too. Need some help? If you need some help, I’m here.

August 1, 2023June 18, 2023

Most Trans-Attracted Men Don’t Know What They’re Doing. Forgive Them.

If you’ve read posts here before, you get a sense of our perspective. Humans create everything in our experience. Including other people. But nearly all of us are doing that unaware that’s what we’re doing. So we blame the world around us, and other people, for our troubles. All the while not realizing when we do that, we create more trouble for ourselves.

Tremendous amounts of power lie hidden in that very true synopsis of our perspective.

Trans-attracted men (and transgender women) are no exception to this. Most of us think the world around us some objective thing. It’s separate from us, not springing out of us as a reflection of our inner state. So it’s not a wonder trans-attracted men will react to inner awareness with fear. Their basis for self understanding is external, as it is for most of us. It doesn’t matter that that basis is flawed, which it is. When they notice something about themselves, they will consult the world around them for what’s true.

Transgender women do this too.

Unfortunately, the world around them will tell them they are the problem. Then, trying to fit in, they’ll hide this new awareness, or try changing it. Social ostracism, for the uninitiated trans-attracted guy, is a terrible thing. Familial ostracism is even worse. Ostracism from one’s manliness is an even more fearsome thing. No wonder such men struggle accepting what they are. Just like many transgender women.

It’s meant this way

But the world IS a reflection. And like all reflections, it’s an illusion. The paradox of this world though, is, if you walk onto a freeway, cars zooming toward you will kill you. So we must all contend with the powerful “reality” we put ourselves in that feels so real…when it’s, at the same time, not at all real.

After all, if we knew it wasn’t real coming in, the benefit of life would not be ours, would it? So we hypnotize ourselves into this “kill you” part of the paradox.

Meanwhile, the reflection serves us all. It aids in our becoming better versions of ourselves. “Better versions” look like increasingly pure expressions of divine intelligence. More direct expressions of All That Is, in other words.

“Trans” and “trans attraction” represent this purer, more direct expression. What do you think Divine Intelligence, or All That Is, looks like anyway? A grey-bearded white guy?

NO!

All That Is is “TRANS gender”. It comprises both genders while simultaneously rising above them all. It is more than the sum of its (infinite parts).

And so are we.

Physical reality is an illusion…that can kill you. (Photo by Chris Barbalis on Unsplash)

Back to the guys

Trans-attracted men are identical to transgender women when viewed from this perspective. They are on similar paths. You could say they are on different aspects of the same path. No one’s murdering these guys, sure. But again, it’s not the SAME path! It’s a DIFFERENT ASPECT of the same path. We could even call it a COMPLEMENTARY aspect.

In other words, while transgender people need no protectors, trans-attracted men can complement them in off-the-chart ways. But these men first must know what they’re doing with their trans-attraction. Their journey from Chaser to Transamory IS THAT PROCESS.

If transgender women were willing to change their view of such men, they would find powerful allies there. Yes, it takes a profound willingness to change one’s mind in the face of so much evidence to the contrary. And I know most transgender women won’t do stop looking at the contrary evidence long enough to do that. It’s true: self-loathing is a powerful elixir.

But some do. Some like my clients.

Every story can change. Even self loathing ones. A powerful figure with tremendous global influence once said of his tormentors “Forgive them Father. They know not what they do.” There’s great power in forgiveness. That and asking questions.

A simple question can change the course of even the most vile person. And in that way transgender women can become catalysts for trans-attracted men. If they choose to.

So, transgender women, the next time you get a dick pick from some online dating app you’d do better not being on, perhaps instead of getting mad, forgive the sender. He doesn’t know what he’s doing.

Then, maybe, ask them a question. Like: Why do you think sending me this picture will get you what you think you want?

Then see what happens next.

June 13, 2023May 30, 2023

A Transgender Woman’s Dream Love Life: What It Looks Like

Despite what so many transgender women claim when they write me, this “Your stories create your reality” business really works. Those saying it doesn’t with no evidence to back their claims, and no effort put in to testing it, don’t know what the hell they’re talking about.

Meanwhile my TRANSGENDER clients are finding empowerment, joy and satisfaction knowing they create their reality.

Case in point: Casey (Not her real name). It’s taken her a year and a half to discover how powerful she is. Yet, in that 18 months, she’s realized what I say in this blog over and over: Everyone creates their reality.

Instead of complaining that I’m “blaming the victim” or “saying it’s their fault” for shitty experiences people create, Casey put the practice to the test. She tested it in the only place real results could convince her: In her personal life. And in the 18-months not only has she completely transformed her dating circumstances, she’s changing a whole lot more in the process.

The most prominent change is in her soothed disposition and her belief that she does, indeed, create her reality. Let’s look at how this all started for her.

Men are a threat

When she first contacted me, Casey felt attraction to men. She wanted to be married to a man. Yet, any man that gave her any more than passing attention, Casey interpreted it negatively.

She thought the men would wage violence on her. She thought men looked at her as a “man in a dress”. When men complimented something about her, she would overlook the compliment and get stressed over they guy’s attention.

The first example she gave me in our preliminary session was at a grocery store parking lot. As she walked from her car towards the store, Casey said a guy followed her, “very slowly” in his car.

“I got really scared,” She said.

“What did you think he was going to do?” I asked.

Casey said “I don’t know! I was just scared.”

My first attempt to begin changing her perspective was asking her a question she would have never considered in that experience:

“How do you now that guy staring at you and following you in his car wasn’t attracted to or fascinated about you?” I asked.

The question stunned her.

She never considered the man might have positive reasons for eyeballing her. She, like many transgender women, was too steeped in the statistics. And while stats have some merit….THEY’RE JUST NUMBERS! Anyone who understands statistics knows that when one looks at an individual data point, statistical probabilities almost totally break down. Even statisticians will tell you that.

What’s more, everyone is creating their own reality. Meaning, no one is beholden to a collection of past creations others have created, which is what stats are.

Many people, including transgender women, think statistics say something about their future. They don’t. (Photo by Lacie Slezak on Unsplash)

The stats don’t matter…unless you let the

But transgender women will quote stats until the cows come home about how much at risk they are. They’ll exclaim how “true” they are. And then live in fear.

Not Casey. She was willing to try something different. Why? Because everything else wasn’t working. I wish my clients didn’t wait until they hit rock bottom. But sometimes that’s the only time a human will try something new.

After weeks of sessions, Casey began entertaining more positive stories about why men stared at her. She also started telling more positive stories about her dismal experience with online dating.

She had terrible experiences. Much like many transgender women will tell their friends about. Trans-attracted men were dicks, Casey would say.

“They always text me when drunk. They always want to see my dick or share theirs. I don’t wanna get involved with that shit!” she exclaimed.

I asked if she could come up with other reasons why trans-attracted men would do such things. What reasons could trans-attracted men behave from which would cause them to behave the way they were, I asked.

It took her a while, and a lot of coaching. But over time, Casey began to come up with more positive and empowering reasons for behaviors she’d experience with men.

Those reasons had her feel more compassion and understanding for trans-attracted men. As her feelings about the men softened her experiences gradually started changing.

A big shift

Casey really wants to meet a man in the small town she comes from. Right now, she lives in a big town. She believed at one time that a man who would date her let alone marry her wouldn’t dare live in her hometown. I told her that was bullshit because the universe will give a person anything they want.

Casey also wanted to meet men in person. Men who would take her out on dates. Most men she met online lived across the country or hundreds of miles away. Almost all of them ghosted her after a short online courtship.

But as her stories improved, the men stayed around longer. They expressed more interest in her as a person. Some revealed their own struggles as trans-attracted men. In short, Casey started to see this shift in the men she was meeting (with some terse pointing out on my part).

All this time, I told her her reality was changing as she changed her inner reality. I regularly pointed indications of her improved mood and the improving quality of men she met.

Until one day a man reached out to her online. He lived in the same town as Casey. He wanted to take her out on a date. It was a lot of what Casey asked for. Then, before that guy could followup on the invite ANOTHER guy, this time living about 13 miles outside Casey’s town wrote. He was better than the first guy. But the first guy was extremely sweet.

More evidence…

After a series of long online conversations, this guy, let’s call him Jason, went dark. Casey started complaining about yet another guy ghosting her. But she quickly caught her negative story. She wanted him to reach out, but was also wanting to reach out to him out of insecurity. She felt that if she reached out to him, he’d reach back out to her.

The problem with that strategy is her insecurity would speak way louder than her words. So the guy would pick up on that and give her more of what she’s focusing on: her insecurity. And therefore not reply. I strongly suggested she not take any action. Instead, I suggested she just be open to hearing from him. That’s what she did. And here’s what happened straight from Casey’s phone:

It’s interesting to note something I always beat into my clients: What another person says or does is NEVER about you. It’s always about THEM. But a lot of people, transgender women included, will make things about THEM when it’s really NOT.

A guy sending dick pics is NOT ABOUT YOU.

Someone you’re interested in you ghosting you IS NOT ABOUT YOU.

Everything someone does – even if it’s a good thing they do – is ALWAYS about them!

As icing on Casey’s cake, check out the text the guy sent her the next evening. A vast improvement from her past experiences:

Where many trans-attracted guys are when talking with transgender women. Yet, most won’t be honest about how they’re feeling.

This text blew Casey away.

A remarkable shift everyone can experience

This series of events seems extraordinary. It’s not though. What happened here with Casey can happen with ANY transgender woman. It doesn’t matter what her circumstances are because the Universe is ready to deliver to everyone anything they want.

And it IS delivering. What’s keeping the delivery from happening is the person wanting it. That person blocks the delivery with stories inconsistent with what they want.

Notice what Casey said in that final text. She’s expressing empowerment and happiness on a subject many transgender women experience insecurity and fear. Every transgender woman can experience what Casey here expresses. All it takes is a little willingness to tell different stories.

A whole lot more goodness happened with Casey since this guy reached out. But that’s for another post. If you’re wanting experiences, dramatic shifts like Casey’s, in love, or any other subject, you can have it.

And I can help. Contact me and let’s get you going on the road to your lover!

April 4, 2023February 10, 2023

The Best Way To Improved Transgender Lives

Many trans-attracted men and transgender women have a hard time with this because it sounds so unbelievably “absurd”. And yet, there’s ample evidence supporting the notion. The notion that the fastest way to a better life, whether it’s finding a partner, having family accept us or finding more freedom in society, comes from first accepting how life is now.

Now, some transgender women who come to this story will push hard against this. Their experience seemingly shows them the best way to change a life situation is to push against it, resist it, protest about it.

But one of life’s many paradoxes is, it is the accepting of what is that makes change happen faster. And, in every case where change happens, that’s what makes it happen. Even when it looks like that’s not happening.

An old client of mine found this to be the case. After a l-o-n-g period of her family disowning her, she recently IM’d me with delightful news:

A former client realizes a long-held desire. Her family had disowned her. But now, after practicing what we offer at The Transamorous Network, she’s manifested a long-held wish.

Make peace release resistance

Persistent negative experiences, especially involving other people, remain persistent because we focus on trying to change the experience. But the problem with changing the experience involves why we want to do that. Typically, humans want change because they don’t like what they have. Trans-attracted men feel shame about their trans-attraction, for example. They don’t want to feel that awful emotion. So they try changing what they are.

But if they make peace with their trans-attraction, “shame” gets replaced with “being ok with what is.” That making peace eliminates one’s focus on the unwanted experience. Eventually “being ok” allows the person to explore their bogus stories about trans-attraction. Stories like “I must be gay” or, “my family will disown me”, under dispassionate scrutiny can then turn into more empowering stories.

In the absence of resistance, change will show up. Especially when the person focuses on what they want, while being ok with what they have.

That’s part of the practice I share with my clients. As simple as it seems, it has powerful, enduring force. Force born of what creates and maintains the Universe.

Future improvement

The same goes with transgender women. If we want love from men, love that looks like what we want, we must stop looking at experiences that don’t match that. We also need to stop complaining about those experiences. Complaining is focus. Negative focus. Negative focus amplifies that which we complain about. Since the Universe gives us what we focus on, not what we want, the Universe in this situation will give us more to complain about.

But when we come to peace with experiences we’re having and revel in the reality that we’re creating those experiences, we embrace our power. And there, future experiences MUST look different. Especially if we focus on what we want, instead of what we don’t.

Abraham, one of my spiritual guides, putting it plainly. Improvement happens speedily when we accept our present.

We must stop complaining. Focus on what we want instead. Appreciate, or at the very least, accept what we have. For the change we want can’t happen so long as we resist what we have.

But in the acceptance, we come into eventual new futures. Futures aligned with everything we want. It’s the Charmed Life I write about on my other blog.

Having trouble not complaining? Give me a shoutout. I can help!