Transamorous men - The Transamorous Network

November 21, 2023October 5, 2023

Transgender Women Like This Give The Rest A Bad Name 😱

Editor’s note: This post published earlier this past summer. However, a kerfuffle developed around it. So we unpublished the post. We’re re-posting it now, having changed it given input from our readers and from the Medium.com legal department. Read about that kerfuffle this post triggered here.

Some transgender women act in ways that tarnish the entire community. These women do things that make life hard for everyone involved. Of course, some trans-attracted men do the same. They make it hard for all the other trans-attracted men.

But this post isn’t about the men. It’s about one specific woman. Her, and a mystery we solved last year with the help of a trans-attracted guy. What I find highly gratifying about this is how it happened perfectly demonstrates how “stories create reality” works 100 percent of the time.

For when I first heard what this person was doing, I didn’t complain about it. Rather I was fascinated by it. I wrote a blog to warn men about her. Then I privately told the story that the Universe would show me who this person was.

I wrote that post two years ago. Last summer, the Universe gave me what I wanted. Here’s how that happened.

A familiar MO

A trans-attracted guy wrote me on Instagram out of the blue. He was in the middle of divorcing his wife. While separated he tried dating this person. Things went awry, as they usually do when people don’t have their stories straight. Then, in retaliation, this trans woman outed the guy to his wife.

The wife then used the guy’s trans-attraction in court to wrest sole custody of their kids. She then called me in a tizzy about her ex being trans-attracted and how her life has been destroyed…

That’s another story.

But the guy’s experience felt super-familiar. That’s because not long before this, I received a similar story from a midwestern father who received a similar letter about his son.

So when the Instagram guy wrote me, it seemed auspicious. I’m keeping his name out of this at his request. He doesn’t want anymore drama.

The guy who helped me solve the mystery telling his story.

Apparently then, this trans woman seeks men via online dating apps. When things go bad for her (because her stories match her with men matching her stories) she outs the men to wives, friends and families. And she includes our contact information.

Such actions are highly inappropriate. It’s like when people in the 80s and 90s outed gay men against their will. You’d think this woman would know better as there are many transgender women who face similar situations.

The guy who wrote me gave me her telephone number. He didn’t remember her name. But the number was enough. With it I was able to identify her. I sent the guy some pics and he confirmed the person in the pics was the girl.

Trans-vigilante: REVEALED

Her name is Úmi. If you meet a woman with that name, you might want to avoid her.

Of course men who met her and then ended up on the receiving end of her ire created that rendezvous too. They are not victims. Neither is the guy who helped me. Everyone is responsible for what they create.

But that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t help men avoid unnecessary complications on their Chaser to Transamorous journey. So guys: consider this your second warning.

This person destroyed two families and drove at least one woman (that I know of) to the brink of suicide. This is a serious matter.

If you sympathize with what Úmi has been doing because you think men deserve this, you might want to consider how it felt the last time you were on the receiving end of attention you didn’t want or abuse you felt undeserved. While everyone creates their reality, some of us with the ability to help others have the option to do so. That’s one reason why I started this blog and work with clients both trans and trans-attracted.

On that note, I must acknowledge this person was very briefly a Transamorous Network client. She did not reveal her behavior to me in the very few, preliminary sessions we had. I reached out to her several times prior to publishing this post. She did not respond to my requests.

And to be clear, should I discover men acting egregiously as this person has, I would share that information too.

A desire to serve and enjoying proof

I don’t know if she still behaves this way. She’s beautiful and, like all people, can get what she wants. I know (because all people are this way) a loving heart and compassionate spirit exists within her. Acting from rage or disempowerment isn’t helpful. It’s clear she realizes she could benefit from help. She just needs to clean up her stories, then she’ll be closer to getting what she wants.

Before she knows it, she can enjoy love from men, instead of matching up with men who trigger her ire. After all, they are only reflecting that ire back to her, reflecting her inner state of self-loathing and insecurity.

Meanwhile, I’m stoked with what happened. The Universe answers all desires. I’m glad this turned out the way it did. I got what I wanted.

I wanted to know who was using The Transamorous Network’s brand in a way that was causing unnecessary harm. In asking, the Universe gave that to me. It’s just one more example proving this practice works.

Our stories create all our experiences. Change our stories and our experiences change. Anything we ask for can be our experience. It takes some time though. This experience stretched over a couple years.

Thank goodness we’re all eternal. Because of that what’s a couple years in the context of eternity? It’s literally less than a blink of an eye.

I love it when what I share with clients gets confirmed in my own life. It’s icing to see it confirmed in my client’s lives too. And I’m appreciative the guy reached out to me the way he did. It was a perfect manifestation of my desire to know who this trans woman was.

September 5, 2023July 22, 2023

Why People Are Born Transgender And Trans-Attracted

Why are we born transgender and trans-attracted? Why are we born at all? What’s the purpose? Why would someone want the struggle and shame? Why would we choose being so different?

Ordinary people ask similar questions. But transgender and trans-attracted people might especially want to know. Being trans or trans-attracted can bring many struggles. Struggles piled on top of struggles everyone else faces. It seems someone’s playing a cruel joke.

What gives?

Unfortunately, most people never find satisfactory answers. Life’s dramas overwhelm them. Living in modern society does too. After all, a woman’s gotta eat. A guy needs shelter. Both need healthcare.

But knowing the answers liberates anyone who has them. Because knowing the answers is a super power. With it, getting what we need happens so much easier. Transamorous Network Clients gradually discover this. Especially when it comes to finding love.

Knowing why is powerful

But transgender and trans-attracted people don’t need a mentor to enjoy lives that work. Plenty of transgender people live lives of influence. Lives full of personal and professional satisfaction. Lives filled with love and belonging.

But even those people will eventually face the ultimate test: death. How one handles that experience determines what happens next. So even someone with a happy life can enjoy benefits coming from knowing why we come into the world as trans and trans-attracted. The answer greatly enriches even the happiest life.

Besides, we don’t really know how happy a person is. Outward appearances don’t always equate to inner happiness. That explains why so may seemingly successful, happy people kill themselves. But the answer can prevent suicide too. That’s how powerful the answer is.

This is trans activist, owner of the Miss Universe pageant and the third richest transgender person in the world, Anne Jakrajutatip. Lots of trans people are successful and influential. But we can’t know if they’re really happy or not. (Photo By POPPORY FASHION BLOG, CC BY 3.0)

In fact, knowing the answer is like a magic spell. One that actually works though. Taking time to know the answer, then, can transform lives. It’s a wonder so many don’t take the time to get it.

So what is it? What’s the answer? Why do we come into the world as trans and trans-attracted? Hang on to your hat, sweet pea. The answer is deep.

We are that which we call God

We come here, because the very act of coming is literally expanding the Universe. Our arrival literally is All That Is focusing itself into becoming more of all that is. I know, I’m using the word “literally” often in this paragraph. But it literally cannot be stated anymore clearly than this. Our individual human experience is the process by which All That Is becomes more. It’s not just the process though. Our human experience, our consciousness, is Universe.

So Universal expansion occurs through our experience. So what?

Well, imagine a god. It’s eternal, all-knowing. It experiences itself as constantly expanding. But it wants more. So it continues expanding into its own expansion. And the more it expands, the more it creates to expand into. “New” then, becomes that which occupies it most. Because “new” represents more expansion. So the more “new” it can experience, the more it becomes.

Transgender isn’t new. Neither is trans-attraction. But our specific experience of it is. And so you and me coming in to the world now represents “new”. A new perspective. A new experience.

Well, let’s get back to that god.

It has always been. It has seen everything that comes to be, unfold in ways that keep things being. Everything becomes better as it becomes more. Everything works out. So how do you think that god would feel about all that?

That’s right! It would be eager about it. It would be joyful in its creations. Especially any new instance of experience.

Well, we, as a transgender and trans-attracted humans represent that new experience. What’s more, that hypothetical god introduced above is us, having this human experience. We’re the eternal being pleased beyond measure with our expansion.

Here’s the benefit of knowing

When we perceive our life on Earth the way we perceive it from our “godly” realm, then we enjoy all that we are the same way that hypothetical god does: with eagerness. There’s great benefit in doing that.

Because when we do, we let go of stories (beliefs) creating experiences we don’t want. How do you think the world around us happens? It happens through our collective focus. It literally happens “through” us.

When we realize we are that which creates the world around us, we have tremendous leverage of the entire Universe at our disposal. Leverage we can use consciously, deliberately to create lives we love. No matter what that looks like.

But it takes a while to learn how to harness that leverage. It takes a while to unlearn how we look at and interpret the world. It also takes a while to learn to see it the way I’m describing. That’s why a mentor can be helpful. My clients get it. Like Penelope here, who is transgender:

Learning to see life in its original cast offers TREMENDOUS opportunity. This is why my clients rave about being clients!

A delicious, satisfying life

The best version of life is being an instance of the god we are, adding to expansion, and being consciously aware that’s what we’re doing. We literally are that sacred, glorious, act of creation. Realizing this, life becomes absolutely amazing and delicious, as my clients and I can attest.

Even the word “delicious“ cannot adequately convey how absolutely satisfying life gets. Yes, transgender and trans-attracted lives included. The experience I’m describing becomes intoxicating. It becomes wonderful beyond words. As it does, everything we want happens too, as it should. After all, if we are gods, and we are, what is beyond our abilities?

That’s right! Nothing.

And so what would you create? If you knew you are creator, what would you create? This is what my clients and I are about: creating and living lives full of things we love. And everything else we want too, all coming to us effortlessly. Because we are the creators of our lives.

It starts with learning to satisfy our desires. Satisfied desires become the basis of the life that’s possible. Eventually, though, our intentions expand to include bolder creations. Creations leading to truly extraordinary experiences.

The no-limits life

The charmed life in its fullest is the experience described above. The absolutely satisfying, conscious awareness of every particle of expansion we create as god. That creation moving out from our consciousness, becoming the world around us. A world defined and created by our deliberate intent. Physical reality bending to our will, literally.

It’s in that full experience where one begins really exploring how far they can take things. Only our imagination limits us.

So physical life experience as a transgender or trans-attracted person contributes to All That Is. Remember, we each are All That Is. So our life is a contribution to ourselves. The trick is realizing this as a knowing, not mere intellectual understanding. When that happens, the power of the Universe lines up behind us.

Then everything becomes possible. No limits. Fulfillment of every desire. I think everyone would want that, whether they’re trans, trans-attracted or not. Why so few are open to discovering this is a wonder, for sure.

My own experience proves the extremely gratifying nature of expanding awareness. I’m seeing things people think impossible becoming my reality. It’s gradual, and that’s for good reasons. I want to savor every moment of expansion. If it all happened at once it would be totally overwhelming!

Expansion is a given, but awareness is optional

Our collective participation in All That Is’ expansion is a given. The only question is: are we consciously participating in it or not? Rewards from consciously doing so are enormous. My clients are well on the way to realizing this, as am I. I’d love to include you too. The more the merrier!

So why are we born? What’s the purpose? Why would I choose being so different? Why did you?

Answering these questions is so worth it. Receiving the answers literally gives us everything we want. Including things we didn’t realize we wanted. Things far more satisfying than a lover, a great career, a new car or other material thing.

Transgender and trans-attracted people come into this world with a truly divine intent. Expansion is the fundamental nature of All That Is. It is our fundamental nature. Conscious realization of that has no peer in terms of satisfaction, delight, or joy.

Experience it directly. Contact me. Let’s get started.

August 1, 2023June 18, 2023

Most Trans-Attracted Men Don’t Know What They’re Doing. Forgive Them.

If you’ve read posts here before, you get a sense of our perspective. Humans create everything in our experience. Including other people. But nearly all of us are doing that unaware that’s what we’re doing. So we blame the world around us, and other people, for our troubles. All the while not realizing when we do that, we create more trouble for ourselves.

Tremendous amounts of power lie hidden in that very true synopsis of our perspective.

Trans-attracted men (and transgender women) are no exception to this. Most of us think the world around us some objective thing. It’s separate from us, not springing out of us as a reflection of our inner state. So it’s not a wonder trans-attracted men will react to inner awareness with fear. Their basis for self understanding is external, as it is for most of us. It doesn’t matter that that basis is flawed, which it is. When they notice something about themselves, they will consult the world around them for what’s true.

Transgender women do this too.

Unfortunately, the world around them will tell them they are the problem. Then, trying to fit in, they’ll hide this new awareness, or try changing it. Social ostracism, for the uninitiated trans-attracted guy, is a terrible thing. Familial ostracism is even worse. Ostracism from one’s manliness is an even more fearsome thing. No wonder such men struggle accepting what they are. Just like many transgender women.

It’s meant this way

But the world IS a reflection. And like all reflections, it’s an illusion. The paradox of this world though, is, if you walk onto a freeway, cars zooming toward you will kill you. So we must all contend with the powerful “reality” we put ourselves in that feels so real…when it’s, at the same time, not at all real.

After all, if we knew it wasn’t real coming in, the benefit of life would not be ours, would it? So we hypnotize ourselves into this “kill you” part of the paradox.

Meanwhile, the reflection serves us all. It aids in our becoming better versions of ourselves. “Better versions” look like increasingly pure expressions of divine intelligence. More direct expressions of All That Is, in other words.

“Trans” and “trans attraction” represent this purer, more direct expression. What do you think Divine Intelligence, or All That Is, looks like anyway? A grey-bearded white guy?

NO!

All That Is is “TRANS gender”. It comprises both genders while simultaneously rising above them all. It is more than the sum of its (infinite parts).

And so are we.

Physical reality is an illusion…that can kill you. (Photo by Chris Barbalis on Unsplash)

Back to the guys

Trans-attracted men are identical to transgender women when viewed from this perspective. They are on similar paths. You could say they are on different aspects of the same path. No one’s murdering these guys, sure. But again, it’s not the SAME path! It’s a DIFFERENT ASPECT of the same path. We could even call it a COMPLEMENTARY aspect.

In other words, while transgender people need no protectors, trans-attracted men can complement them in off-the-chart ways. But these men first must know what they’re doing with their trans-attraction. Their journey from Chaser to Transamory IS THAT PROCESS.

If transgender women were willing to change their view of such men, they would find powerful allies there. Yes, it takes a profound willingness to change one’s mind in the face of so much evidence to the contrary. And I know most transgender women won’t do stop looking at the contrary evidence long enough to do that. It’s true: self-loathing is a powerful elixir.

But some do. Some like my clients.

Every story can change. Even self loathing ones. A powerful figure with tremendous global influence once said of his tormentors “Forgive them Father. They know not what they do.” There’s great power in forgiveness. That and asking questions.

A simple question can change the course of even the most vile person. And in that way transgender women can become catalysts for trans-attracted men. If they choose to.

So, transgender women, the next time you get a dick pick from some online dating app you’d do better not being on, perhaps instead of getting mad, forgive the sender. He doesn’t know what he’s doing.

Then, maybe, ask them a question. Like: Why do you think sending me this picture will get you what you think you want?

Then see what happens next.

May 30, 2023February 12, 2024

Men Who “Bottom” Offer Pleasure To Trans Women

Alright. Let’s admit something up front. This story will trigger many transgender women. I’m not meaning to trigger transgender women. I’m meaning to soothe their resistance so they get what they want. Still, if you’re trans and feeling triggered, please stop reading.

Physical reality thrives on diversity. In all the Universe, diversity reigns. “All the Universe” includes the transgender community. My conversations with transgender women and trans-attracted men confirm what I know: great diversity exists in the trans community. Not all transgender people believe the same. Nor do they behave the same. Nor do they prefer the same things. Isn’t this obvious?

So while perhaps the majority of trans women may agree on any given subject, there always will be those who don’t. That’s great news for some trans-attracted men. Because as long as trans-attracted men exist, there will be transgender women matching those men’s preferences. And vice versa.

The Universe drove that home for me the other day. I didn’t see it coming, honestly. So when it happened, it blew me away. I consider myself pretty well-versed on trans/trans-attraction issues. But I guess even an old salty dog of a windbag like me can learn something new.

An unexpected enlightenment

A reader of mine, proud as hell about his trans-attraction, responded to one of my recent stories. What he wrote was astounding. It astounded me because I hadn’t thought about the perspective he shared:

Julian’s comment blew my mind on several levels. Not only is Julian proud of his trans-attraction, he lives his preferences out loud. But that’s not all. Julian takes it way beyond what I had thought about men who prefer pre-op transgender women.

What Julian is saying here is, transgender women who like to penetrate men enjoy that act. They find penetrating men sexually pleasing. In other words, fucking men, and seeing the men enjoy it, gives them pleasure. All this time I’ve taken that fact for granted. But it’s an important point. One worth highlighting. For women who like fucking men, those women like it. And so, men who like being fucked by transgender women who fuck men, offer such women pleasure.

Perfect matches exist

Of course there are transgender women who revile their penis. Some transgender women want their bodies to match who they believe they are. So they get Gender Confirmation Surgery (GCS). Those women won’t feel fully themselves until they do.

But there are also more transgender women coming out expressing appreciation for their penis. They are proud of not being like cis women. They don’t need GCS. They’re fine with who they are and what they are. Some pass, but some don’t care about that. And some of those women enjoy using what they were born with. For those women, it’s good men like Julian exist.

Even so, I always counsel men like Julian, especially those in early trans-attraction stages, to consider something important. Transgender women are human beings. Because they’re people, they bring far more to the table than a source of sexual gratification. But since men are men, they often express their attraction in hyper-sexualized or objectifying terms. Transgender women need to understand that. In other words, the men’s behavior isn’t personal.

Focus on wanted, not the opposite

If transgender women can get over taking what men do or say as personal, they can find their matches more quickly. It doesn’t take a large pool of men meeting a trans woman’s preferences to meet her match. If a transgender woman is monogamous, it only takes one guy. And the Universe will match her with that guy. If she’s a match to him.

But if transgender women believe only guys like Julian exist, and they don’t want that, then those women aren’t matches to the guys they want. So they won’t find them. Then they’ll compromise.

No wonder so many transgender women express bitterness towards men like Julian. They’re all busy focused on what they don’t want. So all they see is that. The problem is, in their bitterness, they’re not a match to the guys that aren’t like Julian. And so such men might as well not exist.

But they do exist.

A bitter trans woman complaining about “Julians” will not find them though. Because she’s not a match to them. Meanwhile the “Julians” of the world will find their matches. That’s because men like Julian focus on what they want and ignore everyone else. And everyone else’s opinions. So they get what they want. And as a result, the women they get get what they want too.

Photo by Dainis Graveris, Sexual Alpha

May 9, 2023December 2, 2023

Trans-Attracted Men: Your Struggle Is On You

Sometimes I get great responses from transgender women. More and more transgender women who get it write me. I like that. They confirm what I already know. When they do that, I know they are amplifying their own awareness. Including their awareness of the reality of trans-attracted men.

These are the kinds of transgender women I want to surround myself with. Women who are articulate, insightful and intelligent. Transgender women who are not consumed by self-loathing. Self-loathing that they then project onto trans-attracted men. I like interacting with transgender women who are a match to me. Like the woman who wrote me recently. It’s so refreshing when that happens.

By the way, doing what I’m doing here makes it more likely that I meet more such women. While I talk about what I want I get more of what I want. It also represents a basic, essential practice of “stories create your reality“. I’m telling stories about what I want. Doing so, I’m becoming more a match to what I want. And in becoming more of a match, I’m meeting more of the kinds of transgender women I want to acquaint myself with.

I love it when my life proves what I tell my clients. Meanwhile, my clients increasingly discover how effective telling positive stores is too.

It’s not easy at first. But after some practice, they get good at it. Then anything becomes possible.

One transgender woman to another

A regular reader of my articles on a social media website recently shared her perspective. Her perspective didn’t surprise me because this transgender women is brilliant AF. It doesn’t surprise me she also happens to be an artist. Artists have built-in connection with the wisdom of All That Is. In other words, they can access more readily, wisdom at the center of All That Is and express it as art. That’s why they create art.

Being transgender AND an artist is a major gift this woman gives to herself. I don’t know if she realizes how special she is, but I realize it. This is why when she shared her view, it didn’t surprise me. But what she wrote was so accurate, I had to share it.

Here’s the article she responded to. In it I raved about a telephone conversation I enjoyed with a trans-attracted guy. He reached out to me after looking at The Transamorous Network’s instagram profile. The guy inspired me so much I just had to share details of who he was. I’m glad I did. What I got in return was gold.

It’s up to you men

Genivieve began her response with a well-deserved critique on transgender women’s perspective on men:

“To be upset about being fetishized is to misunderstand men. Men objectify everything they desire. It’s not just Trans women. Cis women are equally objectified if not more so. It’s the way men fixate on their prey so to speak. It’s generally something they discovered earlier in life as they are first becoming a sexual being. Like being imprinted, it remains for life as their primary attraction.”

Imagine if more transgender women understood this. Hell, it would be great if Cis women understood this! It would take a lot of sting out of being objectified. Objectification needn’t be a triggering event. And it isn’t, when the person being objectified doesn’t tell stories about it that personalize it. That’s a more empowering way of looking at it anyway. Because when a man objectifies, it’s not personal! Well, it’s personal for him. But that’s all.

Like Genivieve says, men objectify pretty much everything they want. Not just women. They objectify cars, money, certain occupations. Again, it’s not personal. It’s just a process men use.

But — and here’s the kicker — men aren’t the only ones doing this. Women do it too. As offended as they get about it, women objectify men as well. They do the same to women sometimes. They even do it to themselves. Maybe not as much or as overtly as men. But that may be because society conditions women to conceal their very natural objectifying tendencies. If that conditioning weren’t there, my guess is women would take men’s objectifications less personally. And they’d be more transparent about when they objectify others.

But that’s another story.

The struggle of not taking objectification personally is a struggle. But it doesn’t need to be.

It’s on you men

Later in her comment, Genivieve gets to the heart of the matter. I love this because she pulls no punches. Nor need she. The bolded parts are made here for emphasis:

“The key with all men is to understand and allow them what they crave. If you want to keep a man’s interest, you must first be what he is actually attracted to. The social struggle for Trans-attracted men is the difficult part. That work is on them. Once we all can openly embrace who and what we are, we can live more simply and happily with someone that we can love completely.”

Hear, hear Genivieve! Indeed, trans-attracted men, your path is laid out before you. It’s on you to figure it out. No one’s going to do that for you. The thing is though, you took on this task yourself before you came into a body. So you’re up to the difficulty.

In fact, when you decided to come into the world as trans-attracted, you didn’t see it as going to be hard. You saw it as the great opportunity that it is. The opportunity to live in a new way. A new way that would help nudge humanity towards greater diversity, openness and expansion. And you knew you would be better because of the journey. The same is true for every transgender woman.

The crux of the matter

And this is why trans-attracted men and transgender women have the potential to be perfect mutual matches. That they often come together amidst all kinds of drama, blame, anger and frustration is the flip side of that mutual match potential.

And this is why I do what I do for both transgender women and trans-attracted men. So much potential for love exists between these two groups. If only both sides can get over their disempowering stories, then approach one another from understanding born of realization. I write these articles to nudge both sides to that realization.

It happens one person at a time. When it does, the sparks of love shine and everything becomes possible. Everything becoming possible first starts with you loving yourself. Or as Gen puts it: “openly embrac[ing] who and what we are”.

Trans or trans-attracted you’re meant to enjoy everything you desire. But as Gen says, it’s on you to get to that enjoyment. If you’re ready, I can help.

By the way, if you want to follow Genivieve on Medium, be my guest!