Transamorous men - The Transamorous Network

August 14, 2016August 1, 2016

A transamorous man tells his story

Version 2 When a future podcast guest sent me this story, I felt honored to know him. I want to share it with you verbatim because I think it shows there are really sincere, honest men out there who want you (transwomen) as their partner. I changed his name to protect his privacy at his request. Enjoy…

I’m Steve, I live in Spokane, Washington. I’m 43 years old and have been an Asian Fusion chef for the better of 18 years. My passion is surfing, cooking and hiking. I’m also huge in to foraging for edible mushrooms like Morels.

I have dated genetic girls in my teens up until i was around 25 when I was living in Fresno, CA. I met this Asian girl and we exchanged numbers. I took her out half a dozen times before even kissing her. I’m a hopeless romantic.

Things started to get serious and I was happy to be in a committed relationship. One night we decided to take a cab out to a few clubs where the night turned in to a drunken stupor. Hitting up 3 clubs total and after a dozen or so shots we took the cab back to her place.

The next morning, I awoke with the worst hangover ever. While walking to the bathroom, I glanced over at her on the bed and noticed she had some extra body parts that I didn’t know about.

I panicked, grabbed my clothes and out the door I went. Called a friend to pick me up and take me home. This was a lot to fathom for me because I have never considered myself gay, bi, whatever.

My phone rang off the hook for the next 3 days. Missed calls, voice mails, etc. When I finally got tired of the phone ringing, I picked up. She tried to explain to me how she was gonna tell me but was afraid I wouldn’t like her anymore. I was beyond angry yet listened to her plea. We decided to meet up a week later. I told her I had a lot to think about before sitting down with her.

The entire week I kept asking myself things like “am I happy when we are together?” “Does she make me laugh?” “doesn’t it feel right?” My answer to myself on all of those questions were yes. The hardest part is how I was raised. I was raised my a single mother who is Mormon. I went to Sunday school, and everything. I was always taught that 2 men together was a sin and all. I didn’t think of Victoria (a good name to use) as a man, In my eyes, I saw her as a woman.

So the day came and I went to a waffle house to meet her. When I walked in, she was there with 2 of her cousins. She thought I was gonna hurt her. I explained to her cousins and they left.

Long story short, I told her that I loved her for her, who she was inside and out. We were together for around 3 and a half years, we parted mutually.

Throughout the remainder of the next few years, I stayed single. When I moved back to Hawaii, I was sitting at the beach after surfing and this beautiful Hawaiian girl winked at me from afar. Again, long story short, she is my current girlfriend now. We had a very rough relationship. Broke up over a dozen times. But now that we got past our drama, we still remain together. We talk on the phone nightly as she is still in Hawaii. I’m either gonna move home or she is gonna move here. We have been together now for about 7 years and are planning to get married. There’s much more happiness to come.

June 12, 2016May 12, 2016

Find joy in your self-acceptance

Whether you’re in the closet or not, trans, transamorous or just know someone who is, the Transamorous Network’s first product offering can literally save a life (although that’s not why I created it). The Man’s Guide to Finding Your Transgender Partner, published just this week, is a tested and validated approach for not only your personal happiness, but for finding lasting love as a transamorous guy.

I’ve created the guide based on my personal experience wading through my own feelings, then successfully coming to acceptance and love of those feelings, then believing in myself (and my transamory) enough to act on them. The process I outline in this guide not only will connect you with the transperson of your desires (guaranteed), it will also help you find peace with who you are as a transamorous person.

Skies the limit from there.

The guide offers background on the important role transamorous men play in the unfolding of human society and why now is YOUR TIME to stand up and own who you are. It then offers step-by-step instructions using a unique time-tested and proven approach for creating a life of greatest happiness, a life which includes living with the transgender partner you’ve been looking for.

Interestingly, the Man’s Guide helps transwomen find their partner too, although it wasn’t created for that purpose. I’m working on a separate guide for that.

At almost 150 pages, the guide goes into great detail guiding you on a path specifically designed for you to step into your authentic being. Interestingly, it’s approach also addresses many complaints transwomen have about us. So it is an excellent guide for transwomen to buy and share with their potential partners.

A workbook with four worksheets accompanies the guide (at a small extra cost). Use it to clarify your desires, and the powerful stories you have created which shape every experience in your life, including your experiences with transwomen. These stories, the stories about you, about transwomen and more, are the biggest thing determining whether you will end up meeting your transgender partner, or miss her entirely.

In the guide:

I explain why it’s so difficult to find transgender women in your area – if you’re having trouble
If you’re not happy with the transwomen you’re finding, I explain that too
I explain why you are your own worst enemy in finding your transgender partner
I show you the step by step process you can use to have the transpartner of your dreams…guaranteed

It doesn’t matter if you’re in the closet and single, in the closet and married, or out proud and looking, the Man’s Guide to Finding Your Transgender Partner can work for you.

I’m looking forward to sharing this gem with men like me who strongly desire a romantic relationship with a transgender partner, but are having difficulty finding that special person. Or the transamorous man who is in a relationship and facing difficulties. There’s no reason any more to stew in frustration, act out of your insecurities, or wonder why you just can’t find The One. This guide will show you how to claim your manhood, live your life in joy, and in so doing transform the world for transwomen everywhere.

Find out more here.

June 5, 2016May 7, 2016

Don’t make them and they won’t

Happiness it the goal Word to this: “Life is too short to waste while you lock yourself away and pretend your past and your passions never existed. So get out there. Do you. And be a fucking weirdo.”

I really don’t like comparing people’s situation, so I’m breaking my rule right now: If you think being Transamorous is scary. Think about being a Brazilian Transwoman. I seriously doubt someone is going to kill you for your romantic attraction to Transwomen. Seriously.

You might lose your job. But if you got balls, sue those bastards for wrongful termination. Your friends might tease you, call you fag or worse. Fuck’em. They weren’t your friends anyway.

In most cases, no one really gives a shit who you love. Really. Not until you make them. You make them give a shit when you believe they give a shit.

So love who you want and get over the belief that other people’s opinions matter. I know, “better said than done when you aren’t at risk of losing your job, man.” Yeah, that’s true, I’m not. I work for myself. It’s also fucking irrelevant. What is relevant is what you want to believe because what you’re believing now is creating your life experience. Keep believing other people determine who you are. That’s what you’ll get. Keep believing being seen in public with a transperson is too much to (emotionally) bear. It will be. Keep believing your parents won’t approve. You’re the one creating that situation, not your parents.

Or…

Realize you are the one in control of your life experience. It’s a simple matter. But it doesn’t start that way. You create miracles on a moment by moment basis. You just don’t know you’re doing it. Once you do, you’ll discover a whole different world and how easy it can be to live there instead of living where you can’t be who you are.

There’s a world out there waiting for you. It’s a world where you can step out of your limitations and live the life you’re meant to, the one you chose to live before you got here. That life includes loving transwomen proud and out loud.

The only thing at stake is your happiness. It’s yours for the taking. Don’t know how to get it? I can show you.

May 29, 2016April 11, 2016

Ooh ooh, I LOVE this

There’s an article on Medium got my attention. Be A Fucking Weirdo, it’s called.

It’s really about creativity. But it’s so spot on for transpeople. It totally works for Transamorous Men. The gist is, you’re only going to give to the world what you came to give to the world by being all that you are, not that stuffed-into-a-box person you became after childhood. Let your freak-flag fly because you’ll love your self and give room for others to do that too.

As a creative, I love this kind of messaging. As a Transamorous Male, I love it even more. I love being on the edge, where humanity is taking steps into the known-unknown of its own becoming. Knowing I create my own reality, there’s no risk, no fear. Only Joy.

You can live this joy too. It doesn’t matter if you’re trans, or someone romantically attracted to transpeople. Joy is there for the having folks. You just have to apply a little more attention to the life you live in your “head” and a little less attention to the world around you….just for a while.

Then watch your world change right before your eyes. Promise.

Just love this juicy part. I think it speaks right at us:

If you try and turn yourself into a stranger, someone you don’t truly recognise when you look in the mirror and see grey where there used to be vibrant colour, sooner or later that’s going to hurt you. It will crush you.

You’ll start to lose any kind of value in your life and you won’t feel comfortable in your skin.

That’s no way to live. It’s no way to be. It’s no way to exist. When you start to lose the pieces of you that give you a fire for life, sooner or later that fire goes out.

I don’t want to be there when that happens to you. It’s sad, it’s hard and it’s painful. Hiding from yourself is the surest path to self hatred, self pity and a whole lot of missed potential.

I don’t believe it will actually crush you if you look in the mirror and see grey. I do believe that “crushing” pressure will – in some way – force you to realize what you really are and get on with being that! No risk. All joy.

That is, if you choose.

May 1, 2016May 1, 2016

Where’s your baby?

The infant kind. No, I’m not talking about you birthing a child. I’m talking about the baby you’re bathing.

Here: I’ll explain.

We all desire connection. One connection we most want, particularly as adults, is romantic connection. If you’re a transwoman, or a Transamorous Man, you, more than most really desire that kind of connection. As much as you may think you’re the independent sort, can do it on your own (men) or don’t need a man to validate you (women), if a transwoman (for the men) or a great guy (for transwomen) showed up today and asked you out, I highly doubt you would say no.

Both Transamorous Men and Transwomen therefore have a desire for what every person on the planet wants. So why are you having such a hard time at finding it? Probably because of your baby.

You see, when you’re complaining that there are no guys out there who will treat you right, you’re unlikely to find those that will. If you say to yourself, “there are no transwomen in my area” it’s really difficult to find one in your area. The more intensely you think these kinds of thoughts, the more opaque go your lenses. It gets to the point where there’s no way you can’t see anything but the reality consistent with your thoughts.

I talked recently with a transwoman who was a guest on our Podcast. Anyway, she had this to say about the pool of men out there who are “admirers” and how they treat transwomen:

…we are kept as secret “discreet” hidden fetish fucks by the majority of admirers who hugged on to hetero-mono-normative relationships while getting into the desserts while no one is looking…How they dehumanize us all while admiring us.

It’s certainly NOT “admiring” when a guy treats a transwoman this way. Not by my definition. And while speaker did acknowledge backhandedly that there are a few “admirers” who won’t treat her that way (did you catch that?), the majority is what she’s focusing on. This is what I’m talking about. Before she said this, she asked:

So are you asking for a trans-woman to go to your show and speak of rainbows and butterflies in how men date trans women?

If you’re wanting to meet a member of the minority who will treat you with dignity, then yes, I am asking not just our podcast hosts, but every transwoman who sincerely wants to have a real, lasting relationship with a great guy, focusing on “rainbows and butterflies.” Sounds counterintuitive, but this is the path to your joy and happiness, romance and a new life. You don’t have to do so if you’re a guest on our podcast, but you certainly must if you’re wanting a real-life connection.

If you’re thinking “all men” treat you a certain way, or there are “no men” out there who want you, or, that there are “no transwomen” in your area, then you’re throwing out the baby with the bath water. You don’t need “all men”. You just want one, or some number if you’re poly-oriented, or “non-hetero-mono-normative”. You don’t need every transwoman, you just need one. Focusing on the majority is focusing on the bath water. While you throw all those men out, you’re throwing out the baby too.

So I ask: where’s your baby?