There’s no doubt in my mind positive stories about life get me everything I want in life. Such a life sounds magical, like wishful thinking, as someone once put it.
But when Transamorous Network clients put the practice to the test, they produce exact same results. They’re guaranteed, of course, because nothing contradicts tenets upon which “Stories create reality” rests. Nonetheless, it’s so cool seeing when clients produce results that seem, well, supernatural.
My newest client came to the practice battling suicidal thoughts that had him in a panic about his life. He’d experienced several “tragedies” in the last two years. He also had resisted sexual desires he considered illegitimate. As a result of negative story telling about those things, he wound up considering life as not worth living. That’s when he contacted me.
Now, in only 11 sessions over 5 weeks, he not only is convinced his Broader Perspective is real, he’s creating mind blowing life experiences. These experiences convince him he’s revealing to himself his own version of the Charmed Life. Soon transgender women will show up wherever he goes, proving his Broader Perspective can create any experience. Including having transgender women show up where, apparently, there aren’t any.
My newest client realizing for himself that what I share is accurate.
Creating “supernatural shit”
Meanwhile, my client continues practicing stories which connect him with the Source of his Charmed Life: his Broader Perspective. The results astonish him.
Two days ago, for example, (at the time of this writing) this client and I had a great session. In it we talked about “tragedies” I touched on above. We started picking at them, turning around negative stories he told about them, so freedom from negative emotion could show up for him.
That night he texted me. I didn’t read it until the next morning. His text described quite an event:
My client expressed at the end of his text what many people believe. They believe this kind of thing belongs in the “supernatural” or random categories of experiences. But supernatural just means “beyond the scientific understandings of the laws of nature”. And nothing ever is random.
I say repeatedly: science is very limited in what it knows. But its believers and practitioners believe it is the only source of dependable knowledge. So when something shows up that exists as real, but outside science’s narrow scope, science’s believers and practitioners will assert the thing false because science hasn’t blessed it as true. 🙄
But most of what humans want to know lies outside the scope of science. Why is there so much suffering, why do I seem to not fit in, why do I like this sexual practice mainstream society thinks is deviant? These meaty questions science can’t answer. Or they try by turning things into diseases and mental disorders and then medicate the experiencer to numb them back into the mainstream where they’re less likely to rock the boat.
Experiences like my client had that night may seem supernatural. But they distinguish the Charmed Life from ordinary life. In that life, the Charmed Life, one experiences things like this all the time.
Revelry for revelry’s sake
I enjoy living the Charmed Life. Part of that joy involves showing others how to create their versions of that life. Doing that, clients and I revel in the results. We don’t revel because of the results though. We revel because reveling feels great.
And when we revel, we focus. By focusing on the revelry, we seed future experiences worthy of future revelry. Such as meeting one’s ideal match.
Nothing compares to the Charmed Life. My clients get it and want more. So do I of course. Want to cultivate your own? I got your back!
Everyone lives in the past. That seems like nonsense, but bear with me as I describe why that is. With just a little practice telling positive stories under their belt – about yourself and the world surrounding you – you’ll realize how accurate that statement is. But if you don’t see life through telling positive stories, “everyone lives in the past” sounds like nonsense.
But it’s not. The reason everyone lives in the past is because they, through science and traditional education, learn a screwy perspective.
We’re all taught “the present” is where we live. Things that happened “before” – that’s they past, we’re told. Things that haven’t happened – that’s the future. So people strive to live in the “present”, that place standing in between this commonly accepted past and future.
The best, and most satisfying way to live though lines up with breaking free of traditional, common knowledge. Stepping out of traditional, commonly accepted knowledge, turns hum-drum, ordinary, uninspiring lives into lives where all your dreams happen. Including dreams of finding your perfect partner, whether you’re transgender or trans-attracted.
Why change perspectives?
Getting that partner means changing perspectives. It seems we live in the “present”, in the “now”, our current experience. Birds fly about. Dogs bark. Cars whoosh by. Winds blow through trees. Yep, that looks like the present. From a universal perspective though, this is not the present.
This is the past. It represents stories – thoughts and beliefs – that have happened already. From a universal perspective, which is the same perspective your Broader Perspective has, humanity’s commonly believed “present” is not the present or the now. It is the past. It’s manifestED.
Why is this so important? How does one benefit by changing perspective?
It’s important because every human is a creator. They create by observing, then telling stories about what they observe. Conclusions, thoughts, desires, preferences…they all represent the same thing: Stories. Stories represent cosmic focus, which channeled, moves all of creation toward immediately fulfilling the story as it’s told.
That means, when a person looks at what people commonly agree is the present, which is past manifestation, and they conclude randomly about that, they create more of what’s manifested in a random manner. That’s why the world seems to mostly stay as it is.
All kinds of things happen in the manifestED version of life, which is the past. But it’s the manifestING version of life everyone knew they wanted to live in when they decided to become human. (Photo by Aditya Vyas)
“No” means “yes”
So if a person or a group doesn’t like what they see, and they rail against that, they create more of that. Pushing against anything already manifestED means giving attention to and focus on that. Again, attention begins the process of creation. It doesn’t matter if “attention” one gives sounds like “I don’t like this”. The person giving attention will get what they don’t like. That’s what they’re putting their attention on, after all.
The Universe doesn’t understand English (or any other language). It only understands vibration. Attention is vibration. It doesn’t matter if you look at something and say “I don’t want this”. Your vibration of attention, whether you like what you attend to or not, tells the Universe “give me more of this”.
This is why things like transphobia, TERF-ism, political division and such continue long after people want something better or different. It’s why JK Rowling continues doing and saying what she does and says. Everyone’s looking at what’s happening, then concluding in ways that create more of what they’re looking at.
In other words, they live in the manifested. The past.
Such things take so long to change because humans also stand opposed to what they want, even when they think they are standing in alignment with what they want. Those wanted things are coming and will manifest though. Which is why, often, future generations benefit from what previous generations wanted. While those previous generations die off in a state of not getting what they want.
Then what’s a better way?
People creating their lives consciously know the commonly known present moment is actually the past. They spend little to no attention there. Instead, they stand in the Unfolding Present, the Moment of Becoming, as Seth calls it.
What is the Unfolding Present?
The Unfolding Present is the no-space space from where the new, the manifestING emerges. It is the instantaneous now, each now-moment, fresh and full of creative vitality. And it’s a place one can experience with practice, just like they now experience the commonly-believed present moment, which is the past.
Now all moments contain creative vitality. But the Unfolding Present holds incipient creative vitality. It is the fountain from which creation springs. The Unfoldling Present exists someplace other than physical reality. Which is why telling positive stories is necessary. For the Unfolding Present is purely positive. Telling positive stories aligns one with that.
Figuring it out through play
This “space” that is the Unfolding Present is a state of being. It’s the state in which children dwell before they’re indoctrinated into “growing up”. Some call it the “flow state”, others call it imagination. Children call it “playing”.
How I prefer describing it is that place in which one knows one’s desires are done, and from that knowing, one relaxes into the IS-ness of being. Being there is obvious because that being-state feels WONDERFUL.
Figuring out how to be in that state is hard to grasp. Now you can see why something like The Transamorous Network is required. Usually people need assistance figuring out how to balance playfulness and what people think is “Adulting”.
But getting there is inevitable, because that’s the basis of everyone’s Broader Perspective state. And everyone’s Broader Perspective wants them experiencing the real present moment, the Unfolding Present or the Moment of Becoming.
Most don’t get there until they make their after-death transition. That needn’t be your fate though.
This illustrated guide offers a complete description of the Moment of Becoming, the actual present moment, and its relationship to All That Is. View the complete guide here on our sister site.
The Charmed Life
The reason your Broader Perspective wants you there is because it is from there that all you want unfolds. Whether conscious of it or not, the Moment of Becoming or the Unfolding Present shoots out of you, turning the ManifestED into something else.
For most people, “something else” looks like exactly what they’re looking at or focused on. Which is why the commonly accepted “present” looks stable. It’s also, as I wrote above, why social change happens slowly.
If one remains unconscious of this state, the Charmed Life remains concealed behind random creations, those manifestations springing from the Moment of Becoming that look a lot like everyone’s commonly accepted present or even the commonly accepted past as well as their persistent beliefs or stories. That’s why car makers, for example, often “renew” models they created for the first time decades ago.
Become conscious of this state though, and your foot comes off the brakes. A new momentum reveals itself, as well as a new way of perceiving. Then your Charmed Life reveals itself to you. From there, you discover, or rather rediscover, childhood wonder.
The world looks fresh, new, constantly. And, you also perceive your desires unfolding, including romantic ones. As you focus more there, you give attention to that.
As I wrote above, attention begins the creation process. So attention on what you want, instead of what you don’t, creates what you want, instead of more of what you have, which often is what you don’t want.
When you perceive that always happening, you live the Charmed Life while standing in its Unfolding. Nothing beats that.
The Charmed Life flows from those who practice telling positive stories. There, one discovers the Universe as a wish-granting jewel, through which life becomes easy.
A personal advanced example
This morning as I’m writing this, I’m thrilled with an experience I enjoyed coming from nonphysical. I came to at about 4 a.m.
Laying in bed, I perceived dreams wherein I taught myself an advanced version of what you’re reading about. In the dream, I felt deep satisfaction while standing in the “now” that contains all my current desires. Some of my desires are extraordinary. Some others represent experiences I know will thrill me as they manifest more.
But what I got in the dream state, then amplified while awake in bed, was standing in the fulfillment of those desires is the Moment of Becoming. And when I “stand” there, I don’t feel excitement, or thrill. Instead, I feel a calm, stable knowing. A knowing born from seeing my desires surrounding me, fully manifested.
This state of awareness makes me a match to my FULFILLED desires. Thinking about them as though I want them, as though I don’t have them, has me standing in the manifestED space. There, I can’t have fulfilled desire because if I still want them, I’m focused on the fact that they aren’t there/here.
“Standing where I want them” is where nearly every trans-attracted person and transgender person stands while trying to “find” their lover. Standing there makes it very, very difficult to get that person.
As mentioned, it takes practice being in a body while focused on and living in the Unfolding. But I assure you, the feeling that comes with being there, fully-tuned to one’s Broader Perspective and living witness to one’s Charmed Life is unmatched.
My experience with it lead me to offer what I’ve experienced to others. Now that a stable of clients produce their version of my results, their results confirm and amplify my own. Nothing matches this life, where my spirituality not only is my income, it also generates profound wonder of All That Is.
You can have this too
The upward spiral of the Charmed Life. Every Transamorous Network client eventually ends up here, guaranteed. (Illustration: My own work)
Two of my clients have begun the intermediate practice. They are blown away by experiences they had with earlier stages. Those stages and results they produced acted like positive feedback loops. I wrote about this upward spiral before on my sister site.
When a person discovers this practice, then practices it, early results are instant. But they’re not so convincing because humans get trained out of understanding what’s introduced. Nevertheless everyone gets them, which is why I offer my money-back guarantee.
But those results kick off a process that’s one-way and inevitable. In a short while for some, a while longer for others, those initial results turn into more obvious results.
Taught how to see these, the client gets excited. Then they want more results, so they do the practice more. More practice amplifies their results, which means more and more convincing results happen.
Before long, clients stand convinced the Charmed Life is real. And the more they reach for it, the more it reveals itself. In time, the client is ready for more advanced practice.
Everyone comes into the world knowing the Charmed Life awaits them. But few get there because they accept indoctrination from others who are oblivious to what’s going on.
That’s ok. It’s usually not fatal. But that does lead to mediocre lives.
PS – this post flew from my fingers after using the bathroom. I had felt the impulse come while in the bathroom and, because I practice following such impulses, I experienced delight watching this post flow. Thanks for reading it. I know you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed is manifested unfolding.
A Transamorous Network Client sent a text this week which offers a wonderful clarifying perspective. It shows distinctly why people settle in most areas of their lives, having given up on their dreams.
Some people push back when I say nearly everyone settles, especially when it comes to finding a partner. But when one understands how the Universe works, and why people act how they do while not knowing how the Universe works, one realizes why settling is indeed the greatest pandemic of our times.
And not just in relationships.
Why no one wants to settle but nearly everyone does
Wayne Dyer once wrote “you’ll see it when you believe it.”
That statement accurately reflects how the Universe works. A person who talks themselves into believing something, will, in time, discover that something to be “true”. No matter what it is, or how crazy others think it, a person who believes will see what they believe.
This is how the Universe works. It constantly reflects back to all of us what we believe. It does this so we can adjust our beliefs so they align with what we want, then receive what we want. No matter what that is.
Knowing this is power. For knowing this, one can create any reality one wants. All one needs is sufficient belief.
My artwork
But the universal experience of “emergence” (commonly called “birth”) is, when a person comes through a vagina, the experience of physical reality, combined with their forgetting who and what they are, creates bewilderment. In that bewildered state, the eternal being, now human, flails a bit for stability. Usually, that means leaning on others who came before. Initially that’s usually parents.
Indoctrination begins
But after a while it also includes teachers, what one sees on TV and peers. It also includes the immediate environment and personal experiences. Having forgotten their eternal nature and origin, for humans, physical reality trumps internal reality. As surroundings take precedence, it appears that reality exists separate from the perceiver. That’s not ever the case. But that’s what it looks like.
So the perceiver begins to “believe what they see”, not realizing what’s really happening; that they are seeing what they believe. Much of what they see and what they learn from others, who are equally if not more out to lunch about what’s really happening than new arrivals, appears to be that the world is random, scary, limited and requires struggle and pain.
In that world, one must “get real”, stop living youthful fantasies, get a job and carry their own weight. This applies not only to earning a living, but to every other aspect of life. Including relationships.
So the result of all this flawed thinking is people give up on their dreams. Or they adopt mediocre goals from others, or parrot what others do. And since mostly everyone has “gotten real” and given up on their fantasies, it’s easy to see why people would settle for something less than their dreams.
No wonder so many live ordinary lives. And no wonder so many settle in relationships. That deftly explains the divorce rate as well.
The “dream” nearly everyone trades their authentic being and desires for. No one comes through a vagina explicitly wanting this. But nearly everyone compromises, then wonders how they got here.
My client’s experience proves the rule
“Alonzo” stood in exactly that place as he shared his thoughts this week. He texted a defense of his limited beliefs while not realizing that’s what he did. What he thought he did was explain “what’s true”.
But what’s true is whatever someone believes long enough. And usually, that means what someone adopted from others, from statistics, or observation, none of which has anything to do with getting what one wants.
Here’s what he texted.
My client “Alonzo” defending limitations inherent in his beliefs. Beliefs born from too much observation and not enough creation.
I know many, many trans-attracted men share similar ideas/beliefs because such men contact me regularly and say similar things.
But again, these things they say have no relevance to what they want. But they do create realities wherein what they want doesn’t exist. It’s no wonder then that they experience frustration and loneliness or, worse, hopelessness in finding their match.
Thinking such thoughts/telling such stories prevents such men from having what they want. What happens next is they settle, choosing to be with a cisgender woman, who can’t possibly (and shouldn’t) satisfy their desires. Then both the woman and the guy live a dissatisfying relationship until they separate in anger, frustration and resignation.
I’m not making this up. Two past clients lived that example. So I know many more have as well.
Some transgender women tell their version of these same stories. Which is why they live sad, lonely, frustrating lives. They’ll settle for a female partner, even though they prefer a male one. Or they go through dating “hell” online, where they kiss many, many frogs. Hell, all kinds of people tell such stories. Transgender women aren’t the only ones trying to solve their relationship dilemmas through online dating.
So let’s look at my client’s text, unpack these beliefs, then create new ones more consistent with what’s wanted. It’s not hard. And anyone can do it. Because everyone came into the world with this ability.
The way out of mediocre
Statistics offer a convenient analysis of a population. But every statistician will tell you that the closer to an individual member of that population, the less accurately that analysis will be. Statistics also don’t explain anything. They just describe a group of things or people based on measurable information.
Of course, we’re not using statistics when referring to how humans create reality. In this case, such things as stats become 100 percent irrelevant. Individual life experience is 100 percent subjective, meaning, no two people experience identical experiences. Nor do they ever conclude similarly.
What’s more, experiences an individual might have depend 100 percent on what they tell themselves. That’s the only thing – their beliefs – creating their experience.
So the problem with the belief that transgender women “…make up 0.6% of the population, and far fewer than that actually are physically attractive to me, are mentally stable, and like the type of sex that I do…” Isn’t that it’s untrue. It may be true.
But is that a truth that helps this guy or hinders him? Obvious it’s the latter. Because looking at this statement he can’t help but think something like “the odds of me meeting a girl I’ll like are infinitesimally small.” That thought will quickly cause feelings like hopelessness, discouragement, pessimism and despair. None of these will lead this guy to his match.
But there is a way out. If you’ve read this blog regularly, you know what it is. It starts with telling better stories.
Finding your lover needn’t be frustrating. But it is when you’re telling stories that suck and you base your chances on the odds. (Photo by Adrian Swancar)
Don’t listen to the odds
The problem with Alonzo’s first belief is, it limits in the extreme what’s available. Again, if he believes this tiny sliver of the population is the only sliver available, he can’t possibly feel anything other than hopelessness. Especially if he has no idea how to connect with that tiny group.
More important though is this. When a person believes this way, they limit in the extreme what the Universe can do for them. The Universe doesn’t give a rip about that statistic. It is a wish-granting jewel. Everything is possible through it.
But the creation process is controlled by the creator. Not the Universe. So if the creator doesn’t believe what he or she wants, he or she can’t enjoy what’s wanted.
Since Alonzo believes these stats as “true”, what the Universe delivers is what he believes. Again, the Universe can’t deliver something we don’t believe is possible, which is why Wayne Dyer makes his assertion that you will see it when you believe it. Alonzo doesn’t believe he can meet his match. So he doesn’t.
The power of Alonzo’s text, isn’t the statistics. It’s his belief in the statistics. That’s what creates the “truth” of the numbers. Not the “fact” that the numbers are true.
Nearly everyone believes they need a huge group of single people from which to sift through and find their match. But no one needs a large pool. Few people want to simultaneously have a relationship with more than 1-3 people. Most people want only one person. Do you really need a pool of people from which to get that one?
Well, you do need a target rich environment if you have crappy aim! That way your chances are better of hitting the target. But since everyone creates their reality by what they believe, or what stories they tell, each person can precisely and easily move through situations where they meet that one person who knocks their socks off.
But if that person believes their match is hard to find, then guess what? They’re hard to find.
My client says he’s leaving the door open. But is he really? No, he’s not! The door is barely cracked open if he thinks his match exists among only .6 percent of the population. Meanwhile Universe stands ready with more than 100 ways Alonzo can meet her. Alonzo can’t access any of them though believing as he does.
Instead, he could tell stories which cause hope, optimism and even positive expectation to pour out of him. Such stories will automatically make him feel enjoying his desire is possible, even easy. Here’s what some might sound like:
How I feel when I tell this story doesn’t feel good
But I must be here because I can’t be anywhere else right now
I haven’t always felt this way. I remember other times I felt better
That means I don’t have to be stuck here
I can change what I think and believe
Since I can change it, I can accept that I believe this right now
I like thinking that I can change my thoughts/stories
That I can change my stories feels better than feeling stuck
Since I can change my stories, I can accept the stories I currently have.
These stories are a start. The first step always involves getting to a place where one accepts where they are, instead of resisting where they are. Anyone unhappy with where they are is resisting where they are.
Taking the next step
The next step: create stories that dispel or dislodge stories that create not-so-good feelings and replace those icky feelings with better-feeling ones.
There may be few out there, but I only need one
I can tell better stories than those I’m telling
I would prefer better-feeling stories
Maybe it won’t be as hard as I think
Maybe there are transgender women in my town
I really don’t know because I really haven’t looked
That feels true
I like the truth of that. Really, I haven’t looked
I can accept that I haven’t tried looking
Accepting that feels better than accepting how hard I thought it was before
What if I don’t have to try looking?
I like thinking that I don’t have to try
Perhaps there’s hope for me
I like feeling hope
Hope sure feels better than powerlessness
Maybe she is out there
It’s nice feeling some hope
So in a few brief, deliberately chosen statements, a person can go from powerlessness, to relief, to acceptance, to incipient belief…maybe even hope. And from there, it’s all down hill (in a good way), so long as the person doesn’t reinvest in old beliefs.
Stories that prevent you from getting the love you want often sound “true”. But that doesn’t matter! What matters is, is the story you’re telling tune you to what you want? These sure do not! Unless you want to remain single and unhappy. (My artwork)
Get on the upward spiral
Getting out of the momentum of disempowering stories feels hard until a person tries. But feeling powerless, hopeless or pessimism can change in an instant, or at most, a few minutes. Look around you though.
Likely people who don’t know what you’re reading surround you. So they look at the world, draw conclusions about what they see, see realities they create consistent with that, then say “yep, see, I’m right. The world is this way.”
Just like Alonzo.
The minute they tell themselves they’re right, they lock in that conclusion as a belief. Then the world ends up that way. A trans woman only meets chaser men. Men can’t find transgender women who aren’t whackos or prostitutes.
For example, Alonzo told me in our subsequent session that he “hasn’t seen a single trans woman in my area.”
“Of course not,” I said. “You can’t when you have such strong beliefs in the way creating a reality consistent with ‘there are none in my area’.”
It can be challenging convincing someone creating a reality they don’t want, that the reality they do want is as easy to create as that reality they have, the reality they don’t want.
But once someone learns how the they, their Broader Perspective and the Universe work together to create reality, I find these people start on a positive upward spiral leading to everything they want.
All my clients eventually enjoy the upward spiral of positive stories. The better stories they tell, the better they feel, then the better life gets. Then they want more of that, so they tell even more positive stories and life gets even better. (My artwork)
Get what you want
They can’t not get what they want because their Broader Perspective and the Universe want them to have it. The only reason they don’t have it is because they’re in the driver’s seat. This Universe and their Broader Perspective can’t give them what they want when they aren’t focused on that. The Universe and their Broader Perspective only gives the person what they attend to. Which is why beliefs are so important.
Beliefs are how humans attend to what they want. The problem is, most humans use their beliefs to attend to what they don’t want. Which is why so many don’t get what they want. Or they get a smattering of what they want, among a crap ton of things they don’t want.
Getting what’s wanted is supposed to be what’s happening here on Earth. The heaven everyone thinks comes after death is right here on Earth. But each person must create it for themselves. No one does it for them. Not even the Universe or one’s Broader Perspective.
Joy in life comes from figuring out how to do that then doing it deliberately. And the more one does it deliberately, the more joyful they become. Then their world must reflect back to them that joy, because that joy comes from joyful thoughts and thoughts create reality.
It’s not hard to do any of this. Everyone is doing it right now, today. They’re just doing it in the wrong direction which leads them to a life of settling.
Transamorous Network Clients increasingly find the more positive stories they tell the more their life becomes the Charmed Life I write about.
Everyone lives a Charmed Life. But when a client regularly tells stories that feel bad, those beliefs turn the Charmed Life into something else. Such stories make life blasé, boring, ho hum, kill-me-know kinds of lives.
But positive stories make even negative-appearing situations turn out fantastic. I write about many situations from my life experience that prove this on my other blog. A couple examples can be found here and here.
Today’s post perfectly illustrates how Charmed Lives turn bad situations into blessings. This one comes from a Transamorous Network transgender client we’ll call Natalie.
Evidence in unlikely places
Since beginning her practice, Natalie immediately saw powerful evidence proving how telling positive stories works. So she immediately doubled-down. She wanted even more evidence that positive stories create reality. Of course, the Universe delivered more and more as Natalie refused to tell any stories that didn’t feel good. As a result, she moved through her world as if on cloud nine.
In the midst of another manifestation I’ll write about later, Natalie created yet another extraordinary experience of abundance and surprise. And it all started with a crime.
One evening she went to her favorite bar. There she met a young man with whom she connected. She felt strong resonance for this person. Why, Natalie didn’t know. They weren’t a dating match. He was far too young. What this person brought with him though was an excellent experience which made Natalie an even stronger believer in “stories create reality”.
Natalie and this young man, let’s call him Rocco the Rascal, for reasons you’ll understand in a bit, hit it off immediately. At some point the two hit it off so well, Natalie felt she wanted to take this young man under her wing. She felt like Rocco was a long lost cousin or something, she said.
They spent the rest of the evening at the bar chatting and connecting. Then, as the barkeep started closing the place, Rocco asked Natalie if he could borrow her car, a late model Mercedes. He wanted to buy some weed, he said.
By this point, Natalie was super high-flying in her vibration. She felt happy, at ease and joyful, she said. Nothing indicated anything bad on the horizon. So when Rocco made his request, Natalie thought “sure!”
Then she had a brief negative thought: “I shouldn’t let this guy borrow my Mercedes. I don’t really know him!” But she brushed it off with a more positive story, whipped out and handed over her keys.
Rocco never came back to the bar. That was a Saturday.
The following Tuesday, Natalie came to her session extraordinarily happy. She had a great week, she said. Then she hesitated just a bit before introducing what happened Saturday.
“Perry, I feel kind of stupid about what I’m about to tell you,” she said.
“Well that’s not an empowering story to tell, is it,” I said.
“You’re right.” Natalie said. Then she told me the story. But as she told me the story, her mood changed. She went right back to a high-flying, powerful place. She was excited about how she felt, what she did, and, even though it was Tuesday and she still had not heard from The Rascal, she was eager to see how this would result in something really positive.
To be honest, I was quite taken by her positivity. Here she was with no car for three days, and she still found positive stories to tell about what happened.
Crime reveals abundance
Then Natalie changed the subject. She told me about the mechanic she takes her cars to. She described him as having a penchant for finding great deals on cars. Natalie said she talked to him about what happened, after filing a police report. Natalie told her mechanic she needed another car, but didn’t care what kind, so long as it got her from a to b.
“Girl!” Her mechanic said. “You belong in a Mercedes. I’m going to get you another one. Don’t you worry about it.”
The following Tuesday Natalie and I met in session. I was high flying as usual and Natalie was over the moon, bursting at the seams to tell me what happened.
Turned out her mechanic delivered on his promise. He found her a late model Mercedes at a reasonable price that Natalie actually liked better than the one Rocco took. She was so pleased with how this turned out.
Then, later that same week, Natalie called me with an update. The police recovered her other Mercedes and it was in fine shape. Now Natalie had two cars. More than she needed. She marveled about how this worked out perfectly for her. Now she could sell her older Mercedes and keep the newer one, which she loved.
Even though Natalie felt great at how this all turned out, she still couldn’t believe how it turned out. She got everything she wanted, including more evidence she asked for, in this crazy cool way showing the Universe always works out in her best interest.
Seriously, how many stolen cars get recovered? Some sources say the chances of getting a stolen car back are less than 50 percent!
When you tell positive stories consistently, life becomes the Charmed Life making everything in life all good!
Pick thoughts that feel good
For Natalie, what ordinarily might look like a terrible thing turned out amazing. And, she showed herself that when she follows her Broader Perspective, which communicates with her constantly, she needn’t worry about the results because the results will always come out great.
The Charmed Life is there always. But when one learns how to see it, it shows up in abundance. And the more one remains Positively Focused, the better life gets. Everyone on the planet today came here expecting that. But it’s easy getting knocked off track.
The key to staying on track is choosing a focus that includes only those things that feel good to look at. That includes thoughts you think. Do that and the world becomes your oyster. And you – and only you – get to say what the pearl inside looks like.
What’s your version of abundance look like? That’s the Charmed Life. Where the world bends to your will, life is fun and abundance is normal.
The Transamorous Network offers free 1:1s for trans-attracted men or trans women to chat with us and learn whether what we offer can help them live more fulfilling, happy lives.
Most times those conversations offer insight and satisfaction for everyone involved. In rare instances though, something else happens.
That’s what happened this morning. This conversation offered insight into what many trans women experience in their attempts to fulfill their relationship dreams. It also sheds light on why trans women degrade men who naturally find them attractive.
A classic connection
Not many schedule a Free 1:1. Especially since we implemented a $25 refundable fee to dissuade men who schedule a free session (perhaps while drunk or high) then don’t show up.
We know what we offer the trans community benefits that community. Over time we’ve spoken to many, many trans-attracted men, trans women and people who don’t fit in those categories, yet express trans-attraction. Many such people thank us for what we do. But seeing our clients transform their lives prove what we offer helps.
Then there’s “Josh”.
Josh got on his free 1:1 this morning. Hispanic and in his 60s, Josh has been single for 18 years. Before that he was married to a cis woman, who divorced him after she discovered him cheating with another cis woman.
Like many trans-attracted men, Josh’s past includes experiences where he learned about and enjoyed sex with men at an early age. He also enjoyed and still enjoys wearing clothing seen by society as “Women’s clothes”. He wears nylons and garters under his male clothes and loves wearing negliges at night.
Josh married a cis-woman because, in his words, he was “battling what he really wanted” which included expressing submissive characteristics in bed.
And also, like many trans-attracted men, Josh first encountered trans women through porn. This happened in the last year, and since that discovery, Josh found himself irresistibly trans-attracted.
Marriage often, but not always, can smoke screen what’s really going on for both parties. Which is why they often end in divorce.
Stereotypes prove the rule
Many trans women encounter men like Josh. Josh is in his very early stage of the chaser to transamorous journey. This was clear from the first few seconds. He referred to trans women as “shemales” and “transexuals”. He fixated on the idea that they had penises and expected a trans woman would be happy being with a man who dresses in women’s clothes.
Josh expressed fantasies of him “doing” the trans woman and then her “doing” him. When I asked what else he liked about trans women beyond his ideas of what sex would be like, he offered very little.
“I like that I could take her out, wine and dine her,” he answered. “Then we’d come home and cuddle on the couch, with me in my lingerie.”
He mentioned nothing about what this trans woman might think, whether she might be intelligent, thoughtful, generous, kind, interested in world events, or interested in having children. Josh didn’t consider the amazingly admirable fortitude needed to go through what trans women do to align with what they know they are. In other words, he didn’t see his future partner as a person.
Still in the closet
When I gently explained more dimensions to trans women exist beyond where he focused, I felt him almost immediately become defensive. I explained how “shemale” and “transexual” were not the best terms, which he accepted. Then, changing the subject deliberately, I asked him what his friends and family thought about him wearing women’s clothes.
“Oh they don’t know,” he said. “They’d be devastated.”
“Why does that stop you from being who you authentically are and sharing that with them?” I asked.
He said he didn’t think he was being inauthentic by not sharing all of who he is. So I explained to him that so long as he wasn’t out and about about who and what he really is, and what he really likes, finding a match to what he wants will present challenges. I also suggested the way he talks about trans women indicates he isn’t quite ready to meet someone. Trying to do so, I suggested, would produce unhappy outcomes.
That’s when the conversation shifted for Josh.
Being on the down low (DL) indicates for the down low person that he harbors stories creating a reality he’d rather not have. But the DL person doesn’t know that, which is why he’s getting the results he gets, including feeling of shame and insecurity. (Photo by Kristina Flour on Unsplash)
Why women meet men like Josh
“Who do you think you are?” he responded. “You don’t know me.”
“I’m going off of what you’ve told me,” I said. “And what hundreds of men and trans women have told me.”
Josh didn’t like that. I suggested he had a lot of preconceived ideas about trans women. Those ideas, I tried to explain, would cause him more difficulty than satisfaction because he’s not a match to what he thinks he really wants, which is a loving relationship with someone who happens to be trans.
Josh told me I was not making sense, that I was not listening. Moments later he hung up.
Clearly these kinds of men exist. They are the kinds of trans-attracted men trans women meet a lot of the time. They aren’t ready to meet anyone seriously because they’re still trying to figure themselves out.
Experience often presents the best “figuring out” opportunity. Often that means meeting trans women via sex worker venues, or through dating sites. And, usually, that means men like Josh meet women who match who Josh is being.
That means a trans woman on equal story footing. Such trans women, like Josh, are unclear about what they want, insecure in their own self-acceptance, and harbor inaccurate stories about dating, what’s possible and what they want. In many ways, they’re transgender versions of Josh. So they’re perfect matches.
The best way, believe it or not, to meet your ideal match is becoming that which you’re wanting. That means seeing the best in everything you experience. That’s what telling the best stories is all about. (Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash)
Trans women don’t need Josh
Just because men like Josh exist doesn’t mean such men need be part of a trans woman’s experience. But they will when a trans woman harbors stories which make them a match to such men. If you’re trans and you think Josh is a “tranny chaser”, for example, that story tells me you’re on track to meet your Josh.
And yet, such men and the women they match with benefit each other. Through experiences with each other, a trans woman and such a man learns what stories need attention. It’s good knowing that because, if they don’t know what stories need attention, neither person fulfills their dreams. Particularly when it comes to relationships. Which is why many compromise.
So while men like this comprise many a trans woman’s nightmare, they can also be the best thing that happens to a trans woman. For in the experience the woman and the man stand in opportunity. Seizing that opportunity guarantees a new experience with better matches offering better opportunity.
Better matches don’t come guaranteed. People sometimes never get over their negative stories. That doesn’t mean you can’t be the exception because they’re always are. The question is: are you?
