Sometimes transgender women, and trans-attracted men, will say to me something totally contrary to how reality works. Then I tell them how reality works. When I do, such people come back with all kinds of reactions.
They call me arrogant. Or claim my assertions are “absurd”. They’ll say I’m blaming the victim. In other words, they’ll double down on their stories about how reality works. Even though the way reality works for them causes them great dissatisfaction. In other words, they blame reality for situations they find themselves in.
Not my clients though.
The thing is, my clients learn how to take control of their lives, so reality responds to their commands. Meanwhile those double-downing on reality being objectively real keep creating the same experiences over and over. Little do they know they are creating that world, a world telling them they don’t control it. So their stories show up as “true” for them.
A reader of my blog-double downing on his disempowering stories.
And it is the truth for them because their stories about reality create the reality that confirms their stories.
So in reality (LOL) they are controlling their reality. They’re just controlling it in a way that creates a perception that they’re not. And they do it over and over so it becomes “true”.
It can be different
Which is why I have my clients examine their belief constellations. For it is our constellations of stories or beliefs that create our reality. Not what we want. Changing what’s in the constellations changes realities we create. The more we tell stories about what we want, the more “what is” shapes to what we want. Tell stories about what we don’t want and we get reality containing that.
I don’t blame people who double down on their ignorance. There’s no blame to be spread. Everyone is empowered and the Universe stands ready to bend to everyone’s command. Being in command though requires thinking differently. That starts with examining how one already thinks.
Abraham echoing what my clients discover. The discovery sparks mystery and joyful revelations too. Who doesn’t want that?
This belief constellation analysis is easier said than done. Which explains the benefit of doing so with someone who knows how. Often our most dominant stories, those with the most creative power, run under our conscious radar. So it can be hard to see what’s going on in our minds.
But uncovering what’s happening in our minds opens whole new worlds of possibilities, mysteries and joyful discoveries. It literally makes every dream available. And that makes the effort worth putting in.
That’s why my clients feel so inspired and empowered. Once they see what they want showing up everywhere, inspiration takes over. After a while, they become more bold in their aspirations.
It’s waiting for us all
My own aspirations now lie far above what most believe possible. Yet, I already see evidence they are manifesting. Anything is possible. Only stories limit that.
And that’s why I really enjoy this practice. Practicing it with others amplifies my own joy. Some men say being with a transgender woman represents the “best of both worlds”. Well, I disagree. The the best of the best of worlds is realizing I am deliberate creator, creating the reality consistent with my most bold desires and helping others do the same.
The best of what life offers is ours. All we need do is believe it is. Then it becomes that. Then that becomes our life. The delicious Charmed Life I write about.
I love it when a past transgender or trans-attracted client writes me to share results they’re still getting from telling positive stories. It’s a fringe benefit I enjoy: seeing the power of “stories create reality” in past clients.
People who understand and then implement that line get positive results that keep on coming.
That’s why I’m not surprised when clients write sharing their continuing wonder at how great their life keeps getting. When they share, their evidence amplifies my own. I get charge reading their ongoing results as much as I enjoy getting my own results.
When we tell only positive stories about our experience, we start seeing the world differently from most other people. One client for example, shared how, before her practice, her life mainly was composed of worry, dissatisfaction and boredom. She felt some contentment every now and then. But she knew nothing like what she discovered after she changed stories she told about life. She said nearly all her friends still consistently live the way she once did.
That confirms my experience. Most people just don’t know how great life is. But a joyful life can show up for anyone. All it takes: a willingness to deliberately focus. Today, this client is loving life. She’s finding herself consistently in wonder and amazement. For her, boredom, worry and dissatisfaction no longer show up. She’s gotten so much reward, she’s now an advanced practitioner and finding even greater levels of wonder.
The upward spiral is real y’all
On my other blog, I wrote about the positive feedback loop clients get from this practice. Life just gets better and better. By telling positive stories about life, life becomes a virtuous upward spiral. Gradually, subjects we care about improve. And the more they improve, the more they improve.
That’s because of the positive-feedback-loop nature of the practice. Meaning, continuing improvement births even more continuing improvement. And no limits exist to how improved life gets!
A Positively Focused practice (telling positive stories) creates an unending, increasingly joyful life.
So when a past trans client recently wrote me, I wasn’t surprised at how great his (he uses he/him pronouns) life keeps getting. Instead, I congratulated him. Consistently telling positive stories takes some doing. Especially if life isn’t going so well at first. After a while though, it’s just automatic. It’s automatic because that’s the way our Broader Perspective wants us living. And from there, all we desire becomes possible.
But a peculiar thing clients experience surprises them. It’s how they see how different other people experience life. Which is what this client shared:
It’s so great hearing from clients living joyful lives. I love that I’m a part of that change in their lives. It’s a fringe benefit I enjoy from helping others find their connection to the life many think impossible. Especially transgender and trans-attracted people.
The thing is, everything is possible. The only thing limiting life are stories we tell about life. Want to change your stories? Contact me.
We love it when transgender women write to us with vitriol. When they double down on their disempowering stories, we know they’re creating more of what’s making them miserable. Their words have nothing to do with us.
Let’s forget the fact her assumptions about me are totally wrong. Being a non-binary person of color would argue for a LACK of privilege, were I concerned about such things.
But since I’m not, I’d rather focus on the rest of her comments. For such comments say way more about Madonna than the thing she criticizes so vehemently.
You can’t have it both ways
When transgender women make such comments, they’re shooting themselves in the foot. Such a person struggles finding happiness and a life wherein everything they want happens effortlessly. To such people a default joy is literally impossible. Telling such stories creates that reality for them. Then they say what Madonna said above.
Again, telling negative stories only reinforces whatever experiences cause one to make such comments. What’s really happening though is, the person first creates the story. Then they experience circumstances confirming the stories. But they don’t know this is happening. They think experiences come first, then they conclude from that experience.
And that’s why they create realities in which they see everyone enjoying more privilege than them. Accept for those who share similar stories.
Strangely enough, everyone is over-privileged. All humans enjoy so much privilege, they can use that privilege to create anything. Including lives so oppressive they think they enjoy no privilege at all.
Stories create reality. There’s no way around that. But misery loves company. Which means, the more miserable a person is, the more misery they’ll experience. Then, when someone shows them a happy alternative, that person will double down on their misery instead. For them, their experience is true. Which it actually is. But it needn’t be.
Some are buying though
Despite this woman’s wrong assertion, transgender women are “buying” what we offer. As a result they find empowering careers, free themselves from suicidal thoughts and experience increasing success at love. Most importantly, they accept themselves more.
Same with trans-attracted men.
We don’t need every one of them buying. But for every one who does, that’s one more person realizing, owning and living a life wherein all they want, happens effortlessly. Who won’t feel perpetual joy experiencing that?
So we know what we offer works. Some aren’t going to get it though. Like Madonna here, they’ll keep on telling negative stories. I prefer playing with transgender women and trans-attracted men who want the perpetual joy we offer.
In any case, here’s what you need to know from that research: Not a fucking thing!
Why on earth do we need to know what other people think about us? WE DON’T. We don’t need to know anything about what others think about us! And here’s the great news about that: The less we care, the more of what we want we will get. Including that perfect love many of us want.
It’s not our business
When transgender and trans-attracted people care about what others think about them, they unwittingly put the kibosh on everything they want. Nothing we want will come to us if we care about what others think. Doing so makes us feel like shit. And when we feel like shit we’re not a match to what we want.
Caring what other people think about us usually generates negative emotion in us. That’s intentional. Why is it intentional? Because the negative emotion tells us what we’re doing isn’t what we should be doing. Caring about what others think about ANYTHING we’re doing, or anything we want, makes us a match to their stories instead of our own.
And if those people think we shouldn’t exist, or they think we’re going to hell or whatever, then those negative stories instantly become ours. Unless we seek other’s approval – and I don’t know why anyone would want that – adopting other people’s negative stories serves us not one whit. When we do do that, we feel like shit. Feeling like shit tells us something important. It says “what you’re thinking about is going to get you more of what you’re thinking about. So knock that off!”
Besides, what can you do about what others think about us? Nothing at all. So it’s better to focus on our own business and let other people have their opinions.
What other people think about us is none of our business. It’s way better living life focused on ourselves, going for what we want and getting that.
How do we do that?
By telling better and better stories about ourselves. Telling better and better stories about the world around us. And choosing empowering stories about what we want instead of unwittingly adopting ones we don’t want.
Keeping focus pure
Why do we even care what others think anyway? Think about that. I mean, I get it. When little, parents indoctrinated us into thinking we needed to please others over pleasing ourselves. Teachers and education in general did that too.
But we’re not little anymore. We’re all grown. And so it’s time to start deliberately charting our course towards the life we came to live.
That means living our life our way. Not living the way society or parents or Christians or Americans think we should live. Their stories are their business.
It’s way more important that we care about why we care about what other people think of transgender and trans-attracted people than what their opinions are. That’s because the story behind why we care misguides us. It’s time to do something about that story. Start by giving up caring.
If we keep our focus pure, meaning, we tell stories only about what we want and not about what we don’t, things we want come to us fast. They don’t come instantly though. That’s because most of us have been telling stories opposed to what we want. Especially about love.
But over time, pure focus will replace that old momentum. Then, things wanted will start flowing in so fast, it will amaze.
It’s meant to be
That’s already happening. We all are allowing so many things we want, I’m surprised so many transgender and trans-attracted aren’t seeing that. Then, again, I’m not surprised. Because awareness is a powerful thing. If I’m not aware that all I’m wanting flows to me constantly, then I can’t see it flowing constantly. Not seeing that, I get cranky or impatient, which slows things down more.
If I develop a chronic criticism about myself, about life, about transgender women or about being trans-attracted, then life becomes depressing.
Thankfully, my life flows with all kinds of abundance. Which is why I’m sharing this and other posts I share.
LIFE CAN BE FUN. AND IT SHOULD BE. Because that’s the way it’s intended.
That includes every transgender person and every trans-attracted person getting all they want in love. We needn’t struggle with that or anything else. But we do struggle when we tell stories contrary to the story “life can be fun”. Or when we worry about what others think about us.
Everything we want is flowing to us. But if we’re now aware, if we can’t see it, then it appears as though that’s not happening, even though it is. (Photo by Fuuj on Unsplash)
Let life love you
Caring about what others think about trans-attracted and transgender people doesn’t serve us. All it does is put us on a trajectory that includes more crappy feeling experiences.
Aren’t you tired of feeling crappy? How long do you need to feel crappy before doing something constructive about it?
Drinking, smoking weed, or wallowing in complaints about life aren’t “constructive”. By constructive I mean changing your stories. Then being on the lookout for the change your changes stories create. Then celebrating that, thus building momentum in the direction of what you want. Once momentum happens, what you want will come. Including love you think is impossible.
Turn your attention to things you care about. Then tell positive stories about those things. What should you care about?
How great it is that I’m transgender or trans-attracted.
That it’s wonderful being alive at this time when so many others like me exist out loud. Seriously, have you seen this new thing called Instagram?
Care about how fantastic it is that medical technology can do what it does for some transgender people.
It’s also amazing that more men and women are coming out as trans-attracted, thereby making the dating field more plentiful for us all.
Find your positivity. Love life and watch life love you back. Give up caring what others think. Then everything you want will flow.
I once contemplated suicide. This was long before I discovered my transamory. In high school, I dated one of the prettiest, most popular girls. One day, she quit dating me. Her parents didn’t approve apparently. Drawings I made of her and I engaged in sexual acts, which her parents found, didn’t help my case…
So much did her parents disapprove that they dropped the bomb, in person…on my mom. They showed up at my home one day and, in no uncertain terms, told mom I wouldn’t see their daughter any more.
My adolescent heart broke. Not knowing what I know now, I thought my youthful world ended right there. What was the point of living without her?
Obviously, I didn’t take my life. It was a momentary blip. The next day, the experience past, I moved on. So did my ex, apparently.
That’s why I understand the dismal place people find themselves where suicide seems logical. Whether trans, trans-attracted, cis or hetero it doesn’t matter. Getting to the place where suicide makes sense sucks. But it needn’t suck. Nor need it be fatal.
Instead, it can be the best launching pad to a better life.
Emotions as divining rods
Suicidal thoughts feel scary. Especially when they sneak up on you. But do they though? Are people contemplating suicide happy one moment, then, voila!, they want to die?
Of course not. Suicidal thoughts usually come to ordinary folk after a long period of gradual, increasingly negative thoughts. As such, suicidal thoughts resemble any other thought and its associated momentum.
Thoughts trigger emotions. Nothing else does that. Anyone can figure this out by watching where their emotions come from. The common refrain that “X made me” sad, or angry or jealous is a lie we tell ourselves constantly. No one makes someone else feel anything. How someone feels depends on thoughts that person thinks about what they’re thinking about. That’s the only source of emotions.
Emotions are crucial. They help tell us many important things about every choice we’re making. Some of the most powerful thoughts humans think happen underneath our awareness. It’s not that they’re “unconscious”. It’s just that the thinker is oblivious to how they’re choosing to think about what they’re thinking about. Emotions, therefore, act as an immediate feedback mechanism for our thought-choices. Not just those we choose “unconsciously”, but ones we consciously choose too.
Emotions also tell a person what’s coming in the future. Yes, they’re a kind of divining rod, accurately and constantly predicting the future before the future comes.
But since most people don’t know this, they end up feeling chronically anxious, worried, doubtful, insecure and depressed. Then they’re frightened when suicidal thoughts show up. Thoughts they could avoid completely had they used their emotions, humans’ natural divining rod, appropriately.
Most people don’t understand emotions’ purpose. So they can’t fully benefit from their emotions. (Photo by K. Mitch Hodge on Unsplash)
Negative thoughts start it
Negative thoughts, and their associated emotions, essentially tell the thinker “stop how you’re thinking or you won’t like what comes next!”
Suicidal thoughts do the same, but at volume 10. They say “Dude! Wake the fuck up! You’re heading somewhere you’re not going to like!” That’s why thoughts about killing one’s self feel so awful. If someone thinking about suicide looks back across their “thinking” history, they will find a succession of increasingly negative conclusions about life, themselves or some situation. They’ve been thinking thoughts on a variety of subjects that are grossly inaccurate. And they’ve felt increasingly awful-feeling emotions along the way.
So suicidal thoughts usually indicate a strong momentum of negative thinking (long held beliefs) leading to feeling unworthy, powerless, hopeless and depression; all emotions signaling immediate action is needed.
People generally panic or they double down when such thoughts happen because they don’t know how they happened or where they come from. So they don’t know what to do when they show up (that’s powerlessness), which exacerbates their feeling out of control (that’s helplessness). That triggers more fear and powerlessness and lack of control. See how that momentum builds up?
But such thoughts can be reversed with very little effort.
A client who had suicidal ideation found near-complete relief from such thoughts after one session.
What happens after the act
A hopeless or depressed person who kills themselves ends up where everyone else who dies ends up. They return to where they came, a place I call “nonphysical”. There, they remember everything they forgot when they became human. They remember they are an eternal being. Their awareness expands back into the Broader Perspective that guided them while in a physical body. They realize there’s far more to what they are than life on earth.
They also return to the pure positive, joyful energy being that is their natural state. In that state they also realize something else. They get that their exit from the life trajectory they chose was premature. They also see that, like a bad dream, experiences they feared were of their own making. A path they created that, had they kept walking, would have improved.
Human life experience offers so much rich and satisfying opportunity. It literally changes the being experiencing it in profound ways. It does the same for everyone involved.
The experience offers such profound opportunity, a being standing in nonphysical finds it irresistible. That’s why so many humans and other living creatures incarnate.
Post-suicide, these realizations deeply move the person. They remember the profound reason they chose human existence. That reason compels them so completely, they find themselves drawn right back into another body to resume the process they began. The process leading to profound transformation and elevation.
This doesn’t happen against their will. The happening happens because the being, the eternal being, knows what this experience offers. And it wants that.
Life offers profound transformation and elevation. (Photo by Liam Pozz on Unsplash)
A temporary fix at best
So suicide offers at best a temporary respite from a chronic series of interpretations that ran counter to what really happened. Instead of seeing their life unfolding in a beautiful, perfect, divinely-timed unfolding designed by them, they saw it as an awful experience over which they had no control.
Such distorted interpretations usually don’t lead to suicide. Otherwise far more people would kill themselves than do. Suicide happens less frequently because, most of the time, human consciousness, guided by its Broader Perspective enjoys an underlying propensity towards “good”. Inner guidance steps in well before the train gets near careening off its track.
Transgender people who commit suicide are no exception. Pain they experience before the act is self-generated. Taking one’s life releases the person from pain. But not from the joyful path they took on. Suicide represents a short detour before returning to finish what they started.
In the midst of suicidal thoughts, killing one’s self seems like a good idea. But it only prolongs the inevitable. (Photo by Kristina Tripkovic on Unsplash)
Suicidal thinking’s great potential
Killing one’s self looks bad and wrong and scary. But it’s none of these things. At worse, it’s a temporary detour. At best, it offers a reset for the eternal individual. A chance to recover that awesome awareness state from which the human journey began.
Ultimately, all paths lead to fulfilled desire and expansion of All That Is. No one need experience emotions leading to suicide. Such thoughts usually resolve themselves with just a little attention paid to creating other thoughts aligned with one’s Broader Perspective.
People thinking about killing themselves possess tremendous energy. Such people can transform then channel that energy towards their desires. In other words, a person contemplating suicide enjoys tremendous potential.
I help people learn to channel that energy. I show them how to improve their story telling. After that anything becomes possible. That’s what life holds for everyone. Unlimited possibilities available to all. That’s what makes life so worth living.
I think anyone would enjoy that. Why wouldn’t they? Because most people don’t realize how good life can be. I love helping folks realize life’s goodness.
Thinking about committing suicide? Get help by dialing 988 in the US.
