Self-love Acceptance - The Transamorous Network

April 25, 2023March 12, 2023

Yet Another Transgender Woman Gets It

Oh boy, I’m attracting extraordinary transgender women!

I love it when I connect with transgender women who get it. The trans community is NOT homogenous. Not in any respect, but especially when it comes to opinions about many things, including being transgender.

Many transgender women hold views totally different from those who complain about men, their lives, the world around them and how poorly that world treats them. To the trans-attracted men: I suggest focusing on these transgender women. Not those who blame you for their experience. Trust me, you’ll find them everywhere.

These kinds of transgender women see where their views of the world shape the world they live in and experiences they have. Still others get how pointing fingers at men for being chasers perpetuates negative experiences transgender women experience with such men.

I will say this over and over: men struggle with their trans-attraction. That struggle strongly resembles processes many transgender women go through on their way to self-acceptance. Processes that help both parties get over their fear, their confusion, and shame. In other words, both parties have a lot in common. In fact, both parties share extremely intimate experiences. Experiences that can form the basis of intense, intimate, deep, loving relationships.

Another joyful connection

I had the pleasure of communicating with yet another transgender woman whose insight and maturity allows her to see things other transgender women can’t or won’t. I loved reading her response to a story I posted recently. Her response increases my knowing that these kinds of women exist. Women who share perspectives I have. Perspectives which say being trans is a unique, special and world-changing experience. And those having those experiences are worthy of veneration.

In the story I posted not long ago, I shared my personal views about transgender women. I wrote about what they represent (to me) and what that representation means for the world. Kari responded to that story. She gave me permission to use her real name.

The two comments she made are gold:

A brilliant and accurate analysis of what I wrote in my original story

And her perspective shared subsequently.

I’m heartened that transgender women exist like Kari. Women who can hold two different views and accept both. I also appreciate her self awareness. That self awareness shines through her self-image. A self-image through which she can see flaws in beliefs transgender women hold which vilify trans-attracted men. And ideas that try to put all transgender women in the same box.

There’s a lesson here guys

The transgender community is as diverse as any other. Transgender women exist who will meet any preference. They don’t all think the same. While there are transgender women who want to live as if they’re cis, there are transgender women who eschew that paradigm. And if you’re interested in a trans woman who will satisfy your preferences, you can find them.

Finding them however, means you must stop putting all your eggs in the wrong basket. Instead, focus on what you want to the exclusion of all else. Let them come to you. Let the Universe bless you with your perfect match. You do that by becoming a match to what you want. That happens if you focus exclusively on what you want.

Meanwhile, the girl you want, who meets your every preference, will get her own impulses. She’ll be inspired to places where you are. And before you know it, you’ll find yourself in her arms. And her in yours. Need help figuring this out? Then contact me.

And feel free to read some of Kari’s writings on Medium.

April 4, 2023February 10, 2023

The Best Way To Improved Transgender Lives

Many trans-attracted men and transgender women have a hard time with this because it sounds so unbelievably “absurd”. And yet, there’s ample evidence supporting the notion. The notion that the fastest way to a better life, whether it’s finding a partner, having family accept us or finding more freedom in society, comes from first accepting how life is now.

Now, some transgender women who come to this story will push hard against this. Their experience seemingly shows them the best way to change a life situation is to push against it, resist it, protest about it.

But one of life’s many paradoxes is, it is the accepting of what is that makes change happen faster. And, in every case where change happens, that’s what makes it happen. Even when it looks like that’s not happening.

An old client of mine found this to be the case. After a l-o-n-g period of her family disowning her, she recently IM’d me with delightful news:

A former client realizes a long-held desire. Her family had disowned her. But now, after practicing what we offer at The Transamorous Network, she’s manifested a long-held wish.

Make peace release resistance

Persistent negative experiences, especially involving other people, remain persistent because we focus on trying to change the experience. But the problem with changing the experience involves why we want to do that. Typically, humans want change because they don’t like what they have. Trans-attracted men feel shame about their trans-attraction, for example. They don’t want to feel that awful emotion. So they try changing what they are.

But if they make peace with their trans-attraction, “shame” gets replaced with “being ok with what is.” That making peace eliminates one’s focus on the unwanted experience. Eventually “being ok” allows the person to explore their bogus stories about trans-attraction. Stories like “I must be gay” or, “my family will disown me”, under dispassionate scrutiny can then turn into more empowering stories.

In the absence of resistance, change will show up. Especially when the person focuses on what they want, while being ok with what they have.

That’s part of the practice I share with my clients. As simple as it seems, it has powerful, enduring force. Force born of what creates and maintains the Universe.

Future improvement

The same goes with transgender women. If we want love from men, love that looks like what we want, we must stop looking at experiences that don’t match that. We also need to stop complaining about those experiences. Complaining is focus. Negative focus. Negative focus amplifies that which we complain about. Since the Universe gives us what we focus on, not what we want, the Universe in this situation will give us more to complain about.

But when we come to peace with experiences we’re having and revel in the reality that we’re creating those experiences, we embrace our power. And there, future experiences MUST look different. Especially if we focus on what we want, instead of what we don’t.

Abraham, one of my spiritual guides, putting it plainly. Improvement happens speedily when we accept our present.

We must stop complaining. Focus on what we want instead. Appreciate, or at the very least, accept what we have. For the change we want can’t happen so long as we resist what we have.

But in the acceptance, we come into eventual new futures. Futures aligned with everything we want. It’s the Charmed Life I write about on my other blog.

Having trouble not complaining? Give me a shoutout. I can help!

March 14, 2023January 20, 2023

The Best Life Is Available To All, Trans or Trans-attracted

Sometimes transgender women, and trans-attracted men, will say to me something totally contrary to how reality works. Then I tell them how reality works. When I do, such people come back with all kinds of reactions.

They call me arrogant. Or claim my assertions are “absurd”. They’ll say I’m blaming the victim. In other words, they’ll double down on their stories about how reality works. Even though the way reality works for them causes them great dissatisfaction. In other words, they blame reality for situations they find themselves in.

Not my clients though.

The thing is, my clients learn how to take control of their lives, so reality responds to their commands. Meanwhile those double-downing on reality being objectively real keep creating the same experiences over and over. Little do they know they are creating that world, a world telling them they don’t control it. So their stories show up as “true” for them.

A reader of my blog-double downing on his disempowering stories.

And it is the truth for them because their stories about reality create the reality that confirms their stories.

So in reality (LOL) they are controlling their reality. They’re just controlling it in a way that creates a perception that they’re not. And they do it over and over so it becomes “true”.

It can be different

Which is why I have my clients examine their belief constellations. For it is our constellations of stories or beliefs that create our reality. Not what we want. Changing what’s in the constellations changes realities we create. The more we tell stories about what we want, the more “what is” shapes to what we want. Tell stories about what we don’t want and we get reality containing that.

I don’t blame people who double down on their ignorance. There’s no blame to be spread. Everyone is empowered and the Universe stands ready to bend to everyone’s command. Being in command though requires thinking differently. That starts with examining how one already thinks.

Abraham echoing what my clients discover. The discovery sparks mystery and joyful revelations too. Who doesn’t want that?

This belief constellation analysis is easier said than done. Which explains the benefit of doing so with someone who knows how. Often our most dominant stories, those with the most creative power, run under our conscious radar. So it can be hard to see what’s going on in our minds.

But uncovering what’s happening in our minds opens whole new worlds of possibilities, mysteries and joyful discoveries. It literally makes every dream available. And that makes the effort worth putting in.

That’s why my clients feel so inspired and empowered. Once they see what they want showing up everywhere, inspiration takes over. After a while, they become more bold in their aspirations.

It’s waiting for us all

My own aspirations now lie far above what most believe possible. Yet, I already see evidence they are manifesting. Anything is possible. Only stories limit that.

And that’s why I really enjoy this practice. Practicing it with others amplifies my own joy. Some men say being with a transgender woman represents the “best of both worlds”. Well, I disagree. The the best of the best of worlds is realizing I am deliberate creator, creating the reality consistent with my most bold desires and helping others do the same.

The best of what life offers is ours. All we need do is believe it is. Then it becomes that. Then that becomes our life. The delicious Charmed Life I write about.

Ready for yours?

March 7, 2023January 15, 2023

The World Is So Much Better For Transgender People

Holy smokes. What I saw in December blew me away. I’m only publishing this now because I schedule posts eight weeks in advance. But it’s no less amazing. It’s a testament to the unfolding perfection of All That Is and how All That Is supports transgender people. Even when it looks like it doesn’t.

A long-time cisgender friend prompted this post. He’s a strong progressive cause ally, including supporting the transgender community. We’re kindred that way. That’s why I wasn’t surprised to get his text. But I was surprised by what he shared.

He shared a link to a video. My friend does this infrequently, but frequently enough that I don’t click on links he sends me right away. But with this one, I did. Because the thumbnail compelled me.

The video promotes a whiskey product. It’s one of the best cause marketing commercials I’ve seen. And I should know about cause marketing because in a previous incarnation, I worked in PR and Corporate Social Responsibility. Take a look:

A beautiful story beautifully told

The commercial begins with an elderly couple. While the husband sits in a chair, the wife wanders about the house on the phone. Unbeknownst to the wife, the husband has a predisposition for women’s make up. He goes into the bathroom, locks the door and tries practicing with lipstick…but his results frustrates him.

Several scenes indicate the man’s depth of interest. It’s almost as if the guy questions his interest in such a thing. Nonetheless, he ends up getting pretty good at applying makeup to his own face.

But then, during the holiday season, the extended family shows up for familial celebrations. Among the family members is 26-year-old “Alvaro”. Who we now understand as Alvaro’s grandfather, looks at his grandson and has a hunch. He invites the young person into the bathroom wherein the two have an intensely personal, intimate moment.

The two exit the bathroom and, to everyone’s astonishment, Alvaro is now “Ana”. The entire family is in tears and Ana is heartily welcomed.

The rest is amazing commercial history.

“Transgender”: Here to stay

Thirty-plus years ago when rap music wasn’t what it is today, the famous Quincy Jones produced a song called “Back on the Block”. Among samples he used in his production was a statement by Rev. Jessie Jackson. Towards the end of the song, which is a medley of various rap genre’s, Jackson is sampled saying:

“Now I would – I would contend that ah –
The rappers – rap is here to stay”

Thirty years later, rap is still going strong. Jackson was right.

In the same way, we are seeing something similar with transgender people. So many successful transgender people now exist. Not only are they in entertainment, they also are in politics and business and mental health. They’re authors, speakers, teachers. They’re everywhere.

And more are coming in to the world all the time.

It makes being a transgender person in the world much easier. More than ever, transgender people can find support in abundance. The fact that a major liquor brand is on board with transgender people is astonishing. Especially so as the ad J&B produced is in Spanish. The language of a culture that, in some places around the world still considers being gay a crime. And being trans something worse.

The world is so much better for transgender people. I only hope that more transgender people discover what my transgender clients discover. That is that the only thing keeping a transgender person these days from discovering and then living a joyful life are the stories such a person tells, which creates something different from the life they want.

The world is increasingly on the side of transgender people. Of course, it’s always been that way. But today it’s more so than ever. What a great time to be alive Transgender or Trans-attacted!

If you’re life isn’t going great and you want it to, I can help.

February 14, 2023December 31, 2022

A Transgender Match Exists For Every Type Of Guy

It’s easy finding our match when we understand that our stories determine who we’re meeting. This applies whether we’re transgender or trans-attracted.

But in this post, let’s look specifically at trans-attracted men looking for a transgender partner. What I’m sharing today applies equally to transgender women looking for a partner. In short, stories create reality. And when our stories contradict what we want, we can’t get what we want, no matter how hard we try. Not until we do something about the stories we’re telling.

For example, many trans-attracted men look for transgender women who will top them. This is an extremely triggering thing for many transgender women. But not all of them.

The reason some transgender women get triggered so strongly when guys express this legitimate desire, makes sense when we understand it. Some (not all) transgender women tell extremely disempowering stories about the penis that came with their male body. Such stories create equally extreme negative emotions. The psychological community calls these negative emotions “dysphoria”.

But all that’s happening is the woman is confronting all the stories in her head about her body AND what she knows herself to be. She’s focusing on what she doesn’t want (the penis) instead of what she wants. Doing so, she amplifies the negative experience. So uncomfortable the amplification can get, that she literally might want to cut her penis off. Or commit suicide. Or she might vomit any time she has a penis-stimulated orgasm. Like this transgender woman explains:

Self-loathing meets itself

Meanwhile, trans-attracted guys experience similar situations. His negative stories about his attraction for transgender women causes in him equally strong negative emotions. So instead of embracing what he wants and thinking about what he wants in a positive way, he will amplify his own discomfort. Do that long enough and he, too, will consider suicide.

Yet, the guy can’t deny his attraction because it is an innate part of who he is! Just as the transgender woman can’t escape the fact that she is trans. Even if she’s 100 percent deep stealth. See where this is going?

The transgender woman focuses on her hatred of her penis. The guy equally struggles with his trans attraction. At the same time, both want a relationship. So what should we expect happens? Of course, these two people will find each other because they are perfect matches, reflecting to each other their own lack of self-acceptance combined with their matching desires. It’s not rocket science!

It’s no wonder the guy’s intense negative focus causes him to express, to the trans woman, however clumsily and even insensitively, his desire to be topped or to suck a dick. He has no consideration for how the trans woman might be feeling about her penis. He’s too preoccupied. But get this: the transgender woman equally has no compassion for what the guy is going through either. For the same reason.

Both parties are oblivious to the other person’s experience. It’s no wonder a firestorm happens when these two come together. It’s no wonder neither has compassion for the other. Still, they are a perfect match! But that match is based in extreme negativity.

How to meet that better match

Getting out of this conundrum is simple. The answer for both parties is getting out of preoccupation with negative focus/stories. Then, instead, focusing on what each party wants. Not what they don’t want. This is harder to do than to explain. But every client I work with eventually gets there.

Meanwhile, trans-attracted male bottoms, plenty of women out there LOVE their penis. For your viewing pleasure, listen to two of them talk about it themselves. Here’s the first. Here’s the second. Both are categorized on YouTube as “age restricted”. So I can’t embed them here. By the way, there are plenty of men who prefer post-op women. Men who will fuck them like they fuck cis-gender woman. There’s a match for everyone, in other words.

Everyone can enjoy anything we want. It starts with sorting out our stories, then focusing on stories supporting what we want, instead of focusing on stories about what we don’t. Do that and our lives improve dramatically. Then eventually we’ll meet our matches. No exceptions.

But if we wallow in stories about things we hate, dislike, wish weren’t true, etc., we get stuck.

Feeling stuck? Let’s get you unstuck.