Self-love Acceptance - The Transamorous Network

March 7, 2023January 15, 2023

The World Is So Much Better For Transgender People

Holy smokes. What I saw in December blew me away. I’m only publishing this now because I schedule posts eight weeks in advance. But it’s no less amazing. It’s a testament to the unfolding perfection of All That Is and how All That Is supports transgender people. Even when it looks like it doesn’t.

A long-time cisgender friend prompted this post. He’s a strong progressive cause ally, including supporting the transgender community. We’re kindred that way. That’s why I wasn’t surprised to get his text. But I was surprised by what he shared.

He shared a link to a video. My friend does this infrequently, but frequently enough that I don’t click on links he sends me right away. But with this one, I did. Because the thumbnail compelled me.

The video promotes a whiskey product. It’s one of the best cause marketing commercials I’ve seen. And I should know about cause marketing because in a previous incarnation, I worked in PR and Corporate Social Responsibility. Take a look:

A beautiful story beautifully told

The commercial begins with an elderly couple. While the husband sits in a chair, the wife wanders about the house on the phone. Unbeknownst to the wife, the husband has a predisposition for women’s make up. He goes into the bathroom, locks the door and tries practicing with lipstick…but his results frustrates him.

Several scenes indicate the man’s depth of interest. It’s almost as if the guy questions his interest in such a thing. Nonetheless, he ends up getting pretty good at applying makeup to his own face.

But then, during the holiday season, the extended family shows up for familial celebrations. Among the family members is 26-year-old “Alvaro”. Who we now understand as Alvaro’s grandfather, looks at his grandson and has a hunch. He invites the young person into the bathroom wherein the two have an intensely personal, intimate moment.

The two exit the bathroom and, to everyone’s astonishment, Alvaro is now “Ana”. The entire family is in tears and Ana is heartily welcomed.

The rest is amazing commercial history.

“Transgender”: Here to stay

Thirty-plus years ago when rap music wasn’t what it is today, the famous Quincy Jones produced a song called “Back on the Block”. Among samples he used in his production was a statement by Rev. Jessie Jackson. Towards the end of the song, which is a medley of various rap genre’s, Jackson is sampled saying:

“Now I would – I would contend that ah –
The rappers – rap is here to stay”

Thirty years later, rap is still going strong. Jackson was right.

In the same way, we are seeing something similar with transgender people. So many successful transgender people now exist. Not only are they in entertainment, they also are in politics and business and mental health. They’re authors, speakers, teachers. They’re everywhere.

And more are coming in to the world all the time.

It makes being a transgender person in the world much easier. More than ever, transgender people can find support in abundance. The fact that a major liquor brand is on board with transgender people is astonishing. Especially so as the ad J&B produced is in Spanish. The language of a culture that, in some places around the world still considers being gay a crime. And being trans something worse.

The world is so much better for transgender people. I only hope that more transgender people discover what my transgender clients discover. That is that the only thing keeping a transgender person these days from discovering and then living a joyful life are the stories such a person tells, which creates something different from the life they want.

The world is increasingly on the side of transgender people. Of course, it’s always been that way. But today it’s more so than ever. What a great time to be alive Transgender or Trans-attacted!

If you’re life isn’t going great and you want it to, I can help.

February 14, 2023December 31, 2022

A Transgender Match Exists For Every Type Of Guy

It’s easy finding our match when we understand that our stories determine who we’re meeting. This applies whether we’re transgender or trans-attracted.

But in this post, let’s look specifically at trans-attracted men looking for a transgender partner. What I’m sharing today applies equally to transgender women looking for a partner. In short, stories create reality. And when our stories contradict what we want, we can’t get what we want, no matter how hard we try. Not until we do something about the stories we’re telling.

For example, many trans-attracted men look for transgender women who will top them. This is an extremely triggering thing for many transgender women. But not all of them.

The reason some transgender women get triggered so strongly when guys express this legitimate desire, makes sense when we understand it. Some (not all) transgender women tell extremely disempowering stories about the penis that came with their male body. Such stories create equally extreme negative emotions. The psychological community calls these negative emotions “dysphoria”.

But all that’s happening is the woman is confronting all the stories in her head about her body AND what she knows herself to be. She’s focusing on what she doesn’t want (the penis) instead of what she wants. Doing so, she amplifies the negative experience. So uncomfortable the amplification can get, that she literally might want to cut her penis off. Or commit suicide. Or she might vomit any time she has a penis-stimulated orgasm. Like this transgender woman explains:

Self-loathing meets itself

Meanwhile, trans-attracted guys experience similar situations. His negative stories about his attraction for transgender women causes in him equally strong negative emotions. So instead of embracing what he wants and thinking about what he wants in a positive way, he will amplify his own discomfort. Do that long enough and he, too, will consider suicide.

Yet, the guy can’t deny his attraction because it is an innate part of who he is! Just as the transgender woman can’t escape the fact that she is trans. Even if she’s 100 percent deep stealth. See where this is going?

The transgender woman focuses on her hatred of her penis. The guy equally struggles with his trans attraction. At the same time, both want a relationship. So what should we expect happens? Of course, these two people will find each other because they are perfect matches, reflecting to each other their own lack of self-acceptance combined with their matching desires. It’s not rocket science!

It’s no wonder the guy’s intense negative focus causes him to express, to the trans woman, however clumsily and even insensitively, his desire to be topped or to suck a dick. He has no consideration for how the trans woman might be feeling about her penis. He’s too preoccupied. But get this: the transgender woman equally has no compassion for what the guy is going through either. For the same reason.

Both parties are oblivious to the other person’s experience. It’s no wonder a firestorm happens when these two come together. It’s no wonder neither has compassion for the other. Still, they are a perfect match! But that match is based in extreme negativity.

How to meet that better match

Getting out of this conundrum is simple. The answer for both parties is getting out of preoccupation with negative focus/stories. Then, instead, focusing on what each party wants. Not what they don’t want. This is harder to do than to explain. But every client I work with eventually gets there.

Meanwhile, trans-attracted male bottoms, plenty of women out there LOVE their penis. For your viewing pleasure, listen to two of them talk about it themselves. Here’s the first. Here’s the second. Both are categorized on YouTube as “age restricted”. So I can’t embed them here. By the way, there are plenty of men who prefer post-op women. Men who will fuck them like they fuck cis-gender woman. There’s a match for everyone, in other words.

Everyone can enjoy anything we want. It starts with sorting out our stories, then focusing on stories supporting what we want, instead of focusing on stories about what we don’t. Do that and our lives improve dramatically. Then eventually we’ll meet our matches. No exceptions.

But if we wallow in stories about things we hate, dislike, wish weren’t true, etc., we get stuck.

Feeling stuck? Let’s get you unstuck.

February 7, 2023December 31, 2022

Why Millions Of Men Are Now Trans-Attracted

It’s no wonder to me that many more men are coming out trans-attracted. Transgender women complaining about the lack of such men can’t see what I see though. That’s because their beliefs about such men make such men invisible. Even though the women are surrounded by them.

Such women are like a previous trans-attracted client. He thought no transgender women existed in his city. That is, until he changed his beliefs. If trans women complaining about finding a man changed their beliefs, they’d find available men everywhere.

Instead, many transgender women go on complaining about their lack of prospects, when there are literally millions of trans-attracted men out there. And more are coming out nearly every year. The data back this up.

That’s what I’m going to talk about in this post. That and why so many men are turning out trans-attracted. By the way, this also means there are more trans-attracted people coming out who are not men. That’s right, more women are declaring themselves trans-attracted too.

What this all means is, transgender women have no justification for complaining about being single or not finding a partner, if they want one. The only reason that’s happening is because they don’t believe having a partner is possible.

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

The proof is plain

A Medium.com writer turned me on to statistics showing a massive increase in people – especially men – interested in transgender people. Now, the jaded, the frustrated, the perpetually complaining transgender women are going to read the following and scoff. And when they do that, they’re just amplifying their own beliefs. Not saying anything about what’s really happening.

So if you’re one of those women, dear reader, CHECK YOURSELF! You are the one preventing yourself from finding a partner. No one else. That’s because no one else is creating your reality but YOU.

Ok, here’s the evidence.

According to one of the largest porn sites on the internet, searches for transgender-explicit content is now the seventh most popular content searched for. Searches for “trans” grew by 141 percent in 2021. Views of such content grew by over twenty percent, placing that content among the top ten content viewed on the site.

Dr. Laurie Betito, a clinical psychologist, sex therapist and director of the Pornhub Sexual Wellness Center, says many explanations support the increase.

“Increasingly, marginalized sexuality is coming out of the shadows,” she says. “We are talking about sex more, we are more free to explore our sexual fantasies with less judgment attached. Our sexual curiosity is coming out of the closet. When it comes to Trans individuals, we are now seeing more and more people who are portrayed in mainstream media, thus making trans porn more intriguing, more available and more accepted.”

There’s another reason for the increase too. It has to do with the men.

Burgeoning self-acceptance

More men are discovering their irresistible attraction to transgender people. Some of these men are shocked and dismayed by their discoveries. But that’s no matter. Other men go straight to the transamory phase of the Chaser to Transamorous Journey.

But most of them must go step-by-step through their journey. They must cope with and gradually overcome their initial shock, shame, and embarrassment. Yes, their titillation as well.

For just as many transgender women go through their “slutty vixen” stage, men go through their version of that on their journey. So, yes, many of these men are watching porn. They’re also exploring. They explore just like transgender women who first explore their sexuality as women.

I don’t understand why transgender women don’t understand this, bring more compassion to the table, and thus, find themselves with a partner. Then again, I do understand. Because I talk with such transgender women all the time. It’s hypocritical to negatively judge men for their journey when so many transgender women go through their versions of the exact same journey.

Self acceptance is a problem a lot of humans deal with which keeps them from enjoying what they want. Especially in relationships. (Photo by Caroline Veronez)

The Universe answers all

There’s another reason why so many men are discovering the wonder and beauty and value embodied by transgender women. It’s a reason Dr. Betito doesn’t acknowledge though. Probably because her profession doesn’t consider it a real thing.

When anyone has a desire, the Universe will immediately answer it. It will instantly fulfill that desire. But to receive the fulfillment as their reality, those who desire it must let it in.

Transgender women have been asking for men to love them since they’ve been around. Their asking has increased in recent years. In addition, more people, especially young ones, are declaring their authenticity as trans.

Well, all that declaring and asking, the Universe is answering. There MUST be men willing to love trans women if the women are asking. And the women are asking. Thus, men MUST SHOW UP in response. That’s what we’re seeing.

So, transgender reader. If you’re without a partner, you have no one to blame – if you must blame someone – other than the person in the mirror. Your complaints about the men you meet keep you meeting those men. If you want something different, you can’t keep doing the same things.

I suggest you try something different. If you’re ready, I can help. Did I mention my results are guaranteed ?

January 31, 2023December 23, 2022

Here’s Why People Love My Advice

There are a lot of people benefiting from advice I give here at The Transamorous Network. Every week, I get positive responses to stories I published. But this week takes the cake. It’s so confirming reading comments like the one I’m about to share.

It really makes the vitriol I get sometimes worth it. I started this blog to help transgender women and trans-attracted men find the love they so desperately want. The main thing I do with clients is show them the number one place they will always find consistent love.

That is from themselves.

But the great thing about finding love there is that once they find that, the world around them will reflect that back to them. That’s why people love advice I give. It resonates with people’s core awareness. Many aren’t as connected to that. But those who are find my advice powerfully resonates.

It’s great when I read comments from people getting inspiration from what they read on this blog. Let’s take a look at the most recent example (at the time of writing this).

Self-acceptance is everything

If we don’t accept ourselves, the world will reflect that back to us. We’ll meet all kinds of people amplifying our stories. Not this person though. This person gets it. Despite having characteristics society says are “disorders” this person is coming into loving who and what they are. I’m glad to see The Transamorous Network content contributing to that.

Check out what they wrote:

Hi! [sorry if I use any offensive terms, I’m just now learning]
Just wanted to say these articles are really honest and thought-provoking. It’s a lot to think about. I want to talk about my reasons for loving trans people.

I, too, am a male at the end of a long cishet relationship (18 yrs!). I never hid my attraction to trans people or cheated (we have an open relationship, communicate well), but I’m finding that I’m actually pansexual, with the strongest attractions to transfem people (femboys in my case) and also cis women. I could fall for the right guy, too. I need more, and it’s not just a kink or a passing interest.

I myself have a fair deal of gender dysphoria, and I want to explore that with someone who knows where I’m coming from, you know?! I want to be more genderfluid and learn to be more feminine, express myself and my emotions better, change my appearance somewhat (I’m more dysphoric than dysmorphic, but still). I want to give and receive, be dominant and submissive, and learn to express positive emotions, not just the negative [read: masculine] ones.

As a male, most socialization and role models are toxic. Also, being in a cishet relationship is what society pushes one toward. It’s easier to coast along and just be unhappy, or to fall victim to the sunk cost fallacy once you’ve started a relationship. It’s especially easy to be stuck when you’ve had the example of parents or family members just being miserable and staying together anyway, as I have.

It’s all quite the minefield, with bi- and pan prejudice/erasure being a thing, as well as poor reaction to male-presenting people who love trans people. I also believe that polyamory would be best for me, thanks to my neurodivergent needs (auDHD) and the desire to try many different kinds of relationships. Perhaps I’m playing on hard mode, as it were. But I finally know who I am, and that at least feels good. It simply took my life disintegrating for me to question who I was in the first place.

And it’s not just the men. I get similar comments from trans women too. Like this one:

Let’s get radical

Let’s stop trying to fit in others’ boxes. Tear off labels people try putting on us. There’s no joy there, only disappointment. And even if we do fit in the box, that box is just going to get tighter as what we are expands. And besides, anyone who tries controlling people, in order to feel better, will not feel better in the end. Political strife we see in the US shows that clearly, doesn’t it?

So let’s get radical. Let’s give up all that shit and just accept who we are, wherever we are. For transgender people and trans-attracted people our self-acceptance is a revolutionary act. It literally revolutionizes what it means to be human.

And that is our collective purpose. Stop trying to fit in. Find our own places, take up space, then watch the world shape around us as a reflection of our self-love. That’s the message The Transamorous Network offers. It’s great when folks get it. They are exactly the kind of people I like working with and writing for.

Are you such a person?

January 3, 2023September 4, 2023

Men Are Changing For The Better

I love how All That Is is taking men in the direction of their evolution. It’s great seeing them struggle with limiting identities that, frankly, could have been cast away long ago. Those same identities are what can make being trans so dangerous and being trans-attracted so shameful.

But since we’re all eternal, men, like the rest of us, have all the time in the Universe to evolve. Still, some men are kicking and screaming while the Universe drags them into a better future. A future better for the rest of us, including trans and trans-attracted people. And for the men too.

This is not to say all men have been problems. Many men, are early adopters who embrace more fully all that they are, already find themselves feeling better about our continued evolution. They’re allies, partners and loving and supporting parents.

It’s the men in the middle of the bell curve who still struggle. That big bulge (pun intended) of hyper-masculine men in the middle of the curve are finally getting a clue. Many aren’t liking it. That’s why we have MAGA.

But women and people of color are liking it. So are some transgender women. And some men.

That’s another thing I love about All That Is. It happens simultaneously in the the now, creating more of that which I want to see. There, every person, every living thing, gets exactly what it needs. Every moment serves our collective evolution. It’s so odd that humans fight that evolution. Meanwhile everything else merrily goes along with it.

Signs of Progress

Two stories illustrate both men’s and our collective, progress. One describes how lonely men are and why they struggle. The other talked about Men’s changing role in society, especially now that women enjoy greater workplace prominence, larger incomes and more responsibility. The article describes how these advances are upending male role expectations both in the family and in the office. These advances threaten male self-image. I think they represent wonderful signs of social progress.

Today’s societies and workplaces no longer depend on male brawn to accomplish things. Income opportunities shifted, thanks to tech, but also society’s modernization, from blue collar, labor intensive work to Health, Education, Administrative and Literacy (HEAL) and STEM jobs. Jobs which women can do as well as, if not better than, men.

As a result, more women fill workplace positions than ever before. Especially in STEM and HEAL positions. Their numbers have triggered better pay for women too, often making them family breadwinners. Something once believed was the exclusive purview of men.

Not any more.

All this challenges male self-image, the silly notion that somehow men should rule over all else because their earning capacity, historically derived from their physical strength, endurance and capability, makes them, better, smarter and, therefore superior. Hogwash.

Finding their place

That idea was always an illusion. All That Is has always been about cooperation among ALL THINGS. Not only between men and women, but also between humans and animals. The ancient ritual of providing food proves this.

Ancient man knew animals played a key part in their hunting success. It was less about men’s hunting prowess, taking their kill from nature with grit and cunning, and much more about the ceremonial cooperation between human and animal. Ancient hunters knew when, for example, a buffalo offered itself to become food for humans, that that buffalo played as important a role in the hunt as the hunter.

Which is why native people often honored animals. Especially animals that gave themselves to sustain their families.

Men have had it wrong for centuries and in many ways continue getting it wrong on many points. That’s caused many problems for men, women, children and society at large. Some of those problems are dire today. Thankfully men are finally getting the message.

It’s all good news

Thankfully too, we still have plenty of time to improve civilization before Mother Nature once and for all kicks our collective human asses. Humanity still counts on distortions many humans still hold about reality as accurate, that, actually, aren’t accurate at all.

Remember, we’re all eternal. Many men already understand their role in life isn’t about being some overlord over others, especially women. But there still are a lot of men who don’t have a clue.

Thankfully, All That Is is patient and persistent in its instruction. That patience is finally paying off. Men are becoming softer, saner, more tuned in to their femininity. That doesn’t mean they’re becoming more like women. It means they’re becoming more human.

Don’t worry transgender women. If you still need a hyper-masculine man to validate your womanhood, plenty of those men still exist. The Universe is big enough to give everyone what they want. Including men through which transgender women can feel like women.

In the meantime, I celebrate those trans-attracted guys. Guys who struggle with the awesome, sacred path of self acceptance. They are on the leading edge of what it means to not only be men, but to be human. Men are changing for the better. And that’s a really good thing.