Cis-trans relationships - The Transamorous Network

August 23, 2022July 2, 2022

[VIDEO] Why Doing Nothing Gives The Best Dating Results

The best way to create a better dating life starts with learning how to do nothing. When people discover the power of doing nothing, life really starts taking off. And dates people have get better and better.

This is especially true for those looking for that perfect mate. Transgender and trans-attracted people struggle finding love because they’re caught up in the “doing disease”. It literally feels like that. Dis-ease.

We think all we need “to do” is do more of what others are doing and we’ll find our mate. So that’s what we do. We go to bars. Maybe we ask friends to hook us up. But the one thing so many do while infected with “doing disease” is pursuing a partner via online dating.

I know that path personally. Over the early part of my life I probably spent something like seven thousand dollars subscribed to various online dating sites. That includes transgender-specific ones. I spent another five thousand or so on other match-making alternatives. That was before I discovered a far more powerful way to fall in love: telling powerful stories.

Doing is drudgery

Before that discovery, I was caught up in doing too. And doing had me doing what everyone else did. It worked. Sometimes. Looking back, though, the success rate of all that doing wasn’t very high. It wasn’t any fun either in retrospect.

No one really likes getting on dating sites in order to find love. It’s a lot of work and money. But it’s crazy how many people go there. So few actually find what they want that way, yet, so many go that way and struggle through sucky experiences.

I’ve asked my clients which they’d prefer: meeting their match in their daily life, on the way to the grocery or while in a park for example, or meeting them on line. Every one agrees they’d prefer meeting them in real life.

Why do so many go through that drudgery then? Maybe it’s because they’re trapped in the doing the disease like I was. I’m glad I found the way out. The way out being doing nothing. It seems crazy, but it’s true. Here’s why.

So many people tire themselves out by trying to get what they want through action. But doing nothing begins a path where things happen far more easily. No struggle required. (Photo by Adrian Swancar)

You match what you’re getting

First, the reason why so many seek their partner through doing, yet fail to find them, is because they’re trying to get something they don’t believe they can have. I talk about this with every client. A person can’t find something they think they can’t find. That’s the case for keys, lost gloves and partners one think doesn’t exist.

How can someone find a partner if they think that partner doesn’t exist? That’s the belief in which many transgender and trans-attracted people stand. So many transgender people think they can’t find a guy who will love them for what they are. So many trans-attracted guys think transgender women of the kind they want, don’t exist. And yet, both parties do, do, do, while not knowing their doing doubles down on their negative thoughts about what they want.

Worse still, how can a person find someone to love if they believe they themselves aren’t lovable? Many transgender women struggle with believing they are worthy of what they want. A lot think they love themselves. But track what comes out of their mouths and in short order overwhelming evidence piles up. That evidence shows what that trans woman really feels about herself.

Same goes with trans-attracted men. Although it’s much easier seeing the evidence. We trans-attracted men struggle with shame and embarrassment about our attraction, but also about our desires. We’re insecure about what our desires tell us about ourselves. And so we struggle too.

Insecurities proceed us all

The fact is, if a person doesn’t think their partner exists, or they don’t think they deserve finding them, they’re not going to.

So when such a person goes online to find their partner, armed with such beliefs and insecurities, they draw to them experiences confirming their beliefs and insecurities. They meet skeezer trans women, cavort with call girls and escorts and get had by gold diggers. Or they meet men who only want to sext, see dick picks or ghost the minute online conversations turn to meeting in person.

When people get these responses, they ignore what these experiences tell them. Instead, they try harder, do more, push, struggle more. They think if they do all that, they’ll finally get what they want.

It doesn’t work that way. Especially in love.

Finding love is easy when you give up the struggle. Even if you’re trans or trans-attracted. (Photo by Juliette F on Unsplash)

Doing it different?

Doing nothing begins an important process. That process reverses inertia created when a person keeps doing the same thing over and over, while expecting different results. When someone calms themselves, relaxes and focuses inward, powerful processes get underway even though it seems like nothing happens.

And the more that person relaxes into doing nothing, the more effective they get. That’s because every person, trans or trans-attracted, receives guidance through their intuition. Doing nothing tunes one into their intuition.

What really happens is, by doing nothing, the person calms down noise in their head. That way they start hearing clear signals their intuition sends all day, every day.

In time, the person realizes some profound insights. Like this client:

Uncovering such insights takes a while. And this is the challenge. So many people in our lives tell us doing nothing is lazy and time wasting. But it’s not that. It’s a profound state of being which tunes one back into their deeper knowing.

But if you listen to society, parents, educators and all those loud mouths in the peanut gallery, you’ll hear “stop being lazy”, “work harder”, “success is in the struggle”.

It works but it’s tough

Such approaches work. But do you really want to struggle through life? I don’t. I’d rather enjoy life while seeing my life bringing me everything I want with little effort.

People who struggle claim it’s worth the struggle. They look at and display scars they “earned” on the way to their success. I say give that approach up, especially when it comes to finding love.

Instead, figure out how to become a match to the relationship, that lasting, loving, true love you want. It’s far more fun, easier, and when it shows up, will be a better match. That’s because on the way to receiving it, you’re becoming a match to it. You’re becoming happy. You’re letting go of your pessimism and joylessness. You let go of blame and judgement.

And when all that happens, you can’t help but meet someone who is just like you. After all, in all that doing to find a partner, the judgement, pessimism, and joylessness you experience is what you get in return in the form of partners matching all of that.

A better way exists. It starts with doing nothing, which really is doing a lot. Learning to do nothing transforms lives. My clients know this. It’s time for you to know it too.

August 2, 2022June 5, 2022

How To Easily Create Your Lover

There’s great power in managing vibration so that one stands in a high flying state. Doing so through positive storytelling one can literally shape others’ experiences. One can also shape other people. A powerful example of that happened this week with a Transamorous Network trans-attracted client.

This client finds himself profoundly affected by what he’s learned. He started four months ago. So he enjoys some proficiency with positive storytelling. But this week, like many clients, he came having had a rough few days. So when he showed up to the session, he wasn’t ready for what happened.

When I help clients attain a high proficiency with telling stories, I create a vibrational bubble in which I hold the session. Every session feels the same because of this. The high vibrational state I create then hold during the session “pulls” clients from wherever they are, to where I am. That’s why, unlike traditional therapy or counseling, every client enjoys extremely satisfying sessions containing powerful insights and breakthroughs.

A compelling offer

This time, however, I brought a lot more vibrational mastery to the table than usual. That’s because I meditated prior to the session, using a process which increases one’s vibrational focus. I also used another process because I wanted to amplify the great feeling I felt after meditation.

By the time I came to the session, I was bouncing off the walls with intense, positivity, appreciation and joy. So much so, the client’s socks got blown off.

The disparity between where he was and where I was was so great, he had to join me. He literally had no choice because my mastery was so strong. So when the client came into my bubble, his negative vibration had no place to go but outta here! 😂.

Which is why, after the session, he sent this:

Creating people on demand

When it comes to relationships, especially romantic ones, most people try to manipulate, convince, “love” (it’s not really that), bribe, blackmail or blame their partners into being someone they can be happy with. That hardly ever works.

Indeed, the whole idea of “love languages” is part of the problem with relationships. Expecting someone to be a certain way so you feel better is a recipe for disaster. It’s also not loving.

Loving is unconditional. That means, no matter how a person might be, you still love them. That’s hard when vibrational mastery eludes you.

But with vibrational mastery, not only can you love a person no matter how they are, when you do, THEY CHANGE.

The best way to change someone is to tell better stories about them. When you do, you “vibe” with the version of the person you want to experience. Then the person you’re with changes into that person. Better stories about that person make that possible. In the process you also feel fucking great!

Trying to change people through action or words hardly ever works. When it does work, it rarely lasts. It often also creates resentment. But using stories, you can make any change you want permanent. And people love you for it.

It’s just like what my client experienced. And I wasn’t even trying!

Want a powerful relationship with those you love, those you work with and those you care about? Stop trying to change them. Tell better stories about them, become a match to their best self. Then, watch how much power you have to create people on demand.

Want to know how? I can help!

July 26, 2022June 1, 2022

Happy Stories Way Better Than Any Therapy

A trans-attracted client echoed what many of my clients feel after learning how to tell positive stories about their lives and things they want, including relationships.

He’s been in the practice only four months. And over that time, his life transformed dramatically. No wonder he’s doubling down on telling happy stories about life, about transgender women and about his trans-attraction. He knows it’s the best way to get what he wants in love.

Furthermore, he knows the power inherent in positive stories. They literally make everything possible. Including turning around in just a couple weeks circumstances which had this client contemplating suicide. Suicidal thoughts are nothing serious. Eliminating them comes easy once someone understands then uses the power of positive stories.

That’s what this client did. In a couple weeks, he no longer even thought about killing himself. Now, he’s so clear “stories create reality”, he’s glad he made the choice of connecting with The Transamorous Network rather than going to a therapist:

He’s right on another thing. Mass shootings in the US wouldn’t happen if people understood why emotions exist and where they come from. In their ignorance of this, some get so far down emotionally, feeling powerless and insecure, the only thing they can think of is shooting up a school, church or sporting event.

Such events needn’t happen. But so long as people don’t understand what’s happening inside and around them, they will keep happening. So will the suffering. Same holds true for transgender people and their admirers and suffering they experience in love. So long as such people don’t understand emotions and the power of stories, suffering will continue in life.

Eckhart Tolle wasn’t playing when he talked about how unnecessary suffering is:

Is suffering still necessary for you?

I love how Transamorous Network clients get that suffering no longer need exist in their lives. I love then watching as they tune their lives so their lives match stories they tell about how they want their life, instead of how it is.

The more they do that, the more powerful they get. Then the more free they get. Before long life for them becomes the adventure it is. Then they get the love, the partner, the life they knew was possible.

We suffer because we know deep down that life was supposed to be fun. It was supposed to contain everything we want, flowing to us easily. But for so many, that’s not the life they live.

I want everyone living their happiest life. Therapy does work for some. But it has a terrible success rate. Telling positive stories works 100 percent of the time. Positive story telling is one of the best kept life secrets.

Although it’s not a secret. People have shared this life approach for…ever.

Isn’t it about time you got in on the fun life and find your match?

June 7, 2022April 10, 2022

Your Happy Transgender Love Lives Right Where You Do

Several months ago when my newest client came to me, he was extremely resistant about his trans-attraction, among other things. His strong negative stories created in him an extreme negative life and self image. As a result, he wanted to commit suicide.

One thing driving him to want to kill himself was shame he felt about being attracted to transgender women. He contacted me for this purpose, and after working through some of his negative stories, he found himself feeling more optimistic about his attraction, an attraction that is normal and wholesome.

But the more we talked about the fact that his transgender partner is standing by waiting for him to become a match to who she is, this client uncovered more and more disempowering stories. Stories which kept him from becoming a match to that person.

For example, like many trans-attracted people and transgender women, he believed it’s impossible finding a transgender woman matching his desires. When he considered such a woman being in his area, he thought it even more impossible.

He told me the odds for why he’d never meet this girl. When I told him she likely lived in his area right now, he said “there are no transgender women in my small town“.

My newest client telling me he believes the odds of him meeting trans women are so low, compared to meeting a cis woman. But the odds don’t matter. Your stories about what’s possible shape everything, regardless of the odds.

Powerlessness and random go hand-in-hand

When people don’t understand “stories create reality”, it’s very easy for them to get discouraged. That’s because they cannot tell they are the ones creating their reality. Instead, reality seems to show up as a random set of events beyond their control.

But everything is under one’s control. And stories we tell ourselves, are levers we can use to exert that control.

A person without this knowledge finds themselves powerless when it comes to realizing their dreams. Which is why so many experience anxiety and depression. When one doesn’t know they create reality, it does feel like reality happens beyond their control. That’s what was happening with his client. He felt powerless to have what he wanted. And powerless to stop feeling so negative about himself, and his natural desire.

All that was about to change though.

If you don’t know stories you tell are creating your reality, then reality can be quite frustrating. Especially if you’re transgender or trans-attracted. (Photo by Nsey Benajah)

Changes beget more changes

For several weeks, many weeks actually, he continued strongly asserting this idea that no transgender women live in his area. He had never seen any, he said. He couldn’t imagine there being any in his area because his area is so small and so conservative.

Meanwhile, I held fast to the knowledge that transgender women are everywhere. And there is nowhere where it is impossible to meet a transgender woman. Especially when the universe is cooperating to deliver everything everyone wants, thereby making everything possible.

I held that knowing for my client even as my client gave reason after reason for why there are no transgender women in his area. Here is a text he sent me reiterating his argument:

In the ensuing sessions, however, this client experienced one epiphany after another. These epiphanies had profound effects on his existing belief constellation. The more he explored his existing stories and changed them into better-feeling ones, the lighter he felt about himself and life.

As that lightness took over, he saw his attempts at committing suicide as ridiculous. He became more compassionate towards himself and his desires.

Tectonic shift from little changes

At one point, he pointed out that he had hired a transgender escort in a town nearby. I explained to him that that was evidence that transgender women are in his area.

But he denied this as evidence simply because this transgender woman was an escort, a sex worker. Somehow, in my client’s eyes, her being a sex worker disqualified her from being a “transgender woman in my area“. That’s hilarious I told him.

I asked my client some weeks later to implement a process that is common in the practice. I told him that if he implemented this while at work, transgender women will show themselves anywhere he is. At first he was hesitant, he didn’t think it would work. But he decided to do it.

Some days later he texted me telling me that indeed he had seen a transgender woman. About a month after that he had a paradigm shift. He literally shifted his knowing around transgender women and his local community. The transition, the shift, was so powerful, he sent me a text:

The very next session he opened the conversation saying “there are plenty of transgender women in my area”.

I was shocked but not shocked. After all, I knew there were lots of transgender women in his area. Even in his small town. He just needed to change his stories. Doing so, he produced amazing shifts in his reality.

Then he went even farther. He told me later he talked with a transgender woman who he had actually went to high school with. So not only were plenty of transgender women in his area, he actually knew some transgender women personally.

You can’t see beyond your stories

Why hadn’t he recalled this earlier? Why had he claimed so strongly that no transgender women exist in his area?

This is the power of stories. Your stories create your reality. And you cannot see beyond them. Even though my client had gone to high school with this person, even though he lives within walking distance of other transgender women in his neighborhood, all he could see was the absence of transgender women.

This applies equally to transgender women. If you, as a transgender woman, believe there are no men who will love you, guess what? You will not find a man who will love you. Same goes for stories such as “all men are chasers“, or “men who are interested in trans women only want to be topped by trans women“, or “all men interested in transgender women are fetishizing trans people“.

These are all powerful stories many transgender women share. And while they seem true, the only reason why they appear that way is because the stories themselves create a reality confirming them.

It’s a little more complicated than that. I talk through this in great detail with my clients. But the basic premise holds 100% of the time: stories create reality.

Transforming life into the Charmed Life

My client proved this to himself in such a profound way, he has totally given up the old belief he once held. Now he feels empowered and excited about his future. He is eager to meet not just a transgender woman he can date, but other transgender women as well. He wants to plug into the community and support them as an ally. Changing his stories has been so profound on him, it’s like he’s a totally different person!

We extended his practice a bit farther last week. I recommend he get out more so the Universe can show him more evidence. Having done that, he texted me, just this morning, the following:

I love seeing these kinds of transformations within clients. It’s so fun working with people in such a way that they transform their life into the Charmed Life I talk about. The kind of life where everything happens for the person instead of the person “making things happen“.

I look forward to more epiphanies coming from this client’s experience. Because when he has an epiphany, I revel in it, which then creates fertile ground for me to experience more of my own epiphanies. There’s nothing better than knowing that stories create reality.

Are you ready for your own Charmed Life?

May 24, 2022March 21, 2022

A Transgender Woman Finds Her Perfect Love

A client recently had a wonderful experience. She met her perfect match. She marveled that it happened, which set the stage for future such meeting.

Most people reading this account of how it happened won’t believe the person she met is her perfect match. But that’s exactly what happened.

We offer a matchmaking service here at the Transamorous Network. But it is not your typical matchmaking service. You don’t select someone you think is your match from a pool of candidates like people do through online dating. That way doesn’t work all that well. Instead, our “pool“ is the entire planet. And your selection happens by virtue of the stories you tell.

Then the universe coordinates events such that you meet your match effortlessly.

In this way, every client gets bespoke service: their matches come perfectly aligned with stories they tell at any moment. That makes every encounter a perfect match. That means most perfect matches don’t show up with “until death do us part” in mind. More often, they help a person know what stories need cleaning up before the perfect match the person really wants shows up.

In other words, often one’s perfect match in the moment represents a steppingstone to a better, more ideal perfect match coming in the future. So if you’re a transgender woman and you’re meeting shady, down low, or chaser men, they’re a perfect match to the stories (complaints about men) you’re telling yourself.

Creep? Or something else?

Such was the case with this client. She’s soothed many bogus stories. Stories about herself, about dating, about men, stories about relationships, all of which created a reality reflecting these beliefs back to her.

That’s why her dating life filled with men wanting her to top them, men calling her drunk just looking for sex, or transphobic men.

Again, all these men reflected back to my client stories she tells about her reality. And as she gradually did something about that, her life started reflecting back to her her changed beliefs.

Which brings us to the story she told at our session this week.

“I went to a gas station to fill my tank,“ She said. “The attendant came and I told him what I wanted and while my car was filling, he stood next to my car door.”

She said the attendant stood there even though other cars had come to fill their tanks as well.

“My initial thought was this guy’s creepy,” She said. “But then I remembered our talks, and realized that story was from my old beliefs about men and about being worthy of having someone who’s interested in me.“

There are plenty of men who will love you for who and what you are. But if you think all men are just out to objectify you, those are the only men you’ll meet. (Photo by Caleb Ekeroth on Unsplash)

Inspired action opens the door

At that point, she decided to change her interpretation of what was happening. Instead of disempowering conclusions about men who get close to her or look at her, she considered that this guy standing next to her door was something else that what she thinks it was.

“So rather than rolling up my window,” She said. “I said to the guy ‘how are you doing?’ And the guy turned around and looked at me and said ‘I’m doing good’.”

She and the guy then had a brief conversation. Toward the end, the guy looked at her nails and said “I really like your nails”.

“What is this an indication of my beliefs changing?“ She asked.

“Yes!“ I said.

Most people will scoff at reading this. They will say “that’s not a match. That’s just some random event.” But unless you understand how reality happens, how stories create reality and how a person moves from negative to positive experiences through telling better stories, you can’t see this exchange for what it is.

It is a perfect matching up between the client and this guy complimenting her nails. The client knows this because this has never happened for her. She’s never, EVER, talked to a stranger this way before. Nor has a man ever complimented her about anything.

And yet here she was striking up a conversation, i.e., taking the initiative, and getting a very positive result. Needless to say, the client felt quite empowered.

That relationship you want is out there. It’s waiting for you to become a match to it. (Photo by Everton Vila on Unsplash)

This? A perfect match?

But the most important thing is she recognized the experience for what it was: a perfect matching up of who she is becoming, in the moment, with an experience reflecting back that new version of her.

Why didn’t the guy ask her out, or indicate more interest? Why did he only offer a compliment? And how is this a perfect match?

The client still has several disempowering stories going on inside her. Many are about her being transgender. Many are about scarcity in the dating sense. She still believes hardly any men exist who will love her for who she is. As a result, she feels desperate and grasping about love. That’s a problem.

So this experience reflects back to the client the combination of her desires; resistance she still has about those desires, and beliefs which stand in contradiction of her desires. The Universe constantly delivers what everyone wants. But it can’t work around people’s resistance. If it could, then people wouldn’t have free will. Nor can it work through beliefs contrary to the desire. What people get then is a reality in which truncated versions of their desires show up.

The guy complimenting her nails was as close to the full-blown desire for a relationship this client can get given the combination above. That’s OK though, because she sees this exchange as a big improvement on guys asking for dick pics, wanting her to top them, or guys misgendering her.

Online dating can’t get around your disempowering stories. You’ll just hook up with person after person reflecting your stories back to you. Better to attend to your stories then let the universe match you up with your perfect match. Not only is it 100 percent free, it’s way more fun too! (Photo by Victoria Heath)

Getting ready for more

She and I delighted in the story. It was fun seeing all her work culminate in this wonderful experience. In delighting in what happened, the client knows she’s preparing herself for more significant experiences on the way.

As with all things in life, meeting your match this way is a gradual experience. It doesn’t have to take forever though. And it’s for sure way more fun than online dating.

But if you’re telling stories as a transgender woman, or a trans-attracted man, that your match is impossible to find or that men are always a certain way or transgender women are, then that gradual turns into forever. Life’s happiness gets sucked out of life experience. Then you become someone who thinks all men are chasers or transgender women are all gold-diggers.

Sound familiar?

At The Transamorous Network, we show people how to change all of that. Our clients effortlessly discover their perfect match. There’s never just one perfect match. There’s a succession of perfect matches, all cued up to offer delightful experiences like the one this client had. Experiences that will eventually culminate in that one match everyone thinks is the only one that will delight them.

The paradox of that belief is that you cannot have that match until you become a match to it. And becoming a match to it means that the ultimate match that you’re really wanting is the match in which you have with yourself. When you become that match, when your self love, your self appreciation knows no limit, the joy of self exists within you. And when you’re there, then you are truly a match to the love you deeply desire.

We guarantee every client that outcome. The perfect match awaits anyone wanting that. Ready for yours?