Blog - The Transamorous Network

May 2, 2023March 16, 2023

Why Trans And Trans-Attracted People Are So Scary

It’s not about us. It’s about them.

The world is a scary place for most people. Even those who think they’re not scared, are. If they’re not scared of life, they’re scared of their own death. Which makes them afraid to take what they perceive are big risks. Like following their passions or living authentically.

This also explains why people express conservative views. There’s a fear underlying trying to keep things the way they are. Or keeping things the same or stable. Or the way things used to be.

So when a transgender person or a trans-attracted person shows up, that person threatens stability conservative people create in order to feel safe. Furthermore even transgender people can express conservatism. Especially in relationships. Many are unwilling to expand their understanding of trans-attracted men beyond what they think they know about us.

A person who feels they’re progressive can also slip into conservative thinking if presented with something too progressive, for example. Especially if that thing presented has an impact on the person’s view of themselves. Especially if their self-view depends on how others view them. Particularly when “others” means one’s own peer group. This especially holds true for “oppressed” groups and their members.

Black power masking weakness

I once attended a Clubhouse conversation on racism, hosted by a prominent black activist. This prominent person enjoyed notoriety among black people. Especially so on this social platform. Not long into the conversation, another person of color spoke. He said he didn’t think racism was a real thing. He described how, instead, racist views represented a moral injury. “Racists” in his view were morally-injured people. Their injuries sustained from within their families of origin.

When I agreed aloud, the momentum was too much for the prominent activist. She signed off of the conversation. Before doing so she expressed discomfort over the conversation’s direction.

The activist went “conservative” on matters of race and blackness. For her, shibboleths had been violated. She couldn’t bear hearing our perspective. One held by people who looked like her.

Often power masks insecurity, weakness and intolerance. It doesn’t matter if that power is borne from experiencing oppression. It’s a shaky power that crumbles in the face of a divergent opinion. Especially if that power can’t welcome and embrace new ideas. Particularly ideas that may be disagreeable.

Nearly everyone is susceptible to expressing conservative thinking. Especially when it comes to their opinions about life. No one is immune. Not even transgender people. Or trans-attracted people.

We represent possibility

Meanwhile, transgender and trans-attracted people exemplify an expansion of human consciousness. That expansion sometimes even threatens transgender and trans-attracted people! Yes, the same people expressing the expansion!

That’s the divine paradox of human expansion. In all cases, those exemplifying the expansion do it, primarily, for themselves. Which explains why so many trans-attracted men AND TRANSGENDER WOMEN struggle accepting they are trans-attracted or transgender. The story is the same for both groups. Both are learning self-acceptance while offering the same lessons to those around them.

The possibility of expansion is a gift we give ourselves…if we’re willing to accept it.

For non-binary people it’s the same.

We all came to the world to choose freely. We came to create our world and the world around us in our image. Meaning, according to our unique perspective. We came to live our way. Not to regurgitate ways others already explored and express. We are All That Is seeing new and diverse freedoms that push outward our self-imposed boundaries.

And in doing that we help All That Is become more and human expression to evolve in line with that.

Radical self-acceptance is divinity expressed

And in doing THAT we confront those who struggle with their own, personal expansionism. More so for those stuck in lack-of-self-acceptance. Or worse, those trying to create the past out of fear and insecurity of a future that threatens a rigid belief system.

The glorious thing about being WHO we are is the inherent glory of WHAT we are: expression of creativity, moving, living examples of what’s possible for ourselves and for others. It can be hard accepting that others resist what we are. It doesn’t have to be though.

That resistance can be scary for some. But it needn’t be scary either. The answer to the fear is not legislation, or coercing or forcing others to accept us. The answer lies in radical self-acceptance. Then one emanates then attracts acceptance from others. It doesn’t happen overnight. But it will happen, guaranteed.

Some in our community think the world around them objectively presents challenges separate from what’s happening within them. That’s never the case. The outside world is a reflection of one’s inner condition. Figure that out and the world becomes our oyster. Then, everything is possible.

Those who don’t understand this think I blame people for their experiences. Such an expression only shows how little such people understand how the world works and what and who they are.

The good news: Ignorance is always temporary. Choose illumination.

April 25, 2023March 12, 2023

Yet Another Transgender Woman Gets It

Oh boy, I’m attracting extraordinary transgender women!

I love it when I connect with transgender women who get it. The trans community is NOT homogenous. Not in any respect, but especially when it comes to opinions about many things, including being transgender.

Many transgender women hold views totally different from those who complain about men, their lives, the world around them and how poorly that world treats them. To the trans-attracted men: I suggest focusing on these transgender women. Not those who blame you for their experience. Trust me, you’ll find them everywhere.

These kinds of transgender women see where their views of the world shape the world they live in and experiences they have. Still others get how pointing fingers at men for being chasers perpetuates negative experiences transgender women experience with such men.

I will say this over and over: men struggle with their trans-attraction. That struggle strongly resembles processes many transgender women go through on their way to self-acceptance. Processes that help both parties get over their fear, their confusion, and shame. In other words, both parties have a lot in common. In fact, both parties share extremely intimate experiences. Experiences that can form the basis of intense, intimate, deep, loving relationships.

Another joyful connection

I had the pleasure of communicating with yet another transgender woman whose insight and maturity allows her to see things other transgender women can’t or won’t. I loved reading her response to a story I posted recently. Her response increases my knowing that these kinds of women exist. Women who share perspectives I have. Perspectives which say being trans is a unique, special and world-changing experience. And those having those experiences are worthy of veneration.

In the story I posted not long ago, I shared my personal views about transgender women. I wrote about what they represent (to me) and what that representation means for the world. Kari responded to that story. She gave me permission to use her real name.

The two comments she made are gold:

A brilliant and accurate analysis of what I wrote in my original story

And her perspective shared subsequently.

I’m heartened that transgender women exist like Kari. Women who can hold two different views and accept both. I also appreciate her self awareness. That self awareness shines through her self-image. A self-image through which she can see flaws in beliefs transgender women hold which vilify trans-attracted men. And ideas that try to put all transgender women in the same box.

There’s a lesson here guys

The transgender community is as diverse as any other. Transgender women exist who will meet any preference. They don’t all think the same. While there are transgender women who want to live as if they’re cis, there are transgender women who eschew that paradigm. And if you’re interested in a trans woman who will satisfy your preferences, you can find them.

Finding them however, means you must stop putting all your eggs in the wrong basket. Instead, focus on what you want to the exclusion of all else. Let them come to you. Let the Universe bless you with your perfect match. You do that by becoming a match to what you want. That happens if you focus exclusively on what you want.

Meanwhile, the girl you want, who meets your every preference, will get her own impulses. She’ll be inspired to places where you are. And before you know it, you’ll find yourself in her arms. And her in yours. Need help figuring this out? Then contact me.

And feel free to read some of Kari’s writings on Medium.

April 18, 2023February 23, 2023

How Toxic Positivity Destroys Life’s Greatest Gifts

Question: Do people who believe in manifestation believe in toxic positivity?

Answer: I cannot speak for all “people”. But I can speak with accuracy for myself.

Anything someone believes will eventually prove “true”. But only for that person. And for those who become a match to that belief.

“Toxic Positivity” is a belief. It emerged only recently. As Law of Attraction gained prominence in recent decades some react strongly to its ideas. “Toxic Positivity” represents a manifestation of the phrase’s creator’s struggle with their Belief Constellation. This person’s pessimism runs so strongly, Law of Attraction’s success prompts this equally strong, knee-jerk reaction.

A person who lives pessimistically, for example, might conclude from that orientation that life’s glass is “half-empty”. They’ll see life as a struggle, risky, inherently random and out of their control. From their perspective you gotta be careful, work hard and even then things might not go your way. Their locus of control is external.

A conclusion is a belief. Again any belief, held long enough, will prove true. So this person’s life will prove their conclusions about life true.

Life always reflects belief

Life experience has influence on belief. But life experience BENDS to belief. It is expectation (belief) that gets “life” going. And expectation determines future experience. However, once life gets going, remembering that beliefs create experience gets shaky. That’s because we focus more on the physical world. We focus comparatively less on our inner world. But again, our inner world originates the outer.

So then, a chronically negative person will attract more negative experiences because that’s how they focus. This includes more negative thoughts and beliefs. They also put more attention on the outside world. They don’t consider their inner world and do something about their negative beliefs. Instead they take them for granted as indelibly true. So life gives more experience consistent with their “truth”.

But truth can change. Truth changes constantly.

Chronic negative focus makes attracting more negative beliefs a foregone conclusion. Same with negative experiences. IT WILL ALSO MAKE IT VERY HARD TO ACCEPT DISSIMILAR THOUGHTS.

Momentum creates more

So then consider when someone tells such a person, they create their reality. “Change your beliefs to more positive ones,” They say. “And you can improve your life experience”. Of course the listener’s Belief Constellation, their dominant negative focus, will vigorously repel such a statement. That’s because the statement confronts existing belief momentum. Momentum that is extremely strong. Momentum with a lot of evidence proving it “true”.

For example, sometimes when I write transgender and trans-attracted people create their reality, I will get verbal lashings from some transgender women and trans-attracted men. They will claim I’m “blaming the victim.” Or they’ll say “It’s not my fault I got evicted from my apartment because I’m trans.”

“Blame” and “Fault” are strong words I never use. That’s because I stand in empowerment. I encourage others through what I share to do similarly. But a person whose locus of control is outside themselves will only hear me “blaming” or “faulting” them. Even if I don’t use those words. That’s their Belief Constellation acting as a filter while they’re reading.

It’s real and worth giving up

All That Is is extremely complex and diverse. It also is very creative. So “Toxic Positivity” is a creative term springing from a small part of All That Is. That small part represents consciousness focused predominantly in a negative orientation. That orientation will not allow the consciousness, nor the intelligence it possesses, from even considering positive orientation. It will strenuously resist….then create a new idea from its extreme revulsion. The new idea will expand and reinforce negative orientation. The idea? TOXIC Positivity.

It will then vastly amplify that consciousness’ attachment to negativity and negativity’s momentum in the process. Then it will attract other people who see the world similarly. So yes, Toxic Positivity is real. But just because it’s real doesn’t mean it’s something to pay attention to.

Racism and inequality are real. Do you want to look at that? If you want the life you want, you’re better off ignoring those things right along with Toxic Positivity. Because what you look at is where you’re focusing. And what you focus on you get more of.

So yes, it’s real. But so is every other thought. Any thought held long enough will manifest corresponding reality, all other factors being equal. So Toxic Positivity is a manifestation. A manifestation of chronic negative focus. A focus held so long it cannot bear to accept what’s at the heart of All That Is: Pure Positive Energy.

I prefer focusing on the positive aspects of life. That way, I get more of that. I suggest you do the same.

April 11, 2023February 22, 2023

Every Old Trans Sock Meets An Old Trans-Attracted Shoe

Trigger warning: This story is for trans-attracted men and therefore contains content that, while accurate, may be triggering for some transgender women. If you’re easily triggered by other people’s opinion, best that you go read something else.

Earlier this past month, I posted a popular story about why so many trans-attracted men are showing up these days. This is a companion story. While the other story offered hope to transgender women, this one offers hope to the men. This story encourages men not to settle, to instead hold fast to what they want.

That’s because the Universe will give you exactly what you want. But you must become a match to it. That means telling stories consistent with what you’re wanting. In time as your stories gain momentum, men, you will undoubtedly encounter your dream transgender partner.

There’s an old English saying: “Every old sock, meets an old shoe.” It means, eventually, every thing finds its match or mate. The same holds true for trans-attracted men. Hold out for what you want. Soothe stories you’re telling that contradict what you want. Then you will meet your match.

There’s a match for everyone

While telling stories about what you want, it’s critical that you not listen to other people’s stories. Especially if those stories contradict what you’re wanting. For example, if a transgender woman disparages your desire to be topped by a transgender woman, you don’t want to listen to that.

The Universe isn’t listening to that person relative to your desire. So why should you?

The Universe thrives on diversity. Especially diversity of expression. That means, for every desire, a condition fulfilling that desire exists. This includes mates. In other words, for every person who wants to be with someone, no matter the conditions they desire, mates will show up. That’s right. Mates PLURAL. But most men just want one girl. Unless you men hold yourselves as not a match to what you want, it’s guaranteed you’ll get it.

For example, there are many men who want to be with a transgender woman who finds joy in using her penis. And for every man with this desire, there are increasing numbers of transgender women showing up expressing pleasure in such acts. Indeed, many such women exist on Instagram already. And many are quite beautiful. Same with YouTube. Here’s one YouTuber. Here’s another.

If you are such a man desiring such a girl, it’s really important you tell stories consistent with your desires. What do those sorts of stories sound like? Like this one, offered by Julian, a transamorous reader of our content who also happens to enjoy “bottoming,” apparently:

A transamorous guy offers a killer positive story

Get what you want

Julian’s perspective, his story, is as refreshing as it is bold. It also will guarantee he meets a woman who will derive joy from having sex with him. Julian doesn’t give a rip what other transgender women, or anyone else, thinks about his interest. And, he knows when he meets his match, she will get as much pleasure as he does from his style of sexual expression.

That’s been my experience. Nearly every transgender woman I’ve dated has been a match to my desires. That tells me it doesn’t matter what statistics say, or what transgender women say about my desires. As you are the creator of your reality, statistics don’t matter and neither do others’ opinions.

Every old sock meets an old shoe! You will get what you want. You open the door to what you want the moment you focus on your desires and leave everyone else’s opinion out of the equation.

Need help finding your match? I can help.

April 4, 2023February 10, 2023

The Best Way To Improved Transgender Lives

Many trans-attracted men and transgender women have a hard time with this because it sounds so unbelievably “absurd”. And yet, there’s ample evidence supporting the notion. The notion that the fastest way to a better life, whether it’s finding a partner, having family accept us or finding more freedom in society, comes from first accepting how life is now.

Now, some transgender women who come to this story will push hard against this. Their experience seemingly shows them the best way to change a life situation is to push against it, resist it, protest about it.

But one of life’s many paradoxes is, it is the accepting of what is that makes change happen faster. And, in every case where change happens, that’s what makes it happen. Even when it looks like that’s not happening.

An old client of mine found this to be the case. After a l-o-n-g period of her family disowning her, she recently IM’d me with delightful news:

A former client realizes a long-held desire. Her family had disowned her. But now, after practicing what we offer at The Transamorous Network, she’s manifested a long-held wish.

Make peace release resistance

Persistent negative experiences, especially involving other people, remain persistent because we focus on trying to change the experience. But the problem with changing the experience involves why we want to do that. Typically, humans want change because they don’t like what they have. Trans-attracted men feel shame about their trans-attraction, for example. They don’t want to feel that awful emotion. So they try changing what they are.

But if they make peace with their trans-attraction, “shame” gets replaced with “being ok with what is.” That making peace eliminates one’s focus on the unwanted experience. Eventually “being ok” allows the person to explore their bogus stories about trans-attraction. Stories like “I must be gay” or, “my family will disown me”, under dispassionate scrutiny can then turn into more empowering stories.

In the absence of resistance, change will show up. Especially when the person focuses on what they want, while being ok with what they have.

That’s part of the practice I share with my clients. As simple as it seems, it has powerful, enduring force. Force born of what creates and maintains the Universe.

Future improvement

The same goes with transgender women. If we want love from men, love that looks like what we want, we must stop looking at experiences that don’t match that. We also need to stop complaining about those experiences. Complaining is focus. Negative focus. Negative focus amplifies that which we complain about. Since the Universe gives us what we focus on, not what we want, the Universe in this situation will give us more to complain about.

But when we come to peace with experiences we’re having and revel in the reality that we’re creating those experiences, we embrace our power. And there, future experiences MUST look different. Especially if we focus on what we want, instead of what we don’t.

Abraham, one of my spiritual guides, putting it plainly. Improvement happens speedily when we accept our present.

We must stop complaining. Focus on what we want instead. Appreciate, or at the very least, accept what we have. For the change we want can’t happen so long as we resist what we have.

But in the acceptance, we come into eventual new futures. Futures aligned with everything we want. It’s the Charmed Life I write about on my other blog.

Having trouble not complaining? Give me a shoutout. I can help!