Transwomen - The Transamorous Network

April 27, 2016April 25, 2016

Our Podcast is freaking live

So, I’m pretty jazzed.

Yesterday The Transamorous Network Podcast went live with our first four episodes. Shannon and Remy, my co-hosts and I are super excited.

We’ll be publishing a show a week, probably on Wednesdays, starting next week. You can listen directly on SoundCloud or, in a little bit, on iTunes.

The podcast completes our first phase of growth, which includes this blog, the website and our YouTube Channel. On the podcast we’ll deepen our dives on material and content offered through our shop page, through fun, lively conversations with real people from the trans community. Everyone here at The Network is really jazzed about the podcast. Some who have been waiting for it to go live have been waiting too. A couple of people are expecting big things to come of it.

I think it, along with our other content, is going to help a lot of people. Particularly men, and by extension transwomen, then all trans people and their families.

The podcast would have been fun to do if I were doing it alone. However, it’s so much fun

having Remy Ilmatar as Co-host. Her totally take-no-bullshit-but-with a smile attitude livens an already lively conversation. That she is particularly jazzed about what The Transamorous Network offers is a big boon: as a transwoman herself, she can attest to how effective what we offer is.

Then there’s Shannon my other co-host. She brings a different, yet complimentary energy to our trio. I love seeing her, basking in all her positive energy. After reading straight through The Man’s Guide To Finding Your Transgender Partner on a flight home, she too is convinced we’re going to be changing lives with the podcast. If you have a moment,

check out what else Shannon is up to. She’s an impressive person in her own right.

So here we are, a nice threesome, wanting to make the world a better place. With our podcast now live, I have to say I think we’re off to a good start. I think you will do once you give our show a listen.

April 24, 2016March 12, 2016

Admirer? Really?

This one’s really short.

If you’re out there hanging with guys known as “admirers”, and those guys treat you as…

“…secret “discreet” hidden fetish fucks by the majority of admirers who hugged on to hetero-mono-normative relationships while getting into the desserts while no one is looking…”

Then you really should question your definition of “admirer.” Here I’ll help:

ad·mir·er (ədˈmī(ə)rər/) noun: someone who has a particular regard for someone or something

re·gard (rəˈɡärd/) noun: 1. attention to or concern for something. “the court must have regard to the principle of welfare” consideration, care, concern. 2. best wishes.

If a a person treats you like shit, they’re not an “admirer”. They’re something else. If you want to find someone who will have a particular regard for you, who will admire you, you might want to change a few stories, stories creating situations where you’re willing to put up with being treated like shit.

As though you have no other alternative (news flash: You do have other alternatives!)

April 17, 2016March 6, 2016

This Kid Gets It

My Own Story This is pretty damn impressive. Imagine where you’d be if you understood this wisdom at the time when your writing was as shitty as this kid.

Yeah, my handwriting is still this bad and I’m 51. But I blame it on technology and keyboards.

That’s besides the point though right?

The point is, your stories are creating your reality. So if you’re a single Transwoman and you’re bemoaning the fact that there are no men in your area (or in the entire world) who will EVER be interested in you, well, this kid knows more than you do. I’ll clue you in though: you’re creating the situation where there are no men in your area or in the world interested in being with you!

There’s more to it of course. Especially if you’re over 10 years old. That’s because you’ve been living your life unconscious of this simple fact. So there is a lot of unlearning to do. Not to worry. It’s easy. You just need persistence. Oh, and you gotta know the clues which show you’re doing it right.

I can help with that.

April 10, 2016April 27, 2016

How to disappear bigots, ignorance

What people say doesnt mean shit I do mean disappear. As in never having to deal with them ever. Ever.

A lot of transamorous men – those married to transwomen, those dating transwomen and those looking for them – are afraid of “what people will say or do” if they were to publicly acknowledge their love, desire and romantic and sexual attraction to transgender women. What these guys don’t realize is it is exactly that fear that creates situations where they experience instances of stupidity, ignorance and insecurity (incidentally, the same is true for transwomen who fear what others will say or do). Your fears are creating experiences in your life that match them.

A short primer on life, aka “reality”. Ever notice, guys, when you’re thinking about buying a new car and you have the model in mind, seemingly suddenly you start seeing this model car all over? Ever notice how sometimes, maybe not always, you’ll be thinking of someone and sometime later you’ll run into that person or that person will contact you in some way? Well, this is how life is.

People call these things “coincidence.” But they don’t mean what I’m about to describe. Coincidence is the co-located incidence of you and the thing you are most focusing on. Coincidence as most people think about it, is a random, uncontrollable and sometimes uninvited act. But that is not what is happening because nothing about your life is random or uncontrollable.

Your life is a product of what you think and how you feel. That’s it basically. Hard to accept, I know because I refused to accept it for a very long time.

So guess what? If you’re fearing what other people are going to say about you wanting to have sexual experiences with transwomen, if you’re worried about what your parents are going to say if you bring your transgender girlfriend home, guess what? They will! But if you don’t give a fuck, I mean, really don’t care – not in a defensive way with your lower lip all out – guess what? They won’t either.

My family, my coworkers even my wife are all testaments to this. No one in my life batted an eye when I told them. That includes the testosterone-ladened martial arts community I participated in (long enough to earn a 3rd degree black belt by the way). My wife, not being threatened or against my interest is all for my desires. And no, my life isn’t some kind of exception. Well, it is but only because I know my thoughts and focus are creating my experiences.

Let’s take it back to the days when I was insecure about my desires, when I was still in the Marines and worried about what people would think about my romantic interest in transwomen. Back then some of my fellow Marines harassed me for being gay and I didn’t even tell them anything (nor was I gay)! How did they know something was up? I was broadcasting that information from all my pores, or more accurately, through my thoughts, which are physical emanations we all exude.

You’re transmitting your thoughts too. All of them. The minute you start owning your natural normal desire for transwomen, your transmissions will change. When that happens, so will your life. I guarantee it.

And when that happens, all those people you feared would ridicule you for your desire will either change….or disappear from your life.

I can help you.

April 3, 2016February 26, 2016

We are all connected

Why do so many miss this obvious fact? Wait. Don’t answer. I already know. The question is: do you really know?

Beautiful case in point. This article tells Tracey “Africa” Norman’s remarkable story as the first transgender BLACK model. It’s a great read. The way Tracey tells it, she had a much less difficult life as a female presenting male than the stories I see and hear about. When she finally aligned her reality with what she knew inside, her intuition had her finding work among some of the most successful black models in the world.

That didn’t last. Once the industry found out – as was often the case – all doors closed. Still. Late in the story we discover how trans black icons today only recently discovered Tracey. But here’s the point: one of these people’s lives, Laverne Cox, includes this seemingly “bizarre” juxtaposition of events, which, really just are examples of how connected we all are in this world.

Tracey had modeled “multiple times” according to the article for Essence magazine right up until around the 80s. That’s when her secret got out. Her secret got out just as she was shooting her first Essence cover. She never got the cover and except some modeling opportunities overseas, Tracey’s modeling career ended abruptly.

Fast forward to 2014. Laverne Cox on her first cover shoot for Essence is tearing up thinking about Tracey and the trail she blazed, seemingly specially for Cox.

“I was like, ‘Oh my god, I’m doing a cover shoot for Essence and this is the magazine that 40 years ago fired a trans woman when they found out she was trans.’” She chokes up. “It just means a lot to me that history can be rewritten.”

Back then when the modeling industry canned Tracey, she had a thought about what she was doing. Rather than sue (she said in the article she didn’t have the presence of mind to even think of doing such a thing) she thought differently of events unfolding in her life:

“I’ve always said that the person that walks through the door first leaves the door cracked. There was a perception that a transgender woman couldn’t be passable and work in fashion magazines and land contracts. I proved that wrong. I left the door cracked for other [transgender people] to walk through.”

The door stayed open for 40 years before Cox stepped through. Not just once. Multiple times.

These kinds of events, these connections which span decades, are happening in your life every day. They happen every day. Some are decades old. Some open the moment you need them. Why don’t you see them? Why is your life not charmed like Cox or some other person you know?

Comparisons are futile.

What’s important is the nature of your stories. What stories are you telling yourself? Your stories are the access to events being organized on your behalf. You can tap in to them effortlessly, including that event where you naturally, effortlessly meet your ideal partner.

It’s not magic. It’s not miraculous. It’s just how the Universe works. Claim your share.