Tag: transamorous men

Posted on

Men: you gotta understand your love stories

 

Men (and transwomen). You’re wanting a relationship. Essentially that means you’re wanting love. Do you know what you mean when you talk about “love”?

It’s an important question. Love comes in all kinds of shapes and colors. And definitions. Knowing what “love” is like for you can help you determine if you’re getting what you’re wanting, or what you’re not wanting.

For example, for a long time my “love story” told me that love included fighting, disagreements, coldness, periods of sexual expression, and a smattering of peace. As a result of this “love story”, guess what my relationships looked like?

That’s right, each relationship was incendiary, unstable, and fraught with drama. The sex was good…for a while. But the drama always overwhelmed good sex.

Later I learned a new love story. I learned that love and relationships were a forge designed to toughen and transform hearts into strong independent/interdependent entities capable of “standing on one’s own feet” instead of relying on the love and adoration of another. From that “training” one could love another unconditionally.  This story I learned from a book called The Passionate Marriage.

Unfortunately that story created relationships that were more learning laboratories than nurturing really loving ones. Learning 24/7 is not necessarily a fun thing to do. Especially with your intimate partner.

Today my love story is more akin to real “unconditional” love. It says I have the capacity to love everyone because everyone (including myself) is love. More importantly, the most meaningful love for me, and the least capricious love, comes from within. Not from another person.

That kind of love leaves me free to be. More importantly, it allows my partner to be whoever she is too. It allows me to not be affected by the love or the lack of love I get or don’t get from another person. Which leaves me happy and less susceptible to bouts of dramas, disagreements and misunderstandings. These things still happen sometimes, but I’m far less rocked by them. As a result, my relationship is more calm, peaceful and more joyful, mainly because I don’t look in my relationship to find calmness, peace and joy. Instead, I look within, where calmness, peace and joy is available 24/7.

Your love story is creating your reality in relationships. What is your love story? And is it causing you to look for love in all the wrong places?

Posted on

MEN: Your beliefs matter

fullsizeoutput_2211If you’re trans-attracted and having trouble accepting that part of yourself, if you are addicted to trans-porn and surf such sites in the middle of the night, if you are dying to meet a transperson in person, or have, but only are willing to do so in private, then you are a victim of disempowering stories you have thought so often, they have become beliefs for you. And in becoming beliefs they shape your reality.

The same goes for any trans-attracted man who has one or more of the following stories going on in their heads:

  • Transwomen are hard to find
  • All transwomen are (fill in the blank)
  • Transwomen don’t like guys like me
  • I’m too (fill in the blank) to be attractive to transwomen
  • Finding a transwoman to seriously date is impossible

We’re not kidding when we assert the following: These stories and many others are creating the reality that perpetuates a life-experience (yours) wherein these stories are true. That’s the only thing making them true. They aren’t objectively true. If they were, we wouldn’t have been able to find and interview the people we have had on our show.

Think about that.

Your stories are powerful. No matter what they may describe (something you want, or something you don’t want) you will experience “reality” consistent with with the ones you focus on and believe the most. No exceptions.

So the answer to all your desires, not just the ones about transwomen, is to tell stories about what you want. It really is that simple. Well, there’s a little more to it, but that basically is it.

Posted on

MEN: YOU GOTTA LEARN THAT YOU DON’T KNOW IT ALL

Men. Your ego and your brain think they know how to connect you with the transgender woman of your dreams. And when you rely on them, you feel frustration and struggle because your ego and your brain have no idea how to answer the critical questions that make that happen:

Who is she?
Where is she?
How will I meet her?
When will I meet her?

So whenever you start thinking about that ideal trans woman you want, usually you feel frustrated or doubtful. That’s because in the absence of meeting her, you immediately think about the “how”, the “when” and the “where”. Then you start taking action in an attempt to figure those things out. You try online dating, bars, pride parades, etc. Instead of just letting things happen the natural way. Meaning: allowing the your Inner Being to cause a natural rendezvous between you and her.

The problem is, neither you, nor your brain, nor your ego knows the answers to the “how”, the “when” and the “where”.  And the answers (as you can tell when you read them) are exactly the answers you need to find her.

But your Inner Being knows. And the Inner Being of the woman you’re a match to knows too. Together, these to “meta yous” can work together to orchestrate a natural meet & greet. But not if you’re resisting the flow of messages your Inner Being is sending you that, if followed, will lead you to the same spot where she will be, when you’re there. Unbeknownst to you, this is exactly how everything you receive happens.

I know, you think it’s your actions, your direct doing that causes you to get what you’re wanting. But the “action” you take is the final step in a long process or orchestration. That long process is made much longer when you’re not paying attention and following your Inner Being guidance.

We went into pretty good detail on how to connect with your Inner Being in our recent IN YOUR FACE SHOW (see the video above). Listening to you Inner Being is one thing. Following the guidance in the right timing is another thing altogether. That last step is really important. The good news, all this can be learned and perfected. On the way so much evidence is given you proving the process is working. You just have to know how to recognize the clues.

Some of the most successful men have mentors, who help them become successful. The phenomenally successful follow their Inner Being, their inner voice and, over time, they become phenomenally successful. You can use that same guidance to chart your way directly to the trans woman of your dreams. Watch the show to learn more.

Posted on

Where’s your manhood?

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

And more importantly, who is defining it? Are you allowing other people, particularly your broke friends who are doing nothing really significant to define for you what manhood is? Are you allowing society to tell you what manhood is? Are you letting your family make that decision for you?

“No” you say?

Well, if you find yourself irresistibly attracted to transwomen, and you’re in the closet about that attraction, then, to put it plainly: you’re a liar.

We talked a lot about this last Monday night in our Facebook show IN YOUR FACE. The fact is, when you let others define what you are (men and transwomen alike) you life a life of shame and embarrassment. Instead, you have the option to be the courageous being you came into the world to be, be-damned what other people think. That’s your destiny.

Why are you letting other people dictate how you feel about yourself?

“I’m not.” You say. Really? So transwomen: why are you out seeking validation of your womanhood from a guy, from facebook, from craigslist, instead of going out and proudly living your life out loud, proud, and thereby finding all the joys of life you came to live? Why are you settling for in-the-shadows relationships, superficial sex-only relationships, or relationships that are otherwise demeaning?

Men: why are you allowing “what others might think” to keep you from being the proud human being you actually are, proud in all its glory, including your trans-attraction? For there is nothing about you to be shamed about. Especially your trans-attraction.

A man defines his own reality. He doesn’t let others define it for him.

The moment you begin to take back control of your reality-creation, you’ll be on your way to meeting the transwoman of your dreams. Every other transwoman you meet is a match to the shame-filled, creeper, down-low life your living.

And you wonder why you’re meeting skeezers, weirdos and gold diggers.

Up your game. Own your reality. Define what it means to be a man and fuck anyone who tries to tell you otherwise. THAT’S how you begin down the path of finding the transwoman of your dreams.

Posted on

DeVos becomes latest unlikely Trans ally

Betsy DeVos trans allyDepartment of Education Secretary Betsy DeVos recently joined a long-running list of trans-allies when she declared recently her department would no longer hear cases where transgender students were denied using the bathroom matching their identity.

WTF you say?

We have always asserted, and will continue to do so, that often those you think are the vilest enemies of transpeople, actually are allies. In a world where everything is always working out for everyone, there’s no such thing as an “enemy”. For even “enemies” foster fertile ground for getting what you want.

Take Trump, for example. Many on the left, and pretty much every transgender person in the United States, save maybe Cait Jenner, believes Trump is the vilest of enemies of the transgender movement. Yet, from our perspective, Trump’s presidential win, his administration and his policies are responsible for some of the most significant and proactive initiatives. Those initiatives will have long-lasting implications for the United States; particularly in the legislative branch, and in courtrooms and city halls across the country. For now, more than ever, we see person after person, who happens to be trans, running – and winning – public office.

What’s more, we see more and more transgender leaders throughout our society – models, CEOs, inventors, school teachers, school principals – coming out one after the other. Following them are scores of young people who are far more comfortable identifying out of the gender binary than at any time in the history of the country. And following them are man companies realizing the right side of the transgender issue is supporting transgender people.

These trends are sure to continue. As we have said before, conservative agendas are losing agendas. Progress will always prevail in the end. DeVos will not forever be head of the education department. Nor will Trump administration policies remain in place forever. Neither will The Donald.

Besides, there are far more interesting things to be focusing your attention on than what’s happening in Washington. A great place for your scrutiny: what’s happening in your head. I presume, since you’re reading this, that you’re either transgender, or trans-attracted or transamorous. If you fall into any of these categories, it would behoove you to think about why you’re still hiding the fact that you are trans, or that you find transgender people attractive, if that’s what you’re doing. With so much positivity happening in the country,  the time couldn’t be better for you to come out.

Besides, it’s highly likely if you do, those who matter in your life will embrace you. Once you embrace yourself.