Tag: transamorous men

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Give Up Defending Victims Then Watch Life Get Great

Photo by Dasha Urvachova on Unsplash

Every once in a while a transgender person will write us in anger. They don’t like when we say “you create your reality”. They don’t like it because they think we’re blaming victims for “tragedies” they experience.

Here at The Transamorous Network, we know everyone creates their experience, including tragic ones. So we are saying people create their experiences. Only there are no victims. And when a person gets this for themselves, they realize something powerful: They can create any reality they want, including one where nothing ever bad happens to them.

That’s our point in saying “you create your reality”. Instead of wallowing in unwanted experiences, why not create a life where tragedies don’t exist, and instead, your life fills with joyful experiences?

Today’s post unpacks the “Victim Blaming” trope. It shows why victim hood doesn’t exist as an objective fact. Then it details why no one need experience tragedy. While unpacking all this, the post offers strong arguments why anyone thinking someone “blames victims” should rethink how they’re thinking.

It’s not that the blaming-the-victim trope isn’t true. It’s just that claiming a person does that, severely harms the claimant. That’s because the person making that claim disempowers themselves when they claim “victims” exist.

In other words, they make themselves a victim thereby setting up opportunities to experience victim hood.

Let’s first unpack the idea that tragedies exist.

Tragedies: do they happen?

When a person stands in the belief that “victims” exist, that belief validates the notion that “tragedies” exist. No doubt events happen wherein great suffering occurs. Often, such events happen with little or no warning. At least it seems that way.

Situations happen all the time that one group or another calls tragic. Even our political leaders use that word in describing events that, indeed, seem tragic. Building collapses, earthquakes and other natural disasters, airplane disasters, pandemics, mass shootings, terror attacks, rapes, violent murders…the list goes on and on.

Suffering from tragedies happen. But need they?

From one perspective these events are tragic in the sense that it seems none of the victims asked to have that experience. They (the victims) just had “bad luck”, standing at the wrong place at the wrong time. The tragedy claims them. Then their suffering spreads to their survivors – friends and families. Those who experienced similar situations and those who sympathize with the tragedy through media coverage, a reenactment film, or social media suffer empathetically as well.

It’s understandable then, when someone says “these people manifested that experience” the vast majority of people will respond angrily. They will accuse the speaker of “victim blaming”. Then claim that “creating your reality” is “unmitigated rubbish”. Which is how one person answered a question about Law of Attraction on Quora.

And yet it’s true

“Why would a person choose to be in a terror attack, die in a fiery plane crash, get raped or murdered!?” These people will cry. “That’s totally callus and impossible. It’s irresponsible to say such a thing! Not only does it disrespect the pain and anguish survivors go through, it perpetuates rape culture, misogyny and a host of other evils!”

While this post responds to such arguments in great detail, these words, while accurate, can only go so far. The best way these things get understood happens through practicing creating your reality in your daily life. Results you produce offer far more convincing proof than words on a screen.

So yes, it’s true. When a person experiences something like a tragedy, they chose that experience. We explain here in great detail. So bear with this very long post.

Things happen that appear tragic. But do they happen to everyone, or only those who invite them? (Photo by John Middelkoop on Unsplash)

What are you?

When a baby comes through the vagina, and for now, every baby comes in that way, humans think that being is innocent. They believe it arrived for the first time. It knows nothing about life on Earth. The infant needs nurturing, education and such.

And while the thing (the baby’s body) needs nurturing, the inhabitant knows the deal. It brings wisdom, not innocence, to earth. Whether freshly out of the vagina or 80 years old, a human being represents an emanation from a being possessing vast capabilities.

That being stands as vast as its capabilities. It is eternal, having existed as long as All That Is has been around (it has never not been around). In addition to being eternal, that being also enjoys indestructibility, invulnerability and it exists in all dimensions simultaneously.

You, dear reader, are this being.

Again, words on a computer will not convince you. To know…or credibly believe this…a person must put into practice a process that proves what you’re reading as accurate. Telling positive stories does this. Evidence positive stories produce will, over time, provide such enormously convincing proof, you’ll give up your human experience, revealing what and who you really are.

I have arrived!!! When that baby comes through the vagina, and for now, every baby comes in that way, humans think that being is innocent. But it’s not at all that. (Photo: Alex Hockett)

The Sacred Forgetting

Back to our baby…

When this eternal, indestructible being looks into the dimension that contains planet earth, they see great potential. We won’t go into detail about that potential. We’ll only say the potential is so great, it is literally irresistible.

However, to “come into” this experience and experience it fully, the being must “forget” its true nature. Also, the being, in all its beingness, is too great to “fit” into this dimension. So in addition to “forgetting”, it also must “squeeze” a portion of itself into this reality.

This all happens in the birthing process, shortly before or shortly thereafter, depending on the being’s choices. Some call it The Sacred Forgetting.

When the being sees this reality through the eyes of its creation “the body” (the infant), having forgotten temporarily its true nature, the reality of earth is COMPLETELY OVERWHELMING. This can’t be overstated. For some, it is totally frightening. But the infant is still a creator, no matter how small or innocent it might look.

That’s enough about the baby for now. Now, let’s look at the Universe.

The wish granting jewel

First of all, all physical reality is an emanation of the eternal, indestructible being experiencing it. It has no substance other than that. Therefore, it is 100 percent subjective as an experience. It has no objective reality separate from an observer. And no observer experiences what another does. This graphic helps illustrate this. It’s taken from the book Seth, Dreams and Projections of Consciousness, by Jane Roberts.

The ultimate reality of physical reality and its relationship to the eternal, indestructible force or entity that you are. Your reality overlaps those of another, but the other experiences only theirs. And you experience only yours.

Since it is so that no one experiences what another does, the being emanating determines the emanation. In other words, reality exists as a projected emanation of what goes on “inside” the projector. The being experiencing the emanation projects the emanation, then observes what it projects.

This is crucial for the unfolding of All That Is. Because the unfolding of All That Is is 100 percent dependent on All That Is. “All That Is” is the vast collection of the beings described above. All That Is literally is a stream (like a water shooting out of a hose) of intelligent, awareized energy. That “energy” is what “beings” are.

Since beings comprise All That Is, their collective emanations constitute reality across all dimensions. Why is this? And why is it crucial? 

Everything plays a part

The reason reality is set up this way is because it facilitates “more and better”. More and better of what? More and better improvement, expansion, deeper unconditional love and appreciation. All those things are the purpose of the Universe. The Universe, therefore, exists in order to prompt or trigger these things.

So it is predisposed to these things because these things – love, improvement, expansion – are the basis of what intelligent, awareized energy is all about.

These beings could accomplish the purpose on their own. But it’s far more fun and immersive doing it across dimensional reality. And, since “improvement and expansion” are the name of the game, at some point way back in “time” these beings understood through their personal experience that “improvement and expansion” were more satisfying when they happened the way they do right now across space-time-realit[ies].

Now, we’re referring to the relationship between humans and the Universe. But the same dynamic exists between every instance of physical reality and the Universe. Not just humans. An ant enjoys a similar experience. So does a rock. Dirt too. Atoms too. The wind as well. These beings animate every instance of physical reality. Remember: you are one of them. That’s important.

So the Universe exists as a “process” whereby immensely powerful all-knowing beings use the “process” to expand into more and better. In doing so, everything becomes more and better. That evokes more and better, deeper feelings of love and appreciation, joy and empowerment among these beings.

Now let’s get back to that baby.

Physical reality on earth is an emanation of consciousness, consciousness being the limited version of the being’s experience while in a physical body.

Separation, illusion, insecurity

Human perceptions create the illusion of separation. It looks, though eyeballs and other senses, like physical reality is separate from the observer. That’s on purpose.

The human forgot what it is. So in human form, this god (what else would you call it?) perceives the world from a human perspective. From that perspective, for example, it looks like there are other “humans”, some of which care a great deal about this baby, some who don’t care at all. Some might even want to harm it.

But initially, the baby is surrounded by humans offering care. This situation – birth conditions, including parental type, economic circumstances, ethnicity, religion and more – are conditions all decided and agreed upon. Every being involved, including the baby, agreed it would unfold the way it does.

In other words, no randomness occurs when a baby comes through that vagina. All conditions are known and everyone involved agreed to them. The baby is a creator. It always was before, it still is now and will forever be.

Abraham telling it like it is from Ester Hick’s daily email.

Dependency begins

The problem, and this is where all problems start (if you want to call them that), is the forgetting. Not only has the baby forgotten, so has its parents, the doctor, the nurse, the uber driver, the children who are now the baby’s siblings. Even though they all agreed in advance, all of them forgot that’s what happened.

So now, the baby comes in (or out). Reality’s bewildering nature so starkly shocks, it causes insecurity in the baby. The baby realizes that, in it’s forgetting and now human perspective in a tiny body relative to others, it must fend for itself.

But it has allies. Its parents, the nurses and doctors, midwives or doulas, in those initial days, care for it. It realizes then that it must rely on these larger humans to give it what it needs.

That’s problematic in a way because it sets up and reinforces something that is not happening but looks like it is: that the baby is dependent on bigger humans, humans who are separate from the baby and could, at any time, withdraw their support or offer dangerous expressions such as anger…and “punishment”. So one of the first things babies learn is how to manipulate adults into caring for them.

Onto emotional adulthood

From that early moment on, the now human has concluded (not learned), or adopted from others’ conclusions, that the world is separate from it and filled with others, some of whom care, but most who don’t. The human also concludes that they must be careful.

They must be careful because at any moment, those who don’t care might come and do something that will harm them. Or those that do care will turn into those who don’t. That’s scary.

Even those with the best upbringing feel this way. We’re generalizing a bit for brevity’s sake. Generally, hardly anyone on the planet grows up free of the following emotions:

  • Insecurity
  • Anxiety
  • Worry
  • Doubt
  • Disappointment
  • Blame
  • Frustration
  • Annoyance
  • Boredom
  • Impatience
  • Jealousy/envy
  • Fear
  • Pessimism
  • Anger
  • Grief
  • Dispair
  • Depression

Occasionally, they’ll experience more positive emotions. But because humans generally exist in a state of insecurity, the emotions above represent their dominant life experience.

Now, we’re ready to talk about manifestation.

Where “reality” springs from

Without emotions, it would be very difficult to manage one’s manifestations. There are other factors, but emotions play a big role.

Remember, reality is an emanation that has no objective substance. It’s there to show the being what it has going on “inside” so it may steer to “more and better”. In doing that it gets more love, joy and appreciation.

So when an internal condition exists, that condition eventually gets reflected “out” into the emanation (reality). This is on purpose so the being, now in a human body, can tell what’s happening “inside”.

Because it is in a body, only a portion of its energies are in the emanation. “The emanation” includes the body. So its focus, in the beginning, is kinda fully engaged in negotiating through and around in the emanation, aka physical reality.

That’s why a human who doesn’t know what you’re reading believes the emanation is real. Beliefs associated with that belief tell the human that the way they get what they need happens through manipulating matter – people, circumstances and events. Doing that requires near full attention. And it’s exhausting.

Remember, reality is an emanation that has no objective substance. It’s there to show the being what it has going on “inside” so it may steer to “more and better”. In doing that it gets more love, joy and appreciation.

Linking thought and reality

Now, another word for the word “condition” used four paragraphs above is “vibration”. Everything is vibration. Science has proven this, but please, don’t ever let science be the final word. It knows very little.

Physical reality as an emanation is composed of vibrating frequencies or conditions operating in a harmonic. That harmonic allows human senses to translate the vibrating frequencies the way they do – into objects and space. But those frequencies have their basis in the same “place” from which beings emerge through a vagina into the world. So conditions or vibrations are constantly moving forward, changing and expanding within the being that now is partially in a human body.

Reality springs as an emanation from thoughts people think. These thoughts harmonize vibrationally with others, and increase in frequency until they create the reality each person sees. (Art by me)

How manifestation works

When that internal vibration or condition changes, the emanations must change, matching the internal change. Then the body’s senses translate those changed emanations into changed conditions, circumstances and events matching the internal frequency change.

That’s what happens when some tells stories. “Manifestation” occurs. And manifestations are ALWAYS occurring because people constantly tell stories.

Every human does this. Every human exists eternally. It squeezed itself into a body. Each human being agreed to all the circumstances making its experience “real”. And, each person cooperates with all the others in agreement.

So physical reality happens on purpose. It serves expansion, more and better, and deeper levels of unconditional love which is the basis of All That Is. All That Is, of course, springs from the collective stream of awareized energy, the “being” which all humans are. Which is what you and we are.

So “manifestation” is a fancy word for the process by which internal conditions (stories) get projected into external emanations which match those internal conditions through vibrational harmonics, which are under the direct control of awareized, eternal, indestructible beings choosing to incarnate in a physical body. The process is designed to facilitate greater levels of unconditional love, a kind of evolution for these beings, of which you are one.

A detailed explanation of how manifestation works. (My graphic)

Manifestation: It is law

Any time a person puts their attention on their physical reality, then formulates a story about what they’re putting their attention on that’s different from what they’re observing, they change the frequency of their internal vibration. When they do that, the emanation they’re looking at will change to match the story because the story represents a shift in vibration, vibration setting up conditions for the emanations. All other conditions being equal THIS MUST HAPPEN.

The same is true when a person simply changes their beliefs or changes their mind, or makes a statement inconsistent with observed reality. If they hold that vibrational harmonic long enough, their reality must change to match it and it will change to match it unless the emanator (the person) fails to hold the changed vibrational harmonic.

And this is why everyAnd this is why everyone who says manifesting is rubbish is right. Their story, their internal vibration says “[manifesting or Law of Attraction] doesn’t work”. What do you think their reality is going to show them? It will show them it doesn’t work.

By now you should logically arrive at the following: there are no tragedies. But we’re going to offer more to help you see the logic of that.

The Universe is predisposed to good. We already said that. Love, more and better all represent good. But there seems to be some “bad” going on. Why is that if the Universe is predisposed to good?

It’s because all that “bad” being created is on purpose and designed to lead people to the good.

Now think about that. Doesn’t that make the “bad” actually good?

Free will means a lot

It does. But people enjoy free will. Nothing can happen they don’t want to happen. They sit in the driver’s seat. They also forgot everything you’re reading. So they don’t know they create their reality and their reality is supposed to be filled with fun, good, happy love.

Go back and look at that list of emotions. Most people reside in the combination of these. Even those who say they don’t.

Emotions are early indicators of vibrational harmonics or stories. And emanations (reality) ALWAYS match the internal, incipient condition(s) as late stage indicators. Emotions tell you whether or not the emanation you’re about to experience is going to be good or not when it comes.

But when it’s not, that’s a good thing. That’s because external reality exists to help people understand whether they’re going in the direction of more and better, or not. And since every human enjoys free will, no one but the individual makes the choice.

So if I (as a human) am focused on stories that are predominantly negative, my reality will reflect that back to me. Not as a punishment or something bad, but as a clue telling me “look at and do something about your internal reality (my stories)”.

But I’m free to not do that. If I don’t, my reality will keep emanating what I’m putting out.

Tragedies emerge from free will

If I’m in insecurity or fear most of the time, or anxious, for example, the world around me will reflect that back to me. Not as punishment, but so I can know that my stories need attending. And if I don’t do that, if I keep focusing on conclusions that are negative, I will get more and more of that, in greater intensity, including more and more circumstances reflecting my internal state back to me, like a positive feedback loop.

It’s hard to believe, but a person who is raped had strong vibration happening inside, that created earlier warnings in him or her that, had they heeded them and changed their trajectory earlier, they would have avoided the rape altogether.

The same is true for people experiencing strong emanations such as terror strikes, disasters and mishaps.

Again, you must put the practice to work in your life to convince you of this. These words will not do it. But evidence you create will.

A person in tune with their “higher knowing”, we call that one’s Broader Perspective, enjoys a kind of GPS mapper. Their Broader Perspective routes them around such experiences to the degree the person tells positive stories. Better said: one’s Broader Perspective constantly guides people to everything they want. Since hardly anyone “wants” to experience tragedies, such things aren’t included.

Tragedies happen in the mind of observers and the lives of those who invite them in. That means you needn’t experience one. (Photo by Dasha Urvachova on Unsplash)

When things “go wrong”

We’ll offer another perspective on “tragedies” of which there aren’t any 😊. That is, when such things happen, great good always comes from them, but not always immediately. Hopefully you see this. One of the greatest tragedies, World War II, spurred some of the greatest advances in many, many fields, for example.

The point is, you can’t know, in your human form, why something happens to another. But it’s for certain what’s happening is on purpose and benefits the entity experiencing it. And, when that happens, the benefits spread to everyone else because everyone else is cooperating with everyone else as described above.

So nothing is ever going wrong, even though it may look like it. Conflicts, disagreements, protests, wars…it all represents eternal beings working out vibrational harmonics such that the end result is more and better, best described as an eternal, unconditional state of ever-becoming more…love.

The purpose of existence is simple: creating more love. (Photo by Fadi Xd on Unsplash)

Tragedy disempowers

No one ever need experience “tragedy”. Certainly such situations happen. But they need not be seen as “tragedies” as, surely, they are not. And, no one, absolutely no one, need experience something like that against their will. That doesn’t mean such situations don’t happen. When they do, people involved got there while not paying attention to what they created.

There always will be people struggling to gain their footing, and, in the process create emanations for themselves that look “tragic” to others.

The problem with concluding they are tragic is, when you do that, you tend to enflame your own sense of insecurity, which, if you hold long enough, will manifest into your own tragic versions.

Or, you can take the hint your emotions are sending you, shift your attention to something better-feeling and experience only increasingly positive experiences. That’s the nature of life’s promise to all beings. It also fulfills the basis of the practice my clients and I explore through The Transamorous Network.

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Settling In Relationships: The Great Pandemic Of Our Times

Photo by Adrian Swancar

A Transamorous Network Client sent a text this week which offers a wonderful clarifying perspective. It shows distinctly why people settle in most areas of their lives, having given up on their dreams. 

Some people push back when I say nearly everyone settles, especially when it comes to finding a partner. But when one understands how the Universe works, and why people act how they do while not knowing how the Universe works, one realizes why settling is indeed the greatest pandemic of our times.

And not just in relationships.

Why no one wants to settle but nearly everyone does

Wayne Dyer once wrote “you’ll see it when you believe it.”

That statement accurately reflects how the Universe works. A person who talks themselves into believing something, will, in time, discover that something to be “true”. No matter what it is, or how crazy others think it, a person who believes will see what they believe.

This is how the Universe works. It constantly reflects back to all of us what we believe. It does this so we can adjust our beliefs so they align with what we want, then receive what we want. No matter what that is.

Knowing this is power. For knowing this, one can create any reality one wants. All one needs is sufficient belief.

My artwork

But the universal experience of “emergence” (commonly called “birth”) is, when a person comes through a vagina, the experience of physical reality, combined with their forgetting who and what they are, creates bewilderment. In that bewildered state, the eternal being, now human, flails a bit for stability. Usually, that means leaning on others who came before. Initially that’s usually parents.

Indoctrination begins

But after a while it also includes teachers, what one sees on TV and peers. It also includes the immediate environment and personal experiences. Having forgotten their eternal nature and origin, for humans, physical reality trumps internal reality. As surroundings take precedence, it appears that reality exists separate from the perceiver. That’s not ever the case. But that’s what it looks like.

So the perceiver begins to “believe what they see”, not realizing what’s really happening; that they are seeing what they believe. Much of what they see and what they learn from others, who are equally if not more out to lunch about what’s really happening than new arrivals, appears to be that the world is random, scary, limited and requires struggle and pain.

In that world, one must “get real”, stop living youthful fantasies, get a job and carry their own weight. This applies not only to earning a living, but to every other aspect of life. Including relationships.

So the result of all this flawed thinking is people give up on their dreams. Or they adopt mediocre goals from others, or parrot what others do. And since mostly everyone has “gotten real” and given up on their fantasies, it’s easy to see why people would settle for something less than their dreams.

No wonder so many live ordinary lives. And no wonder so many settle in relationships. That deftly explains the divorce rate as well.

The “dream” nearly everyone trades their authentic being and desires for. No one comes through a vagina explicitly wanting this. But nearly everyone compromises, then wonders how they got here.

My client’s experience proves the rule

“Alonzo” stood in exactly that place as he shared his thoughts this week. He texted a defense of his limited beliefs while not realizing that’s what he did. What he thought he did was explain “what’s true”.

But what’s true is whatever someone believes long enough. And usually, that means what someone adopted from others, from statistics, or observation, none of which has anything to do with getting what one wants.

Here’s what he texted.

My client “Alonzo” defending limitations inherent in his beliefs. Beliefs born from too much observation and not enough creation.

I know many, many trans-attracted men share similar ideas/beliefs because such  men contact me regularly and say similar things.

But again, these things they say have no relevance to what they want. But they do create realities wherein what they want doesn’t exist. It’s no wonder then that they experience frustration and loneliness or, worse, hopelessness in finding their match.

Thinking such thoughts/telling such stories prevents such men from having what they want. What happens next is they settle, choosing to be with a cisgender woman, who can’t possibly (and shouldn’t) satisfy their desires. Then both the woman and the guy live a dissatisfying relationship until they separate in anger, frustration and resignation.

I’m not making this up. Two past clients lived that example. So I know many more have as well.

Some transgender women tell their version of these same stories. Which is why they live sad, lonely, frustrating lives. They’ll settle for a female partner, even though they prefer a male one. Or they go through dating “hell” online, where they kiss many, many frogs. Hell, all kinds of people tell such stories. Transgender women aren’t the only ones trying to solve their relationship dilemmas through online dating.

So let’s look at my client’s text, unpack these beliefs, then create new ones more consistent with what’s wanted. It’s not hard. And anyone can do it. Because everyone came into the world with this ability.

The way out of mediocre

Statistics offer a convenient analysis of a population. But every statistician will tell you that the closer to an individual member of that population, the less accurately that analysis will be. Statistics also don’t explain anything. They just describe a group of things or people based on measurable information.

Of course, we’re not using statistics when referring to how humans create reality. In this case, such things as stats become 100 percent irrelevant. Individual life experience is 100 percent subjective, meaning, no two people experience identical experiences. Nor do they ever conclude similarly.

What’s more, experiences an individual might have depend 100 percent on what they tell themselves. That’s the only thing – their beliefs – creating their experience.

So the problem with the belief that transgender women “…make up 0.6% of the population, and far fewer than that actually are physically attractive to me, are mentally stable, and like the type of sex that I do…” Isn’t that it’s untrue. It may be true.

But is that a truth that helps this guy or hinders him? Obvious it’s the latter. Because looking at this statement he can’t help but think something like “the odds of me meeting a girl I’ll like are infinitesimally small.” That thought will quickly cause feelings like hopelessness, discouragement, pessimism and despair. None of these will lead this guy to his match.

But there is a way out. If you’ve read this blog regularly, you know what it is. It starts with telling better stories.

Finding your lover needn’t be frustrating. But it is when you’re telling stories that suck and you base your chances on the odds. (Photo by Adrian Swancar)

Don’t listen to the odds

The problem with Alonzo’s first belief is, it limits in the extreme what’s available. Again, if he believes this tiny sliver of the population is the only sliver available, he can’t possibly feel anything other than hopelessness. Especially if he has no idea how to connect with that tiny group.

More important though is this. When a person believes this way, they limit in the extreme what the Universe can do for them. The Universe doesn’t give a rip about that statistic. It is a wish-granting jewel. Everything is possible through it.

But the creation process is controlled by the creator. Not the Universe. So if the creator doesn’t believe what he or she wants, he or she can’t enjoy what’s wanted.

Since Alonzo believes these stats as “true”, what the Universe delivers is what he believes. Again, the Universe can’t deliver something we don’t believe is possible, which is why Wayne Dyer makes his assertion that you will see it when you believe it. Alonzo doesn’t believe he can meet his match. So he doesn’t.

The power of Alonzo’s text, isn’t the statistics. It’s his belief in the statistics. That’s what creates the “truth” of the numbers. Not the “fact” that the numbers are true.

There’s a lot of universal truths in Star Wars. Including this one. Via GIPHY

No one needs a target rich environment

Nearly everyone believes they need a huge group of single people from which to sift through and find their match. But no one needs a large pool. Few people want to simultaneously have a relationship with more than 1-3 people. Most people want only one person. Do you really need a pool of people from which to get that one?

Well, you do need a target rich environment if you have crappy aim! That way your chances are better of hitting the target. But since everyone creates their reality by what they believe, or what stories they tell, each person can precisely and easily move through situations where they meet that one person who knocks their socks off.

But if that person believes their match is hard to find, then guess what? They’re hard to find.

My client says he’s leaving the door open. But is he really? No, he’s not! The door is barely cracked open if he thinks his match exists among only .6 percent of the population. Meanwhile Universe stands ready with more than 100 ways Alonzo can meet her. Alonzo can’t access any of them though believing as he does.

Instead, he could tell stories which cause hope, optimism and even positive expectation to pour out of him. Such stories will automatically make him feel enjoying his desire is possible, even easy. Here’s what some might sound like:

  • How I feel when I tell this story doesn’t feel good
  • But I must be here because I can’t be anywhere else right now
  • I haven’t always felt this way. I remember other times I felt better
  • That means I don’t have to be stuck here
  • I can change what I think and believe
  • Since I can change it, I can accept that I believe this right now
  • I like thinking that I can change my thoughts/stories
  • That I can change my stories feels better than feeling stuck
  • Since I can change my stories, I can accept the stories I currently have.

These stories are a start. The first step always involves getting to a place where one accepts where they are, instead of resisting where they are. Anyone unhappy with where they are is resisting where they are.

Taking the next step

The next step: create stories that dispel or dislodge stories that create not-so-good feelings and replace those icky feelings with better-feeling ones.

  • There may be few out there, but I only need one
  • I can tell better stories than those I’m telling
  • I would prefer better-feeling stories
  • Maybe it won’t be as hard as I think
  • Maybe there are transgender women in my town
  • I really don’t know because I really haven’t looked
  • That feels true
  • I like the truth of that. Really, I haven’t looked
  • I can accept that I haven’t tried looking
  • Accepting that feels better than accepting how hard I thought it was before
  • What if I don’t have to try looking?
  • I like thinking that I don’t have to try
  • Perhaps there’s hope for me
  • I like feeling hope
  • Hope sure feels better than powerlessness
  • Maybe she is out there
  • It’s nice feeling some hope

So in a few brief, deliberately chosen statements, a person can go from powerlessness, to relief, to acceptance, to incipient belief…maybe even hope. And from there, it’s all down hill (in a good way), so long as the person doesn’t reinvest in old beliefs.

Stories that prevent you from getting the love you want often sound “true”. But that doesn’t matter! What matters is, is the story you’re telling tune you to what you want? These sure do not! Unless you want to remain single and unhappy. (My artwork)

Get on the upward spiral

Getting out of the momentum of disempowering stories feels hard until a person tries. But feeling powerless, hopeless or pessimism can change in an instant, or at most, a few minutes. Look around you though.

Likely people who don’t know what you’re reading surround you. So they look at the world, draw conclusions about what they see, see realities they create consistent with that, then say “yep, see, I’m right. The world is this way.”

Just like Alonzo.

The minute they tell themselves they’re right, they lock in that conclusion as a belief. Then the world ends up that way. A trans woman only meets chaser men. Men can’t find transgender women who aren’t whackos or prostitutes.

For example, Alonzo told me in our subsequent session that he “hasn’t seen a single trans woman in my area.”

“Of course not,” I said. “You can’t when you have such strong beliefs in the way creating a reality consistent with ‘there are none in my area’.”

It can be challenging convincing someone creating a reality they don’t want, that the reality they do want is as easy to create as that reality they have, the reality they don’t want.

But once someone learns how the they, their Broader Perspective and the Universe work together to create reality, I find these people start on a positive upward spiral leading to everything they want.

All my clients eventually enjoy the upward spiral of positive stories. The better stories they tell, the better they feel, then the better life gets. Then they want more of that, so they tell even more positive stories and life gets even better. (My artwork)

Get what you want

They can’t not get what they want because their Broader Perspective and the Universe want them to have it. The only reason they don’t have it is because they’re in the driver’s seat. This Universe and their Broader Perspective can’t give them what they want when they aren’t focused on that. The Universe and their Broader Perspective only gives the person what they attend to. Which is why beliefs are so important.

Beliefs are how humans attend to what they want. The problem is, most humans use their beliefs to attend to what they don’t want. Which is why so many don’t get what they want. Or they get a smattering of what they want, among a crap ton of things they don’t want.

Getting what’s wanted is supposed to be what’s happening here on Earth. The heaven everyone thinks comes after death is right here on Earth. But each person must create it for themselves. No one does it for them. Not even the Universe or one’s Broader Perspective.

Joy in life comes from figuring out how to do that then doing it deliberately. And the more one does it deliberately, the more joyful they become. Then their world must reflect back to them that joy, because that joy comes from joyful thoughts and thoughts create reality.

It’s not hard to do any of this. Everyone is doing it right now, today. They’re just doing it in the wrong direction which leads them to a life of settling.

I say, do it deliberately and show yourself how easy it is. I can help with that.

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Stop Looking And Find Love Easy

Photo by Laura Seaman on Unsplash

The best way to find the love you want is by giving up trying to find him or her and let them come to you.

I encourage all my clients in this direction because it’s fun, it’s easy and it works 100 precent of the time. You can’t say that for online dating. It’s crazy so many people try that route, spending thousands in the process, when so few succeed.

But telling positive stories about your life guarantees you’ll meet your match. That’s why I guarantee it. And it will happen in a fun and easy way.

Universe stands ready 

A client proved this recently in her own life. Even I was surprised how easy it happened. It’s a textbook example of how cultivating a positive story outlook works.

This client, let’s call her Diane, meets with me each week 1:1. She takes the practice seriously. She’s diligent about telling positive stories about everything. No wonder her life overflows with amazing things happening.

Then again, they’re not amazing. It’s just what happens when one takes control of their life by telling stories about life consistent with the kind of life they want.

Buoyed by things going right, Diane pretty much stopped thinking about how, when or where she’d meet her match. Eventually she gave up looking for him through online dating sites. That off her mental plate, she also stopped blocking the Universe from giving her what she wanted.

Kissing a lot of toads

It’s easy to stop thinking about not having the love you want when your life fills with great experiences. The paradox of that happening is, because you’re focused on the great things happening, it’s easy to become a match to your ideal partner.

Matching that you hear impulses that, when followed bring your match to you. In other words, the Universe will lead you right to the spot where your match is waiting.

Otherwise, you’re trying to do it yourself and, in trying to do that from your disempowering stories about dating, about your date-ability, about the whereabouts of your match, you end up on wild goose chases. Goose chases where you end up kissing a lot of toads. Sorry about mixing metaphors there!

But loving life, having fun and enjoying your own company, you turn into a cooperative variable in the equation that sums up to you and your match meeting. That’s what happened with Diane.

In fact, she didn’t even have to go anywhere. He came to her. Here’s how that happened.

Kiss that? No thanks. I’d rather be single, happy and let my perfect match come to me. (Photo by Laura Seaman on Unsplash)

Creating the Charmed Life

“I got a notification on my phone the other day,” Diane explained in our session. “It was a Facebook friend request from someone I didn’t know. I don’t accept friend requests from people who don’t have a picture on their profile. But my impulse said to accept it, so I did.”

An “impulse” is something everyone receives all the time. It’s an idea to act coming from their Broader Perspective coming in response to a desire they’ve “put out” that their Broader Perspective received.

The impulse, when followed, leads to the unfolding manifestation of that desire. Should the person follow the impulse, they will eventually rendezvous with that fulfilled desire.

As one tells more and more positive stories about their life, they release resistance which creates “noise” that interferes with receiving impulses. As resistance subsides though, impulses come in loud and clear. The next step is following the impulses.

This is how the Universe, one’s Broader Perspective and the individual create “manifestations” culminating in the Charmed Life I write about here each week.

Impulses are the basis of the Charmed Life. But it all starts with being happy, i.e. the guaranteed results of a Positively Focused practice.

Not your job?

A human’s job is not to make things happen. That’s the Universe’s job. Broader Perspective’s job is to lead each individual to their fulfilled desire, which the Universe fulfilled.

So what’s the human’s job?

The human’s job is to create the desire which turns the Universe into more. Then the human receives the fulfilled version of that desire by following its Broader Perspective impulses. The receiving is always surprising and delightful. As such events fill one’s life, one discovers their worthiness, invincibility and the Charmed Life I mentioned above.

In this way, life becomes easy. Most people don’t know this. That’s why so many run around trying to make things happen while finding it very hard to make things happen that way! It’s why so many people give up on their dreams, or compromise on dreams and live lackluster lives. It’s also why so many are depressed, anxious, tired and alone too.

Diane developed a habit of hearing her Broader Perspective impulses with a determination I have yet to see matched by any other client. It’s no wonder then that her life overflows with examples of self-fulfilling desires, desires that delight and surprise her.

The impossible possible

The person making the Facebook friend request had a photo of a car on his profile because he was a car buff. Diane received an “impulse” to accept the request because of what happened next.

What happened next blew Diane’s socks off. Diane said the guy said he saw her profile and immediately wanted to get to know her. He thanked her for accepting his request, then started chatting her up. 

The chatting continued every day for a week. Turned out he was an oil rig worker, educated, happy and very interested in getting to know Diane.

But at our next session, she told me she was concerned because she didn’t think this guy, let’s call him Jeff, knew that my client was transgender.

That’s right. Diane is transgender. Most transgender women have many disempowering stories about guys, which is why most transgender women remain single, alone, lonely and mad.

When Diane told Jeff she was trans, Diane said Jeff “paid it no mind. He thought I was cisgender, but he said me being trans didn’t matter!”

Anyone who is trans, or knows transgender women knows how rare such an exchange is. Some might say such an exchange is impossible. And here was Diane, a trans woman, having exactly that experience. Being Positively Focused pays yo!

Most transgender women fence themselves behind stories that disempower themselves and demean what they want in a partner. No wonder they remain single, alone, lonely and mad. (Photo by Velizar Ivanov)

Negative stories, negative reality

Most of the time, according to transgender women who contact me, the men they meet are chasers. They’re looking for “chicks with dicks”, or, when they think the woman is cis, then find out they’re trans, they disappear.

Again, a transgender woman never need experience any of that. But it does happen when, again, transgender women tell negative stories about dating, themselves and men.

For example, another client I’m working with who is transgender currently enjoys a long-running, online, long distance relationship with one guy. She’s actually seeing a few men as a result of gradually changing her stories.

But she needs improvement, evident in this exchange.

“Even when I’m at my worst,” she said in one session. “He keeps coming back.”

“Why do you think he keeps coming back?” I asked.

“Because he just wants me to fuck him,” she said.

What a disempowering story.

Of course, there’s no way a guy would want to keep talking to her because HE LIKES HER. And, what do you think the story “guys just want me because they want me to fuck them” says about the transgender woman thinking such a thought?

Well, it demeans the transgender woman as much as it demeans the men she meets, thereby kiboshing any chance of men even having a chance with her!

Every belief one thinks or expresses or even allows in their awareness carries an associated vibration which creates realities consistent with it. Some of the most damaging are thoughts one thinks about one’s self. (Photo by Sherise VD)

Diane’s dates improving

Diane enjoys a different trajectory. Having changed her stories about subjects related to meeting her match, her men encounters improved dramatically.

First she’d get cat-called at bars. Then men wanted her for “quickies” in the parking lot. Then, guys would approach her, but ghost her after that first encounter. After that, men started sticking around, but they weren’t the caliber of men Diane wanted.

Now, here Diane is getting the furthest forward version of what she wants. And she literally didn’t even leave the house to meet him! Nor did she spend any money dating online.

Furthermore, Diane wanted a guy who had more going for him than “hustling”. Many men she met in the past were street hustlers. Mostly they were into the drug trade and generally getting into criminal mischief.

But Jeff has a steady job. More than that, he wants to take Diane hiking and fishing, as he enjoys the outdoors. Sounds pretty normal, right? But to Diane, it’s not.

“That’s something I’ve been wanting to do more and more since starting becoming Positively Focused,” Diane said. “That he wants to take me out to do those things shows me this is all working out perfectly for me.”

That love you want is right there in front of you. If you can’t see it, or you feel you’re not making any progress towards it, it’s likely you have beliefs which create realities where the relationship that is there, isn’t there. It’s a problem I can help with. (Photo by Toa Heftiba)

What’s the future?

How this situation turns out makes no difference. The main thing happening is Diane is improving her dating stories. She’s seeing her improved stories creating connections reflecting to her that improvement. Diane acknowledges she still has stories she wants to improve, so Jeff isn’t the final match, offering everything she wants.

How does she know that? Because she’s still evolving as a person and in what she wants. As her life improves, as she uncovers what she really wants and goes after that, she becomes more of her authentic self.

As that happens, she becomes more confident and more certain of who she is. Meanwhile, she’s meeting this guy amidst that transition. So Jeff represents a match to who she is currently. Other men stand ready and waiting for her as she becomes more.

And that’s why I urge clients not to be impatient when creating their reality. For the longer a person enjoys what they have, without thinking what they have – especially with partners – is The One, the more they will see what they have improve more and more. Why? Because they are becoming more and more.

Diane’s example shows how easy finding a lover happens. The less energy and attention one puts on that, the more they just enjoy life, the easier finding that person happens.

But when someone thinks finding a partner is a challenge, a problem or impossible, that’s exactly how it will be. Thoughts create reality.

Why not think thoughts that make your ideal reality easy? If you’re ready to know how, I got your back!

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How Happy Stories Turn “Bad” into Great Good

Photo by Kenan Reed on Unsplash

Transamorous Network Clients increasingly find the more positive stories they tell the more their life becomes the Charmed Life I write about.

Everyone lives a Charmed Life. But when a client regularly tells stories that feel bad, those beliefs turn the Charmed Life into something else. Such stories make life blasé, boring, ho hum, kill-me-know kinds of lives.

But positive stories make even negative-appearing situations turn out fantastic. I write about many situations from my life experience that prove this on my other blog. A couple examples can be found here and here.

Today’s post perfectly illustrates how Charmed Lives turn bad situations into blessings. This one comes from a Transamorous Network transgender client we’ll call Natalie.

Evidence in unlikely places

Since beginning her practice, Natalie immediately saw powerful evidence proving how telling positive stories works. So she immediately doubled-down. She wanted even more evidence that positive stories create reality. Of course, the Universe delivered more and more as Natalie refused to tell any stories that didn’t feel good. As a result, she moved through her world as if on cloud nine.

In the midst of another manifestation I’ll write about later, Natalie created yet another extraordinary experience of abundance and surprise. And it all started with a crime.

One evening she went to her favorite bar. There she met a young man with whom she connected. She felt strong resonance for this person. Why, Natalie didn’t know. They weren’t a dating match. He was far too young. What this person brought with him though was an excellent experience which made Natalie an even stronger believer in “stories create reality”.

Natalie and this young man, let’s call him Rocco the Rascal, for reasons you’ll understand in a bit, hit it off immediately. At some point the two hit it off so well, Natalie felt she wanted to take this young man under her wing. She felt like Rocco was a long lost cousin or something, she said.

They spent the rest of the evening at the bar chatting and connecting. Then, as the barkeep started closing the place, Rocco asked Natalie if he could borrow her car, a late model Mercedes. He wanted to buy some weed, he said.

I’m not sure I would have done it…(Photo by Albert Vincent Wu on Unsplash)

Positive story prevails…or does it?

By this point, Natalie was super high-flying in her vibration. She felt happy, at ease and joyful, she said. Nothing indicated anything bad on the horizon. So when Rocco made his request, Natalie thought “sure!”

Then she had a brief negative thought: “I shouldn’t let this guy borrow my Mercedes. I don’t really know him!” But she brushed it off with a more positive story, whipped out and handed over her keys.

Rocco never came back to the bar. That was a Saturday.

The following Tuesday, Natalie came to her session extraordinarily happy. She had a great week, she said. Then she hesitated just a bit before introducing what happened Saturday.

“Perry, I feel kind of stupid about what I’m about to tell you,” she said.

“Well that’s not an empowering story to tell, is it,” I said.

“You’re right.” Natalie said. Then she told me the story. But as she told me the story, her mood changed. She went right back to a high-flying, powerful place. She was excited about how she felt, what she did, and, even though it was Tuesday and she still had not heard from The Rascal, she was eager to see how this would result in something really positive.

To be honest, I was quite taken by her positivity. Here she was with no car for three days, and she still found positive stories to tell about what happened.

Crime reveals abundance

Then Natalie changed the subject. She told me about the mechanic she takes her cars to. She described him as having a penchant for finding great deals on cars. Natalie said she talked to him about what happened, after filing a police report. Natalie told her mechanic she needed another car, but didn’t care what kind, so long as it got her from a to b.

“Girl!” Her mechanic said. “You belong in a Mercedes. I’m going to get you another one. Don’t you worry about it.”

The following Tuesday Natalie and I met in session. I was high flying as usual and Natalie was over the moon, bursting at the seams to tell me what happened.

Turned out her mechanic delivered on his promise. He found her a late model Mercedes at a reasonable price that Natalie actually liked better than the one Rocco took. She was so pleased with how this turned out.

Then, later that same week, Natalie called me with an update. The police recovered her other Mercedes and it was in fine shape. Now Natalie had two cars. More than she needed. She marveled about how this worked out perfectly for her. Now she could sell her older Mercedes and keep the newer one, which she loved.

Even though Natalie felt great at how this all turned out, she still couldn’t believe how it turned out. She got everything she wanted, including more evidence she asked for, in this crazy cool way showing the Universe always works out in her best interest.

Seriously, how many stolen cars get recovered? Some sources say the chances of getting a stolen car back are less than 50 percent!

When you tell positive stories consistently, life becomes the Charmed Life making everything in life all good!

Pick thoughts that feel good

For Natalie, what ordinarily might look like a terrible thing turned out amazing. And, she showed herself that when she follows her Broader Perspective, which communicates with her constantly, she needn’t worry about the results because the results will always come out great.

The Charmed Life is there always. But when one learns how to see it, it shows up in abundance. And the more one remains Positively Focused, the better life gets. Everyone on the planet today came here expecting that. But it’s easy getting knocked off track.

The key to staying on track is choosing a focus that includes only those things that feel good to look at. That includes thoughts you think. Do that and the world becomes your oyster. And you – and only you – get to say what the pearl inside looks like.

What’s your version of abundance look like? That’s the Charmed Life. Where the world bends to your will, life is fun and abundance is normal.

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A New Client Raves Over His Great Results

Photo by Janita Sumeiko on Unsplash

Some transgender people – it’s never trans-attracted men – get triggered by how I support the transgender community. They don’t realize their getting triggered has nothing to do with me or what I do. It’s all about their insecurity, triggered by stories they’re telling.

I often respond by telling such people my clients and the community in general benefit hugely from what I offer, evidenced by many people offering thanks, appreciation and examples of how it helps them. Nearly all my clients stick with me because what they get in transformed lives far exceeds how much it costs.

This is why I guarantee the results I promise.

My most recent client offers a great example. He’s a trans-attracted man. After his very first session, he created for himself exactly what I offer and guarantee everyone gets, trans or trans-attracted. Here’s what he texted me:

My newest client gets an extraordinary life experience after only one session.

Everyone gets similar results, although details look different. That’s only because all physical reality is 100 percent subjective. It’s unique to the perceiver. No one shares their experience with another. Which is why so much disagreement happens. Everyone thinks other people are having the same experience they are.

There’s no reason for a transgender person – man or woman – to go through life not getting what they want. Same for trans-attracted people. The only thing keeping such people from what they want is the person themselves.

The trans experience and the trans-attraction experience are human experiences. Both are wholesome and good. I show folks how to get to that wholesome goodness story-wise. Then, in time, their world must reflect that back to them. Including bringing them everything they want.

I don’t care when some transgender women hate on me after reading a Transamorous Network post. They literally don’t know what they’re talking about.

But trolls gonna hate

Sometimes a transgender woman will read me saying transgender women own the lives they create, then tell me I’m victim blaming. But they don’t understand what my clients do. There are no victims.

But if a person believes there are…they make themselves a victim as much as those they pity as victims.

I don’t care when some transgender women hate on me after reading a Transamorous Network post. They literally don’t know what they’re talking about.

But my clients do. That’s why they rave about results, while sticking around. They get a taste of their power. Then they want more.

I know what I offer helps transgender people and those who love them. I know because such people tell me so. That’s why I do what I do. I came here for this.

So when a client raves about results they produce, I focus on that. Those who get negatively triggered, who’ve never even tried to understand what I offer, let alone put it into practice, get the cold shoulder.

I tell them to take their triggered attitudes elsewhere. Find things to read they agree with. Leave me alone.

That way I have more time to serve those ready to live their lives as the creators they came to be.