transamorous men - The Transamorous Network

July 4, 2023May 20, 2023

Here’s Why We All Want Love So Bad

Because it is all that we are. Including transgender and trans-attracted people. And if transgender and trans-attracted people understood this as their life experience, we wouldn’t be so desperate to get love. Love would come to us. With none of the drama, heartache or loneliness.

We want love so bad because we’ve been – as one client put it recently – entrained into bogus stories. Stories that say we’re not enough. Some bogus stories say we’re incomplete if we’re not in a relationship. Others say we should be lonely if we’re not in a relationship. Some even go so far as to claim something is wrong with us if we’re not seeking coupledom.

There are far more bogus stories than these which have us desperately seeking love. The irony of all these stories is how far they’re off the mark. The love all of us – myself included at one time – desperately seek outside ourselves is a lot closer than we think.

And it’s THAT love we all really want. That love is self-love. Self-love is the experience of one’s self as enough. But it goes even farther than that. It is radical adoration for all that we are…and all we’re becoming. Even though we haven’t yet fully become that.

Do you want to be right or happy?

This self-love tangibly expresses the reality that we each ARE love, flowing ourselves constantly into a human body. Clients who stick with me for a while come to this realization. When they do, it’s a profound shift in their life. It usually comes after they create things or “manifestations” consistent with their dreams.

In other words, the shift happens when they create a life consistent with positive stories about their life and what they want. That usually doesn’t happen until they’re ready to give up stories they tell creating a life they don’t want.

Part of that journey requires giving up being right. It’s “true” that many men are chasers, cheaters or won’t date a trans woman in public. It’s “true” that many transgender women are bat-shit crazy, cold diggers or call girl/OnlyFans obsessed. So both transgender women and trans-attracted men get to be right.

I always ask my clients though: Which would you rather be, right or happy? That’s another bogus story we hold tightly to. “I’d rather be right than happy. I must face the facts. I must tell it like it is.”

A lot of people prefer being right. Including trans-attracted people and trans women. I find that a shame when happiness is so easily had.

The problem with telling it like it is is, when we do, we keep getting more of “like it is” than what we want. The same goes with love. Other people, society, social media and our life in general train us into believing this love that we ARE doesn’t exist. So we seek it out “in the world”. But we do that through stories which create less love and a lot of “telling it like it is”.

That’s why so many of us are unhappy, angry and lonely.

Love is good. Even when it hurts.

Love is awesome. It’s so good for us. Being in love with another, whether human or animal, gives us a glimpse of what life can be when we consistently tune in to the love that we ARE.

We as love are unconditional. That means we love everyone and everything. Not so with loving a partner, or even a pet. The split second our love interest does something we at all that disappoints us, we’re out of love. We’re in annoyance, frustration, anger or fear. Or worse…betrayal.

Real love isn’t compatible with those emotions. Real love keeps on loving. Even when the object of our love acts “unlovable”. That’s why the love we are keeps loving us. It is unconditional. So when we fail to love, it still loves us. That’s why it feels so bad when we fail to love.

Abraham saying being in love is key to getting what we want.

Love brings us what we want easily

But that love that loves us even when we’re not loving is more than just a feeling. When a person taps into themselves as that love, not only do they no longer NEED love from another (animal or person), they find a richer, more satisfying, more consistent love. That love, of course, is the love they ARE. It’s unconditional, always there and feels more deep than any love anything outside us can give.

The cool thing about that love, the love we all are, is, living from there, everything else we want comes easily. Partners, lovers or whatever, it doesn’t matter. That’s because our world is a reflection of our inner state. When we’re unhappy or lonely, it’s very hard to get the love we want. Because when we’re unhappy or lonely, we’re not a match to love. But when we’re in the love that we are, then the world must reflect that love back to us.

What does that look like?

It looks like a life where everything naturally works out. Where life just gets better and better.

It doesn’t happen all at once. Change happens gradually. But proof it’s happening is obvious if we know where to look. I teach my clients where to look. Once blind, they now see evidence everywhere. And the more they see, the more they eventually find the love they are. Then they get the love they want.

Want to know more? Let’s talk.

June 27, 2023May 30, 2023

The world is getting better for transgender people

Every step made in supporting the transgender community benefits the community. And… those out there protesting angrily for and against the community benefit the community too. It’s hard to see how that’s happening though, if regular meditation and spiritual expansion aren’t part of our lives.

Without spiritual expansion it’s easy seeing a lot going wrong and people “against us” as against us.

But a lot is going right. In fact, one could say the more strident “opponents” of the transgender community get, the more positive the world becomes for transgender people. And for people who love them.

At The Transamorous Network we’re doing our part to realize the better world we know is possible. A world where transgender and trans-attracted people can freely, openly come together in love. In love as expressions of the greater spiritual beings they are.

I spoke with a transgender woman recently who gets this. We met one day in the middle of a business district. It was such a magical coming together. What really made it special was how Phoebe saw the world. Like me, she sees the magic behind physical phenomena. She can’t stay in that perspective consistently. But she’s there enough to know everything is working out.

I like knowing everything is working out too. Evidence I see supports my contention. In fact, the more I see the world working out for trans and trans-attracted people, the more excited about the world I get. It’s a wonderful place from which to view the world. I’m empowered, and eager for the future. That’s why I share what I share. In doing so, I’m positive what I share helps…a lot.

Benefiting more than the trans community

Which is why I’m writing this post. Lately, I’ve received quite a few messages from people who are not part of the transgender community. But they are allies with friends and family they want to support. Or they’re wanting to expand their understanding.

Some, however, don’t know where to start. Then they somehow find us. Like this person, who found what I write on Medium:

The world works in mysterious ways. It also benefits from high levels of redundancy. When it comes to the transgender community, that means untold numbers of people working to create the better world for transgender people.

What we resist persists and gets bigger

On April 6, two African American Tennessee legislators were expelled from their legislative seats. Not long after they regained their seats for racist reasons. White Tennessee lawmakers hoped expelling these men from the State House would make them an example.

But the spectacle white lawmakers created backfired. Both expelled legislators, Justin Jones and Justin Pearson not only regained their seats, they also became national heroes. But that’s not all. They gained tens of thousands of new followers on social media, and massive increases in political funding. Funding for both themselves and for the left.

There’s a lesson here. It’s this: we can’t push against something and not cause it to persist. Indeed, push hard enough and it will GROW.

That’s what’s happening with the trans community. As people push against us, they unwittingly foster more support for us. In other words, the more those who push against us push, the better the world will get for us.

I wish I could successfully encourage all trans community members to not worry about the future. If they could suspend their worry, they’d discover what I see: the world improving for us all. And those fighting us are helping us. Just as those white lawmakers in Tennessee helped both Justins.

But I can’t reach everyone. I can only reach those ready to hear what I have to say. That’s alright by me.

June 20, 2023May 30, 2023

How I Easily Connected With A Magical Transgender Woman

I met a transgender woman today “in the wild”. No dating sites, no struggle. The meeting was effortless, just like I promise my clients how they’ll meet their matches. But this wasn’t about me meeting my match, although she kind of was. Instead, it was was an awesome example of how easy everyone can get what they want. That is, if they tell the right stories.

Every experience represents a match. Life experience always is an outward reflection of one’s inner being state. Another way of saying that is our life reflects stories we tell.

So this experience tells me my inner state is full of wonder! The meeting happened so naturally. So naturally, the experience delighted both of us. But what happened at the end was more than I expected. It literally blew my mind…in a good way.

Here’s how all this marvelousness went down:

It happens when you least expect it

Today (May 4 ), I went on a walk, which I usually do daily. While walking through a business neighborhood, I saw a person coming towards me, about 200 feet ahead. I enjoy the transgender version of “Gaydar”, which usually makes it easy for me to spot transgender people. So I knew, even from a distance, she was trans.

But there was something else I felt besides my usual trans-attraction. Something more was in store, I felt, though what that was I couldn’t say.

Situations like this have happened many times before. Moving around town, minding my own business, I’ll suddenly come across a transgender person. In the past, such experiences caught me off guard and speechless. But over time, I resolved not to be caught off guard and let me speechless. Even though they happen when I least expect it, I resolved not to let the surprise shut me down. Instead, I promised myself I’d remain open and alert. Alert so I can offer what comes to mind. Usually that’s words or encouragement. Or something I might say which lets them know someone appreciates them being on the planet.

Often the person will appreciate me doing so. Sometimes, not so much. I’ve gained a sensitivity these days to know which response I’ll get. Knowing this, I can choose to speak. Or not.

So this time, I was ready. I knew something cool would happen. But I didn’t know it was going to be as cool as it turned out to be.

As natural as breathing

As we converged on each other, we locked eyes. She looked directly at me with big, brown beautiful eyes, eyes I think that also realized something magical was happening. She had indigenous markings on her face, wore bohemian garb and her long brown hair pulled into a long tail over her shoulder.

I said hi. She did the same. The connection was palpable, the magic electrifying the space between us. After we passed one another, I felt a strong urge to look back. Just like the scene in Meet Joe Black between Brad Pitt and Claire Forlani. Minus getting killed by New York Traffic, of course.

After going another 50 feet or so, I did look back. It was no surprise that at that very moment, she looked back too! So I turned around and headed back to her. Closing that distance, I felt an even greater urge to talk with her.

Meeting your match is as natural as breathing. That is, if you’re telling positive stories about a lot of subjects. Do that and it’s literally impossible not to make the connection. When it happens you know exactly what to say. You can’t blow, it in other words. Meanwhile, the other person, equally taken, willingly plays their part as the rendezvous unfolds.

The best way to meet someone

This kind of experience is far superior to online dating. The joy, freedom and spontaneity of meeting your match “in the wild” online dating can’t hold a candle to. Which is why nearly all my clients eventually prefer meeting their match in the wild rather than online. Besides, that online experience sucks for most people!

Phoebe, as she calls herself, and I enjoyed an initial, brief but intense conversation. I learned she was headed to buy wine at the grocer nearby. Friends of hers were throwing a party in her honor as she’s planning to buy a new pick-up truck. I asked if she lived nearby. Yes, she said. She pointed vaguely in the direction of a home I used to own in this neighborhood.

I didn’t ask where, exactly, she lived. I did tell her I felt a strong kismet about our meeting. She agreed. Something told me an important unfolding was about to happen. I told her I knew what that was, but also said I wanted to keep that to myself.

I actually thought that important thing was her being trans and me being transamorous. That was part of it, but it wasn’t the “main course”. That was still on the way. Even so, at this point, Phoebe’s and my energy mesmerized us both. We couldn’t get enough of each other.

But I had to finish my walk.

So, after that short rendezvous, I asked to give her a hug. She agreed. We hugged, then went our separate ways. I didn’t look back this time.

About three blocks later, the main event hit me like a bolt right between the eyes….

The awesome set up

About a year ago, I had lunch in this same business district with a friend, Mark. After lunch we went for a walk through side streets paralleling the district. Mark and I share a fondness for tiny houses. So it wasn’t too surprising that we came upon a cute little tiny house community. Both of us were stunned at how cute these little homes were. Each one was different but together they created an eclectic mix of eccentric design.

Two of the cottage like tiny houses Mark and I came across.

As we passed these homes, I saw a transgender woman walk into the unit on the left in the photo above. At that time, I thought to myself, “I’d really like to see that girl again and I’d like to know what that place looks like inside…”

Little did I know back then I had set myself up for something wondrous…

Ask and it is given

The Universe always delivers on our desires. We ask, and the Universe delivers. But to receive the delivery we must be there to open the door. That means we must be a match to receiving what it is we ask for. This explains the purpose of telling positive stories. The more positive we are about life, the more we match things we ask for.

We’re always asking. And often, those things which we receive easiest, happen because we don’t think too much about them. In other words, we don’t have as much resistance about what we’re asking for. With these tiny houses and the transgender woman, I made a casual request, not really expecting anything. I just thought it would be nice to see this girl again, and get a tour of those cottages…

So as I walked those three blocks after meeting Phoebe, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Phoebe lived in that tiny house! I just knew it in my bones. This message showed up so clearly in my head…not as a thought I was thinking, but as pure intuition. And THIS was the reason for the rendezvous: It was the manifestation (two really) of my expressed desire made a year ago!

At this point I was so thrilled by this I had to tell Phoebe. So I doubled back towards the grocery. I got to the grocery in perfect timing. For as I rounded the corner, she had just come round from the front of the store. She saw me and smiled, then crossed the street. It was obvious she was happy to see me.

“I’m glad you came here,” she said, not surprised.

A beautiful rendezvous

I told her the story of my walk with Mark. I didn’t tell her the part about touring her home. She confirmed she did, indeed, live in that tiny house. I asked to walk her home, to which she agreed. During that walked I learned we had a lot in common. Like me, she’s a Veteran. She believes in and lives her life mainly from spirit, as I do. We identify similarly and use highly unique, identical pronouns. And, of course, there was that energy. Energy born of her being two-spirit, I learned, and me being transamorous.

I asked for her number, which she readily gave me. Then we arrived at her tiny house. She told me the story of how they were built by a gay contractor specifically for Veterans and disabled Vets. When we arrived at her front door, she invited me in. I wasn’t surprised of course, but pretended I was. She said it was the least she could do since I walked her home.

The place was pretty cool. But what was even more cool was how this all unfolded. It was a perfect demonstration of how effective telling positives stories is. Everyone possesses the ability to create a reality matching their wildest desires.

I’m in the process of creating pretty wild desires. I’m seeing evidence of those desires bearing fruit. What’s really cool is seeing my clients experiencing similar results in their lives. For their experiences add to the assertion that we all create our reality. All that’s needed is telling stories consistent with what we want.

The rest is up to the Universe!

Want to know more about how this is possible? Leave a comment or write me directly.

Post script

I met Phoebe again the following weekend on a perfect, sunny day. We spent three hours together, talking about our lives, things we shared, things we don’t. It was a natural unfolding. And, I knew the fullness of this relationship reached its peak when I toured her home. For there are things about her, and about me which make us not a match for anything other than the wonderful rendezvous we ha and maybe as a budding friendship.

Of course, I’m not at all disappointed by this outcome. It’s actually perfect. A perfect stepping stone to the next wonderful rendezvous I’m sure is on the way…

June 13, 2023May 30, 2023

A Transgender Woman’s Dream Love Life: What It Looks Like

Despite what so many transgender women claim when they write me, this “Your stories create your reality” business really works. Those saying it doesn’t with no evidence to back their claims, and no effort put in to testing it, don’t know what the hell they’re talking about.

Meanwhile my TRANSGENDER clients are finding empowerment, joy and satisfaction knowing they create their reality.

Case in point: Casey (Not her real name). It’s taken her a year and a half to discover how powerful she is. Yet, in that 18 months, she’s realized what I say in this blog over and over: Everyone creates their reality.

Instead of complaining that I’m “blaming the victim” or “saying it’s their fault” for shitty experiences people create, Casey put the practice to the test. She tested it in the only place real results could convince her: In her personal life. And in the 18-months not only has she completely transformed her dating circumstances, she’s changing a whole lot more in the process.

The most prominent change is in her soothed disposition and her belief that she does, indeed, create her reality. Let’s look at how this all started for her.

Men are a threat

When she first contacted me, Casey felt attraction to men. She wanted to be married to a man. Yet, any man that gave her any more than passing attention, Casey interpreted it negatively.

She thought the men would wage violence on her. She thought men looked at her as a “man in a dress”. When men complimented something about her, she would overlook the compliment and get stressed over they guy’s attention.

The first example she gave me in our preliminary session was at a grocery store parking lot. As she walked from her car towards the store, Casey said a guy followed her, “very slowly” in his car.

“I got really scared,” She said.

“What did you think he was going to do?” I asked.

Casey said “I don’t know! I was just scared.”

My first attempt to begin changing her perspective was asking her a question she would have never considered in that experience:

“How do you now that guy staring at you and following you in his car wasn’t attracted to or fascinated about you?” I asked.

The question stunned her.

She never considered the man might have positive reasons for eyeballing her. She, like many transgender women, was too steeped in the statistics. And while stats have some merit….THEY’RE JUST NUMBERS! Anyone who understands statistics knows that when one looks at an individual data point, statistical probabilities almost totally break down. Even statisticians will tell you that.

What’s more, everyone is creating their own reality. Meaning, no one is beholden to a collection of past creations others have created, which is what stats are.

Many people, including transgender women, think statistics say something about their future. They don’t. (Photo by Lacie Slezak on Unsplash)

The stats don’t matter…unless you let the

But transgender women will quote stats until the cows come home about how much at risk they are. They’ll exclaim how “true” they are. And then live in fear.

Not Casey. She was willing to try something different. Why? Because everything else wasn’t working. I wish my clients didn’t wait until they hit rock bottom. But sometimes that’s the only time a human will try something new.

After weeks of sessions, Casey began entertaining more positive stories about why men stared at her. She also started telling more positive stories about her dismal experience with online dating.

She had terrible experiences. Much like many transgender women will tell their friends about. Trans-attracted men were dicks, Casey would say.

“They always text me when drunk. They always want to see my dick or share theirs. I don’t wanna get involved with that shit!” she exclaimed.

I asked if she could come up with other reasons why trans-attracted men would do such things. What reasons could trans-attracted men behave from which would cause them to behave the way they were, I asked.

It took her a while, and a lot of coaching. But over time, Casey began to come up with more positive and empowering reasons for behaviors she’d experience with men.

Those reasons had her feel more compassion and understanding for trans-attracted men. As her feelings about the men softened her experiences gradually started changing.

A big shift

Casey really wants to meet a man in the small town she comes from. Right now, she lives in a big town. She believed at one time that a man who would date her let alone marry her wouldn’t dare live in her hometown. I told her that was bullshit because the universe will give a person anything they want.

Casey also wanted to meet men in person. Men who would take her out on dates. Most men she met online lived across the country or hundreds of miles away. Almost all of them ghosted her after a short online courtship.

But as her stories improved, the men stayed around longer. They expressed more interest in her as a person. Some revealed their own struggles as trans-attracted men. In short, Casey started to see this shift in the men she was meeting (with some terse pointing out on my part).

All this time, I told her her reality was changing as she changed her inner reality. I regularly pointed indications of her improved mood and the improving quality of men she met.

Until one day a man reached out to her online. He lived in the same town as Casey. He wanted to take her out on a date. It was a lot of what Casey asked for. Then, before that guy could followup on the invite ANOTHER guy, this time living about 13 miles outside Casey’s town wrote. He was better than the first guy. But the first guy was extremely sweet.

More evidence…

After a series of long online conversations, this guy, let’s call him Jason, went dark. Casey started complaining about yet another guy ghosting her. But she quickly caught her negative story. She wanted him to reach out, but was also wanting to reach out to him out of insecurity. She felt that if she reached out to him, he’d reach back out to her.

The problem with that strategy is her insecurity would speak way louder than her words. So the guy would pick up on that and give her more of what she’s focusing on: her insecurity. And therefore not reply. I strongly suggested she not take any action. Instead, I suggested she just be open to hearing from him. That’s what she did. And here’s what happened straight from Casey’s phone:

It’s interesting to note something I always beat into my clients: What another person says or does is NEVER about you. It’s always about THEM. But a lot of people, transgender women included, will make things about THEM when it’s really NOT.

A guy sending dick pics is NOT ABOUT YOU.

Someone you’re interested in you ghosting you IS NOT ABOUT YOU.

Everything someone does – even if it’s a good thing they do – is ALWAYS about them!

As icing on Casey’s cake, check out the text the guy sent her the next evening. A vast improvement from her past experiences:

Where many trans-attracted guys are when talking with transgender women. Yet, most won’t be honest about how they’re feeling.

This text blew Casey away.

A remarkable shift everyone can experience

This series of events seems extraordinary. It’s not though. What happened here with Casey can happen with ANY transgender woman. It doesn’t matter what her circumstances are because the Universe is ready to deliver to everyone anything they want.

And it IS delivering. What’s keeping the delivery from happening is the person wanting it. That person blocks the delivery with stories inconsistent with what they want.

Notice what Casey said in that final text. She’s expressing empowerment and happiness on a subject many transgender women experience insecurity and fear. Every transgender woman can experience what Casey here expresses. All it takes is a little willingness to tell different stories.

A whole lot more goodness happened with Casey since this guy reached out. But that’s for another post. If you’re wanting experiences, dramatic shifts like Casey’s, in love, or any other subject, you can have it.

And I can help. Contact me and let’s get you going on the road to your lover!

June 6, 2023June 4, 2023

How To Turn Toxic Anti-Trans Rhetoric Into Great Results

It’s Pride Month!

Typically we don’t celebrate such things. But this year, something happened demonstrating a perfect application of what we talk about all day, every day here at The Transamorous Network. And it’s related to Pride Month. So we wanted to amplify the goodness.

While scrolling social media we came across an interesting meme. Mixed Martial Arts Competitor Fallon Fox posted something our friend Kari reposted. The post refers to a pride month artistic rendering of the words “pride” and “month” mushed together. The result is the rainbow-colored word “demon”.

Fallon alludes to some kind of controversy about this meme. We didn’t realize what the fuss was about. It’s a cool meme, which cribs from art created by queer artist “Art By Veya”, who is selling the design in various styles and colors of t-shirts on their website.

So we looked up the controversy. Apparently the kerfuffle started with conservative media member and QAnon believer Lauren Witzke. She posted the meme on Twitter. She thought she was “owning the libs”. As with all attempts to push against something, though, it backfired.

Instead of putting fear in the LGBTQ community, her post acted as free advertising for the creator. It also generated a flurry of “good news” LGBTQ articles proclaiming how great the tweet was:

But that’s not all! There are a lot of other positive things happening in response to Witzke’s lame attempt. Let’s check them out.

Stories create reality

First, notice Witzke’s attempt to cancel the community did exactly the opposite. It’s a perfect example of “Whatever you push against, you amplify”. In other words, whatever you put your attention on will grow. It happens that way because that’s how our participation in the Universe creates more of the Universe. So it’s to our advantage always to pay attention only to things we want to see more of. Or tell the most positive story we can about what we face.

Second, notice all the positive stories journalists, gay folks, and even Fallon Fox are making of Witzke’s tweet. These people are finding empowerment and…let’s admit it…great humor in Witzke’s fruitless attempt. These are perfect stories that will create more and better experience for everyone involved.

Finally, let’s take a look at the artist who created the work. It’s a certainty “Art By Veya” had NO IDEA this kind of thing would be responsible for pushing them into a whole other notariety level. A lot of folks are reposting and posting anew about this seemingly coincidental experience. “Art By Veya” is literally getting famous from what looks like a coincidence. And, according to the artist, her sales have seen a sharp increase.

Only these kinds of things aren’t coincidence. More of these kinds of things can happen for all of us when we tell positive stories about our lives and what we want. In fact, such experiences happen around us all the freaking time. But if we’re too head-down, complaining about life, bored or anxiety-ridden we miss them.

Why? Because such events are high-vibration events. And if we’re not at the frequency of such events they might as well not happen. Because we’re not a match to them. So they happen, but we don’t experience them.

Create your version of this goodness

Which is why we encourage everyone reading this that if you’re unhappy with aspects of your life, you can change them. No matter what it is. Our clients are showing themselves that they can make their lives better. So can you.

Don’t have a lover and want one? You can have one. Your landlord evicted you because you’re trans? You can fix that too. Nothing is outside of your power to change. But you can’t keep telling stories about what you don’t want and expect it to go away. Witzke and other anti-trans people are proving this over and over.

So are transgender women and trans-attracted men, by the way. Notice the more the community complains and push against anti-trans people, such as J.K. Rowling, the more they double down on their opinion. We can’t get what we want by pushing against what we don’t. Witzke’s example proves this as do many others.

So tell better stories. Tell EXCELLENT stories and watch what happens. It won’t happen overnight, but change awaits your discovery, and your delight (hey, that rhymes!). The only price you must pay: the price of feeling better about your currently situation.

Need help doing that? We’re here.