trans attracted - The Transamorous Network

July 14, 2020

How Getting What You Want Works

Editors note: we’re borrowing this story from our sister organization Positively Focused because it is so good.

My 1:1 clients show how easy getting what they want is. After just five sessions, the Universe demonstrated to KJ here how he creates his own reality, thereby getting what he wanted – a table saw – in the most delightful way.

I know, and my clients are increasingly knowing, when I tell stories about things the way I want to see them, my life shapes itself to those better story versions.

But it’s not magic. There’s a process. Once mastered, it makes living fun. KJ here is on the way to mastery.

I know everyone can live life happy. Everyone can have all they want. By telling the right stories, one realizes life is supposed to be not only fun, but also include desire after desire being fulfilled. I show my clients how to have this kind of life.

Doing this is fun for me because I have this life. I love seeing the Universe, acting to confirm my stories, as it coordinates events so that everything I want, large and small, comes into my reality.

“Everything” includes clients who love this way of living, like KJ here, coming into my life so we can play together as we both get what we want.

July 7, 2020September 8, 2020

Letters@The Transamorous Network

Editor’s note: In this series, we’ll highlight conversations with our readers/viewers. We think folks will benefit from these conversations. All names are made up to protect everyone’s privacy. This particular exchange we are sharing because we strongly believe the narrative expressed by the writer has value for trans-attracted men, as well as transgender women who are capable of being compassionate towards women impacted by men struggling with their trans attraction. Trans attraction is serious business and is NOT A FETISH. It has long-term impacts for everyone involved. We at The Transamorous Network understand this and have compassion not only for the men, but for the women (both trans and cis) impacted by their short- and long-term decisions.

SECOND WARNING: This exchange contains material that may be highly offensive and triggering for transgender people. We strongly suggest that if you are triggered by content that may be perceived by you as invalidating or erasure, you should NOT read the following.

“My wife never measured up because she couldn’t. She wasn’t trans.”

How fucking sad this statement is. Do you have any idea how much this destroys the woman who tries to measure up? To the man dressed as a woman and her husband who cannot admit his sexuality.

Forgive me, but I resent these men who want to call themselves women. Maybe my resentment is displaced for my husband whose attraction to these men dressed as women has utterly destroyed my self-esteem.

I’m not sure where to place my anger – for these men who are GAY and dress/transform into women so they can be with men OR for these men who are GAY who enjoy being with men who dress/transform as women but are confused by their sexuality and attempt to live a “straight” life.

My husband and his denial have utterly ruined my self-esteem as a woman and wasted a good amount of my life to be in a genuine relationship. I am angry, hurt and frankly bitter towards the porn industry that introduced him to these men. My life is destroyed and my heart is broken.

Meena

Hi Meena

I understand your resentment, your anger and frustration. I also understand your unacceptance of the people for whom your husband is attracted to.

How did you come to this website? What were you searching for? If you’ve looked around our content, you’ll notice something (although this may be extremely hard to hear from where you currently are): your self-esteem isn’t ruined, although I know to you it feels that way. At the same time, since you believe that it is, it is true for you: your self-esteem is ruined.

But it’s also not.

Just because you believe it is ruined doesn’t mean that truth is objectively real, like separate from your thoughts. You can have a quite-intact self esteem AND, believe it or not, still love your husband, even though you two may no longer be together.

I get though how that feels so out of reach right now.

There’s another reality in which you both have gone on your individual way, and along those paths both of you are happy. No resentment, no bitterness. Everyone happy.

Someday that will be your truth. But I get that right now, it’s not.

TTN

Dear TTN

Thank you for your thoughtful response. Forgive me but I think it is easy for you to respond in this way because you are living on the other side of the coin. While you talk about your wife in this article, do you really know how deeply this affected her?

Is it easier to brush it away as incompatibility or just both parties are happy now. I really think this is a delusion to help men (like you and my husband) to feel ok about the choice you have made. After nearly 20 years of marriage, I am devastated. I truly believe that my entire marriage has been a sham and that i must not be pretty enough, feminine enough or good enough. Your response makes you feel better for the choices you have made. I believe my husband is a COWARD who destroyed my life and self-esteem in order to live a facade of a life he thought he should.

So, I’m supposed to be ok because now he has found himself and can be in an authentic relationship. I think this is what you guys tell yourselves to make yourselves feel better for the TRUE women that you destroy. We are left in your aftermath to pick up the pieces and try to put our lives back together and find some sense of worth again.

I found your site after searching up the issue in a desperate attempt to find understanding and comfort at the sham of my last 20 years.

My only response to both you and my husband is I hope it was worth it. I hope denying your attraction at the expense of another human being and destroying that person so you could be with your transsexual [SIC] was worth it. I hope it was worth it that i became suicidal. I hope it was worth it that are children now live in a broken home. I hope it was worth it that I now require anti-anxiety and antidepressant medications in order to function. God, I hope my peace of mind and life were worth it.

Meena

Hi again Meena,

Rather than replying at length here, I would like to offer this: let’s talk on the phone or via Skype or Zoom where we can see one another or at least hear one another. I know that were we to talk in real time, you might find enormous relief from these feelings you’re experiencing and the actual physically real experiences you’re having.

It’s not an attempt to silence you here in the comments section. As you see, I’ve posted your comments verbatim, immediately and unedited. It’s more that, despite what you’re claiming here, I really do understand what’s happening with you and with my ex-wife and with your former husband. And, it could be helpful for you if we shared that knowledge together in real time.

This is a fee offer Meena. And I’m willing to talk with you as long as or as many times as needed.

Perry

Hi Perry,

Thank you for responding to my comment and the offer to talk with me via phone/skype/etc. I apologize for posting my comments on your site and appreciate your thoughtful and compassionate responses.

I don’t wish to talk with you at this time as I am under the care of an AASECT (American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists) and am currently working on keeping myself safe. I am fearful that talking with you may push me further towards my self-destructive behaviors. At this time, I am working under a contract with her so I don’t need to be hospitalized for my suicidal ideation. Please forgive me, but I believe talking to you would only further my desire to find quiet and peace in my mind.

My husband’s lies and betrayal have frankly devestated me and sense of safety and security. I may find forgiveness for him eventually but right now I am simply working on surviving for myself and my children each day. I fear talking to you about this issue will only validate my feelings of worthlessness – as you are like my husband and have given up your marriage for someone you found better and more attractive.

I don’t see where you could bring me any comfort. I wish you and your dating network all the best and hope you find success – hopefully not at the expense of other human beings.

Meena

Hi Meena,

I think you’re presuming what my intentions are, and that’s ok. I only know that I could help you find peace and calm, mental and emotional clarity and then empowerment pretty much immediately. That’s why I was offering. Conversing with me wouldn’t “push you towards more destructive behaviors”, instead, it could quite quickly reconnect you with your feelings of empowerment, security and knowing; the exact opposite of what you have expressed as a fear.

But I understand where you are, not because I’m trans-attracted and divorced, but because I understand other things you and I (and everyone else) shares.

Just so you know, I didn’t leave my wife because I found a trans woman. My wife divorced me because she found other men she preferred. It was a great move on her part and I don’t blame her or vilify her for her choices. And no, I currently am not with a trans woman. I prefer to focus on my growing enterprises.

Hopefully this provides the clarity it was meant to offer. The offer I made earlier still stands should you ever choose to act on it.

As for your comments on The Transamorous Network, you don’t have to apologize at all because your comments, as painful as they may have been to share, will help more people than you know as they seek their own understanding and freedom in the new reality we all find ourselves in.

Be well Meena.

Perry

Dear Perry,

Thank you for your kind and compassionate response. I feel that you are a very caring and empathetic person who is trying to help me.

I’m not sure I am in a place to find empowerment. I have an 18 year marriage that is a sham. I have been married to a man who was sexually attracted to something other than what I can offer. We have struggled with sex for 18 years – he always claimed a lower libido that me – and I am so stupid that I tried for so long to try to be what he said he wanted and liked. I discovered his transattraction early in our marriage and I allowed him to convince me that it was just a fetish and that his primary attraction was to cis-gender women. After all this time and recently discovering some sexting activity on his part (while recovering from breast cancer none the less – but who needs real breasts when your husband prefers the implants attached to a body with a penis), I realize I have been in denial because I love him and he is the father of my children. He wants to be with a tranny – though he says he never has had sex with one – but at different times in his life he has met ones he found attractive.

Never the less, as a cisgender woman, I can tell you that transsexual women maintain a certain masculinity that is extremely obvious to real women (because they are NOT real women) – no matter how much surgery or hormones they have had. As a result of being married to a man who is transattracted, I have begun to worry as a CISGENDER FEMALE – are my features masculine? Do I look like a tranny? Is that why he was attracted to me? Do other people think I look like a man dressed as a woman? I have lost all sense of self-confidence and esteem as a woman as well as my sense of safety and security.

I think it is easy for you to chalk this up to well, both parties can now be happy. He can be with a transsexual and I can be – I don’t know – because I can’t imagine that another human being would want to be with me – (i must look like a tranny and my husband of 18 years is attracted to MEN – albeit dressed like women with breast implants and a shit ton of make-up). Right now, I see no happy solution to this. I am so glad you can find the sunshine and rainbows in this. I’m sorry but after 18 years of marriage, this is destruction of another human being because he is too macho to admit to himself, his friends or family that he likes men who dress as women! I found your site in a desparate attempt to understand and frankly, reassure me that he actually does just have a fetish and truly is into REAL women. Your site only confirmed my worst nightmare. I am lost and devastated.

You can keep your site going and kid yourself that all will be well for men who are into trannies and destroy their marriages in order to indulge in this sexual fetish. And frankly, it will – despite all the women it destroys and leaves in the aftermath. How could you really make a difference? Save two lives? You should focus your efforts on younger men who are struggling to understand themselves – before they enter into a heterosexual relationship – and help them enter into relationships for their TRUE nature. This would save so much destruction and possibly some lives. You see, the only people who come out on top in this scenario are the men you help to find their TRUE authentic nature and marry, date or have sex with trannies all the while destroying those women who have committed to them and thought they had a husband who loved them.

I apologize for my hostility and anger – I am still searching for peace and answers – and your site has provided me with a horrible ugly truth that is very hard for me to accept. I kept searching for answers that lead down a different path – one that confirmed my marriage, confirmed that I hadn’t married a man who preferred to be with MEN, confirmed that I am an attractive, desirable and worth while woman deserving of a relationship and not some pathetic hideous woman who can serve as as a facade/sham for a man who truly is into MEN.

I thank you again for your compassionate response to me – as I know my thoughts and ideas are very attacking of your entire endeavor.

My only hope is that my pain might help save someone from this horrible experience and ultimately save their life.

Meena

We offered Meena a free live engagement to help her. To date, she has not responded.

This exchange shows how serious this is for everyone involved. If you’re trans attracted and feel shame and embarrassment about this natural part of you, we encourage you to consider this: the sooner you come into owning who you are, the better off everyone will be.

That being said, stories people tell create their reality. Often “stories people tell” blind them to their own intuition, which is always accurate. As you can see in Meena’s experience, several times her intuition led her to evidence in response to her questions, which came in the form of suspicion. Instead of listening to her knowing, she told stories which caused her to ignore her knowing.

Everyone is a match to the partner they are with. In other words, it always takes two.

Whenever a person ignores answers they receive, and everyone always receives answers they seek, such answers will get bigger – more intense, harder to ignore – until the person “gets it”. By then, a lot of cleaning up may be required.

It’s possible to avoid all this. If you’re in a long-term relationship or marriage, or you’re contemplating marrying a cis-woman, but you are trans attracted, we urge you to consider the significance of your choices.

And, at the same time, it takes two. Meena’s struggle reflects her husband’s struggle as both create one another through stories they tell.

Find out more. We are available to everyone.

June 23, 2020June 25, 2020

Trans Amory Starts With Self

No_More_Broken_Hearts — Photo by Ed Robertson on Unsplash

If you think you’re alone in your trans attraction, think again. There are all kinds of men out there, feeling exactly the same as you. Struggling with, feeling shame or embarrassment about your trans attraction? Many men feel similarly.

And, many trans-attracted men don’t feel like you. Such men embrace their trans attraction and enjoy fulfilling, happy, out-loud lives with trans girlfriends, partners, even spouses. Or they live alone happy in their singledom.

The same goes for trans women. There are trans women of every kind, of every political persuasion. There are trans women who think you (and me) are the worst kind of man. These trans women think we fetishize them. Some of us do, along our journey towards transamory. But not all of us.

That’s why I know every trans attracted man, or trans woman, has many, many potential matches. The question remains: What stories do we tell? Stories we tell bring us people matching those stories.

For example, some trans women who rage against men like us think all trans women feel like they do. They’ll share their knee-jerk reactions with their friends and get solace from them, not knowing that friends typically share similar stories. That’s what brings friends together. That solace doesn’t last though because when they share their disempowering stories and get agreement from friends, they unwittingly perpetuate what they complain about.

Meanwhile, there are trans women who are in their power. They’re happily living lives with loving trans attracted and transamorous men, or women or whatever. When trans attracted men get their stories right, they find more happy trans women and fewer bitter ones. That’s what we help men (and trans women) with at The Transamorous Network.

Stories shape relationship

One client I’m working with finds consistency in trans women he meets. He meets trans women who reflect back to him his own disempowering stories. Chase’s stories trigger feelings of unworthiness, insecurity and a lack of self love. He knows what he wants in a partner, but doesn’t believe he deserves it.

Chase’s mother raised him while struggling with substance abuse and sex industry work. Chase experienced a lot in his childhood home. Conclusions he made about life back then shape his relationships today. Chase confuses his self worth with money, just as his mother likely did about her self worth relative to her Johns. As a result, love and money get confused in Chase’s relationships.

It’s no surprise then that Chase attracts insecure trans women who seek their self-worth in lots of sex and flirting, including flirtatious relationships with other men, which trigger Chase’s stories causing him to feel insecurity and jealousy. They also equate love with receiving money. It’s also no surprise then that Chase fulfill such stories, giving these girls up to $500 a week. He says he loves them. But what’s really happening is, he seeks love in them that he can’t find in himself.

Craving that external validation costs him up to $2000 a month! He could get lasting and far more rewarding real love from himself for free. And use his money to rent a place to live.

Slowly breaking free

Chase is changing these days through the work The Transamorous Network offers. As his self awareness increases, he sees his relationships change in subtle ways. Sometimes, though, it takes him a while to get the message.

For example, recently a trans woman he’s seeing beat him up pretty bad when she perceived (accurately) that Chase had sex with someone else. This woman, like Chase, has stories stemming from her own upbringing which trigger her insecurity, unworthiness and pain and match her with someone like Chase. Violence between them comes from both parties ignoring earlier warning signs. Chase and I talked about these signs months ago. But Chase’s stories kept him wanting this relationship even though he knew what lay ahead.

After the second violent exchange, this time involving police, Chase sent me a series of texts:

Relationships always reflect stories we tell. I strive in my life to get those messages early, change the stories and thus enjoy better relationships and avoid drama. I encourage my clients to do the same.

Sometimes, though, it takes some drama to get the lesson. In Chase’s example, there were early signs his partner gets violent. Ignoring early signs leads to stronger messages. After the last beat down, I thought maybe Chase had had enough:

But three days later he sent the following:

Sometimes it takes people a lot of drama (and perhaps some broken bones, black eyes and damaged property) before they learn the lesson. 🤷🏽‍♂️

The best relationship happens when a person discovers the love relationship between them and them. Relationships with others always reflect relationship with self. When I’m in love with me, I get relationships matching that.

So do my clients. Some clients get there faster than others. 😂

All relationships guide us to ourselves. When I nurture that love, love from others matches that. This is what I show my clients. It starts with getting over stories conjuring shame and embarrassment for who they are. The process never ends because self love has no upper limit. It gets stronger and stronger, more fulfilling.

As it does, romantic relationships follow. The best cis-trans relationships start with the self. From there, any relationship is possible.

June 2, 2020

Trans attraction is an adventure

I spoke with a man this weekend in the early stages of the trans attraction–transamory journey. At his wits end, he contacted me hoping he’d get relief.

He didn’t get any. Instead, he got clarity about what lies ahead: an awesome adventure.

Steven (not his real name) wrote me the following email:

“I think I may be a tranny chaser because I fantasize about them. I have only told a few ppl about this and I don’t want to keep it a secret from people. Although I don’t know if I want a relationship with a trans woman. Can you help me?”

When talked on Skype, Steve was tied in knots. He hoped other people’s opinions might help ease anxiety, fear and insecurity he felt. But when he asked others’ their opinion he got more anxiety, fear and insecurity.

Rationalizing heterosexuality

Steve started watching porn when he was 16. Now in his mid twenties, he recently found trans porn transfixing.

“Something about women with penises I find attractive,” he said. Steve only watches trans porn featuring trans women masturbating. I asked if he imagined being the woman.

“No,” he said.

Porn can introduce a man to his trans attraction. It’s not the only way men do it though. Some find their attraction meeting a trans woman for the first time. Some find it through bars or sex workers. Porn is common though.

The more Steve watched porn, the more Steve found trans women alluring. They compelled his attention so much he felt near addicted to it. When not watching, Steve thinks about trans women all the time, he said. One day he figured he should try “experiencing” a trans woman, but the thought scared him.

Steve considers himself heterosexual. His arousal for trans women threatens this label though, and, like many trans attracted men, that real perceived threat causes fear and anxiety.

“How could I be heterosexual and like this kind of stuff?” he asked in resistance to his trans attraction.

I asked, “Why do you feel fear? What would happen if you explore this that scares you?”

The crux of many men’s fears about discovering their natural attraction to transgender women lies in Steve’s answer. Men worry about what others are going to think about them. So they feel insecurity, fear, anxiety and uncertainty in their budding trans-attraction.

ben-white-7SRymDKKDus-unsplash — The crux of many men’s fears about discovering their natural attraction to transgender women lies in his answer. Men worry about what others are going to think about them. So they feel insecurity, fear, anxiety and uncertainty in their budding trans-attraction. Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

Focus on that too long and these men get taken over by their fear-producing thoughts or stories. They can’t stop thinking about these scenarios. Insecurity grows so big, they think their stories are happening against their will.

The only thing happening though is momentum. Repeatedly telling their fear-filled stories, these men give more life force to such stories. They’ve told such stories (entertained such thoughts) so often, those stories themselves become alive. If men continue telling these stories, they will become their reality. The negative emotions these men feel indicate they want something different than the reality that’s coming.

It’s not that they want to not be trans attracted though. It’s that they want to feel strong, confident and certain in their trans attraction. But their fears block that clarity.

Steve was no different. He said his thoughts about trans women and the anxiety he felt returned to his mind unbidden, at all times, throughout the day. He worried something was wrong.

“I worry what others might say and think about me, too” He said. Then he quickly added: “I want a woman and want to raise children”.

I know this common excuse used to deny one’s trans attraction. Wanting a family masks illogical conclusions drawn from fear and insecurity. I pointed this out by sharing two scenarios with Steve, one in which he’s married to a cis-woman, who, down the line somehow loses her child-bearing ability.

“What would you do in this situation?” I asked.

“We could adopt, or get a surrogate,” Steve said. I nodded.

Then I told the other scenario, one where he and a trans woman are together and both want a family, but the woman has a penis. I asked the same question. Steve got the point.

But here’s the strange thing about some men, including Steve. Men will sometimes turn to the very same people they fear rejection from, for advice. That’s exactly what Steve did. He asked relatives, friends, girlfriends.

Not surprisingly many of those people said Steve should avoid these thoughts and this interest. Steve’s reality already started matching his fears. Standing in insecurity, fear and self-shame, he got advice matching his worries.

velizar-ivanov-V_Giq2h5jak-unsplash — Not surprisingly many of those people said Steve should avoid these thoughts and this interest. Steve’s reality already started matching his fears. Standing in insecurity, fear and self-shame, he got advice matching his worries. Photo by Velizar Ivanov on Unsplash

Trans attraction runs deep. It’s not something one can ignore once it gets triggered. I don’t recommend trans attracted men seek answers from other people, especially when first discovering their trans attraction. Everyone creates their reality through storytelling. So stories conjuring fear, anxiety and insecurity are bound to create people and experiences reflecting those negative emotions.

When a trans attracted man seeks advice from others while feeling insecure or shame, they’re going to get advice that’s not helpful. They’ll get unhelpful reactions too. For the people they’ll ask will be people matching the fear and insecurity the man feels.

Same goes for trans women, by the way. Which is why a trans woman who is insecure will usually meet equally insecure men. There are no “tranny chasers”. There are insecure trans women projecting their insecurities which create realities wherein they meet insecure men, i.e. perfect matches.

If it feels good, it’s right

Instead of looking for advice in others, it’s better to nurture one’s inner wisdom, then rely on that for guidance. Living life from here changes life experience too. There are a lot of insecure people walking around. Trans attracted men do better when they rely on their own inner guidance direction. But first, they must nurture that connection.

All these insecure people are looking to other insecure people for their answers not knowing the only real answers are within. Why on earth do we seek answers from fellow humans, many of whom are insecure at one level or another, when we all have secure, confident, clear inner selves guiding us all the time, if we’d only take time to nurture that connection then listen?

That’s what I told Steve. I suggested he look to himself for his answers because he knows better than anyone else what’s right for him.

“What feels good is right,” I said. “Follow that. Your trans attraction feels good. It’s your negative stories that feel bad. Follow what feels good and see where it leads you.”

Steve let out a heavy sigh. I asked what that was. He said he wasn’t ready for the “heaviness” of what he knew he had to do. I agreed with that. He looked like the weight of the world sat on his shoulders. I told him it wouldn’t stay that way.

For Steve and all trans attracted men: Trans attraction is an adventure. It’s part of the bigger adventure called life. You came to explore all your life offers. In that exploration you become more authentic in you and help others do the same.

Trans attraction can be a path of perpetual delight, but if you’re looking to others for their opinions about what and who you are and what you should do, you’re just making that adventure harder than it needs to be.

February 24, 2020February 23, 2020

A trans woman tells her amazing story

Screen Shot 2020-02-21 at 08.23.46

A client tells her story

When Tamar signed up for her first 1:1 spiritual mentoring session almost two years ago, she was living in a tent in the backyard of a house she owned in Australia. Back then, Tamar had a dream, she said, of one day circumnavigating the Australian continent by sea…

I got this direct message (above) from her last week. Here’s Tamar’s story, in her own words:

“I used to live in a tent in the back yard of the house I owned. Now, I have found my joy like never before…and I’m free.

…I knew I was different at an early age. Gentle, caring, and quite frankly horrified at the expectations that were thrust upon me. I had no concept of being transgender back then. I tried to prove my masculinity, to others and myself, by working extremely “manly” jobs. Those jobs took their toll on my body. Finally owning my transgender identity took its toll on my marriage.

While I raised my four kids successfully, under a roof I paid for, before my transition, I was living estranged from my family and wife in a tent in the backyard of the house I spent all my working life affording.

Needless to say that fact left me bitter, resentful and unhappy.

The jobs I worked left me on disability. I used to think being transgender was a handful in and of itself. But in addition to that, I was diagnosed with PTSD, and an anxiety disorder.

I would literally have panic attacks when around crowds. Even the thought of being around strangers left me feeling exposed, anxious, fearful and alone. That’s to say nothing about finding a romantic male partner. For me, romance was not even on the table.

Then I encountered Positively Focused [our sister site]**. All along I knew myself to be a divine character, but my life experience and the stories I created were making a life that matched that seem like a pipe dream: how could I live who I knew myself to be when I faced so many obstacles?

So when I found Positively Focused, I was in an extremely negative space. And not just emotionally.

After just six Positively Focused sessions, I created an entirely new reality for myself. I’m now living in a nice apartment that came to me…seemingly miraculously.

I have more money, my privacy and I’m far, far from that living situation I dreaded every moment I was there.

But more importantly is how I feel. I’m in the best condition I’ve been in. Ever. Looking back at that first session, I don’t even recognize myself!

A new life has begun. A freer one. All my dreams I put on hold are in sight.

It’s great to be out of that tent. After I have settled in, and rested a while, I’ll be ready to find a friend.

It’s strange. Not long ago, I had given up on getting away from that old living situation. I had started shopping online for hiking gear, spending my money. I had come to the conclusion that if I was going to live in a tent anyway, the peace of the woods was better than where I was. I was getting ready to be homeless.

But then I received a call from a person I spoke to a couple of weeks ago. They gave me the unit I had asked for. I found it odd, that within hours of “letting go”, I was given what I wanted/needed.

Intriguing, and exciting also, perhaps.

Needless to say, I’ve benefitted tremendously from my Positively Focused experience. I realize my case may be extreme. But if Positively Focused can turn my life around, it can certainly do wonders for yours.”

Tamar wrote that in 2018. As I’ve said, as momentum increases, life gets better and better. For Tamar, that means living dreams once put on hold.

“Realists” criticize people who have their head in the clouds, who see the glass as overflowing. Pollyanna gets a bad wrap from people who think they’re being real, when they’re actually being pessimistic.

Meanwhile those who are Pollyanna – who see the world Positively Focused – are getting lives they love.

Just like Tamar here. You can too!

**Positively Focused is our sister site offering the same approach to life we do here at The Transamorous Network. To find out more about Positively Focused, click here. You get access to the same content by going through The Transamorous Network’s matchmaking service.