Editor’s note: In this series, we’ll highlight conversations with our readers/viewers. We think folks will benefit from these conversations. All names are made up to protect everyone’s privacy:
I confess that I’m a bit confused about how your service works. I am an older, respectful gentleman who has found that trans women have a strong personal appeal for a range of reasons. I live near NYC and hope to build a relationship, but can’t envision that any daily life instruction would assist me in meeting a prospective partner, but I’m open to hearing more.
Thank you.
Jeff
Hi Jeff,
What we offer is out of the norm. So people don’t understand what we offer because they are trying to understand it from comparing it to things they know….
We offer a way that connects you with your ideal partner, with no ambiguity or chance of failure. If you’ve read our blog or watched our shows, you know we talk a lot about “stories” – beliefs each person holds – and how those stories shape life experience. Inevitably people have stories that determine what they expect. What they expect then determines what happens in their life.
If you examine the thoughts and beliefs of trans-attracted men and trans women, you’ll find many stories that make it hard for quality members of each group to find quality members of the other group. Instead, what usually happens is, matches that happen reflect beliefs each group has about the other.
For example, a transgender woman who believes no man will want to be with her and also harbors beliefs that make her feel insecure will only meet men who themselves are insecure and want her only for sex.
We work with our clients through weekly conversations to expose such stories . Then we show the client how to tell stories consistent with experiences they’re wanting to have. In that way, they become a “match” to those desired experiences. Including meeting their ideal match.
So we offer weekly instruction (not daily) wherein we show clients how to create experiences they want, including meeting ideal mates. That’s our “match-making” process.
There’s no shame in trans attraction until someone who is trans attracted believes their trans attraction is wrong.
Think about that. When a person feels attracted to a trans woman, there’s just the attraction…at first. But then thoughts come “seemingly out of nowhere”.
These thoughts get thought all the time by friends, loved ones, society in general, and one’s coworkers. So much so the trans attracted person starts thinking them too, well before meeting a trans person.
I sure did.
These thoughts get thought so often, they become beliefs: societal beliefs, cultural beliefs, “stereotypes”, memes, jokes…
These beliefs activate sometimes when a man feels attracted to a trans woman. No one deserves blame for such beliefs. It doesn’t matter who started them, or where they came from. When they activate they are “what is” for the person having them. They are his truth.
A million “truths” exist for every topic though, so just because a man activates a belief in him doesn’t make that belief “true”. Unless the man believes it is true. When he does, when he believes the belief, then shame shows up.
Shame tells a person the thought just thought isn’t true. My clients learn this pretty early in their sessions. But understanding how emotions like shame work takes time. Why does it take time? Because people aren’t clear about why they have emotions.
Once my clients relearn this, they find they can create any reality they want, including a reality where they live their trans attraction proudly. First though old beliefs must go away.
When that happens, fulfilling relationships are foregone conclusions.
Something else happens though when shame and embarrassment, triggered by beliefs or stories, disappear: a new set of beliefs show up, beliefs like this:
I see how I was “that guy” treating trans women like objects
I see how my behavior probably caused trans woman to feel fetishized
I get how I contributed to the “chaser” story
Then new thoughts show up:
I want to be more supportive of trans women
I want to do my part be an ally
I want to share who I am so other guys gain confidence too
When thoughts like that show up, I know my client made progress in their own journey towards transamory. When that happens the trans community (and the world) is better off because of it.
“This stuff makes no sense,” A transgender client said. “It totally illogical. How do you know this stuff works?”
This client’s frustrated outburst is part of the path. In only six weeks their relationship transformed, they’re feeling more comfortable in their skin, feeling happier and more excited about life. They’re now pursuing dreams of becoming a well-paid musician by taking practical steps in that direction. Their life: better, their mood: more positive, their experience of life experience: more fun.
Why did such a question come up despite all this evidence?
In a word: momentum.
For a while it is a roller coaster
When clients first start working with The Transamorous Network, they get excited. They see evidence of their life getting better everywhere. The more they alter their stories and perspectives, the more evidence they see.
At some point though, old stories reassert themselves. These old stories are living things, like everything else. They enjoy life energy they get when a person focuses their way. When a person stops focusing on old stories, they sort of push back. They don’t want to lose attention they once got.
When they push back, clients feel the negative emotion that comes with that. Momentum ensues and, before you know it, they forget evidence they created that excited them just days ago.
This is normal. It’s also why it helps having someone who’s walked the path and knows what to expect. That’s where I come in.
How do I know all this stuff works?
I know this stuff works because it’s working in my life. I know it works because my desires are coming true all around me. I know this stuff works because I feel excited about this work, I feel excited about life, about living, about trans women dipping in and out of my life. I’m excited because life feels so freaking great…and that’s because of this work.
In their frustration, this client couldn’t understand how I have insight to All That Is. They couldn’t understand how I speak so confidently about how the Universe works, how it’s designed by us to deliver all we want, and that life is supposed to be a positive adventure. They couldn’t understand how I could know something “limited human consciousness can’t possibly know.”
I told him the reason they can’t understand it is because they’re not yet where I am. I told them human consciousness is only limited when the human believes their consciousness is limited. The reason why I speak with such confidence, I told them, is because I’ve changed my stories, and my reality broadened to include awareness of the nonphysical world.
I have a third degree black belt in nine different martial arts. It took me about five years to get to that level. I once trained others in these schools. When I did, I spoke with the same clarity and confidence about that material as I do about “stories create your reality and here’s how.”
My “Menkyo” certifying my 3 black belts in 9 martial arts schools.
In the martial arts field, what separates my opinion from an opinion of a white belt, someone who is just starting or someone who has now experience at all? Experience, practice, knowledge and wisdom that comes from five years of personal experience with the material, with guidance from a 15 degree blackbelt who’s been training in this material over 35 years.
The same is true with this work. While others focus their attention on perhaps finding love, raising families, building careers, wealth and material satisfaction, I’ve focused my attention on epistemology and ontology using empirical methods applied across a wide variety of “spiritual” fields. I’ve been doing this at least since I was six.
Walking the path makes me an expert
So I am clear. I speak with confidence and clarity in this field in the same way I do in martial arts: I know because I’ve walked this path so long, I just know it.
The cool thing is, anyone can do what I do. With diligence and focus, anyone can have a life they love filled with everything they want and then show others how to get that. It doesn’t matter if you’re transgender or trans-attracted. Life is meant to be lived happily. Do that and you’ll have a happy life. The question is, how do you “do that”?
That’s what I know and what I show my clients.
By the end of our time together, this client was back in their usual happy space born from doing the work for 12 weeks. They thanked me as my clients usually do: by telling me they love me.
I understand who and what people are. I relate to them from there. When I do, they feel that. When they feel that, they can’t help but express love for me. I’m loving them after all.
Frustration: that’s part of the path at first. Because I know this, I don’t let doubts about my credibility shake my confidence. I do the work, which is why I know what I know. And that’s why I can help people create lives they love.
This is one of our 1:1 clients. He is in early stages of his transgender transformation (He prefers he/him pronouns for now).
Like all of our clients he is getting immediate results in creating the relationship he wants. This is why we guarantee our results.
Our client is in a relationship with his son’s mother. Their relationship had been very rocky because our client was telling rocky stories about himself, about her and about his relationship. In three sessions, after cleaning up some of his unhelpful stories, his son’s mother started acting different.
In this clip, you can hear how he is settling into the fact that stories not only create one’s reality, they create people in reality too. Our client is now on his way to his dreams. He’s excited about the path and finds the work exhilarating, even while recognizing the work, in his words, can be a “blessing and a curse.”
We would say the work puts our clients where they belong: at the center of the Universe, ongoingly creating the Universe that surrounds them. From there it does seem like a blessing…when they’re creating their Universe on purpose.
When they don’t create on purpose, as our client says here, it becomes curse. The more our clients discover the joy of living through stories about what they want, living lives through stories they don’t want feels awful. But that’s good too. How else are our clients supposed to know when they’re creating on purpose, or creating through obliviousness?
Become a The Transamorous Network client and watch how not only your love life improves, but so does everything else in your Universe. Click this link to find out more
Mirrors are amazing things. We take their symbolic awesomeness for granted. Every day, we stand in front of our bathroom mirrors and miss the greatness they’re showing us.
In some cultures, mirrors are spiritual icons. They’re featured prominently in legends of all kinds. In Japan, for example, the mirror holds a prominent place in many household shrines. A mirror was one of three sacred objects given to Japan’s first emperor by the Sun Goddess Amaterasu’s grandson. Mirrors in ancient Japan represented truth because they reflected only what stood before them. They were a source of much mystique and reverence (being uncommon items) in that time. Today in Japan they symbolize wisdom.
I used to not make that connection when I visit my bathroom mirror. Not any more. After doing my business and washing my hands, I look in the mirror and see the center of the universe, the creator, looking back at me. I know through my stories I create the world I want to live in.
When you look in your mirror, what does it tell you? Does it remind you of your flaws, things about you that must be covered up or altered before you can comfortably greet the day?
Or does it remind you that you are the only one creating your life experience day-by-day, week-by-week, month-by-month, year-by-year into your glorious life experience? Is your mirror encounter positive or negative? What stories does it reflect back at you?
Mirrors can inspire your best. Or they can evoke stories about yourself that trigger shame, embarrassment, fear, insecurity. I wonder how many tell stories while standing in front of their bathroom sink which conjure the latter.
Telling stories that have us feel small and insignificant and fearful about ourselves is what makes us look outside ourselves, expecting others to come up with answers we need to feel good about ourselves, when all along, the answers lie in our stories, not theirs.
