Here’s a series of stories I tell often as a transamorous person. They’re why I experience a consistent happy life.
These stories create life experiences consistent with what I want, while keeping experiences I don’t want from finding me. It’s like magic, or a spell, but it’s not that. It’s just what happens when I focus on good-feeling stories. You can do this too. Try these. See what happens. You know they’re working when you feel good.
I like choosing to tellpositive stories
I like choosing to tell positive stories instead of letting what is going on around me to choose the stories I tell
I like that
I like how that felt coming up with that story
Choosing what story to tell instead of letting what is going on choose my story for mefeels good
It feels good deliberately telling positive stories
It feels good feeling how good it feels when I choose to tell positive stories especially when I focus on positive things to tell stories about
I like telling positive stories
This feels good telling stories about about things that feel good
I like stories that feel good
I like knowing when I tell positive stories I’m being my positive stories
I really like knowing this when things appear to not be working out
I really like choosing to know it’s going right when it feels like it’s going wrong
That’s a positive story
I like knowing that negative emotion is a positive thing
I appreciate what I feel because it tells me what story I’m telling
I can choose anything that feels better, talk about that and in time feel better
I know when I do that I’m telling positive stories
I know I’ve done that by how good I feel
I’m feeling good now telling all these positive stories
I know what I want, when I get it, makes me happy. I also know when I’m happy I set up more future happy moments.
But since every time I get what I want, I am happy, I can just be happy, even when I’m not getting what I want. I can be happy now, no matter what is happening.
This is the basis of our work at The Transamorous Network. I know when I put my happiness first, by telling stories about my life that make me happy, I put myself on a path to having a happy life. That’s because a happy life looks like feeling happy in every moment.
What happens in my life, when I’m not deliberate about choosing happiness, determines how I feel. But life doesn’t have to be that way. I can turn it around. I can choose to be happy, no matter what I’m experiencing, then experience good things always.
I know when I do that my life fills with happy experiences. I know this because I’ve tried it and it’s always worked out that way. I also know this because my Transamorous Network clients get exactly the same results. It’s a bit more complicated than that, but in a short while, I’ve created a life filled with happy experiences. So have my clients. I share these experiences in my other blog, Positively Focused.
So this holiday season, I appreciate what I’ve realized: That life is happy when I am happy. And the happier I am, the more my life shapes to my happiness. In my happiness, I don’t need my life to change. But because I’m not focused on my life needing to change, because I’m not telling stories about how bad my life is, my life changes.
It’s a paradox but it’s true.
I’m grateful for what I’ve discovered. And I’m loving seeing transgender people and trans-attracted people who have come to me seeking relief from their self-loathing, insecurities and shame, find relief and more, simply by telling better stories.
I appreciate knowing life is supposed to be fun, joyful and filled with fulfilled desire. I appreciating having such a life. And I appreciate sharing what I know with others, then seeing their life turn out that way too.
There’s no shame in trans attraction until someone who is trans attracted believes their trans attraction is wrong.
Think about that. When a person feels attracted to a trans woman, there’s just the attraction…at first. But then thoughts come “seemingly out of nowhere”.
These thoughts get thought all the time by friends, loved ones, society in general, and one’s coworkers. So much so the trans attracted person starts thinking them too, well before meeting a trans person.
I sure did.
These thoughts get thought so often, they become beliefs: societal beliefs, cultural beliefs, “stereotypes”, memes, jokes…
These beliefs activate sometimes when a man feels attracted to a trans woman. No one deserves blame for such beliefs. It doesn’t matter who started them, or where they came from. When they activate they are “what is” for the person having them. They are his truth.
A million “truths” exist for every topic though, so just because a man activates a belief in him doesn’t make that belief “true”. Unless the man believes it is true. When he does, when he believes the belief, then shame shows up.
Shame tells a person the thought just thought isn’t true. My clients learn this pretty early in their sessions. But understanding how emotions like shame work takes time. Why does it take time? Because people aren’t clear about why they have emotions.
Once my clients relearn this, they find they can create any reality they want, including a reality where they live their trans attraction proudly. First though old beliefs must go away.
When that happens, fulfilling relationships are foregone conclusions.
Something else happens though when shame and embarrassment, triggered by beliefs or stories, disappear: a new set of beliefs show up, beliefs like this:
I see how I was “that guy” treating trans women like objects
I see how my behavior probably caused trans woman to feel fetishized
I get how I contributed to the “chaser” story
Then new thoughts show up:
I want to be more supportive of trans women
I want to do my part be an ally
I want to share who I am so other guys gain confidence too
When thoughts like that show up, I know my client made progress in their own journey towards transamory. When that happens the trans community (and the world) is better off because of it.
I have high standards. Some standards I hold even I don’t meet…yet.
I’m heading in that direction though.
These standards I also call my ideal stories. I have ideal stories about me, about life, about partners, that create my reality. I know, for example, that I am moving into greater financial abundance. I know abundance is more than financial or material, and so I already see evidence of “abundance” surrounding me already.
I am surrounded by beauty. That’s another story. I see beauty everywhere. Every morning I’m astounded by the beauty that is where I live. When the sun shines through my windows, it plays beautifully with shadows creating visual feasts for my eyes.
I know there are successful, independent, smart and beautiful trans women coming my way. This are my ideal stories too. These women (and yes, there are more than one) are all interested I me for what I represent to them. And so they find me as I find them: a perfect match.
I know I have created a life in beautiful California, my birth state. That’s another ideal story. I know I’m returning there with ease, grace and with so much financial abundance I can live in that state anywhere I choose.
And I know my days are filled with fun and play, with my clients, with my companies and with people working with me to influence better into the world.
These are some of my ideal stories.
Evidence abounds if you know how to see it
Some would say, “well where’s the evidence your stories are creating the reality you claim?”
My answer is, evidence abounds. But unless the person knows where to look and how to look, they can’t see the evidence. It also takes a while because, physical reality isn’t a magical reality. Things take time to turn from one thing to another. So evidence of my ideal stories “coming true” includes seeing old stories fading away.
Evidence combines old story evidence fading and ideal story evidence showing up.
For example, though I haven’t sought them out, I now am social media friends with quite successful trans women. I wrote before about transgender women I’ve met recently who are military company commanders, business owners and radio personalities. Recently, I’ve had the pleasure of interacting with financially successful, smart, witty trans women entrepreneurs from Europe and the United States too.
I know these conversations, these acquaintances evidence me moving towards high standards I have about life, my own prosperity and what I want in a partner. I also know tipping point is coming. I both feel it and see it.
I know soon my life experience will 100 percent match my ideal stories. The more my current life transforms to that, the more high-quality, beautiful, smart and successful trans women will show up.
In other words, I’m seeing results showing what I’m doing pays off. And I’m eager for more evidence. I’m not addicted to the final outcome though. Nor am I concerned about proving anything to anyone. I know, in time, evidence will be so great others will know it too.
Everyone deserves lives they love
Humans are supposed to have lives they love. I know this. I also know the trouble plaguing most humans is, they aren’t willing to allow the Universe to deliver lives they love. Instead, they try making that life happen through action, especially in romance.
Dating sites make tons of money off people trying to do what the Universe is doing for them, so they get in the way, blocking a natural process. I encourage my clients away from dating sites for several reasons. The biggest reason is, it’s more fun meeting one’s ideal match by first becoming a match to one’s ideal stories.
Every relationship someone gets into is a match to that person at the time. Knowing this, I prefer waiting until I become a match to my ideal partner so that my relationships are relationships with that kind of person instead of, say, someone who matches where I am right now.
Where I am right now isn’t bad. But I know where I’m going is going to be way better. So I’m willing to wait. In the meantime, trans women I meet are getting better and better in both quality and quantity, matching all the other changes indicating progress toward my high standards.
In the meantime, I’m happy being with myself, improving my stories, then watching as the world I create transforms to match my ideal stories, stories which will unequivocally create the life of my dreams.
Being happy, I don’t need patience. I don’t need proof because I see it everywhere. That’s why I’m not impatient. It’s a great place to be, seeing the world of my dreams emerge from my world right now, even while some people struggle against the world of what is.
The trans women I’m meeting are evidence, yes. But so is everything else. My life is great. I love what I’m becoming. I love who I am. I love what I have. I’m becoming a match to my ideal partner and so my ideal partner is coming to me.
Editors note: we’re borrowing this story from our sister organization Positively Focused because it is so good.
My 1:1 clients show how easy getting what they want is. After just five sessions, the Universe demonstrated to KJ here how he creates his own reality, thereby getting what he wanted – a table saw – in the most delightful way.
I know, and my clients are increasingly knowing, when I tell stories about things the way I want to see them, my life shapes itself to those better story versions.
But it’s not magic. There’s a process. Once mastered, it makes living fun. KJ here is on the way to mastery.
I know everyone can live life happy. Everyone can have all they want. By telling the right stories, one realizes life is supposed to be not only fun, but also include desire after desire being fulfilled. I show my clients how to have this kind of life.
Doing this is fun for me because I have this life. I love seeing the Universe, acting to confirm my stories, as it coordinates events so that everything I want, large and small, comes into my reality.
“Everything” includes clients who love this way of living, like KJ here, coming into my life so we can play together as we both get what we want.