Tag: men who love transwomen

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An Open Letter To The Alleged Trans-Attracted Alex Jones

Info wars press kit AJ Transattracted letter FB blog
Photo: INFOWARS Press Kit

Dear Alex,

You’re invited to take a bold, positive step in your life. A step that could literally change the course of society in the United States and elsewhere.

No, we’re not suggesting you end you “war” against whatever you think needs to be fought.

It’s much more personal than that.

It has come to our attention that you yourself revealed your own deep secret: Seems as though you find transgender women sexually alluring. Maybe even attractive.

We know a lot of men who may be like you. We know, as many others do, that those who express hate towards people often harbor some deep affinity for those very same people. So it was no surprise to us that last Saturday, you may have revealed to the world your own appetite for transgender porn.

We know very early-stage trans-attraction manifests as a secretive fascination for transgender people. This is often expressed as an indulgence in transgender porn and is often accompanied by feelings of titillation and excitement followed by deep self-loathing, embarrassment and shame.

We know this emotional mix is often a potentially incendiary combination for men you may share this attraction with: Many times trans-attracted men in early stages revert to violence against the very women they harbor a secret love for.

In a real way, that’s what you are doing when you speak about transgender women the way you do.

We know the reason men like you – men like us – resort to deeply burying their trans-attraction in shame and repressed feelings, is because family, friends and society at large convince us to believe attraction to transgender women is perverse, unnatural, wrong and, in your own words [paraphrasing] “could end society as we know it.”

Thankfully, we know, the opposite is true: love for transgender women has the potential to radically reshape society: for the better.

So you have a powerful opportunity in what we’re sure you think is a terrible, embarrassing mistake.

Often, such events can be amazing turning points.

We are inviting you to come out of the closet. Join the growing number of men (and women) who are not willing to let society shame them for what they naturally know: transgender women are attractive and worthy of love.

If you need someplace to sooth your shame, we offer two options:

  1. Start following our work. We offer a LOT of content to help men like you come to grips with their trans-attraction. The men we have interviewed and helped (as well as the transgender women) attest to our effectiveness. Transforming your trans-attraction into transamory would be an amazing shift in your approach to save the world. Particularly with your status among your viewers/believers. Imagine what could come of that. Yes, your potential income may take a temporary hit, but is all that money really worth the internal hatred you are harboring? What if your income increased as a result of your coming out?
  2. Join our collaborating organization, The Trans Supportive Brotherhood, on Facebook. Here, a small but growing number of men participate in online asynchronous conversations, sharing their trans-attraction experience in a supportive, safe, anonymous environment.

Another option: get some counseling.

We’re not big fans of that route, but we know a lot of people benefit from it. You could too.

You’re in good company Alex. There are a LOT of men who share your attraction. There is no shame in it. If you could own your own attraction, and change the tenor of what you talk about transgender people, you could literally save lives.

Thanks for reading. See you in the Trans Supportive Brotherhood.

Perry Gruber, Founder, The Transamorous Network

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Alex Jones: Trangender Porn Connoisseur?

Info wars press kit AJ Transattracted FB blog
Photo: Info wars press kit

It’s no surprise to us that Alex Jones, infamous hate monger and social media exile, also appears to be trans-attracted.

According to this first and original report the transphobe, alt-right, conspiracy purveyor, was caught red-handed, when he, himself inadvertently revealed in his browsing history, a transgender porn site. Today, four days later, more sites are beginning to announce the story, including The Independent.

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Sharp viewers caught the slip and now…we’ll we know what happens next.

The reason we’re not surprised by this is because often, the most virulently opposed people  are often projecting their own self-loathing onto that which they are. The fact that Jones has, on many occasions, derided transgender people indicated to us long ago that he was likely trans-attracted.

History is replete with people like this. People who are against gay people, and yet are gay themselves has been a recurring theme among conservatives. It’s not any different with early-stage trans-attraction.

This should be an indicator to you, transgender community.

When you are railing against someone who hates you, there is likely something going on in that person that that person doesn’t have access to while you push back against their hate. Hating Alex Jones or any other closeted trans-attracted person, leaves no room for that person to own who they really are. Instead, it pushes them deeper into the closet and more stridently against you.

Often – probably more often than you realize – someone’s hatred of you is a cry for help: for understanding, for acceptance. It’s exactly the same for racists.

The transgender community can be the better side of the argument for transgender rights by releasing its own hatred and defensiveness for people like Alex Jones.

That’s what we’re doing at The Transamorous Network.

Sometimes the most powerful act is to turn the other cheek, meaning, let go of your unnatural inclination to hate back.

The result will surprise you. And make room for more people to confirm that loving you as a whole person –– whether you have a penis or a vagina –– is as natural as anything else.

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Transgender Women Perpetuate Toxic Masculinity? Some Do, Yes

Dating choices FB blog
The type of men you go after says a lot more about you than anything else. But it also can perpetuate exactly what you’d like to see less of in the world.

Yes, it’s true: some transgender women are as complicit in perpetuating toxic masculinity as men. But those transgender women doing it aren’t aware they’re doing it.

Frankly, we’re not even sure the men are aware. But that’s another story.

We’ve offered many times a unique perspective on cis-trans dynamics – ways both parties in seeking partners behave – which perpetuate toxic masculinity.

Recently we discussed this from the trans-attracted male’s perspective. No doubt, these men sometimes do their part to perpetuate toxic masculine attitudes and behaviors. Particularly the “alpha male” variety – those men some transgender women desire most.

That post was a promo for our recently-released YouTube and Podcast episode. We featured Tommy Matt, an activist in many areas and a strong proponent for transgender rights. Particularly transgender women and transgender women of color.

Tommy also is a self-declared, trans-attracted man.

Tommy speaks definitively, clearly describing the role toxic masculinity plays in cis-trans relationships and potential relationships. While Tommy focuses on the men, Remy, our show co-host, does an outstanding job highlighting transgender women’s role in perpetuating toxic masculinity saying “…it takes two. Every relationship is a dance between two people’s stories.”

The conversation struck a chord for one transgender female viewer who felt strongly enough to share her opinion. It’s powerful enough to repeat here:

“…trans women are sometimes just as guilty as cis men of perpetuating toxic standards of masculinity. But, because gender is a construct and because it’s how we communicate beyond words, toxically masculine men are a cheap way to highlight (if not affirm) a trans woman’s femininity. In other words, a cis man’s perhaps extreme or exaggerated concept of his own masculinity can be attractive, soothing, and/or satisfying to an albeit insecure trans woman because she believes she looks even more feminine around him than she does around a cis man generally perceived as less masculine. I think this phenomenon exists between insecure cis folk too. But, consider that that insecurity is pronounced for those who suffer from gender dysphoria.”

There’s a lot of truth to be explored in this.

Watch the entire interview:

 

 

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An Awesome Thing Happened On Wikipedia And You Probably Missed It.

your transattraction is good

In less than a week, Wikipedia did something positive for the transgender community.

Wikipedia contributors have removed a fringe and controversial theory about attraction to transgender people and replaced it with an entry based on more common knowledge about trans-attraction.

While this seems like a tiny step, we think it’s huge.

We just had a conversation with a transgender woman who was in fact using this fringe theory to tie her self in knots about her own value as a person worthy of someone’s attention.

Screen Shot 2018-08-09 at 08.30.31 AM

It looks like the decision to remove the theory’s entry took place around 2013. But we looked up the theory just last week and it was still there. Today, it’s been redirected to the more accurate entry.

Awesome.

The exchange between Wikipedia contributors and the original poster of the fringe theory is quite an interesting read. The original poster, btw, happens to be one of the theory’s originators.

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Here’s the entry it has been replaced by. It’s not the best (you gotta start somewhere) but it certainly acknowledges the legitimate existence of trans-attraction thus validating the romantic value transgender people inherently possess. Just like the rest of us.

In other words: it’s NORMAL and validating to love transgender people.

Well done Wikipedia.

 

 

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Are Straight Men Into Transgender Women?

Berwin coroza - Relationship Beliefs matter FB blog
Photo: Berwin Coroza

A transgender woman today asked the following questions about her ex boyfriend who is showing renewed interest in wanting to have sex with her.

We get this kind of question sometimes at The Transamorous Network.

We decided to share our answer because it could be useful for other transgender women having similar questions.

We’ve expanded our answer for clarity.

Here’s what she wrote. We have edited it for clarity also:

My ex boyfriend said he likes me and he just want[s] to [have] sex with me. But he doesn’t like my p[e]nis. He said he likes only vagina. But [he] still want[s] to [have] sex with me. What [does this] actually mean? [I]s he denial or he [can’t] find [a] cis woman? But he is super cute…Are straight men really [into] transwomen? [O]r [do] GAMP (Gynoandomorphilc) m[e]n…like TS girl more?
Our answer:
If we were you, we would not focus so much on labels. Or try to understand men by putting labels on them.

We would particularly pay NO attention to the GAMP theory. It is a story that demeans who you are.

For men to fit in these categories and for the categories to be valid, then the theory’s reference to you (as a transgender woman) must also be valid, which demeans you as a person.

So it is self-mutilating to think about that theory: Standing in that story, you can not have a productive relationship with a trans-attracted man. How can you when you are wondering about the validity of how the guy feels about you?

Instead of asking the very general question “are straight men really [into] transwomen” We would be asking “is this particular man REALLY INTERESTED in ME?”

This question is far more relevant.

You’d be better off putting all your attention on your personal life experience. Instead of trying to understand about ALL men’s feelings about ALL transgender women, which is a hugely varied set of opinions you will likely not clearly understand ever – because they are constantly changing – it is more productive, and relevant to keep your nose in your own affairs.

That means asking: is he interested in me?

Here are some questions that are even more valuable :
  • Do I consider myself more than my trans status?
  • If so, why am I so concerned about others’ opinion about this part of me [my trans status] which is a very small part of the WHOLE ME?
  • What kind of sex am I wanting? Do I want casual sex, or am I more interested in something meaningful? (neither is better than the other, but you want to understand where you are so you make wise choices)
  • If a person just wants to have sex with me, is he really showing interest in me as a person? Or as a masturbatory tool? In other words, am I being treated as a means to this person’s sexual gratification alone, or am I being seen as a person, with my own desires and interests?
By asking these questions you start to understand yourself more. You begin to understand the stories creating your life experience.
Armed with that information, you now have some freedom to choose new stories. Ones that will serve you far better, by connecting you with people who match those better stories.