There are a lot of people benefiting from advice I give here at The Transamorous Network. Every week, I get positive responses to stories I published. But this week takes the cake. It’s so confirming reading comments like the one I’m about to share.
It really makes the vitriol I get sometimes worth it. I started this blog to help transgender women and trans-attracted men find the love they so desperately want. The main thing I do with clients is show them the number one place they will always find consistent love.
That is from themselves.
But the great thing about finding love there is that once they find that, the world around them will reflect that back to them. That’s why people love advice I give. It resonates with people’s core awareness. Many aren’t as connected to that. But those who are find my advice powerfully resonates.
It’s great when I read comments from people getting inspiration from what they read on this blog. Let’s take a look at the most recent example (at the time of writing this).
Self-acceptance is everything
If we don’t accept ourselves, the world will reflect that back to us. We’ll meet all kinds of people amplifying our stories. Not this person though. This person gets it. Despite having characteristics society says are “disorders” this person is coming into loving who and what they are. I’m glad to see The Transamorous Network content contributing to that.
Check out what they wrote:
Hi! [sorry if I use any offensive terms, I’m just now learning]
Just wanted to say these articles are really honest and thought-provoking. It’s a lot to think about. I want to talk about my reasons for loving trans people.
I, too, am a male at the end of a long cishet relationship (18 yrs!). I never hid my attraction to trans people or cheated (we have an open relationship, communicate well), but I’m finding that I’m actually pansexual, with the strongest attractions to transfem people (femboys in my case) and also cis women. I could fall for the right guy, too. I need more, and it’s not just a kink or a passing interest.
I myself have a fair deal of gender dysphoria, and I want to explore that with someone who knows where I’m coming from, you know?! I want to be more genderfluid and learn to be more feminine, express myself and my emotions better, change my appearance somewhat (I’m more dysphoric than dysmorphic, but still). I want to give and receive, be dominant and submissive, and learn to express positive emotions, not just the negative [read: masculine] ones.
As a male, most socialization and role models are toxic. Also, being in a cishet relationship is what society pushes one toward. It’s easier to coast along and just be unhappy, or to fall victim to the sunk cost fallacy once you’ve started a relationship. It’s especially easy to be stuck when you’ve had the example of parents or family members just being miserable and staying together anyway, as I have.
It’s all quite the minefield, with bi- and pan prejudice/erasure being a thing, as well as poor reaction to male-presenting people who love trans people. I also believe that polyamory would be best for me, thanks to my neurodivergent needs (auDHD) and the desire to try many different kinds of relationships. Perhaps I’m playing on hard mode, as it were. But I finally know who I am, and that at least feels good. It simply took my life disintegrating for me to question who I was in the first place.
And it’s not just the men. I get similar comments from trans women too. Like this one:
Let’s get radical
Let’s stop trying to fit in others’ boxes. Tear off labels people try putting on us. There’s no joy there, only disappointment. And even if we do fit in the box, that box is just going to get tighter as what we are expands. And besides, anyone who tries controlling people, in order to feel better, will not feel better in the end. Political strife we see in the US shows that clearly, doesn’t it?
So let’s get radical. Let’s give up all that shit and just accept who we are, wherever we are. For transgender people and trans-attracted people our self-acceptance is a revolutionary act. It literally revolutionizes what it means to be human.
And that is our collective purpose. Stop trying to fit in. Find our own places, take up space, then watch the world shape around us as a reflection of our self-love. That’s the message The Transamorous Network offers. It’s great when folks get it. They are exactly the kind of people I like working with and writing for.