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TLDR: The author asserts that trans women doubling down on their negative interpretation of the world do a disservice to themselves. The author also suggests that there are empowered trans women leading successful lives who enjoy their success because they live those lives in appreciation. They then show how momentum keeps some trans people from the life they want to live, keeping them stuck in what they’ve got.
Let’s be clear: There are people out there who do not want to accept that transgender people are a valid expression of humanity. Those same people are riddled with fear about the very existence of “transgender” as a thing and what that thing says about their beliefs.
Ok. Now that that is out of the way we can say this: NEVERTHELESS, THE WORLD IS GETTING BETTER FOR TRANSGENDER PEOPLE. That’s right, the situation is vastly improved. Sure, there’s room to go. But there always will be room to go because that’s what being human is all about!
The cool thing is, when humans put their attention on the fact that things are improving, they can’t help but experience more improvement. Do that long enough and, in time, the human’s life will reflect back to them more improvement. In other words, their personal life will increasingly get better.
And while it does that, there still will be experiences where other people’s lives aren’t improving. I’ll show why in a moment. But the point is, telling better-feeling stories about life improving is worth it. It will literally make our lives better in every way.
So why is it that so many transgender women keep focusing on all the bad? And why is it that if the world is getting so much better for transgender people, so many transgender people don’t see it? That’s what this post is about.
Let’s get to it.
Successful trans people exist
The fact is, life will get better even if we tell disempowering stories about it, because that’s just how life works. But for people telling disempowering stories about life, life gets better much slower. It may even look like life isn’t improving at all. And so, there will be more disempowering things for such people to moan about.
Meanwhile, doing that (moaning about what is) just makes life worse. But only for those moaning. In the meantime, there are many trans people whose lives are getting better. I’ve written and interviewed several. So I know a thing or two about this.
All of those successful trans people don’t tell disempowering stories about themselves or the world around them. They’re too busy focused on what lights their fire. And so their lives fill with more things that light their fire: more success, more fun, more money and more joy.
But there are those trans women doing the opposite. They’re complaining about their lives and the plight of being trans. So they get more things to complain about. Don’t believe me? Or are you getting defensive now because the trans women I’m describing sounds like you?
Well, hang on a moment, it’s going to get more juicy. Because I’m about to give examples.
Advocating for the world getting better for trans people
I write a lot about how the world is improving for transgender women. Why? Because I know that’s happening and want trans women to know it too. I want them to know it because while I focus on all the good stuff happening in my life, my life is improving, in exactly the same way I described above. So I know that if trans women see the world positively, their lives would improve too.
In other words, I’m a huge advocate for trans women. I want success for every one of them. And, I know the best way they can enjoy success is to manifest it.
That’s why last April, I wrote yet another story in the long list of stories I’ve shared showing how great the world is becoming for trans women. The most recent was back in April.
That post responded to a post a trans woman wrote about how the United States is a state of hatred towards trans people, which is total bullshit. To support my assertion, I cited two reputable polling results. Those results show the vast MAJORITY of Americans support trans people, which means the US is a very good place for trans women to live. Totally the opposite of what the author wrote in her post.
What happened next is interesting.
Ignoring the obvious positive data
I decried the author’s focus and exaggeration of the tiny minority of Americans who struggle over accepting trans people. Then I criticized her using that minority opinion to mean that all of American does similarly. And, as I wrote above, I offered overwhelming evidence her views are just not accurate.
What happened next fully supports what you’re reading here. What happened is a perfect example for why so many trans women struggle with life even though they don’t have to.
Here’s what happened: nearly every trans woman who commented on my post ignored the positive data. Never mind my opinion, they didn’t even accept the data! Instead, they doubled down on their perspective that the world is bad for trans people and that people hate them.
At least when I pointed this out to one of the commenters, she acknowledged that that’s what she was doing. But the others, even after pointing out they were doing exactly what I suggested makes trans women’s lives suck, they just kept right on doing it!
It’s no wonder so many trans women struggle with life. They’re unwilling to have anything better! Or better said, they don’t realize they and only they make their lives sucky and that they and only they can use that same ability to make their lives better. How? By looking at how good their life already is.
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Finding empowerment in blame
Now, I’m not blaming the victim. If you think I am, you should read this post, because there are no victims. Everyone creates their own reality. That’s a statement of awesome empowerment potential. Because if you are responsible for creating the life you have, that means you can create any life you want! Evidence you’re creating your life is right in front of you: it’s your life! No one else is creating it!
I tell my clients all the time the proof they want that they are in the driver’s seat of their lives is the connection between their thoughts and their lives. There is always a direct connection. Sometimes it helps for someone like me to point to the connection. It can be difficult to see your own life this way.
Sometimes, when I share this, trans women will resist the accuracy of what you’re reading by claiming, again, that I’m blaming them for their trouble. Well, they are to blame. But here’s the thing: they also can be empowered by that realization.
And this is the power of belief. It’s extremely disempowering to feel blame about a situation, especially one’s life. That feeling tells us that the thoughts we’re thinking about what we’re thinking about are not helpful.
It’s a whole other, way more powerful place, however, to believe that because we are in the driver’s seat of our lives we can literally create any life we want! It’s even more empowering to put that belief to the test, see the results and feel how delicious empowerment feels.
Yet so many trans women refuse to give it a try.
Why is that? In a word: momentum.
Trans women: embrace your power
Many trans women are overwhelmed by the momentum of their creative powers.
That’s right. We all create our reality. We do that because we are powerful creators with the unlimited power of the Universe at our disposal. But we also enjoy free will, meaning we can do anything we want with that power. Including disempower ourselves.
But the Universe loves us and will always give us feedback about what we’re creating. Which explains why so many trans women’s lives suck. The Universe is urging such people through the feedback that looks like a sucky life to change what they’re doing. Change what they’re doing so they can enjoy life more.
That’s the same message this blog post and all the posts I post are about: getting trans women to embrace their power. Embrace it so they can turn their lives into the joyful lives they knew was available before choosing to coming into the world as a transgender person.
But so many come to these posts, read them, then double down on their disempowering stories. Just as they ignore the Universe’s urgings and keep doubling down on their sucky thoughts. Which is exactly what happened with that post I wrote in April. And probably will happen with this post too.
Even so, I’ll never stop sharing about how great life is. Not how great life can be, how great life is. Even for trans woman. Even though they keep believing the world hates them.