Editor’s note: In this series, we’ll highlight conversations with our readers/viewers. We think folks will benefit from these conversations. All names are made up to protect everyone’s privacy:
I feel bad. I see myself in a similar situation in the future. I am just too scared to meet with trans women. And I have been denying this for years and dating cis-women.
I’ve sometimes seen profiles in dating apps that emerged between cis women and stayed there reading and wanting to swipe right on that trans girl, but ended up swiping left as my anxiety and fear would make things too hard.
At the same time I feel it’s unfair for the poor cis women I’ve dated in the past, although with some of them I’ve had a strong romantic attraction.
Jeb
Hey Jeb,
I once was there. I denied it for years. I didn’t fully embrace my trans attraction and let go of my fear and shame for a while. But then it got too unbearable not being fully myself.
I remember at the time dating a cis-girl. I went over to her house. She was the VP of an insurance company. Very smart. Pretty. Capable. Lovely.
But my desire for transgender women – which is a strong part of who and what I am – exerted itself. I felt great discomfort standing simultaneously in the reality where I was with this capable cis-girl, and the reality I knew was possible, a reality I call “having it all”.
So there I was, at her house. We were just chatting about nothing when all of a sudden, it came out of me. I blurted out “[her name], I can’t do this anymore. I love transgender women. I always have. I have to pursue that.”
I don’t remember what happened next. But I’m so happy I did that. The Transamorous Network, my current experiences…all of it…has come from that.
So really, my fear was more about being “out” about my trans attraction to myself than to others. Back then, my outer reality, the way I lived, matched my inner reality. I was miserable inside.
Now that those two are in synch I no longer feel fear or denial or misery. I feel the pleasure of integration and knowing, and confidence about the goodness of my desire.
You can have this too, Jeb. And you will. When you’re ready.
Editor’s note: In this series, we’ll highlight conversations with our readers/viewers. We think folks will benefit from these conversations. All names are made up to protect everyone’s privacy:
Transwomen are not women. I wish we would stop saying that. That is INAUTHENTIC! I’m not dogging the attraction to transgender MTF – I’m just calling a spade a spade. They are NOT women. Maybe calling them that makes them and the men attracted to them feel better. But, I’m sorry, as a natal woman, I can say unequivocally, they are not women. That being said, your article has helped me as my husband is transattracted and I have known for a long time that I can’t meet his needs. Thank you for validating that.
Marcia
Hi Marcia!
You’re welcome Marcia. Yes. My wife couldn’t meet my needs as well. That didn’t make her bad or wrong. That’s just what was. What I learned from my marriage was she was a wonderful clarifier of what I really wanted. So our marriage was good for me. Perhaps you can see from a standpoint of the love you feel for him, that benefit you offer your husband.
It’s interesting. I participate in a discussion group of varied gendered people. When talking with both trans “men” and trans “women”, they revealed that they find being among cis-women and cis-men, now that they have transitioned, as very challenging. They find cis-people (men and women) far more distinct from them than they originally thought. It’s challenging acknowledging the accuracy of what you’re saying though because many, many, MANY transgirls want so bad to find a place to “fit in” rather than finding satisfaction and joy in their own distinctness, being as something different from both man or woman. It’s not as homogenous as you would think though. For there are, indeed, some transgirls who acknowledge that they are not “women”.
It’s all about the stories people are telling, right?
Until that unwillingness to accept themselves goes away, it’s going to be challenging doing away with this conversation. Part of our work at The Transamorous Network is having people authentically embrace who and what they are. For some, it’s a very long road. Glad we could help you chart your path.
We believe transgender people and those who love them can easily and effortlessly meet one another.
It doesn’t have to be hard. It doesn’t have to be expensive. And it can be fun!
Apparently, there are a lot of people in the transgender community who would love help finding love. Maybe you’re one of them.
You love life should be fun. And easy.
With viral stories of transgender people finding their partners (mostly trans-trans relationships) those in the trans community could be lulled into thinking everything is hunky dory as far as dating-while-trans or trans-attracted is concerned.
Until one thinks of their own experience.
Even if you’re a celebrity and transgender, you’re likely to be involuntarily, chronically single.
Transgender, supermodel and still can’t find a partner. (from Google)
What about transamorous guys? Fugetdaboutit!
We’ve gotten a calls from all kinds of people, asking for help them with their love life. Cis men, cisgender women, transgender women, even transgender men have called us. There are a lot of people looking for love.
Perhaps they’re looking for you!
• • •
We’ve been thinking for some time of offering a service to help single people in the transgender community easily and effortlesslyfind their mates.
We know how frustrating it can be using online dating sites or going to bars in hopes of finding The One.
Make no mistake, those approaches can work. But it’s usually no fun. It involves a lot of heavy lifting, trial and error and, frankly, kissing a lot of frogs.
PUCKER UP SWEETHEART!
And, if you haven’t got your stories straight, those relationships tend to not work out anyway…
• • •
Long ago, Perry learned that when one person calls a company asking for something, there are usually more who have the same need, but won’t call or write.
We know there are a lot of frustrated, tentative and yearning people out there. To those people: you’re not alone. You can have the love you want.
Our Match-making service can help.
Transgender community: Finding your ideal partner can be easy…and fun!
We are so confident this works, we are offering a money-back guarantee.
That’s right! We’re so sure it works, we’re guaranteeing it.
If you’ve tried all the usual ways to find a partner, remain single, are married but find your trans-attraction undeniable, or if you are disappointed with your dating results, you might want to try a different way.
Insanity: doing the same things over and over and expecting different results.
Our Match-Making Service Can Help!
Here’s what we know:
We know your daily life is the best place to meet your ideal partner. Actually, it’s the only place. After all, even if you are swiping right, you still end up meeting…in your daily life
We also know you are constantly being offered by your Inner Being, the Universe and All That Is, everything you’re wanting (whether you believe that or not, that’s what is happening). The only reason you’re not getting it (“it” in this case being the person you’re wanting to be in relationship with) is because you are telling yourself stories which prevent you from meeting that person.
For example, we just talked with a woman last night who has the story “everyone has flaws”. Guess what kind of people she’s been meeting? Alcoholics, emotionally unavailable people, gold diggers (she’s apparently has some money).
So it’s not the unavailability of people who want to be with you that’s the problem. They are out there. And they want to be with you.
The problem is the stories you’re telling. They are creating situations where you meet people consistent with those stories.
So given these premises, here’s how our plan works:
For a reasonable monthly fee, we’ll offer fun and engaging one-hour weekly sessions in which we’ll help you examine your stories, then replace those stories with stories more consistent and supportive of what you want.
Interestingly, the evidence we’ve produced in our lives is that when you do this, not only do people start coming out of the woodwork, every other aspect of life gets better too.
The weekly sessions are casual, guided conversations where we talk with you about what’s happening in your life. It’s impossible to talk about what’s happening and not have your stories surface.
Then we will show you how to easily create new stories consistent with what you’re wanting.
Your subscription also gets you access to group sessions held frequently, so you can benefit from hearing others going through similar challenges.
After each session, you’ll be encouraged to go about your daily life. With guidance from the sessions you’ll be able to see the signs in your life experience indicating that your life is shifting.
Over time, as you get better seeing the signs and telling better stories, you will naturally and effortlessly begin having conversations you haven’t had before with people you haven’t met before.
We’ll also offer a Facebook Group or perhaps a more private group online for you to connect with your fellow group session participants outside of the one-hour sessions, share your successes and your experiences along your path.
Essentially, we’re offering a fun, super-easy opportunity to meet your ideal partner in a natural setting (your life) where you don’t have to worry about fake photos, inaccurate or misleading profiles, creepy people, gold diggers or the inevitable yucky feeling that comes along with online dating, or going to bars or happy hours.
And, in the process the rest of your life will get better too.
And we guarantee it. So you really have nothing to lose.
So how much might this cost?
Less than a single, average counseling session. A The Transamorous Network membership is $150 a month for transgender women and $200 a month for men. You get one session a week, recorded sessions for playback later and you can text us on limited basis whenever you need further assistance.
Subscribe to the service. Click the button below to subscribe securely through PayPal. Select the right drop down. The selected amount will be billed to you every 30 days thereafter until you cancel your subscription.
Once this step is complete, you’ll be redirected to a page where you can schedule your 1:1 session.
It’s no surprise to us that Alex Jones, infamous hate monger and social media exile, also appears to be trans-attracted.
According to this first and original report the transphobe, alt-right, conspiracy purveyor, was caught red-handed, when he, himself inadvertently revealed in his browsing history, a transgender porn site. Today, four days later, more sites are beginning to announce the story, including The Independent.
The reason we’re not surprised by this is because often, the most virulently opposed people are often projecting their own self-loathing onto that which they are. The fact that Jones has, on many occasions, derided transgender people indicated to us long ago that he was likely trans-attracted.
History is replete with people like this. People who are against gay people, and yet are gay themselves has been a recurring theme among conservatives. It’s not any different with early-stage trans-attraction.
This should be an indicator to you, transgender community.
When you are railing against someone who hates you, there is likely something going on in that person that that person doesn’t have access to while you push back against their hate. Hating Alex Jones or any other closeted trans-attracted person, leaves no room for that person to own who they really are. Instead, it pushes them deeper into the closet and more stridently against you.
Often – probably more often than you realize – someone’s hatred of you is a cry for help: for understanding, for acceptance. It’s exactly the same for racists.
The transgender community can be the better side of the argument for transgender rights by releasing its own hatred and defensiveness for people like Alex Jones.
That’s what we’re doing at The Transamorous Network.
Sometimes the most powerful act is to turn the other cheek, meaning, let go of your unnatural inclination to hate back.
The result will surprise you. And make room for more people to confirm that loving you as a whole person –– whether you have a penis or a vagina –– is as natural as anything else.
A few transwomen (and, admittedly, a couple trans attracted men) read our material or check out our videos, then claim that we advocate the “silly” idea that if you just think happy thoughts, you’ll have a better life. Or if you meditate you’ll “get everything you want”.
We don’t say that.
Well, we do, but that’s a kind of shorthand describing a much more detailed process through which you already are, right now, creating the reality you’re experiencing. What we do advocate is a process which involves examining the stories you tell about your world, your “reality”. Then, after examining those stories, we advocate using a deliberate, conscious process that leads to new stories. These new stories are part of a larger process we describe more deeply in our material, a process that does actually get you everything you’re wanting: more money, that lover you want, that fulfilling and enjoyable work you wish you had, a safe place to live…whatever.
But we can’t go through the entire process in every one of our shows. That would be too repetitive and b-o-r-i-n-g.
Instead, we use a shorthand. That’s why we harp on “telling positive stories”.
Photo by Tom Barrett on Unsplash
Here’s a summary of the process. Again, it’s not as simple as this, that’s why it’s called a summary. Following this process will, guaranteed, produce a life where you have everything you’re wanting. No exceptions.
Let’s say you’re wanting to become a doctor. You create your reality. So to create the reality in which you are a doctor, here are the steps we recommend (and stand behind as guaranteed to work):
You must realize you are creating the realty you experience. For many, this is the most difficult step.
You must realize the creative momentum you have created up to this point. This momentum is creatively expressed as the life you currently have, warts and all. That creative momentum is strong and going against it, while possible, is going to take a while, just as it took a while to get where you’re at. So….
You must then start changing the stories (beliefs) you have about the reality you currently have. The primary story needing changing is that you think the world just “happens to you” out of some random, uncontrollable set of criteria such as your race, location, politics etc (see step one). Another primary story might be that you think things can not ever change. That story sounds like this: “Life sucks”, “Men are always…”, “Transwomen are always treated…” “Transwomen are all….”…
You must understand the nature of “momentum” (what it is and how it works) and begin creating momentum in the direction of where you’re wanting to go ( in our example, becoming a doctor).
Then you must begin telling stories about why you want to become a doctor, stories that create certain emotional responses within you. This emotional response is your first indicator that you have begun changing your reality. Meditation is certainly part of the process because, for most people, the mind is unruly and seemingly random in its thinking. It must be reined in to serve the deliberate creative process instead of creating willy-nilly or seemingly randomly.
Point five is a major milestone, known as the “Be” of the “Be, Do, Have” process resulting in becoming a doctor.
You must then continue telling such stories and having these certain emotional responses while training yourself to become sensitive to your inner being’s guidance through quieting your mental activity (meditation). As you become more sensitive, you will begin noticing you are receiving impulses to think certain thoughts and take certain actions. One, thought, for example might be “what is required to become a doctor?” You might then be inspired to go to the library or get on the internet and start researching. This is the “do” part of the process. You are being guided by your inner being to have thoughts (stories) and actions (manifested reality) that accord with “doing” what doctors do.
Over time, supposing you are consistent in the seven steps above, you MUST wind up in the “have” part of the “Be, Do, Have” process where you have, in actuality, your actual, real life, become a doctor.
That’s it. There is nothing magical to the process. It is not about daydreaming or telling yourself untrue stories. There’s a lot more to it than these eight steps because one must get clear on an accurate nature of “reality” and where it comes from for this process to really work, but that’s essentially it.
And it works.
Every time.
It is even working for you right now, although in a probably indirect, in-deliberate way. For many people, that’s why they have a life that is less than fulfilling. It’s not because of fate, or the circumstances, being born in the wrong place or even being trans or transattracted. It’s simply because people aren’t deliberately creating the life they can have. So they get the one they got.
That’s why we say everyone can have the life they want. It begins with telling positive stories. When are you going to get started?
