An Instagram follower offered an interesting perspective. It shows how powerful stories are. She suggested our content was superficial and didn’t take into account “nuance” that comes with being trans, particularly being both trans and a Person of Color (POC).
Indeed, she went so far as to suggest the person writing our content is cis, and being so, knows nothing about the plight of transgender people:
She is wrong on both counts.
Stories matter a lot
It’s interesting when people double down on their disempowerment as a way of trying to show us that what we offer can’t possibly work. “Complications” exist in every perspective. Such complications play no factor in how things happen in life…unless the life-liver invites them to play a factor.
A person invites such complications to have an effect on life by believing they have an effect. Just like this Instagram follower.
If a POC believes their status as a POC influences their life experience, it’s very hard to have an experience where that status doesn’t have an influence. I’m not saying such status doesn’t have an influence. What I am saying is, that influence is inconsequential when one takes control of stories they’re telling about such status, or any other limiting factor.
Results speak louder
The fact is, our clients find powerful lives through following our advice. So powerful is our advice that even POC find empowering lives. Here are results from actual clients, some of whom face the same apparent “nuances” this person suggests invalidates what we offer:
One transgender female client, who also is a person of color, credits this practice for keeping her from committing suicide.
Another transgender woman of color created a three-year marriage. She’s still in that marriage today, to a cis-gender male POC.
Yet another transgender woman is finding her way out of “online dating hell”. She’s discovering more happiness and hope that she can find a lover.
Still another created her dream career in photography through what we offer.
Meanwhile a trans-attracted guy who tried to kill himself three different times found liberation from suicide ideation. He now pursues his college education, and a career in show business!
Finally, another trans-attracted guy found greater peace and happiness within himself. Every week he discovers powerful insights leading to greater confidence and self-acceptance.
Nuance is a story. As is thinking skin color makes a difference in having what one wants. Neither nuance or skin color need determine one’s experience. Unless one believes they do. Everyone can enjoy a life in which everything they want happens. It’s just a matter of telling stories consistent with that rather than stories complaining or criticizing life.
We show clients how to do that. As a result, they become exceptions to the rules. They get what they want and they find happiness. Ready to find yours?
As Transamorous Network clients get how important their stories are, they also learn something crucial for living amazing lives: how to identify intrusive thoughts.
Intrusive thoughts are ideas popping up seeming unbidden. They are intuitions which, if followed, lead to everything someone wants.
But if a person doesn’t know how to tune themselves to intrusive thoughts, or they don’t understand where intrusive thoughts come from, life can get pretty crazy, including dating life. That crazy is where “drama” in relationships comes from.
Here’s how to put a stop to that and meet the guy or transgender woman you want.
Intrusive thoughts come from somewhere
Where intrusive thoughts come from is important, because if you don’t know where they’re coming from and you follow them, they could create experiences you don’t want, including drama.
Everyone creates their reality. Most people get a little of what they want and a lot of what they don’t. That’s because they don’t understand what you’re reading.
For example, a trans-attracted man who feels shame about his trans attraction will encounter realities in which the only transgender women he meets match his shame.
They (the transgender women) will be users, or they’ll consider him shady or a “chaser”. They themselves will be insecure and shame-filled (i.e. feeling unworthy) thereby perfectly matching the man’s feelings about himself.
In this humorous clip, a transgender woman gets an earful in her session as we talk (for the first time) about intrusive thoughts. It’s worth listening to because she gets several insights at once, all in less than five minutes.
Everyone is a match
This is why I’m not so interested in meeting transgender women right now. Because while I’m far beyond soothing negative stories that create shame, I want far more in my relationship than an average experience.
I want an extraordinary experience. Having that means I must be a match to it. I must, in other words, become extraordinary myself.
Everyone showing up in our lives matches stories we’re telling ourselves. Those stories determine what impulses, what intrusive thoughts come into our awareness. Our emotions help us know whether to follow an intrusive thought or not. So knowing how one feels is really important.
I know two things tell me how my life is going: what shows up in life now and how I feel.
Paying attention to that helps me understand what intrusive thoughts are coming and whether or not I want to follow them. Following those consistent with my positive stories is creating an increasingly amazing life.
Editors note: This true story comes from a transgender client who is six months into their 1:1 membership. It shows how telling positive stories transforms every part of life, making it fun and joyful.Note how every step of the way leads to more and better results. Every day is like this when you tell increasingly positive stories. Italicized paragraphs have been added for context.
My mom and I are moving. She can’t get her beloved grand piano into the new house we’re moving into, she’s going to have to sell it, and buy an upright piano. She contacted a specialist who came and valued it at £5000, but from that, he said he would take commission and the cost of restoration.
This didn’t seem right to me and I had the thought “I’m sure this piano is worth more.”
A story is nothing more than a thought or a belief you’re thinking at any moment. Learning how to tie your stories to how you feel can lead to incredible life experiences. This client understood how to tie her stories to her emotions. What happened next happened because she knows what to do when a positive story comes to her.
Positive stories makes connections clear
So a few days later I was shopping in my favourite wholefood and organic cleaning and beauty products shop. It is run by Jess – a friendly and enterprising South African man who I’ve always felt an attraction to.
I went in there to buy some cheap little Christmas gifts and got chatting as I normally do. Somehow the topic of music came up and he revealed that in a former life he had been a master Piano restorer, technician and salesman for the prestigious Kensington piano company in London.
He also revealed that he had left because of the underhand way piano businesses operate, and he had gone solo, building up an extensive and prestigious client base, including royalty, Yoko Ono and the Royal Academy of music in London.
Notice the tie between her previous experience with the former piano business operator and this former one. Note how connected the two experiences were…
It’s worth a lot more
I told him about my mum’s piano and after a few questions he said to me “I’m sure it’s worth a lot more.” I asked him if he would come and value it for a fee.
Knowing that I was also in the music business, he said to me “well I know everything there is to know about acoustic pianos. But I’m in the market for a vintage Fender Rhodes or Wurlitzer piano, and I know nothing about electric pianos. If you could get me a good electric piano from the 70s era, I’ll come and do the valuation for free.”
I put a post on Facebook, and within an hour or two my uncle, who happens to run a piano tuning and keyboard hire business, contacted me to let me know he had one available. I’ve put Jess and my uncle in contact and it turns out they both worked with the same piano restorer colleague many years ago.
Whenever two people come together, it’s always for mutual benefit. Whether trans-attracted or transgender, when you meet someone, mutual benefit always takes place. That doesn’t mean you experience the benefit, even though it did happen. In most situations, people miss benefits they got. It’s easy to see the benefits though when you know how stories create reality.
It gets better…
Two days ago Jess came and valued my mum’s piano and has already found a buyer for it for £10,000, double the original valuation. No need for restoration, and no commission.
Because this client waited and let the Universe orchestrate her outcomes, she got a wonderful, delightful outcome….but it did get better…
This morning I picked up the Wurlitzer from my uncle who happened to be in London on a piano tuning job … Jess and my uncle have not yet spoken about money, however Jess told me that he has some very lucrative business opportunities and propositions for my uncle.
When I picked up the keyboard this morning, my uncle asked me what price he should sell it for. I gave him my opinion but added he might want to consider Jess’s business proposition before charging him anything at all. If he gives you some really lucrative work, I said, maybe you’d like to give him the keyboard for free. He agreed.
The keyboard comes without legs. One or two Facebook posts later, I had sourced same exact model legs and could be in receipt of them within days. My plan is to give them to Jess for free. They only cost about £200, but we are making an extra £5000 on the basis of his goodwill.
So Jess gets to pass on his business and he gets a free keyboard. We get a free valuation and double our money! And I get to broker satisfaction for everyone!
This client’s life increasingly includes, on the daily, experiences like this. Your life happens this way too. Want to learn to see your life that way? Contact us.
The easiest, most fun way to find yourself in a rewarding relationship with your ideal transgender partner is by becoming a match to your ideal. You do that by telling positive stories about life.
Speaking practically, telling positive stories creates positive life experiences. Consistent positive story telling creates momentum. Momentum held long enough, will draw your ideal partner right into your bed, guaranteed.
Simple experiments prove this. One need not understand or believe metaphysical or spiritual explanations for why this happens.
Think about it: if you want that beautiful, smart, confident, strong, capable courageous, proud and powerful transgender woman, and you are not beautiful, smart, confident, strong, capable courageous, proud and powerful, you’re not a match to what you want. You get what you think about, what you “be” about, i.e. what you tell stories about.
The stories you tell become who you are. From there, your life experience literally erupts from you, creating experience, people and events matching your stories. Everyone does this all day every day. Most don’t realize they’re doing it.
Why does life work this way?
Positive stories cause human senses to filter out anything not perceived positive. Again: our senses filter experience all day every day, allowing only experiences consistent with our persistent stories. Many transgender women, on balance, are fairly negative, so their life experiences match that.
Same with trans-attracted men’s stories about themselves, about life, probably and about transgender women. If one’s beliefs about trans women aren’t consistent with the trans woman one wants, guess what kind of trans woman one meets? If ones stories about themselves aren’t empowering, inspiring, positive and joyful, one gives off “vibes” consistent with disempowering, uninspiring, negative stories. It’s simple.
You may ask: What about people who seem positive? Why do they have seeming random negative events happen? Someone once told me a story of a trans woman they believed was always positive. She even practiced “the power of positive thinking”. Yet, someone murdered this trans woman.
The thing about creating reality is, one best knows what reality they’re creating in two ways: how they feel, and what shows up in their reality. It’s near impossible to tell what another has in their collection of stories by watching how they behave, or what they say. It’s much better watching how their life goes.
A lot of people who appear positive and happy, are not. They are insecure, lonely, they feel vulnerable, afraid and judged. Many seemingly successful and happy people exemplified this. Robin Williams, Freddie Prinze, Anthony Bourdain, Margaux Hemingway, Daniel Lee Martin, Philip Seymour Hoffman and many others struggled with pain and depression, finally taking their own lives when they appeared on the surface as “successful”.
So people usually have both positive and negative stories going on in their heads at the same time. Their lives include events exemplifying both.
Random negative experiences, such as getting robbed or raped, hit by a bus, or assaulted for being trans aren’t random. They come from long-term focus on negative stories or mixed stories with a negative ones outweighing positive ones.
The benefit of emotions
Often people can’t hear stories they’re telling. That’s why humans come equipped with emotions. Negative stories feel like “fear”, “insecurity”, “worry” or “victimhood”. Told often enough such stories become the person.
From the person then erupts experiences, people and events consistent with stories they’ve become. That’s why people get robbed, raped, hit by a bus or assaulted for being trans.
The same things happen for shame-filled trans-attracted men. Their negative stories about their attraction matches them to trans women who share similar (although not identical) stories. In other words, such men meet trans women who are not beautiful, smart, confident, strong, capable courageous, proud and powerful.
Often such feelings get past one’s perception because one focuses too much on what’s happening outside their head. Focus works best when it predominantly focuses on what’s happening inside one’s head first, since everything happening outside one’s head springs from what happens inside one’s head.
Negativity owes itself to positivity
Very few people chronically tell positive stories. There are many people, and a lot of trans women telling negative stories though. Everyone’s life matches their stories.
But even negative story tellers from time to time experience positive experiences. They do because a little positivity overwhelms tons of negativity. It does because negative “energy” isn’t an energy. Negative “energy” is what happens when positive energy gets diminished.
In other words, negative “energy” owes its existence to its relativity to positive energy. It has no substance, no independent existence of its own. It is defined by a lack of positivity.
What’s more, a chronically negative person still is, at the core, pure positive energy. That energy, no matter how obscured it may be by negative focus, still can overcome its overshadowed state when the negative-focused person drops their guard.
When he’s not paying attention, asleep or doing something “mindless” such as driving a car, taking a shower or experiencing something fun, positive focus’ power eeks through. That’s why a negative person can sometimes experience positive experiences.
Positive benefits feel fun
When I’m positive and excited by my positive stories, when I’m enthusiastic and eager about what I’m up to (or planning), I open up. I’m open to possibility, I see things consistently negative people can’t.
The world is full of delights.
Staying positive I produce results easily and fast. More important, on the way to those outcomes, I enjoy life more. That means life experience becomes more entertaining, more fun, more positive.
“Happy accidents”, what some people call “luck”, happen often for people telling positive stories. It’s not luck, but who cares what it’s called? Through such events problems solve themselves faster compared to focusing on the problem, trying to find a solution or trying to make a solution work.
When negative, one sees more negativity. Such focus turns things into “impossible problems.” When someone filters life through negative stories, the sheer enormity of bad things in the world overwhelms awareness. Every Transamorous guy becomes a “tranny chaser”. Every trans woman is a potential victim, every trans woman a guy meets ends up being a skeezer, working girl or gold digger.
A lot of people stand in such negative stories. Yet no such experiences need happen to anyone.
That’s incredibly naive
Someone reading this may not believe a bit of it. The majority of people believe negative situations described above are just natural parts of being trans-attracted, transgender or human.
I know, and my clients know, this is NOT NATURAL. Anyone well-practiced in telling positive stories discovers this.
A Positively Focused person knows her life experience springs ongoingly from her, not others. So she focuses on the one thing that really matters: her focus, not what others say, do or believe. Which is why my clients sometimes find their old friends getting on their nerves. My clients become so positive and their old friends’ chronic negativity so obvious, they become like oil and water: intolerable of each other.
Here’s the critical thing about being negative: It’s very hard to turn that train around. A life-long “realistic”, pessimistic or negative person may feel right about the world they experience. And they will be right.
They’ll be right because life experience springs from their stories. That doesn’t mean an alternative experience, one in which all desires fulfill themselves, including desire to have their ideal partner in their bed, doesn’t exist.
Momentum is momentum though. It takes a lot of work initially reversing negative-focus momentum. Since lives full of fulfilled desires are possible for everyone, that work pales in comparison to benefits derived, making the effort worth it.
Desires fulfilling themselves.It’s a life available to anyone, because everyone at their core is positively focused. It’s worth it. It’s fun and it’s everyone’s birthright. Even for trans and trans-attracted people.
Not living one’s birthright, in my opinion, is living. But just barely. Wanting that ideal woman in your bed is no fun if all you have is an empty bed.
Our latest guest, Anita Noelle Green, offers men who are attracted to trans women good advice: get over your shame, date us in public and treat us like women. Good advice! Our full two-part interview with Anita Noelle Green is coming soon. Be sure to subscribe and hit the bell to get notified! And follow The Transamorous Network wherever you are on social media.
Need help figuring out how to get over your shame? Contact us.