It’s wonderful watching trans-attracted and transgender clients get lives promised through The Transamorous Network. It doesn’t happen all at once, but every client eventually gets it. I find joy watching clients create such experiences for themselves.
When such clients write me offering me high praise for how I helped them, it just adds more joy to my experience. Especially trans-attracted men. They often struggle seemingly all alone with their fear. Fear compounded by bogus stories. Stories that create realities which exacerbate their fear.
Transgender women struggle with similar disempowering stories. But these days, far more support exists for them. Still, it’s easy for transgender women to feel alone and unloved. Especially when they create realities in which they meet insecure men. Men unwilling to love them for what and who they are.
So when trans-attracted men and transgender women thank me for helping them change their life it confirms why I do what I do. I know the more people living lives they love, the better the world gets. A better world for everyone is my core commitment.
A trans-attracted client started his new year by texting me how much his life changed since he learned his trans-attraction is wholesome, authentic and something to be proud of. I hadn’t seen in six months. Yet, what we did back then continues making a difference for him:
The “shock and awe”
I get similar comments from transgender woman clients. Every transgender woman and trans-attracted man can enjoy a life in which they get everything they want. No exceptions. Such a life, when it starts happening makes a person “extremely appreciative” for the growth. Such a life is what we all expected we’d enjoy before we chose becoming human.
But it’s easy to get off track. That’s because life experience, from the moment we’re born, is the embodiment of “shock and awe”. The feeling of being limited in a fleshy, bony body is so diametrically opposed to freedom we all knew in nonphysical, we all kind of just freak out.
Insecurity and fear immediately force us into the state of “human”. Then the vast majority of us forget what we really are. From there, that almost always creates a divergence from the path we intended.
But even that divergence represents the path. For in our disappointments and fears and actions we take from those, we create more of what we want. What we want then waits for us until we eventually regain our eternal awareness.
Through The Transamorous Network I show clients how to regain their eternal awareness. When that happens, they also regain their empowerment. Empowerment to follow whatever dream they prefer. When they do, finding love, self-acceptance, freedom and happiness happens naturally. So does “extreme appreciation”.
Everything we want is ours. That’s the life we knew we’d have. If yours doesn’t match that, and you want it to, contact me. I can help.
There are a lot of people benefiting from advice I give here at The Transamorous Network. Every week, I get positive responses to stories I published. But this week takes the cake. It’s so confirming reading comments like the one I’m about to share.
It really makes the vitriol I get sometimes worth it. I started this blog to help transgender women and trans-attracted men find the love they so desperately want. The main thing I do with clients is show them the number one place they will always find consistent love.
That is from themselves.
But the great thing about finding love there is that once they find that, the world around them will reflect that back to them. That’s why people love advice I give. It resonates with people’s core awareness. Many aren’t as connected to that. But those who are find my advice powerfully resonates.
It’s great when I read comments from people getting inspiration from what they read on this blog. Let’s take a look at the most recent example (at the time of writing this).
Self-acceptance is everything
If we don’t accept ourselves, the world will reflect that back to us. We’ll meet all kinds of people amplifying our stories. Not this person though. This person gets it. Despite having characteristics society says are “disorders” this person is coming into loving who and what they are. I’m glad to see The Transamorous Network content contributing to that.
Check out what they wrote:
Hi! [sorry if I use any offensive terms, I’m just now learning] Just wanted to say these articles are really honest and thought-provoking. It’s a lot to think about. I want to talk about my reasons for loving trans people.
I, too, am a male at the end of a long cishet relationship (18 yrs!). I never hid my attraction to trans people or cheated (we have an open relationship, communicate well), but I’m finding that I’m actually pansexual, with the strongest attractions to transfem people (femboys in my case) and also cis women. I could fall for the right guy, too. I need more, and it’s not just a kink or a passing interest.
I myself have a fair deal of gender dysphoria, and I want to explore that with someone who knows where I’m coming from, you know?! I want to be more genderfluid and learn to be more feminine, express myself and my emotions better, change my appearance somewhat (I’m more dysphoric than dysmorphic, but still). I want to give and receive, be dominant and submissive, and learn to express positive emotions, not just the negative [read: masculine] ones.
As a male, most socialization and role models are toxic. Also, being in a cishet relationship is what society pushes one toward. It’s easier to coast along and just be unhappy, or to fall victim to the sunk cost fallacy once you’ve started a relationship. It’s especially easy to be stuck when you’ve had the example of parents or family members just being miserable and staying together anyway, as I have.
It’s all quite the minefield, with bi- and pan prejudice/erasure being a thing, as well as poor reaction to male-presenting people who love trans people. I also believe that polyamory would be best for me, thanks to my neurodivergent needs (auDHD) and the desire to try many different kinds of relationships. Perhaps I’m playing on hard mode, as it were. But I finally know who I am, and that at least feels good. It simply took my life disintegrating for me to question who I was in the first place.
And it’s not just the men. I get similar comments from trans women too. Like this one:
Let’s get radical
Let’s stop trying to fit in others’ boxes. Tear off labels people try putting on us. There’s no joy there, only disappointment. And even if we do fit in the box, that box is just going to get tighter as what we are expands. And besides, anyone who tries controlling people, in order to feel better, will not feel better in the end. Political strife we see in the US shows that clearly, doesn’t it?
So let’s get radical. Let’s give up all that shit and just accept who we are, wherever we are. For transgender people and trans-attracted people our self-acceptance is a revolutionary act. It literally revolutionizes what it means to be human.
And that is our collective purpose. Stop trying to fit in. Find our own places, take up space, then watch the world shape around us as a reflection of our self-love. That’s the message The Transamorous Network offers. It’s great when folks get it. They are exactly the kind of people I like working with and writing for.
So many transgender women blame men for their dating experiences. I hear their complaints often through correspondence here at The Transamorous Network.
Meanwhile, I must sound like a broken record. I’m sure some roll their eyes when I say “you meet these kinds of men because you’re a match to them. Change the stories about men you’re meeting and you’ll meet different men. If you don’t, you’ll keep meeting these men you revile.”
Here’s a perfect example of a typical response I get:
Well, dear transgender women readers, if you won’t listen to me, perhaps you’ll listen to a fellow transgender woman. This person is not a client. And yet what she shares is exactly what I tell my clients repeatedly.
In a story she wrote for Halloween, she acknowledged her past experiences which showed her how she perfectly matched men she met. Not only does she describe it perfectly, she also acknowledges the fact: every transgender woman creates every situation they experience.
Indeed. And that includes men they meet. Here’s the author’s own words:
“…I was…attracting the wrong kind of men. It turns out that you get what you fish for. If you use trampy bait, you will get trampy men. If you’re advertising sex, men will expect it.”
The gold is within
In other words, who we’re being, creates experiences we get. If we’re getting a certain kind of man, we’re creating him. So the solution is do something about who we’re being. Complaining about what we’re getting won’t work!
This transgender woman shares so much gold. The story is worth reading in its entirety. In it she confronts her own stories, who she was being, and in doing so, she owns having created her past experiences. Then she changes who she was being, first by examining what stories she put out in the past, then conjuring new stories about what she wanted.
Is it any wonder this transgender woman is in a relationship? Here’s some more gold:
“What I need to consider is what do I want a man to see when he does notice me? What kind of man am I interested in? That just gets me back to understanding myself. What do I like and what do I want to call into my life? Do I want to call in a seedy one-night stand or a man who is interested in some deeper part of me? In my case, I decided on the latter.”
A human being is a powerful, eternal expression of All That Is. In that expression we enjoy full free will. We can create any experience we desire. No one else does it but us.
The question remains then: when transgender women blame men for their experiences, who really is to blame? Is there really blame to assign? Or is it really the case of an eternal being (the trans woman), having chosen to come into the world as trans, figuring out the best way to joy, but getting stuck in her shoddy creations?
Those are questions every transgender woman should seriously consider.
I love it when a past transgender or trans-attracted client writes me to share results they’re still getting from telling positive stories. It’s a fringe benefit I enjoy: seeing the power of “stories create reality” in past clients.
People who understand and then implement that line get positive results that keep on coming.
That’s why I’m not surprised when clients write sharing their continuing wonder at how great their life keeps getting. When they share, their evidence amplifies my own. I get charge reading their ongoing results as much as I enjoy getting my own results.
When we tell only positive stories about our experience, we start seeing the world differently from most other people. One client for example, shared how, before her practice, her life mainly was composed of worry, dissatisfaction and boredom. She felt some contentment every now and then. But she knew nothing like what she discovered after she changed stories she told about life. She said nearly all her friends still consistently live the way she once did.
That confirms my experience. Most people just don’t know how great life is. But a joyful life can show up for anyone. All it takes: a willingness to deliberately focus. Today, this client is loving life. She’s finding herself consistently in wonder and amazement. For her, boredom, worry and dissatisfaction no longer show up. She’s gotten so much reward, she’s now an advanced practitioner and finding even greater levels of wonder.
The upward spiral is real y’all
On my other blog, I wrote about the positive feedback loop clients get from this practice. Life just gets better and better. By telling positive stories about life, life becomes a virtuous upward spiral. Gradually, subjects we care about improve. And the more they improve, the more they improve.
That’s because of the positive-feedback-loop nature of the practice. Meaning, continuing improvement births even more continuing improvement. And no limits exist to how improved life gets!
A Positively Focused practice (telling positive stories) creates an unending, increasingly joyful life.
So when a past trans client recently wrote me, I wasn’t surprised at how great his (he uses he/him pronouns) life keeps getting. Instead, I congratulated him. Consistently telling positive stories takes some doing. Especially if life isn’t going so well at first. After a while though, it’s just automatic. It’s automatic because that’s the way our Broader Perspective wants us living. And from there, all we desire becomes possible.
But a peculiar thing clients experience surprises them. It’s how they see how different other people experience life. Which is what this client shared:
It’s so great hearing from clients living joyful lives. I love that I’m a part of that change in their lives. It’s a fringe benefit I enjoy from helping others find their connection to the life many think impossible. Especially transgender and trans-attracted people.
The thing is, everything is possible. The only thing limiting life are stories we tell about life. Want to change your stories? Contact me.
Sometimes I’ll learn something great from clients. They come looking for relief from shame and embarrassment about being Trans-attracted. Or transgender women will come to me looking for freedom from a steady stream dating experiences that suck.
All clients, whether trans or trans-attracted seek something they know they’ll feel better if they get it. I’m focused on creating lives – for myself and others – that include everything wanted flowing effortlessly. I know this is possible. So clients who stick with me eventually get that, because that’s the story I’m committed to. They eventually relax into their trans-attraction, or their status as a transgender person. Then they get the wonderful life that is naturally theirs.
The process through which that happens often teaches me things too. That’s one reason I love this practice. It’s a non-ending series of expansionary moments adding up to the Charmed Life I write about.
Case in point: A recent experience with a trans-attracted client who quit his practice. Not only did his quitting teach me something, it proves the power inherent in telling stories.
Paying the price of struggle
Many people think “stories create your reality” or “manifesting” depends on focusing on what we want. Focus on what you want, goes the general lesson, and what you want will manifest. And while that is true, usually what’s happening is we focus on something other than what we want. Then we get that. And then we say “this manifesting business doesn’t work”. It’s why so many don’t believe “stories create your reality” works. It’s working. But the reality people get runs counter to what they want. And that’s because they’re not focusing on what they want.
What happened with this client demonstrates this with supreme perfection. I wrote about his departure in a Positively Focused blog post last week. In that post I shared how he chose a life of struggle and hard work as though those things were badges of honor.
However, a life of hard work and sacrifice isn’t worthy of a badge of honor. Well, it is to other humans. Other people will look at your struggle and hard work and tell you you’re doing an honorable thing. This includes the transgender community. Look around you. If you’re a transgender woman, I wager that your friends support your dating struggle. That’s because they struggle too. So your struggle and their struggle appear “normal”, the price you must pay to get what you want.
BUT YOU NEEDN’T PAY THAT PRICE. In paying that price, you help others feel better about their struggle. Meanwhile you don’t get what you want. Or, if you do, you feel crappy about the process of getting there and likely settle for something less than what you want or give up completely. Your example will, again, help others doing the same feel better about what they’re doing. Which produces the same results you produce.
Living a life of ease
But you’re not here to help others feel better about what they’re doing. You and I and everyone else came here for the fun of life. Not struggle. Transgender and trans-attracted people especially, came to live lives of unique, beautiful, expressive examples of human evolution!
We transgender and trans-attracted people exist to live our lives as the gods we are. We’re here to create unique lives consistent with that which thrills us. And, frankly, I don’t know anyone thrilled about living lives of struggle, sacrifice and pain born of working hard. Nor am I aware of anyone thrilled with a life wherein they don’t get what they want.
Lives lived as the gods we are lead to fun, joy and freedom. The path of struggle, hard work and sacrifice CAN lead there. But often, it doesn’t. (My artwork)
But nearly everyone lives lives almost exclusively filled with that. And the reason people feel anxiety about their lives, or depression, is, at the core of what they are, they know a better path is available.
So few take that path because they get caught up in stories lived by others which lead them astray. Meanwhile, a life of ease, joy and fun awaits those who choose the other way.
We’re all free to choose
It bears repeating. The honorable life is one lived consistent with what and who we are as gods in human form. That’s why the masses and society in general idolize those who “walk to the beat of their own drum”, who are authentic pioneers creating something brand new or earth shattering. Rarely do such people follow society’s general life prescription.
Living that way, as powerful creators we all are, means casting off bogus stories so we live lives wherein everything we want happens effortlessly. Our life can include all manner of great things, including awesome love with that perfect match, where all our needs are met. Humans are the only beings on this planet mostly not living this way. Meanwhile, everything else in nature enjoys the joy I’m describing. I described this in my previous post on Positively Focused.
So many humans choose struggle instead. Then venerate struggle as somehow honorable. I show people how to live lives of joy. Not struggle. So my clients’ lives become the Charmed Life I write about. Not every client ultimately chooses that though. And I must be ok with their choice.
Which brings me back to the client who recently left the pratice. This client chose to follow society’s stories of struggle and sacrifice. Their choosing taught me something awesome.
The power of powerful stories
I saw tremendous potential in this client. He quickly grasped the fundamentals. As a result, our conversations often included profound insights and realizations about how great life is. We also reveled over experiences he created up to that point. Experiences proving undoubtedly that the practice works. Some such manifestations he created he originally thought impossible.
For example, he once believed no transgender women lived in his community. As he changed his stories, though, he came to see them often. It’s not that the women weren’t there. They were. But his stories blinded him to their presence. Once he changed his stories, they started showing up everywhere.
Another, more powerful transformation involved something he did in the past. That act brought him so much shame and self-loathing, he considered ending his life on several occasions. A simple process of changing his stories about that act totally transformed his perspective about the act. Over time, he gave up suicidal thoughts. Then he saw how that act offered excellent future opportunity to transform other people’s lives.
So this client produced quite a number of experiences proving to him “stories create your reality” works. I saw even more powerful realizations ahead of him, were he to continue the practice.
My Powerful stories…
Yet, I also saw in him a potential for “darkness”. By darkness I mean a tendency, a strong potential, that others’ bogus stories about life would sweep him up and carry him away from his emerging Charmed Life.
I likened him to Anakin Skywalker, father of the famous Star Wars Jedi, Luke Skywalker. Anakin became the Star Wars villain Darth Vader after giving into the Dark Side of the Force. Anakin’s mentor, Obi Wan Kenobi saw great potential in Anakin. But what Obi Wan and his fellow Jedi Masters also saw was potential for the Dark Side. In the same way, I saw great potential in my client. And a chance he wouldn’t fulfill that potential.
A wax sculpture at the Madame Tussauds Star Wars exhibit in London depicting Hayden Christensen as Anakin Skywalker from the prequel trilogy. The client who recently ended his membership reminded me of the power of this Star Wars character possessed. And a similar potential for succumbing to the Dark Side. (Photo By big-ashb)
Self-fulfilling prophesy
I often shared this perspective with that client. I hoped doing so would encourage his leaning into the light of his Charmed Life. In doing so I forgot how effective I am as a creator. I forgot I create my reality — including how others show up — through what I focus on. Not what I want.
The more sessions we enjoyed, the more encouraged I got about his potential. But the more potential I saw, the stronger my thoughts about him “turning” got. Since I identify strongly with Jedi stories, I recognize a lot of momentum exists in me about those stories. What I didn’t realize was how powerfully they’d create the client I ended up with.
Later in our session evolution, I sensed a “disturbance” in his way of being. He started coming to sessions less prepared. He started offering pespectives reflecting doubt and suspicion. And he started questioning my path. He became a version of Anakin Skywalker. Right before my eyes! He even turned to the hard-work encouraging book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People!
One day he strongly disputed the validity of the personal reality unfolding in my life. Of course, he knew his stories about my unfolding reality was irrelevant. And he knew such doubts would create realities for him that would eventually have him leave the practice. But that didn’t stop his momentum. A momentum amplified by my own focus.
Neither he nor I was surprised when he said he wanted to end his practice. He punctuated his departure with belligerent statements, feeling offended and again disparaging my path. Remarkably, these are similar behaviors Anakin showed toward his mentor Obi Wan. At one point Anakin even tried killing his mentor before becoming Darth Vader.
You get what you focus on
After that interaction, I realized I got what I focused on. I got a promising client who chose turning away.
Of course I did not want this outcome. But looking back on stories I focused on the most about this client, I must admit they mainly were about him turning away from the practice. So his choice is no surprise in retrospect. After all, I am a powerful creator. I create EVERYTHING in my reality. That includes versions of those with whom I interact. And that includes clients with whom I work.
I’m no exception to universal laws. Just like anyone else, I create what I focus on, not what I want. Focus is key. So if I want what I want, I must focus on that. In this case, I focused on something other than what I wanted.
And I got that.
I feel like Obi Wan Kenobi. Losing his promising apprentice, Anakin, rocked Obi Wan to the core. Unlike Obi Wan, however, I know everything always works out. So I’m not going into self-imposed exile like he did. I’m not going to quit my practice or quit helping others. The client who left will be fine. And I learned something awesome. It’s an experience I’ll remember, always.
I love how this outcome came out of what many would consider a not-so-good experience. Seeing the positive side of it and amplifying that story must mean the future will bring even more and better opportunities. Ones in which I enjoy clients who stick around. Clients who fulfill their potential as proud and powerful trans-attracted and transgender people.
This experience made me a better creator; a better spiritual teacher as well. And for that, instead of feeling sad or sucky, I’m deeply appreciative.
