Category: How Tos

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How To Easily Destroy “Gender Dysphoria”

Photo by Kenneth Sørensen on Unsplash

TRIGGER WARNING: The following is for REGULAR followers of The Transamorous Network. Having background in our material will help navigate the following, highly effective, yet controversial information. If you don’t have experience with our material NAVIGATE AWAY FROM THIS POST.

An interesting question to think about: the term in the title of this posting, which we will not use again because we wish to ignore it, came from somewhere (let’s replace that term with “@$%*!”).

It came from the same folks who once said transgender (AND gay AND bi) was an “abnormality” and a “mental illness”.

Now, of course, we know they were wrong. But how many people suffered and died or faced literal torture under edicts pronounced by mental health “professionals” and the scientific community?

Given that, why on earth would a transgender person go back to the same people, people who got it wrong time after time, and then accept their diagnosis that the transgender person suffers from “@$%*!” ? That term is not something trans people suffer from.

Suffering is an emotion. Physical suffering is an extension, an expansion, of emotional suffering. And all emotions tell us something we must know to get what we want.

All suffering happens when one tells stories incompatible with what we are (divine beings). Suffering also happens when one wants something, but thinks in ways that counter what they want. You’re a regular reader of this blog, so you understand this.

So let’s look at this “@$%*!” from a new perspective. One that can liberate trans people from medications, mental health visits and suicidal urgings. In other words, this article offers a powerful perspective that can allow trans people to live happily in their own skins. Happy and confident with what they are as they expand into something more.

A purposeful discomfort

People are whole and complete. Everyone comes into the world knowing this. They still are this, but they quickly forget. The stress some people feel when they perceive variation between what they know about themselves, and what they thinkothers think about them, can knock them off their knowing. That’s where the variation comes from: They’re considering what they think others think about them. That’s the problem. Not “@$%*!”

Now, I get, some other people’s opinions matter. Or, rather, we make them matter. The problem with that is, when we do that, we set ourselves up for major trouble down the road.

“@$%*!” is variation, manifest inside us. It comes from thinking in a particular way about one’s self. A particular way that does not accept and honor the process of becoming more of what we all are.

The experience “@$%*!” describes is a signal the person experiencing it gives to themselves. That’s right. Humans think they are an integrated, single entity. That is not accurate at all. We are at least two consciousnesses (we are many more than that).

One aspect of that “we-ness” is our human consciousness, our ego. The other, more important one, is that timeless, eternal state of being from which we came and to which we will return.

That part of us constantly communicates with us, here, in earthly experience. It’s extremely important. Not being able to hear it and follow its communication is what leads to all trouble humanity faces. Not knowing that communication is happening also creates “@$%*!” in trans people. That’s because when that discomfort happens, the person experiencing “@$%*!” thinks something is wrong with them.

But nothing is wrong with them!

A divine knowing something’s up

What’s happening is they’re thinking thoughts that vie with what they want. Specifically, they want to know themselves as a woman (we’re writing specifically about trans women, but this applies to all trans people). And, they want others to see them that way too.

But dominant thoughts (and experiences attracted from those thoughts) tell them they are not women. Those two experiences – thought and experience emerging from the thoughts – create discomfort. That discomfort is a signal; a signal they put there on purpose.

God, the Universe, the higher power, whatever you want to call it, doesn’t make mistakes. Everything emerges perfect. Not perfect as in “complete” or “done”. But perfect as in “ever expanding, eternal, ever new, ever more.”

So this idea being expressed as trans is not something wrong. The person wasn’t born in the wrong body either. That happened on purpose. That purpose brings tremendous value. Value to the individual, to those around them, to the world and the Universe at large.

Built into the perfection we all share comes this signal we’re tapped into. It’s there so we can respond positively to it. And we knew, before we incarnated, that, if we did, over time, we would benefit from listening to the signal. We would become more of what and who we are. We’d live more authentically. As we lived more authentically, we would also benefit countless other people. Our example would call others towards what and who they are. And, we knew we’d thoroughly enjoy every single step of this process.

We also knew we would get everything we want.

The knowing was there

Transgender people nearly all report early on in life knowing they were trans. They may not have known the word “trans”, but they knew something was up. At that moment, they were tuned to the signal.

But the world around them had them disbelieve what they knew with absolute, divine clarity: that they are ok the way they are. However, instead of focusing on the signal and what it tells them, these folks looked outside themselves for help with what’s going on inside them. That’s the problem.Not “@$%*!”.

The majority of people “out there”, have their own problems. They’re looking for people to harmonize with. Seeking solidarity with those people, whether professionals or peers, can feel like it helps. That help can feel like relief.

But “relief” is not enough.

Relief keeps us coming back for more of that. The experience of relief is defined by that which one seeks relief from. So relief is not freedom from what defines it. In other words, the person feeling relief remains trapped by that which they get relief from.

The power of self acceptance and self love

What trans people really want is self acceptance and self love. Not relief. Most forget this is available. Almost every trans person has forgotten this. Same with trans-attracted men, by the way.

Well, it’s time to remember!

When someone feels the way the label “@$%*!” triggers, how do we feel? Most will feel, at first, relief. They finally (think) they know what’s happening in or to them. But in short order, stronger, negative feelings will replace this relief. Why? Because, again, relief is defined by that which one seeks relief from.

Despondent, depressed, insecure, self-conscious, vulnerable, ugly, annoyed, etc., are what those with “@$%*!” feel among other things. Of course someone “diagnosed” with “@$%*!” would feel that way. That’s because the label doesn’t fit! It’s not accurate. A person doesn’t feel discord because they can’t reconcile the gender-oriented physical/mental mismatch. They came into the world knowing that experience would happen.

Why do they feel the discord then?

They’re feeling discord because how they’re thinking about the mismatch is mismatched with their inner knowing. They came into the world with this situation baked in, knowing it would offer awesome opportunity to be more of what they are. That opportunity is still there. It’s waiting for the trans person’s embrace. When embraced, gradually, great power comes into the trans person’s experience.

What does that power feel like?

It feels like self love. It feels like self acceptance. Both are extremely influential on physical reality. They’re so powerful, they will transform other people as well as the person feeling it.

So what to do? And is it really easy? Let’s look at that next.

Photo by Kenneth Sørensen on Unsplash

Getting out of the trap

The way out of “@$%*!” is unconventional and, yet, very simple. But it’s not easy. It is guaranteed to work though because the whole Universe works this way. But, like deodorant, we must apply it or our results stink.

We simply tell stories that feel better. Then keep doing that moment by moment, day after day, until our good feelings are just as permanent and recurring as thoughts and feelings associated with “@$%*!” are in this moment. It’s best to do this before getting into the loop of negative stories about “@$%*!”. Because once we’re in it, it’s harder to get out.

At first the practitioner usually doesn’t notice their negative beliefs are active until the practitioner experiences negative emotion. So when they find themselves there, the key is to catch it early.

Say “hmm, I’m feeling negative. What’s the story I’m telling myself that’s causing me to feel this way?” Then look and see. Likely the person is thinking about “@$%*!” or something else triggering the negative signal. When they do that, all the thoughts harmonizing with “@$%*!” become obvious.

For example, a trans woman might look at herself in the mirror, then see something about them they don’t like. Broad shoulders, for example. Narrow hips or a strong jaw line might do it. In a snap, that observation triggers a series of thoughts. That series of thoughts is where the negative emotion comes from. Not “@$%*!” Nor is it the other way around. “@$%*!” doesn’t cause negative thoughts. “@$%*!” is a made up label. A label that’s completely inaccurate.That’s all it is.

The power of thoughts

Now, the person experiencing this wasn’t born not in “the wrong body”. But thoughts they’re thinking about themselves are wrong. Negative emotions tell us that. They also tell us to do something about how we’re thinking.

But by labelling it, “@$%*!” we turn that thought process into a mental illness. That’s not what it is though! What the thought process is, is a clue. A clue we must not overlook.

It’s that communication mentioned earlier in this post telling the thinker to do something about their thoughts. And it’s a positive process; a process designed to move the thinker into more empowerment, self love and self acceptance

So instead, if we catch ourselves as soon as we can, then think different thoughts, in time “@$%*!” will evaporate. It’s that simple. After all “@$%*!” is not real. It’s a made up term used to give relief through treating that which was described with the made up label, which is false.

But we don’t need relief from “@$%*!”. What’s needed is to use the power of thinking. Isn’t it ironic that it is the power of thinking that got the person feeling these negative emotions? Why give it a label? All it is, is flawed thinking.

Fixing that is simple.

Life experience springs from thoughts we think about it. Best then to think thoughts that feel good.

So what thoughts can we think?

Here are examples of thoughts one can think that will counter negative thinking that comes when confronted with aspects of ourselves we don’t like:

  • “There are a lots of things about me I do like.”
  • “I’m going to list those things….”
  • “This is a process and I’m moving through it.”
  • “I’m not always going to look this way.”
  • “If I think about it, I can see how far I’ve come already.”
  • “I’m making progress.”

Then, when the person feels better from thinking these thoughts, the next step is to amplify that better feeling with even better thoughts:

  • “Wow, I’m feeling better. Look what I did!”
  • “This stuff really works!”
  • “Yay me!”
  • “Wow, I am feeling even better!”
  • “That was fast!”
  • “I feel myself feeling even better now!”
  • “Wow, those negative feelings are completely gone now!”
  • “That was easy!”

If the person keeps thinking these kinds of thoughts until they catch themselves feeling better, they will, with certainty, eliminate “@$%*!” from their experience over time. But the person must do this any time they feel an onset of negative feelings mental health professionals have slapped that label on.

Try it now and see for yourself how effective this process is.

It’s like shower and soap

No one’s perfect at this at first. But hey, no trans person is perfect with make up or voice and such from the start. So why expect perfection out the gate with this?

Besides, perfection, in the way humanity thinks about it, is a trap. The perfection of this practice is an ever-becoming-more perfection. That is the basis of self acceptance and self love: knowing you are whole and complete right now. And…getting better with every moment.

“@$%*!” is optional for every trans person. Instead of that trans people can enjoy every moment of their trans experience, no matter what stage they’re in right now.

This process is guaranteed to work because it’s how the Universe works. But like taking a shower, unless we get in the water and employ soap, our results stink. In other words, we must use this process and do so as regularly as we can. Then watch and be amazed.

If you think this is all hogwash, then fine, keep suffering with your “@$%*!”. Again, all that suffering is optional. And if you haven’t tried this process and still have a negative opinion of it, your opinion is completely uninformed because you haven’t tried it. No wonder you might think it doesn’t work. You haven’t tried it!

If you are trying it and need help, contact me. I’ll even talk with you to get you started at no cost to you.

Trans people are here to expand what it means to be human. But if they can’t accept themselves, if they turn to an industry that once saw them –– wrongly –– as abnormal and mentally ill, how are they supposed to actuate that expansion?

Deliberate use of the creation process

If you’ve received treatment for “@$%*!” and are feeling great, then great. Many trans people diagnosed with “@$%*!” have found relief. But remember what relief is! Just because that’s soothed doesn’t mean the problem’s fixed. Those thoughts are still there, swirling around in your head. I know because I’ve worked with trans women being treated for “@$%*!” and have talked with many more.

It’s likely additional thoughts have you feeling disempowered. For example, believing the world around you defines you or what’s possible for you. Or thinking you’ll never meet a man who will accept you.

This “thought process” thing as the origin of human problems is not going to go away simply by treating “@$%*!”. That’s because the “thought process” thing is the basis for the creation of the world you experience.

The cool thing is, when a person deliberately uses this process, she can create literally amazing things. Nothing is off the table! Including having a fulfilling relationship, a large income, or feeling peace about yourself.

I encourage everyone to pay less attention to the opinions of others. Especially the mental health industry. Find your empowerment in your self. I’ve written extensively in this blog (and my other one) how to do that.

Nothing compares to seeing your reality, deliberately created by you, emerging from your thoughts. Your thoughts are the only place all realities emerge. So why not take control of that process and make your world how you want it to be?

It’s simple. Not easy. But worth the effort.

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“I’m Sick And Tired Of Being Angry” – Trans Woman Says

Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash

Synopsis: “Madge,” a transgender woman, discovers through meditation her deep-seated anger stemming from fears about her safety. Although she lives in trans-friendly Portland and has faced no violence, her fears have hardened into resistance, which complicates her relationships. By recognizing her internal barriers, Madge takes the first step to dismantling her anger and enhancing her future relationships.

A transgender client this week spoke for many trans women we know who struggle with love. And with life.

It’s not that her life is bad. Or that she’s failing at love. She’s doing well at both. In fact, this client’s realization came at a high point in her sessions. But the revelation was sobering for her. I’m sure it will be for many reading the following account of what happened.

It really is an amazing testament of what clients get from this practice.

Let’s dive in.

The hard shell of false self protection

This client, “Madge” is an advanced practitioner. As a result, she’s starting to explore more esoteric aspects of the practice. That exploration begins with meditation.

Our specific meditation method is powerful. Which is why Madge had what happen, happen. In fact, what happened, happened in her first meditation session. That’s how effective our meditation practice is!

The meditation lasted only five minutes. Half-way through, Madge revealed something she never revealed before.

“I’m so angry all the time,” she said. “I’m sick and tired of being angry all the time.” As she said this, tears streamed down her face.

Now, tears are a good thing. Despite some people demeaning the act, crying indicates a great release of resistance. That’s why, after a good cry, people feel better!

Resistance is a major impediment to getting what we want. Particularly in love. We create resistance when we tell stories contrary to our desires. That resistance makes getting what we want hard or impossible.

Madge’s anger is an act of self protection. But it’s also a sign of resistance. Her anger emanates from her and everyone can feel it. Especially Madge. That keeps everyone at a comfortable distance from her. Including men who might otherwise be interested in her.

Her intense, smoldering anger also explains why Madge takes “mood stabilizers.” That hard shell of protection emanating as anger also triggers a lot of anxiety. Anxiety telling her that protection is unnecessary.

Your emotions matter

Certain emotions tell us how much resistance exists within us. Anger indicates very strong resistance. After five minutes were up, Madge and I talked about why she was angry. The conversation was quite revelatory.

“I’m always holding a guard up,” She explained. “I believe I need to because if I don’t, I feel I’m at risk of being attacked.”

Madge believes that, because she’s trans, she’s at greater physical risk. Now, many transgender people will agree with this belief. And while statistics show a correlation between being trans and increased risk of violence, those statistics break down when it comes to individuals.

In other words, whether a transgender person, or anyone for that matter, experiences violence depends 100 percent on that person’s stories. Not stats. And many stories transgender women tell about anti-trans violence are out of touch with what’s actually happening in their lives.

Everyone is in touch with their emotions though. And Madge’s anger was telling her that her stories were creating experiences Madge would not like. Including her being alone.

Her beliefs are also a major factor as to why she’s chronically anxious. Anger and anxiety are both strong emotions. For Madge, most of this occurs at very subtle levels. Mostly because she’s let these beliefs fester for so long.

That the meditative practice surfaced them was a great thing. So we explored it further.

Confronting what’s actually happening

Madge lives in Portland, Oregon. The city is well-known as a haven for trans people. I was shocked Madge believed she was at risk here. So I poked at that belief:

“How long have you lived in Portland as a trans person?” I asked.

“Over seven years,” She said.

“And in those seven years, how many times have you experienced physical violence?” I asked.

Madge had to think about it. I already knew the answer.

“I have never experienced violence,” Madge said thoughtfully.

“OK, and how many times can you remember receiving verbal insults related to your trans-ness in those ten years?” I asked.

“None,” She said.

By now Madge was seeing obvious discrepancies between her fears and her actual life. This was very important, of course. That’s because Madge really wants to be in a relationship. And all the men she’s meeting reflect her fears and worries: They are on the DL. They haven’t fully embraced that trans women are ok to be attracted to. In other words, they feel risk, just like Madge does. No wonder such men show up in her life. She’s a match to them!

Serendipity: the best dating method

I assert many times in this blog that the best way to meet your match is through every day activities out in life. Not online dating. But if a person is afraid of the outside world, I can see how they’d resort to that sucky online experience.

Madge is afraid of the outside world. That fear emanates from her. It blinds her too. It prevents her from seeing guys checking her out. She also can’t tell when a guy compliments her about her appearance. When they do, she ignores it. Or tells the most disempowering story about it. Other times, when she notices a guy staring at her, she nearly always interprets his stare as threatening. When instead, the stare could indicate romantic interest.

Madge and I talked about this in the past.

So if you’re afraid of the world around you, it’s impossible for the Universe to match you with your ideal partner. Your stories create your experience. You also can’t enjoy the fun of such an in-real-life rendezvous! Like this. The Universe is sending matches your way, but if you’ve got that hard shell of protection erected, you’re not going to even notice them.

Its all good tho

The good news is, this situation is reversible. Meanwhile, the Universe will never tire of bringing you ideal matches. That’s something to celebrate. Many people worry that the pool of eligible partners is too small.

Poppycock!

There are an unlimited number of people looking to be with you. Just because you don’t see them, doesn’t mean they’re not there!

The good news for Madge is, she now realizes something that’s been blocking her for a long time. Now she can start dismantling it. And in doing so she can let in the men she wants to meet. She’s already made progress. The men she meets are improving. Meanwhile, there’s a lot more progress ahead.

Maybe you’re struggling to meet your match. Let’s figure that out. It 100 percent has to do with stories you’re telling. Thankfully, telling positive stories and weeding out disempowering ones is my speciality. So let’s talk.

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How To Get Off Anxiety Meds

Photo by Christina Victoria Craft on Unsplash

A lot of transgender and trans-attracted people solve anxiety and other emotional problems through medication. Nearly all those people don’t realize they don’t need medication to rid themselves from anxiety, depression or other emotional issues.

That’s because such emotions are a blessing. Left unchecked though, they can become a curse. They can enslave one in discomfort. So much discomfort the only choice that person thinks they have is relief through a pill.

The medical profession is only too quick to oblige people who suffer from anxiety or other emotions. That’s why almost 20 percent of Americans find themselves with anxiety or other emotional “disorders”.

But such emotional diagnoses get labeled “disorders” needing “treatment” because so many don’t understand the benefit such emotions bring to those experiencing them. Now, I already can hear the rebuttal:

“Easy for you to say,” a snarky transgender woman might write. “You don’t struggle with anxiety.”

Well, I respond, listening to me might be a good idea then. Because, snarky transgender woman, you’re right, I don’t. But if you can’t or won’t listen to me, take the example of a client who just today instantly caused their anxiety to disappear.

How emotions benefit

She came to her session complaining about sleeping poorly the night before. We explored the reasons and the main one was a “general anxiety.” I explained why anxiety shows up for her and suggested she could benefit from the benefits her anxiety offered.

We talked about that briefly, then we dove into an exercise which brought her near instant relief. I’m sharing that exercise here. But first, here’s why anxiety is beneficial.

Anxiety, like any emotion, tells humans something they must know. If they want fulfilling, happy lives, the must know what emotions tell them. But if you ask ten random strangers (or strange friends 😊) why we have emotions, i.e. what their purpose is, you won’t get good answers. Most people don’t know why emotions exist.

Emotions give us clues about how to get everything we want. I talk about this and how to use the clues with clients every week. It takes convincing, of course. That’s because other people convince us they know better than our emotions about what’s right for us.

But for those who use their emotions correctly, charting a path to happiness is inevitable. That’s why emotions – including anxiety – exist. They help us discover our happiness. They also light up the path to everything we want.

Negative emotions, such as anxiety, offer far more benefit than positive ones. But when used incorrectly or not at all, they can spell trouble. And when people mask them with drugs, emotions’ benefits get masked too.

How to get the benefit

The key to unlocking those benefits looks like using emotions for their intended purpose. That means using negative, or unwanted, emotions to chart a course to more positive, better feeling ones. That’s the purpose of the exercise I gave my client.

It worked near instantly. She could tell it worked that fast too. Looking at her face and reactions, it was obvious.

The exercise involves a series of statements that begin with acknowledging the unwanted emotion then moving through that into better feeling emotions. Statements made are declarative, succinct and include increasing levels of emotion as those emotions show up.

My client asked that I make a recording as an aid for her so she can use the recording to practice. Once I did it, I realized readers of this blog could benefit too. So, here it is free of charge. Simply click on this link. It will direct you to a google drive where you can download it to your computer or phone.

The first minute or so offers instructions, then the remaining eight minutes offer the exercise.

Don’t be fooled

As simple as this may sound recorded, the exercise contains great power. Used alone, anyone suffering from occasional or mild anxiety can eliminate such experiences from daily life. Used in conjunction with other practices I offer in my Positively Focused sessions, even those with chronic, medicated anxiety can find so much relief over time, they can eventually get off their medication.

It’s hard when so many people give so much advice about things while not really understanding the purpose and origins of such things. Emotions are one such thing. Without understanding them, doctors, psychologists and psychiatrists do people a disservice.

I realize they’re doing their best and many sincerely want to help.

Of course, there are severe conditions existing where putting people on medications provides needed relief. And from there, a person can eventually perhaps discover ways to better manage chronic anxiety and other unwanted emotions, such as depression.

But for the vast majority of anxiety and depression sufferers, there are very good reasons why such emotions happen. They don’t have to happen. But unless one understands why they happen, finding the way out remains elusive.

Don’t be fooled. Anxiety needn’t be a constant companion. Discover your own inherent, natural relief from anxiety. Use it for its intended purpose.

Then you’ll find yourself appreciating anxiety for what it is: a blessing. Not a curse. Want to know more? I can help.

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[VIDEO] Why Doing Nothing Gives The Best Dating Results

The best way to create a better dating life starts with learning how to do nothing. When people discover the power of doing nothing, life really starts taking off. And dates people have get better and better.

This is especially true for those looking for that perfect mate. Transgender and trans-attracted people struggle finding love because they’re caught up in the “doing disease”. It literally feels like that. Dis-ease.

We think all we need “to do” is do more of what others are doing and we’ll find our mate. So that’s what we do. We go to bars. Maybe we ask friends to hook us up. But the one thing so many do while infected with “doing disease” is pursuing a partner via online dating.

I know that path personally. Over the early part of my life I probably spent something like seven thousand dollars subscribed to various online dating sites. That includes transgender-specific ones. I spent another five thousand or so on other match-making alternatives. That was before I discovered a far more powerful way to fall in love: telling powerful stories.

Doing is drudgery

Before that discovery, I was caught up in doing too. And doing had me doing what everyone else did. It worked. Sometimes. Looking back, though, the success rate of all that doing wasn’t very high. It wasn’t any fun either in retrospect.

No one really likes getting on dating sites in order to find love. It’s a lot of work and money. But it’s crazy how many people go there. So few actually find what they want that way, yet, so many go that way and struggle through sucky experiences.

I’ve asked my clients which they’d prefer: meeting their match in their daily life, on the way to the grocery or while in a park for example, or meeting them on line. Every one agrees they’d prefer meeting them in real life.

Why do so many go through that drudgery then? Maybe it’s because they’re trapped in the doing the disease like I was. I’m glad I found the way out. The way out being doing nothing. It seems crazy, but it’s true. Here’s why.

So many people tire themselves out by trying to get what they want through action. But doing nothing begins a path where things happen far more easily. No struggle required. (Photo by Adrian Swancar)

You match what you’re getting

First, the reason why so many seek their partner through doing, yet fail to find them, is because they’re trying to get something they don’t believe they can have. I talk about this with every client. A person can’t find something they think they can’t find. That’s the case for keys, lost gloves and partners one think doesn’t exist.

How can someone find a partner if they think that partner doesn’t exist? That’s the belief in which many transgender and trans-attracted people stand. So many transgender people think they can’t find a guy who will love them for what they are. So many trans-attracted guys think transgender women of the kind they want, don’t exist. And yet, both parties do, do, do, while not knowing their doing doubles down on their negative thoughts about what they want.

Worse still, how can a person find someone to love if they believe they themselves aren’t lovable? Many transgender women struggle with believing they are worthy of what they want. A lot think they love themselves. But track what comes out of their mouths and in short order overwhelming evidence piles up. That evidence shows what that trans woman really feels about herself.

Same goes with trans-attracted men. Although it’s much easier seeing the evidence. We trans-attracted men struggle with shame and embarrassment about our attraction, but also about our desires. We’re insecure about what our desires tell us about ourselves. And so we struggle too.

Insecurities proceed us all

The fact is, if a person doesn’t think their partner exists, or they don’t think they deserve finding them, they’re not going to.

So when such a person goes online to find their partner, armed with such beliefs and insecurities, they draw to them experiences confirming their beliefs and insecurities. They meet skeezer trans women, cavort with call girls and escorts and get had by gold diggers. Or they meet men who only want to sext, see dick picks or ghost the minute online conversations turn to meeting in person.

When people get these responses, they ignore what these experiences tell them. Instead, they try harder, do more, push, struggle more. They think if they do all that, they’ll finally get what they want.

It doesn’t work that way. Especially in love.

Finding love is easy when you give up the struggle. Even if you’re trans or trans-attracted. (Photo by Juliette F on Unsplash)

Doing it different?

Doing nothing begins an important process. That process reverses inertia created when a person keeps doing the same thing over and over, while expecting different results. When someone calms themselves, relaxes and focuses inward, powerful processes get underway even though it seems like nothing happens.

And the more that person relaxes into doing nothing, the more effective they get. That’s because every person, trans or trans-attracted, receives guidance through their intuition. Doing nothing tunes one into their intuition.

What really happens is, by doing nothing, the person calms down noise in their head. That way they start hearing clear signals their intuition sends all day, every day.

In time, the person realizes some profound insights. Like this client:

Uncovering such insights takes a while. And this is the challenge. So many people in our lives tell us doing nothing is lazy and time wasting. But it’s not that. It’s a profound state of being which tunes one back into their deeper knowing.

But if you listen to society, parents, educators and all those loud mouths in the peanut gallery, you’ll hear “stop being lazy”, “work harder”, “success is in the struggle”.

It works but it’s tough

Such approaches work. But do you really want to struggle through life? I don’t. I’d rather enjoy life while seeing my life bringing me everything I want with little effort.

People who struggle claim it’s worth the struggle. They look at and display scars they “earned” on the way to their success. I say give that approach up, especially when it comes to finding love.

Instead, figure out how to become a match to the relationship, that lasting, loving, true love you want. It’s far more fun, easier, and when it shows up, will be a better match. That’s because on the way to receiving it, you’re becoming a match to it. You’re becoming happy. You’re letting go of your pessimism and joylessness. You let go of blame and judgement.

And when all that happens, you can’t help but meet someone who is just like you. After all, in all that doing to find a partner, the judgement, pessimism, and joylessness you experience is what you get in return in the form of partners matching all of that.

A better way exists. It starts with doing nothing, which really is doing a lot. Learning to do nothing transforms lives. My clients know this. It’s time for you to know it too.

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[VIDEO] Find Joy In Looking For Love Then It’s Yours

The best way to get what you want is to pursue what you want because pursuing it is joyful. This is especially true when trying to find love as a transgender or a trans-attracted person.

That’s because “the odds” of you finding the love you want are very low…if you’re looking at the odds. Looking at the odds is what it means to be “realistic”. Being realistic means “trying hard”. It means doing what others did and their successes or failures. It involves focusing with the end in mind and “faking it till you make it.”

All of those ways can work. But look around at people doing it that way. It’s hard work. People hate the process. Hardly anyone gets what they’re after, because the path is so filled with struggle many or most give up on what they want. Or worse, they compromise. They settle for something “ok” instead of holding out for their dream.

Those outcomes happen when someone goes after something thinking the result is what they’re after. If, however, a person goes after something, knowing the journey to that thing is what matters most, the entire process and experience of the process changes. It’s no longer a struggle, it’s a joy. The process of doing becomes the purpose of the doing, not the means to the ends. And in that mind space, what one wants happens, fast.

Your action isn’t the main attraction

Why does this happen? Because when the mind isn’t focused on the end goal, the mind becomes more open to millions of avenues leading to the goal instead of the one way one thinks it must happen.

Think about it. When focused on a particular goal, say, finding a lover, usually people think of one particular way to get that lover. The main way they think it must happen has to do mainly with their taking action to “make something happen”.

But the majority of people who get what they want, especially really big things they want, hardly ever get those things through their hard work. And usually, when asked, those people attribute “success” to “luck” or “god” or some other force greater than themselves that made it all possible. There’s truth to their attribution. Your action is not the main attraction.

Often, these people reach a point in their “doing” where they realize they’ve done all they can. With nothing more they can do, they give up. They surrender to “come what may”. Typically, once they give up, once they surrender, that thing they want shows up. It’s not the surrender that makes that happen. It’s what happens when one surrenders.

Surrender to the journey

When one surrenders, they give up actions, but also thoughts standing in the way of the easy flow of what is wanted. In other words, the person no longer stands in the way of what they want. Instead, in giving up, they become a cooperative element in the unfolding.

Another way of “surrendering” is giving up focusing on the end goal and instead enjoying the process, doing what one’s doing for no other reason than the joyful doing of the doing. A client and I talked about exactly this recently. Take a listen:

I have several really big things I’m “manifesting”. They include things 99 percent of humans will say can’t be done. But I know those things on my list are as easy for me as an eternal being, with the power of the Universe behind me, to accomplish as it is to walk from one room to another. However, I must relax into the process of their unfolding, because I too have residual belief in their impossibility.

It’s not the “impossibility” of the things I want keeping them from happening. It’s the belief in the impossibility slowing things down. So for someone like me, who wants really big things showing up, I must focus relentlessly on the journey as the goal rather than the goal itself. That’s why I see, nearly every day, evidence of their unfolding.

Everyone can enjoy fulfilled dreams

Compared to what’s on my list, finding a partner, for a transgender or trans-attracted person, is easy as pie. Which is exactly why I write in this blog every week how easy finding a partner is. It IS easy. When a transgender person or a trans-attracted person gives up beliefs running contrary to the love, the ideal love, they desire, what they desire will come.

Thoughts contrary to what they desire aren’t the only ones that must go though. Thoughts seemingly having nothing to do with what they want also must go. This is why it seems to take forever for most people wanting a partner to find one. It’s also why some transgender and trans-attracted people never find their partner. They aren’t willing to surrender. Meaning, they aren’t willing to give up what they must to have what they want.

The biggest thing to give up is being right. Many transgender women and trans-attracted men will swear to the accuracy of their disempowering stories about men or transgender women. Little do they know their being right is one of the biggest things keeping them from enjoying their desires fulfilled.

Anyone can have what they want no matter what it is because the Universe is a wish-granting jewel ready to deliver ANYTHING someone can formulate desire for.

All that’s required is focusing on the reason why someone wants what they want rather than focusing on the thing wanted. Doing that will naturally put one in alignment with the wanted thing, so long as the reasons feel good. If a person can remain in those good feelings, instead of thinking about how lonely they are, or how impossible the goal seems, they’ll get what they want. It’s that easy.

Feeling good is like finding

It’s easy because when a person focuses on why they want what they want and feel good in that, the desire becomes more important than the fulfillment. They don’t need the thing they want, because they already feel good without it. So the desire’s fulfillment becomes irrelevant. When a person gets there, then having what they want is icing on the cake because they already feel as they will feel when what they want comes. Feeling good about what you want, is as good as having it. And when you’re there, you’re sure to have that which you want.

If you’re struggling to find that love you want, it’s likely you’re focused too much on the end goal of having the lover, instead of enjoying the journey to the lover. It’s not hard shifting that focus. It can happen in as little as five minutes. You know you’ve done that when you feel good right now, even without having that love you want. And again, when you feel good, you’re closer to having what you want than you think.

If you want to know more about how this all works, set up a free 1:1 and let’s talk. Let’s discover how easy it is to have the love you think is impossible. It’s not as impossible as you think. All you need is a bit more joy.