The best way to create a better dating life starts with learning how to do nothing. When people discover the power of doing nothing, life really starts taking off. And dates people have get better and better.
This is especially true for those looking for that perfect mate. Transgender and trans-attracted people struggle finding love because they’re caught up in the “doing disease”. It literally feels like that. Dis-ease.
We think all we need “to do” is do more of what others are doing and we’ll find our mate. So that’s what we do. We go to bars. Maybe we ask friends to hook us up. But the one thing so many do while infected with “doing disease” is pursuing a partner via online dating.
I know that path personally. Over the early part of my life I probably spent something like seven thousand dollars subscribed to various online dating sites. That includes transgender-specific ones. I spent another five thousand or so on other match-making alternatives. That was before I discovered a far more powerful way to fall in love: telling powerful stories.
Doing is drudgery
Before that discovery, I was caught up in doing too. And doing had me doing what everyone else did. It worked. Sometimes. Looking back, though, the success rate of all that doing wasn’t very high. It wasn’t any fun either in retrospect.
No one really likes getting on dating sites in order to find love. It’s a lot of work and money. But it’s crazy how many people go there. So few actually find what they want that way, yet, so many go that way and struggle through sucky experiences.
I’ve asked my clients which they’d prefer: meeting their match in their daily life, on the way to the grocery or while in a park for example, or meeting them on line. Every one agrees they’d prefer meeting them in real life.
Why do so many go through that drudgery then? Maybe it’s because they’re trapped in the doing the disease like I was. I’m glad I found the way out. The way out being doing nothing. It seems crazy, but it’s true. Here’s why.
So many people tire themselves out by trying to get what they want through action. But doing nothing begins a path where things happen far more easily. No struggle required. (Photo by Adrian Swancar)
You match what you’re getting
First, the reason why so many seek their partner through doing, yet fail to find them, is because they’re trying to get something they don’t believe they can have. I talk about this with every client. A person can’t find something they think they can’t find. That’s the case for keys, lost gloves and partners one think doesn’t exist.
How can someone find a partner if they think that partner doesn’t exist? That’s the belief in which many transgender and trans-attracted people stand. So many transgender people think they can’t find a guy who will love them for what they are. So many trans-attracted guys think transgender women of the kind they want, don’t exist. And yet, both parties do, do, do, while not knowing their doing doubles down on their negative thoughts about what they want.
Worse still, how can a person find someone to love if they believe they themselves aren’t lovable? Many transgender women struggle with believing they are worthy of what they want. A lot think they love themselves. But track what comes out of their mouths and in short order overwhelming evidence piles up. That evidence shows what that trans woman really feels about herself.
Same goes with trans-attracted men. Although it’s much easier seeing the evidence. We trans-attracted men struggle with shame and embarrassment about our attraction, but also about our desires. We’re insecure about what our desires tell us about ourselves. And so we struggle too.
Insecurities proceed us all
The fact is, if a person doesn’t think their partner exists, or they don’t think they deserve finding them, they’re not going to.
So when such a person goes online to find their partner, armed with such beliefs and insecurities, they draw to them experiences confirming their beliefs and insecurities. They meet skeezer trans women, cavort with call girls and escorts and get had by gold diggers. Or they meet men who only want to sext, see dick picks or ghost the minute online conversations turn to meeting in person.
When people get these responses, they ignore what these experiences tell them. Instead, they try harder, do more, push, struggle more. They think if they do all that, they’ll finally get what they want.
It doesn’t work that way. Especially in love.
Finding love is easy when you give up the struggle. Even if you’re trans or trans-attracted. (Photo by Juliette F on Unsplash)
Doing it different?
Doing nothing begins an important process. That process reverses inertia created when a person keeps doing the same thing over and over, while expecting different results. When someone calms themselves, relaxes and focuses inward, powerful processes get underway even though it seems like nothing happens.
And the more that person relaxes into doing nothing, the more effective they get. That’s because every person, trans or trans-attracted, receives guidance through their intuition. Doing nothing tunes one into their intuition.
What really happens is, by doing nothing, the person calms down noise in their head. That way they start hearing clear signals their intuition sends all day, every day.
In time, the person realizes some profound insights. Like this client:
Uncovering such insights takes a while. And this is the challenge. So many people in our lives tell us doing nothing is lazy and time wasting. But it’s not that. It’s a profound state of being which tunes one back into their deeper knowing.
But if you listen to society, parents, educators and all those loud mouths in the peanut gallery, you’ll hear “stop being lazy”, “work harder”, “success is in the struggle”.
It works but it’s tough
Such approaches work. But do you really want to struggle through life? I don’t. I’d rather enjoy life while seeing my life bringing me everything I want with little effort.
People who struggle claim it’s worth the struggle. They look at and display scars they “earned” on the way to their success. I say give that approach up, especially when it comes to finding love.
Instead, figure out how to become a match to the relationship, that lasting, loving, true love you want. It’s far more fun, easier, and when it shows up, will be a better match. That’s because on the way to receiving it, you’re becoming a match to it. You’re becoming happy. You’re letting go of your pessimism and joylessness. You let go of blame and judgement.
And when all that happens, you can’t help but meet someone who is just like you. After all, in all that doing to find a partner, the judgement, pessimism, and joylessness you experience is what you get in return in the form of partners matching all of that.
A better way exists. It starts with doing nothing, which really is doing a lot. Learning to do nothing transforms lives. My clients know this. It’s time for you to know it too.
There’s great power in managing vibration so that one stands in a high flying state. Doing so through positive storytelling one can literally shape others’ experiences. One can also shape other people. A powerful example of that happened this week with a Transamorous Network trans-attracted client.
This client finds himself profoundly affected by what he’s learned. He started four months ago. So he enjoys some proficiency with positive storytelling. But this week, like many clients, he came having had a rough few days. So when he showed up to the session, he wasn’t ready for what happened.
When I help clients attain a high proficiency with telling stories, I create a vibrational bubble in which I hold the session. Every session feels the same because of this. The high vibrational state I create then hold during the session “pulls” clients from wherever they are, to where I am. That’s why, unlike traditional therapyor counseling, every client enjoys extremely satisfying sessions containing powerful insights and breakthroughs.
A compelling offer
This time, however, I brought a lot more vibrational mastery to the table than usual. That’s because I meditated prior to the session, using a process which increases one’s vibrational focus. I also used another process because I wanted to amplify the great feeling I felt after meditation.
By the time I came to the session, I was bouncing off the walls with intense, positivity, appreciation and joy. So much so, the client’s socks got blown off.
The disparity between where he was and where I was was so great, he had to join me. He literally had no choice because my mastery was so strong. So when the client came into my bubble, his negative vibration had no place to go but outta here! 😂.
Which is why, after the session, he sent this:
Creating people on demand
When it comes to relationships, especially romantic ones, most people try to manipulate, convince, “love” (it’s not really that), bribe, blackmail or blame their partners into being someone they can be happy with. That hardly ever works.
Indeed, the whole idea of “love languages” is part of the problem with relationships. Expecting someone to be a certain way so you feel better is a recipe for disaster. It’s also not loving.
Loving is unconditional. That means, no matter how a person might be, you still love them. That’s hard when vibrational mastery eludes you.
But with vibrational mastery, not only can you love a person no matter how they are, when you do, THEY CHANGE.
The best way to change someone is to tell better stories about them. When you do, you “vibe” with the version of the person you want to experience. Then the person you’re with changes into that person. Better stories about that person make that possible. In the process you also feel fucking great!
Trying to change people through action or words hardly ever works. When it does work, it rarely lasts. It often also creates resentment. But using stories, you can make any change you want permanent. And people love you for it.
It’s just like what my client experienced. And I wasn’t even trying!
Want a powerful relationship with those you love, those you work with and those you care about? Stop trying to change them. Tell better stories about them, become a match to their best self. Then, watch how much power you have to create people on demand.
There’s no doubt in my mind positive stories about life get me everything I want in life. Such a life sounds magical, like wishful thinking, as someone once put it.
But when Transamorous Network clients put the practice to the test, they produce exact same results. They’re guaranteed, of course, because nothing contradicts tenets upon which “Stories create reality” rests. Nonetheless, it’s so cool seeing when clients produce results that seem, well, supernatural.
My newest client came to the practice battling suicidal thoughts that had him in a panic about his life. He’d experienced several “tragedies” in the last two years. He also had resisted sexual desires he considered illegitimate. As a result of negative story telling about those things, he wound up considering life as not worth living. That’s when he contacted me.
Now, in only 11 sessions over 5 weeks, he not only is convinced his Broader Perspective is real, he’s creating mind blowing life experiences. These experiences convince him he’s revealing to himself his own version of the Charmed Life. Soon transgender women will show up wherever he goes, proving his Broader Perspective can create any experience. Including having transgender women show up where, apparently, there aren’t any.
My newest client realizing for himself that what I share is accurate.
Creating “supernatural shit”
Meanwhile, my client continues practicing stories which connect him with the Source of his Charmed Life: his Broader Perspective. The results astonish him.
Two days ago, for example, (at the time of this writing) this client and I had a great session. In it we talked about “tragedies” I touched on above. We started picking at them, turning around negative stories he told about them, so freedom from negative emotion could show up for him.
That night he texted me. I didn’t read it until the next morning. His text described quite an event:
My client expressed at the end of his text what many people believe. They believe this kind of thing belongs in the “supernatural” or random categories of experiences. But supernatural just means “beyond the scientific understandings of the laws of nature”. And nothing ever is random.
I say repeatedly: science is very limited in what it knows. But its believers and practitioners believe it is the only source of dependable knowledge. So when something shows up that exists as real, but outside science’s narrow scope, science’s believers and practitioners will assert the thing false because science hasn’t blessed it as true. 🙄
But most of what humans want to know lies outside the scope of science. Why is there so much suffering, why do I seem to not fit in, why do I like this sexual practice mainstream society thinks is deviant? These meaty questions science can’t answer. Or they try by turning things into diseases and mental disorders and then medicate the experiencer to numb them back into the mainstream where they’re less likely to rock the boat.
Experiences like my client had that night may seem supernatural. But they distinguish the Charmed Life from ordinary life. In that life, the Charmed Life, one experiences things like this all the time.
Revelry for revelry’s sake
I enjoy living the Charmed Life. Part of that joy involves showing others how to create their versions of that life. Doing that, clients and I revel in the results. We don’t revel because of the results though. We revel because reveling feels great.
And when we revel, we focus. By focusing on the revelry, we seed future experiences worthy of future revelry. Such as meeting one’s ideal match.
Nothing compares to the Charmed Life. My clients get it and want more. So do I of course. Want to cultivate your own? I got your back!
Everyone lives in the past. That seems like nonsense, but bear with me as I describe why that is. With just a little practice telling positive stories under their belt – about yourself and the world surrounding you – you’ll realize how accurate that statement is. But if you don’t see life through telling positive stories, “everyone lives in the past” sounds like nonsense.
But it’s not. The reason everyone lives in the past is because they, through science and traditional education, learn a screwy perspective.
We’re all taught “the present” is where we live. Things that happened “before” – that’s they past, we’re told. Things that haven’t happened – that’s the future. So people strive to live in the “present”, that place standing in between this commonly accepted past and future.
The best, and most satisfying way to live though lines up with breaking free of traditional, common knowledge. Stepping out of traditional, commonly accepted knowledge, turns hum-drum, ordinary, uninspiring lives into lives where all your dreams happen. Including dreams of finding your perfect partner, whether you’re transgender or trans-attracted.
Why change perspectives?
Getting that partner means changing perspectives. It seems we live in the “present”, in the “now”, our current experience. Birds fly about. Dogs bark. Cars whoosh by. Winds blow through trees. Yep, that looks like the present. From a universal perspective though, this is not the present.
This is the past. It represents stories – thoughts and beliefs – that have happened already. From a universal perspective, which is the same perspective your Broader Perspective has, humanity’s commonly believed “present” is not the present or the now. It is the past. It’s manifestED.
Why is this so important? How does one benefit by changing perspective?
It’s important because every human is a creator. They create by observing, then telling stories about what they observe. Conclusions, thoughts, desires, preferences…they all represent the same thing: Stories. Stories represent cosmic focus, which channeled, moves all of creation toward immediately fulfilling the story as it’s told.
That means, when a person looks at what people commonly agree is the present, which is past manifestation, and they conclude randomly about that, they create more of what’s manifested in a random manner. That’s why the world seems to mostly stay as it is.
All kinds of things happen in the manifestED version of life, which is the past. But it’s the manifestING version of life everyone knew they wanted to live in when they decided to become human. (Photo by Aditya Vyas)
“No” means “yes”
So if a person or a group doesn’t like what they see, and they rail against that, they create more of that. Pushing against anything already manifestED means giving attention to and focus on that. Again, attention begins the process of creation. It doesn’t matter if “attention” one gives sounds like “I don’t like this”. The person giving attention will get what they don’t like. That’s what they’re putting their attention on, after all.
The Universe doesn’t understand English (or any other language). It only understands vibration. Attention is vibration. It doesn’t matter if you look at something and say “I don’t want this”. Your vibration of attention, whether you like what you attend to or not, tells the Universe “give me more of this”.
This is why things like transphobia, TERF-ism, political division and such continue long after people want something better or different. It’s why JK Rowling continues doing and saying what she does and says. Everyone’s looking at what’s happening, then concluding in ways that create more of what they’re looking at.
In other words, they live in the manifested. The past.
Such things take so long to change because humans also stand opposed to what they want, even when they think they are standing in alignment with what they want. Those wanted things are coming and will manifest though. Which is why, often, future generations benefit from what previous generations wanted. While those previous generations die off in a state of not getting what they want.
Then what’s a better way?
People creating their lives consciously know the commonly known present moment is actually the past. They spend little to no attention there. Instead, they stand in the Unfolding Present, the Moment of Becoming, as Seth calls it.
What is the Unfolding Present?
The Unfolding Present is the no-space space from where the new, the manifestING emerges. It is the instantaneous now, each now-moment, fresh and full of creative vitality. And it’s a place one can experience with practice, just like they now experience the commonly-believed present moment, which is the past.
Now all moments contain creative vitality. But the Unfolding Present holds incipient creative vitality. It is the fountain from which creation springs. The Unfoldling Present exists someplace other than physical reality. Which is why telling positive stories is necessary. For the Unfolding Present is purely positive. Telling positive stories aligns one with that.
Figuring it out through play
This “space” that is the Unfolding Present is a state of being. It’s the state in which children dwell before they’re indoctrinated into “growing up”. Some call it the “flow state”, others call it imagination. Children call it “playing”.
How I prefer describing it is that place in which one knows one’s desires are done, and from that knowing, one relaxes into the IS-ness of being. Being there is obvious because that being-state feels WONDERFUL.
Figuring out how to be in that state is hard to grasp. Now you can see why something like The Transamorous Network is required. Usually people need assistance figuring out how to balance playfulness and what people think is “Adulting”.
But getting there is inevitable, because that’s the basis of everyone’s Broader Perspective state. And everyone’s Broader Perspective wants them experiencing the real present moment, the Unfolding Present or the Moment of Becoming.
Most don’t get there until they make their after-death transition. That needn’t be your fate though.
This illustrated guide offers a complete description of the Moment of Becoming, the actual present moment, and its relationship to All That Is. View the complete guide here on our sister site.
The Charmed Life
The reason your Broader Perspective wants you there is because it is from there that all you want unfolds. Whether conscious of it or not, the Moment of Becoming or the Unfolding Present shoots out of you, turning the ManifestED into something else.
For most people, “something else” looks like exactly what they’re looking at or focused on. Which is why the commonly accepted “present” looks stable. It’s also, as I wrote above, why social change happens slowly.
If one remains unconscious of this state, the Charmed Life remains concealed behind random creations, those manifestations springing from the Moment of Becoming that look a lot like everyone’s commonly accepted present or even the commonly accepted past as well as their persistent beliefs or stories. That’s why car makers, for example, often “renew” models they created for the first time decades ago.
Become conscious of this state though, and your foot comes off the brakes. A new momentum reveals itself, as well as a new way of perceiving. Then your Charmed Life reveals itself to you. From there, you discover, or rather rediscover, childhood wonder.
The world looks fresh, new, constantly. And, you also perceive your desires unfolding, including romantic ones. As you focus more there, you give attention to that.
As I wrote above, attention begins the creation process. So attention on what you want, instead of what you don’t, creates what you want, instead of more of what you have, which often is what you don’t want.
When you perceive that always happening, you live the Charmed Life while standing in its Unfolding. Nothing beats that.
The Charmed Life flows from those who practice telling positive stories. There, one discovers the Universe as a wish-granting jewel, through which life becomes easy.
A personal advanced example
This morning as I’m writing this, I’m thrilled with an experience I enjoyed coming from nonphysical. I came to at about 4 a.m.
Laying in bed, I perceived dreams wherein I taught myself an advanced version of what you’re reading about. In the dream, I felt deep satisfaction while standing in the “now” that contains all my current desires. Some of my desires are extraordinary. Some others represent experiences I know will thrill me as they manifest more.
But what I got in the dream state, then amplified while awake in bed, was standing in the fulfillment of those desires is the Moment of Becoming. And when I “stand” there, I don’t feel excitement, or thrill. Instead, I feel a calm, stable knowing. A knowing born from seeing my desires surrounding me, fully manifested.
This state of awareness makes me a match to my FULFILLED desires. Thinking about them as though I want them, as though I don’t have them, has me standing in the manifestED space. There, I can’t have fulfilled desire because if I still want them, I’m focused on the fact that they aren’t there/here.
“Standing where I want them” is where nearly every trans-attracted person and transgender person stands while trying to “find” their lover. Standing there makes it very, very difficult to get that person.
As mentioned, it takes practice being in a body while focused on and living in the Unfolding. But I assure you, the feeling that comes with being there, fully-tuned to one’s Broader Perspective and living witness to one’s Charmed Life is unmatched.
My experience with it lead me to offer what I’ve experienced to others. Now that a stable of clients produce their version of my results, their results confirm and amplify my own. Nothing matches this life, where my spirituality not only is my income, it also generates profound wonder of All That Is.
You can have this too
The upward spiral of the Charmed Life. Every Transamorous Network client eventually ends up here, guaranteed. (Illustration: My own work)
Two of my clients have begun the intermediate practice. They are blown away by experiences they had with earlier stages. Those stages and results they produced acted like positive feedback loops. I wrote about this upward spiral before on my sister site.
When a person discovers this practice, then practices it, early results are instant. But they’re not so convincing because humans get trained out of understanding what’s introduced. Nevertheless everyone gets them, which is why I offer my money-back guarantee.
But those results kick off a process that’s one-way and inevitable. In a short while for some, a while longer for others, those initial results turn into more obvious results.
Taught how to see these, the client gets excited. Then they want more results, so they do the practice more. More practice amplifies their results, which means more and more convincing results happen.
Before long, clients stand convinced the Charmed Life is real. And the more they reach for it, the more it reveals itself. In time, the client is ready for more advanced practice.
Everyone comes into the world knowing the Charmed Life awaits them. But few get there because they accept indoctrination from others who are oblivious to what’s going on.
That’s ok. It’s usually not fatal. But that does lead to mediocre lives.
PS – this post flew from my fingers after using the bathroom. I had felt the impulse come while in the bathroom and, because I practice following such impulses, I experienced delight watching this post flow. Thanks for reading it. I know you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed is manifested unfolding.
A Transamorous Network Client sent a text this week which offers a wonderful clarifying perspective. It shows distinctly why people settle in most areas of their lives, having given up on their dreams.
Some people push back when I say nearly everyone settles, especially when it comes to finding a partner. But when one understands how the Universe works, and why people act how they do while not knowing how the Universe works, one realizes why settling is indeed the greatest pandemic of our times.
And not just in relationships.
Why no one wants to settle but nearly everyone does
Wayne Dyer once wrote “you’ll see it when you believe it.”
That statement accurately reflects how the Universe works. A person who talks themselves into believing something, will, in time, discover that something to be “true”. No matter what it is, or how crazy others think it, a person who believes will see what they believe.
This is how the Universe works. It constantly reflects back to all of us what we believe. It does this so we can adjust our beliefs so they align with what we want, then receive what we want. No matter what that is.
Knowing this is power. For knowing this, one can create any reality one wants. All one needs is sufficient belief.
My artwork
But the universal experience of “emergence” (commonly called “birth”) is, when a person comes through a vagina, the experience of physical reality, combined with their forgetting who and what they are, creates bewilderment. In that bewildered state, the eternal being, now human, flails a bit for stability. Usually, that means leaning on others who came before. Initially that’s usually parents.
Indoctrination begins
But after a while it also includes teachers, what one sees on TV and peers. It also includes the immediate environment and personal experiences. Having forgotten their eternal nature and origin, for humans, physical reality trumps internal reality. As surroundings take precedence, it appears that reality exists separate from the perceiver. That’s not ever the case. But that’s what it looks like.
So the perceiver begins to “believe what they see”, not realizing what’s really happening; that they are seeing what they believe. Much of what they see and what they learn from others, who are equally if not more out to lunch about what’s really happening than new arrivals, appears to be that the world is random, scary, limited and requires struggle and pain.
In that world, one must “get real”, stop living youthful fantasies, get a job and carry their own weight. This applies not only to earning a living, but to every other aspect of life. Including relationships.
So the result of all this flawed thinking is people give up on their dreams. Or they adopt mediocre goals from others, or parrot what others do. And since mostly everyone has “gotten real” and given up on their fantasies, it’s easy to see why people would settle for something less than their dreams.
No wonder so many live ordinary lives. And no wonder so many settle in relationships. That deftly explains the divorce rate as well.
The “dream” nearly everyone trades their authentic being and desires for. No one comes through a vagina explicitly wanting this. But nearly everyone compromises, then wonders how they got here.
My client’s experience proves the rule
“Alonzo” stood in exactly that place as he shared his thoughts this week. He texted a defense of his limited beliefs while not realizing that’s what he did. What he thought he did was explain “what’s true”.
But what’s true is whatever someone believes long enough. And usually, that means what someone adopted from others, from statistics, or observation, none of which has anything to do with getting what one wants.
Here’s what he texted.
My client “Alonzo” defending limitations inherent in his beliefs. Beliefs born from too much observation and not enough creation.
I know many, many trans-attracted men share similar ideas/beliefs because such men contact me regularly and say similar things.
But again, these things they say have no relevance to what they want. But they do create realities wherein what they want doesn’t exist. It’s no wonder then that they experience frustration and loneliness or, worse, hopelessness in finding their match.
Thinking such thoughts/telling such stories prevents such men from having what they want. What happens next is they settle, choosing to be with a cisgender woman, who can’t possibly (and shouldn’t) satisfy their desires. Then both the woman and the guy live a dissatisfying relationship until they separate in anger, frustration and resignation.
I’m not making this up. Two past clients lived that example. So I know many more have as well.
Some transgender women tell their version of these same stories. Which is why they live sad, lonely, frustrating lives. They’ll settle for a female partner, even though they prefer a male one. Or they go through dating “hell” online, where they kiss many, many frogs. Hell, all kinds of people tell such stories. Transgender women aren’t the only ones trying to solve their relationship dilemmas through online dating.
So let’s look at my client’s text, unpack these beliefs, then create new ones more consistent with what’s wanted. It’s not hard. And anyone can do it. Because everyone came into the world with this ability.
The way out of mediocre
Statistics offer a convenient analysis of a population. But every statistician will tell you that the closer to an individual member of that population, the less accurately that analysis will be. Statistics also don’t explain anything. They just describe a group of things or people based on measurable information.
Of course, we’re not using statistics when referring to how humans create reality. In this case, such things as stats become 100 percent irrelevant. Individual life experience is 100 percent subjective, meaning, no two people experience identical experiences. Nor do they ever conclude similarly.
What’s more, experiences an individual might have depend 100 percent on what they tell themselves. That’s the only thing – their beliefs – creating their experience.
So the problem with the belief that transgender women “…make up 0.6% of the population, and far fewer than that actually are physically attractive to me, are mentally stable, and like the type of sex that I do…” Isn’t that it’s untrue. It may be true.
But is that a truth that helps this guy or hinders him? Obvious it’s the latter. Because looking at this statement he can’t help but think something like “the odds of me meeting a girl I’ll like are infinitesimally small.” That thought will quickly cause feelings like hopelessness, discouragement, pessimism and despair. None of these will lead this guy to his match.
But there is a way out. If you’ve read this blog regularly, you know what it is. It starts with telling better stories.
Finding your lover needn’t be frustrating. But it is when you’re telling stories that suck and you base your chances on the odds. (Photo by Adrian Swancar)
Don’t listen to the odds
The problem with Alonzo’s first belief is, it limits in the extreme what’s available. Again, if he believes this tiny sliver of the population is the only sliver available, he can’t possibly feel anything other than hopelessness. Especially if he has no idea how to connect with that tiny group.
More important though is this. When a person believes this way, they limit in the extreme what the Universe can do for them. The Universe doesn’t give a rip about that statistic. It is a wish-granting jewel. Everything is possible through it.
But the creation process is controlled by the creator. Not the Universe. So if the creator doesn’t believe what he or she wants, he or she can’t enjoy what’s wanted.
Since Alonzo believes these stats as “true”, what the Universe delivers is what he believes. Again, the Universe can’t deliver something we don’t believe is possible, which is why Wayne Dyer makes his assertion that you will see it when you believe it. Alonzo doesn’t believe he can meet his match. So he doesn’t.
The power of Alonzo’s text, isn’t the statistics. It’s his belief in the statistics. That’s what creates the “truth” of the numbers. Not the “fact” that the numbers are true.
Nearly everyone believes they need a huge group of single people from which to sift through and find their match. But no one needs a large pool. Few people want to simultaneously have a relationship with more than 1-3 people. Most people want only one person. Do you really need a pool of people from which to get that one?
Well, you do need a target rich environment if you have crappy aim! That way your chances are better of hitting the target. But since everyone creates their reality by what they believe, or what stories they tell, each person can precisely and easily move through situations where they meet that one person who knocks their socks off.
But if that person believes their match is hard to find, then guess what? They’re hard to find.
My client says he’s leaving the door open. But is he really? No, he’s not! The door is barely cracked open if he thinks his match exists among only .6 percent of the population. Meanwhile Universe stands ready with more than 100 ways Alonzo can meet her. Alonzo can’t access any of them though believing as he does.
Instead, he could tell stories which cause hope, optimism and even positive expectation to pour out of him. Such stories will automatically make him feel enjoying his desire is possible, even easy. Here’s what some might sound like:
How I feel when I tell this story doesn’t feel good
But I must be here because I can’t be anywhere else right now
I haven’t always felt this way. I remember other times I felt better
That means I don’t have to be stuck here
I can change what I think and believe
Since I can change it, I can accept that I believe this right now
I like thinking that I can change my thoughts/stories
That I can change my stories feels better than feeling stuck
Since I can change my stories, I can accept the stories I currently have.
These stories are a start. The first step always involves getting to a place where one accepts where they are, instead of resisting where they are. Anyone unhappy with where they are is resisting where they are.
Taking the next step
The next step: create stories that dispel or dislodge stories that create not-so-good feelings and replace those icky feelings with better-feeling ones.
There may be few out there, but I only need one
I can tell better stories than those I’m telling
I would prefer better-feeling stories
Maybe it won’t be as hard as I think
Maybe there are transgender women in my town
I really don’t know because I really haven’t looked
That feels true
I like the truth of that. Really, I haven’t looked
I can accept that I haven’t tried looking
Accepting that feels better than accepting how hard I thought it was before
What if I don’t have to try looking?
I like thinking that I don’t have to try
Perhaps there’s hope for me
I like feeling hope
Hope sure feels better than powerlessness
Maybe she is out there
It’s nice feeling some hope
So in a few brief, deliberately chosen statements, a person can go from powerlessness, to relief, to acceptance, to incipient belief…maybe even hope. And from there, it’s all down hill (in a good way), so long as the person doesn’t reinvest in old beliefs.
Stories that prevent you from getting the love you want often sound “true”. But that doesn’t matter! What matters is, is the story you’re telling tune you to what you want? These sure do not! Unless you want to remain single and unhappy. (My artwork)
Get on the upward spiral
Getting out of the momentum of disempowering stories feels hard until a person tries. But feeling powerless, hopeless or pessimism can change in an instant, or at most, a few minutes. Look around you though.
Likely people who don’t know what you’re reading surround you. So they look at the world, draw conclusions about what they see, see realities they create consistent with that, then say “yep, see, I’m right. The world is this way.”
Just like Alonzo.
The minute they tell themselves they’re right, they lock in that conclusion as a belief. Then the world ends up that way. A trans woman only meets chaser men. Men can’t find transgender women who aren’t whackos or prostitutes.
For example, Alonzo told me in our subsequent session that he “hasn’t seen a single trans woman in my area.”
“Of course not,” I said. “You can’t when you have such strong beliefs in the way creating a reality consistent with ‘there are none in my area’.”
It can be challenging convincing someone creating a reality they don’t want, that the reality they do want is as easy to create as that reality they have, the reality they don’t want.
But once someone learns how the they, their Broader Perspective and the Universe work together to create reality, I find these people start on a positive upward spiral leading to everything they want.
All my clients eventually enjoy the upward spiral of positive stories. The better stories they tell, the better they feel, then the better life gets. Then they want more of that, so they tell even more positive stories and life gets even better. (My artwork)
Get what you want
They can’t not get what they want because their Broader Perspective and the Universe want them to have it. The only reason they don’t have it is because they’re in the driver’s seat. This Universe and their Broader Perspective can’t give them what they want when they aren’t focused on that. The Universe and their Broader Perspective only gives the person what they attend to. Which is why beliefs are so important.
Beliefs are how humans attend to what they want. The problem is, most humans use their beliefs to attend to what they don’t want. Which is why so many don’t get what they want. Or they get a smattering of what they want, among a crap ton of things they don’t want.
Getting what’s wanted is supposed to be what’s happening here on Earth. The heaven everyone thinks comes after death is right here on Earth. But each person must create it for themselves. No one does it for them. Not even the Universe or one’s Broader Perspective.
Joy in life comes from figuring out how to do that then doing it deliberately. And the more one does it deliberately, the more joyful they become. Then their world must reflect back to them that joy, because that joy comes from joyful thoughts and thoughts create reality.
It’s not hard to do any of this. Everyone is doing it right now, today. They’re just doing it in the wrong direction which leads them to a life of settling.
